Sooner or later? The marital horizons of parents and their emerging adult children

Abstract

Grounded in a marital horizon theory of emerging adulthood, this article presents a study that provides an evaluation of the differences between parents’ and emerging adults’ views about marriage. Using a sample of 536 emerging adults and their parents (446 mothers, 360 fathers) recruited from five college sites from across the United States, the study sought to identify parents’ marital ideals for their children and to investigate how these attitudes compare to those of emerging adults themselves. Results demonstrated that there are significant differences between parents and emerging adults with regard to marital horizon factors. Specifically, parents reported a higher desired age for marriage, lower importance of marriage as a life goal, and emphasized different criteria of marriage readiness than their emerging adult children. Results also suggest that contemporary patterns of delayed marriage among emerging adults are generally supported, and perhaps encouraged, by parents.

Keywords

Emerging adulthood marital attitudes marriage parents young adulthood

Family formation trajectories during emerging adulthood have undergone radical shifts in the United States. Later transitions to marriage (Goodwin, McGill, & Chandra, 2009) and child-bearing (Mathews & Hamilton, 2009) among most segments of the population in the United States have altered how many emerging adults transition from adolescence into adult roles. With many emerging adults now living through the majority of their 20s as singles, family and developmental scholars have directed much of their attention to how perceptions, expectations, and attitudes toward future union formation might influence individual and relational trajectories during this developmental period (Carroll et al., 2007, 2009). Scholars have specifically argued that marital attitudes are a critical component of emerging adulthood development as they influence decisions about relationship formation, educational trajectories and risk-taking behavior (Carroll et al., 2007; Willoughby & Dworkin, 2009).

One current gap in our understanding of relational cognitions is the amount of congruency between older and younger generations in terms of how they view marriage. Recently, scholars have argued that parental preferences regarding marital timing and partner selection apply indirect pressure on young adults (Wiik, 2009), suggesting that timing and expectation differences between parents and children may lead to more conflict and tension in parent-child relationships. The focus of the present study was to identify parents’ marital ideals for their children and to analyze how these attitudes compare to those of a population of current emerging adults. This investigation will contribute to the scholarly literature on marital attitudes by identifying differences between parents and emerging adult children that may be points of conflict or consensus as emerging adults negotiate intimate relationships and long-term union formation decisions.

Parenting and emerging adulthood

There is an abundance of research on parenting during childhood and adolescence, but fewer studies have focused on parenting during emerging adulthood. There is some indication that the parent-child relationship continues to be important during emerging adulthood, especially during times of transition and as emerging adults seek autonomy from parents (Bartle-Haring, Brucker, & Hock, 2002; O’Connor, Allen, Bell, & Hauser, 1996; Padilla-Walker, Nelson, Madsen, & Barry, 2008). For example, Collins and Val Dulman (2006) found that emerging adults are just as likely to identify their parents as the primary individuals from whom they seek advice and support as they are their friends or romantic partners, and other scholars have found that the early 20’s is a time period of “stability and continuity” in parent-child relationships (Scabini & Galimberti, 1995, pg. 603). Furthermore, the well-being of emerging adults has been found to be closely tied to their ongoing relationships with parents, regardless of whether they still live with parents or have left home (Cooney & Kurz, 1996; Umberson, 1992). Other scholars have noted that the general delay in adult transitions during emerging adulthood may have the effect of strengthening and elongating close parent-child relationships beyond adolescence (Scabini & Cigoli, 1997).

As parents and their children continue to have meaningful and important relationships through emerging adulthood, research on intergenerational congruence on relational values and attitudes suggests that similarities should be found between parents and their emerging adult children regarding their attitudes about dating and future marriage. Research evidence suggests a generally high level of overlap between parents and their own emerging adult children on their reported values regarding family formation, religion, education, and risk-taking (Bjarnason, Thorlindsson, & Sigfusdottir, 2005; Dickie, Ajega, & Kobylak, 2006; Sandefur, Meier, & Campbell, 2006). Additionally, a recent study found that parents and emerging adults both had similar perceptions of what criteria were needed for adulthood status (Nelson et al., 2007), while another recent study with a specific focus on marital attitudes found that parents’ beliefs about marriage for their children were significantly associated with similar attitudes among their emerging adult children (Willoughby, Carroll, Vitas, & Hill, 2012).

