Making meaning of significant events in past relationships

Abstract

Romantic relationship dissolution is among the most stressful events that a person can experience. However, variability exists in the experience of a breakup and its impact on mental health. This study employed a mixed methods approach to understand how newly single people make meaning of significant events in their previous relationships through narrative and the resulting implications for their mental health. Participants were 146 men and women who became single during the course of a 4-wave longitudinal study of relationships and well-being. When asked to write narratives of the most significant event in their prior relationships, participants most frequently wrote about turning points, low points, and decision events. Narratives were not exclusively focused on the breakup itself. Narrative content was predictive of an adaptive resolution of significant events in prior relationships—via positive affective tone of narrative endings—which was in turn predictive of depression in the year after breaking up with a partner. Findings suggest that how people make meaning of events in prior relationships through narrative explain important individual differences in mental health in singlehood. Implications for relationship science, as well as counseling and clinical interventions, are discussed.

Keywords

Breakup depression dissolution intimacy mental health mixed method narrative romantic relationships

As we move throughout our lives, we start, maintain, and end relationships with significant others, some of whom are romantic partners. The events we experience with our romantic partners—the highs, lows, and turning points of couplehood—have a significant influence on who we are, particularly in regard to the development of self and identity (Arnett, 2000; Josselson, 2007). Just like general life events, we learn and grow from events in our relationships. Thus, the meanings we make of events in our relationships shape who we are in the present as well as who we hope to become in the future (Conville, 1997; Frost, 2013; Koenig Kellas, 2005).

However, many romantic relationships end. Relationship dissolution events (e.g., breakups and divorces) are inherently stressful life events (Chung et al., 2002, 2003; Dohrenwend, Raphael, Schwartz, Stueve, & Skodol, 1993; Holmes & Rahe, 1967), because they produce a significant amount of change in people’s daily lives. These changes are often challenging and require adaptation in order to cope with their potentially negative effects. Given the challenging and stressful nature of relationship dissolution, on average, newly single individuals report greater levels of psychological distress and worse depression than partnered individuals (e.g., Rhoades, Kamp Dush, Atkins, Stanley, & Markman, 2011; Wade & Pevalin, 2004; for a review see Hunt & Chung, 2012).

The ways in which newly single people make meaning of significant events from their prior relationships is the focus of the current study. By understanding the nuances of how newly single individuals make meaning of significant events from their prior relationships, researchers and clinicians can gain important insights into the process of psychological adjustment in the stressful transition to becoming single. Thus, the ways in which newly single people make meaning of their prior relationships may provide significant insights into the effects of relationship dissolution on depression in singlehood.

Narrative meaning making

One central mechanism by which people make meaning of significant events in their lives is through the construction of life story narratives. Human thought and behavior are shaped by people’s memories of what happened in their past in relation to their perceived present circumstances and imagined futures, all of which are organized, told, and retold in the form of stories (e.g., Bruner, 1991). Narrative approaches to research within psychological and communication science focus on how people construct narratives that integrate their understandings of themselves in the context of their lives, thus revealing what “lie(s) at the heart of meaning making” for individuals and their own life experiences (Singer, 2004, p. 442). The past two decades have witnessed an increase in attention paid to the importance of narrative meaning making and its impact on the development of the self and psychological well-being (e.g., Adler, 2012; Hammack, 2008; McAdams, 2006; McAdams & Pals, 2006; McLean, Pasupathi, & Pals, 2007; Thorne, 2000). Indeed, aspects of narrative meaning making, such as the thematic content and narrative structure of individuals’ life stories, can be indicative of whether and how they positively negotiate or fail to make sense of difficult life experiences. Positive aspects of narrative meaning making (e.g., redemption stories and stories with positive endings) may therefore be indicative of more positive mental health outcomes, as opposed to narratives that lack coherence and focus on negative outcomes (e.g., Cox & McAdams, 2014; Pals, 2006; Zinbarg, Uliaszek, & Adler, 2008).

A focus on narrative meaning making has also emerged in relationship science. Namely, the narratives individuals tell themselves and others about their interpersonal romantic relationships further serve to provide them with a sense of meaning regarding their relationships (Conville, 1997; Fiese & Grotevant, 2001; Frost, 2013; Koenig Kellas, 2005). Relationship stories represent individuals’ attempts to construct meanings of their experiences of intimacy with their relationship partners. Just as in the broader context of life story narratives, this is achieved via processes central to the telling and retelling of significant events in one’s relationship by weaving together experiences of emotional, communicative, and/or physical intimacy within a complex narrative framework (Frost, 2013; Koenig Kellas, 2005).

Narrative meaning making and adjustment to relationship dissolution

Integration of these important theoretical and empirical advancements across personality and relationship science has the potential to usefully inform how narrative meaning making functions in the experience of breaking up with a romantic relationship partner and the resulting implications for depression among newly single individuals. Within the context of romantic relationship dissolution, narratives about significant events experienced with previous partners represent attempts to make meaning of past relationships within individuals’ present circumstances and imagined futures. Research on relationship dissolution broadly includes communicative approaches to understanding a breakup (Duck, 1982; Koenig Kellas & Manusov, 2003; Weber, Harvey, & Stanley, 1987), turning point and trajectory analysis in romantic partnerships (Masheter, 1997; Koenig Kellas, Bean, Cunningham, & Cheng, 2008), and the structure of breakup accounts (Weiss, 1975; Wigren, 1994). While this research has provided a more nuanced understanding of the stages, structures, and outcomes associated with relationship dissolution, it focuses nearly exclusively on the act of breaking up and negative or traumatic events individuals recount of their past romantic partnerships. Although narrative meaning making of negative events with past relationship partners is likely important for one’s present and future well-being, individuals’ subjective determination of significant experiences in prior relationships may not be limited to the negatively valenced events on which research has primarily focused. Indeed, an understanding of varied forms of narrative meaning making, focusing on both positive and negative events, is needed to further understand how significant experiences within past relationships impact depression after a breakup (Cox & McAdams, 2014). For example, recounting positive aspects of a past romantic relationship through expressive writing can produce psychological benefits such as increased contentment, life satisfaction, and confidence (Lewandowski, 2009). Positive emotions associated with the retelling of relationship dissolution are indicative of heightened well-being and the potential for future self-growth (Fredrickson & Joiner, 2002). Conversely, focusing on negative emotions in written narratives of past relationships is associated with grief (Boals & Klein, 2005). Therefore, aspects of the stories that people construct about their previous relationships may shape depression post-breakup. However, research has not yet investigated what kinds of events and narratives emerge as significant when newly single individuals are given the opportunity to subjectively reflect on what they deem to be the most significant events in their prior relationships.

