Challenges and Conflicts . . . Strengths and Supports

Abstract

Most studies of marriage among African Americans have adhered to a problem-oriented perspective. Consequently, relatively little is known about enduring African American marriages. As marriage confers numerous psychosocial and economic benefits, there is merit in studying the characteristics of African American marriages that stand the test of time. Seventy-one married African American couples (mean length of marriage = 32 years) provided information regarding their religious practices, perceived reasons for their marital longevity, challenges encountered, marital happiness, and common areas of disagreement. Participant couples reported being happily married, attending church frequently, praying frequently, and believing that their faith has played a large role in their marital longevity. Responses also indicated that these couples have faced and overcome challenges and disagreements to remain married.

Keywords

marital longevity African American marriages Black marriages marital success factors in marital longevity enduring marriages

Most studies of African American families have adhered to a problem-oriented or “deficit” perspective. Considerable scholarly attention has been given to single-parent families, but relatively little is known about the processes at work in enduring African American marriages (Marks, Hopkins, Chaney, Monroe, Nesteruk, & Sasser, 2008). Much is known, however, about outcomes associated with Black marriages. In a multiauthored 70-page report titled The Consequences of Marriage for African Americans: A Comprehensive Literature Review, the opening statement of the conclusion reads,

For African Americans, as for all groups of Americans, marriage matters. The single most important finding of this literature review is that marriage typically and substantially improves the well-being of African American women, men, and children. (Blackmon, Clayton, Glenn, Malone-Colon, & Roberts, 2005, p. 54; emphasis in the original)

As marriage is associated with numerous psychosocial and economic benefits for women, men, and children, there is merit in studying the characteristics of African American marriages that stand the test of time—particularly, those that are “high-quality” marriages, because “the largest gap in the well-being of American adults is between those who are in high quality marriages and everyone else” (Blackmon et al., 2005, p. 7). Indeed, “this gap is greater than the one between rich and poor, the one between those in good health and those in poor health, and the one between Blacks and Whites” (Blackmon et al., 2005, p. 7). With such findings as an impetus, the present study examined several areas of concern relating to enduring (and happy) African American marriages, including, but not limited to, (a) factors that have strengthened marriage, (b) challenges that have posed threats to marriage, and (c) key areas of disagreement within marriage.

Review of the Literature

Examining the statistics and literature on African American marriages can lead to a pessimistic outlook regarding both the likelihood and the prognoses of such unions. For instance, research indicates that compared to non-Hispanic Whites, African Americans (a) are less likely to marry, (b) tend to marry later when they do marry, (c) spend less time married, and (d) are more likely to divorce (Dixon, 2009). Phenomena such as these are of concern, given that marriage is associated with numerous social, emotional, and economic benefits (Blackmon et al., 2005; Dixon, 2009). It has been found, for example, that people who are married are generally emotionally and physically healthier, are less stressed, live longer than unmarried individuals, and are better off financially (Nock, 1998; Waite & Gallagher, 2000; Wilcox et al., 2011). Additionally, Lincoln and Chae (2010) found “that marital quality is an important predictor of mental health status among married African Americans” and also suggest that marital satisfaction may ameliorate the deleterious effects of financial strain and unfair treatment on psychological distress (p. 1097).

Fewer than half of African American adults are married (Dixon, 2009), and fewer than half (46%) of African American families are marriage based (Bureau of the Census, 2011), but many African American couples do enjoy healthy, happy, and long-lasting marriages (Blackmon et al., 2005). Furthermore, African Americans generally have positive attitudes toward marriage (Curran, Utley, & Muraco, 2010; Manning, Longmore, & Giordano, 2007; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2008), and 77% of Black single adults (ages 19 to 35) in one study reported a desire to marry (Blackmon et al., 2005; cf. South, 1993). However, as a consequence of the emphasis on pathology that prevails in the social sciences (especially where African Americans are the focus of study), relatively little is known about enduring African American marriages, as researchers have given comparatively more attention to low-income single mothers (Cutrona et al., 2003). Some recent studies on strong Black marriages have emerged, but they are based almost entirely on qualitative data with sample sizes of 40 to 60 participants (Marks et al., 2008; Marks, Hopkins, Chaney, Nesteruk, & Sasser, 2010; Marks, Nesteruk, Hopkins-Williams, Swanson, & Davis, 2006; Rainbow, 2001).