Despite these similarities, results from these studies also suggest that parents and emerging adults sometimes display generational differences on values and attitudes. Nelson and colleagues (2007) found that although emerging adults viewed role transitions, such as transitioning to marriage or to parenthood, as important markers of adult status, parents rated these same criteria as significantly less important. Additionally, although previous studies (see Willoughby et al., 2012) have shown strong congruence within families on marital attitudes, we know comparatively little about larger generational differences between current cohorts of parents and current cohorts of emerging adults on their perceptions regarding marriage.

Such an investigation of these similarities and differences is potentially important for two primary reasons. First, as noted previously, differences across parental and emerging adult cohorts may represent common areas of conflict and tension as parents and emerging adults negotiate a developmental period of increased autonomy. Scholars have noted that relationship formation and entry into marriage may be a particularly important aspect of parental preference during emerging adulthood (Wiik, 2009) and generational differences may signify common sources of stress and tension in parent-child relationships during emerging adulthood. Additionally, generational differences in marital attitudes may shed light into possible mechanisms driving the dramatic changes in family formation patterns seen in the United States during the past 25 years (Fields, 2004; Goodwin, McGill, & Chandra, 2009). These changing marital patterns suggest shifting perceptions and attitudes toward marriage that are as yet unexplored. Exploring how perceptions and attitudes regarding marriage are different across generational cohorts will provide insight into ever evolving union formation trends.

Theoretical foundations

An investigation of congruence between parents and their emerging adult children on attitudes toward marriage can be guided by several important theoretical frameworks. Much of the current scholarship on emerging adults is framed by Arnett’s emerging adulthood theory (2000), which argues that the time period from the late teens through the mid-twenties now represents a new developmental period that is different from both adolescence and adulthood. For many emerging adult scholars, emerging adulthood has been conceptualized as a natural extension of adolescent development. With such a paradigm, much of this scholarship has focused on individual development and how emerging adults behave similar or dissimilar compared to their adolescent counterparts. Fewer family and couple scholars have focused on studying emerging adulthood by examining how emerging adulthood is a period that likely changes and alters trajectories into later adult roles and family formation. Emerging adult theory itself (see Arnett, 2006) often contrasts the experiences and behaviors of emerging adults as unique compared to individuals who have obtained adult status and roles. The theory does not clearly articulate how behaviors or attitudes held during emerging adulthood might influence later family formation decisions, or conversely, how beliefs about marriage and family might impact emerging adulthood itself. Utilizing a family developmental perspective (Rodgers & White, 1993) allows for the conceptualization of emerging adulthood as a period of the life course between leaving one's family of origin and transitioning into the adult roles of marriage and parenting. When applying such a view, the impact of future family and marital attitudes on emerging adulthood itself becomes an important topic of scholarly inquiry.

Marital Horizon Theory

Utilizing such a viewpoint, Carroll and colleagues (2007, 2009) have proposed a marital horizon theory of emerging adulthood. The concept “marital horizon” was used to refer to a person’s beliefs and attitudes about a marriage in the future based on current circumstances and contexts.

Carroll and colleagues (2007) suggest that there are three components that constitute an emerging adult’s marital horizon, namely: (1) the relative importance of marriage in one’s current life plans, (2) the desired timing of marriagein the life course, and (3) the criteria for marriage readiness or the types of preparation one believes are needed before being ready to marry. In a study testing the first two factors of marital horizon theory (i.e., marital importance and desired marital timing), Carroll and colleagues (2007) found that emerging adults who desired to marry between the ages of 18 and 23 reported less risky sexual behavior and lower rates of binge drinking, drug use, and endorsement of cohabitation compared to emerging adults who desired to marry later in the life course. These findings have also been replicated in a large national sample from the United States (Willoughby & Dworkin, 2009). In a follow-up study, Carroll and colleagues (2009) examined the criteria for marriage readiness among emerging adults. Results indicated that there are considerable differences among emerging adults with regard to their criteria for marriage readiness compared to their criteria for adulthood. In particular, it was found that emerging adults placed a high priority on interpersonal competence, familial capacities, and role transitions as marriage readiness criteria. Carroll and colleagues noted that factors rated highly as criteria for marriage readiness were largely “other-focused” and different than previous studies on criteria for adulthood, where emerging adults tended to place high priority on individualistic criteria such as taking responsibility for one’s own actions (Arnett, 1998).

