African American Young Adult Women’s Stories About Love: What I Want in a Long-Term Partner

Abstract

African American marriage rates have declined over the years. This qualitative study examines the ways in which African American young adult women describe their desires in potential long-term (possibly marriage) partners. The following research questions guided the study: (a) What are young adult African American women’s perceptions as it relates to long-term relationships and marriage? and (b) What qualities do African American young adult women desire in a long-term partner? A total of 35 African American young adults participated in the study. Findings for the study indicated that childhood observations of family members’ relationships, personality traits, and values had great influence in the type of partner desired. The study offers several recommendations for future research and strategies for marriage and family practices in the African American community.

Keywords

African American women young adults emerging adulthood relationships marriage mate selection

Marriage in the African American Community

For African Americans, family is one of the most important institutions in the community (Franklin, 2007) with the institution and history of marriage being studied by many researchers (Dixon, 2009; King, 1999; King & Allen, 2009). In past generations, the majority of African American households consisted of married couples (Belgrave & Allison, 2019). In more recent decades, there has been a steady decline in marriage among African Americans (Belgrave & Allison, 2019), with African Americans having the lowest marriage rate of all racial groups (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011). Furthermore, when African Americans engage in marriage, they do so much later in life when compared with Caucasians (Dixon, 2009).

Previous research has indicated both positive and negative feelings about marriage in African American women (King, 1999; King & Allen, 2009). A quantitative study was conducted by King and Allen (2009) examining characteristics of ideal marriage partners for a total of 344 Black men and women. Participants were primarily single and in their 30s. Findings from the study indicated that female respondents were more likely than male respondents to emphasize the importance of education and financial status in potential marriage partners (King & Allen, 2009). Furthermore, the majority of participants preferred African American partners; however, about 45% indicated that race would not matter when choosing a partner (King & Allen, 2009). This finding suggests that income and socioeconomic status is important to some African Americans as it relates to the establishment of and stability of the family system.

Researchers have also suggested that differences in income between African American men and women may contribute to difficulties in finding a mate. A study conducted by Chaney and Marsh (2008) found that African American men may struggle with finding marital partners due to their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem related to making less money than their female counterparts. Chaney and Marsh (2008) suggested that this perspective regarding finances also contributes to men’s desire to cohabitate rather than committing to marriage. The authors noted this is due to the low level of confidence based on one’s perceived inability to provide for one’s family making African American men less likely to marry. Marks and colleagues (2008) interviewed 30 African American couples regarding marriage and have found that finances and work-related stress can serve as a source of stress for couples. However, couples in the research study also reported that financial stress can serve as a mechanism that supports couple cohesion and reinforces commitment to the family system. In this example, couples may find refuge in one another as they work together as team to combat financial issues and obtain financial goals. Other researchers have suggested that financial strain reduces marital satisfaction for African Americans (Bryant et al., 2008, 2010; Lincoln & Chae, 2010).

Although there has been a significant amount of research that has been conducted regarding problems within African American marital couples and a decline in marriage rates among African Americans, there has been less discussion about protective factors and successful African American marriages (Phillips et al., 2012). Research is needed to explore the experience of African American couples who have successful relationships. Learning about successful African American marriages may inform how individual male and females go about the process of mate selection. The way in which individual African Americans are currently thinking about relationships may contribute to the outcome. However, this would need to be examined in future research. Nevertheless, the current research adds another dimension to what could potentially help to inform what is known about the relationship dynamics of African American college females. In addition, studies are needed to explore the experiences of African American young adults’ desire to marry and characteristics of potential long-term partners.

Dating Relationships and Marriage in Young Adults

Empirical findings have suggested that millennials have different views toward dating relationships and marriage, when compared with older adult populations. In particular, some of the discussion has focused on young adults deciding to delay dating and marriage (Martin et al., 2014). Likewise, other discussions have centered on topics related to technology use within the context of dating relationships (LeFebvre, 2018) and millennials in the workplace (Queiri et al., 2014). However, there has been less discussion that includes a focus on contextual factors such as race/ethnicity and gender among young adults as it pertains to dating relationships.