Large-scale quantitative data indicate that “African Americans who are married are significantly more likely . . . to attend religious services” (Blackmon et al., 2005, p. 18; cf. Chatters, Taylor, & Lincoln, 1999). Additionally, Brody, Stoneman, Flor, and McCrary (1994) found that religiosity was related to better-quality marital interaction and lower levels of marital conflict. Similarly, in a qualitative study of 60 African Americans with enduring marriages, Marks et al. (2008) identified religion as a major resource for the couples, as did Carolan and Allen (1999) in another small but rich qualitative study. In addition to religion, other important marital resources and factors identified in the Marks et al. (2008) study included good emotional, physical, and mental health; relatively high educational levels; unity; trust; and adequate income.

Marks et al. (2008) used Lewis and Spanier’s (1979) ecological model of marriage to frame their study of happy, enduring African American marriages and identified individual, interpersonal, and social and economic levels of resources (and barriers) that reportedly influenced marital well-being. Their summary of the literature reported the following findings (and gaps in knowledge) at each level:

Individual: While meaning and motivation related to marriage are important factors in marital stability, we know little about these psychological dynamics among Black men and women.

Interpersonal: An egalitarian approach toward role sharing and household labor has been a strength [in Black marriages], and a common barrier has been a lack of trust.

Social and economic: Black couples face numerous socioeconomic barriers to marital stability, but faith communities are a common resource. (Marks et al., 2008, p. 174)

In connection with individual-level factors, Hamer (2007) noted that little is known about what marriage means to African Americans. A subsequent study on African Americans and marriage by Curran et al. (2010) found that central reported themes and meanings reported by individuals included (a) the importance of love and commitment and (b) the importance of partnership or friendship, trust, family, and covenant.

Individual-level differences between partners within African American marriages account for a portion of the higher risk for marital dissolution among this group (Clarkwest, 2007). In particular, African American wives and husbands are statistically more dissimilar from each other than other groups on measures of “religious attendance, desired number of children, support for maternal employment, sexual attitudes, and beliefs regarding appropriate levels of independence in marriage” (Clarkwest, 2007, pp. 645-646). Wife-husband differences are to be expected in marriage—indeed, 69% of the difficulties in marriage are perpetual or virtually unsolvable (Gottman & Silver, 2004). However, the differences identified by Clarkwest (2007) are significant in light of qualitative research on strong Black marriage that reports that a “shared family vision”—or wife-husband consensus around certain core issues—is salient (Marks et al., 2008, 2010). Notably, several of the topics of dissonance identified by Clarkwest, including religious attendance, desired number of children, and support for maternal employment, are core issues, increasing the probability of later marital dissatisfaction and/or instability. Additionally, African American couples experience more spousal dissimilarity at the time the couple match is made, and the level of dissimilarity increases the risk of couple dissolution. Dissimilarity in these measures explains about a fifth of the marital dissolution gap between African Americans and other groups (Clarkwest, 2007).

Clarkwest (2007) also found that African Americans have significantly more accepting attitudes toward extramarital sexual activity—and Broman (2005) has shown that “Black marriages had a higher prevalence than White marriages of affairs, minor violence, and spouses not feeling loved by one another” (Blackmon et al., 2005, p. 43). It is likely that these issues, in addition to wife-husband dissimilarity, are associated with higher risk of divorce.

