“Caught between a scream and a hug”: Women’s perspectives on music listening and interaction with teenagers in the family unit

Experiencing change

The physiological commencement of adolescence begins with puberty, and whilst the official mean age for the onset of adolescence is usually regarded as 12 years (Christie & Viner, 2005), for the purpose of this study, children aged 11 years and upwards are included, as by then, most are already entering into the stages of puberty. The sexual maturation of the child is a biological function with marked psychological changes, often seen as a time of conflict and neuroticism (Kardum & Krapić, 2001) and of heightened social and emotional relations. Young people regard the social initiation into a peer group to be of paramount importance with in-group identification being highly significant, particularly among young adolescents (Tanti, Stukas, Halloran, & Foddy, 2011). For most teenagers, the need to be liberated from parental dependency and the draw for inclusion into an environment where views are appreciated by their fellow age group becomes increasingly attractive (Larson, 1983). In musical terms, this creates a need to promote a self-identity and to adhere to a favoured in-group with specific tastes (Zillman & Gan, 1997). Women in midlife also experience a period of transition and re-evaluation, as while dealing with the physical changes which can challenge health and wellbeing (Mishra, Brown, & Dobson, 2003), they seek to deal with their own identities and self-esteem, and shape their plans for the future (Stewart, Ostrove, & Helson, 2001). Many mothers interpret teenage moodiness and reaction to peer pressure as threatening behaviour, and therefore find it difficult to tolerate (Herschberg, 2006). Whilst desiring teenagers to be their own people, the attitudes of women do not always correlate with their expressed feelings, with the majority of conflicts occurring around minor household issues rather than large scale life events (Montemayor, 1982).

Developing adolescents have been shown to demonstrate an increased influence in family dynamics. Research into the links between the physical maturation of adolescent boys and family interaction reveals that the early part of the pubertal cycle is a time of conflict between the adolescent male and his mother, which subsides during the later part of the pubertal cycle, with the mother retreating (Steinberg, 1987). This might suggest that the adolescent and his parents are acknowledging the physical cues that indicate the transformation from adolescent to adult.

Earlier empirical studies show that girls’ pubertal maturation is linked with higher levels of mother/daughter conflict (Steinberg, 1981) with mothers reporting more severe midlife concerns if their daughters are more physically mature (Silverberg & Steinberg, 1990). Conversely, there is also evidence to support the idea that the mother/daughter stability is also shifted during adolescence resulting in a more even equilibrium (Blos, 1962).

Musical implications

Significant use by adolescents of music creates a mass market in today’s digital society, with a substantial amount being consumed privately (Larson & Kubey, 1983) through the use of portable media players. The reasons behind this involvement are multi-faceted with a wealth of research devoted to disseminating the associated social, emotional and cognitive implications (Schwartz & Fouts, 2003; Tarrant, 2002). Much teenage social behaviour can be linked with listening preferences, demonstrating the association between Social Identity Theory intergroup musical differentiations (Hargreaves, North & Tarrant 2006). An individual’s musical choice is an important component in publicizing to the world exactly who they are and who they aspire to be (Cooke, 1998). The fact that young people align themselves to specific genres of music and current musical trends indicates the crucial role of peer allegiance in the formation of self-identity (Tarrant, North, & Hargreaves, 2002). Musical preferences form a key part in the maturation process and play a central role in the emotional and cognitive needs of most young people (North, Hargreaves, & O’Neill, 2000), frequently being utilized as a mechanism to govern mood (Saarikallio & Erkkilä, 2007).

Gender differences are controversial but with the decline of parental influence during the teenage years, in-house tensions may arise which are often gender related. Investigations have shown an influence of parental rock music taste on daughters but not on sons (Bogt, Delsing, van Zalk, & Christenson, 2011). There is some evidence to suggest that in general, adolescent males choose music to create an impression with their peers, preferring the rock and heavy rock genres, whereas females use music as a mood regulator and express greater affinity with lighter music, in particular mainstream pop (Colley, 2008). With a desire for connection, many daughters experience an intense bonding with their mothers, intuitively sensing each other’s moods (Mize et al., 1997), and this has the potential to affect musical choices.

There are many dimensions to the social, psychological and physiological nature of music-listening choices. DeNora (2000) highlights the complexities of musical sound perception through an in-depth study of the listening habits of women. She clearly demonstrates how music can arouse particularly strong emotions in the individual, and how the relationship between music and emotion is multifaceted. Clearly, a considerable amount of time and emotional energy is invested in listening to music, and choices have as much to say about individuals as the make of perfume that they wear. There is a common perception that women’s tastes can be emotional rather than intellectual, and, therefore, this is reflected in the music that they choose, an example being that women tend to purchase more pop and lighter classical music than men (Russell, 1997). This stereotypical image fails to address the deeper significances and aesthetic aspects of the choices women make and how they aspire to articulate their identity through the universal experience of music.

Throughout history, music has played a major role in developing the identities of groups and individuals. It is bound in with age, personality, gender, preference, social and cultural contexts. Within individualist Western culture, we observe our preferences in music to be personal and strongly linked with our moods, social circumstances and other situations in which we find ourselves (Crosier, 1997). The inclination to engage in specific genres of music has been linked with established personality traits and cognitive skills, with research indicating that these have, in part, a bearing on listening choices (Chamorro-Permuzia & Furnham, 2007).

Considering gender, Baron-Cohen’s (2004) empathizer–systemizer dichotomy explores the theory that women are better at responding to emotional stimuli, whereas men are more affected by organization and procedure. When applied to musical engagement, these variances in gender can indicate a higher rating for females in empathetic responsiveness than males who appear to relate more readily to analysis and structure (Kreutz, Schubert, & Mitchell, 2008).

