Abstract
In this time of volatile political differences, complexity of viewpoints, and diverse life experiences, is there anything that we all have in common? Actually, there is. We are all getting older, and there is no stopping the process. While aging is a universal fact of life, it is a topic we rarely talk about openly or on an academic level, especially in a lively and oft-challenging dialogue that broaches forbidden topics such as cosmetic surgery, leaving money to your children (possibly unequally), forced retirement, and the right to be sexually active for those with dementia. These subjects, and more, are covered with knowledge and expertise in Aging Thoughtfully: Conversations About Retirement, Romance, Wrinkles, and Regret, by philosopher Martha Nussbaum and her friend and colleague at the University of Chicago, law professor Saul Levmore. Nussbaum and Levmore (2017) open their book with an invitation to deeper acceptance of aging, and they lead the way in learning to embrace the difficulties and joys of getting older with humor and awareness: “To age is to experience, to gain wisdom, to love and to lose, and to grow more comfortable in one’s own skin, however much it might be loosening” (p. 1).
In a society that often denies or stigmatizes older people, Nussbaum and Levmore offer a way of entering into the issues and possibilities we face as we age. They look at each topic from differing academic and professional viewpoints (and sometimes with opposing opinions). The two voices in the book are at times passionate versus dispassionate, practical versus hopeful, and even fatalistic versus idealistic. But we need both perspectives to explore the subject and to encourage the reader to think more complexly. As Nussbaum remarks near the end of the book, “The philosopher’s focus on aspiration complements the economist’s realism!” (p. 207). Each topic is covered in a two-chapter format; both academics contribute to the discussion, on subjects including retirement policy (Saul asserts that a mandatory retirement age might not be a bad thing, while Martha disagrees), aging bodies (Martha advocates for embracing our advancing state without disgust, and Saul discusses the possibilities of cosmetic surgery), and romance and sex beyond middle age (both authors advocate for freedom and dignity, with the option of allowing “gap couples”—or couples who have a significant age difference—to exist without stigma).
Each conversation in Aging Thoughtfully: Conversations About Retirement, Romance, Wrinkles, and Regret is lively and interesting. The authors intermittently delve into each other’s area of expertise: Saul highlights law, ethics, and economic statistics, while Martha explores past philosophical treaties and current societal thinking. In all, it makes for a fascinating and well-reasoned exploration of the multiple issues we experience as we age. And “thoughtful” is a good descriptor. I found myself pondering some dilemmas I had never considered before, including various approaches to altruism that are more self-centered than selfless and the possible advantage of broader possibilities for sex and romance as we age.
I appreciated the focus on social justice issues in this book but cringed when Saul Levmore compared male and female circumcision on pages 98 and 99 (while both painful, these are NOT equivalent; male circumcision removes outer skin, while female genital mutilation removes the entire sex organ responsible for pleasure). Although ethics is not Saul Levmore’s area of expertise, the moral considerations involved in these practices are critical for the well-being of both male and female children worldwide. Levmore also seems to display a touch of privilege, patriarchy, and male sexism in the chapter “Can Wrinkles Be Glamorous?” which went unchallenged by Nussbaum in her following chapter. I was hoping for a debate!
From a feminist perspective, this exploration by Nussbaum and Levmore of issues that face us as we age is an important book: Nussbaum and Levmore engage without fear in the inequality of the elderly poor, the stigmatization of aging, and the ways in which we often stereotype older workers, see retired people as sexless or over-sexed, and often unintentionally deny basic rights (such as transportation and companionship) to those who are aging in our society. This book would be an appropriate companion text for undergraduate and graduate courses that address aging, as well as for clients in mid-life and beyond. We all need to thoughtfully consider these issues.