“I believe it’s important for kids to know they have two parents”: Parents’ experiences of equally shared parental leave in Sweden

Abstract

Mothers tend to be the primary caregivers of infants, but some governments encourage fathers to share this responsibility. The Swedish national parental insurance gives parents the opportunity to share their parental leave equally. This qualitative study explored experiences of equally shared parental leave and increased paternal involvement from the perspectives of both parents. Cohabiting mothers and fathers of 12 infants were interviewed individually. Inductive thematic analysis was used to analyze the data. Three main themes were formed: (a) holding on to equal opportunities (b) transition of responsibility and control, and (c) gaining a mutual understanding. At the time around the shift, i.e. when the father took over as primary caregiver, parents described that they were holding on to the ideal of equality despite challenges, such as various degrees of emotional strain. They also emphasized the importance of mother’s trust in the father’s parenting skills, and for the father to hold on to daily routines when taking over the caregiving responsibilities. Sharing parental leave equally appeared to enrich the couple relationship by fostering a mutual understanding of each other’s experiences. In policy and practice, both parents’ engagement in the caregiving of young children needs to be recognized as changes in parental roles and gender norms evolve in modern family life.

Keywords

Equality family policy fathers paternal involvement parental leave parenting qualitative

The roles of parents in family life are highly influenced by cultural values, which both affect and are affected by parents’ division of responsibilities. These differences in parental roles can be considered as indirectly formed by social structures through mutual transactions between multiple levels, in line with Bronfenbrenner’s (2001) bioecological theory. For instance, parenting roles are affected by factors such as employer demands, extent of paid parental leave and access to childcare (Lomazzi et al., 2019), which in turn affect the time spent with the child and the parent-child relationship. The extent of paternal involvement in the care of children during the infant period varies between and within countries (Koslowski et al., 2019). Since more than four decades, Sweden’s social policy encourages close child-parent relationships with both parents by enabling parents to share their parental leave equally (Ma et al., 2019). Today Swedish fathers use 30% of the 480 benefit days afforded the couple for each child (Försäkringskassan, 2020). Yet knowledge is limited about how parents’ division of parental leave make imprints in the dynamics of family relationships and the influence on parental roles from both parents’ perspectives (Rehel, 2014). Psychological research on what happens within the family when fathers become primary caregivers in the context of equally shared parental leave is scant (O’Brien & Wall, 2017).

This qualitative study explores experiences of equally shared parental leave from the perspectives of 24 Swedish parents of 12 infants, with a focus on the shift in caregiving when mothers on parental leave returned to work and fathers took over the primary caregiving responsibility. The study may contribute to further understanding of the personal and relational meaning of sharing parenting leave equally, and the influence of equal sharing on parental roles and interactions. The topic of the study highlights how preconditions in family policy may influence early family life, relevant for policymakers and professionals supporting families in healthcare settings. The paper provides a brief description of the context relevant to the Swedish parental leave system, and previous research is summarized with a focus on fathers’ involvement, parental responsibilities, and parents’ division of parental leave from a psychological perspective.

Social policy promoting increased paternal involvement

The ideal of equality, which is strong in the Nordic countries, embraces for women and men to share parental responsibilities. In Sweden, 90 of the 480 days of total paid parental leave are reserved for each parent, while remaining days can be divided according to the parents’ needs and preferences (Försäkringskassan, 2020). Fathers’ access to a period of parental leave makes most fathers use some parental leave, mainly starting 13 to 15 months after childbirth (Duvander & Löfgren, 2019). Although Swedish fathers enjoy better financial support than fathers in most other countries and have the legal right to longer paid parental leave, the main portion of all parental leave is still taken by mothers (Försäkringskassan, 2020; Koslowski et al., 2019). Factors commonly used to explain this skewed distribution of parental leave include career-related, financial, gender role attitudes, and practical issues (Almqvist et al., 2011; Lomazzi et al., 2019). However, fathers’ share of all parental leave taken has grown to 30% in 2019 from 20% in 2005 (Försäkringskassan, 2020). About 18% of Swedish parents today share their parental leave equally (each parent taking at least 40% of the leave) (Försäkringskassan, 2020).

Parental gender equality in family life relates both to involvement in caregiving and responsibility for household work (Almqvist & Duvander, 2014; Duvander et al., 2017). As expected, gender-equality oriented men tend to take longer parental leave (Duvander, 2014). However, in two Swedish studies (Bekkengen, 2002; Duvander et al., 2017), the desire to establish a close relationship with the child seemed to be a stronger reason than gender equality for the fathers’ decision to go on parental leave.

Fathers parenting young children

The father’s role as caregiver has been accentuated lately, as men in several countries are taking increasing responsibility for the direct care of their young children and are generally spending more time interacting with their children than in the past (Johansson, 2011; Pleck, 2010). The concern that fathers may not be as well-suited as mothers for caregiving has been disputed, as no significant differences have been found between mothers’ and fathers’ ability to provide secure, warm interaction and respond to a child’s needs (Lamb & Lewis, 2010). However, mothers still tend to get a head start into parenthood as they commonly spend more time with the infant, thereby acquiring more caregiving experience (Doucet, 2004).

