Recovery from Childhood Adversity: Exploring the Stories of Turkish Daughters of Domestic Violence Survivors

Abstract

Gendered power relations and patriarchal culture frequently put women at heightened risk of domestic violence (DV) and children at risk of witnessing this violence. By modeling their mother's role, such children may in turn become victims of DV later in life. This study explores the experiences of young married women who grew up in a violent home environment to gain a better understanding of their recovery from the consequences of witnessing DV. Semistructured interviews were conducted with five Turkish women aged 31–45 years and all in nonviolent relationships. An interpretive phenomenological approach was followed in analyzing the interviews. The findings suggest that growing up in a violent home had destructive effects on the participants' lives, although they have avoided a violent home environment as adults. The study highlights that growing up in a violent home influences women's perceptions of the “right” intimate partner and their strategies to cope with conflict in relationships. This article discusses key conditions for breaking the violence cycle and ensuring a satisfying marital relationship.

Introduction

Domestic violence (DV) remains a significant problem worldwide, with nearly one in every three adult women experiencing physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime (World Health Organization 2019). In addition, an estimated one in every four children live in a family where intimate partner violence has occurred (UNICEF 2020). Studies show that exposure to DV within the family is a serious threat to children's psychological and physical well-being, whose harmful effects may extend into adulthood and cause intimate partner violence (Genç et al. 2018).

Although many factors lead to DV, patriarchal culture and gendered power relations are critical risk factors. As violence against women is generally accepted by most patriarchal cultures, DV is considered normal and acceptable behavior (Akar et al. 2010; Hlavka 2014). Patriarchal gender roles in Turkey mean that men are perceived as authoritative figures, whereas women are perceived as submissive and obedient (Genç and Baptist 2019). Such cultural norms may lead men to believe that they are entitled to hit women if they consider it necessary (Ozcakir et al. 2008).

Meanwhile, such patriarchal norms may lead Turkish women to accept violence as punishment meted out by their male partners (Tokuç et al. 2010). These beliefs also create an unsafe environment for the children and teach them to view aggression and violence as an acceptable communication method in their own relationships, which can put females at especially high risk for becoming future victims of violence.

Studies in Turkey have mainly focused on the prevalence, forms, causes, and effects of violence against women. However, no study has focused on breaking the DV cycle in a patriarchal culture by considering the adult daughters of women DV survivors. Accordingly, this study aims to understand the experience of growing up in a violent home and examine the experiences of married Turkish women who refuse to be DV victims in a patriarchal culture. It is important to understand how those women were able to break the vicious cycle of DV to build a safe romantic relationship in their adulthood despite growing up in a home where violence against women was normalized.

DV in Turkey

DV is an important human rights issue that is often perpetrated against women worldwide. Based on the National Research on DV against women in Turkey report (2008), 36% of women have been exposed to physical violence, 12% have been exposed to sexual violence, 68% to both physical and sexual violence, and 44% to emotional violence by their husbands or male partners at least once in their lives.

Common DV risk factors in Turkey include marriage and sexual intercourse at a young age (Şen and Bolsoy 2017), living in a large household or with extended family (Şahin et al. 2010), and unemployment of the woman and/or her partner (Tokuç et al. 2010). In addition, exposure to family violence in childhood or witnessing DV increases the odds of becoming a DV victim. Although there are contradictory findings regarding the relationship between education level, financial dependency, and DV, low education level and economic dependence on the perpetrator may be other factors making DV more likely (Akar et al. 2010; Anik and Barlin 2017).

Gender roles and violence in Turkey

Turkey's patriarchal culture determines women's roles. In traditional Turkish families, especially in rural settings, these roles include taking care of the family by cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, and performing other domestic duties without any financial reward (Sakallı-Uğurlu et al. 2018), and satisfying the husband's sexual needs (Adana et al. 2011). It is generally believed that women should depend on their husband for financial needs and anything else that requires his participation outside the home as the sole provider for the family (Sakallı-Uğurlu et al. 2018).

