Abstract
This article discusses how an existential approach contributes substantially by rethinking the ideas of parent education and enriching parent and child well-being. The goals and principles of this approach, namely eliciting the full spectrum of the meaning of parenthood, fostering constructive parent–child and family interactions, extending parents’ concerns from their own children to the welfare of future generations and addressing the issue of gender in parenting, are explicated. Parent education strategies, evaluation studies and their relevance to the Hong Kong-Chinese cultural context are also taken into account. Finally, it considers some practical suggestions for promoting this approach in Hong Kong.
Introduction
The significance of parent education has been increasingly recognized in Hong Kong since its inception in the 1970s. However, practitioners put more emphasis on imparting childrearing knowledge and skills to parents than on working with parents’ life processes and strengths (Kwong et al., 2007; Lam, 2003, 2005; Leung and Lam, 2009; Tam et al., 2001). This article discusses how an existential perspective offers a new frame of reference in which to examine the meaning and directions of parent education. Based on a critical review and analysis of the social context of parenthood in Hong Kong and the existing practices of parent education, the rationale behind an existential understanding of parent education is explicated. Then we examine the goals and principles of this approach. Parent education strategies, evaluation studies and their applicability in the Hong Kong-Chinese cultural context are also taken into account. Finally, some practical suggestions for promoting this approach are articulated.
The social context of parenthood in Hong Kong
Hong Kong families have undergone significant changes over the past two decades, which have had a profound impact on parental attitude. Young couples tend to postpone their first childbirth, bear fewer children or choose to be childless (Census and Statistics Department, 2010). Such a phenomenon can be explained by their anxieties over long working hours, the escalating cost of childrearing and a harsh environment for children (Chow and Lum, 2008). The adverse effects of long working hours on parent–child interaction have been a public concern in Hong Kong (Lau, 2010). Many young couples also believe that they need a considerable amount of money to raise a child (Chow and Lum, 2008). Moreover, Hong Kong is not regarded as a favourable city for child development due to a highly competitive education system (Waters, 2006). The aspiration of accomplishing upward social mobility through academic performance has been rooted in the minds of Chinese parents. The changing social context further urges Hong Kong parents to hold themselves responsible for eliciting satisfactory life outcomes in their children. As families become smaller structurally and many parents rear a single child, parents are busy giving good child care and investing more in child development (Lui, 2002).
A review and analysis of parent education in Hong Kong
In Hong Kong, parent education is commonly regarded as programmes provided by parent education practitioners to enhance parents’ attitudes, knowledge and skills for the promotion of the physical, intellectual, psychological and social development of children at different life stages (Cheung and Yau, 1996; Leung et al., 2003).
Commissioned by the Board of Education, the Chinese University of Hong Kong conducted a consultancy study to assess the needs of parents for parent education and to evaluate the overall parent education service provision (Tam et al., 2001). Based on a large-scale survey, focus group interviews and case studies, this research suggested that parent education should aim toward the holistic development of parenthood. It should focus both on the personal growth of parents and on their knowledge and skills of parenting. It should also be an empowering process for parents. While this research provided a comprehensive picture of parent education practice in this territory, a major limitation is its lack of an objective outcome assessment on the effectiveness of existing programmes.
Several local studies have been conducted to evaluate the effectiveness of specific parent education programmes. For example, Kwok (1994) ascertained positive changes in participants’ knowledge and skills in giving appropriate responses to children’s actions upon the completion of the Systematic Training for Effective Parenting Programme. Cheung and Yau (1996) found that the Parent Effectiveness Training Programme was beneficial to developing parents’ awareness of children’s needs and improving the parent–child relationship. A study of the Positive Parenting Programme (Leung et al., 2003) indicated a significantly higher parenting sense of competence among parents, lower levels of child behaviour problems and fewer instances of dysfunctional parenting styles. A pilot trial of the Hands-On Parent Empowerment (HOPE) programme successfully helped parents from disadvantaged backgrounds enhance child learning, reduce child behaviour problems, and alleviate parental stress (Leung et al., 2010). While Kwok (1994), Cheung and Yau (1996) and Leung et al. (2010) adopted a single-group pre-test and post-test design, the study of Leung et al. (2003) was a randomized controlled trial.
The results of these studies show that overall, parent education programmes in Hong Kong are effective in reducing parental stress, enhancing parental competence, improving parent–child relationships and tackling child behaviour problems. Furthermore, parents can seek changes in their child’s and their own behaviour that are meaningful for them (Leung et al., 2003). They can also draw on different techniques for child management. Despite these notable contributions, there are some limitations that should be taken into account. First, given the small sample size of these studies, it is questionable whether other parents joining the programmes share the same benefits. Second, no control groups were adopted apart from the study of Leung et al. (2003). Alternative explanations of their effects can thus be proposed. Third, most programmes were effective in terms of parental efficacy, parent–child communication and child management; yet in view of a growing trend towards postponement, minimization or even total rejection of parenthood, orientations that seek to bring to parents the possibilities for enhancing momentum and commitment should be sought.