Although there have been several researchers that have examined the attitudes and beliefs of dating relationships among African Americans over time, there has been less of a focus on the dating preferences and mate selection among young African American adult females. Ross (1997) conducted a study regarding attitudes toward dating among 236 female and 149 male African American college students and found that skin complexion, wealth, and level of attractiveness were significant factors. In particular, Ross (1997) found that

females were more likely than males: (a) to prefer to marry someone with more material wealth than themselves and (b) agree that having a good time and getting along with their mates are more important than the person being attractive. (p. 561)

Interestingly enough, males were more likely than females: (a) to prefer dating light-skinned persons, (b) to prefer marrying a person with light skin, and (c) to be more willing to marry a person from a lower social class than their own (p. 561). Additional research has suggested that familial background has a direct impact on dating attitudes and preferences for African Americans (Murty & Roebuck, 2015). For example, Murty and Roebuck (2015) conducted a study where they explored parental approval rates of interracial dating among African American college students (38% males and 62% females) that attended a Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU). In particular, the researchers found that African American college students from more urban areas receive higher rates of parental approval of interracial dating when compared with counterparts who are from more rural areas. Likewise, there has been some discussion about the correlation of family instability during early childhood with cynical attitudes regarding marriage among young African American (Simons et al., 2012).

Scholars have suggested that there is an imbalance among African American women when compared with African American men on college campuses which have implications on racial identity and mate selection (Henry, 2008, 2013; Watt, 2006). One study regarding mate selection among African American male and female college students and found that both genders seek financial stability, education, and someone that has a spiritual foundation (King & Allen, 2009). Other researchers have focused on the historical reasons for lower marriage rates in African Americans when compared with their White counterparts (Besharov & West, 2001). Additional research is needed to explore the contemporary attitudes and perceptions of young adult African American women. Furthermore, research regarding motivational factors, mate selection, and barriers to dating and marital relationships among African American young adult women is warranted.

Although previous studies have addressed the declining marriage rates, feelings about marriage, differences in income, delays in marriage, and changes in dating patterns in the African American community, few studies have specifically examined what African American young adult women look for in a partner. Having some insight regarding what African American young adult women look for may contribute to the scholarly literature and may inform what we know about the dating attitudes and behaviors among this population. The purpose of this study was to address the gap in the literature by examining African American young adult womens’ desires in potential long-term (possibly marriage) partners. The following research questions guided the study: (a) What are young adult African American women’s perceptions as it relates to long-term relationships and marriage? and (b) What qualities do African American young adult women desire in a long-term partner?

Method

Procedures

Permission to conduct the study was granted by the Institutional Review Board at the participating university, a HBCU located in the mid-Atlantic region of the United States. An HBCU was selected to collect data specifically because of the high enrollment of African American women. Participants for the study were recruited through behavioral and social science courses on campus with minimal extra credit being offered as incentive to participate (five points added to the lowest test score; tests were 150 points each).

Data for the study were collected in narrative format. Narrative research allows participants to tell the story about their experience (Miller, 2018). The narrative prompt included questions about the qualities participants desired in a partner and the decision-making process on transitioning from dating to pursuing a committed relationship with a potential partner. All students enrolled in the courses used for recruitment were allowed to complete a narrative assignment. Students not identifying as African American women were omitted from the data for the study. In addition, all participants were able to opt out of the study, however all students identifying as African American women between the ages of 18 and 35 years agreed to participate and allow their narrative to be included in the data. Upon receiving written narratives, identifying information was removed and pseudonyms were created for each participant.

Sample

A total of 35 participants were included in the current study (see Table 1). Participants for the study were between the ages of 19 and 32 years of age. All participants were college students attending an HBCU majoring in a variety of areas including fashion and merchandising, business, and child development. Participants were enrolled in courses related to human development and multicultural issues at the time of the study. Course material included such topics as relationships, marriage, cohabitation, parenting, and divorce as well as other areas related to marriage and families. The courses were a part of the general education sequence allowing enrollment for students from a variety of academic, family, and economic backgrounds.

Table 1.

Participants.

Name	Age (years)
Annika	23
Arianna	22
Brenda	21
Brooklyn	19
Cadence	20
Charity	20
Dana	32
Elizabeth	21
Ella	20
Fatima	23
Felicia	22
Gabrielle	19
Imani	22
Layla	22
Jaclyn	20
Jennifer	20
Kayla	19
Kiera	22
Lauren	23
London	23
Mia	22
Michelle	25
Nadia	20
Nicole	19
Portia	22
Rachelle	23
Robin	20
Sasha	19
Sierra	21
Sonia	22
Sydney	19
Tamera	21
Tracy	19
Yvonne	19
Zoe	22

