Exploring Factors That Helped Adolescents Adjust and Continue With Life After the Death of a Parent

Abstract

The aim of this study was to explore factors that helped adolescents to adjust and continue with life after the death of a parent. A qualitative research design was utilized, in which 12 participants participated in semistructured interviews. Data were analyzed according to thematic analysis. The following categories and themes emerged from the data: family support—supportive remaining parent, parent has a supportive partner and supportive extended family; social support—child has supportive friends and supportive community; religion––religion as a coping mechanism and religion as means of communicating with the deceased parent; and a strong personal sense of coherence (the ability to relate to and make sense of the world) as an intrapersonal coping mechanism. In addition, the following themes also emerged: exercising, allowing time to prepare for the death of a terminally ill parent, tangible reminders of the deceased, and journal writing. The findings can be used to design interventions for adolescents whose parent has passed away.

Keywords

death parent adjustment adolescent

The loss of a parent, irrespective of the cause of death, is a traumatic experience for any person (McClatchey & Wimmer, 2014). However, bereaved adolescents have a special vulnerability to loss due to major social and biological changes that take place in their transition from childhood to adulthood (Balk & Corr, 2009; Servaty-Seib & Haysip, 2003). Although some authors regard adolescents to be resilient and likely to have a mature understanding of death (Ringler & Hayden, 2000), the majority of findings indicate that adolescents who have lost a parent have difficulty coming to terms with the fact that a parent has died (Servaty-Seib & Haysip, 2003).

Moreover, epidemiological evidence indicates a greater incidence of problems among adolescents who have experienced a significant loss than among those who have not experienced a significant loss. Long-term effects include the increased likelihood of medical illness, psychiatric illness, and suicidal risk as adults (Balk & Corr, 2009; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013). According to Servaty-Seib and Haysip (2003), it is important to help adolescents cope with grief, for instance, through acquiring self-help skills and utilizing social support (e.g., support from a parent, relatives, and friends). To prevent these negative outcomes, mitigating factors need to be identified.

Balk and Corr (2009) define the beginning of adolescence as the start of puberty and distinguish three distinct developmental stages, each with its own issues and challenges. The first stage is called early adolescence and is known as the time from puberty through to 14 years old, mainly the phase in which adolescents attend primary school. The second stage, known as middle adolescence, stretches from 15 to 17 years old, primarily the high school years. This developmental phase accentuates the developmental problems of intimacy and individuality. These issues often are still present during the third stage (late adolescence), during which the adolescent moves on to a more independent level, such as starting to work or undertaking tertiary studies. The third stage typically ends when the adolescent reaches adulthood. The transition from late adolescence to adulthood typically starts at the age of 18 and ends at the age of 24 (Balk & Corr, 2009).

Adolescence is a time during which young people experience various developmental tasks that allow them to shape their identity, distinguish themselves from their family members, and establish themselves as individuals in a particular peer group. These processes are influenced by, or may influence, the way an adolescent experiences coping with the death of a parent and may have implications for an adolescent’s development and future life.

When an adolescent loses a parent, the issues and challenges distinct to each phase may become adverse. More specifically, the adolescent may become either stagnated in one phase, or issues or tasks known to a phase may remain unresolved and resurface during adulthood (Balk & Corr, 2009; Sugarman, 2014; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013). It, therefore, is essential to know how to support a bereaved adolescent, as various studies indicate a higher incidence of psychological problems in adolescents who have lost a parent than in those who have not lost a parent (Balk & Corr, 2009; Servaty-Seib & Haysip, 2003).

Two prominent themes that help adolescents adjust arose from the literature. These are the importance of social support (Benkel et al., 2009; LaFreniere & Cain, 2015a; Ringler & Hayden, 2000; Walker & Shaffer, 2007) during bereavement, and the role of the remaining parent (Balk & Corr, 2009; Benkel et al., 2009; Stokes, 2014; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013). Other resources that were reported are remaining in an on-going relationship with the deceased (Balk & Corr, 2009), the use of physical prompts (Balk & Corr, 2009; McKissock & McKissock, 2006), attending a grief camp (McClatchey & Wimmer, 2014), and spirituality (Pargament et al., 2004).

Support systems and coping strategies are important in helping an adolescent to adapt and continue with life after losing a parent. An understanding of factors that have an effect on an adolescent’s coping with bereavement is important for families, effective nursing practice, school health services, and parents (Servaty-Seib & Haysip, 2003). Adolescents most often prefer sustained emotional support that comprises talking, listening, and feeling understood. In addition, 40% of adolescents want on-going structural support (Ringler & Hayden, 2000). Although the bereavement process of adolescents has been noted in various studies, only a few empirical studies have considered the role of helpful resources in assisting adolescent recovery after the death of a parent (LaFreniere & Cain, 2015b; McClatchey & Wimmer, 2014; Sugarman, 2014). Consequently, the aim of this study was to further our understanding of adolescents’ resources that assist them to adjust and continue with life after the death of a parent.

Method

A qualitative research strategy was applied to gain an in-depth understanding of adolescents’ lived experiences of what helped them to adapt and continue with life after the death of a parent.

