Conflict Management in Online Relationships

Abstract

With the diffusion of networked technology, personal relationships can be easily formed and maintained online today. Similar to a face-to-face situation, conflict is also seen in these online relationships. Early theories suggested that computer-mediated communication (CMC) tends to increase conflicts because of the lack of social-context cues, and CMC is not rich enough to manage conflict. As CMC has become part of our daily life, we often face conflict online, and thus we need to understand how people manage conflict online. This study explored how online users manage interpersonal conflict. Self-report survey data from 159 university students were analyzed to examine their conflict-management styles in association with the perceived closeness of the online relationship and a future intention toward the relationship. The results indicated that online users select cooperative management styles to handle conflict in their close relationships. In addition, online users avoid less cooperative styles when they want to continue the relationship.

Introduction

With the diffusion of networked technology, personal relationships can be easily formed and maintained online today. People may or may not actually meet the other person face-to-face (FtF), but they interact with each other by exchanging messages online. According to Parks and Roberts,¹ 94% of their 235 respondents, aged between 13 and 74 years, had formed and maintained online relationships that were made a decade ago. Yet, how online users manage interpersonal conflict has been overlooked. Early theories suggested that computer-mediated communication (CMC) tends to increase conflicts because of the lack of social-context cues,² and also that CMC is not rich enough to manage conflict.^3,4 As CMC has become part of our daily life, we often face conflict online, and we need to handle it online.

Conflict management has been predominantly studied in FtF contexts. Past studies reported that successful conflict management has a positive effect on interpersonal relationships, including satisfaction with same-sex friendships,⁵ romantic relationships,⁶ and marital relationships.⁷ Hence, it is critical to investigate how people manage conflict in online relationships.

To address this discrepancy in past research, this study explored how online users manage interpersonal conflict. More specifically, this study investigated factors associated with personal relationships and looked into the association with conflict-management styles in online relationships.

Development of Online Relationships

Both social presence theory (SPT)² and media richness theory (MRT)^3,4 argue that the lack of nonverbal cues inherent in CMC inhibits communication. More specifically, SPT suggests that communication channels that carry more social-context cues, such as FtF, are perceived as warmer, more personal, more sensitive, and more sociable because a communicator can perceive a higher degree of presence of the other person. Likewise, MRT lists FtF as the richest in their media hierarchy, and argues any media placed lower than FtF are less able to manage equivocal or ambiguous messages than FtF. In short, the lack of social-context cues inherent in CMC was traditionally considered to make communication more impersonal and task-oriented, which can hinder the development of personal relationships online.

However, past studies illustrated that CMC allows interpersonal relationships to develop under some conditions. For example, social information processing theory (SIPT)⁸ suggests that the weaknesses inherent in the characteristics of CMC will diminish over time, and a wide range of topics and in-depth conversation are exchanged as online relationships develop.⁹ In addition, the use of multiple channels (e.g., e-mail, instant messaging, social-networking sites, phone) allows users to develop and maintain personal relationships.^10–13 Further, an extended period of online interaction in the initial stage can significantly assist the development of personal relationships.¹⁴ Moreover, frequency of online communication increases the degree of personal closeness in online communities¹⁵ and promotes more supportive relations.¹⁶ These studies extended the early theories and demonstrated that CMC is no longer impersonal or task-oriented, and that online relationships are not substantially different from FtF relationships in many aspects.

Online Conflict and Management Styles

While several studies have suggested that people develop and maintain personal relationships online, some studies have also shown that the lack of social-context cues in CMC reduces the sense of impression management among online users, and, as a result, CMC creates conflict.^17,18 Despite these findings, few studies have investigated how online users actually manage conflict.

Blake and Mouton¹⁹ first identified five different ways that people manage interpersonal conflict. Their styles include problem solving, smoothing, forcing, withdrawal, and sharing. Building upon their concept, Thomas and Kilmann²⁰ argued that individuals differentiate these five strategies contingent upon the degree of concern for self and for the other party. His concept was later operationalized by Rahim²¹ who integrated these two dimensions into five identifiable styles of handling interpersonal conflict. His classification illustrates: (a) integrating (high concern for self and the other); (b) dominating (high concern for self and low concern for the other); (c) obliging (low concern for self and high concern for the other); (d) avoiding (low concern on both dimensions); and (e) compromising (middle on both dimensions). Among them, integrating, compromising, and obliging styles are more cooperative conflict-management styles because some amount of concern is shown for the other party, whereas the dominating and avoiding styles are less cooperative styles because little concern is shown for the other party.²² Although these styles are well established in FtF contexts, little is known about online contexts. Accordingly, this study applies these conflict-management styles to an online context.