One currently missing element of research on marital horizons is how parental perceptions of marital horizons compare to those of emerging adults. Although research has suggested some attitudinal overlap between parents and their own emerging adult children in that parental preferences regarding marital timing and the importance of marriage predict these same attitudes in their own children (Willoughby, Carroll, Vitas, & Hill, 2012), no study has looked at larger generational group differences which might exist between the older parental generation and emerging adults. In the present study, we seek to identify differences in marital attitudes across all three dimensions of marital horizon theory between parents and emerging adult children, while controlling for similarities between parents and their actual children.

Several sources of scholarly and empirical information suggest the potential for differences between parents and emerging adults on dimensions of marital horizons. First, developmental scholars have noted that emerging adulthood today is a vastly different experience than in previous generations. Arnett (2000) argued that current emerging adults exhibit differing family and individual trajectories to those of their parents due to a differing cultural climate regarding marriage, education, and employment. This may lead to generational differences in expectations regarding the timing and importance of marriage. For example, we might expect that parents would desire for their emerging adults to marry earlier in the twenties as a reflection of the culture they transitioned to marriage in.This could possibility contrast with emerging adults today who live in a culture of delayed marital transitions and might desire a longer period of singlehood. Changing demographic trends regarding the transition to marriage also suggest generational cohort differences. From 1970 to 2003, the median age of first marriage increased by nearly four years for men and five years for women (Fields, 2004). During this same time period, the percentage of Americans aged 15 or older who were married dropped 10%, from 65% in 1970 to 55% in 2003. These behavioral shifts may represent corresponding generational differences in attitudes toward marriage. However, no study has attempted to explore whether such differences exist.

Utilizing marital horizon theory as a guide and noting family formation changes across generations, we hypothesize that parents likely hold differing marital horizons than emerging adults after controlling for the inherent similarity between parents and emerging adults within the same family. To our knowledge, no previous study has investigated if such intergenerational differences exist across generational cohorts on measures of marital attitudes and no studies have sought to address these differences across multiple dimensions of measurement. With this as our central focus, we examined three research questions: (1) how do parents compare with emerging adult children on reported importance of marriage, (2) how do parents compare with emerging adult children in terms of desired age for marriage, and (3) how do parents compare with emerging adult children on their stated criteria for marriage readiness?

Method

Participants

Participants for the current study were drawn from a study of emerging adult college students and their parents entitled Project R.E.A.D.Y. (Researching Emerging Adults’ Developmental Years). This project is an ongoing, collaborative, multi-site study that is being conducted by a consortium of developmental and family scholars. The sample used in the current study consisted of 536 undergraduate and graduate students (387 women, 149 men) and their parents (446 mothers, 360 fathers) recruited from five college sites from across the United States. The response rate for the study was approximately 63%. The mean age of study participants was 20.0 years, (SD = 1.74) for emerging adults, 48.9 years (SD = 4.42) for mothers, and 50.9 years (SD = 5.34) for fathers.

Of emerging adults, 75% were European American, 2% were African American, 12% were Asian American, 4% were Latino American, and 7% indicated that they were of another ethnicity. A total of 90% of emerging adults reported living outside of their parents’ home in an apartment, house, or residence hall. Only 10% of emerging adults reported being financially independent of their parents, with the majority of participants (75%) reporting a personal income of US$5000 or less per year. Of the parents, 14% reported a yearly income of less than US$50,000, 13% reported a yearly income between US$50,000 and US$75,000, 20% reported a yearly income between US$75,000 and US$100,000, and 50% reported a yearly income over US$100,000.

