Abstract
This article presents the results of a qualitative research study on intergenerational messages of Polish female seniors. Letters from seniors to the younger generation were investigated. In their narratives, the seniors focused a lot on self-reflection about death and dying—this is due to the theme which was to inspire the letters: My life—my death. The messages exposed an affirmative attitude toward the old age, the significance of faith and religion along with the simultaneous awareness of the fragility of life, and the necessity to face one’s own finiteness. The seniors also pointed out to family and relationships with their loved ones as the key value.
This article presents the results of the qualitative research study focused on the intergenerational message created by seniors and addressed to the younger generations. The justification of the subject significance and the theoretical and methodological introduction are followed by the analysis of the gathered data in reference to the theoretical assumptions. The final part of the text presents the conclusions resulting from the study.
An intergenerational message refers to the value of the life experience of seniors and their openness and authenticity in building good intergenerational relations. This message is affected by the differences in generational languages and the specifics of biographies marked with the sociocultural reality of people in their late adulthood; the latter are confronted with the generation entering their adulthood and having much less life experience. The intergenerational message gains significance when both parties open toward each other. The other human, the other, is not a stranger or even an enemy anymore but becomes a neighbor. 1 Seniors build their own message with the intent to share their own individual achievements, the essence of their experience gained throughout life with young people so they can learn from their biographies.
In his ontological interpretation of solitude, Levinas 2 begins with the assumption that time is the relationship between humans. Solitude is the unity between the existent and its work of existing. It is not only a despair but also “a virility, a pride, and a sovereignty.” It is possible to escape the solitude, thanks to the other person, the world, and death. Therefore, our perception of the world has to include the perspective of the others, other humans. This is the expression of humanity, worrying about other people.
When sharing their own experience with the other, people exposes their inner self, the personal, or even intimate sphere of their being. They attribute a vital meaning to this act, as it is motivated by the good of the other in the situation of the meeting and the will to support this other person intellectually and spiritually; support in preparation not only for harmonious development and functioning in the social environment but also to enable that other person to wisely accept challenges that, in the existential sense, influence that person’s future. 3
According to Tischner, a meeting is a special manifestation of other human’s presence; it is the “main source of all axiological experiences, including thinking.” 4 It is an event that is the starting point of drama with the unpredictable course and consequences. The philosopher emphasizes that in the situation of a meeting “good and evil, value and anti-value, joy and despair enter our inner reality in such a way that we do not run away from them.” 5 Thus, the meeting has a special existential significance and makes us assume that nothing “puzzles us more than meeting with the other. (…) A meeting is always an event and as such is a posteriori: it begins with the experience. However, it is at the same time possible thanks to some perfect a priori which secretly governs its course and precedes it. The presence of a priori encourages, among others, to repeat the meetings.” 6
In this context, the experience is crucial for the existential formation of a human. It is proven by its components: reflectional, experiential, and self-creational. What becomes the content of experience is the subject of individual reflection, sometimes repeatedly initiated by new events and life choices. The reflectional component is about subject’s self-determination against certain events, ideas, phenomena, and people he or she entered into a relation with. These events, ideas, phenomena, and individuals are identified with the content of individual experience. 7 The experiential component highlights the emotional attitude toward the certain contents of one’s experience. In this context, there is a significant aspect—of authentic bearing the consequences of aware and unaware, intentional and unintentional events, and situations in which the subject participates directly or indirectly. This way they become the lasting components of the subject’s biography. The self-creational component of one’s experience is connected with the possibility to use it in order to revise and construct the vision of self, the potential I (achievable in the subject’s opinion) as well as to set the direction for acting and planning the practical realization of that vision. The third component displays fully the existential grounds of life experience. It enables individuals to go beyond the reflective consciousness of what they have experienced and who they are and creates the possibility of intentional self-becoming and satisfaction in the perspective of the individual system of values and meanings—the personal logos and ethos. 8
The intergenerational context of learning from the biography of the other refers to the uniqueness of the human experience. The one who has experienced more, understands more, even though he or she may not have a wider theoretical knowledge. Moreover, this is impossible to work out or acquire by simulation, “by default,” or without personal involvement in experiencing the certain events. This is where seniors find the value of sharing their own experience with the representatives of the younger generation. 9
Learning from the life of the older generation shapes the individual experience of the learners who are yet at the beginning of their adult life. Then, when this process takes place, the experience of the other is viewed as a cognitively valuable source of the biographical reflection. This way, biographical learning from senior’s biography reveals the complex potential of existential education in this process. 10