Participants

Young adults were included in the study if they were between the ages of 22 and 28, and they (as an adolescent) had lost a parent between 5 and 10 years previously. These two criteria were used, assuming that, after a number of years have passed, the participants would have reached a greater level of independence and ability to reflect on resources and helping factors that assisted them during their process of adjustment after the death of a parent.

A snowball sampling technique was used. Since I (first author) live in a student town, I had relatively easy access to many young people. Thus, during this nonprobability convenience sampling process, I asked the first two participants, who were known to me, to recruit further participants from among their acquaintances. Twelve people were interviewed before data saturation occurred (Burr et al., 2012).

All the participants were unmarried, white university students coming from middle-class families that live in the Western Cape province, South Africa. Their ages ranged from 19 to 26 years, and nine were women and three were men. Ten of the twelve participants had lost a father and two had lost a mother. All the participants had siblings. However, one participant indicated that his stepbrothers and stepsisters were significantly older and had already established their own families and lives.

Semistructured Interview

Data were collected via a semistructured interview. A participant was asked two broad questions, namely What was your experience of the death of your parent? and, In your experience, what helped you to adapt and continue with life after the death of your parent? In addition to these two questions, the following probing questions were used to enable a deeper discussion of relevant themes: (a) Can you please elaborate on that? (b) Can you please tell me more about that? (c) What was your experience of that? and (d) How did that make you feel?

The semistructured interview allowed me (first author) to have an attentive conversation with the participant and, at the same time, to receive relevant information regarding the research question (Bryman & Bell, 2011).

Procedure and Ethical Considerations

Once ethical clearance was received from the University’s Research Ethics Committee, the data collection procedure started. Each of the identified participants was contacted by phone or visited at home to make an appointment. During the visit, participants were informed about the aims and objectives of the study. Confidentiality and anonymity of the participants were re-emphasized. After the participants agreed to participate in this study, they were asked to sign a consent form. The data collection started with the completion of a short biographical questionnaire, after which permission was requested to record the interview digitally.

The interview began when I asked the participant the first broad question (with probing questions when necessary), followed by the other broad question (again, with probing questions where necessary), to gain information regarding the research topic. Probing questions enabled a deeper discussion of relevant themes. When the interview was over, the participants were informed that they could obtain feedback on the study’s findings. I then thanked the participants for their participation, and the conversation was terminated.

Data Analysis

The first step was to transcribe the interviews. I immersed myself in the data and thoroughly checked the correctness of the transcriptions, ensuring that the tone and integrity of the recordings were maintained (Guest, 2012). Data analysis was conducted by implementing Braun and Clarke’s (2006) six phases of thematic analysis.

In Phase 1, I familiarized myself with the data set and transcribed the interviews into written form while listening to the audio recordings of the interviews. The transcripts were then read and reread to determine initial themes. In addition, the transcripts were checked and compared with the original audio recordings for accuracy. In the second phase, initial codes were formulated from the data, using open coding. This process entailed generating the initial codes by documenting where and how patterns occurred. This happened through data reduction, during which I collapsed the data into labels in order to create subthemes for more efficient analysis. Data compilation was also completed in this phase. This involved that I drew inferences from what the codes mean. In Phase 3, the focus was on searching for categories and analyzing these categories more broadly. Different codes were categorized into possible categories, and all the relevant coded data extracts were organized into these identified categories. Codes were then sorted into a collection of five categories: Family support, Social support, Religion, Strong sense of coherence (as an intra-personal coping mechanism), and Other (nonspecific coping mechanisms that helped with adjusting after the death of a parent).

In Phase 4, the categories were reviewed and then refined by adding themes to the categories. For example: The category Family support was broken down into three themes—Supportive remaining parent, The remaining parent has a supportive partner, and Extended family support. The theme The remaining parent has a supportive partner was further broken down into two subthemes: The partner supports the parent and The long-term partner offers companionship to the remaining parent (this puts the participant at ease). The same process was followed for the other categories (with accompanying themes and sub-themes). Excerpts were extracted for each category and organized coherently, with accompanying narratives that characterize the Results and Discussion section.

In the fifth phase, each category was defined. This process entailed capturing certain aspects of the data. The chosen categories were then refined and rewritten in a few sentences. The sixth phase comprised the writing of the research report. We, as authors, made decisions about meaningful categories that contributed to understanding what is going on within the data. Finally, we conducted a procedure called “member checking” to increase the credibility and validity of this study.

Results and Discussion

The findings are reported and discussed in categories, themes, and subthemes, as illustrated in Table 1. Verbatim quotes are given as examples of how the participants expressed themselves.

Table 1.

Categories, Themes and Subthemes That Emerged as Resources During the Analyses.