Procedure

Participants completed the Project R.E.A.D.Y. questionnaire via the Internet. Most participants were offered course/extra credit for their participation. (For a complete description of the sampling procedures and study design, see Carroll et al., 2007 and Carroll et al., 2009.) After participants completed their questionnaire, they had the option to send an invitation to their parents to participate in the study via email. The email invitation included an assigned password and a link to the parents’ version of the questionnaire. Parents completed a shorter battery of 280 items, similar to the one their children completed.

Measures

Marital Attitudes

Six items were used to assess the importance of marriage among parents and emerging adults (see Carroll et al., 2007 for background on the selection of these items). Parents and their emerging adult children selected how much they agreed or disagreed with each statement on a six-point scale ranging from very strongly disagree (1) to very strongly agree (6). The statements were worded toward self for the emerging adult (EA) children (e.g., “I would like to be married now” vs. “I would like my child to be married now”). Preliminary reliability analyses revealed that this scale had only moderate internal consistency (parents and emerging adults, α = .42 to .60). Efforts to refine this scale revealed that there were at least two explanations for this scale’s low internal consistency. First, an examination of inter-item correlations revealed that our proposed scale appears to be mixing two different aspects of marital importance – general or overall importance (i.e., “Being married is a very important goal I have for my child” and “Marriage is a lifetime relationship and should never be ended except under extreme circumstances”) and the relative or sequential importance of marriage in relation to other life goals (i.e., “My child’s educational pursuits or career development come before marriage at this time in his/her life,” “I would like my child to be married now,” “Couples in serious relationships while in college should get married and continue their educations together,” “All in all, there are more advantages to being single than to being married”). Recent research has suggested that general and relative importance of marriage may be two differing constructs for young adults (Willoughby, 2010). A second issue contributing to low scale reliability was that men and women appear to interpret and respond to these marital importance items differently, thus changing the magnitude – and in some cases the direction – of inter-item correlations. This made it impossible to create an adequately reliable scale for both men and women utilizing comparable items. Therefore, these items were retained as individual assessments of marital attitudes. Ideal age for marriage was assessed using an open-ended response to the question “What is the ideal age (in years) for an individual to get married?”

Criteria for Marriage Readiness Questionnaire

Participants were administered the Criteria for Marriage Readiness Questionnaire (CMRQ – see Carroll et al., 2009 for a full review of validity and reliability), which is a modified and expanded version of Arnett’s (1997) Criteria for Adulthood Questionnaire (CAQ). The CMRQ includes six dimensions in areas of Role Transitions (e.g., financially independent from parents and others, finished with education, purchased a house; six items, α = .75), Norm Compliance (e.g., avoid becoming drunk, avoid illegal drugs, avoid committing petty crimes; seven items, α = .82), Family Capacities(e.g., become capable of supporting a family financially, become capable of caring for children; eight items, α = .92), Intrapersonal Competencies(e.g., have good control of your emotions, maintain a positive outlook on life, overcome any personal challenges; five items, α = .75), Interpersonal Competencies (e.g., able to express feelings in close relationships, able to listen to others in an understanding way; nine items, α = .85), and being Sexually Experienced (e.g., have lived with partner before getting married, have had considerable sexual experience; four items, α = .68). In addition to these six scales, the CMRQ also contains six non-scaled items that measure how much importance respondents place on age criteria (i.e., “Reached age 18”) and preparation for marriage (i.e., “Have participated in a marriage preparation course”).

The CMRQ presents respondents with a list of possible criteria for marriage readiness. First, the participants were asked to “indicate whether or not YOU believe the following are necessary for a person to be ready for marriage”. They could respond “yes” or “no”. Next, participants were asked to “give your opinion of the importance of each of the following in determining whether or not a person is ready to get married”. They rated each criterion on a scale of 1 to 4 (1 = Not at All Important to 4 = Very Important).