As we transition from a discussion of the individual and interpersonal levels of resources and barriers in Black marriages to the social and economic aspects, it should be noted that social and economic challenges may be particularly pronounced for African American marriages. Consistent with other research (e.g., Edin & Reed, 2005), Clarkwest (2006) found that family formation and socioeconomic characteristics helped explain the higher disruption risk among African Americans. Pinderhughes (2002) also argued that contextual factors, such as “the restriction of economic opportunities, the discrediting of African American identities, and the use of social practices and policies that have legitimized inequality” (p. 270), are responsible for problems threatening marital occurrence, quality, and stability among African Americans. Orlando Patterson (1998) traces deleterious influences on African American marriages even farther back. He posits, “The nation as a whole, and African Americans in particular, are still paying the ethnocidal price of slavery” (Patterson, 1998, p. 167), which included the destruction of partner and parental ties, the promotion of sexual promiscuity, and an infusion of violence that reverberate to the present (Blackmon et al., 2005). Chapman (2007) observes that these obstacles to marital stability among Black couples are exacerbated by broader societal pressures, such as the “sexual revolution, a climbing divorce rate, and a return to conservatism and subtle racism” (p. 286).

In sharp contrast to the negative influence of many historical, social, and economic factors, African Americans are more likely to be involved with and to positively benefit from religion and faith community involvement than most American groups (R. Taylor, Chatters, & Levin, 2004). African Americans are much more likely than other groups to attend church weekly, and greater religiosity has been associated with lower risk of marital disruption (Clarkwest, 2006). Finally, a large demographic study found that whereas Americans who attended worship services more than once a week lived 7.6 years longer than nonattenders, this figure nearly doubled to a 13.7-year longevity difference among African Americans (Hummer, Rogers, Nam, & Ellison, 1999; see also Marks, Nesteruk, Swanson, Garrison, & Davis, 2005). In sum, the influence of individual, interpersonal, and social economic factors on African American persons and marriages is often intertwined with religion—and these religion-related factors often seem to have a more potent (and typically salutary) influence on Black individuals and families than they do on mainstream America.

Purpose

With respect to African American marriage, there is a need not only for more research but also for a positive, strengths-based orientation on the part of researchers. An awareness of factors that strengthen and maintain marriages would be informative, fill a gap in understanding, and likely have more utility or practical applicability than the dominant deficit orientation. Although it is useful, even necessary, to know why many marriages fail, there is also considerable merit in ascertaining why and how some marriages survive and even thrive.

Following the salutogenic approach taken by Marks et al. (2006, 2008, 2010), the present study aims to supplement the problem-oriented focus that historically has guided research on marriage among African Americans by focusing on couples whose marriages have stood the test of time. In addition, whereas previous research often has focused on urban couples (e.g., 80% of the sample in Marks et al., 2008), the present study solicited participants almost exclusively from rural populations in the Deep South.

Method

In this section, the procedure, sample, and measures are described. In connection with the latter (measures), questions are listed. The procedure is described first.

Procedure

Clergy at historically Black churches in rural areas of Mississippi were contacted and asked to identify long-married couples in their congregations who might be willing to take part in the study. Couple survey packets were sent to clergy who responded. In turn, clergy distributed the packets to the couples they identified. Couples mailed their completed questionnaires directly to the researchers in postage-paid envelopes provided by the researchers. About 300 survey packets were requested and delivered to clergy, with 71 completed sets of surveys returned to the researchers, for an approximate response rate in excess of 20%. Couples who participated in the study were entered in a drawing for two shopping cards worth $50 each. Consistent with recent research on enduring African American couples (Marks et al., 2008) and a large, national, racially diverse, qualitative study on enduring marriage (Dollahite & Marks, 2009), couples who had been married 15 or more years were recruited.

Sample

The sample consisted of 71 African American couples (N = 142 individuals). Number of years married ranged from 15 to 60, with a mean of 32.00 years (SD = 11.15). For 90% (64/71) of the husbands and 81% (58/71) of wives, their current, long-term marriage was their only marriage. Framed differently, 7 husbands and 13 wives had been previously married. Husbands and wives did not differ significantly in terms of age. The mean age for husbands was 56.37 years (SD = 9.86), and wives had a mean age of 56.45 (SD = 10.87). Number of children reported by participants ranged from 0 to 8, with the mean number of children per couple reported by this sample being 3.17 (SD = 1.54).