Fathers’ articulated desire to become more involved in the care of their children has been described as child-oriented masculinity (Bekkengen, 2002). The theoretical framework concerning parental responsibilities and father’s involvement in the care of the child is discussed and not fully developed (Doucet, 2015; Pleck, 2010). The concept of paternal involvement describes fathers’ positive engagement and other important aspects of fathering, including warmth, responsiveness and control in terms of monitoring and decision-making (Pleck, 2010). The definition of paternal involvement also includes two auxiliary domains: indirect care and process responsibility (Pleck, 2010). Although these domains reflect how fathers provide life opportunities and preconditions to meet the child’s needs, they do not necessarily involve direct interaction with the child. Doucet’s (2015) definition of parental responsibility highlights a set of emotional, community and moral responsibilities, which are reflected through parents’ caregiving, how parents provide life opportunities for their child, and relate to social values and gendered norms of parenting. The way parents share responsibilities and relate to each other is referred to as coparenting (Feinberg, 2003).

Based on Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological theory, Cabrera et al. (2014) suggested an expanded model for understanding paternal influences in terms of reciprocal dynamic systems in which parent and child affect each other. Fathers’ involvement in childcare has turned out to have a positive influence not only on fathers themselves but also on their families, including on the child’s social, behavioral and psychological development and well-being (Plantin et al., 2011). Both fathers’ early engagement and positive attitudes toward paternal involvement are related to a more equal sharing of responsibilities within families, and are related to mothers’ positive attitudes toward fathers’ initiatives in terms of “gate opening behaviour” (Olsavsky et al., 2019).

Sharing parental leave

In families where mothers and fathers share the parental leave, both parents’ sense of confidence and trust in their parenting skills improve (Gislason & Eydal, 2011; Rehel, 2014). An association between the extent of fathers’ parental leave and their involvement in childcare later on has been found, indicating that fathers who take longer periods of parental leave also tend to work fewer hours when their children are older (Haas & Hwang, 2008). They also engage more in childcare tasks, are more likely to occasionally have the sole responsibility, and report higher satisfaction with their contact with the child (Almqvist & Duvander, 2014; Haas & Hwang, 2008). Furthermore, fathers who share parental leave equally with their partner perceive less parenting stress than those who share unequally (Lidbeck et al., 2018). Also, studies on parents’ experiences of shared parental leave have suggested that having similar experiences and shared responsibilities increased parents’ understanding of each other’s everyday life (Almqvist et al., 2011; Duvander et al., 2017).

Aims and scope

There is a lack of studies on how parents experience the sharing of parental leave (O’Brien & Wall, 2017). Despite the fact that Sweden’s generous family policy gives parents the opportunity to share the parental leave equally, fathers’ and mothers’ experiences of shifting caregiver roles remain underexplored. It is important to better understand how couples who decide to share their parental leave equally transfer the main caregiving responsibility and how paternal involvement evolves in this context (Gislason & Eydal, 2011). This transition could be expected to be particularly noticeable as parents swap roles, i.e. when one parent hands over the main responsibility to the other parent. The actual exchange of roles may happen instantly, while the transfer of caregiving responsibility may be a longer process. The present study aimed to explore experiences of Swedish cohabiting parents who shared their parental leave equally. Specifically, it focused on the shift in caregiving, when mothers on parental leave returned to work and fathers took parental leave and entered the role as primary caregiver during the child’s first year.

Method

Participants

Mothers and fathers of infants were recruited from four child health clinics in urban/suburban areas in southwestern Sweden. A convenience sampling strategy was used; couples who met the inclusion criteria were approached by 10 nurses at the clinics, informed about the study and asked to participate. To meet the inclusion criteria, a couple had to plan an equal division of their time on parental leave (at least a 60/40 split), and the shift in parental leave would have to have taken place before the child’s first birthday. Because paid and unpaid leave can be combined to enable parents to stay at home longer, we used parents’ self-reported time on parental leave in months instead of registered parental benefit days.

Twelve couples met the inclusion criteria and agreed to be interviewed. The 24 parents were biological parents of their infants and their ages ranged from 27 to 40 years. All participants identified as heterosexual and were married or co-habiting with their partner. The age of the 12 infants varied from 7 to 13 months when the interviews were conducted. Five couples were first-time parents and seven had two children. Eleven couples were born in Sweden and had Swedish as their mother tongue, and one couple came from south-eastern Europe. A majority were highly educated, as 21 out of the 24 parents had received a university degree and the remaining three had completed upper secondary education. One parent was unemployed and was applying for work after her parental leave. The other parents were either working or on parental leave. Eight of the mothers worked full time while the partner was on parental leave, and two worked 70%–80% of full time. One couple planned to split their parental leave 50/50 in the coming year by working 2–3 days each per week. The mothers’ mean duration of parental leave was 9.5 months (range 7.5–11.5 months) and the fathers planned to take 7 months (range 5–9 months) of parental leave on average.