Narrative meaning making and mental health

Beyond a focus on relationship dissolution, the content of the narratives individuals construct about significant life events (i.e., what the narrative is about and what words are used its construction) has been shown to correspond to indicators of mental health and well-being across multiple domains (Blagov & Singer, 2004; Mansfield, McLean, & Lilgendahl, 2010; McAdams & Bowman, 2001; McLean & Pratt, 2006). In other words, the presence of certain types of themes that make up the substance of narratives has demonstrated associations with indicators of mental health and psychological well-being.

In the domain of romantic relationships, narratives about significant events with one’s current partner that involve themes of intimacy (i.e., communicative, emotional, and physical closeness) are indicative of heightened states of psychological well-being and lower levels of depression among individuals in long-term romantic relationships (e.g., Frost, 2011, 2013). With regard to general life event narratives, much work has highlighted the importance of narratives with themes of redemption, defined as narratives that “begin with the protagonist’s experience of a negative emotional state …,” which subsequently “gives way to the experience of happiness, joy, excitement, growth, or some other positive emotional state” (McAdams, 2006; p. 88). The narration of redemption sequences in making meaning of significant events is associated with positive indicators of psychological well-being and mental health (e.g., McAdams, Reynolds, Lewin, Patten, & Bowman, 2001) and may be beneficial for the mental health of newly single individuals in their attempts to make meaning of significant events in their prior relationships. Conversely, the portrayal of contamination sequences—or event narratives that begin with a focus on positive experiences, which are “spoiled” or “undermined” by a negative experience (McAdams et al., 2001)—may be detrimental to mental health for newly single individuals.

In addition to narrative content, the resolution of significant event narratives may also be associated with mental health. The content of a narrative is organized in such a way as to reflect a culminating tone of the narrative, reflected in the resolution of the plot and tone of the ending of the story. In other words, how a person feels about how the event turned out is narratively constructed in the affective tone of the end of story. “Happy endings”—or stories with a positive affective ending tone—have been demonstrated to be reflective of an adaptive resolution of difficult life experiences via their positive associations with indicators of mental health and psychological well-being (Blagov & Singer, 2004; Cox & McAdams, 2014; Frost, 2013; King, 2001; King & Miner, 2000; King, Scollon, Ramsey, & Williams, 2000; McLean & Pratt, 2006). Individuals whose narratives of significant and stressful events that end in positive emotional states and circumstances demonstrate higher levels of psychological well-being and better mental health than individuals whose stories end negatively. Thus, individual differences in the affective tone of the ways in which narratives end may be reflective of adaptive (i.e., emotionally positive) or maladaptive (i.e., emotionally negative) attempts to resolve and make meaning of significant events in past relationships and have important implications for mental health as a newly single person.

The narrative resolution of an event—reflected in the affective tone of the story’s ending—is likely dependent on the thematic content of the story, organized by the teller in such a way as to reflect a particular affective culmination (e.g., a happy ending). For example, narratives involving redemption sequences may be more likely to have a more positive affective ending tone than stories that do not contain redemption sequences. However, some redemption sequences may emphasize personal growth (e.g., a life lesson learned) but lack a positive emotional tone (e.g., the experience was still characterized as emotionally difficult). Also stories that begin and end with the same affective tone will, by definition, not contain narrative content involving redemption or contamination sequences. Thus, although redemption and contamination sequences may be key elements of the content of narratives that are associated with the resolution of the narrative, they are not likely to be completely determinative of the resolution and may therefore be best conceptualized as related but conceptually distinct components of narrative meaning making.

The current study

Although there exists a burgeoning body of research on general life stories, relationship stories, and their centrality to the experiences of currently partnered individuals, little is known about the nature and content of narratives about significant events from relationships that have ended and the resulting implications for the mental health of newly single individuals. Important events in past relationships can have a significant role in shaping development throughout the life course (Arnett, 2000; Josselson, 2007). After ending a relationship, those events that individuals deem most meaningful from time spent with a previous relationship partner are likely to be carried forward in life and potentially shape one’s sense of purpose and meaning in the present, as well as their hopes and expectations for the future. When long-term relationships end, what types of events do newly single individuals find significant? Do they choose to focus on negative events or positive events? How do newly single individuals narratively construct meanings of significant events in prior relationships from the vantage point of their current and desired future relational selves? These are important questions that must be answered to build a useful understanding of meaning-making processes within the context of relationship dissolution along with their potential implications for the mental health of newly single individuals. In order to answer these overarching questions, the current study examined the content and structure of narratives that newly single individuals told about significant events in their previous romantic relationships using a mixed methods approach.

In Phase I of the study, we analyzed the qualitative aspects of stories told about significant events in prior relationships in order to investigate the following research questions: (a) What types of events do individuals typically narrate when asked to reflect on the most significant event in their prior relationships? (b) To what degree are significant events from prior relationships focused on breaking up with previous partners? (c) To what degree do they involve narrative content focused on intimacy and redemption?