This current study addresses the uses of music among two social groupings within the domestic environment, mothers and adolescents, and examines the links between musical choice and the health of relationships. Women as opposed to men were deliberately chosen due to the specifically female experience of listening and ageing. Through the adoption of an idiographic approach, the uniqueness of each participant was examined which offered considerable scope for the comparison of inter-case studies and the fusion of analytical themes.

Method

Differing social and economic backgrounds may provide a diverse range of listening experiences, however participants for this research were recruited from three affluent middle class areas near Glasgow. They were aged between 42 and 50 years, had teenage offspring and lived in spacious family houses. None of the women were trained musicians, but they all had professional qualifications and eight were in employment. Their selection was based on purposive sampling in order to focus on a homogenous sample of professional women coming from families within a specific socio-economic group where musical engagement played an important part in family life. This allowed for reflection on a body of musical experiences shared by all the women.

Participants were briefed on the process of the investigation and assured of its voluntary nature and full confidentiality. Individual semi-structured interviews (n = 10 women) concerning personal musical tastes and musical listening experiences in the domestic setting were conducted and recorded; however, the full aim of the study was not disclosed in order to minimize the effect of demand characteristics. A small sample of 10 women was chosen in order to obtain rich, in-depth data. The interviews took place in participants’ homes and were participatory, with the aim of achieving a closer rapport and more informed data (Fontana & Frey, 1994). In keeping with the criteria of a semi-structured format within qualitative research the interviews commenced with a starter question, “how important is music in your life?” and question order was then determined by the direction of conversation with each interviewee. The researcher ensured that the key topic areas of musical behaviours, identity, listening choices and the musical tastes of others within the social setting were covered within the dialogue.

All three authors were involved in the analysis and coding but the first author, as interviewer, undertook the transcription process using pseudonyms for the participants, checking for accuracy and thereby establishing rigour (Poland, 1995). Recurring themes were identified through inductive coding using thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006), taking a hermeneutic approach in order to fully enter the lived world of the participants. Hermeneutic interpretation tightly knits together the researcher with the context and meaning of the narratives being studied, hence the analysis procedure is one of close collaboration between the researcher and the participant. The aim of this interpretation was to reveal an underlying sense of coherence or understanding (Taylor, 1976), allowing for a sophisticated and nuanced perspective of participants’ subjective thoughts and feelings on key issues. Multiple emergent and recurring themes were identified and verified by all the authors, and finally reduced to three overarching themes which are discussed in detail in the results section.

Adolescent offspring (n = 15, 8 boys and 7 girls) were also interviewed using the same procedures on the subject of their own personal musical tastes and how they felt this affected their mothers’ listening habits and emotions. The aim was to gain further phenomenological insights into the effect musical choices have on the relationship between the two participatory groups within the family environment.

Results

The findings revealed particular key issues in the social constructionist role of music in the lives of middle-aged women and how the complex interplay of musical links play a part in the mother/teenager relationship and identities. Results from the analysis established three overarching themes: perception of musical behaviour, music and activity, and identity development.

Conclusion

Results of this study indicate that adolescents’ musical habits play a fundamental role in controlling the musical experiences of their mothers and in influencing the nature of their relationship. Teenagers perceive themselves to be independent but are obviously less autonomous when choosing music, as listening habits must match the current musical trends as specified by their social peer groups. Conversely, women in middle age are seen to be very liberated in their tastes, having been released from the ties of social engagement in contemporary musical trends. Typically they are able to absorb and appreciate a diverse field of musical offerings, using them for a variety of different physical and psychological needs or purely for enjoyment. The women revealed a higher tolerance for loud pop and classical music, which was often deemed to be highly motivational, largely where active domestic tasks were involved.

A significant finding from this study suggests a social construction of identity in musical negotiation between the different genders. There was a clearly defined musical relationship between mothers and their daughters. Both were enthusiastic about songs that were perceived to be feminine and this was apparent through the sharing of listening material. The cultural heritage offered by the women to their daughters was strong and readily accepted, especially in the genre of musicals, boy bands and female singers. The sons appeared less willing to appreciate their mothers’ views and conform to parental wishes.

Key information on the constantly evolving phenomenon of the relationship between mothers and their children demonstrated the more flexible approach by the women in listening to the musical choices of the adolescents, than the reverse. The mothers may have been seeking ways to define their joint identity with their teenagers through attempting to tolerate the music of their children by deliberately listening to the pop music in vogue. This effort to deal with life changes and engage with their children “midway” produced positive results for most of the women as the teenagers move towards adulthood.

With heightened sensitivities and an awareness of their adolescents’ musical tastes the women demonstrated an increased confidence in their own musical identity and generativity. One major source of disagreement was found with the adolescents who engaged in rock and heavy metal, especially at a loud volume, which had implications in altering the mood state of the mothers. This suggests the significance of the integral connection between the musical listening activities in which the two participatory groups engaged.

Teenage music consumption was found to be largely solitary within their own rooms, whereas the mothers’ music was heard in the public areas of the home. There appeared to be a large amount of listening imposed upon the women from their children due to the music being played at a high volume level. The response to this was mixed according to the musical category and the individual tolerance of the women. Given the complex nature of personality types further research is needed to determine links between tolerance levels and music genres. The car is the primary domain where women and their offspring were “locked together,” and it was found that the teenagers’ choices were the most frequently played. This is another instance of the mothers yielding in order to put their children first. Perhaps this could be interpreted as the women’s wish for their children to express themselves with the view that “you are only young once.” None of the mothers reported playing their choice of music when the children were in the car unless it was a piece of mutual liking.