Abstract
There has been considerable research on the emotional and cognitive impact of music in people’s everyday lives, but limited attention to its role within relationships, particularly inside the family unit. This article explores the emotional experiences of women in midlife when listening to music, with special reference to their interaction with the musical choices of their adolescent offspring and the bearing this has on their relationships. Ten women aged between 40 and 52 years and their teenage children provided qualitative data through semi-structured interviews which focused on their listening behaviours, expressions of self-identity and uses of music whilst considering each other’s musical tastes. This investigation employs a hermeneutic approach and provides new information about the relationship between adolescent musical habits and mother/child dynamics with particular reference to personal and social identity. Mothers were found to enjoy harmonious relationships with daughters through shared musical choices. This was not evident in the information exploring the relationship between mothers and their sons. The article reveals that adolescent musical habits play an important role in influencing the musical listening experiences of mothers.
Music is widely perceived to provide enriching experiences to the listener, generating physical and emotional responses (Juslin, Liljeström, Västfjäll, Barradas, & Silva, 2008; Västfjäll, Juslin, & Hartig, 2012). Previous research has examined musical tastes and behaviours in everyday life situations (DeNora, 2000; Tarrant, Hargreaves, & North, 2001); however, there is a dearth of empirical work on the role of individuals’ musical choices in the home environment. Using a social-constructionist framework in which theories and activities continuously change (Gergen, 2009), this study explores musical identity as a constantly evolving phenomenon. Focussing on middle-aged women, the research questions the centrality of music in their lives and its shaping of the relationship with their teenage children. The aim is to reveal new insights in this key aspect of music in social relationships, viewed principally from the women’s perspective whilst referencing the musical choices of their teenagers. There is emphasis on how the women maintain and mould their own identity through a connection with music whilst coping with the responsibilities of being a parent of adolescents. This study, therefore, offers a new perspective on our understanding of musical taste and behaviour by considering the effects of context and relationships on musical identity. Women who are mothers often find these years to be a time of re-evaluation and reassessment (Aldwin & Levenson, 2001), as their sensitivities are enhanced, linked with the maturation of adolescents in the home. The reduction of the mothering role when dealing with the challenge of physically and psychologically developing teenagers leads to a re-appraisal of self-identity as new relationships and roles are negotiated. These heightened sensitivities may play some part in the mothers’ acceptance of certain types of music within the home; however there is a need for further research exploring the nuances of this relationship.
Experiencing change
The physiological commencement of adolescence begins with puberty, and whilst the official mean age for the onset of adolescence is usually regarded as 12 years (Christie & Viner, 2005), for the purpose of this study, children aged 11 years and upwards are included, as by then, most are already entering into the stages of puberty. The sexual maturation of the child is a biological function with marked psychological changes, often seen as a time of conflict and neuroticism (Kardum & Krapić, 2001) and of heightened social and emotional relations. Young people regard the social initiation into a peer group to be of paramount importance with in-group identification being highly significant, particularly among young adolescents (Tanti, Stukas, Halloran, & Foddy, 2011). For most teenagers, the need to be liberated from parental dependency and the draw for inclusion into an environment where views are appreciated by their fellow age group becomes increasingly attractive (Larson, 1983). In musical terms, this creates a need to promote a self-identity and to adhere to a favoured in-group with specific tastes (Zillman & Gan, 1997). Women in midlife also experience a period of transition and re-evaluation, as while dealing with the physical changes which can challenge health and wellbeing (Mishra, Brown, & Dobson, 2003), they seek to deal with their own identities and self-esteem, and shape their plans for the future (Stewart, Ostrove, & Helson, 2001). Many mothers interpret teenage moodiness and reaction to peer pressure as threatening behaviour, and therefore find it difficult to tolerate (Herschberg, 2006). Whilst desiring teenagers to be their own people, the attitudes of women do not always correlate with their expressed feelings, with the majority of conflicts occurring around minor household issues rather than large scale life events (Montemayor, 1982).
Developing adolescents have been shown to demonstrate an increased influence in family dynamics. Research into the links between the physical maturation of adolescent boys and family interaction reveals that the early part of the pubertal cycle is a time of conflict between the adolescent male and his mother, which subsides during the later part of the pubertal cycle, with the mother retreating (Steinberg, 1987). This might suggest that the adolescent and his parents are acknowledging the physical cues that indicate the transformation from adolescent to adult.
