To Be or Not to Be Ok: The Development of the Child Ego State

People grow from potential OKness at birth to actualized OKness through the influence of OK Parenting. In the development of the Child the actualization of OKness depends upon the child being treated as if she is OK. Out of that experience she develops the basis for all subsequent OKness. Each stage in the development of the Child has a central existential issue that must be resolved for the establishment of OKness to take place. In C₁ the infant in his helplessness requires the Protection to be. In A₁ the Little Professor in her curiosity and new-found autonomy requires the Permission to be herself. In P₁ the child begins to wonder who and what kind of person he is going to be according to who and what his models are. The existential issue at this stage is therefore to gain the Potency to be able. Whether the child experiences enough OKness to express herself functionally in an OK manner depends on the relationship of a sense of being OK (Natural Child) to the emerging capacity for doing OK (Adapted Child). If being OK is not established OKness can never be obtained by trying to do OK as occurs in driver behavior.