Category	Themes and subthemes
Family support	• Supportive remaining parent
	• Remaining parent has a supportive partner
	○ The partner supports the child
	○ The long-term partner offers companionship to the remaining parent (this puts child at ease)
	• Supportive extended family
Social support	• Child has supportive friends
	○ Friends offer emotional support to child
	○ Friends distract child from circumstances
	• Supportive community
Religion	• Religion as a coping mechanism
Religion	• Religion as a means of communicating with deceased parent
Sense of coherence as a resource
Other nonspecific resources that aid in adjustment	• Exercising
	• Allowing time to prepare for the death of a terminally ill parent
	• Tangible reminders of the deceased
	• Journal writing as coping mechanism

Family Support (First Category)

Family support emerged as a dominant resource during the majority of the interviews. In relation to family support, three themes were highlighted the most by the participants: the role of a supportive remaining parent, the remaining parent has a partner who is supportive towards both the parent and the child, and finally, the value of extended family members.

Supportive Remaining Parent

More than half of the participants in this study said that having a supportive remaining parent contributed fundamentally to his or her adjustment and recovery after losing a parent. Different aspects of support were reported. A compassionate remaining parent attended to the adolescent’s needs, especially when they had an honest and open relationship. Effective communication between the parent and child emerged as an essential relationship quality.

In his description of the role of the remaining parent, William (one of the participants) accentuated the value of his mother’s unconditional love for him and described the admiration he has for her as a person. He defined her as his most valuable source of support during the adjustment process after his father’s death.

There was me and my mom at that stage, because I don’t have any other siblings. And I was, like … we are going to do this together and she is the most powerful woman and she is amazing. I mean, … if it wasn’t for her, I would not be here today. She accepts me unconditionally.

David, another participant, described the way his father supported him and his sister after his mother’s death. David particularly highlighted the significance of the open and comfortable relationship between his father and them.

So now when I think back about how I survived, there is no doubt that my biggest coping mechanism at that stage, and up to and even now, is my father.

Finally, Wendy preferred not to talk about her father’s death and considered her mother as understanding with regard to her decision not to discuss her emotions.

There definitely was a lot of understanding. My mother allowed me to handle it as I wanted to handle it. My mother never forced me to do anything. Because she knows that I run away, she let me [go]. If I asked her that I wanted to go, she never stopped me.

The participants in this study reported the value of a supportive remaining parent. These facets include having an authentic relationship with the remaining parent. The authenticity of this relationship entailed being able to communicate effectively, thus being able to share feelings and thoughts about the loss, as well as being comfortable enough to tell a parent they did not wish to speak about these emotions. The majority of the participants also indicated the significance of the compassion and love they experienced and received from their remaining parent. The emotional support, combined with effective communication, enabled the participants to adjust and continue with life after the death of a parent. These findings are consistent with those of Brotman et al. (2003) and Saldinger et al. (2004), who similarly found that one of the main factors facilitating adolescents’ mental health and psychological adjustment to parental loss is the attendance of a compassionate and supportive remaining parent. Such parenting provides the adolescent with emotional support, allowing the adolescent to express conflicting thoughts, feelings, and fears (Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013).

However, emotional support may be best achieved with emotional language (e.g., through emotional facial expression, crying, art, etc.). Emotional language enables an emotional bond through which emotional support can be provided and received. When the remaining parent and adolescent share the same emotional language, they will be able to talk to each other about loss. It is important that the adolescent and parent communicate effectively, as this will provide a buffer against suppressed emotions and long-term trauma (Stokes, 2014; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013). Therefore, the remaining parent plays an essential role in the adolescent’s ability to adjust and continue with life after losing a parent.

The Remaining Parent Has a Supportive Partner

Participants whose remaining parent had remarried, or committed to a long-term partner, often spoke about the dual role this partner fulfilled in supporting his or her family. One aspect entailed the relationship of the participant with the parent’s partner. Participants who had a friendship with, and sense of mutual respect toward, the parent’s partner often described the relationship as supportive and satisfying. The other aspect concerns the way the partner supports the remaining parent. More specifically, participants mentioned feeling comforted by the fact that their parent was not alone and was being supported by the partner. Both components contributed positively to the participant’s adjustment after the death of his or her parent.

The Partner Offers Support to the Child

It is evident from the data that a few participants had a strong relationship with the remaining parent’s partner. In some cases, the remaining parent had been separated from the participant’s deceased parent before his or her death. In other cases, the remaining parent had remarried or committed to a partner after the death of his or her previous spouse. In both instances, it contributed positively to the participant’s adjustment process when the remaining parent’s partner was supportive of the whole family system. In addition, the majority of participants described their relationship with the partner as a friendship rather than a parent–child relationship. In Shaun’s case, something as simple as having mutual interests connected him with his mother’s partner.

[My stepdad], he’s always there and he like, he taught me how to hitch a trailer. All those things you need to know from a man, manly stuff … we always had a bond … We can talk about technology or computers. And I’ll tell him, did you see this new thing. And he’d say yes. We’re definitely friends as well.

David described the way his father’s partner helped them with more practical adjustments, such as regaining structure within the family system. For example, his father’s partner made dinner, which they ate at the dining table as a family. She also helped David’s sister with certain skills, such as dressing appropriately and being feminine.

So, my father’s current wife came to give us direction and helped a lot, such as with small things. She cooked us food in the evenings and we sat together at the dining table and enjoyed it. I also know that she helped my sister a lot, a real lot, such as with simple things like clothing styles, what is socially acceptable. [. . .] and yes, she is almost like a friend to us. We have a very comfortable, friendship type of relationship, but at the same time great respect for each other.