Analysis

Analysis of the data began with the authors for the study independently examining the narratives multiple times. Themes and categories were identified through open coding. Rossman and Rallis (2003) describe themes and categories as “overlapping”; however, categories describe a segment of your data whereas a theme describes more subtle processes (p. 282). Emerging themes and categories were identified and organized into broad topics based on the frequency of responses by participants. The number of codes were reduced using fast mapping (Rossman & Rallis, 2003), a technique used to connect themes and categories to one another. Similar categories and themes were merged to form a final list of codes. Emerging codes from participant perceptions included family experience, personality traits, values, and physical attraction related to mate selection. The final coding scheme was applied for another round of analysis of the narratives. The following section provides a summary of the themes identified in the study.

Findings

The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond the surface (Imani, 20).

Selecting a Partner

When describing what was important in selecting a long-term mate, participants at times found it challenging to describe in words what they desired. Although many expressed that they wanted to eventually settle down in a long-term relationship, it was often difficult to determine what would be the right fit as it relates to a long-term potential marriage partner. As Zoe, age 22, indicated “When it comes to picking out a “mate” who you want to call your own can be very difficult. Sometimes you just don’t know what someone’s intentions are.” Gabrielle had similar thoughts:

It is very difficult to pinpoint exactly what you are looking for in a mate. You learn upon going on your first date that there are so many aspects of one’s character that you learn that you are attracted to or repelled by.

In contrast, Lauren, age 23, indicated instinct in selecting a partner, “I believe sometimes you have that gut feeling that the person is the one for you. It’s like at times you just know if that’s where you want to be.” Nevertheless, participants shared their personal stories about characteristics and qualities that were important in selecting a long-term partner. Family experience, personality traits, and values were noted most often by participants. Furthermore, physical attraction was not deemed as important by the majority of the participants in the current study.

Family Experience

Although childhood experiences and family members were not directly asked about in the study, the first finding that was evident related to the role of family members’ relationships. Several participants noted the romantic relationships of their mothers and grandmothers and the influence it had over their desires in a long-term marital partner. Others noted the absence of their biological father or strong male figure impacting their perceptions of a romantic relationship. Zoe provided a good example of the importance of family and parental relationships as it relates to seeking romantic relationships and how one views relationships, “I believe in relationships. I’m not just talking about boyfriend and girlfriend relationships; I am referring to relationships such as mother-daughter, father-son, and so on. Relationships are very important to me.” The impact of forming relationships throughout childhood was evident as children generally obtain values about relationships through their experiences.

Brooklyn, the only participant who openly identified as heterosexual (this was not a part of any question or demographics), described her experiences growing up in a traditional heterosexual two-parent household and the implications family structure had on her expectations for a mate. She also explained what she does not want in a long-term mate based on observations of her grandfather’s value system as it pertains for relationships:

I am a heterosexual African American female and I grew up in a heterosexual household where my father was the head of house and he fit all of the stereotypes of a husband and my mother mostly fit the stereotypes of a wife and mother. The environment where you grow up in has a great influence on your mindset because what you grow up with is all you know until you come in contact with something that contradicts those principles. In my case, when it comes to a partner, I unintentionally look for the same qualities that I have found in the father figure who happens to be my father. However, I resent men who resemble my grandfather because he is still stuck in his ways where women belong in the kitchen and have to cater to the man.

Arianna, age 22, shared her childhood experience and the connection to her desires in a spouse or long-term partner. Arianna’s story suggests a strong connection in the role of family members and the example they provide for healthy or unhealthy relationships. Furthermore, because of the absence of her parents she also took on the role as caregiver for siblings at an early age:

My grandmother raised me, my mother was absent, and I have no clue who my father is, so the feeling of neglect was high for me. I was raised to be a caretaker early because I was the oldest . . . I personally don’t like the feeling of neglect because my biggest down fall is looking to my spouse to protect and love me more because I never had a father, or father figure to teach me aspects, and what not to deal with in a male. Not having a father figure left me with jumping into relations with males not knowing if one cares about me as much as I do him.

In contrast Jacklyn, age 20, had a strong father throughout her life. Her father’s character directly influenced her desires in a relationship,

I would seek a person that has the same ethics as my father. He would be employed, independent, family oriented, grounded spiritually, own a car and must be a good provider. Most importantly he must possess the desire to achieve.

The role of father’s or strong male role models was present in many participants, stressing the importance of childhood experiences in mate selection.

