Abstract
While traditional approaches to meeting romantic partners (through family, in church, in the neighborhood, etc.) have been in decline in recent years, the most popular way for couples to meet had still been fix ups by friends and family—that is, until 2013 when for the first time, it was superseded by online dating. 1 A recent study revealed that American couples are now more likely to meet their partners online than through personal connections. 2 The survey, conducted in 2017 and published in 2019, found that nearly 40% of new couples had met online—more than meet through any other individual method. 1
Based on user statistics for online dating sites, this shouldn't be surprising. According to a new Pew Research Center study, nearly a third of U.S. adults say that they have used an online dating site or app at some point in their dating lives. 3 This is nearly triple the number from a similar survey just a few years before. 3 Based on these surveys, researchers have concluded that not only is the Internet playing a huge (and swiftly increasing) role in how people meet, but it is also changing contemporary dating life as a whole, including cultural norms around marriage and romantic cohabitation. 3 Recently, Singapore, in an effort to boost birth rates and help individuals find romance, also turned to online dating. The country funded a dating agency, Love Express, to build a new app that will use artificial intelligence to suggest potential partners. 4
It is easy to see reasons that the number of people using dating sites and apps might be growing so rapidly. For one, the Internet does the same thing for dating as it does for the other tasks we do online: it makes things more convenient and more efficient. And overall, it appears that online daters are satisfied with their experiences, as they are more likely to describe their use of these platforms in positive rather than negative terms. 3 In addition, the Internet gives people access to more potential partners than they would meet through traditional means (about 75% of the people who meet online have no prior social connection), 5 allowing for more frequent dates, even if these dates do not lead to relationships. Dating sites and apps also make it easier for people to find what they are looking for, even if that is something very specific. 5 On the whole, the majority of online daters are satisfied, saying that it was possible to “find others that they found physically attractive, shared common interests with, or who seemed like someone they would want to meet in person.” 3
Yet, close to half of Americans still think that meeting someone through a dating site is unsafe. 3 Of course, there is always fear that accompanies new technologies. Often, these fears are unfounded—or at least greatly exaggerated—but in the case of Internet dating sites and apps, there may also be valid reasons for people to feel this way. From little white lies (roughly 7/10 online daters believe it is common for those who use these platforms to lie to try to appear more desirable 3 ) to criminal assaults, the range of misdeeds associated with Internet dating is complex and varied. A new Pew survey reports that 28% of users have been called an offensive name, while 57% of women aged 18–34 reveal that they were sent sexually explicit messages or images they didn't ask for. Not surprisingly, participating in Internet dating seems to be most dangerous for young women. While 37% of all dating platform users say someone has continued to contact them after they said they weren't interested, that number rises to 60% for young women. Finally, about 1/10 (9%) users has had someone on a dating site or app threaten physical harm. 3
Harassment and physical harm aren't the only crimes associated with online dating. In 2018, the Federal Trade Commission reported that Americans lost $143 million to Internet dating romance scams. 6 Reports of these crimes to the Federal Bureau of Investigation tripled between 2012 and 2016. And that is just investigations originating in the United States. Many of these scams originate on legitimate dating Web sites and apps, making it difficult for users to identify them until it is too late.
Another common concern about dating apps and sites is safety in regard to who is allowed to use their sites. Many, if not most, of these dating platforms do not conduct criminal background checks or verify the identity or age of users. Instead, these sites put the responsibility back on their users, often in the form of statements in their lengthy terms of use policies. 7 A recent article by Columbia Journalism Investigations and ProPublica 7 called out these issues, highlighting the disparity between Match Group's flagship Web site, Match, which screens paying customers against government sex offender registries, and its other free apps, which have no such screening. It also forwarded criticisms about allowing underage use of its sites and its sharing of personal data. 7 In response, earlier this year, the U.S. Congress launched an investigation into these reports. 8
To counter criticisms and protect its users, some dating app companies have come out with features that are intended to help bolster safety. For example, in January, Tinder rolled out a panic button feature in the United States. Users can trigger it silently if they feel unsafe during a date, alerting authorities to an issue at their location. 9 Some critics worry that the location access is a violation of users' privacy, but the company claims that a third-party company will hold this data, not Tinder itself, and that the benefit of this feature outweighs the privacy concerns. 10 Match Group, the owner of Tinder and many other popular dating sites, has plans to expand this new feature to its other dating apps in the coming months. 10
All of this begs the question of whether Internet dating is any more dangerous than traditional dating. Is it riskier to meet someone online than it is in person or through a personal connection? And if it is, do the benefits outweigh the risks?
In truth, these questions are complicated, and for some, the answer is quite individual. On the whole, it is still too soon to know, and more research on the topic is needed. A lot has changed since the launch of