In terms of religious affiliation and involvement, 54% of participants reported being Baptist, 36% identified themselves as Pentecostal (Church of God in Christ and Church of Christ Holiness), and 10% were Methodist. In all cases, husbands and wives attended the same church. This is an important consideration, given previous demographic research that indicates significantly higher divorce rates in interfaith marriages (Lehrer & Chiswick, 1993).

Measures

Each survey packet contained a questionnaire to be completed by the husband, a questionnaire to be completed by the wife, and a questionnaire to be completed jointly by husband and wife. In addition to questions about number of years married, number of children, and amount of time spent together, the couple questionnaire contained the following open-ended questions:

What do the two of you believe has been the top reason your marriage has lasted so long?

What would the two of you describe as the biggest challenge or obstacle that you’ve had to overcome in your marriage?

Looking back over the years that you’ve been married, what would the two of you say is the one thing you’ve disagreed about the most?

These open-ended questions were used to allow participants considerable latitude to answer in their own words and to avoid introducing excessive researcher bias into participant responses.

The questionnaires completed individually by husbands and wives contained questions about age, ethnicity, previous marriages, and religious affiliation as well as forced-choice response format questions assessing frequency of attendance at religious services, frequency of prayer, perceived importance of religious faith in marital longevity, and marital satisfaction relative to perceptions of other married couples. Participants also were asked to mark the 3 of 16 topics (e.g., money, housework, children, religious matters) they and their spouses disagreed about the most during the life of their marriage. The individual-based responses made it possible to conduct a quantitative analysis of relevant variables from each partner’s viewpoint, and the open-ended couple responses provided a jointly constructed understanding of each couple’s perspective on issues related to marital stability.

Results

In this section, the responses to the jointly answered, opened-ended questions are presented first. The results of the individual-level questionnaire are then presented.

Open-Ended Questions

“Analyst triangulation” (Patton, 2002) was used to strengthen coding of the responses of the open-ended questions. More specifically, at the commencement of analysis, couples’ responses to the three open-ended questions were coded and grouped into categories by three researchers (all PhD-level university faculty members) who worked independently. In the next step, the coders compared their categories and, after several iterations of comparing notes and making changes, arrived at a consensus regarding the coding and categories. Responses to each question are listed below. Percentages of couples giving each response are shown in parentheses.¹

Question 1: What do the two of you believe is the top reason your marriage has lasted so long?

God/Jesus (51%)

Love (31%)

Good communication (23%)

Trust and honesty (15%)

Shared religious practices and beliefs (13%)

Have remained friends and still dating (13%)

Commitment (11%)

Respect (10%)

Agreed-upon relationship roles (7%)

Morals/values (7%)

Forgiveness (1%)

Question 2: What would the two of you describe as the biggest challenge or obstacle that you’ve had to overcome in your marriage?

Issues with trust/infidelity (25%)

Communication problems (24%)

Issues involving the children (11%)

Finances (10%)

Illness or death of a child (7%)

In-laws (6%)

Selfishness (4%)

Sex (4%)

Question 3: Looking back over the years that you’ve been married, what would the two of you say is the one thing you’ve disagreed about the most?

Money (24%)

Decision making/communication (20%)

Children (15%)

Housework (8%)

Sex (7%)

Amount of time spent together (4%)

Love/affection demonstrated (4%)

In-laws (3%)

Relationship roles (3%)

Politics (3%)

Electronic media (e.g., television) (3%)

Trust (1%)

In connection with the responses to Question 3 regarding issues “disagreed about the most,” we note the similarities between the participants’ responses and the longitudinal work of Gottman (e.g., Gottman & Silver, 2004). Gottman identifies the six leading causes of marital conflict as “work stress, in-laws, money, sex, housework, and [children]” (Gottman & Silver, 2004, p. 187). Five of Gottman’s six leading causes of conflict are reflected in the top eight of our study’s findings as well. The only “missing” item is work stress, a fact likely accounted for by the average marital duration of 32 years in our sample—meaning that many were retired or approaching retirement.