Mothers and female role models were also noted by participants as influencing their choices in relationships. London expressed how her childhood experiences with the women in her family influenced what she looks for in a long-term marriage partner. Rather than stating what she desired in a partner, she addressed the qualities she did not want based on what she experienced as a child within her family:

Most of the women in my family have chosen mates that were the exact opposite of them. Where the women in my family were strong minded and full of pride, the men on were not. While their partners were selfish and disrespectful, I am going to have the opposite. What I did not realize at the time was their relationships were a generational thing . . . I was accustomed to seeing the man be a dependent and the woman carrying everything on her own. I cannot remember it being any other way in my family. I came from a long line of women that catered to men. I do not know how long it has been that way, but it is what I came to understand as “normal.”

Family implications were noted with potential partners parental relationships, specifically with their mothers. Several participants noted that the influence of a long-term partners relationship with his or her mother was a defining point in establishing a romantic connection. Cadence, age 20, said it in this way “Most males who have a good relationship with their mothers are usually more affectionate and loyal to you because they treat you how they would like someone to treat their mothers, or any female in their family.”

Personality Traits

Participants for the study defined several areas related to personality as desirable in a potential long-term or marriage partner. Specifically, participants identified having a sense of humor, being “outgoing,” being responsible and mature, and honesty, trust, and faithfulness as the most desirable personality characteristics. Imani described it in this way:

As we get to know the people we date, these are invaluable traits to both look for in them and to strive for in ourselves. These ideal attributes include: maturity, openness, honesty and integrity, empathy, respect, affection, a sense of humor, and an education. You do not have to be perfect but as long as you have most of these things it is possible, we can grow old together.

The majority of participants indicated that trust was a major factor in determining if someone was a good potential long-term partner. Dana, the oldest participant in the study, connected trust to various characteristics desired in a partner:

The power of trust is inclusive of being reliable, good, and honest. If I cannot trust you as my mate it makes no sense being in a relationship with you. In addition, my mate should be spiritual, loves to cook, flexible, successful, independent, fun, funny, playful, family oriented and should portray similar values and goals as mine.

London had similar thoughts while addressing the need for a partner who is a provider. She addressed not wanting to struggle, specifically addressing her desires even in her childhood of her expectations for a relationship. In her written narrative, she also noted previous relationships with men who were unable to hold long-term and consistent employment:

For me, my partner was going to show me respect and love me unconditionally. He also needed to be strong and more importantly be a provider. If it was one thing that I learned early on, it would be a real man would not stand by and watch a woman struggle. I have always been a believer in the ‘if I got you then you got me’ system. I had planned from about age ten that our household was going to be strong and it was going to happen that way with the both of us doing it together.

Some participants were not as selective in personality traits, but valued happiness as it related to a potential long-term partner. Furthermore, many had created a “timeline” for marriage, even as young adults. Considering current statistics of African American women marriage rates, it is not surprising that some of the participants had the goal of getting married within years of their current age. Rachelle, age 23, spoke extensively on what factors are important in mate selection and wanting to be married by a certain age:

I’m not really a female who has a certain type when it comes to males, I just want to be with someone who makes me happy and respects me for the person I am . . . I’m 23 now I think that at this age I should be with someone I consider spending some years with as I would love to be married by the time I’m 30.

One factor that appears to be unique to this sample of African American young adult women was the specific desire for a partner who had a “sense of pride” in their identity. This was addressed through references to language, clothing, and professional behavior. For some participants, this was important as they were on track to become professionals in various fields of study. Several participants described wanting a partner who dressed in clothing that fit them appropriately, spoke proper English, and overall knew how to conduct themselves in a professional manner.

Annika explained the “professional” characteristics she wanted in a partner in a way that addressed behavior, education, and wanting a nice life, “I do not date guys that have the street mentality because they are constantly looking over their shoulders and think that the cops are after them. He has to have education and want the finer things in life.” Layla had a similar description of wanting a potential partner who could “conduct themselves” in public, have an “intelligent conversation,” and be themselves in all settings, “I do not like when a person feels they have to act a certain way around certain people. I like a person who can be themselves around any group of people and is still comfortable.” She added, that if a person was missing even one of those qualities she would “lose interest quickly” and not view them as someone with “long-term potential.”