Analysis plan

Given the dependent nature of the data, hierarchical linear modeling (employing the MIXED procedure in SPSS) was used to examine differences among ideal age for marriage and importance of marriage reported by emerging adults, fathers and mothers. Hierarchical linear modeling (HLM) is a random coefficient modeling technique that can be used to analyze data collected within groups (Nezlek & Zyzniewski, 1998). The term hierarchicalrefers to the fact that sets of observations are treated as hierarchically nested within other sets. For the purpose of this study, HLM was used to nest individual respondents (emerging adults, fathers, and mothers) within families. Individuals within the same family were grouped together and coded with a unique family identifier. Family member identity (1 = emerging adult, 2 = mother, and 3 = father) was then used as a within-family repeated factor to control for the dependency between family members. For gender analyses, scores for mothers, fathers, and emerging adults were also collapsed by gender to investigate gender differences in the marital expectations for emerging adult men and women. This was accomplished by averaging the scores for emerging adult men, their mothers and their fathers and then comparing that composite score to the average score for emerging adult women, their mothers and fathers. For the third research question, additional analyses were done. Specifically, methods used in Carroll and colleagues’ (2009) original study on criteria for marriage readiness were replicated to produce comparable results. This entailed computing frequencies and descriptive statistics to determine the criteria that emerging adults and their parents endorse as most important for marriage readiness, utilizing the yes/no responses. We then utilized HLM mixed regression methods to compare emerging adults, mothers, and fathers on the importance they placed on each dimension of the CMRQ. In all regression models, marital attitudes served as the dependent variable of interest, whereas gender and family member identity (i.e. child, mother, or father) were used as independent variables.

Preliminary analyses suggested that no significant differences were found between sites on the major variables of interest; thus, data were collapsed across sites.

Results

Question 1: How do parents compare with their emerging adult children on reported importance of marriage?

HLM results for marital importance (Table 1) comparing emerging adults to fathers and mothers revealed a significant main effect of respondent for the marital importance items: “Marriage is an important goal that I have (for my child)”, (F(2, 849.33) = 54.04, p < .001); “My (child’s) educational pursuits or career development should come before marriage at this time (in his or her life)”, (F(2, 801.58) = 3.29, p < .05); “I would like my child to be married now”, (F(2, 877.35) = 36.45, p < .001); and “There are more advantages to being single than to being married” (F(2, 841.06) = 6.33, p < .01). Follow-up analyses, using Fisher’s least significant difference test, revealed that emerging adults placed higher importance on marriage as a life goal and expressed greater desire to be married now than did both fathers and mothers, who did not differ from one another. Emerging adults also agreed to a higher degree with the statement “There are more advantages to being single than to being married” than did fathers and mothers, who did not differ. Fathers gave higher priority to educational pursuits over marriage for their children than did emerging adults and mothers, who did not differ from one another.

Table 1.

Differences between emerging adults’, fathers’ and mothers’ views of marital timing and importance

	Emerging adults	Fathers	Mothers
	M (SD)	M (SD)	M (SD)	F
Ideal age for marriage	25.26 (1.99)^b	26.01 (2.41)^a	25.91 (2.01)^a	14.35 ***
Marriage is an important goal	4.90 (1.19)^b	4.09 (1.16)^a	4.19 (1.19)^a	54.04 ***
Marriage is a lifetime relationship	4.54 (1.25)^a ^b	4.59 (1.27)^a	4.38 (1.36)^b	2.36
Education/career should come before marriage	4.83 (1.20)^b	5.05 (1.15)^a	4.97 (1.34)^ab	3.29 *
I would like to be married now	2.60 (1.27)^b	2.04 (1.11)^a	1.91 (1.10)^a	36.45 ***
I would consider marriage while in school	2.91 (.98)	2.91 (1.04)	2.88 (1.05)	.08
There are more advantages to being single	2.64 (.99)^b	2.43 (1.03)^a	2.40 (1.06)^a	6.33 **

Note. Means in the same row with differing subscript letters are significantly different from one another based on least significant differences post hoc analyses.

* p < .05, ** p< .01, *** p < .001.

Averaging scores for emerging adult women and their parents and then comparing scores to the average of emerging adult men and their parents revealed a significant main effect of gender for the marital importance item “I would like (my child) to be married now” (F(1, 1272.62) = 5.30, p < .05). HLM results across both parents and emerging adults showed that, on average, respondents had higher desires for emerging adult women to be currently married than they did for emerging adult men. Interactions between parental and emerging adult gender were not significant.