Earlier empirical studies show that girls’ pubertal maturation is linked with higher levels of mother/daughter conflict (Steinberg, 1981) with mothers reporting more severe midlife concerns if their daughters are more physically mature (Silverberg & Steinberg, 1990). Conversely, there is also evidence to support the idea that the mother/daughter stability is also shifted during adolescence resulting in a more even equilibrium (Blos, 1962).
Musical implications
Significant use by adolescents of music creates a mass market in today’s digital society, with a substantial amount being consumed privately (Larson & Kubey, 1983) through the use of portable media players. The reasons behind this involvement are multi-faceted with a wealth of research devoted to disseminating the associated social, emotional and cognitive implications (Schwartz & Fouts, 2003; Tarrant, 2002). Much teenage social behaviour can be linked with listening preferences, demonstrating the association between Social Identity Theory intergroup musical differentiations (Hargreaves, North & Tarrant 2006). An individual’s musical choice is an important component in publicizing to the world exactly who they are and who they aspire to be (Cooke, 1998). The fact that young people align themselves to specific genres of music and current musical trends indicates the crucial role of peer allegiance in the formation of self-identity (Tarrant, North, & Hargreaves, 2002). Musical preferences form a key part in the maturation process and play a central role in the emotional and cognitive needs of most young people (North, Hargreaves, & O’Neill, 2000), frequently being utilized as a mechanism to govern mood (Saarikallio & Erkkilä, 2007).
Gender differences are controversial but with the decline of parental influence during the teenage years, in-house tensions may arise which are often gender related. Investigations have shown an influence of parental rock music taste on daughters but not on sons (Bogt, Delsing, van Zalk, & Christenson, 2011). There is some evidence to suggest that in general, adolescent males choose music to create an impression with their peers, preferring the rock and heavy rock genres, whereas females use music as a mood regulator and express greater affinity with lighter music, in particular mainstream pop (Colley, 2008). With a desire for connection, many daughters experience an intense bonding with their mothers, intuitively sensing each other’s moods (Mize et al., 1997), and this has the potential to affect musical choices.
There are many dimensions to the social, psychological and physiological nature of music-listening choices. DeNora (2000) highlights the complexities of musical sound perception through an in-depth study of the listening habits of women. She clearly demonstrates how music can arouse particularly strong emotions in the individual, and how the relationship between music and emotion is multifaceted. Clearly, a considerable amount of time and emotional energy is invested in listening to music, and choices have as much to say about individuals as the make of perfume that they wear. There is a common perception that women’s tastes can be emotional rather than intellectual, and, therefore, this is reflected in the music that they choose, an example being that women tend to purchase more pop and lighter classical music than men (Russell, 1997). This stereotypical image fails to address the deeper significances and aesthetic aspects of the choices women make and how they aspire to articulate their identity through the universal experience of music.
Throughout history, music has played a major role in developing the identities of groups and individuals. It is bound in with age, personality, gender, preference, social and cultural contexts. Within individualist Western culture, we observe our preferences in music to be personal and strongly linked with our moods, social circumstances and other situations in which we find ourselves (Crosier, 1997). The inclination to engage in specific genres of music has been linked with established personality traits and cognitive skills, with research indicating that these have, in part, a bearing on listening choices (Chamorro-Permuzia & Furnham, 2007).
Considering gender, Baron-Cohen’s (2004) empathizer–systemizer dichotomy explores the theory that women are better at responding to emotional stimuli, whereas men are more affected by organization and procedure. When applied to musical engagement, these variances in gender can indicate a higher rating for females in empathetic responsiveness than males who appear to relate more readily to analysis and structure (Kreutz, Schubert, & Mitchell, 2008).
This current study addresses the uses of music among two social groupings within the domestic environment, mothers and adolescents, and examines the links between musical choice and the health of relationships. Women as opposed to men were deliberately chosen due to the specifically female experience of listening and ageing. Through the adoption of an idiographic approach, the uniqueness of each participant was examined which offered considerable scope for the comparison of inter-case studies and the fusion of analytical themes.