Phase II examined the associations between narrative content, narrative resolution, and mental health—measured in the form of depressive symptoms—for newly single individuals. Figure 1 depicts hypothesized associations between narrative content, narrative resolution, and depressive symptoms. We hypothesized that thematic elements of narrative content would be predictive of narrative resolution as made evident in the affective tone of the endings of stories of significant events in prior relationships. Specifically, we hypothesized that narrative content focused on experiences of intimacy and redemptive experiences would be indicative of adaptive narrative resolution (i.e., positively valenced story endings), while narrative content focused on lacking intimacy, contamination sequences, and breaking up with a former partner would be indicative of maladaptive narrative resolution (i.e., negatively valenced story endings). Given the previously demonstrated importance of the affective tone of story endings as indicators of the positive resolution of difficult life experiences (King, 2001; King & Miner, 2000; King et al., 2000; McLean & Pratt, 2006), we further hypothesized that newly single individuals who told stories about their prior relationships that ended more positively would demonstrate fewer depressive symptoms after breaking up than individuals who told stories that ended more negatively.

Figure 1.
Hypothesized associations between narrative content, narrative resolution, and depression among newly single individuals.

Method

Participants and procedure

The current study analyzed data from individuals who participated in the Lives and Relationships Study (Frost & Forrester, 2013), a brief Internet-based survey launched in 2008 of people who were in a diversity of types of romantic relationships (e.g., heterosexual, same-sex, interracial, age-gap, monogamous, and open relationships) living in the U.S. and Canada. The study included 4 waves of data collection approximately 1 year apart (M = 370 days between waves, SD = 13). The study was initially advertised in 55 Internet venues (e.g., chat rooms, volunteer forums, and Listservs) from March through June 2008. The recruitment materials stated that the study was about “how aspects of people’s lives and relationships are related to their well-being” and was “interested in including a diverse group of people in the study regarding age, race/ethnicity, and sexual orientation.” No incentives were provided for participation; however, respondents could choose to enter into a lottery drawing for one of 20 US$100 gift certificates at each wave of data collection. Information on the larger study and sample can be found in literature (Frost & Eliason, 2014; Frost & Forrester, 2013).

Participants for the current study were those individuals from the larger study sample who ended their relationships and became newly single (i.e., ≤1 year post-breakup) at Wave 3 or Wave 4 of the study. Newly single participants were identified by their responses to a question (a) pertaining to their current relationship status (i.e., response = “single”) and (b) about whether or not they broke up with the person they were in a relationship with the last time they took the survey (i.e., response = “yes”).

A total of 146 newly single individuals were identified in the larger sample and provided valid data on the measures below for the purposes of the present analysis: 115 who became newly single at Wave 3 and 31 who became newly single at Wave 4. Participants’ data were aggregated across the two waves for the present analyses. The sample was diverse in terms of gender (65% female and 35% male), sexual orientation (70% heterosexual and 30% nonheterosexually identified), race/ethnicity (71% White and 29% racial/ethnic minority), education (68% with 4-year college degree or greater), and age (M = 33.98, SD = 11.20). In describing their prior relationships at earlier waves in the study, participants reported being with their partners for an average of 4.62 years (SD = 3.83). Additionally, 38.7% of participants reported living with their previous partners, to whom 17.2% were married or registered domestic partners.

Participants completed a measure of depressive symptoms (described later) and were asked to respond to the following narrative event prompt based on McAdams’ guided autobiography (Foley Center, 1999) and previously modified by Frost (2013) to elicit stories about events in romantic relationships. The current prompt was further modified to focus on a significant event in a participant’s previous relationship. The narrative prompt read as follows:
Please tell me about the most significant event in your PREVIOUS relationship with your last partner. In a short story please address each of the following in any order that seems right to you: What happened? Who was involved and how were they involved? What were you and/or your partner thinking, feeling, and wanting? Why do you think that this is an important event in your relationship? How do you think the society, time, and/or place this event happened in mattered for how things turned out?
Participants were asked to provide only one narrative and focus on the most significant event in their prior relationship. The meaning of “significant” was intentionally not defined in the instructions. This allowed participants to subjectively determine the type and content of the event that they deemed most significant rather than requiring participants to write about a researcher-imposed event type (e.g., the event that caused the breakup). With the exception of event type designation (provided by participants directly), the second and third authors independently coded the narratives for indicators of narrative content and resolution. Coding discrepancies were discussed and resolved in conversation with the first author in weekly meetings.

Coding and measurement

Event type designation

After writing the story in response to this prompt, participants were then asked to select “Which (if any) of the following types of experiences describes what you wrote about above? (check all that apply).” Given previous narrative research on relationship dissolution has imposed a focus on the event of the breakup itself, this subjective approach to event type designation was intended to allow participants to designate the type of event that they personally felt was most significant in their prior relationship. Response options were drawn directly from the types of events prompted within McAdams’ guided autobiography: (a) High point/peak experiences (“The best thing that happened in your relationship”), (b) low point/nadir experiences (“The worst thing that happened in your relationship”), (c) turning points (“A turning point in your relationship”), (d) continuity experiences (“A time when things stayed the same in your relationship”), (e) earliest memories (“Your earliest relationship memory”), (f) decision stories (“A decision made in your relationship”), and (g) goal stories (“A goal in your relationship”). If participants did not feel any of these types of events described their experiences, they were given the option to indicate, “None of these describe what you wrote about.”

Intimacy-related content

Narratives were coded for the degree to which they were focused on experiencing or lacking intimacy across a variety of domains. Intimacy-related content was coded using a coding scheme employed by Frost (2011, 2013, 2014). Indicators of intimacy-related content were derived from existing theories of intimacy in the context of romantic relationships (Prager, 1995). Intimacy-related content included experiences or discussions of (a) physical intimacy, (b) communicative intimacy, (c) emotional intimacy, (d) commitment, (e) trust, and (f) support and caregiving. Each story was coded for two types of intimacy-related content as an indicator of an overarching construct of the experience (or lack of experience) of intimacy. Specifically, each story was coded for the presence (1) or absence (0) for each of these six forms of experiencing intimacy and six forms of lacking intimacy. Two sum scores were created for the number of dimensions of intimacy mentioned as experienced in the narrative and the number of dimensions of intimacy mentioned as lacking in the narrative. These sum scores ranged from 0 to 6. The intraclass correlations between raters in their coding for the intimacy present and intimacy lacking summary variables were .92 and .86, respectively.