Question 2: How do parents compare with their emerging adult children in terms of ideal age for marriage?

HLM results revealed a significant main effect of gender for desired age of marriage (F(1, 1025.21) = 8.59, p < .01). On average, respondents reported a later ideal age of marriage for emerging adult men than for emerging adult women. Results comparing emerging adults, mothers, and fathers also revealed a significant main effect of respondent for ideal age of marriage (F(2, 920.71) = 14.35, p < .001), with emerging adults (M = 25.26; SD=1.99) reporting a significant lower age for ideal timing of marriage when compared with both mothers (M = 25.91; SD=2.01) and fathers (M = 26.01; SD = 2.41). The difference between mothers and fathers was not significant. Interactions between parental and emerging adult gender were not significant.

Question 3: How do parents compare with their emerging adult children on their stated criteria for marriage readiness?

Parents and emerging adults agreed on 16 out of 45 necessary criteria before being marriage ready (i.e., a criterion is reported as “agreed upon” if at least 85% of emerging adults and 85% of parents reported a certain criterion as necessary; Carroll et al., 2009). The majority of the items in which parents and children were in consensus revolved around areas of interpersonal competence and family capacities. Despite this high level of congruence, there were a number of items that varied greatly in the percentage of emerging adults and parents who agreed with them. For example, parents placed a greater premium on items within the norm compliance subscale, such as avoiding becoming drunk (81% of parents agreed, whereas only 51% of emerging adults agreed) and driving an automobile safely and close to the speed limit (80% of parents agreed, whereas 48% of emerging adults agreed). Another discrepant item was the importance of participating in a premarital education course prior to marriage, with 60% of parents agreeing that this criterion is necessary, whereas just 35% of emerging adults believed that premarital education was a prerequisite to marriage. Another item with a notable difference regarded attitudes about cohabitation: 33% of emerging adults agreed that living with a partner was necessary to be ready to marry, whereas only 14% of parents did.

HLM results comparing emerging adults, fathers, and mothers with regard to the importance they placed on criteria for marriage readiness dimensions are summarized in Table 2. Results revealed a significant main effect of gender for role transitions (F(1, 1162.62) = 15.19, p < .001) and family capacities (F(1, 1194.33) = 3.94, p < .05). On average, respondents rated importance of role transitions higher for young men than young women, and importance of family capacities as more important for young women than young men. HLM results comparing emerging adults, fathers, and mothers in the importance they placed on CMR dimensions are shown in Table 2. Results comparing emerging adults, mothers, and fathers revealed several significant results. A significant main effect of respondent was found for role transitions (F(2, 867.68) = 3.48, p < .05); family capacities (F(2, 847.45) = 7.39, p < .001); norm compliance (F(2, 896.53) = 105.37, p < .001); intrapersonal competence (F(2, 832.76) = 8.15, p < .001); and interpersonal competence (F(2, 867.64) = 15.69, p < .001). Follow up analyses revealed that mothers rated norm compliance, family capacities, interpersonal competence and intrapersonal competence more important than did fathers and emerging adults, who differed from each other on norm compliance – with fathers being higher – and interpersonal competence, with emerging adults being higher. Fathers rated role transitions lower than both mothers and emerging adults.

Table 2.

Differences between emerging adults’, fathers’, and mothers’ importance ratings for criteria for marriage readiness

	Emerging adults	Fathers	Mothers	F
	M (SD)	M (SD)	M (SD)
Role transitions	2.98 (.55)^b	2.89 (.58)^a	3.01 (.54)^b	3.48 *
Norm compliance	2.97 (.62)^c	3.37 (.51)^b	3.53 (.46)^a	105.37 ***
Family capacities	3.38 (.56)^b	3.39 (.53)^b	3.52 (.51)^a	7.39 ***
Intrapersonal competence	3.23 (.53)^b	3.18 (.49)^b	3.34 (.50)^a	8.15 ***
Interpersonal competence	3.76 (.29)^c	3.66 (.36)^b	3.82 (.32)^a	15.69 ***
Sexual experience	2.10 (.67)	2.06 (.67)	2.05 (.67)	.70

Note. Means in the same row with differing subscript letters are significantly different from one another based on least significant differences post hoc analyses.