Method
Differing social and economic backgrounds may provide a diverse range of listening experiences, however participants for this research were recruited from three affluent middle class areas near Glasgow. They were aged between 42 and 50 years, had teenage offspring and lived in spacious family houses. None of the women were trained musicians, but they all had professional qualifications and eight were in employment. Their selection was based on purposive sampling in order to focus on a homogenous sample of professional women coming from families within a specific socio-economic group where musical engagement played an important part in family life. This allowed for reflection on a body of musical experiences shared by all the women.
Participants were briefed on the process of the investigation and assured of its voluntary nature and full confidentiality. Individual semi-structured interviews (n = 10 women) concerning personal musical tastes and musical listening experiences in the domestic setting were conducted and recorded; however, the full aim of the study was not disclosed in order to minimize the effect of demand characteristics. A small sample of 10 women was chosen in order to obtain rich, in-depth data. The interviews took place in participants’ homes and were participatory, with the aim of achieving a closer rapport and more informed data (Fontana & Frey, 1994). In keeping with the criteria of a semi-structured format within qualitative research the interviews commenced with a starter question, “how important is music in your life?” and question order was then determined by the direction of conversation with each interviewee. The researcher ensured that the key topic areas of musical behaviours, identity, listening choices and the musical tastes of others within the social setting were covered within the dialogue.
All three authors were involved in the analysis and coding but the first author, as interviewer, undertook the transcription process using pseudonyms for the participants, checking for accuracy and thereby establishing rigour (Poland, 1995). Recurring themes were identified through inductive coding using thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006), taking a hermeneutic approach in order to fully enter the lived world of the participants. Hermeneutic interpretation tightly knits together the researcher with the context and meaning of the narratives being studied, hence the analysis procedure is one of close collaboration between the researcher and the participant. The aim of this interpretation was to reveal an underlying sense of coherence or understanding (Taylor, 1976), allowing for a sophisticated and nuanced perspective of participants’ subjective thoughts and feelings on key issues. Multiple emergent and recurring themes were identified and verified by all the authors, and finally reduced to three overarching themes which are discussed in detail in the results section.
Adolescent offspring (n = 15, 8 boys and 7 girls) were also interviewed using the same procedures on the subject of their own personal musical tastes and how they felt this affected their mothers’ listening habits and emotions. The aim was to gain further phenomenological insights into the effect musical choices have on the relationship between the two participatory groups within the family environment.
Results
The findings revealed particular key issues in the social constructionist role of music in the lives of middle-aged women and how the complex interplay of musical links play a part in the mother/teenager relationship and identities. Results from the analysis established three overarching themes: perception of musical behaviour, music and activity, and identity development.
Perception of musical behaviour
Music serves a purpose in everyday life to enhance communication, human interaction and emotion (MacDonald, Hargreaves, & Miell, 2002). In considering the uses of music in their everyday lives, the two participatory groups in this study defined its importance in highly individual ways. The reports of the women indicated the current centrality of music in their lives which was either equal to, or more important than, when they were younger. Some stated that their current uses of music were totally different to their choices as teenagers. As youths, music was something everybody “did,” whereas in adulthood it was perceived to be pleasure-driven rather than because it was there and everybody “did it.” Whilst the participants did not regard their “need” for music as a means of therapy in their lives it was certainly clear from their comments that its intrinsic powers could alter their moods, generate a feeling of well-being, stimulate ideas, and affect relationships within the family unit.
The music I listen to varies with my life. I find a CD and will listen and listen and listen and at the moment I’m into wanting uplifting mood music. I think it definitely goes by your moods …
The two mothers from this study who were negatively affected by the heavy rock music played by their teenage offspring indicated the need for soothing sounds or no sound at all as an important feature in their lives. This corresponds with findings by DeNora (2000) into self-programming and music where the majority of her participants demonstrated significant understanding of the types of music they needed to listen to in specific situations. From the comments of all the women in this study, music acted as a distracter from stressful situations whether it was dedicated or background.
If you accept that what goes on in your head has a physical impact it makes me physically unwell and distressed if I don’t have access to music … it sort of makes me think that human nature can’t be all that bad if somebody or people can produce that kind of music
In the role of mother, the luxury of listening to music was, at best, fleeting moments in an otherwise busy round of organizing the home and in many cases in employment elsewhere. The balance between dedicated and background listening showed that four women listened to music as background alone and the remaining six stated that it was a mixture of both types. The women indicated that family dynamics played an important role in determining the amount of free listening time they actually experienced during a normal day.