Although such arrangements help maintain a traditional family structure, these roles leave women with fewer rights and an inferior position to men. It also means that a traditional husband believes that he should control his wife's sexuality and labor while she should accept her husband's authoritative control to keep the family together.

Men's authoritative control generally results in using violence (Adana et al. 2011). Men justify such violence against women as a response to “disobedience,” although each man's exact definition of disobedience varies as there is no need to hold the men accountable for their acts. Accordingly, 45% of men in Turkey believe that a “disobedient” woman deserves a beating (Adana et al. 2011; Altınay and Arat 2009). Women also normalize such punishments if they displease their men.

Specifically, 39% of Turkish women believe that wife beating is justified under some conditions, such as burning food, ignoring the housework, spending money needlessly, neglecting childcare, and refusing sex (Altınay and Arat 2009). Given men's privilege and women's subordinate status in Turkey, patriarchal culture gives more power to men over women, provides unrestricted permission for husbands to hit their wives, and legitimizes psychological and sexual violence against women.

Although patriarchal culture is a risk factor for violence, there are inconsistent findings on whether religion is a risk factor for DV in Turkish communities. For instance, some researchers report that DV and honor killings are associated with culture rather than religion (Doğan 2011, 2014; Korteweg and Yurdakul 2009), whereas a few others claim that gender norms are often integrated with racial and religious backgrounds in honor-based violence (Hossain and Welchman 2005; Vandello and Cohen 2003). Regarding interventions to prevent DV, it is recommended that services aimed at Turkish groups should be culturally sensitive by considering the interconnected influences of religion, culture, migration status, and patriarchal concepts (Turhan and Bernard 2021).

Although Turkish culture is considered traditional and patriarchal, cultural values regarding gender equality are being rapidly Westernized. This modernization seems to be shifting toward more neutral gender roles, whereby men and women contribute to a family somewhat equally, such as taking joint responsibility for the family's financial welfare, joint decision making, and sharing household chores (Genç and Baptist 2019). Accordingly, the study explores the personal stories of married Turkish women who, having grown up in a patriarchal culture and witnessed DV during their childhood, have successfully broken the cycle of DV. The findings can deepen understanding of the resilience and strengths of Turkish women, which can then inform mental health professionals working with these populations.

Materials and Methods

To explore how participants make meaning from growing up in a violent home, the interpretive phenomenological approach (IPA) was used (Smith et al. 2009), which allows in-depth exploration of the participants' experiences. IPA was considered the appropriate method for this study as it helped illuminate Turkish women's family violence experience embedded within a patriarchal culture that cannot be comprehended without considering the participants' personal experiences.

Participants

The inclusion criteria for the participants were (1) being Turkish, (2) witnessing DV in childhood, and (3) currently having a nonviolent marital relationship. Purposive sampling was used to yield depth understanding (Patton 2015), with the participants accessed through snowball sampling. More specifically, electronic invitations were sent to the researcher's acquaintances, who were then asked to forward the invitation email to their own network.

Phenomenological studies aim to gain in-depth understanding of the participants' experiences. Thus, a small sample size is recommended for conducting in-depth interviews (Patton 2015). For a rarely studied topic, a sample size of 3–15 is considered adequate for high-quality analysis (Smith 2011; Smith et al. 2009). For this study, five married women were selected, which is sufficient for IPA. Participants were aged between 31 and 45 years. One participant had been married for about 3 years, another for 6 years, two for about 10 years, and one for 21 years. All participants considered themselves middle class while their occupations included diverse fields such as secretary, engineer, accountant, office worker, and housewife.

Data collection

Semistructured interviews were used to elicit the participants' experiences. This method is considered appropriate for exploring social processes and questions of how and why through open-ended questions (Britten 1995; Liamputtong 2009). The core aim in choosing semistructured interviews is to gather unspoken perspectives and beliefs related to the participants' lived experiences (Creswell 2012; Marshall and Rossman 2014).