* p < .05, ** p< .01, *** p < .001.

Results revealed a significant parental gender by emerging adult gender interaction for intrapersonal competence (F(2, 832.76) = 4.02, p < .05), and interpersonal competence (F(2, 867.64) = 12.03, p < .001. To examine how differences might exist as a function of gender of the child and gender of the parent, contrast follow-ups were used. Three contrasts were conducted for each interaction – the first comparing male and female emerging adults, the second comparing fathers of emerging adult men and fathers of emerging adult women, and the third comparing mothers of emerging adult men and mothers of emerging adult women. For intrapersonal competence, only the second contrast revealed significant differences, with fathers of emerging adult men (M =3.25) rating intrapersonal competence more important than did fathers of emerging adult women (M =3.12), t(344) = 2.36, p < .01. For interpersonal competence, the first and the third contrasts revealed significant differences, with emerging adult women (M =3.82)rating interpersonal competence as more important than did emerging adult men (M =3.70), t(523) = −4.42, p < .001, and mothers of emerging adult men (M =3.86) rating interpersonal competence as more important than did mothers of emerging adult women (M =3.77), t(419) = 2.32, p< .05.

Discussion

The results suggested many differences between parents and emerging adults on all dimensions of marital horizon theory. One overarching pattern identified in this study was that there is widespread support among parents for the delay of marriage by their children. Emerging adults placed greater importance on marriage, had a stronger desire to marry now, and had an earlier ideal age of marriage than parents did. Although emerging adults in the current sample reported a similar ideal age of marriage as was found in previous studies (Carroll et al., 2007), parents reported a later ideal marital timing than typical emerging adults. One possible explanation may be that parents endorse later marriage in an effort to promote education and improve their child’s chances for a successful marriage. Another explanation may be that parents wish to delay adult transitions for their children in a desire to maintain equilibrium in their relationships. Other scholars have discussed how parents and emerging adults in some parent-child relationships may attempt to slow adult transitions during emerging adulthood, labeling this phenomenon reciprocal relational advantage (Scabini & Cigoli, 2000). This term acknowledges that both emerging adult children and parents may still benefit from the relationship well into young adulthood and the perception of relational rewards may hinder emerging adult autonomy. One way this may express itself among parents is through a desire for their emerging adult children to delay adult transitions, such as marriage.

The finding that parents of the emerging adults in our sample reported a later ideal age for marriage when compared with their emerging adult children also shows that, contrary to the common stereotype that parents are anxious for their emerging adult children to marry, parents’ ideal age for marriage is actually almost a full year later than the ideal age reported by their children. Although we were unable to assess if these hopes for delay are actively being expressed to emerging adults, it does suggest that many parents are likely encouraging and promoting a delay in marriage for their children, perhaps providing parental pressure that may explain why emerging adults desire to marry by the mid-20s but most will not marry until their late 20s (Johnson & Dye, 2005).

The potential ramifications of delaying marriage have been researched and discussed by Carroll and colleagues (2007). These scholars found that emerging adults with a desired age for marriage above 24 years old engaged in more risk behaviors than did emerging adults with an earlier marital horizon. This finding suggests that there may be a certain degree of anticipatory socialization (Burr, Day, & Bahr, 1993) as young people feel they are getting closer to marriage. Emerging adults who still view marriage as a distant event continue to engage in risk behaviors, whereas emerging adults who view marriage as a proximal event increase their compliance with adult social norms. Within this context, the later desired age of marriage and lower amount of importance placed on marriage among parents has a potentially paradoxical implication. Most parents may endorse later marriage in an effort to improve their child’s chances for a successful marriage. However, this delay in marriage may lead to a delayed transition to adult social norms, thereby extending young people’s participation in risk behaviors that have been linked to poor marital outcomes (e.g., having multiple sexual partners, cohabitation, substance abuse). Future studies should assess the motivations behind the attitudes held by parents to determine the explicit and implicit messages being sent by parents to their children regarding marital plans and timing.