Another significant difference from Gottman’s research is not as easily explained. Our participants reported that, second only to money, they disagreed most about decision making and communication. This point will be revisited in the Discussion section later.

Individual Quantitative Questionnaires

Virtually the entire sample (99% of husbands and 97% of wives) reported that they believe that they are about as happy as or happier than most married couples. Although such figures promote an overwhelmingly happy image of marriage among these couples, this image should be tempered and balanced with an awareness of what has been labeled selective comparison—or the human tendency to subconsciously compare oneself only with those who are faring “worse” (Gilbert, 2007). For example, “96% of the cancer patients in one study claimed to be in better health than the average cancer patient” (cf. Gilbert, 2007, p. 183; S. Taylor, Falke, Shoptaw, & Lichtman, 1986). Although this caveat adds context, the 99% (husbands) and 97% (wives) reports are still very high by any standard. On a related note, 77% of the couples reported spending “quite a bit” or “all” of their time together. This figure is likely influenced by the retired status of many of the participants, but the retired status of several participants does not fully explain this high level of shared time. This figure seems to indicate that although the marital happiness reports may be inflated or subject to the selective comparison bias mentioned above, the vast majority of these couples reportedly make the effort to spend significant time together.

Predictably, given the sampling strategy of clergy referrals, study participants were highly religiously active, with 91% of husbands and 99% of wives reporting attending religious services one or more times per week and 88% of husbands and 97% of wives reporting praying one or more times per day. Most participants (93% of husbands and 94% of wives) felt that their faith was a very important factor in the longevity of their marriages.

Perhaps ironically, husbands and wives generally agreed about the topics they most frequently disagreed about (see Table 1). However, there were some differences. The most noticeable difference is in the two most frequent topics: Although both identified money and communication as the two most frequently topics of disagreement, husbands perceived money to be the most frequent topic, and wives reported they were most likely to disagree about communication.

Table 1.

Most Frequent Topics of Disagreement According to Husbands and Wives (in percentages)

Husbands		Wives
Money	47.1	Communications	45.1
Communication	38.6	Money	38.0
Housework	30.0	Children	29.6
Children	25.7	Housework	26.8
Love and affection	25.7	Love and affection	26.8
Sexual relations	24.3	Sexual relations	23.9

Discussion

The data gleaned from this study are informative in that they provide a rich description of African American couples with enduring marriages. The couples who participated in this study report being happily married, attending church frequently, praying often, and believing that their faith plays a large role in the longevity of their marriages. At the same time, participant couples were characterized by religious homogeneity (i.e., all of the husbands and wives in the present sample were same-faith couples). They have a higher-than-average number of children (Bureau of the Census, 2004), and 85% were in a first marriage. Finally, they have faced challenges and experienced disagreement in their marriages, yet they have faced these challenges and worked through these disagreements to remain married.

Responses to the open-ended questions appear comparable to findings from studies of marital longevity in other ethnic groups, suggesting that there may be several transferrable keys to marital longevity, as well as a certain degree of across-ethnicity commonality regarding the challenges couples face and sources and topics of their disagreements (e.g., Gottman & Silver, 2004). Even so, some of the challenges facing African American marriages do seem to be unique or at least more pronounced (Marks et al., 2006).

Implications

These results help fill a major research gap and make a much-needed positive contribution to research on marriage among African Americans. Present results also reinforce the idea that among those who are religious, religious faith and practices (i.e., regular church attendance and prayer) are related to healthy marriages and may buffer marriages against challenges. At the same time, our findings regarding factors involved in African American marital longevity have relevance for (and can be integrated into) the fields of relationship education, marriage and couples therapy, and pastoral and premarital counseling. This study’s results are also valuable in that they suggest that the inevitable challenges and disagreements of marriage need not be destructive and need not lead to the dissolution of a marriage.