Procedures

Before the interview, the parents received written information about the study and were asked to sign a consent form. The first author, a psychologist specializing in maternal and child care and with a research interest in parental leave division, conducted semi-structured interviews 6 weeks after the couple had shifted the parental leave. She had no prior relationship with the participants. The parents were interviewed individually for 30–60 minutes, mostly in the families’ homes but also at a child health clinic, according to the parents’ wishes. Most interviews were conducted at the same day for each couple. For two couples, the individual interviews were held within 4 to 6 days.

The interview guide consisted of questions regarding the incentives to share parental leave equally, experiences before and after the shift between parents, and the child’s reaction to the shift of primary caregiver. Open-ended questions were followed by prompts, and the order of the questions was guided by the parents’ narratives. Before conducting the first interview, the first author wrote down assumptions about the participants’ background, motives and experiences, following guidelines for an explorative, phenomenological approach (Patton, 2002). The interviews were recorded and transcribed verbatim.

Analysis

Interviews were analyzed using thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Data were coded on descriptive and conceptual levels using an inductive approach. The first author, coded all interviews. Five interviews were coded independently by another psychologist as part of her specialist training, and the few differences that emerged in the coding were discussed until codes were agreed upon. The descriptive codes were organized into groups, which were interpreted at a conceptual level and then sorted into preliminary themes, derived from the data. Thematic maps of themes, which were considered to capture important patterns of meaning within the data set, were discussed in a group of fellow researchers. The first author led the analysis and the organization and naming of themes and subthemes was discussed and finalized by both authors. Each theme reflected the meaning and understanding of the parents’ experiences based on the interpretation at the conceptual level of coding, inspired by a phenomenological inductive approach. QSR International’s NVivo 9.0 software (2010) was used for coding data and creating themes.

Results

In the present sample, the couples shared the parental leave equally by shifting the main responsibility for childcare from the mother to the father when the mother returned to work. Parents reflected on this shift and what it implied in terms of parenthood and the couple relationship. Three main themes (Table 1) were derived from the interviews: (a) holding on to equal opportunities (b) transition of responsibility and control, and (c) gaining a mutual understanding.

Table 1.
Main themes and sub-themes.

Main theme Sub-theme

Holding on to equal opportunities Guided by ideals

Managing ambivalence

Leaving work for family

Transition of responsibility and control Trust in the father

Fathers’ engagement facilitates the shift

Getting control by taking the main responsibility

Gaining a mutual understanding Caregiving engulfs one’s life

Role swapping leads to mutual appreciation

Holding on to equal opportunities

The first theme includes the parents’ descriptions of decisions and adjustments they made prior to and around the time of the shift between parental leave and work. The theme comprises three sub-themes (Guided by ideals/Managing ambivalence/Leaving work for family) describing how parents’ ideals are met with resistance both within the individual parent and from the surrounding environment.

Guided by ideals

Ideals served as guides and reminders for parents of what they wanted to achieve by sharing the parental leave equally. These ideals were based on thoughts about gender equality and future benefits for the parent-child relationship, the couple relationship, themselves, and their working life. All parents described that they based their decision to share the parental leave equally on the premises that both parents wanted to be involved and have a close relationship with the child. Both parents in the couples emphasized positive expectations that the infant would feel stronger trust in the father as a result of his parental leave. One father explained that he had no role model in his close network of family or friends who had shared parental leave equally. Yet, he was convinced of the positive influence a longer period of leave would have on the future relationship with his children, when asked about his motives to share equally:
Of course to get to know the kids. But also to make sure they feel they have a daddy, who doesn’t just kiss them goodnight and says hello at breakfast. I believe it’s important for kids to know they have two parents. It’s great if both parents can stay at home as much as possible. Different factors may affect this, but it’s important, really important. (Father of a 11-month-old and a 4-year-old; 7 months of leave after mother’s 10 months of leave)
The fathers expressed looking forward to the period of being their infant’s caregiver. In contrast, mothers described a mix of emotional strain and resistance together with positive expectations, when asked about their feelings on their decision to share leave equally. In the process of preparation, the joint decision was given priority over these mixed emotions. One mother with an international career reflected on her ambiguous reaction:
How did you react when he said he wanted to share equally?