In this study, the interview topics and associated questions were as follows: (1) the relationship of the participant's parents (e.g., “How was your parents' relationship with each other?” “When your parents argued with each other, how did it end?”); (2) the participant's perceptions of and reaction toward DV (e.g., “When you witnessed conflict between your parents, how did you react?” “To stop violence at home, what should your parents have done differently?”); (3) the participant's current intimate relationship (e.g., “How did you meet your partner?” “How do you resolve relationship conflict?” “To what extent is your reaction during domestic conflict similar to your mother's response?”).

To conduct this study, ethical committee approval was obtained from the university's institutional review board in Turkey. Interested participants were contacted through email, then interviews were scheduled at their convenience. First, the informed consent form was emailed and introduced verbally. It explained the purpose of the research, the terms of participation, procedures, confidentiality, benefits, and anticipated risks. Participants were also informed about referral services in case they suffered distress. Once the participants agreed to participate, the interviews were conducted through Skype, for the convenience of participants and researchers since all were in different cities. Each interview lasted about an hour and was recorded on a digital voice recorder.

Data analysis

Once all data had been transcribed verbatim, each transcript was analyzed and coded manually line-by-line using IPA (Smith et al. 2009). This process involved three stages: coding, categorical analysis, and theme development. For the first step, in vivo coding was used while the second stage involved looking for similarities and differences within the data and grouping coded data into categories. To determine these categories, the codes were checked and then sorted according to their familiarity or relationship with each other to create potential categories. In the third stage, the identified categories were grouped into themes by analyzing the transcript and comparing categories. Finally, the groups were placed into broader categories.

Trustworthiness

To ensure trustworthiness, peer debriefing meetings, a member checklist, and reflective journaling were applied. Two peer debriefing meetings were held with the coders and a senior researcher to evaluate whether the findings were related to the emerging themes. Member checking was conducted with the participants, who were asked to confirm whether the emerging themes accurately reflected their perceptions. Lastly, by writing a reflective journal, the coder recorded her ongoing experiences, feelings, reactions, emerging awareness, and any assumptions or biases.

Results

The data analysis revealed three main themes: growing up scared in a violent home, effects of fathers on spouse selection, and strategies to cope with marital conflict.

Growing up scared in a violent home

All the participants grew up in dysfunctional families with no control over their family environment. They reported witnessing both verbal and physical violence in their parents' home while some participants were directly abused by their parents. Participant 5 described her experience as follows:

My mom was a spoiled woman and acted selfishly. She forced my dad to do what she wanted but he did not let my mom control him. Thus, they fought a lot. She also treated us the same way. She forced us and beat us to get what she needed to get done. When we told our dad how she tortured us, that led my dad to beat up her again.

The participants also reported a distant relationship with their father. Although all their fathers were authoritarian, three participants reported that their mother was passive, suppressed, remained silent, and never asked for help. As Participant 2 recalled,

My dad used to insult my mother in front of other people. Especially when he was stressed out, he was harsher on my mom and blamed her for his mistakes, which made me sorry for my mom because she was weak; she neither spoke up nor defended herself ever.

The participants also remembered feeling scared, helpless, and worried whenever they saw their mother exposed to violence. In addition, some participants became angry at their father and felt pity for their mother, as Participant 1 recalled:

When my parents started to fight, I was always scared and afraid of what if my dad kills my mom. I have three younger siblings; they were scared more than me. Their fear and tears made me cry too.

Although all participants had painful experiences and were emotionally scarred, they preferred to hide their family problems from their friends. Participant 1 stated, “I used to be a withdrawn and shy kid at school. I was afraid to talk to people.” Witnessing violence made some participants withdrawn whereas others became assertive and learned to fight for their rights, as Participant 3 explained:

When I was a kid, I supposed all guys are like my dad. Therefore, I believed that I had to be like a strong boy to not to beaten up by men. I was not like a girl; I was a fighter and so defensive.