Redemption and contamination sequences

Additionally, stories were coded for redemption and contamination story content. A redemptive narrative was defined as a “bad” or emotionally negative event or circumstance that eventually leads to a “good” outcome in the form of an emotionally positive experience and/or an experience of learning or growth. The story plot moves from negative to positive valence, and the initial negative state is “redeemed” or salvaged by the good that follows it. Conversely, a contamination sequence was operationally defined as a story that begins as initially positive, but becomes spoiled or undermined by an intervening negative influence or experience. Each story was coded for the presence (1) or absence (0) of redemptive story content following the guidelines provided by McAdams, Reynolds, Lewis, Patten, and Bowman (2001), and the resulting interrater reliability coefficients for redemption and contamination sequences were κ = .76 and .44, respectively.

Breakup content

Narratives were coded for breakup story content. A narrative was defined as breakup focused if the event the participant chose to narrate was explicitly labeled in the narrative as being the cause for the end of his or her prior relationship. Participants may have alluded to peripheral factors that resulted in their breakup while recounting narratives of non-breakup–focused events. However, if the event that formed the basis for the narrative was not specifically named as the event that ended the relationship, it was not coded as breakup focused. Narratives were coded for the presence (1) or absence (0) of breakup focus, and the resulting interrater reliability was κ = .72.

Affective tone of narrative endings

Each story was scored by two independent raters for the emotional tone of the stories’ endings following the guidelines provided by McAdams and colleagues (2001). Raters were trained to determine the end of a story by first reading the entire narrative and then establishing the chronological end of the story, which may not necessarily have been the last sentence in the written text. Raters each scored the emotional tone of each of the story endings on a scale ranging from 1 = “extremely negative ending” to 3 = “neutral” to 5 = “extremely positive ending.” The intraclass correlation between the independent ratings was .81.

Depression

Depression was assessed in the form of symptoms of depression using the short form Center for Epidemiological Studies–Depression (CESD) Scale (Andresen, Malmgren, Carter, & Patrick, 1994; Radloff, 1977). The CESD short form is a 10-item measure of depressive symptoms experienced over a 1-week period. Participants were asked how often during the past week they “could not get going,” “felt depressed,” “felt hopeful about the future,” and “felt people dislike you.” They responded on a 4-point scale ranging from 1 = “rarely or none of the time (<1 day)” to 4 = “most or all of the time (5–7 days).” Numerous studies have demonstrated the convergent validity of the CESD among both clinical and nonclinical samples (for a review of validity evidence see McDowell & Newell, 1996; Roberts & Vernon, 1983). Internal consistency for scores on the CESD in the current study ranged from .85 to .87 over Waves 3 and 4 of the study. The present analysis includes depression scores in the study wave after participants broke up with their previous partners (i.e., depression post-breakup) and in the preceding study wave before participants broke up with their previous partners (i.e., depression pre-breakup).

Overview of analysis

A two-phased, mixed methods approach to data analysis was used to achieve the study’s aims. A mixed-method design is characterized by the utilization of multiple qualitative and/or quantitative approaches within a unifying methodological design and interrelated set of research aims (Creswell & Plano Clark, 2007; Morse, 2003). Participants’ narratives of significant events in prior relationships were the primary unit of analysis in all aspects of the research. Statistical analyses were conducted by quantifying qualitative data (as previously described) and relating qualitative findings to additional data collected via quantitative instruments in a phased sequential mixed analysis (Collins, Onwuegbuzie, & Sutton, 2006). Phase I involved qualitative content and thematic analyses (Braun & Clark, 2006) that were first used to determine the type and content of participants’ narratives of significant experiences in previous relationships. Phase II employed quantitative path analyses to simultaneously test the study hypotheses. Given the two phases were sequentially related, details of the analyses employed in each phase are reported alongside the results for each phase in the order in which they were conducted.

Phase I results

After applying the coding and rating schemes highlighted above to each participant’s narrative of the most significant event from his/her prior relationship, we computed frequencies and percentages for the presence of each aspect of narrative content across all participants in the sample. These descriptive statistics (presented in Table 1) are included for the purposes of description and are not intended to be generalizable to the larger population of newly single individuals. We provide illustrative exemplar narratives that highlight specific findings under discussion. These narratives are reproduced directly from participants’ writing.

Table 1.
Frequency of event type by breakup focus and intimacy-related and redemptive thematic content.

Narrative content

Intimacy-related thematic content

Total Breakup focus Redemption sequences Contamination sequences Present only Lacking only Both present & lacking

ET f %Total f %ET f %ET f %ET f %ET f %ET f %ET

High point (best thing) 25 17.2 15 60.0 8 32.0 2 8.0 7 28.0 7 28.0 11 44.0

Low point (worst thing) 66 45.5 52 80.0 9 13.6 4 6.1 2 3.0 30 45.5 33 50.0

Turning point 56 38.6 34 60.7 11 19.6 1 1.8 13 23.2 25 44.6 17 30.4

Continuity 6 4.1 2 2.1 1 16.7 0 0.0 3 50.0 1 16.7 2 33.3

Earliest event 8 5.5 2 25.0 0 0.0 1 12.5 4 50.0 0 0.0 3 37.5

Decision 65 44.8 50 78.1 13 20.0 4 6.2 5 7.7 29 44.6 30 46.2

Goal 4 2.8 1 25.0 0 0.0 1 16.7 3 75.0 0 0.0 1 25.0

None 3 2.1 2 66.7 1 33.3 0 0.0 0 0.0 2 66.7 1 33.3

Total f & % 94 65.3 22 15.1 6 4.1 25 17.1 64 43.8 54 37.0

Note. ET = event type. %ET indicates the percentage of a particular event type containing a given narrative element. Participants may have classified an event as more than one event type. As a result, row totals do not add up to 100%.