Well, at first I thought it was a bit difficult actually. But at the same time, I was very proud and thought it was great. (Mother of a 12-month-old; 10 months of leave preceding father’s 6.5 months of leave)
The mothers emphasized that fathers are equally important as caregivers and that it would be selfish of mothers not to share the parental leave. One mother with previous experience from shared parental leave talked about this period as an opportunity for personal development for both parents:
I would really advice other parents to let the father have about six months. Because even if the mother thinks it’s cosy to stay at home, if the father is not interested or thinks he’s not good at it, there is a lot to gain from it…It’s not about one of them being good at it, it’s about giving both parents the opportunity because that’s how it should be and it’s rewarding for everyone. (Mother of a 10-month-old and a 3-year-old; 9 months of leave preceding father’s 9 months of leave)
The ideals of shared responsibilities between parents also involved household chores and breadwinning, which both parents in the couples articulated when they reflected on the meaning of sharing parental leave equally. In some couples, one of the partners were more explicit in their expectations for equal sharing. However, the underlying values of gender equality seemed almost taken for granted as they were communicated implicitly. The mothers and fathers explained that the decision to deviate from the traditional division of parental leave and share it equally was an active choice that felt natural to them. Hence, the decision to share equally seemed not to provoke couple relationship conflicts, when ideals involving gender equality was put into practice. Although their decision to share the parental leave equally evoked mostly positive reactions from their social network, they also received questioning comments such as “Already?” for mothers who returned to work, and “How long?” for fathers who went on parental leave. Positive reactions seemed to confirm their choice, while negative comments were brushed aside.

Managing ambivalence

Mothers described that the process of returning to work was influenced by how much they had enjoyed being on parental leave and their expectations for their future working life. Most mothers described having mixed feelings about ending parental leave. One mother, who enjoyed being on parental leave but also wanted her career to move on, reflected on her reactions to the shift:
At first, when it was decided that I was going back to work and that it would be a bit earlier than I had planned, I almost felt like “No, is the maternity leave already over? That’s too bad!” But when I started working it felt great to be back. (Mother of a 13-month-old; 11 months of leave preceding father’s 8.5 months of leave)
Even if mothers seemed dedicated to sharing the parental leave equally, the caregiver shift evoked different kinds of emotions as they returned to work. One first-time mother described her sadness about not being able to be present when her infant took important developmental steps, but had worked out a compensatory strategy:
In the beginning I guess I felt a bit blue, but then someone said that when you get to see it (development), it will be the first time for you, for example her first steps. We try to document as much as possible so that the other one can be involved. Sometimes when I’m at work, he sends me short video clips from his phone, that’s a lot of fun. That way I can share the experiences. (Mother of a 9-month-old; 7.5 months of leave preceding father’s 5 months of leave)
For some mothers who anticipated emotional strain, the shift went smoother than expected. Once the family had settled after the shift, mothers experienced that they slept better, improving their well-being. Some mothers described the shift as a relief, as caring for the baby had been very intense. These feelings of relief were mixed with feelings of guilt, as the mothers asked themselves whether they were allowed to have such feelings. They reflected on having a more relaxed and delayed response to the infant after the shift, which they experienced as both liberating and awkward.

Most mothers described having had negative emotions around the time of the shift. They missed their children, especially in the first few days. To manage this want, they reminded themselves of the benefits for the child and the father. Some mothers described resistance to leaving in the morning, wondering how the infant would manage without them. The reunion at night was also emotionally charged. Others were surprised at how soon they were able to “forget” their baby when they were at work.

Leaving work for family

Fathers ascribed different meanings to leaving their jobs depending on how they felt about their current work situation. Some of the fathers spoke of feeling relieved to leave work because of their stressful work situation, and shared experiences such as this:
I couldn’t wait to get away from work because there was an immense load of work to do. A large number of employees had lost their jobs, but the total work load remained pretty much the same. That was also a reason for wanting to stay home. (Father of an 11-month-old and a 4-year-old; 7 months of leave after mother’s 10 months of leave)
All fathers had positive expectations and longed to be on parental leave. Some fathers expressed that the decision to take parental leave was a way of communicating to their employer the value they placed on family life. One father, working as a manager, articulated his wish to be a role model for his co-workers by showing that it was possible to take parental leave even in an executive position.

One father experienced that his workload decreased before the shift and that colleagues started referring to his upcoming absence as a reason for him not to be involved in future plans. He likened the process to being in quarantine and wondered if this was a common experience among pregnant women. Another father described colleagues complaining about their increased workload as he scaled down to part-time work. Some fathers described employers being aware of the legal right to parental leave, yet dealing with it as a problem. Other fathers described their employers as encouraging them to take parental leave, as indicated e.g. by them offering economic incentives.

Transition of responsibility and control

The second theme deals with the processes and challenges involved in the shift of childcare responsibilities between the parents. The process differed among families, with some couples transitioning gradually during a vacation or over a long weekend and others shifting more suddenly. The theme comprises three sub-themes (Trust in the father/Fathers’ engagement facilitates the shift/Getting control by taking the main responsibility) including mothers’ strategies to let go of the primary care responsibility, the importance of fathers’ engagement and the function of established routines when fathers take over the main caregiving.