It appears from the interviews that the participants who had a strong relationship with the remaining parent’s partner viewed the relationship as a friendship. The majority of participants indicated that, even though the parent’s partner could never replace the role of his or her deceased parent, the participant respected the partner and valued their friendship. Fine et al. (2000) also established that, in cases where the stepparent shared the same views as the child or adolescent on the role of the stepparent as friend, more cohesive interpersonal adjustment was more likely to take place in stepfamilies. This contradicts the viewpoint that the remaining parent’s partner should fulfil an authoritative role toward the stepchild (Fine et al., 2000).

The Long-Term Partner Offers Companionship to the Remaining Parent

Most of the participants reported feeling reassured by the fact that his or her remaining parent had a supportive and compassionate partner. This feeling of security centered on knowing that his or her parent would not grow old alone. Three participants described the important role their stepfathers played in supporting their mothers after their fathers died.

It helps a lot, and like you worry less, because, I mean, you don’t want your parent to grow old alone. So, I can’t, yes, I would much, much, much rather prefer that she has someone … than grow old alone. (Margo)

Participants valued having a supportive stepparent taking care of his or her remaining parent, who could support him or her in their own grief-related needs and with whom he or she could grow old. In fact, participants described the remaining parent as better fulfilling the parental role when he or she had his or her own source of support. Kalter et al. (2002) indicate that parental adjustment is one of the best predictors of child or adolescent adjustment after the death of a spouse and having a supportive partner or spouse is one of the most important predictors of the parent’s health and wellbeing (Frey & Stutzer, 2006). In addition, it will help the adolescent to adjust, as well as promote his or her chances of better health and wellbeing later in life (Stokes, 2014; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2013).

Supportive Extended Family

The analyses show that the extended family helped the participants to a large extent to cope after losing a parent. The support ranged from practical support, such as transportation to school or sport activities, to emotional support, such as fulfilling a temporary “parental role.”

We had a strong support system where my dad’s cousin and his wife are our godparents. So, we were staying with them at the time … that support structure was there. My aunt was there; my gran was there, so, I think, without me noticing, there was a lot of, like, “moms” in my life. (Jane)

During challenging times like these, family members often need support from extended family members (Price et al., 2010). One way in which members of the extended family can offer help is by providing support to the child when his or her parent needs to attend to work-related obligations. According to Price et al. (2010), grandparents often fulfil a supportive role with regard to taking care of their grandchildren, and their reasons for doing so differ from context to context.

Social Support (Second Category)

Social support emerged as an important resource in the majority of interviews. More than half of the participants spoke about the positive influence social support had on their adjustment after the death of a parent. Friends offering a distraction from the participant’s difficult circumstances emerged as an important form of social support. Above and beyond friends’ roles as distraction, participants also reported that friends played a significant role in terms of emotional support. Another form of social support that emerged was support from community members, in particular congregational support, supportive teachers and coaches, as well as neighbors and acquaintances.

Support From Friends

From the interviews, it appeared that friendships fulfilled a two-fold purpose with regard to supporting parentally bereaved adolescents. On the one hand, activities, vacations, and social events distracted the participants from their difficult circumstances at home. On the other hand, friends fulfilled an emotional role that allowed the participants to be able to recuperate emotionally and mourn their parent.

Friends Offering a Distraction From Circumstances

Participants who had lost a parent at the age of 12 to 15 explained that friends did not understand how to behave toward them emotionally after the death of their parent. More specifically, the participants’ friends at that age functioned more as a distraction from current circumstances. The participants described going away with friends and their families over weekends and holidays and keeping busy. Spending time with friends’ families served as a distraction from their current situation at home, where they were reminded of the deceased parent and accompanying unhappiness.

Wendy and Hailey, for example, mentioned that they hardly ever spent time at home; they preferred spending time at their friends’ houses. Wendy indicated going to friends who still had both their parents living together. She said that having two parents in the house made her feel as if she was in a cozy and comfortable environment, which made it easier not to think about her circumstances.

The friends to whom I went had homes with a mother and a father, and there was a strong homey feel. I did … I did not have a homey feeling and I went to a find a homey feeling. (Wendy)

When an adolescent experiences peer friendship, this fosters a sense of belonging and acceptance, and a secure base. This relationship can play several roles, among which is to keep busy and keep their mind off their feelings of loss (Balk & Corr, 2009; Benkel et al., 2009).

Friends Offering Emotional Support

The roles of supportive friends were accentuated by participants whose parents had passed away when they were aged 16 years and older. The nature of this support centered on the sharing of emotions, being able to talk about the loss, and crying together. From the interviews, it seemed that these participants were at an age when they tended to talk about their emotions to friends. Margo described crying with friends; in fact, she mentioned hardly ever crying alone.

My one friend, she would like to buy a bottle of vodka, and cigarettes, and then we would go sit outside by the washing line and drink the whole bottle and smoked the cigarettes, and cry … I never actually cried alone. They all cried with me.