Event types

In order to answer our first research question pertaining to the types of events that participants narrated as most significant in their prior relationships, we examined the frequency of participants’ self-designated event types (see Table 1). The four most frequent event types included low point events, decision-oriented events, turning point events, and high point events. Examples of these types of events are presented in the following sections alongside analyses of the content of participants’ narratives.

Breakup content

Across the types of events participants wrote about, many, though not all, were focused on the event of the breakup itself (Table 1). The types of events that most often included a focus on the breakup experience itself were low point events, decision events, and turning point events (and even high point events). A straight-identified Caucasian female, age 53, discussed the end of her marriage in this narrative that she classified as a low point:
The most significant thing in my last relationship of over 20 years was his abandonment of me and our children. I came home from a meeting for one of my children and all of his belongings were gone and he had left a typewritten note and a pile of money saying he felt satisfied that our marriage was over. Never telling me that there was a problem. He seemed very detached and uncaring. Overnight, he went from best friend, caring husband to angry, uncaring, antagonistic enemy. It was a very difficult shock for all of us. This was so important as not only did it end our marriage and relationship but it was totally out of character and a complete betrayal of our relationship. It was definitely the very last thing I had ever expected.
In this example, the most significant event in this woman’s marriage was the surprising and devastating way in which it ended. This event is focused on the moment of the breakup: the actual point of dissolution in her marriage. She described her husband’s leaving as a complete surprise, without an explicit discussion of the factors that may have contributed to his decision (although they were reflected in the note). Interestingly, this narrative contains thematic reference to the presence of intimacy experienced between her and her husband while also explicitly stating the lack of intimacy through the withdrawal and cruelty perpetrated by her husband in his abandonment of the family. This tension between both experiencing and lacking intimacy was common, as further evidenced in the following examples.

Intimacy-related content

Intimacy-related content was common throughout participants’ stories of significant events in their prior relationships, regardless of event type. Only 2.1% of the sample did not tell a story that involved intimacy-related thematic content. However, the representation of the type of intimacy-related thematic content varied across story type (see Table 1). For example, most event narratives involved simultaneous narration of experiencing intimacy and lacking intimacy in prior relationships. This was true of high point stories, low point stories, and decision stories. A 21 year-old gay-identified Caucasian male discussed experiences of intimacy in a high point event within a previous relationship:
I had met him through my Mom, after she created a Craigslist posting without my knowledge. She told me, and sent me the responses that were reasonable, none of the typical posts from Craigslist dealing with sex. We spoke with each other on the phone and on the Internet and he just made my heartthrob. The day I met Rob, I felt disappointed … not just because of his age and appearance, but with my feelings of making superficial images in my mind, however I did not let my disappointment show. After all, I’m far from being thin, good-looking, and attractive but like they say, never judge a book by its cover. We had already knew a lot from each other when we had talked over 2 weeks. This being a serious commitment to my love life, I still had passion for him. He was an ideal person that I should have had in my life … but later on that proved it was too soon.
In their meeting over the Internet, this man described the initial experiences of intimacy that were achieved through their communication and self-disclosure. However, when they moved their relationship off-line, there was a lack of a physical connection between the two. Despite this lack of physical attraction, the participant was able to prioritize the intimacy built in their initial conversations, although this did not prove enough to make the relationship last.

Within turning point events, participants most commonly wrote narratives that focused solely on lacking intimacy, as exemplified by the experiences of a Caucasian 43-year-old bisexual-identified female:
My mother was diagnosed with aggressive cancer. During the same period, my son from a previous relationship was experiencing drug issues. My granddaughter was sent to her other grandparents due to issues of my orientation. My partner was not as supportive of cultural issues and wanted me to terminate contact with my granddaughter. As my mother’s cancer progressed, my partner was nonparticipatory, and due to distance and the relevant issues, the relationship dissipated. My mother recently passed due to cancer.
Although least common overall, stories that focused solely on experiencing intimacy were proportionally most common within goal, continuity, and earliest memory event narratives. A Caucasian straight-identified female, age 52, shared her experience of what she categorized as a the high point of her prior relationship:
We took a road trip together for about 5 days. We had stopped to take pictures at a landmark and were sharing a moment of awe of the beauty of the mountains. Just myself and my partner were mainly involved, though we encountered many strangers during the trip. We were both feeling inspired and breathless by the beauty of the nature around us and wanted to stay longer than we could. This event indicated to me a clear sharing of values. The timing of the event was significant in the eventual outcome as we had both had very emotionally turbulent years.
This woman’s experiences of intimacy are evident in the shared experience of the vacation she took with her partner. The vacation gave them an opportunity to develop communicative intimacy, as exemplified in their discussion of “shared values” and supportive processing of prior struggles that they had experienced together and individually. Unlike in the previous two exemplar narratives, this experience is not narrated in such a way that contains a lack of intimacy (either alone or in combination with experiences of intimacy), which was more common among participants in the sample.

Redemption and contamination sequences

In general, redemptive content was not common among the stories participants told about significant events in their previous relationships (see Table 1). One example of a turning point story involving redemptive content is the following narrative shared by a Caucasian straight-identified male, age 24:
Seems kind of weird, but breaking up. We had tried to keep on making the relationship work and a long distance on and off again relationship was just too burdensome. We tried to patch things up at a music festival, but ultimately decided a week later that it would be best for both of us to move on and remain friends. She was wanting to move on and experience new things and I was ready to start my career. It’s an important even in the relationship because it ended a stressful situation but allowed me to grow as an individual. Time and place didn’t really matter, but I think society, which was has become more accepting of women and their concerns/hope/fears for the better. IN this instance she was feeling held back and that now society would let her be the strong independent woman she wanted to be.
In this example, redemptive narrative content was found in his recognition of the growth that he had experienced as a result of ending the stressful relationship with his partner. Furthermore, this narrative had a collective referent of redemptive outcomes: his former partner is now free from the limitations to her independence that their relationship constructed. It is important to note that even though there were redemptive sequences present in this narrative (i.e., growth), it did not necessarily have an ending characterized by extreme positive affect.

