Career Confidential

How can educators move forward after students are killed at school? Start by trying to regain some semblance of control.

In the wake of the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, teachers, principals, and superintendents everywhere have questions. “We’re expected to play so many roles these days, from social worker to parent to nurse, and now we’re expected to be human shields,” one teacher says. “I run through scenarios. I visualize blocking my students by standing between them and the locked closet door, but then I get stuck thinking about the playground. What do I do if we need to run away and one of my students lags behind? Or if a student cries when she needs to be silent?”

Another teacher says she loves working with kids, but she can’t stop thinking about active shooters. “I fear for my students, and I’m also concerned about my six-year-old son. Multiple times a day, I think, ‘Is he safe?’ “

A principal wonders whether he should reevaluate his safety procedures. “Some schools have the works — metal detectors and security guards and teachers trained to use guns. All I have is a secured main entrance and a few cameras. How do I know what’s enough?”

Another principal worries that his drills aren’t realistic enough. “I don’t really want to have simulated gunshots and powder in the air and kids playing dead while armed officers storm the building, but that’s what some schools are doing. Where’s the line between adequate preparation and unnecessarily putting everyone on edge?” he asks.

Then there’s the superintendent who wants to be a reassuring leader but doesn’t want to seem disingenuous. “How can I comfort my community while conceding that we can never be entirely safe?” he says.

Educators want to know how to manage uncertainty and helplessness after a trauma. How can they carry on when their reserves are down? Leaders want to tamp down everyone’s anxiety, but they also want to make sure they’re prepared for the worst.

There are more questions than answers, but we do have good research on stress. Sonia Lupien, director of the Center for Studies on Human Stress, in Montreal, developed the NUTS model. For something to be stressful, it has to contain novelty (something new); unpredictability (no way of knowing it could occur); threat to the ego (feeling your competence is questioned), and sense of control (feeling you have little or no control in a situation).

School shootings have all these elements. Stress also tends to spill over from adults to kids. When teachers have difficulty coping, their behavior may become unpredictable, and that can produce more anxious students.

So how can educators soothe themselves and others? Ned Johnson, author of The Self-Driven Child, explains that the fastest way to stress the nervous system is to believe you’re helpless, so try to regain some semblance of control. For some individuals, that might mean researching and updating safety procedures. For others, it might mean lobbying for more gun control or better mental health services. Still others might raise money.

Marjory Stoneman Douglas students, for example, chose fund-raising and organizing the March for our Lives. The school’s principal, Diane Wolk-Rogers, asked people to send letters to her students so they can see that there are still kind people in the world.

Pursue whatever feels meaningful and gives you a sense of purpose. If students or their parents are feeling similarly helpless, encourage them to do the same.

There’s not much else you can do. You can’t promise families that their children are safe. You can update emergency plans, practice drills, and implement security measures, but you can’t make guarantees. It’s a tough balance to strike.

You want to be empathetic and reassuring, but you also need to be transparent and admit you don’t have all the answers.

When you can’t solve or avoid a problem, you need to know how to conserve your energy and focus on what you can control. That’s the secret to resilience. You can’t predict the future, but you can take care of yourself in the present so you’re able to rebound more quickly. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep.

Ken Ginsburg, a pediatrician at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and expert on resiliency, suggests taking “instant vacations.”

“It’s about knowing how to escape our emotions for a little bit so we can comfortably avoid intrusive thoughts and settle through things like mindfulness, reading a book, and other ways of getting away,” he says.

Make sure you express your emotions, whether through crying, laughing, talking, praying, writing, or any other artistic expression.

Limit your news consumption, focus on the helpers doing good, and make time to connect with friends, family, and professional peers. For principals and superintendents, that might mean reaching out to other principals and superintendents. Keep in mind that a person can be traumatized by something they experience indirectly, so seek counseling if you need help.