The effectiveness of local parent education programmes should be treated with caution in the light of some research findings outside Hong Kong. Hills and Knowles (1987) argued that parents are considered to be gaining skills in a way that makes a difference only if they discover the personal meaning and become aware of the feelings associated with applications of those skills. Two relevant studies also supported that a change in parenting practice is built upon an integration of what parents have reflected in the programmes with their life experiences (First and Way, 1995; Wolfe and Haddy, 2001), but this essential element is often neglected in the provision of parent education. As accumulated research suggests that aspects of parenting derived from Western frameworks are meaningful in understanding Chinese parenting (Wang and Chang, 2010), more longitudinal studies with a wider coverage of aspects of parenthood should be undertaken in Hong Kong.
The commercialization of parent education is powerful in constructing many parents’ expectations about what parenting should be like (Lam, 2003; Lui, 2002). There has been a rapid expansion of books, magazines, radio and television programmes and education courses related to parenting in recent years. Those reference materials and programmes often reflect a middle-class posture and a normative view of parenting (Lui, 2002). Parents, especially the ones with economic hardship and family problems, may suffer from high anxiety levels and strong feelings of guilt because they cannot provide an environment for the ‘best’ upbringing of their children (Leung and Lam, 2009; Pun et al., 2004).
With a traditional concept of parent education, professional parent educators transfer knowledge and skills regarding parenting unilaterally to parents. Parent education thus becomes an area for professional intervention and direction (Lam, 2003). Many parents seek advice because the professionals are supposed to know more about child care and development. Such a position may produce ‘disempowering effects’ on parents by reinforcing their sense of powerlessness and anxiety in carrying out the roles of parenting (Kwong et al., 2007; Pun et al., 2004).
These criticisms have serious implications for the re-conceptualization of parent education. This article argues that an existential approach can contribute substantially by rethinking the ideas of parent education and enriching parent and child well-being. The following explains why this approach is a possible alternative for parent education in Hong Kong.
Theoretical underpinnings of an existential approach to parent education
Metaphorically speaking, an existential approach does not refer to a single subject but to a large family in which meaning-oriented practice, transformative learning and person-focused education are its members (Walters, 2008). This approach is labelled ‘existential’ because it provides parents with rich learning experiences that emphasize the revival of the life momentum embedded in parenthood (Hannush, 2002; Lantz, 2004). From an existential point of view, being a parent is being involved in a life project that provides life-changing experiences for both parents and their children (Hannush, 2002). Although most parents assume themselves as taking a crucial role in nurturing and guiding their children, children are not the only ones who can benefit from good parenting. Parents transform themselves at the same time.
An existential approach recognizes an induction effect of parental involvement (Hannush, 2002). Undoubtedly, parents’ attitudes, knowledge and skills in parenting have significant influences on their childrearing practices, but in fact, their practices are also affected by what they go through and how they interpret the experience in parenthood. As such, the initial inadequacy in parenting is not a determinant restricting one’s success in the subsequent childrearing because parents can acquire the most practical knowledge and skills from their actual participation in parenthood (Hannush, 2002). As the term ‘existence’ means literally ‘to emerge’, it is best used to describe a constant state of discovering, evolving and becoming in parenthood (Schneider, 2008).
Human existence is fundamentally with others (Krill, 1996; Schneider, 2008). Existence is not located within the individual, but between the individual and other human beings. Parent–child connection is far deeper than any other human relationships because children are an integral part of parents (Hannush, 2002). As the inborn connection between parents and their children is irreplaceable and irrevocable, parents are willing to contribute a great deal both physically and psychologically to take care of their children. Such an appreciation of the inborn connection can energize parents’ innate tendency of having unconditional love and concern (Hannush, 2002). On this basis, parents can identify, create and actualize the meaning in parent–child interactions.
An existential approach does not aim at establishing a separate school of parent education. Rather, it believes that all good parent education practices should start with enhancing parents’ self-awareness and sensitizing their existential concerns (Krill, 1996; Schneider, 2008). In other words, it does not rule out the significance of equipping parents with knowledge and skills, but it holds that these cannot be achieved without a more fundamental aim of fostering parents’ holistic development (Schneider, 2008).