Contamination sequences were also infrequently narrated by participants (Table 1). One of the few examples can be found in the following story from a Caucasian straight female, age 27:
The guy I was dating had just lost the job he was interviewing for. Our relationship went from complete hope of the future to him being depressed about having nothing to look forward to. He started to turn inward and distant. He felt sorry for himself and ultimately ended the relationship because even though he said I was everything he thought he wanted, he couldn’t see a future. He wanted to be able to provide things in a relationship that someone who was unemployed could not.
It is important to note that the sequence of references to positive and negative experiences that characterize this event as a contamination sequence are based on chronological order, not necessarily the order in which they are narrated. Specifically, the trajectory from complete hope for a shared future with her partner to the end of the relationship due to her partner’s unemployment is the downward narrative turn that characterizes the contamination thematic content in this story, despite the fact that the story itself begins with reference to an unwanted experience.

Phase II results

The positive resolution of the transition from a previous relationship to singlehood was hypothesized to manifest in the affective tone of the endings of participants’ stories of significant events in previous relationships. Specifically, events that were narrated in ways that ended more positively were thought to represent adaptive resolutions of this transition, while those that ended more negatively were thought to indicate less-than-optimal resolution of this transition. In order to understand how content of event narratives impacted the tone of the story endings, as well as the impact of the tone on depression in singlehood, we tested the hypothesized path model presented in Figure 2.

Figure 2.
Path model testing the associations between narrative content, narrative resolution, and depression among newly single individuals. Note. Unbroken lines indicate components of the hypothesized model; broken lines indicate variables and paths added in the controlled model. Paths are labeled with standardized coefficients. Path coefficients in parentheses are estimated in the controlled model only. Correlations between exogenous variables and error terms for endogenous variables were estimated to improve model fit, but omitted from this figure for clarity of presentation. ^† p < .10, p < .05, p < .001.

We hypothesized that content focused on redemptive experiences and the presence of multiple forms of intimacy in prior relationships would result in more positive affective story endings, while content focused on the negative qualities of prior relationships in the form of lacking intimacy, contamination sequences, and the experience of the breakup itself would result in more negative story endings. We further hypothesized that participants who told stories that ended more positively would experience fewer depressive symptoms after breakup than those who told stories that ended more negatively. Finally, we hypothesized that the affective tone of narrative endings—as an indicator of positive resolution of significant prior relationship experiences—would mediate the association between the content of event narratives and levels of depression after breakup.

Descriptive statistics and bivariate correlations for all study variables were computed and are presented in Table 2. Path analysis in AMOS was used to conduct a simultaneous test of our hypotheses pertaining to the direct and indirect (i.e., mediated) effects of narrative meaning making of events in previous relationships on depression after breakup. Paths were specified linking aspects of narrative content (i.e., number of dimensions of intimacy being present, number of dimensions of intimacy lacking, presence of redemptive and contamination experiences, and a focus on breakup) directly to the affective tone of narrative endings. A direct path was also specified linking affective tone of narrative endings to depression after breakup. In order to address issues of directionality in the specified relationships, a second model (i.e., the “controlled model”) was tested that added a direct effect of depression pre-breakup on depression post-breakup (shown by broken lines in Figure 2), so that values of the later variable represented the change in depression from pre- to post-breakup. Aspects of narrative content were modeled as correlated with one another. Error terms were modeled for the endogenous variables of ending tone and depression after breakup. In addition to a nonsignificant χ² value, indicators of good model fit were the root mean square error of approximation (RMSEA; values below .06) and the comparative fit index (CFI; values above .95; Hu & Bentler, 1999). To examine the significance of indirect (mediated) effects, we followed the bootstrapping procedure outlined by Shrout and Bolger (2002).

Table 2.
Means, standard deviations, and correlations for study variables.

Correlation coefficients

Variable 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1. Intimacy present 1

2. Intimacy lacking −.30* 1

3. Redemption sequences −.10 .09 1

4. Contamination sequences .08 .04 −.09

5. Breakup focused −.33* .31* .07 .08 1

6. Ending tone .36* −.45* .23 −.08 −.32* 1

7. Depression post-breakup −.06 .06 −.01 .13 .05 −.29*** 1

Mean NA NA NA NA NA 2.71 10.96

Standard deviation NA NA NA NA NA 0.77 6.80

Note. Means and standard deviations are not provided for Variables 1 to 4 because they are dichotomous. Pearson correlations are reported between continuous variables, and point biserial correlations are reported for dichotomous variables.

p < .01; p < .001.

The hypothesized model (Figure 2) fit the data well, χ²(5) = 4.32, p = .50, RMSEA < .01, CFI = 1.00. A greater focus on experiences of intimacy along with the presence of redemptive content were associated with a more positive affective narrative ending tone, while a focus on the breakup and lacking intimacy was associated with a more negative affective narrative ending tone. Discussions of contamination sequences were not associated with the affective tone of the endings of participants’ narratives. Indicators of the content of participants’ stories of significant events in their prior relationships explained 36% of the variance in the affective tone of the ending of participants’ narratives. In turn, the affective tone of the endings of participants’ narratives was negatively associated with depressive symptoms. The more positive participants’ narratives of significant events in their previous relationships were, the less depressed they were in the transition to singlehood. The tone of participants’ story endings explained 8% of the variance in depressive symptoms. The direct effect of affective tone of narrative endings on depression post-breakup remained marginally significant in the controlled model including the effects of depression pre-breakup.

Indirect effects and their corresponding 95% bias-corrected confidence intervals are reported in Table 3. In the hypothesized model, statistically significant indirect effects on depression were observed for narrative content involving a focus on redemptive content, the breakup event, and both experiencing and lacking intimacy in participants’ previous relationships. The presence of contamination sequences did not have an indirect effect on depression after the breakup.