Music in family communal areas was selected by the women and their husbands with none of the children being involved in the selection. This supports research by Larson and Kubey (1983) where teenage music listening was found to be highly solitary, mainly occurring in complete isolation within the home. Middle-aged women are not often afforded the opportunity of listening to music in a private room for long periods of time due to the constraints of family pressures. Consequently, most listed the car, the kitchen and finally the sitting room as the most frequently used venues for musical engagement.
I have a CD player in the kitchen and that’s where I listen to an awful lot of music. I have a collection of CDs there and they tend to be different to the ones I listen to in the lounge. It’s very much to relax in the lounge.
The digital era of instant access to music through portable media players makes music easily accessible within the home and often exposes individuals to the choices of others. Most of the women chose to listen to their music on either CD or radio, and for those who were not in employment, the daytime hours provided long periods of time in the home where own choice of music was used as a means of stimulation and relief from boredom. After school hours, evenings and weekends were found to be times of both musical cohesion within the family and moments of challenge.
Fitting in with children’s plans limited the amount of free adult listening time available, and trying to be seen to be a “cool mum” appeared to have affected the mothers when choosing and tolerating the music of their youngsters. As one mother commented: “I’m sure that if I didn’t have children I would not be listening to current pop music.” Adolescent musical preferences were especially prevalent in the car where there was a distinct lack of teenager regard for the choices of others. Coming from affluent backgrounds meant that the adolescents had the luxury of privacy within their own rooms and they expressed the need to listen to their music privately without parental interference. Tensions were visible when the mother was perceived to intrude on this personal space and make demands on listening behaviour patterns; as Linda expressed, “I’ve been known to absolutely blow a fuse, yes I have. Snatch the remote control and turn it off.”
Negative emotions in music can be enjoyed and can assist in relieving boredom through stimulation (Schubert, 1996). This is applicable to emotions such as sadness, fear and anger and is used by composers who vary the type of emotional feelings in the music to maximize the aesthetic experience. What happens however, when an individual is faced with music that activates negative feelings without any contrasting sense of pleasure? From the data collected in this research many women found loud music and rock music as arousers of strong negative emotions, with their connotations of youth and rebellion. To their offspring (mainly boys, as rock music is largely perceived to be masculine), the driving, pulsating rhythms found in rock music could act as a vehicle transporting them from the music into an active, more confrontational state. This can be seen from the perspective of both mothers and teenagers as demonstrated in the following quotes:
I told him can you switch that down please so he turned it up. And I said “I didn’t say turn it up I said turn it down” and he did it again. I said “I asked you to turn it down and what was a request is now an order.” And he turned it up. So I stormed in and whipped the whole machine out of the wall. The plug came off and was still in the socket. But that was after a lot of provocation. But that is how bad it can affect me.
She doesn’t like my music. No, full stop, no. Every time she comes into my room and I have Korn or stuff on she says turn it off, now!
Evidence has been found from other research of the correlation between the taste for more “rebellious” forms of pop music such as heavy metal and oppositional identities (Hargreaves & North, 1999) although Zillmann and Gan (1997) point out that the dearth of evidence on this subject makes it difficult to draw specific conclusions. A clear theme emerged from the interviews with the women that this notion of rock music and its anti-social, anti-establishment values could present a degree of friction within the home for three main reasons: volume, content of lyrics and preference.
Volume
Of the 15 children involved in this project, seven were keen fans of rock music, with four of these consistently playing music at a high volume which presented a problem to their mothers. They all acknowledged their mothers’ dislike of loud rock music but took the view that it was their own personal preference.
Through attendance at events such as rock and pop concerts many adolescents are exposed to music listening at a high sound level (Mercier & Hohmann, 2002) more so than their mothers. The women demonstrated a preference for music to be played at an acceptable level and friction became apparent within the family when the requests from a figure of authority (i.e., the mother) were deliberately ignored.
If I’m in a bad mood I’ll go upstairs and give the lecture you’ll be deaf by the time you’re twenty. So yes it’s quite … it’s very aggressive music I find, it can just make … it can tip me over.