Emerging adults and their parents reported both similarities and differences in their criteria for marriage readiness. Both emerging adults and their parents placed a very high emphasis on interpersonal skills as criteria needing to be met before one is ready to marry. However, criteria within the norm compliance scale marked a notable discrepancy between emerging adults and their parents, with parents placing a greater premium on compliance. This discrepancy revealed not only a higher preference by parents for emerging adults to have high norm compliance before marriage, but also that a significant minority of emerging adults no longer view reduced risk-taking as a requirement for marriage. Specifically, our data show that one in four young adults do not believe that avoiding illegal drugs is necessary before being marriage ready. Nearly one in two stated that avoiding becoming drunk is not a necessary criterion for marriage. Finally, 17% of emerging adults agreed that avoiding drunk driving is not necessary in order to be ready for marriage. Given that alcohol and drug use are established risk factors for marital outcomes (Heyman, O’Leary, & Jouriles, 1995), these new trends in emerging adults’ attitudes may lead to less anticipatory socialization in future generations. These findings also mirror previous research which found that emerging adults’ parents and emerging adults differ in the importance placed on norm compliance as a criterion for adulthood (Nelson et al., 2007). Emerging adults rate norm compliance as less important than their parents as a criteria for both adulthood and marriage readiness, suggesting that strong generational differences may exist in the perceived importance of shifting norm compliance behavior prior to transitioning into adult roles.

One notable non-scaled difference was found in the area of cohabitation. Nearly one-third of all emerging adults stated that living with one’s partner is a necessary prerequisite for marriage whereas only 14% of parents agreed that cohabitation was necessary. Given the recent documentation of the popularity of cohabitation as a precursor to marriage for many emerging adults (Kennedy & Bumpass, 2008; Knox, Zusman, Snell, & Cooper, 1999), it appears that the decision to cohabit may be a particularly strong source of disagreement between parents and children as the two generations hold markedly different attitudes toward cohabitation.

This study included many limitations, including a sample which consisted of college students who may not be representative of all emerging adults, the use of extra credit possibly creating a biased sample, and using measures of central tendency which meant individual scores of emerging adults and their parents were not considered. Further research is needed to investigate levels of congruence in marital horizons between parents and children within the same family. Consensus around marital timing and pathways toward marriage may be a particularly salient feature of parent-child relations during this period of life.

Despite these limitations, the current study has several strengths that enhance our understanding of marital attitudes among both emerging adults and parents. Our unique data collection mechanism allowed us to collect data from a cohort of both current emerging adults and current parents. Additionally, our analytic technique allowed us to control for family dependence and assess generational differences between emerging adults and emerging adult parents. This allowed for an examination of generational differences in how emerging adults and their parents view marriage and marriage preparation. These differences are important as they will likely influence both generational relationships and continually changing marital transition trends in future generations.

The findings of this study also suggest important avenues for future research. First, a longitudinal study may be informative in deciphering whether group differences are due to a generation effect or life course differences. Longitudinal analysis would allow us to understand if emerging adults’ parents are truly different from their emerging adults in terms of conceptualizing marriage or if emerging adults, as they age and transition to parenthood themselves, will eventually adapt similar marital attitudes with regard to their own emerging adult children. This study also suggests a continued need to investigate similarities and differences among parents’ and emerging adults’ values, beliefs, and attitudes to determine how generational relationships continue to influence both parties past adolescence and into adulthood. Although recent research suggests that emerging adults internalize the marital attitudes of their parents (Willoughby et al., 2012), more research is needed to examine how much emerging adults are aware of and accept the marital attitudes of their parents. It is also unknown if these differences or similarities in marital attitudes or other areas might influence relational outcomes between parents and children, or even relational outcomes for emerging adults as they transition to marriage and other long-term relational unions. Finally, although the present study found many differences and similarities between parents and their emerging adult children on marital horizon factors, the marital attitudes of both groups would likely differ by relational context and experiences. Dating status for emerging adults and marital status for parents would likely change outlooks toward marriage and future research should consider how relational experiences, both past and present, may change differences between parents and emerging adult children on assessments of marital attitudes.

Footnotes

Funding

This research received no specific grant from any funding agency in the public, commercial, or not-for-profit sectors.

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