Table 3.
Indirect effects of narrative content on depression post-breakup.

Bootstrapped Bias-corrected 95% CI

Indirect paths Estimate SE Lower Upper p

Intimacy present --> Ending tone --> Depression −0.414 .053 −0.813 −0.145 .001

Intimacy lacking --> Ending tone --> Depression 0.605 .050 0.273 1.024 .001

Redemption sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression −1.578 .129 −2.976 −0.687 .001

Contamination sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression 0.468 .202 −0.416 1.734 .304

Breakup focused --> Ending tone --> Depression 0.603 .116 0.077 1.499 .024

Note. SE* = standard error; CI = confidence interval. Unstandardized estimates, SE, and bias-corrected 95% CI obtained from bootstrapping using 1,000 samples.

Discussion

The findings from the present study provide novel insight into how newly single people make meaning of significant events in their previous relationships, as well as how elements of narrative meaning making explain individual differences in mental health—specifically depressive symptoms—in the transition to singlehood. When asked to reflect on their most significant experiences from their prior relationships, people narrated a variety of event types. Most common among the types of events narrated were low points, turning points, and decision events in prior relationships. Across these event types, many included a focus on the moment in which relationships were dissolved or the point of breakup itself. However, as the present study indicates, the breakup itself is often not included when individuals reflect on the most significant aspect of their prior relationships. These findings provide an interesting complement to previous research that has emphasized the breakup event as the primary unit of analysis and assumed the breakup as the most significant event that individuals’ carry with them into the transition to singlehood (e.g., Doering, 2010; Koenig Kellas et al., 2008; Koenig Kellas & Manusov, 2003).

In addition to the variability in the type of events people focus on when narrating significant events from prior relationships, the present findings demonstrate that the narrative content of these stories varies tremendously. The majority of participants’ narratives of significant events in prior relationships focused on lacking intimacy, either in relation to or in the absence of actual experiences of intimacy with their previous partners. A focus on lacking intimacy in a prior relationship may be indicative of an attempt to create emotional distance from a prior partner and emphasize a sense of what was missing in the relationship instead of what may have been lost as a result of ending the relationship.

The narrative content of people’s stories of their significant experiences in prior relationships mattered a great deal for their depression as newly single individuals. Specifically, emphasizing redemption in prior relationships was indicative of a positive resolution at the end of a relationship and, in turn, associated with less depression after breaking up with a partner. The same was true regarding emphasis on experiencing multiple domains of intimacy in previous relationships. Alternatively, an emphasis on negative aspects when narrating significant aspects of prior relationships, in the form of a focus on lacking multiple forms of intimacy and the breakup itself, were indicative of a less adaptive resolution of the prior relationship and, in turn, more depressive symptoms after relationship dissolution. This finding provides a notable complement to findings from studies individuals currently involved in relationships tell, in which the presence of themes of intimacy is an important predictor of positive well-being (Frost, 2013; Koenig Kellas, 2005).

Ultimately, the kinds of narratives that were indicative of a positive transition to singlehood in the year after breaking up with a partner were those stories that (a) focused on the experience of multiple forms of intimacy along with lessons learned and personal growth resulting from time spent with a previous partner, and (b) did not focus on what was missing or at fault for the dissolution of the relationship itself. So perhaps what matters most for “moving on” is not a focus on what one lacked in a prior relationship but what one learned from that relationship. In this way, these aspects of narrative content and resolution are potentially illustrative of how making meaning of significant events in previous relationships can be indicative of a positive transition to becoming a single person and coping with the stress associated with relationship dissolution.

The present findings bolster the growing body of literature that demonstrates the importance and utility of studying narrative meaning-making processes for understanding the maintenance and ending of romantic relationships. Narratives provide unique qualitative insights into how people make meaning of lived experience, which can be thematically analyzed and quantified as robust indicators of well-being and mental health. The present findings also contribute to research on the narrative resolution of difficult and stressful life events (King, 2001; King & Miner, 2000; King et al., 2000; McLean & Pratt, 2006). Bridging these lines of research to a new domain (i.e., relationship dissolution), the affective tone of participants’ narratives about significant events in prior relationships emerged as an indicator of the adaptive resolution of relationship dissolution and thereby demonstrated a robust association with depression in the transition to singlehood. This mirrors findings that happy endings in narratives of difficult life experiences are generally predictive of psychological well-being (King, 2001; King & Miner, 2000; King et al., 2000; McAdams et al., 2001).

Limitations and suggestions for future research

The findings of the present study should be interpreted in light of some important limitations. Although the path analysis used to test the study’s hypotheses implied causal effects, the hypothesized effect of narrative resolution on depression post-breakup remained only marginally significant when controlling for depression pre-breakup. This finding is thus only suggestive of an influence of narrative meaning making on changes in depression associated with the transition from being in a relationship to becoming single. Less-than-desirable levels of interrater reliability (κ < .75 for contamination sequences; Cicchetti, 1994) were likely the result of infrequent code occurrence (e.g., only 4% of the stories contained contamination sequences) yet may have attenuated some of the associations in the Phase II analysis. Thus, additional research is needed to examine whether the aspects of narrative meaning making underlie changes in depression in the process of becoming single (as hypothesized) or vice versa.

The study’s design was unique in that it involved an analysis of individuals who dissolved their relationships over the course of a larger study on relationships. As a result, a sample of individuals who became recently single within a similar time frame (i.e., 1 year or less) could be studied in a “naturally occurring” manner. In doing so, the study was free from the kinds of participation biases that are common in studies of breakups, which involve direct efforts to recruit individuals who have dissolved a relationship prior to being involved in the study. However, the study design was limited in its inability to examine whether participants or their partners decided to end their relationships, which has been shown to be an important factor in negotiating the process of becoming single (e.g., Wang & Amato, 2000). Finally, although there was a substantial amount of diversity within the sample regarding participant demographics and characteristics of previous relationships, the sample was not large enough to examine whether or not such factors (e.g., gender, prior relationship length, and marital status) moderated the associations examined in the present study (e.g., Locker, McIntosh, Hackney, Wilson, & Wiegand, 2010).