Trust in the father

Mothers described how they tried to communicate that they trusted the father’s capability to take over as primary caregiver and that it was important that the father was not dependent on her direct guidance. To facilitate the confidence and freedom of the fathers to develop their own ways of parenting, mothers had to let go of control to show appreciation of the fathers’ initiatives. Mothers refrained from commenting on details, such as the fathers’ choice of child clothes, and entrusted them with freedom in various situations. As maintaining this approach was not always easy, some described it as an internal struggle to act in line with their intentions. One first-time mother reflected on the basis of her self-awareness and on strategies she needed to consider:
We talked a lot about me being a bit of a control freak. We talked about how I have to work on not commenting on the way he changes diapers. So, I won’t watch him when he takes care of the baby. I leave the room so that I won’t say anything, I definitely won’t. (Mother of a 10-month-old; 9 months of leave preceding father’s 7.5 months of leave)
For the couples, previous experiences seemed important for adjustment of their further interaction. One mother, with prior experience of not sharing equally, saw advantages when the father became more involved this time and could find strategies that suited him. She questioned her own role as the “expert parent,” and underlined the father’s freedom:
The father must be allowed to stand on his own feet and find his own way of handling things without being instructed. Who says the way I’ve been doing it is the best? (Mother of a 10-month-old and a 2-year-old; 8 months of leave preceding father’s 5.5 months of leave)
The couples seemed to communicate with each other about how to support each other’s parenting efforts. As parents described the importance of mothers stepping back, fathers also expressed a need for support from the mothers with practical issues. As one father found preparing the baby’s food stressful during the first weeks of his parental leave, the parents decided to prepare food together during the weekend.

Fathers’ engagement facilitates the shift

When asked whether they had prepared the child for the caregiver shift, not all parents seemed aware that they had made such preparations. In this matter, parents within most of the couples seemed to be less congruent in their awareness of how to prepare the infant. Nevertheless, even if mothers were more articulated than fathers about preparations to achieve a smooth shift for the child, all parents provided examples of certain preparatory steps they had taken. Fathers described that their level of engagement was already high prior to the shift. They participated in the daily care of the child when they were at home and attempted to facilitate a close father-child relationship at an early stage by engaging emotionally in the child. Prior experience of being solely responsible for the infant served as important preparation and facilitated the shift, as this father of two described:
I had even been alone with them for a weekend or two, so I was pretty much prepared for what was to come. I think it’s necessary to have some kind of introduction or “rehearsal.” (Father of a 10-month-old and a 3-year-old; 8 months of leave after mother’s 9 months of leave)
All mothers gave examples of how they offered the father opportunities to take care of the child in various situations in order to make the shift as smooth as possible. To prepare the children, some parents talked with their infant about who would be at home. One first-time father, who worked part time for 1 month while the mother returned to work on half-time to gain a smoother shift, described his awareness of the infant’s reactions to the shift of caregivers:
I’ve noticed that the transitions are easier if you talk about who would go to work, not hours but maybe five minutes in advance instead of letting it happen out of the blue. (Father of a 12-month-old; 10 months of leave after mother’s 10 months of leave)
Nevertheless, the parents’ descriptions indicated no obvious differences in the child’s reactions between different types of shifts, and the period of time during which the actual shift took place.

Getting control by taking the main responsibility

When transferring the main caregiving responsibility, daily routines served as a scaffold for the parent who had just taken over responsibility. As the routines could be explicitly communicated through schedules, some fathers used them as a basis for planning the day. Within the couples, mothers mentioned the schedule as one example of what they thought could facilitate the shift, while fathers did not clearly refer to the existing schedule as a strategy even if they used it. Nevertheless, sleep and food routines were ways of fulfilling the infant’s needs of continuity and facilitated the process of taking over the daily care.

First-time fathers in particular described the importance of spending time with the child and really getting to know each other. As the father-child relationship deepened, fathers started to realize the extent of the baby’s needs and the demands of parenthood.

The fathers experienced that being at home involved taking responsibility for the child’s short-term as well as long-term needs. Household chores were also seen as an inherent part of being at home on parental leave. The fathers of two children described the challenges of meeting the needs of both and finding a good rhythm for the older child’s sleep, food and activities. One father described the experience of settling in at home with the children as more challenging than he had foreseen, and his satisfaction when he learned to handle the situation:
I think switching the overall responsibility has really taught me something. That I had to take over everything in order to realise, to really feel it—that I’m actually quite good at managing all of this. Seeing that the kids are doing fine, even when I am the one at home. (Father of a 10-month-old and a 3-year-old; 8 months of leave after mother’s 9 months of leave)
In line with this father’s experience, parents stressed the importance of fathers carrying the main responsibility for an extended period of time in order to fully realize the challenges involved.

Gaining a mutual understanding

As a consequence of sharing parental leave equally, parents’ experiences of reversed roles after the shift was described as contributing to a better understanding of each other’s situation. The third theme comprises two subthemes (Caregiving engulfs one’s life/Role swapping leads to mutual appreciation) that concern fathers’ experiences of being the primary caregiver after the mother had returned to work, and the parents’ mutual understanding was described as enriching the couple relationship.

