Abstract
At first sight, this book consists of a single case study of one pianist’s battle to return to playing in public after decades of self-imposed exile from the stage. However, it is much more than just a record of Sara Solovitch’s own journey from crippling stage fright to confident performance. As a journalist and medical writer, she comprehensively explicates the symptoms of stage fright, explores some of the causes and effects, and investigates a wide range of treatments and strategies. As part of her mission to overcome her longstanding fear of performance, she takes a quasi-scientific approach, documenting the history of stage fright, carrying out a cross-cultural comparison of performance anxiety, collecting case studies of fellow sufferers, seeking advice and support from experts in the field, and sharing her findings with the reader.
Solovitch does not limit her investigations to musical performance anxiety; she discovered that stage fright can be a great leveller, shared by sportsmen and women, newsreaders, dancers, actors, teachers, lawyers, members of the clergy, and numerous other individuals in the public eye. In many professions, addressing an audience, either through giving presentations or making speeches, is essential for developing a successful career. However, the Bruskin Report (Bruskin Associates, 1973) found that glossophobia (the fear of public speaking) was one of the most common fears in America. When this was reported in the London Sunday Times (Watson, 1973), Jerry Seinfeld famously quipped that the majority of people would ‘rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy’ (Solovitch, 2015, p. 3). With all of this in mind, the appeal of this book is likely to be very wide indeed.
Although Solovitch is a classical pianist, her tribulations will resonate with performers of all types and genres. Her own devastating experiences of stage fright began as she entered her teenage years, and was under increasing pressure to play in competitive music festivals. At 18 years of age, she decided that her performance anxiety was stronger than her passion for the piano. With a great sense of relief, she abandoned her musical studies and set out to be a writer. Despite feeling as if she didn’t care if she never played the piano again (Solovitch, 2015, p. 17), she continued to lug her instrument around from state to state as her journalistic career progressed, feeling that it was part of her identity (Solovitch, 2015, p. 20). Herein lies one of the paradoxes of musical performance anxiety, as it can create a love–hate relationship with music itself. Solovitch rarely touched the piano again until her children encouraged her to re-start having lessons in her late 40s, and she did not consider public performance until 10 years after that. As she approached her 60th birthday, she decided it was time to overcome her fears and embarked upon a programme of ‘exposure therapy’ (Solovitch, 2015, p. 49), desensitizing herself through small-scale performances before playing in a recital.
As part of her preparation for her birthday recital, Solovitch studied with a series of renowned piano teachers, experimented with a variety of practice regimes, and explored a plethora of extra-musical strategies based on mindfulness, Emotional Freedom Technique, biofeedback programmes, yoga, positive self-talk, psychotherapy, virtual reality programmes, and Alexander Technique. She also interviewed and obtained advice from experts in the field of performance psychology, including Don Greene, the sports psychologist, and Juliet Nagel, who has examined the role of perfectionism in stage fright (1988) and suggested that cognitive behavioural therapy may be of benefit for some performers (Nagel, Himle, & Papsdorf, 1989).
In Chapter 5 of Solovitch’s book, an in-depth analysis of the relationship between perfectionism and performance anxiety brings great insight to the emotional and psychological consequences of the pressure of her longstanding, but unfulfilled, goal of a ‘note perfect performance’. She realizes that the ‘perfectionism paradox’ (Hewitt & Flett, 2007) means that a preoccupation with perfection can lead to increased vulnerability in performance, with several negative consequences: Self-oriented perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, and low personal control were associated with greater debilitating performance anxiety, somatic anxiety, and less goal satisfaction. (Mor, Day, Flett, & Hewitt, 1995, p. 207)
Solovitch’s musings on the pitfalls of perfectionism are reinforced by anecdotal evidence from other performing artists. Her main breakthrough seems to occur when a professional musician, with a background in engineering, explains that: While a product had to be manufactured for the greatest possible precision, it nevertheless had to be designed for error or, as it is known in engineering, tolerance. (Solovitch, 2015, p. 173)
This leads to a form of epiphany for the author, as she begins to internalize the philosophy that ‘perfection’ is an unrealistic goal, that errors are inevitable, and that giving oneself permission to make mistakes can be liberating. She also recognizes that moving performances are not necessarily given by perfectionists, but by artists; aiming for excellence rather than perfection becomes her new goal. Early in the journey towards her momentous recital, she realizes the importance, for her, of mastering her fears and performing for an audience, when she hears of a man who collected pianos in a double-wide trailer, but refused to play them in front of anyone else. She asks herself ‘What was the good of all that music if there was no one to hear it?’ and vows to ‘break out of her own double-wide trailer’ (Solovitch, 2015, p. 248). By the end of her journey, she realizes that the real constraint is her own perfectionism, and is determined to break free of this.
This book is engagingly written and packed with insights from the lived experience of suffering from, and learning to manage, the effects of stage fright. For any performer who has ever struggled to face an audience, it is bound to be full of ‘Me too!’ moments, which, in themselves, are likely to reduce the sense of isolation that performance anxiety can bring. As Solovitch points out, stage fright has often been seen as a problem that performers need to conceal in order to protect their careers, and there has been an almost superstitious sense that discussing the problem risks ‘contagion’ between performers (Solovitch, 2015, pp. 26–27). In recent years, however, a number of high-profile performers (including Adele, Robbie Williams, and Barbara Streisand) have been increasingly open about the effects of stage fright upon their lives. Empirical research has also indicated the high prevalence of musical performance anxiety (Steptoe, 2001), and begun to explore some of the causes, effects and possible strategies (Kenny, 2005, 2006; Nagel, 2004; Valentine, Fitzgerald, Gorton, Hudson, & Symonds, 1995).
Playing scared is a welcome supplement to the established research literature, as it shines a light into this dark corner of musical life in a way that is very accessible for the general reader, as well as being of interest to the specialist practitioner. For teachers and other professionals supporting those who are affected by stage fright, this book is to be highly recommended. It provides a useful commentary on many of the approaches to dealing with this challenge, along with suggestions for further reading. Finally, Solovitch’s descriptions of the wasted human potential, which can clearly be attributed to performance anxiety, make a powerful case for including emotional and psychological preparation in musical performance training programmes at all levels.