Conclusions

Given the transition to singlehood is known to have important negative effects on psychological well-being and mental health, understanding how and what elements of people’s psychological negotiation of this transition may serve to bolster clinical and counseling interventions for newly single individuals. Thus, the study’s findings—emerging from an integration of narrative theory and method across psychological and communication science—have potential implications for working with people who have recently ended their relationships and are attempting to cope with the stressful life transition to being a single person. Evidence from the present study indicates that dwelling on the negative elements of prior relationships—such as the cause and experience of the breakup and the intimacy that was missing with previous partners—does not aid in the positive psychological negotiation of the transition to being single. This, in turn, can result in increased depressive symptoms. Alternatively, focusing on experiences of intimacy in prior relationships along with how one learns and grows as a person—potentially providing insight into what one would want to be different in a future relationship—are indicative of a more positive resolution of the experience of breaking up. As a result, these elements of meaning negotiation are associated with less depression as a newly single person. Cognitive and narrative therapeutic approaches to practice (Brown & Augusta-Scott, 2007; McAdams & Janis, 2004), bolstered by additional research in psychological and communication science, can potentially be employed to help newly single people make meaning of the stress related to becoming single through adaptive narrative resolution techniques (Singer, Blagov, Berry, & Oost, 2013).

			Narrative content
ET	f	%Total	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET
High point (best thing)	25	17.2	15	60.0	8	32.0	2	8.0	7	28.0	7	28.0	11	44.0
Low point (worst thing)	66	45.5	52	80.0	9	13.6	4	6.1	2	3.0	30	45.5	33	50.0
Turning point	56	38.6	34	60.7	11	19.6	1	1.8	13	23.2	25	44.6	17	30.4
Continuity	6	4.1	2	2.1	1	16.7	0	0.0	3	50.0	1	16.7	2	33.3
Earliest event	8	5.5	2	25.0	0	0.0	1	12.5	4	50.0	0	0.0	3	37.5
Decision	65	44.8	50	78.1	13	20.0	4	6.2	5	7.7	29	44.6	30	46.2
Goal	4	2.8	1	25.0	0	0.0	1	16.7	3	75.0	0	0.0	1	25.0
None	3	2.1	2	66.7	1	33.3	0	0.0	0	0.0	2	66.7	1	33.3
Total f & %			94	65.3	22	15.1	6	4.1	25	17.1	64	43.8	54	37.0

	Correlation coefficients
1. Intimacy present	1
2. Intimacy lacking	−.30***	1
3. Redemption sequences	−.10	.09	1
4. Contamination sequences	.08	.04	−.09
5. Breakup focused	−.33***	.31***	.07	.08	1
6. Ending tone	.36***	−.45***	.23**	−.08	−.32***	1
7. Depression post-breakup	−.06	.06	−.01	.13	.05	−.29***	1
Mean	NA	NA	NA	NA	NA	2.71	10.96
Standard deviation	NA	NA	NA	NA	NA	0.77	6.80

	Bootstrapped	Bias-corrected 95% CI
Intimacy present --> Ending tone --> Depression	−0.414	.053	−0.813	−0.145	.001
Intimacy lacking --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.605	.050	0.273	1.024	.001
Redemption sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression	−1.578	.129	−2.976	−0.687	.001
Contamination sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.468	.202	−0.416	1.734	.304
Breakup focused --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.603	.116	0.077	1.499	.024

Footnotes

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

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			Narrative content
									Intimacy-related thematic content
	Total		Breakup focus		Redemption sequences		Contamination sequences		Present only		Lacking only		Both present & lacking
ET	f	%Total	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET	f	%ET
High point (best thing)	25	17.2	15	60.0	8	32.0	2	8.0	7	28.0	7	28.0	11	44.0
Low point (worst thing)	66	45.5	52	80.0	9	13.6	4	6.1	2	3.0	30	45.5	33	50.0
Turning point	56	38.6	34	60.7	11	19.6	1	1.8	13	23.2	25	44.6	17	30.4
Continuity	6	4.1	2	2.1	1	16.7	0	0.0	3	50.0	1	16.7	2	33.3
Earliest event	8	5.5	2	25.0	0	0.0	1	12.5	4	50.0	0	0.0	3	37.5
Decision	65	44.8	50	78.1	13	20.0	4	6.2	5	7.7	29	44.6	30	46.2
Goal	4	2.8	1	25.0	0	0.0	1	16.7	3	75.0	0	0.0	1	25.0
None	3	2.1	2	66.7	1	33.3	0	0.0	0	0.0	2	66.7	1	33.3
Total f & %			94	65.3	22	15.1	6	4.1	25	17.1	64	43.8	54	37.0

	Correlation coefficients
Variable	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
1. Intimacy present	1
2. Intimacy lacking	−.30***	1
3. Redemption sequences	−.10	.09	1
4. Contamination sequences	.08	.04	−.09
5. Breakup focused	−.33***	.31***	.07	.08	1
6. Ending tone	.36***	−.45***	.23**	−.08	−.32***	1
7. Depression post-breakup	−.06	.06	−.01	.13	.05	−.29***	1
Mean	NA	NA	NA	NA	NA	2.71	10.96
Standard deviation	NA	NA	NA	NA	NA	0.77	6.80

	Bootstrapped		Bias-corrected 95% CI
Indirect paths	Estimate	SE	Lower	Upper	p
Intimacy present --> Ending tone --> Depression	−0.414	.053	−0.813	−0.145	.001
Intimacy lacking --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.605	.050	0.273	1.024	.001
Redemption sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression	−1.578	.129	−2.976	−0.687	.001
Contamination sequences --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.468	.202	−0.416	1.734	.304
Breakup focused --> Ending tone --> Depression	0.603	.116	0.077	1.499	.024