Consistent with these participants’ reflections, Lafreniere et al. (2013) and LaFreniere and Cain (2015a), also endorse that adolescents experiencing parental loss often confide in close friends for comfort, support, and recuperation.

Supportive Community

Most participants described the community as supportive after they had lost a parent. The participants indicated that schoolteachers, sport coaches, neighbors, and pastors showed significant support following their parent’s death. Support ranged from helping with transportation to school, after-school activities, and taking food to the participant and his or her family, to supporting the participants emotionally. William spoke about his coaches motivating him to be strong despite his difficult circumstances.

I think my coaches and everybody, kind of also put that mentality into me. Like just come back stronger from this. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Jane and Amber also described the effective support provided by the surrounding community after losing a parent.

I think, without me noticing there was a lot of, like, “moms” in my life. Like, for example, my dance teacher, she’s also one of the moms in my life. (Jane)

The church people were really supportive, because I’m part of the NG Church … so I had a good relationship with our reverend. (Amber)

Children often benefit from support beyond the family. Jane described the effective support provided by the surrounding community after losing a parent.

I think, without me noticing there was a lot of, like, “moms” in my life. Like, for example, my dance teacher, she’s also one of the moms in my life. (Jane)

Since teachers have distance from the loss and are trained to understand developmental issues, they are able to support children in a professional and objective way. Teachers can provide support through certain approaches to learning, such as planned course work (e.g., a theme that covers the impact of loss) or group work in class. In this way, the adolescent or child will feel less isolated, succeed academically, talk with and receive support from friends, and be able to communicate better with his or her family (Heath & Cole, 2011; Schonfeld & Quackenbush, 2009).

David described people in the community bringing them food in the evenings for up to 6 months after his mother’s death.

People brought us food and flowers, and made sure for a very, very long time that we were alright … Someone would phone every day and ask if we were alright, and ask if we had enough food, and if we needed anything, for six months or even longer.

Forming support networks with supportive community members will facilitate resilience against feelings of loneliness and isolation. Supportive community members can contribute significantly to adolescents’ more positive experiences of bereavement and, as a result, it may influence the adolescent’s coping strategies after the loss of a parent (Balk & Corr, 2009).

Religion (Third Category)

The majority of participants in this study reported religion as being a significant part of the adjustment process after losing their parent. Two themes emerged from the data. First, some participants described religion as a coping mechanism. These participants particularly coped by means of prayer and strong Christian beliefs that helped them make peace with the death and cope with the loss. Second, some participants indicated that they spoke to their deceased parent by means of prayer. These conversations provided comfort and signified the ongoing relationship that the participant had with the parent, even after death.

Religion as a Coping Mechanism

More than half of the participants described religion as a dominant coping mechanism that helped them accept and cope with the death of their parent. Amber described her faith in God as her main source of support after her father’s death.

Above all I think faith, my faith in God kind of helped me through it … Well, like life happens and God’s there to comfort you. God helped me cope. I know that sounds very clichéd. A lot of Christians do say that, but I really do mean it.

Wendy explained that she experienced God’s presence on a whole new level when she prayed for her father to rest in peace.

I have never been as aware of God’s closeness … His support and in particular with my mother, you could clearly feel it in the house. And the evening before my father died, I prayed that he should go now.

During highly stressful experiences such as the death of a loved one, a belief system that provides meaning can influence a person’s response to loss. Among other religious views, Christianity includes the belief that a person’s soul continues to live after the death of the physical body. These religious beliefs help Christians gain perspective, find sense and meaning in their loss and suffering, and simultaneously these beliefs may facilitate the grieving process (Halifax, 2008; Klugman, 2006).

Apart from finding meaning in death and coping on a more individual level, support from pastors and fellow congregants can help bereaved individuals through the loss. More specifically, religious customs suggest specific prayers and funeral rituals to cope with death. These rituals often ease the bereaved person(s) and give a sense of belonging to a broader community. These interpersonal sources of support, combined with intrapersonal coping mechanisms such as religious beliefs, help the person to work through grief in a way that allows him or her to find peace and acceptance (Halifax, 2008).

Religion as a Means of Communicating With the Deceased Parent Through Prayer

Most participants indicated that they still spoke to the deceased parent. Some described speaking to their parents by means of prayer; others explained the belief that the deceased parent is at God’s side.

When I pray I start talking to my dad. And then, eventually, I start talking to God and, well, I believe my dad’s right next to me here in the room, somewhere. He’s an angel and he’s my guardian angel. (Tina)

People talk to a deceased person by means of prayer, because they believe that a flow of communication continues to exist between them and their loved ones, even after they have passed away. Communicating with the deceased by means of prayer provides a sense of comfort and inner peace and enables a person to continue with life. Irrespective of the way one prefers to talk to the deceased, it provides a sense of comfort and connection (Balk & Corr, 2009).

