Perceived discrepancy between one’s ideal and actual partner has been shown to predict relationship satisfaction. The goal of two studies was to examine whether implicit theories of relationships moderate this association. In Study 1, data from 177 undergraduates in romantic relationships showed that the perception that one’s partner falls short of one’s ideal was generally linked to lower satisfaction, except under cultivation (high growth/low destiny). In Study 2, data from 61 couples showed (a) viewing one’s partner favorably was associated with more satisfaction but less so among those who were higher in growth belief; and (b) cultivation predicted increased positivity, whereas evaluation (high destiny/low growth) predicted increased hostility when discussing discrepancies in how they and their partner view the relationship. Results are discussed in terms of the controversy over idealization and authenticity in romantic relationships.
Get full access to this article
View all access options for this article.
References
1.
Brehm, S. S. (1988). Passionate love. In R. J. Sterberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 232-263). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
2.
Brickman, P. (1987). Commitment, conflict, and caring. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
3.
Deci, E. L. , & Ryan, R. M. (1987). The support of autonomy and the control of behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, 1024-1037.
4.
Deci, E. L. , & Ryan, R. M. (1991). A motivational approach to self: Integration in personality. In R. Dienstbier (Ed.), Nebraska Symposium on Motivation, 1990 (pp. 237-288). Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press.
5.
Dweck, C. S. , Chiu, C., & Hong, Y. (1995). Implicit theories and their role in judgments and reactions: A world from two perspectives. Psychological Inquiry, 6, 267-285.
6.
Eidelson, R. J. , & Epstein, N. (1982). Cognition and relationship mal-adjustment: Development of a measure of dysfunctional relationship beliefs. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 50, 715-720.
7.
Elliot, A. E. , & Church, M. A. (1997). A hierarchical model of approach and avoidance achievement motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72(1), 218-232.
8.
Fletcher, G.J.O. , & Kininmonth, L. (1992). Measuring relationship beliefs: An individual differences measure. Journal of Research in Personality, 26, 371-397.
9.
Fletcher, G.J.O. , Simpson, J. A., Thomas, G., & Giles, L. (1999). Ideals in intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 72-89.
10.
Gonzales, R. , & Griffin, D. (1999). The correlational analysis of dyad-level data in the distinguishable case. Personal Relationships, 6, 449-469.
11.
Griffin, D. , Murray, S., & Gonzales, R. (1999). Difference score correlations in relationship research: A conceptual primer. Personal Relationships, 6, 505-518.
12.
Hendrick, S. S. , Hendrick, C., & Adler, N. L. (1988). Romantic relationships: Love, satisfaction, and staying together. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 980-988.
13.
Hodgins, H. S. , & Knee, C. R. (in press). The integrating self and conscious experience. In E. L. Deci & R. M. Ryan (Eds.), Handbook of self-determination research. Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press.
14.
Holmes, J. G. , & Boon, S. D. (1990). Developments in the field of close relationships: Creating foundations for intervention strategies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 16, 23-41.
15.
Kamins, M. L. , Morris, S. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1996). Implicit theories as predictors of goals in dating relationships. Paper presented at the meeting of the Eastern Psychological Association, Washington DC.
16.
Karney, B. R. , & Bradbury, T. N. (1997). Neuroticism, marital interaction, and the trajectory of marital satisfaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72(5), 1075-1092.
17.
Kenny, D. A. , Kashy, D. A., & Bolger, N. (1998). Data analysis in social psychology. In D. Gilbert, S. Fiske, & G. Lindzey (Eds.), Handbook of social psychology (Vol. 1, 4th ed., pp. 233-265). Boston: McGraw-Hill.
18.
Knee, C. R. (1996). Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation and longevity (Doctoral dissertation, University of Rochester, 1996). Dissertation Abstracts International, 57 (9-B): 5979. (University Microfilms No. AAM9704331)
19.
Knee, C. R. (1998a). Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(2), 360-370.
20.
Knee, C. R. (1998b, June). Implicit theories of relationships: Coping with relationship imperfections. Paper presented at the 9th International Conference on Personal Relationships, Saratoga Springs, NY.
21.
Knee, C. R. , & Zuckerman, M. (1996). Causality orientations and the disappearance of the self-serving bias. Journal of Research in Personality, 30, 76-87.
22.
Knee, C. R. , & Zuckerman, M. (1998). A nondefensive personality: Autonomy and control as moderators of defensive coping and self-handicapping. Journal of Research in Personality, 32, 115-130.
23.
Littell, R. C. , Milliken, G. A., Stroup, W. W., & Wolfinger, R. D. (1996). SAS system for mixed models. Cary, NC: SAS Institute Inc.
24.
McCrae, R. R. , & Costa, P. T., Jr. (1987). Validation of the five-factor model of personality across instruments and observers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 81-90.
25.
Morris, S. (1996). Implicit theories as predictors of goals in dating relationships. Unpublished honors thesis, Columbia University, New York.
26.
Murray, S. L. , & Holmes, J. G. (1994). Story-telling in close relationships: The construction of confidence. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 20, 663-676.
27.
Murray, S. L. , & Holmes, J. G. (1997). A leap of faith: Positive illusions in romantic relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(6), 586-604.
28.
Murray, S. L. , Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996a). The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 79-98.
29.
Murray, S. L. , Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996b). The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: Love is not blind, but prescient. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 1155-1180.
30.
Noller, P. , & Feeney, J. A. (1994). Relationship satisfaction, attachment, and nonverbal accuracy in early marriage. Journal of Non-verbal Behavior, 18, 199-221.
31.
Norton, R. (1983). Measuring marital quality: A critical look at the dependent variable. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 45, 141-151.
32.
Ruvolo, A. P. , & Rotondo, J. L. (1998). Diamonds in the rough: Implicit personality theories and views of partner and self. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24(7), 750-758.
33.
Ruvolo, A. P. , & Veroff, J. (1997). For better or for worse: Real-discrepancies and relationship quality in newlyweds. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 14, 223-242.
34.
Singer, J. D. (1998). Using SAS PROC MIXED to fit multilevel models, hierarchical models, and individual growth models. Journal of Educational and Behavioral Statistics, 24, 323-355.
35.
Sternberg, R. J. , & Barnes, M. L. (1985). Real and ideal others in romantic relationships: Is four a crowd?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49, 1586-1608.
36.
Swann, W. B. , De La Ronde, C., & Hixon, J. G. (1994). Authenticity and positive strivings in marriage and courtship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66, 857-869.
37.
Taylor, S. E. , & Brown, J. D. (1988). Illusion and well-being: A social psychological perspective on mental health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 103(2), 193-210.
38.
Van Lange, P. A. M. , & Rusbult, C. E. (1995). My relationship is better than—and not as bad as—yours is: The perception of superiority in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21, 32-44.
39.
Weiss, R. L. (1980). Strategic behavioral marital therapy: Toward a model for assessment and intervention. In J. P. Vincent (Ed.), Advances in family intervention, assessment and theory (Vol.1, pp. 229-271). Greenwich, CT: JAI.
40.
Zuckerman, M. , & Lubin, B. (1965). Manual for the Multiple Affect Adjective Checklist. San Diego, CA: Educational and Industrial Testing Service.