Goals and principles
Eliciting the full spectrum of the meaning of parenthood
An existential approach aims to work with the life process in order to bring to parents the possibilities for enhancing life advancement (Lantz, 2004; Schneider, 2008). It facilitates parents to confront the feelings of anxiety and guilt arising from childrearing while recognizing their strengths and possibilities for change. Rather than being determined by the prevailing standards and norms, it upholds that parents should examine how their worldview affects the ways they perceive themselves and their children, and act in accordance with their own deep convictions, beliefs and values. It induces a transformative learning process by encouraging parents to ‘look at things in fundamentally new and different ways and examine actions they can take to change their lives in essential ways’ (First and Way, 1995: 107; Walters, 2008).
Cultivating a deep relational connection
Despite parents’ diverse experiences and practices, an existential approach highlights the need to strengthen the interconnectedness and maximize the opportunities for children to learn and grow. One cannot deny that enhancing the parent–child relationship is a key component to parent education. The prerequisite for enhancing the parent–child relationship is cultivation of a deep sentimental relational connection and identification with children’s daily experience (Cheung and Yau, 1996). When parents and children are actively involved in common activities and cultivate shared interests, a sense of connectedness will be deepened (Hannush, 2002). With this foundation, parent–child interaction will not turn to a power-and-control struggle. Rather, parents will attempt constructive and meaningful ways of interacting with their children.
Fostering constructive parent–child and family interactions
An existential approach emphasizes parents’ understanding of the meaning-making process in parent–child interactions in family transitions. It reminds parents that every child is unique and that they should remain flexible in applying skills depending on their children’s temperament, age, development and the context. In different stages of the family life cycle, parents must face the dilemma of giving and taking, holding on and letting go, relationship establishment and adjustment, all of which demand that parents be dynamic in coping rather than rigidly adhering to certain rules and methods (Lantz, 2004). Parents can draw different techniques in response to children’s different life stages and situations under the condition that they can discover the meaning of applying those skills.
Based on a bidirectional model of the parent–child relationship, an existential approach to parent education educates the public to evaluate the effect of children’s meaning construction on parents’ personal growth and on the parent–child relationship (De Mol and Buysse, 2008). Inspired by the existential analysis of the three interlocking spheres of human living, namely Umwelt (the ‘world around’), Mitwelt (the ‘with world’) and Eigenwelt (the ‘own world’) (Schneider, 2008), practitioners adopting this approach broaden their conceptualizations of family needs, belief system and strengths and construct a more comprehensive framework for parent education. For example, couples’ perceptions and expectations of marriage and parenthood are explored to understand their impacts on childrearing.
Preparing parents to participate in children’s life struggles
An existential approach to parent education aims to cultivate the qualities of understanding, acceptance, patience, perseverance, flexibility and creativity among parents so that they can prepare themselves to participate in their children’s life struggles (Lantz, 2004). An existential position views child and youth behaviour as a manifestation of a way of being in response to stresses and anxiety arising from their existential concerns (Hacker, 1994; To et al., 2007). They may engage in risk-taking behaviours such as drug abuse and casual sex in order to relieve those stresses and anxiety. In the face of such critical incidents, parents’ spontaneous love and concern for their children can strengthen their connection (Hacker, 1994; To and Chu, 2009). It can also help children and youth to reflect on their way of being and make new life choices. Parents also learn to use parental authority in a correct manner and empower children through love (Hannush, 2002). Parents strive to cultivate authenticity in their children (Lantz, 2004), which means facilitating their children to broaden their life horizons, to encounter the risk in life, to nurture their own resilience and to undertake responsibility for their behaviour (Hannush, 2002).
Extending parental concerns to the welfare of future generations
An existential approach also aims to extend parents’ concern from the development of their own children to the welfare of future generations. The effects evolved from the sense of connectedness even go beyond their own family. Parents also extend their love and concern to other children, especially the ones who are encountering similar life struggles while lacking proper family care and support. Some parents thus contribute themselves to establishing a constructive environment for the next generation through activities such as working as volunteers, being involved in community services and even forming social concern groups (Wolfe and Haddy, 2001). As a social work practice informed by the principles of existentialism is attuned to issues of discrimination and oppression (Krill, 1996), practitioners recognize the inadequacy of the individual orientation of parent education. They consequently put effort towards mobilizing parents to initiate positive social changes when broader inequalities and disadvantages affecting the welfare of children have not been addressed.