Caregiving engulfs one’s life

Fathers described everyday caregiving as intense and demanding in terms of emotional and practical involvement. Being at home with an infant meant few relaxed moments or opportunities to engage in other activities. One father said that he had not fully understood what it took to stay at home until after the shift:
However, now I’ve realised that it’s a lot of work, especially on days when both kids are at home. Even when the little one is napping, the older one is awake and you won’t get much time for yourself. There is always something going on, you might get her to put together a puzzle for half an hour or so, but that doesn’t give you an opportunity to lie down and rest. (//) I’ve come to realise that it’s more work than I had thought…(Father of a 10-month-old and a 4-year-old; 9 months of leave after mother’s 10 months of leave)
Most fathers gave examples from everyday situations in which they felt frustrated, irritated or tired and inadequate as a parent. To meet these challenges, the fathers tried to reduce their frustration and balance the demands by planning household chores and time together with the children. They underlined the importance of having daily routines before seeking contact with other parents on leave. Still, some fathers described a lack of intellectual stimulation. Even if fathers described different challenges, they talked about being a “good enough” parent as one way to balance their own demands and expectations both in parenting and doing household chores. Fathers tried to enjoy the time spent at home, and emphasized benefits like staying at home in the morning and being able to spend more time outdoors.

For the couple, shared caregiving responsibilities could bring some unexpected side effects on parenting roles. One father described uncertainty about roles and about who should take the main responsibility for the infant when both parents were at home during evenings and weekends. He reflected on whether he could expect to sometimes be relieved from the responsibility, which seemed challenging to his self-image as parent:
It’s actually more difficult when both of us are home. Because then you’ll come to the point when you’ll ask who will take care of the baby. Suddenly the baby becomes someone you have to take care of and that you can leave with the other parent when you want to get time for yourself. That’s a thought I find hard to deal with, the picture of yourself wanting to do other things than spending time with your baby. Am I allowed to do that? Am I burdening the other parent by doing that? (Father of a 10-month-old; 7 months of leave after mother’s 9 months of leave)
The father’s everyday experience of caregiving changed the couple’s interaction in parenting roles, which might lead to other kind of negotiations after the shift. At least he asked himself how parents’ own needs could be balanced by the couple after the shift in main caregiver responsibility.

Role swapping leads to mutual appreciation

Shared parental leave involves swapping roles, which may benefit the couple relationship. Experiencing the other parent’s everyday life was described as increasing tolerance and giving a deeper understanding of the partner. Besides parents’ direct comments on their couple relationship, the narratives described processes underpinning their conclusions on what the shift between parents meant for them as a couple. The processes they described concerning the caregiver shift involved both gains and losses for both parents. When the fathers took over the parental leave, the mothers experienced that their involvement with and closeness to the child diminished while the focus on work increased. At the same time, the father-child relationship deepened. The loss of closeness experienced by mothers was managed by reminding themselves of the long-term benefits of equally shared parental leave. As the father went on parental leave, he got to experience the intensity of daily life with an infant and, in some cases, also with siblings. Sharing the responsibility seemed to improve the sense of companionship. Moreover, it seemed to contribute to increased mutual appreciation, as it enabled the couple to relate to each other’s experiences described by one first-time mother:
I believe it benefits the relationship because it helps you understand each other and each other’s situations better. Now I understand if he is on the verge of a breakdown and wants me to take the baby when I get home from work, because he has spent the entire day with the baby. And he, in return, is able to understand if I had a bad day at work and need to talk about it. (Mother of a 13-month-old; 11 months of leave preceding father’s 8.5 months of leave)
Parents also expressed that an improved understanding of each other’s everyday life made it easier to accept a reality that is far from the ideal. This was especially important when they could not fulfil their partner’s or their own expectations. Finally, both mothers and fathers felt that the parental leave gave them a new perspective and a chance to reconsider the balance between work and family life. They seemed motivated to both cherish the time with their child and enrich the couple relationship.

Discussion

The present study explored experiences of equally shared parental leave around the caregiver shift, when fathers entered the role as primary caregiver during the infant’s first year. Swedish mothers and fathers described being guided by beliefs that sharing parental leave equally would enable closer parent-child relationships in both parents and improve equality. Fathers described the importance of routines to find their ways into caregiving, while mothers left the period of parental leave with mixed emotions. The belief that sharing parental leave equally would have positive effects helped mothers to let go of their control and instead support their partner’s caregiving and trust their parenting capability. Both mothers and fathers spoke of gaining a better understanding of each other’s experiences and reactions to the shift in responsibilities, which they experienced benefited their couple relationship.

In line with the intentions of the Swedish parental leave program, the parents’ primary motive for sharing the parental leave equally was to enable both parents to develop a close relationship with the infant, a desire also expressed in previous research on fathers’ attitudes to parental leave (Duvander et al., 2017; Johansson & Klinth, 2008). Equality in terms of professional opportunities and household responsibilities was discussed by the parents, yet, those aspects of equality appeared to be a spontaneous consequence rather than the primary reason for sharing parental leave equally and encouraging paternal involvement. Duvander et al. (2017) discussed similar findings that indicate that parents who share their parental leave equally take the gender equality norm for granted. The parents’ narratives can be understood within Bronfenbrenner’s (2001) theory of the dynamics of ecological systems, where cultural values of gender equality are turned into practice through shared parental leave and increased paternal involvement.