Effects of father on spouse selection

Each participant had a different story regarding their intimate relationship experiences. While two participants' marriages were arranged, the others had fallen in love and felt loved before they got married. Although the participants' marriage experiences were positive, they all felt anxious and insecure about dating men. For instance, Participant 3 said that:

I was afraid of men. I had thought somehow they are all going to hurt me until I met my husband.

The most attractive feature of a man for these participants was kindness, compassion, softness, and gentlemanliness. That is, they seem to have been looking for what they needed and missed in their parents' home. As Participant 1 reported,

My husband is a very understanding person; not like my father at all. He listens to me patiently whatever I say, values my opinion, and has never been mad at me.

Similarly, Participant 2 reported that:

He has a very good sense of humor and so sympathetic. I think we balance each other. When I get angry, he can calm down. Also, he is a merciful person, always willing to help others. I love his merciful part.

Coping with marital conflict

The participants encountered problems in their own marriages and adopted various coping strategies for these. For instance, some participants admitted that arguing with their husbands was frustrating, while others reported that they did not know how to handle conflicts in the first years of their marriage. Importantly, one participant reported that she avoided conflict to minimize the tension, while another felt that she was immature and offensive. She added that she acted like her mother when arguing with her husband. However, her awareness of this helped her to think about more adaptive coping strategies:

When I realized that I was like my mum—very offensive and aggressive when we had an argument—it was my wake-up call. My husband is a loving person even when I am unbearable; he does not deserve my harsh attitudes … I try not to nag or blame him for any kind of problem. Instead I get away from him and calm myself by reminding myself that I will not be like my mom.

In contrast, one participant shared that she was like her mother and could be louder when she argued with her husband. Initially, she had been understated and wanted to talk about problems. However, once she found that she could not reach her husband, she became angry and louder. This strategy worked for her since her husband started taking her words seriously:

I have a problem controlling my anger. When I feel I am unheard, I get louder to get my husband's attention. When he notices my anger, he is scared and tries to calm me.

Lastly, Participant 4 shared how writing letters can be more helpful than talking about problems:

My husband does not speak out loud about his feelings or thoughts. Thus, we thought writing might help us to communicate with each other.

Discussion

The purposes of this study were to examine the experience of abused women's daughters who witnessed DV during childhood and their recovery strategies from the consequences of witnessing DV. Although previous studies have reported the devastating consequences of witnessing violence during childhood (Farmer and Owen 1995; Underdown 2007), this study's findings are unique in clarifying how these daughters can overcome these consequences in their own marital relationships. The results suggest that the damage can be repaired and, in some ways, also lead to a positive transformation.

The IPA analysis revealed three main themes. The first theme related to growing up in a violent home environment. The most noticeable feature of this theme was dysfunctional family relationships, including a lack of intimacy and closeness between the participants and their parents. That is, living in a violent home environment during childhood led to a distant relationship between the parents and made some participants introverted, whereas some participants became angry and louder. As expected, this in turn created negative feelings, such as insecurity, hopelessness, desperation, and apprehension.

Likewise, some scholars report how children hold mixed feelings toward fathers who act violently toward their wives (Bancroft 2005; Bancroft and Silverman 2012). The main reasons could be that the fathers' poor parenting practices include a lack of calmness and coercive behavior styles (Jaffe and Crooks 2005, 2008; Kelly and Westmarland 2015).

The participants were also asked about their romantic relationship experiences and partner selection. The results reveal that trust was their most essential concern in a romantic relationship. They reported that they were afraid of getting close to a man and felt insecure, which could be the result of having lived with a father who was abusive and violent at home. This would prevent the participants from developing a sense of basic trust and security. Consequently, they would assume that others are untrustworthy and harmful like their fathers. Previous studies support this conclusion as they show that exposure to family violence in childhood leads to a reduced sense of security and damages the ability to form secure attachments compared with children who have lived in safe home environments (Alderson et al. 2013; Genç 2020).