Robin, an aspiring attorney, had an experience with a former partner who used “Ebonics,” also referred to as Black English, which is often associated with slang terms (Belgrave & Allison, 2019). Robin went on to describe the value of acquiring a college education and how that directly influences her choice in a partner:

In the future, I will be an attorney who will be surrounded by professionals on a daily basis, so my partner must be able to act professionally. I have dated a guy that was completely unprofessional. At restaurants, he would order his food using only Ebonics, which was very embarrassing to me. I have had a partner who was bothered by how much I spoke about and valued by college education. He would rather talk about Ralph Lauren, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton, which did not interest me at all. Whenever I mention school, he would change the subject or blatantly tune me out. This was upsetting to me because right now, attending college is the greatest achievement I have made.

Personality traits were overall the most cited factor for a potential mate by the participants in this study. Wanting a partner who would be a “good fit” in personality and lifestyle was extremely important. Further it worth noting that humor and trust were cited most often among participants as determining factors for a long-term partner.

Values

Education, finances, desires for a family, religion, and goals were addressed in the value system of participants in the study. The vast majority of participants desired a partner who had a similar values system. This included homeownership and educational goals as well as respect for himself, his partner, and their families and community. Felicia, a 22-year-old participant, indicated how respect was an important value for her in a partner, “respect for himself, as well as for me is a requirement of any partner of mine. If the man doesn’t care about his own well-being, future, or life, there is no way I will be with him.” Likewise, Michelle focused on finding a partner who would be like a teammate and supporter. Her description centered around dreams and motivation:

I want someone who I can be comfortable around to share my dreams to. I want someone who motivates me when I just feel like giving in and I do the same for them in return. There’s nothing link having someone on your team that is as passionate and has that “go for it” type of attitude.

Having a partner that shared similar religious convictions was cited by many of the participants. Religion varied in description, however most included the importance of similar religious values. Jennifer shared her thoughts on the connection between religion with courtship and marriage:

I am a Christian, so the qualities that I look for in a partner are to see whether or not the guy is saved and is true man of God . . . When I court or date a man, the main goal within the relationship is to get married one day if the Lord allows. Prior to getting in a relationship we have to agree and ask each other if we both want to get married, why we want to get married, how does God view a courtship, and how we will stay pure until we get married.

Gabrielle, age 19, also noted faith and a relationship with God as an important factor in selecting a long-term partner. She connected other character traits as part of her ideal partner:

In a partner, the first quality I look for is faith and relationship with God. I value one with goals, has a good spirit, kind hearted, humorous, free- spirited, athletic, wits, quick thinker, adaptable in all aspects, and attractive. I love individuals that love spending time with their family, music, dancing, shopping, and traveling. I have encountered so many individuals that have some or a few of these qualities.

Sasha had a similar experience, providing a detailed description of a previous relationship that was not ideal. She describes here growth and maturity at faster pace than her partner and the implications that experience had on her desires in a partner:

I was in a three year relationship with someone I thought I would be with forever. I thought we were growing together but I seem to be moving a little faster. I told myself that I could wait for him to grow up and mature but each day it became harder and harder. I told him how I was feeling and he said he would change but I believe in not changing anyone everyone moves at his or her own pace. I stayed with him for another 3 months and nothing changed. If I feel as though someone is holding me back then I cannot be with them.

Ultimately, participants had ideas for what values were most important in selecting long-term partners. In addition, several participants noted what they would not find as acceptable for a long-term partner. Infidelity, dishonesty, unemployment, and lack of pride were identified by many of the participants as characteristics that were not desired.

Physical Attraction

It is worth noting that while physical attraction did appear in the data, most participants had no specific desires in physical characteristics. Brenda was one of the few exceptions that noted what was ideal physically in a partner, “I want an athlete. I like a guy who is physically fit and takes good care of themselves.” Brenda did not indicate why physical appearance was an important factor in selecting a long-term mate. Sierra explained the importance of attractiveness, defined as presentable, in a long-term partner:

Primarily I look for someone who is attractive. I am often attracted by nice smiles and good looks. I like my partner to be well groomed, with a presentable dress style. Although looks aren’t everything, presentation is a major impression and reflection of one’s self.

In contrast, 20-year-old Nadia was representative of most of the women in the study. Physical appearance was not as important as other characteristics such as personality and values:

The qualities that I look for in a partner are internal, meaning that I appreciate what’s in the inside more than what is on the outside. I appreciate a man’s personality, sense of humor, and religious beliefs. A personality of a man is most important because although they are handsome, they could be the complete opposite in the inside.