The influence of reciprocal transactions between ecological systems at the societal and personal levels becomes evident, as structural preconditions from social policy form the Swedish context since several decades (Ma et al., 2019; Mussino et al., 2019). Although the parents had made an active decision of not adhering to the standard, non-equal, division of parental leave, this choice seemed to feel natural. All fathers in the present study took relatively long parental leave (an average of 7 months) compared with fathers in Sweden overall (on average a little over 2 months during the first 2 years) (Duvander & Löfgren, 2019). In relation to working life most mothers expressed commitment, which is in line with previous findings (Evertson, 2013; Kaufman & Almqvist, 2017). Although previous research describes pronounced criticism and resistance from employers and others concerning fathers’ plans for their parental leave (Gislason & Eydal, 2011; Haas & Hwang, 2019), the parents in the present study reported only low levels of such resistance, which also Kaufman and Almqvist (2017) have found. Perhaps critics tend to withhold such opinions from parents, since the ideal of dual parental involvement is strong in the contemporary Swedish mind-set (Johansson & Klinth, 2008). These positive egalitarian attitudes may influence how the parents are perceived as privileged and successful in their social environment (Duvander et al., 2017).

The fathers in the present study appeared to represent a child-oriented masculinity (Bekkengen, 2002), as they all had positive attitudes to their parental leave and the opportunity to take a break from their jobs. The positive experience of being a caring father confirms previous studies conducted in similar cultural contexts with fathers taking prolonged parental leave (Duvander et al., 2017; Johansson, 2011). The cultural commitment to (unspoken) gender equality values may explain the parents’ testimony of a largely smooth caregiver shift. Both mothers and fathers underlined the importance of paternal involvement both before and after the shift in order to establish a close father-infant relationship. The fathers’ relatively high level of involvement in the caregiving before the shift is likely to have influenced the infants’ experiences of the shift and made it less abrupt.

Our findings agree to some extent with the paternal involvement construct (Pleck, 2010), even though some findings disagree. In the present study, the fathers’ direct care—as distinct from the indirect care domain—is central and appears to serve as an important bridge when the primary care of the child is transferred from mother to father. Hence, the fathers’ experiences of equally shared parental leave reflect a more direct responsibility, in contrast to solely providing material resources and more general responsibilities for the family’s needs. Our findings of fathers’ involvement are also in accordance with Doucet’s (2015) description of parental responsibilities in terms of emotional responsibility, defined as parents’ caregiving and knowledge of the child’s needs, including the ways parents assess the child’s response. Consequently, paternal involvement in the context of sharing parental leave equally seems to be related to fathers’ experiences of being emotionally and practically responsible to a high degree. The emphasis on these direct ways of caring for an infant seems to reflect contextual influences on fathers’ parenting behaviors in line with the expanded model of paternal involvement proposed by Cabrera et al. (2014).

Although the mothers’ descriptions revealed some struggles in handing over responsibility and control, the trust they had in their partners’ resources to meet their child’s needs was apparent, in line with Kaufman and Almqvist’s findings (2017). Even though the mothers approved of their partner’s involvement, most of them also expressed emotional strain related to their separation from the infant, often combined with a sense of guilt related to the relief they experienced in response to the reduction in responsibility. This is in line with how motherhood was described by Elvin-Nowak (1999), characterized by the combination of overall responsibility and guilt. The strategy of not preventing the father’s initiatives seems to correspond to the concept of “gate opening behaviour,” highlighting the importance of mothers stepping back and being less protective in order to enable increased paternal involvement (Olsavsky et al., 2019). At the same time, letting go of responsibility contradicts the traditional role of mothers (Elvin-Nowak & Thomsson, 2001).

Lamb and Lewis (2010) described the development of parenting skills as a gradual process. The fathers in the present study articulated improvements in their parenting skills as a result of their parental leave experience, but also to some extent through participation prior to the caregiver shift. This finding is in line with previous research suggesting that when fathers are spending time with their child, they are developing parenting skills (Duvander et al., 2017; Rehel, 2014). It was also evident that fathers continued to expect mothers to carry some emotional responsibility, based on her expertise in early caretaking, which is in line with Doucet’s findings (2004). A majority of the fathers experienced parental leave as more intense than expected. The various experiences related to the infant and the daily struggles seemed to increase a mutual understanding between the parents. This finding is consistent with previous findings on experiences of various forms of shared parental leave regardless of whether it is shared equally or not (Almqvist et al., 2011; Duvander et al., 2017). By taking over the role as primary caregiver, some fathers came to realize the extent to which infants depend on their parents, which may have deepened their sense of responsibility. These fathers’ awareness of their child’s needs appears to correspond to previous findings that describe mothers’ experiences of parental responsibilities as a process that continually occupies the mind (Elvin-Nowak, 1999; Elvin-Nowak & Thomsson, 2001; Rehel, 2014). The shared responsibility made parents relate to similar experiences, which in turn seemed to increase their confidence and trust in each other’s capacity as parents, in accordance with a working coparenting relationship (Feinberg, 2003). Finally, the findings may reflect underlying tendencies of an evolving fatherhood changing the construction of masculinity (Johansson & Klinth, 2008).