Limitations

Perhaps the major limitation of the study is that participating couples were recruited exclusively through African American churches. A related limitation is that the sampling method resulted in the lack of a comparison group of long-married African American couples who are not religiously active. However, 90% of married African American couples are religious (Marks et al., 2008).

Directions for Further Research

In the past decade, a handful of emerging studies have provided insights into factors that promote healthy marriages among African Americans, but this work is characterized by small samples. This research domain is nascent, and more studies using larger, more representative samples are needed.

Concurrently, the relationship between religion and marriage needs further exploration. Our findings indicate that religion plays a major role in enduring African American marriages. We need to compare marital outcomes between church-attending and nonattending African Americans, a methodology that has been followed in health and longevity studies (e.g., Hummer et al., 1999).

Finally, a preponderance of the research on healthy and/or enduring marriages among African Americans has been qualitative in nature. Therefore, more quantitative research on strong, stable African Americans marriages is warranted.

Conclusion

The present study, in particular, participant responses to the open-ended questions, provides valuable information about perceived reasons for marital longevity, challenges encountered, marital happiness, and common areas of disagreement.

The first research question (and question posed to the participants) was a strengths-based or salutogenic query: “What do the two of you believe has been the top reason your marriage has lasted so long?” This allowed the study to move past deficit and pathology-focused models of African American families that have dominated the empirical literature of the past, and several related insights were gained, including the perceived importance of God or Jesus, love, good communication, trust and honesty, shared religious practices and beliefs, remaining friends and still dating, commitment, respect, agreed-upon relationship roles, morals and values, and forgiveness.

Although identifying and documenting sources of strength is important, it is only part of the picture. This study also addressed significant challenges with the question, “What would the two of you describe as the biggest challenge or obstacle that you’ve had to overcome in your marriage?” The study also directly addressed intramarital conflict with the question, “Looking back over the years that you’ve been married, what would the two of you say is the one thing you’ve disagreed about the most?” Although the strengths identified in connection with the first major question of the study are of great value, the data addressing challenges and disagreements offer significant contributions in their own right. In sum, from the participants in this study, we learn key sources of strength and support for enduring African American marriages, key challenges, obstacles, and external threats to these marriages and key areas of internal or intramarital disagreement and danger. Phrased differently, from this study, we learn more about not only what contributes to marital dissolution but also what factors promote stability and happiness. As we better understand not only what destroys marriage but also what nourishes it, we will become more informed and more effective educators, researchers, clinicians, clergy, and members of families.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The authors disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: Funding for this study was provided by a grant to the first author by the Office of Research and Economic Development at Mississippi State University.

Notes

Bios

Tommy M. Phillips is an assistant professor of human development and family studies in the School of Human Sciences at Mississippi State University. Although his research has been primarily in the area of adolescent development and well-being, more recently, his research interests have expanded to include factors involved in marital longevity and family and parental influences on young adult romantic relationships.

Joe D. Wilmoth is an associate professor of human development and family studies in the School of Human Sciences, Mississippi State University. Most of his prior publications and presentations have focused on the involvement of clergy in marriage preparation. His most recent research is on the intersection of aging, families, and religion.

Loren D. Marks, PhD, CFLE, holds the Kathryn Norwood and Claude Fussel Alumni Professorship in the College of Agriculture and is an associate professor in the Family, Child, and Consumer Science Division of Louisiana State University’s (LSU) School of Human Ecology. Since beginning his work at LSU in 2002, he has centered his research efforts on a national qualitative study of faith and families. He has authored 40 research publications on family life, including recent work that has received national media attention from sources as diverse as the Washington Times and Black Entertainment Television ().

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