Interestingly, three out of the 10 women admitted to liking loud music as teenagers and still liked it now, and three reported that they had never liked loud music and were of the same opinion today.
Lyrical content
The sales of CDs and downloads within the music industry containing words such as “Parental Advisory Warning, Explicit Content” are commonplace and readily accessible to teenage purchasers. It is not surprising, therefore, that this was a major point of unrest for mothers when investigating the suitability of material for adolescent offspring. Much of the lyrical thematic material in rock music is concerned with negative events and emotions.
It is very dubious what is being pummelled into their brains … some of the stuff he listens to has no connection with anything I’ve ever heard, it’s just loud shouting obscenities as far as I can tell, which I find quite difficult.
The appropriateness of the lyrics is not just confined to the suitability content. As one mother argued, often points of grammar can be a source of irritation:
He’s been going nuts the last two days over a piece of music by somebody or other, called Stole – and I’ve listened to it and I’ve seen the lyrics – and the first thing that occurs to me is the terrible English! I can’t bear it – I mean appalling English. “Their lives were stole” – I don’t think so…!
Preference
Musical tastes are linked to many criteria such as age, gender, personality and cultural environment. Most of us have clearly defined musical likes and dislikes that are demonstrated in different ways according to our moods, and this aids the formation of our personal musical identities. Additionally, music has a strong social basis for creating and preserving interpersonal relationships. Mothers eagerly sought positive relationships with their adolescent offspring; however, the differences in personal musical tastes could provide major obstacles. This was undoubtedly an example of the “generation gap.”
There’s some modern music that I actually cannot tolerate. I just want to turn it off and I feel as if I’m getting agitated. But I think it’s part of his growing up and what matters is that he listens to music.
Negative reactions to diverse categories of music can be linked to issues such as social class, age, gender, musical cognition, cultural factors and lifestyles. The adolescents’ musical tastes were clearly connected to peer groups and the media, whilst the women were more concerned with utilizing music for pure enjoyment and to fulfil physical and psychological needs. This relationship between the two age groups could falter when the work in question was unknown to the women, as in the case of rap which has emerged onto the music scene as a powerful force in recent years.
I listen to some of the stuff she plays, now there’s the odd tune that’s quite nice but to me it’s just a whole load of noise … rap and stuff like that, I can’t stand it. It annoys me.
Mothers reflected on strong distinctions between their interactions with their daughters as opposed to their sons. From the information gathered three specific groups emerged: girls, boys who play rock and heavy metal and boys who play lighter genres of music.
The analysis of enjoyment factors indicated that the girls had a much broader spectrum of tastes than the boys. The mother–daughter symbiosis was strong and manifested itself in shared listening tastes and CD-swapping. Both were mutually engaged in cementing a close relationship through the intimacies of music. There was a sense of musical cohesion between the two and it could be observed how this produced an emotionally charged method of communication.
Katherine is just like me … she plays probably all music that I like, she will borrow lots of my CDs. She’s really into Blue which I quite like too … she’ll play that … she likes the CDs we’ve got of tracks from the movies like “Four Weddings and a Funeral” and “Notting Hill.”
This was also observable between Linda and her “rock” loving daughter who showed another side to her musical nature by actively listening to some of her mother’s more conventionally melodic and less aggressive style of music which temporarily relieved certain domestic tensions.
She likes some of my Les Miserables and Miss Saigon … the other day I bought some Patsy Kline ones and she likes listening to those, she’ll quite often have a little listen.
The women admitted that through their daughters they listened to music that they personally would not choose; this demonstrated the significance of the mother–daughter relationship in influencing the choice of music that the mothers played.
She’s borrowed a couple of my CDs. She bought them for me. I think she’s just interested in them ’cos I like them.
Despite this apparently close relationship, the research showed that the daughters did not seek their mother’s approval of their music and the women are totally aware of this. There was a general feeling among the adolescent girls that they would play their music anyway, but if on the rare occasion that it was really causing any distress then they were willing to reduce the volume.
Conversely the relationship between some women and their sons was not so harmonious. For many mothers, encounters with the musical tastes of the boys provided a context for family dispute. Alteration in music listening practices could be allied to the deterioration in some aspects of a relationship and cause friction, as shown by Veronica’s son who admitted, “My music makes her angry.”