Conflict Management in Online Relationships

Similar to FtF contexts, personal relationships in online contexts differ in terms of the degree of closeness. Indeed, closeness plays an important role in conflict management.

Close relationships and conflict management

Past research in FtF contexts has reported that individuals' conflict-management styles depend on the degree of closeness of the relationship. Close relationships are characterized by high levels of psychological intimacy, attachment, self-disclosure, perceived similarity, and mutual support.²³ For example, individuals tend to use the integrating and compromising styles for securely attached individuals compared to fearful, dismissive, and preoccupied.²⁴ In addition, solution-oriented strategies (i.e., integrating, accommodating styles) are used for closer relationships among Mexican-American adolescents.²⁵ Further, those who feel psychological closeness with their romantic partner reported that they are less likely to experience an aggressive conflict-management style between them.²⁶ In short, individuals try to solve conflict constructively in close relationships.

As discussed earlier, past studies have indicated that online relationships can be as close as FtF relationships. Thus an individual's pattern of conflict-management style in online contexts will be similar to the one in FtF contexts, and the following hypothesis is developed:

H1: For close online relationships, individuals will use cooperative conflict-management styles (i.e., integrating, compromising, and obliging styles).

Future intention and conflict management

While some people develop close relationships online, not all relationships will be maintained. Compared to FtF relationships, online relationships can be sustained with minimal effort because online users can communicate at their convenience. At the same time, online relationships can be easily terminated without much concern for the negative consequences.²⁷ In fact, past research demonstrated that online communication limits control over participants' behavior, as well as commitment.²⁸ Yet, Walther²⁹ found that online users who anticipate future interactions with their partner are motivated to develop the relationship further. Thus those who have an intention to continue the relationship will show a relatively high or at least some degree of concern for the other person when they experience conflict. There is also evidence that individuals who want to develop a relationship are more likely to engage in open discussion and compromise and to show concern for their partner.⁶ Further, Baker's³⁰ study showed that a romantic couple who learn their partner's conflict-management styles can maintain their close relationship for longer. In fact, more cooperative conflict-management styles (i.e., integrating, compromising, and obliging styles) are associated with positive individual outcomes, whereas less cooperative styles (i.e., dominating and avoiding styles) often lead to negative outcomes.²² Thus the following hypothesis is advanced:

H2: Those who have a future intention toward the current online relationship will use cooperative conflict-management styles (i.e., integrating, obliging, and compromising styles).

Method

Participants

A total of 159 participants, who were enrolled on a range of communication courses from a basic public-speaking course to a graduate seminar, consisted of 63.5% female (n = 101), 34% male (n = 54), and 2.5% (n = 4) for whom data were missing. All participants claimed that they currently engage in a personal relationship online. In order to examine the perceived closeness of the online relationship, this study included all types of personal relationships except family relationships, which are institutional rather than personal.³¹ The length of their online relationship ranged from 1 month to 240 months (M = 27.35, SD = 32.78). Their ages ranged from 18 to 44 years (M = 22.04, SD = 3.75), although the majority of them (90.4%) were under 25 years old. Among them, the most represented ethnicity groups were Caucasian (n = 124, 78%) and African-American (n = 19, 11.9%).

Procedure

This study employed a self-report online survey questionnaire with a convenience sampling method. First, a researcher e-mailed the instructors' listserv of the Department of Communication of a medium-sized university located in the south to ask for their students' participation in this study. To the instructors who agreed to support this study with extra credit, the researcher e-mailed an invitation letter with the Web address of the online survey site. Each instructor then made an electronic announcement (e.g., e-mail, Blackboard) regarding this survey for their students. The consent form was posted on the first page of the Web site. In order to protect the anonymity of participants, they were sent to a separate Web site to input their names for extra credit at the end of the survey. Each instructor set a deadline for extra credit, and the survey site was available for 3 weeks. The response rate from a total of nine classes was 67.4%. The participants who communicated with multiple people online were asked to select one with whom they communicated most recently to answer this questionnaire.