Addressing the issue of gender in parenting
Last but not least, an existential approach addresses the issue of gender in parenting. Chinese families are traditionally patriarchal in character; however, the prevalence of the nuclear family in Hong Kong has stimulated change in gender role and family decision-making (Chow and Lum, 2008). Although fathers are still regarded as more detached than mothers in the daily interaction with children, nurturing and caring roles are not the unique domain of women. In fact, more couples recognize the significance of fathers’ involvement in child care and carry out collaborative parenting, accentuating shared responsibilities for childrearing and household participation (Cowdery and Knudson-Martin, 2005). An existential approach attaches great importance to both fathers’ and mothers’ development of relational connection with their children. On the one hand, it challenges the cultural inclination for turning women into a machine for doing household chores (Tong, 1998). On the other, it promotes a changing perception of fatherhood by encouraging fathers to actively engage in child care (Hannush, 2002; Lau, 2010). Practitioners adopting this approach address the issue of gender and help couples develop strategies that achieve collaborative parenting (Cowdery and Knudson-Martin, 2005).
Parent education strategies
As existentialists suggest, education is not simply giving instructions. Rather, the life advancement and transformation of ‘self’ are accompaniments of deep, relational learning (Walters, 2008). The learning relationship itself fosters the empowering effects of collaboration resting on understanding and meaningful dialogues. Such an understanding involves the ability of the practitioner to enter parents’ subjective world in order to help them rediscover within themselves the potential to overcome their parenting difficulties. Another dimension of relational learning is ‘use of self’ (Walters, 2008). Instead of conveying difficult academic and theoretical knowledge about parenting, practitioners share with participants about their struggles and reflections, and practice wisdom derived from their real-life experiences.
In contrast with a technical and one-way transmission of knowledge, parent education adopting this approach is often launched through intensive group work. A constructive climate is established to facilitate close interaction and sharing. Such a mutually supportive environment can help parents open their minds to listen to others’ stories and enter a self-reflective process (First and Way, 1995; Wolfe and Haddy, 2001). Group members can give different or even contrasting perspectives, which challenge some parents’ underlying beliefs and assumptions. Practitioners help create and consolidate an inter-subjective worldview among parents through a dialogical form of relationship, so that parents become active rather than passive learners.
Practitioners use experiential exercises and life review activities to help parents re-organize their lived experience for the creation of coherence in life and generation of reflexive inner dialogues (Lantz, 2004; Leung and Lam, 2009). Practitioners also help parents re-own the memorable stories of their children and review significant episodes of accompanying them to face life challenges. Through these processes, parents can make sense of their experiences, foster new understandings, and discover the forgotten meaning potentials that have already been actualized in the past (Lantz, 2004). Parents can move beyond self-reflection to the possibilities of action, indicating that their new understandings may be put into daily practice in childrearing.
Evaluation studies
Although an existential approach has been adopted in a variety of learning settings (Walters, 2008), there is a scarcity of research, particularly randomized controlled trials, on its effectiveness in parent education. The reason is twofold. First, some practitioners value descriptive research above experimental research due to its naturalistic and existential worldview (Lantz, 2004). Second, psychometrically valid and reliable tools for measuring the unique outcomes of this approach are still not available in quantitative evaluation.
While we know little about the effectiveness of an existential approach to parent education, some relevant overseas studies can fill part of the knowledge gap in the existing literature. Having adopted a meaning-oriented approach to parent education and an experimental comparison group longitudinal design for program evaluation, the study conducted by Hills and Knowles (1987) indicated that parents can maintain what they have learnt only if they discover the life experience and personal meaning associated with the application of such knowledge and skills. Based on the findings of a phenomenological research study, First and Way (1995) found that through a transformative learning process, parents can discover new perspectives in parenting, gain a deeper insight into what is important in their own lives, feel that they are good parents and spend more positive time with their children. The qualitative study conducted by Wolfe and Haddy (2001) showed that a parent education programme emphasizing reorganization of parents’ life experiences and generation of meaningful interactions with their children can heighten parents’ self-awareness, develop a sense of empowerment, increase social support and improve parenting skills. As there has been accumulated evidence for the applicability of Western frameworks to Chinese parenting (Wang and Chang, 2010), these studies provide some empirical support for the advocacy of existentially-oriented parent education in Hong Kong.
Local literature provides little information regarding the effectiveness of an existential approach, but the findings of two studies point out the problems when the existential dimensions are neglected. As shown in the study of Lam (2005) and Leung and Lam (2009), parents in Hong Kong shared a common view that although knowledge and skills are helpful in parenting, the most powerful positive influence on children is parents’ own living examples of who they are. Simply providing parents with knowledge about child development and teaching them certain skills cannot bring about deeper reflections and changes from the ‘inside out’. Even worse, parents who follow the advice of experts often expect their children to yield parental control in return. Ironically, such attempts often result in elevating intergenerational conflicts and mechanization of parenting work (Leung and Lam, 2009).