A Strong Sense of Coherence as a Resource (Fourth Category)

Sense of coherence (SOC) constitutes the expression of a person’s pervasive and lasting sense of confidence, and it consists of three dimensions, namely comprehensibility (the degree to which an individual perceives stimuli as arranged, predictable, and meaningful), manageability (a sense of one’s ability to adapt during stressful situations by using the necessary resources to cope with both the circumstances and their consequences), and meaningfulness (whether stresses are tasks worth investing in and committing to (Muller & Rothman, 2009). It appears that most participants believed that they had significant intrapersonal capabilities to adjust and continue with life after the death of their parent. All of the participants managed to go on with life, receive schooling and attend university, despite their adverse circumstances. Hailey referred to her personality as a factor that helped her cope after losing her father.

I believe I am a very solid person, personality wise. I believe it definitely helped a lot … But I think it’s just personality. Loss is much worse for some people than for others.

William indicated that losing a parent had advantaged him, since he now was equipped to deal with future challenges and losses.

I basically just decided like, this is something that can buckle people and cause people to stop living … I felt like this can’t stop me and if I can prove to myself that something like this can’t limit me, then I’m just proving myself … I’m not disadvantaged for losing something. I am advantaged.

Wendy reported making a conscious decision to focus on her future, despite her current difficult situation. She focused on her school marks and studied hard for exams so that she could apply for university and be successful one day.

Well, I had a very strong will. The moment I realized that I was starting to feel depressed, I took a rational decision. It happened in the final exams, Grade 11 … My father was diagnosed just after the June vacation and he died during the November examination … You can be sad for the rest of your life, [but] you only have this time … to achieve university marks. And when my marks dropped, I decided—no, my marks cannot drop.

These quotes clearly show a strong SOC—a quality associated with coping with stress on an intrapersonal level. When a person has a strong SOC, he or she will have greater self-esteem and life structure, and evidently a better quality of life (Muller & Rothman, 2009). This is a possible explanation for why participants who could comprehend what had happened to them, gave meaning to the traumatic event, and experienced a sense of manageability were able to cope with the traumatic event of losing a parent.

Other Nonspecific Resources That Aid in Adjustment (as an Additional Category)

A few other coping mechanisms that were singled out included physical exercise, having time to prepare for the death of a parent, tangible reminders of the deceased parent, and journal writing.

Physical Exercise

Almost half of the participants described physical exercise as a helpful coping mechanism after losing a parent. Sara explained that being active helped her fight depression, with which she battled after losing her father to cancer. It appears that working out can serve as an escape mechanism, as well as an anti-depressant. Wendy, for example, described that the moment a psychologist suggested anti-depressants, she decided to exercise harder.

The moment a psychologist wanted to put me on antidepressants, I decided no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Rather go running an extra time this week, or something. (Wendy)

The effects of physical activity might stimulate a complex system. This, in turn, triggers a cascade of events that can result in higher resilience against stress-associated and mental disorders. Moreover, psychological factors that have been associated with the therapeutic efficacy of exercise include increased self-efficacy, a sense of mastery, distraction, and changes in self-concept (Ströhle, 2008).

Having Time to Prepare for the Death of a Parent Afflicted by a Terminal Illness

Some participants whose deceased parent’s cause of death was cancer described that having time to prepare for the death and say goodbye was helpful. Sara said that she had time to deal with her emotions for several months whilst her father was spending his last days in bed with terminal cancer. She mentioned mourning his death even before he passed away, which helped her face the actual day he died.

To start with, I had a long time to bid farewell. And I cried a lot. This did not make it less unbearable, but it did help that, even before he died, I could think through everything and also think about that, well, he is on his way. He is sick, he will die and there is nothing that I can do for him. I think I started grieving before the time, which helped a lot. (Sara)

Taking care of financial affairs and making sure the dying person’s will is in order are aspects, among other factors, that can help with the adjustment process after the person’s death. Although these are sensitive matters that are tough to face, dealing with them contributes positively to the whole family’s adjustment process after the death (Okun & Nowinski, 2011).

Tangible Reminders of the Deceased

A few participants indicated that they attached great value to tangible reminders of the deceased. Lisa said that her father wrote her and her sisters letters for future special occasions, such as birthdays. In this way, she was reminded of him even after he had passed away, and she experienced a sense of connection with him.

He wrote us letters for like big events … But it’s like, it’s a happy thought, because other people, other people never get that. So, in a way he’s still there with big days, like my birthday.

Apart from the participants’ narrative ways of communicating with the deceased, several reported the benefits of physical prompts. Physical prompts can facilitate adolescents to maintain an ongoing, positive bond with the deceased parent. For example, adolescents may use memory boxes to strengthen their identity with and relation to the deceased parent. A memory box, for instance, may help an adolescent to consciously focus on the positive memories they have of the deceased (Balk & Corr, 2009; McKissock & McKissock, 2006).

Journal Writing

Only one participant made mention of journal writing. This participant described her diary as a means of getting rid of suppressed emotions such as anger, sadness, and frustration to get them out of her system. She indicated that, even though she spoke to someone about her emotions at times, in many ways, she kept her emotions suppressed. However, when she wrote down suppressed feelings she felt as if she could let all her emotions out.