She doesn’t like my music. I suppose it would be interesting if she had an interest in my music, but I wouldn’t really like her to like it ’cos then it would be totally weird … I wouldn’t like it that much. It wouldn’t be the thing for a middle aged woman. That would ruin the fun as well if she liked our music.
Linda described a typical scene where she was trying to call her son for breakfast but could not be heard above the “dreadful loud music” coming from his room. She recalled instantly turning into “the mother from hell” by turning the music down and announcing that he would deafen himself, which had the immediate effect of putting him into a bad mood, thus placing a strain on the relationship.
The tolerance level of women at this stage in their lives did seem to vary considerably. Material from the interviews showed that some of the mothers were accepting of music that they personally disliked. Despite having an aversion to her son’s music, one mother was reluctant to tell him to turn it off as it made him happy. Perhaps this connected with her self-definition as “easy going,” or maybe it simply linked to the large dimensions of their home where the son’s bedroom was situated some distance away from the main living areas and therefore the concentration of volume was easily diluted. All of the women claimed to have good relationships with their sons in general except concerning music, where the position could be uncharacteristically volatile at times.
Several boys stated that it would not be socially acceptable to have a mother who appreciated and liked rock music and heavy metal. Ironically, it did however seem to be perfectly suitable for a father to express similar tastes to his sons.
I think it would be really strange to have a mosher mum or something like that you know … who was heavily into rock and stuff like that. I can see Dad doing it, but I don’t visualise it as a mum. It doesn’t worry me that she doesn’t like my music and I don’t think that it bothers her too much.
The remaining three boys who did not engage in rock and heavy metal had a more harmonious musical relationship with their mothers. Two of them listened to pop and less hard-hitting rock at a quieter volume level acceptable to their mothers and the third enjoyed brass and pipe band music along with the occasional television or film theme.
One mother interpreted her son’s attitude to seeking appreciation of his music as a means of obtaining a link with her, rather than searching for her approval. She also felt that he might confess to being a “source of disappointment” to her as he was not overly fond of classical music. He did in fact touch on this point by admitting that he would be pleased to know that his mother enjoyed some of his music, as he did not like classical music at all. There is scope for further research into the perceived suitability of listening material and its corresponding sense of value or worth by both mothers and their offspring.
Music and activity
A common link emerged between the two groups in the way mothers and teenagers utilised music to regulate emotions and to assist in dealing with the multitude of situations which arise daily. Music can provide motivation to accomplish tasks through the induction of physical and psychological changes, reconfiguring energy levels to get in the mood for even the most tedious of chores (De Nora, 2000). This study revealed emergent themes of cognitive and environment enhancement through musical-listening experiences and despite the lack of any formal musical knowledge, dedicated and background listening frequently provided a source of mood adjustment and enrichment to all of the women.
Music gets me motivated to clean the house. Something that I mentioned in the journal, Bridget Jones’s diary, and cleaning the kitchen floor – the tempo of the music stimulates me to do the activity that I’m actually doing.
This preference for motivational stimuli was linked to arousal in order to assist with the relief of boredom, increase mental activity and stimulate bodily movements. The majority of the women frequently played their own choice music to accompany a specific domestic task or to act as a means of combating stress.
Well, if I put the right music on it can put me in the right mood for ironing and I find that if I play really loud music with lots of energy it makes me iron faster. I think there’s a gap in the market for a CD called “Music to iron to”!
Music also had an emotive function and was used by women and their offspring to enhance or facilitate a mood change. The adolescents interviewed reported listening to music mainly as a means of calming down and for physical activities such as dancing. Perhaps because of their self-consciousness in describing their emotions they were less willing to elaborate on these reasons, whereas the mothers gave more specific explanations, such as the benefits of musical engagement whilst undertaking household jobs.
I think it makes those chores easier if you can sing along.
There appeared to be a positive association between personality, musical choice and frame of mind. The emotional characteristics of the individual women and their daily moods were linked to their aesthetic responses to music. As Carolyn expressed after a particularly unpleasant day at work and in need of a pick me up – “Savage Garden just makes life a bit happier.”