Relevance of this approach to the Hong Kong-Chinese cultural context
The majority of Hong Kong residents are Chinese, and without a closer look at the cultural factor, the discussion about the applicability of an existential approach to parent education is deemed incomplete. Confucianism is a major philosophic tradition that still guides parents’ thoughts and behaviours in major Chinese societies such as Mainland China, Taiwan and Hong Kong (Wang and Chang, 2010). Several principles of the collectivistic culture derived from Confucianism can be identified, namely respecting the superior, emphasizing human relationships, preserving family reputation and exalting children’s success (Hwang, 2001; Wang and Chang, 2010). It is contended that Chinese children are taught not to make parents lose face, for losing face brings shame to the family. Chinese parents also place great emphasis on studying hard and having proper behaviour through strict disciplinary methods (Wang and Chang, 2010).
Some intellectuals, however, highlight another aspect of Chinese cultural traditions that suggests the liberation tendency of Confucianism (Hwang, 2001). Family is regarded as the natural habitat of humans; it is the necessary and the most desirable environment for personal growth. Only through self-cultivation can one’s family be managed, and as a result, the family relationships can become harmonized. Therefore, the Chinese conception of the self not only constitutes the centre of relationships, but also is a dynamic process of personal cultivation (Tu, 1985). Recent research findings correspond with these Chinese cultural beliefs. Parents in Hong Kong and Taiwan perceive the aim of parent education as being the cultivation of the personhood of parents (Lam, 2005; Leung and Lam, 2009; Tam et al., 2001). In their views, parenthood is both a state of attainment and a process of becoming. It is a lifelong learning process and its ultimate goal is to facilitate their children to become autonomous, moral and integral beings (Hwang, 2001; Tu, 1985). From an existential view, good parenting has significant impacts on children’s moral and spiritual growth (Hannush, 2002). It can thus be argued that an existential aspiration of parent education is not inherently incompatible with Chinese culture.
Several remarks are required for a sensible discussion about the cultural sensitivity in parent education. First, the hybridity of Chinese and Western cultural influences on family should be highlighted in contemporary Chinese societies (Chow and Lum, 2008). Chinese parents are subjected to cultural traditions, but at the same time they follow the Western trajectory in childrearing. Second, sufficient attention should be paid to the contextual variability of Chinese societies. For instance, the one-child policy in Mainland China results in parents’ increased expectations of their children (Tam et al., 2001). In Taiwan, the legislation for family education leads to continuous challenges faced by schools in fulfilling the demands for parent education (Tam et al., 2001). Despite the diversifying issues concerning parenting, the belief that children must be carefully managed so that they can secure good educational achievement still dominates the mindset of Chinese parents (Wang and Chang, 2010). This supports the pressing need for facilitating parents to examine the impacts of the Chinese custom on their parenting, evaluate the desirable and undesirable consequences of certain family practices in their upbringing, and seek their own way of childrearing.
Practical suggestions for promoting an existential approach to parent education
1) Training of practitioners
To train existentially-oriented parent educators, a strong emphasis is placed on heightening participants’ personal awareness and sensitizing their existential concerns. They are led to explore how their own family of origin and life experiences affect the way they grow and perceive the meaning of parenting. Practitioners with knowledge on parenthood, family formation and child development, a keen awareness of the ethical issues in parent education, and training on organizing life-enrichment groups and handling group dynamics are a prerequisite. While parent education is developmental in nature, the distinction between education and psychotherapy should be maintained by the practitioners. In sum, both the personal and professional qualities of parent educators need to be enhanced through continuous training.
2) Mode of delivery
In Hong Kong, many parents expect parent educators to provide them with a manual for parenting (Kwong et al., 2007). As this approach conveys a message that there is no shortcut for learning how to parent, it is necessary for educators to engage people in the learning process if the programme is to succeed. Educators can give public lectures to analyse hot issues such as ‘hyper-parenting’ and ‘over-scheduling the child’ via the existential lens. For the ones who are interested in joining the education courses and parent groups, an empowering process and a mutually supportive environment are essential ingredients for its continuity. The study conducted by Tam et al. (2001) suggested that groups with these elements are greatly appreciated by parents. It is also noteworthy that practitioners are free to draw techniques from different approaches. For instance, productive use of behaviour management is beneficial to providing children a secure environment in which to learn to take responsibility for their lives (Leung et al., 2003).
3) Accumulation of research evidence
More rigorous designs with larger sample sizes are needed to explore the change process and outcomes of this approach and the factors conducive to its success in Hong Kong.
Footnotes
Funding
This research received no specific grant from any funding agency in the public, commercial, or not-for-profit sectors.