My diary is the one thing that got me through it, because I could escape into it and I could write down all my feelings … Such as, to write everything down helped me a lot … In my diary … everything comes out and you cry so much, but as soon as you have finished crying, it is like, okay, I can now go on again for a little while. (Annie)

Since adolescence is a stage during which young people experience hormonal development and heightened emotional states, they are often irritated with, or angry at, a parent. By writing down thoughts, an adolescent can liberate these inner feelings (Andersson & Conley, 2012). According to Alparone et al. (2015), writing about a past traumatic experience has repeatedly been associated with improvements in health and psychological wellbeing. This is supported by Pennebaker (1997), who has shown the positive effects of emotional disclosure through writing, even if the experience being written about was not traumatic.

Conclusion

In this study, five categories of supportive structures were identified in parentally bereaved adolescents’ adjustment. A first category, with three themes, pointed to various aspects of Family support for the bereaved adolescent. The significant role of the remaining parent, the parent’s partner, and the extended family were identified as core resources after the loss of a parent.

A Social support category was identified, with themes friends and community. Although various studies have focused on the role of friends supporting bereaved adolescents, we were able to identify two types (themes) of friend support, namely emotional support and distractive support. More specifically, different types of support are more meaningful during different phases of adolescence. Emotional support, for instance, appeared to be more relevant to adolescents in a later phase, compared with distractive support, which was more helpful to adolescents in earlier phases. One possible explanation for this finding may be the developmental task of intimacy in middle and late adolescence (Balk & Corr, 2009).

Religion, a third category (with themes), is highlighted in this study. The literature has pointed out the role of religious beliefs during times of suffering. In this study, however, two different aspects of religion emerged from the data. The one aspect points to religion as coping mechanism. The other aspect refers to religion as a means to communicate with the deceased. In the case of an adolescent losing a parent, a primary attachment figure is instantly absent. This study highlights that continuing communication through prayer can be utilized as a meaningful coping mechanism after the loss of a parent.

Very view studies have focused on adolescent adjustment and its relationship with intrapersonal strengths. However, we identified a strong sense of coherence (fourth category) as a personality trait among the majority of participants. This aspect can be explored in more depth in future studies.

A fifth category consisting of four (independent) themes, namely exercise, having time to prepare for the death of a parent diagnosed with cancer, tangible reminders, and journal writing, is based on feedback from only a few participants. However, we believe these coping mechanisms are of significance and can be explored in future studies that focus on coping with the death of a loved one.

Limitations of This Study

First, the generalization of the findings is limited. Participants in this study were similar with regard to important aspects such as educational level, income, race, and ethnicity. Consequently, this sample, and therefore the findings, is representative of a certain population group in a country in which there are a variety of income groups, races, and ethnic groups. Second, inter-rater reliability was not established, as the first author was the interviewer and data coder under the supervision of the second author (research supervisor), and we were the only researchers involved in the project.

Recommendations

The findings of this study can be used to plan interventions for adolescents whose parent has passed away. Interventions aimed at the bereaved adolescent should focus on strengthening the relationships between the adolescent and the remaining parent, the extended family, and the remaining parent’s partner—should the parent be involved in a new intimate relationship. Other aspects that may be the focus of individual interventions include an exploration and utilization of social support (friends and the community) and, finally, the development and establishment of a sense of coherence by the bereaved adolescent. Furthermore, support groups can be set up in which adolescents share their individual experiences of what helped them to adjust after the death of a parent. In this way, ideas can be shared, people can identify with each other, and they can help each other adjust after the death of a parent.

Aspects such as the nature or quality of the relationship with the deceased parent, the age of the participant, and the gender of the deceased parent and participant may have played a role in the resources that were used by the participant in order to adjust. None of these mentioned aspects were taken into consideration in the analyses of this study’s data. Consequently, future studies can take these aspects into consideration in the design of studies about adolescent adjustment after the death of a parent. Finally, each of the identified factors—a category, a theme, or a subtheme—can become the focus of an in-depth future study.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Author Biographies

Dane Ludik completed her Master’s thesis in Psychology at Stellenbosch University, South Africa. She is currently busy with a second Master’s degree to obtain her professional qualification as a counselling psychologist.

Abraham P. Greeff is a registered counselling psychologist and a professor in Psychology at Stellenbosch University, South Africa.

ORCID iD

Abraham P. Greeff

References

Alparone

F. R.

Pagliaro

Rizzo

(2015). The words to tell their own pain: Linguistic markers of cognitive reappraisal in mediating benefits of expressive writing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 34, 495–507. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2015.34.6.495

Andersson

Conley

A. S.

(2012). Optimizing the perceived benefits and health outcomes of writing about traumatic life events. Stress and Health, 29(1), 40–49. https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.2423

Balk

Corr

C. A.

(2009). Adolescent encounters with death, bereavement and coping. Springer.

Benkel

Wijk

Molander

(2009). Family and friends provide most social support for the bereaved. Palliative Medicine, 23, 141–149.

Braun

Clarke

(2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3, 77–101. https://dx-doi-org.web.bisu.edu.cn/10.1191/1478088706qp063oa

Brotman

L. M.

Gouley

K. K.

Klein

R. G.

Castellanos

F. X.

Pine

D. S.

(2003). Children, stress, and context: Integrating basic, clinical, and experimental prevention research. Child Development, 74(4), 1053–1057.