Measures

Conflict-management style

Conflict-management style was assessed by Rahim's²¹ conflict-management scale modified for this online study. The participants were asked to give their level of agreement to each statement using a 5-point Likert-type scale (1 = “strongly disagree” to 5 = “strongly agree”). The original Cronbach's alpha coefficient for each of the five subscales was 0.80 for integrating, 0.72 for obliging, 0.70 for avoiding, 0.70 for compromising, and 0.56 for dominating. To improve the reliability of the dominant scale, two items (“I argue my case with this online partner to show the merits of my position” and “I am generally firm in pursing my side of the issue”) were removed. The revised Cronbach's alpha for the dominating scale was 0.68.

Closeness of online relationship

The closeness of the online relationship was measured by Maxwell's²³ Close Relationships Questionnaire using a 5-point Likert-type scale. Among 12 items that were previously used in his studies, one item, which asked about the frequency of touching, was excluded from this study on online relationships. In addition, another item about commitment was excluded in order to examine the degree of closeness of their current relationship. The Cronbach's alpha for this 10-item scale was 0.94.

Future intention toward the current online relationship.

Future intention toward the current online relationship was assessed by three items. One item was the commitment concept from Maxwell's²³ scale. In addition, a question was asked about the participants' intention for FtF meeting in the future. The participants were also asked to estimate the probability that the relationship would continue several years into future by using a 5-point Likert-type scale (1 = “not at all” to 5 = “a great deal”). The Cronbach's alpha was 0.90.

Data analysis

To test the first and second hypotheses, a series of a linear regression analyses were performed for each of the five conflict-management styles. For each analysis, closeness of relationship and future intention were inserted as the independent variables.

Results

Hypothesis 1 examined if the perceived closeness of the relationship can predict the use of cooperative conflict-management styles. The results indicated that the closeness of the relationship was the significant predictor of integrating (β = 0.44, p < 0.001), obliging (β = 0.25, p < 0.05), and compromising (β = 0.39, p < 0.01) styles. Thus H1 was supported.

Hypothesis 2 investigated if the user's future intention for continued relationships can predict the use of cooperative styles. The results showed that the intention toward the current relationship was the significant negative predictor of avoiding (β = −0.26, p < 0.05) and dominating (β = −0.30, p < 0.05) styles. Thus H2 was not supported. The details of the regression analyses are presented in Table 1.

Table 1.

Regression Model for Conflict-Management Styles

	R	Adjusted R²	F	β	t
Integrating	0.48	0.22	21.24^***
Intimacy				0.44^***	3.95
Future intention				0.06	0.55
Avoiding	0.24	0.04	4.06^*
Intimacy				0.03	0.25
Future intention				−0.26^*	−2.13
Dominating	0.25	0.05	4.50^*
Intimacy				0.08	0.66
Future intention				−0.30^*	−2.48
Obliging	0.34	0.10	8.88^***
Intimacy				0.25^*	2.16
Future intention				0.11	0.92
Compromising	0.42	0.16	14.34^***
Intimacy				0.39^**	3.39
Future intention				0.04	0.34

p < 0.05; **p < 0.01; ***p < 0.001.

Discussion

Conflict management in personal relationships has been predominantly studied in FtF contexts in the past, and few empirical studies have been undertaken in CMC contexts. Because online relationships are becoming more common, this study extended this critical research area to online contexts, and explored how individuals manage conflict in online relationships.

As past studies suggested that online relationships can be as close as FtF relationships, it was expected that online users would follow the pattern of conflict management in FtF contexts. Thus hypothesis 1 predicted that people would use cooperative conflict-management styles (i.e., integrating, compromising, and obliging styles) for close online relationships. The result supported this hypothesis. Similar to close FtF relationships, online users show their concern for the other person and select cooperative management styles to handle conflict in close relationships. Although SPT² suggested in the mid 1970s that an individual does not perceive the same degree of social presence of the other person in CMC, the current online users may not recognize any differences from FtF interaction, particularly for close relationships, and online users may exercise the same conflict-management styles unconsciously as they do in FtF interaction. In addition to users' experience with CMC, advancements in technology possibly account for the differences.