Identity development
A function of music can be to define one’s social identity, with musical preference, particularly for young people, being perceived as an identity “tag” (North & Hargreaves, 1999). This investigation revealed information around musical listening practices, both social and private, including wider issues of personal identity from the opposing viewpoints of the two age groups. Some of the women reported that through playing music from their youth they were able to establish an emotional connection with their life in the present, or re-affirmation of self. The use of preferred music from a previous era was linked with the individual’s concept of musical identity and provided the women with feelings of positivity and nostalgia. The following comment exemplified the personal effect that some of these women experienced when listening to music:
Sometimes if it’s been a really difficult day, lots of things have happened at work it sort of makes me think that human nature can’t be all that bad if somebody or people can produce that kind of music. So it sort of makes me more grounded.
For some, the familiarity with the past did not always provide a comfortable shelter from the present. One participant recalled musical pieces that brought back quite painful memories both through associations with sad events or through repetitive listening, and positive feelings of nostalgia did not play a major role in her listening habits. It was interesting to note that out of the 10 women interviewed, she had had to cope with considerable stresses of illnesses and bereavements in her family.
One of my dearest friend’s husband died about ten years ago now and we were sitting one night talking about the music she would have at the funeral … he wasn’t religious so … I said what about the Pearl Fishers’ duet and I can’t hear that without thinking “oh this is sore.”
Some of the women revealed their dislike of the music that was popular in their youth which they professed to enjoy then because of peer pressure, the desire to be seen as “part of the group.” The release in midlife of these aspirations to be accepted had led to the appeal of a much wider sphere of musical choice. This division of preferences between the two age groups demonstrated a clear example of two principal forms of self-identity: private and public. As one mother described, “I listened to loud music more to go with the flow than that I actually liked it.”
Teenagers tend to concentrate on the public self in relation to music where the identity tag is labelled with the name of the peer group and this affiliation is of paramount importance (Dibben, 2002). Conversely, for women in midlife, music appeared to contribute to the individual’s feeling of self and aided the effects of emotion, activity and enthusiasm.
There’s a mental, psychological interaction with the music you know, you are engaging with it, the mood … emotion … there’s so many things come in. I find there’s so many things come into it that I’m not always aware of how it’s affecting me.
From the teenagers’ perspective, listening to specific pieces of music involved the preferences of their friends. The combination of this need to identify with their peers and their awareness of personal mood levels was an important component in their choice of particular genres and pieces of music. Adolescents appeared to have very limited choice fields and would list musical preferences from a very narrow branch of options, illustrating a greater homogeneity in their tastes and demonstrating the strength of peer pressure. Conversely their mothers gave much lengthier examples from a broad spectrum of choices and were keen to enhance their own identities through the increased understanding of current musical trends, with mixed reactions from their children.
In response to the question “What type of music arouses a positive response in you and makes you feel good?” all of the women were effusive with their answers. Their testimonials were consistent with previous research that shows how music can provide a key link between our private and emotional selves (Bunt, 1994). Most of the participants played music that intensified their emotions and delivered feelings of pleasure. It is important to note that all the women listed classical music as their preferred choice to evoke positive emotions and some showed a keen interest in developing their musical knowledge.
Almost anything that is Vivaldi. I love his mandolin concertos, I think they are … they make me smile … I can’t think of anything by Vivaldi or Geminiani or Beethoven or Mendelssohn that I don’t like. I like some Stravinsky, I’m working on that …
Research results showed that the adolescents were able to identify their mothers’ tastes more accurately than vice versa. The mothers appeared to view themselves as highly knowledgeable and intuitive concerning their children and despite not necessarily being able to list specific groups/singers, were confident in stating the exact preferences of their offspring, however, their information was shown to be highly inaccurate.
Well it’s kind of embarrassing like she says she thinks she’s really cool with the music but she just doesn’t and it’s just really embarrassing. She pretends she knows all the bands and she just doesn’t.
Several of the adolescents appeared comfortable to declare in private that they enjoyed some of their mother’s music, using comments like “I started singing along and felt happy” and “I feel like dancing” to describe their positive responses. They willingly shared this information possibly because they were contributing to a research project where accurate results were required and this contrasted with their apparent reluctance to publicly divulge their thoughts to family and friends for fear of appearing less “cool” and risking the loss of identity. Conceivably because the women had a wider field of musical acceptance and a general dislike of loud rock music, their children were able to accurately describe which pieces would be popular with their mothers.