Regarding physical attraction, though often viewed as important in long-term relationships, participants in this study did not report valuing this characteristic as much as personality traits and values. This may be related to the population in which the study occurred. This finding could have implications for further research on mate selection in African American women.

Discussion

The purpose of this study was to examine African American young adult women desires in potential long-term partners. Deciding what characteristics are most important during the search for love and commitment is a personal choice. For African Americans, the task can be challenging as researchers continue to report a decline in the overall marriage rate of African Americans (Belgrave & Allison, 2019) in recent decades. In addition, African Americans have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011) and there continues to be a decline in marriage within the African American community as compared with African Americans in previous generations (Belgrave & Allison, 2019). Although research has focused on the historical reasons of lower marriage rates of African Americans when compared with their White counterparts (Besharov & West, 2001), the current study focused on African American young adult women and their desires in long-term partners as previous research has indicated both positive and negative feelings about marriage in African American women (King, 1999; King & Allen, 2009).

Research has suggested that familial background has a direct impact on dating attitudes and preferences, including geographic location for African Americans (Murty & Roebuck, 2015). Furthermore, there has been discussion regarding the correlation of family instability in early childhood and cynical attitudes regarding marriage among young African Americans (Simons et al., 2012). The current study sheds new light on the value of early experiences with family relationships and the influence of those experiences on characteristics desired in a long-term partner among this population.

Many participants recalled observing the relationships of their mothers, grandmothers, and other significant female relatives and role models throughout their childhood. The experiences of female relatives were often described as negative, with participants noting that women were “responsible” in maintaining the relationship. Furthermore, the male partner was described by several participants as not carrying their “weight” in household duties, financial responsibilities, and parenting practices. It is also worth noting that participants citied absentee fathers as influencing their mate selection process. Generally, the mention of an absentee father was associated with unpleasant and unwanted characteristics in a long-term partner.

In a study by King and Allen (2009) examining characteristics of ideal marriage partners in African American men and women, female respondents were more likely than male respondents to emphasize the importance of education and financial status in potential marriage partners. Furthermore, Chaney and Marsh (2008) suggested that differences in income between African American men and women may contribute to difficulties in finding a mate, with men indicating a struggle with selecting potential marital partners due to their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem related to making less money than females. The current study had similar findings with participants indicating the importance of education and financial status in potential long-term partners. These values were cited by the majority of the participants with many wanting someone who was similar to them in educational level. It is worth noting that the sample for the current study were young adult women who were enrolled in college, while the King and Allen study had a blended sample with varying educational backgrounds. King and Allen (2009) also found that the majority of participants in their study preferred African American partners, with about 40% not having a preference. The current study did not find any racial preferences in selecting long-term partners.

Finally, previous research (Ross, 1997) found that skin complexion and level of attractiveness were significant factors in potential partners in an African American sample. In contrast, findings from the current study suggest that the majority of participants did not cite physical appearance and attraction as an important trait in a long-term partner. Personality traits and values were described as most important overshadowing physical attractiveness. Participants indicated characteristics such as humor, trust, religious practices, honesty, and ambition as more important than physical attributes. Furthermore, pride in one’s identity and professionalism were also desired in potential long-term partners.

The findings from this study suggests that the period of emerging adulthood is a pivotal time during the development of African American women, specifically when considering decisions regarding dating and long-term committed relationships. In particular, the research has relevance when considering how family scholars, educators, and consultants, can best serve African American women, who may be looking to shift from casual dating to long-term coupling or perhaps marriage. The data may be used to assist African American women in learning more about themselves, and their unique experiences on college campuses. Furthermore, the findings could be used to develop programming that could be offered on campus through student counseling centers or through relevant student organizations A relationships expert may be able to use the information to develop resources on college campuses that specifically target African American women, that focus on African American female empowerment, that also validate one’s experiences. One of the benefits of working with a relationship’s expert, may be in the expert’s ability to facilitate in-depth discussions about wants, needs, and desires, that may be difficult for African American women to voice alone.

Although the current study suggests relevance for African American women, the research also has implications for African American men and other men who may consider developing dating relationships with this population. Black men in particular, may find the data useful as they approach dating relationships. Although some African American men may have assumptions about dating African American women, the results can be used to further inform dating. One might argue that if African American men want to date African American women, they need to have a better sense to how African American women view relationships. Furthermore, a relationship coach or marriage and family therapist, may be able to work with couples who may be struggling to maintain their relationships, by incorporating data found in the study to enhance relationships. The authors recommend that the data be used to help further the conversation about dating relationships among African American women, men, and families, as well as, emerging adults across all race and ethnic backgrounds.