The present findings indicate that the violence cycle is breakable. That is, the daughters of DV victims do not inevitably experience violent marriages themselves. The participants reported that their father figure had an important impact on their own romantic partner selection. More specifically, they sought partners who had the opposite characteristics to their fathers, and relationships as different as possible from that which they had witnessed in their homes during childhood. This finding is not congruent with the literature on partner selection, which reports that individuals tend to choose romantic partners who resemble their parents (Genç 2020; Strokoff 2015).

In contrast, this study indicates that an important factor in the participants' choice of partner, as the daughters of abused women, is to satisfy basic needs (e.g., being loved, cared for, and security). In other words, the key factors that attracted them to their current respective partner were their compassion, kindness, lovingness, generosity, and protectiveness. This may reflect the need to be loved and valued by others. Since the participants had been unable to meet these needs in their family of origin as children, they sought and found that from their romantic partners as adults.

Lastly, the findings revealed that the participants used various coping strategies to deal with their marital problems. As expected, these strategies also changed over time as both partners mature and they gain more opportunity to get to know each other more closely. This can help them develop more rational strategies based on their marital experience in marriage and greater knowledge of their partner's character. This result is supported by a recent qualitative study that showed that Turkish married women mature over time and prefer to remain silent when they encounter conflict within the family to keep the peace at home (Genç and Baptist 2019).

Furthermore, having grown up in a violent home, the participants in this study had closely witnessed their parents' dysfunctional interactions, which may have taught them what behaviors increase tensions and cause marital conflict. Given this awareness about family violence, the adult daughters of DV victims would likely have a strong desire to have romantic relationship free of violence; hence, they built their own marriages on this basis.

Implications

Early interventions and prevention of family violence are crucial in breaking the cycle of violence. DV prevention programs may help children identify and change inappropriate attitudes and behaviors stemming from their domestic childhood experiences. Parenting training programs could help indviduals, who witnessed DV in their childhood, to modify their dysfunctional family patterns. In addition, practitioners should assess the patriarchal characteristics of families, which may contribute to the normalization of violence.

That is, working on enhancing women's recognition of their roles and understanding of the family rules, assumptions, and attributes related to early childhood experiences could help break the violence cycle. Such discussions about gendered roles and expectations could be included in premarital counseling to help couples to establish realistic expectations for their marriage. Lastly, women can be taught effective problem-solving and communication strategies to improve their intimate relationships and lessen relationship distress, which may contribute to healthier and functional relationships.

Limitations

Several limitations may affect the overall results of this study. The main limitation is the small homogeneous sample. Despite the rich qualitative information gathered in this study, the sample size was a small homogeneous group of educated middle-class women. These results cannot be generalized to the experiences of less educated and lower class young women who witnessed DV as children. Thus, future studies should incorporate the diverse perspectives of such women. Second, the data were collected through self-reported in-depth interviews, which rely on the self-reported recall of participants who witnessed family violence.

Commonly, individuals who have experienced such traumatic incidents tend to minimize their experiences as a way of coping with stress. Although several researchers pointed out that the snowball sampling technique has been utilized most frequently in qualitative studies to find hard-to-reach participants (Cohen and Arieli 2011; Klein 2012; Rubin and Babbie 2011), this technique includes some limitations because some individuals might be highly sensitive and reluctant to share their experience. For instance, individuals who have childhood traumas may not be a volunteer to participate in research. Furthermore, semistructured interview questions for this study were limited to ask some key information such as the influences of employment and religion on recovery processes.

Conclusion

This study revealed the life changes of abused women's daughters in Turkey and their perceptions of how they recovered from childhood exposure to DV to break the cycle of violence in their own marriages. The findings suggest that despite being profoundly affected by ongoing conflict between their parents, the participants' adult lives are very different from their abused mothers' adverse experiences. The participants achieved this through their partner selection and ability to transform their painful childhood experiences into valuable insights about romantic relationships. Consequently, they successfully transcended their parents' conflict in their own marriages. Future research needs to investigate how both girls and boys who witness DV cope with its consequences and build healthy marital relationships by focusing on resilience.

Footnotes

Author Disclosure Statement

No competing financial interests exist.

Funding Information

No funding was received for this article.

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