Bryman

Bell

(2011). Business research methods. Oxford University Press.

Burr

King

Butt

(2012). Personal construct psychology methods for qualitative research. International Journal of Social Research Methodology, 4(23), 192–201.

Fine

Coleman

Ganong

(2000). Reinvestigating remarriage: Another decade of progress. Journal of Family and Marriage, 62(4), 1288–1307. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.01288.x

10.

Frey

B. S.

Stutzer

(2006). Does marriage make people happy, or do happy people get married?. The Journal of Socio-Economics, 35, 326–347.

11.

Guest

(2012). Applied thematic analysis. Sage.

12.

Halifax

(2008). Being with dying: Cultivating compassion and fearlessness in the presence of death. Shambhala.

13.

Heath

M. A.

Cole

B. V.

(2011). Strengthening classroom emotional support for children following a family member’s death. School Psychology International, 33(3), 243–262. https://doi.org/10.1177/0143034311415800

14.

Kalter

Lohnes

Chasin

Cain

A. C.

Dunning

Rowan

(2002). The adjustment of parentally bereaved children: Factors associated with short-term adjustment. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 46(1), 15–34.

15.

Klugman

C. M.

(2006). Dead men talking: Evidence of post death contact and continuing bonds. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 53, 249–262.

16.

Lafreniere

Menna

Cramer

K. M.

(2013). Rebelliousness, effortful control, and risky behavior: Metamotivational and temperamental predictors of risk-taking in older adolescents. Journal of Motivation, Emotion, and Personality, 1(1), 17–26. https://doi.org/10.12689/jmep.2013.103

17.

LaFreniere

Cain

(2015a). Peer interactions of parentally bereaved children and adolescents: A qualitative study. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 72(2), 91–118. https://doi.org/10.1177/0030222815574829

18.

LaFreniere

Cain

(2015b). Parentally bereaved children and adolescents: The question of peer support. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 71(3), 245–271. https://doi.org/10.1177/0030222815575503

19.

McClatchey

I. S.

Wimmer

J. S.

(2014). Coping with parental death as seen from the perspective of children who attended a grief camp. Qualitative Social Work, 13(2), 221–236. https://doi.org/10.1177/1473325012465104

20.

McKissock

(2006). Coping with grief. ABC Books & Audio/BBC Audio.

21.

Muller

Rothman

(2009). Sense of coherence and employees’ perceptions of helping and restraining factors in organisations. SA Journal of Industrial Psychology, 35(1), 36–46.

22.

Okun

Nowinski

(2011). Saying goodbye: How families can find renewal through loss. Penguin Publishers.

23.

Pargament

Koenig

H. G.

Tarakshwar

Hahn

(2004). Religious coping methods as predictors of psychological, physical and spiritual outcomes among medically ill elderly patients: A two-year longitudinal study. Journal of Health Psychology, 9(6), 713–730. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105304045366

24.

Pennebaker

J. W.

(1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8, 162–166.

25.

Price

S. J.

Price

C. A.

McKenry

P. C.

(2010). Families and change: Coping with stressful events and transitions. Retrieved from https://books.google.co.za/books?id=1aSWMZMD3GgC&pg=PR3&source=gbs_selected_pages&cad=2#v=onepage&q&f=false

26.

Ringler

Hayden

(2000). Adolescent bereavement and social support: Peer loss compared to other losses. Journal of Adolescent Research, 15(2), 209–230.

27.

Saldinger

Porterfield

Cain

(2004). Meeting the needs of parentally bereaved children: A framework for child-centered parenting. Psychiatry, 67(4), 331–352.

28.

Schonfeld

Quackenbush

(2009). After a loved one dies: How children grieve and how parents and other adults can support them. New York Life Foundation. Retrieved from https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/dcf/Prevention/PDF/AfteraLovedOneDiesHowChildrenGrievepdf.pdf?la=en

29.

Servaty-Seib

H. L.

Haysip

(2003). Post-loss adjustment and funeral perceptions of parentally bereaved adolescents and adults. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 46(3), 251–261.

30.

Stokes

J. E.

(2014). Surviving parents’ influence on adult children’s depressive symptoms following the death of a first parent. The Journal of Applied Gerontology, 35, 1–21. https://doi.org/10.1177/0733464814558876

31.

Ströhle

(2008). Physical activity, exercise, depression and anxiety disorders. Biological Psychiatry: Review Article, 116, 777–784. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00702-008-0092-x

32.

Sugarman

(2014). Losing a father all over again: The termination of an analysis of an adolescent boy suffering from father loss. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 58(4), 667–690. https://doi.org/10.1177/0003065110385577

33.

Walker

Shaffer

(2007). Reducing depression among adolescents dealing with grief and loss: A programme evaluation report. Health and Social Work, 32(1), 67–69.

34.

Werner-Lin

Biank

N. M.

(2013). Holding parents so they can hold their children: Grief work with surviving spouses to support parentally bereaved children. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 66(1), 1–16.