Online users can maintain personal relationships at their own convenience or can easily terminate the relationships without much concern for the consequences.^27,28 Considering these characteristics, the second hypothesis predicted that online users who intend to continue the current relationship also show some degree of concern for the other person when managing conflict. Thus they would tend to use cooperative management styles, including integrating, compromising, and obliging styles. Yet, the result only demonstrated that they do not use the dominating and avoiding styles, which are less cooperative styles that are situated in low concern for the other person on the continuum. Indirectly though, this can be interpreted to mean that people have concern for their online partner to some extent because they avoid less cooperative styles when managing conflict. Compared to FtF interaction, social desirability may be reduced online, and people may not necessarily show a relatively high degree of concern for their online partner directly when they experience conflict. However, they will be careful not to be self-centered or to walk away from the situation if they want to maintain the relationship.

Another possible reason for this unexpected result may lie in the demographics of participants. As stated earlier, over 90% of participants in this study were under 25 years old. In FtF contexts, age influences an individual's conflict-management style, and older people are more likely to use non-confrontational styles than younger people.³² Thus older online users may show their concern for the other person more directly than younger users in case they want to maintain the relationship, and they may use cooperative styles.

Further, online users may select the style based on appropriateness. Although Gross and Guerrero³³ found that the dominating and avoiding styles differ in their level of effectiveness for conflict management, Papa and Canary³⁴ suggested that both dominating and avoiding styles are inappropriate to manage conflict in the workplace, in which people are also concerned for relational consequences for goal achievement and social support.³⁵ The result of this study indicated that users avoid these inappropriate styles if they intend to continue the current online relationship. It demonstrated that people are more concerned for appropriateness than effectiveness of conflict management for relational issues. As described earlier, past CMC studies reported that the sense of impression management is reduced in some contexts such as online courses^17,18 in which users do not have to worry about future relations with other members. However, those who wish to continue the relationship will engage in impression management, as relational literature suggests.³⁶ In sum, the results showed that a future intention is also associated with conflict-management styles in online relationships.

Limitations and suggestions for future studies

Despite producing interesting results, this study has several limitations. First, it employed a self-report survey with a convenience sampling method, and the participants were homogeneous university students in terms of age and ethnicity groups. It is well known that university students are leading online users, and they are experienced in the management of online relationships. For example, a recent study with 481 college students reported that their average number of Facebook friends is 302.³⁷ However, the lack of variance in self-report data may have some effects on the results, including the reliability of the dominant conflict-management scale. These issues should be noted when interpreting the findings of this study.

In addition, this study did not examine the differences in the types of CMC, and it was unknown if online users manage conflict with text-based CMC (e.g., e-mail, text messaging) or advanced types (e.g., web camera). As the types of technology might influence users' perception of their online partner, future researchers could investigate if users manage conflict differently across various types of CMC.

Further, this study examined the perceived closeness of the online relationship, and the types of relationships were not identified. As a particular relationship (e.g., a romantic relationship) is perceived closer than other types (e.g., a friendship) in a FtF context,³⁸ future studies could investigate the perceived closeness across types of online relationships.

Finally, some online relationships may be very different from FtF relationships because an online user can “meet” without facing the other person, and they can maintain the relationship with someone whom they never meet without knowing the real name, sex, and social status of the other person. As some studies in FtF contexts reported, the perceived appropriateness of conflict-management styles is contingent upon the status of the other person.³⁹ In addition, past research reported that text-based CMC diminishes status and power differences yet increases equality between communicators,^40,41 and individuals can be quite aggressive toward one another.¹⁸ Thus anonymous users may take advantage of these characteristics and manage conflict differently with someone they never meet. For example, contrary to the findings of this study, effectiveness may be more important than appropriateness for them if they never meet and never plan to meet, because they do not have to worry about the history, as well as the consequences. Thus future research could also look into the anonymity effect on conflict management in online relationships.

To conclude, this study sheds light on the critical research area of online relationships. Although the results of this study illustrate some unique online users' behavior in the context of conflict management in personal relationships, further attention should be paid as users' perception toward online relationships, conflict, and their management styles may alter over time.

Footnotes

Acknowledgments

The author would like to thank Drs. Dan Modaff, Sandy Hughes, Brenda Wiederhold (Editor-in-Chief ), and two anonymous reviewers for their constructive comments on earlier versions of this article. The author also thanks Drs. Carl Kell, Holly Payne, and Blair Thompson who supported this project with their students' participation.

Disclosure Statement

No competing financial interests exist.

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