This study is helpful in understanding African American young adult women’s perceptions of long-term partners, however several limitations should be noted. First, the study took place in an HBCU setting. Although this was helpful in recruiting African American young adult women, the sample was limited to those who were pursuing a college degree. Including young adult women who are not pursing higher education, who are college bound, or who are single mothers may have influenced the findings from the study. Furthermore, because of the narrative format of data collection, clarification on responses could not be addressed. For example, several participants noted the importance and value of education, however we were unable to seek clarity on their definitions of education and what was included such as trade school, higher education, or other options. In addition, demographic information regarding family household composition was not included in data collection. That information may have been helpful with the findings associated with family experiences. Another limitation of the study would be in the lack of generalizability of the research findings. Qualitative research is not focused on generalizability, but including a quantitative dimension to the study could have provided some additional data that could be used to better understand the phenomenon of mate selection for college African American women.

Future Research

The results from the study provide a great foundation for future research. When considering the limitations, there are a variety of ways to expand the current scholarship. One way to expand upon the research is to consider the development of future qualitative, quantitative, and mixed methodological examinations. For example, the themes that emerged from the current study could be used to develop a follow-up study that would include collecting quantitative data among African American women in college. In particular, this might include collecting data on African American women at various HBCU to see if the quantitative data confirms the results of the current study. In addition, it might be interesting to consider ways to compare African American female college students at HBCUs to African American female college students at Predominately White Institutions (PWIs). Students may have different experiences it may be interesting to compare and contrast across types of academic institutions to include public and private schools. Further expanding beyond African American female college students and expanding to African American males may enhance the findings of future studies. Such a quantitative study could show differences and/or similarities that may be important as one considers mate selection and the formation of couple relationships.

Furthermore, through quantitative research methods, future studies should consider other areas such as how themes may influence or even predict dissatisfaction, dissolution, or general conflict within relationships.

It is important to continue to explore experiences, attitudes, and perspectives of African American women. Furthermore, consideration should be given to a more inclusive sample of African American women related to education, income, and family household composition. Although the current study focused on developmental years of emerging adult females, consideration should be given to exploring how other African American women approach dating and relationships. Obtaining similar data from older adults, may provide a larger context by which to examine relationships over time. It is equally important to explore dating relationship experiences among same sex, interracial, and other diverse populations of couples. Given that a significant number of attitudes and beliefs about dating are formulated during childhood socialization and rearing, it would be interesting to learn about what African American women are taught as children specifically related to dating (including what they are told to look for in a mate).

In addition, while this study was focused on African American women’s attitudes and perceptions of dating and long-term relationships, in a future study it would also be interesting to gain insight regarding what characteristics and personality traits the sample deem to be important when considering procreation. One might assume that the characteristics that African American women look for in a dating or long-term committed relationship are the same when considering the selection of a partner to have children with. However, this is something that would need to be further examined. In addition, how African American women define fatherhood and successful fatherhood among African American men (Moore et al., 2018) and other men in general may have implications on relationships, parenting, and family dynamics over time.

To provide a more comprehensive analysis of the phenomenon, it would be interesting to explore gender differences by duplicating the study utilizing a sample of African American men. Likewise, it would be interesting to see if the results to the study are similar or different as one considers clinical and educational implications for men when compared with women. Other contextual factors that might be important to include in future research are race/ethnicity, religion, and geographic location. In the existing study, the sample was selected from a Historically Black College. Conducting a study of African American young adult women who are beyond the college years may be worth examining. Expanding this research may also include exploring this topic among African American women in various geographic locations and exploring the lived experiences of other women of color beyond African Americans, among other topics.

Footnotes

Authors’ Note

Jada E. Brooks is now affiliated with Virginia State University, Petersburg, VA, USA.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The authors received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Jada E. Brooks

Author Biographies

Jada E. Brooks is an associate professor of Family and Consumer Sciences at Virginia State University. Her research interests include African American families, Historically Black Colleges and Universities, health and wellness, spirituality/religion, and retention and academic persistence of college students. She is graduate of Virginia State University and Virginia Tech.

Darren D. Moore is an associate professor and the director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Touro University Worldwide, which is part of the Touro University System. His areas of research include obesity, weight loss, eating disorders, within individual, couple, and family relationships, men in therapy, and African American couples and families.

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