Conclusion
Results of this study indicate that adolescents’ musical habits play a fundamental role in controlling the musical experiences of their mothers and in influencing the nature of their relationship. Teenagers perceive themselves to be independent but are obviously less autonomous when choosing music, as listening habits must match the current musical trends as specified by their social peer groups. Conversely, women in middle age are seen to be very liberated in their tastes, having been released from the ties of social engagement in contemporary musical trends. Typically they are able to absorb and appreciate a diverse field of musical offerings, using them for a variety of different physical and psychological needs or purely for enjoyment. The women revealed a higher tolerance for loud pop and classical music, which was often deemed to be highly motivational, largely where active domestic tasks were involved.
A significant finding from this study suggests a social construction of identity in musical negotiation between the different genders. There was a clearly defined musical relationship between mothers and their daughters. Both were enthusiastic about songs that were perceived to be feminine and this was apparent through the sharing of listening material. The cultural heritage offered by the women to their daughters was strong and readily accepted, especially in the genre of musicals, boy bands and female singers. The sons appeared less willing to appreciate their mothers’ views and conform to parental wishes.
Key information on the constantly evolving phenomenon of the relationship between mothers and their children demonstrated the more flexible approach by the women in listening to the musical choices of the adolescents, than the reverse. The mothers may have been seeking ways to define their joint identity with their teenagers through attempting to tolerate the music of their children by deliberately listening to the pop music in vogue. This effort to deal with life changes and engage with their children “midway” produced positive results for most of the women as the teenagers move towards adulthood.
With heightened sensitivities and an awareness of their adolescents’ musical tastes the women demonstrated an increased confidence in their own musical identity and generativity. One major source of disagreement was found with the adolescents who engaged in rock and heavy metal, especially at a loud volume, which had implications in altering the mood state of the mothers. This suggests the significance of the integral connection between the musical listening activities in which the two participatory groups engaged.
Teenage music consumption was found to be largely solitary within their own rooms, whereas the mothers’ music was heard in the public areas of the home. There appeared to be a large amount of listening imposed upon the women from their children due to the music being played at a high volume level. The response to this was mixed according to the musical category and the individual tolerance of the women. Given the complex nature of personality types further research is needed to determine links between tolerance levels and music genres. The car is the primary domain where women and their offspring were “locked together,” and it was found that the teenagers’ choices were the most frequently played. This is another instance of the mothers yielding in order to put their children first. Perhaps this could be interpreted as the women’s wish for their children to express themselves with the view that “you are only young once.” None of the mothers reported playing their choice of music when the children were in the car unless it was a piece of mutual liking.
Future research
Although this study has concluded that the listening preferences of one family group can influence that of another, further research re-interviewing these adolescents and their mothers at 12 monthly intervals would afford a deeper and more accurate insight into the progression of the effects of adolescent music on women as the children mature. This type of longitudinal study would certainly provide a much clearer picture of the whole effect of music on particular family dynamics during the entire period of maturation during adolescence.
Other studies could compare the musical choices of different family groupings, such as siblings, in order to determine and evaluate their effect on each other. Initial findings from an on-going project on music in couple relationships in retirement suggest that music plays a significant role in contributing to positivity and togetherness throughout the lifespan. It was apparent from this research that the role of the fathers in family listening behavioural patterns was significant and markedly different from that of the mothers. Further research giving a detailed insight into the listening habits of fathers in relation to their children would add an extra dimension to the way in which family dynamics affect listening within the home. It would also be interesting to study the musical listening experiences of individuals within more compact living spaces and the possible influences on domestic relationships.
Although this study only briefly touches on the character of each individual woman it shows little doubt that an integral link exists between musical tastes, response, personality and relationship health. Due to the limitations in the study in this area of social integration and interaction, we would suggest the need to look for the connection between taste and response within the family unit to personality types, with the resultant material then being examined to determine various response effect factors such as pleasure, displeasure and tolerance to each other’s music.
Footnotes
Acknowledgements
We would like to express our gratitude to all the women and their teenage children who freely and willingly donated their time.
Funding
This research received no specific grant from any funding agency in the public, commercial, or not-for-profit sectors.