Strengths and limitations

The main strength of the study is the focus on both parents’ experiences, when exploring various aspects of equally shared parental leave from a relational perspective. The choice of an open, explorative approach was based on the paucity of previous studies, and the willingness to encourage parents’ own reasoning about their experiences. This non-confronting manner might hold back unspoken, less politically correct, opinions. However, the participating parents were probably positively biased since they already made a choice to share parental leave equally as well as to participate in the study. The process of independent coding and discussions of interpretations into themes were considered to improve clarity and raised the authors’ awareness of their personal preferences. To enhance trustworthiness of the findings, credibility was strived for by detailed and transparent descriptions of the participants, settings, and of the study process. Data triangulation among the authors in the analytical process, and the use of representative quotations, further enhanced credibility and reduced the risk for systematic bias. Dependability was enhanced by collecting data in a consistent manner, such as using an interview guide and covering the same topics in each interview. Transferability of the findings to other, similar, contexts also is facilitated by descriptions of the study setting and context.

One important shortcoming of the study is the homogeneous demographic background of participating parents, which possibly limits variation of perspectives. Only Swedish-speaking parents were informed about the project, and had opportunity to contribute with their narratives. The parents were predominantly of a middle-class background, and mostly highly educated. Previous research has confirmed that more highly educated men, as well as men with highly educated partners, are likely to take longer parental leave, and the reverse relationship applies to women (Försäkringskassan, 2016). A less resourceful sample might not experience the same freedom of choice and flexibility of work as the present sample of parents.

We relied on parents’ self-reported time on parental leave, and their plans to share parental leave equally. At the time for the interviews, fathers have not taken full leave and we do not know their final actual division of parental leave. Nevertheless, the opportunities for both mothers and fathers to access a period of parental leave are based on a political consensus that emphasizes the importance of parental involvement in relation to child well-being. The context of Sweden’s social policies, with a generous parental leave aiming to increase gender equality in parenting, most likely contributed to the results of this study. Whether the findings of this study concerning parents’ experiences of paternal involvement are transferable to other social and cultural contexts remains unknown.

The presentation of the results is made from the parents’ point of view and the impact equally shared parental leave had on them personally, whereas the impact on the infant was not investigated. As suggested by Deven and Carrette (2004), there are several methodological problems involved in exploring infants’ reactions based on their parents’ descriptions of parental leave arrangements. Further studies of how infants may be influenced by parents’ equal division of parental leave need to be carried out. For instance, studies could investigate the infants’ development of attachment relations in the context of equally shared parental leave. The findings may have implications in the discussion of parental roles and the division of parental leave in antenatal and child healthcare settings, for instance in parental groups. The findings may also be relevant for policymakers to consider, in discussions about the influence from prerequisites given by different social policy programs.

Conclusions

The study provides new knowledge about mothers’ and fathers’ perceptions of the importance of paternal involvement in the process of shifting parental leave. The desire to maintain equal opportunities and a balance for both parents between work and family life seems to enrich the couple relationship and foster a mutual appreciation and understanding of each other’s experiences and roles. Fathers’ involvement in child care both before and after the caregiver shift, and mothers’ letting go of control and trusting their partner’s childcare ability, seem to facilitate the shift and support the concept of equally shared parental leave.

Main theme	Sub-theme
Holding on to equal opportunities	Guided by ideals
	Managing ambivalence
	Leaving work for family
Transition of responsibility and control	Trust in the father
	Fathers’ engagement facilitates the shift
	Getting control by taking the main responsibility
Gaining a mutual understanding	Caregiving engulfs one’s life
	Role swapping leads to mutual appreciation

Footnotes

Acknowledgments

The authors gratefully acknowledge the parents for their willingness to participate. We express our gratitude to the child health care nurses recruiting the parents and gratefully acknowledge licensed psychologist Eva Nahnfeldt. Thanks to Associate professor Birgitta Wickberg, for your guiding along the research project. Warmest gratitude to the late supervisor, professor Tomas Tjus, for sharing laughter and challenges. Associate professor Susanne Bernhardsson, thank you for your support and valuable comments on this manuscript.

Funding

The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This work was supported by The Local Research and Development Board for Gothenburg and Södra Bohuslän, Region Västra Götaland, and Närhälsan, Primary Health Care, Region Västra Götaland under Grant [Dnr. VGFOUGSB-46601].

ORCID iD

Monica Lidbeck

Open research statement

As part of IARR’s encouragement of open research practices, the authors have provided the following information: This research was not pre-registered. The data used in the research are not available. These data were qualitative and consent was not provided for open access to interview transcripts.

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