In this context, it is important to notice the lack of inherent contradiction between learning from one’s own biography and learning from the biography of the other. Both processes refer to the widely understood biographical learning. Adopting the wide perspective of viewing the biographical learning evokes the context of subject’s self-creation performed on the basis of the in-depth reflection on the meanings and senses of one’s own life story. 11 The self-creational dimension of biographical learning is connected with subject’s identity-shaping quest for the answer to the question: Who do I want to be? Thus, biographical learning in the deepest self-creational layer stimulates the existential reflection about the meaning of one’s own life. 12
The existential context of learning outlines difficult or probably impossible to cancel meaning gained during the life course. It refers, according to Jarvis, to the phenomenon of conscious self-becoming of a man where “it is not important what an individual knows and can but what kind of man he or she has become” (p. 109). 13 This existential context of learning exposes the fragile and vanishing nature of human life 14 and, simultaneously, human ability to transcend oneself, one’s ambitions, expectations, desires, and life plans marked with the attitude of turning toward another human. The latter is done in the perspective of values that allow to drive some meaning out of them. This strive becomes particularly meaningful at the end of one’s life. It is then that seniors experience inner tensions, dilemmas, and conflicts leading them once again, this time finally, to self-determination in the axiological sphere; a determination necessary in the process of their existential self-becoming and fulfillment. 15 Yalom defines these concerns as existential and their main source is the awareness of one’s own death. The researcher lists the fear from death as the most important concern and then there is freedom constituted by responsibility and will. Other concerns are existential isolation and the sense of meaninglessness of life. 16 This list of ultimate concerns can be extended by another anxiety of the late adulthood such as loneliness, pain, balancing life, and experiencing losses. 17
For there are the negative aspects of experience that most often determine the biographical narratives. They do so in order to warn others of repeating one’s own mistakes; illustrate the sense of what is important and fundamental in life; and present the consequences of attitudes, opinions, decisions, and actions that contributed to the lower quality of one’s life and added to the negative life balance.
The Basis for the Methodology of Own Research
The aim of the research is to recognize the values that are crucial for seniors and the meanings attributed to these values, which become the content of the intergenerational message. The research object was the intergenerational message constructed by seniors for younger generations. It is formed through personal reflections over the sense of one’s own life in the perspective of its finiteness. In the course of the research, the problems were formulated as the following questions: What values and the interpretation thereof will seniors emphasize in their letters, treating them as the universal message generated from their own life? What types of own experiences do they present as significant in their life course and, thus, worth to be included in the message? What form (language, biographical accounts, and emotional approach to own life) will seniors choose to include in their intergenerational messages to address young people?
Due to the specifics of the research problems and the way they were addressed, the research was qualitative and conducted within the constructivist paradigm. 18 In the ontological layer, this paradigm points to the “subjective attitude toward the reality, that accepts relativism, that is, the presence of many locally constructed and reconstructed realities.” In the epistemological layer, it exposes the transactional nature of creating the outcomes from experiencing the reality. In the methodology layer, in turn, the constructivism paradigm refers to the hermeneutic studies of the created reality.
The research was conducted by means of biographical studies and the analysis of personal documents written for the purpose of the study. 19 The study material involved the letters written by seniors to young people. For the purpose of this article, the letters were selected from the wider set of epistles gathered within a bigger research project. For this article, the thematic qualitative analysis of the documents, letters written by seniors to younger generation, was conducted. The researchers associated the term “theme” with theses, doctrines, and messages connected with the meanings and senses within the analyzed empirical material.
The title My life—my death was the inspiration for the seniors to write letters analyzed further in this article. This motive was used as a factor that stimulated engaging in a more profound reflection on their own biographies. The title had evoked the perspective of the finiteness of human existence and the awareness of the upcoming end of life, and this perspective became an important element of individual messages written by the seniors. According to the research assumptions, this statement encouraged seniors to engage in the discussion and far-reaching existential reflection over the meaning of their own lives. On the other hand, it stimulated the willingness to share these reflections based on life experiences that were shaped through learning from own biographies. Such formula of the research provided an opportunity to learn about seniors’ individual approaches to their own biographies from the point of view of their idea of life, sensitivity, value systems, and decisions that determined their fate. It also allowed getting to know the sociocultural reality present in various periods of their life inscribed in their experiences.
The research procedure involved a two-way action. Seniors—students of the universities of the third age where the classes corresponding with the main research problems were carried out—were asked to write letters and submit them within a two weeks’ time. The assignment was not obligatory. The interested persons were asked to follow the guidelines included in the manual for writing the letters. Another group consisted of seniors from the Silesian and Małopolska Voivodeships recruited by university students. This way, the students of pedagogy completed their optional andragogy and gerontology assignments. They were to ask seniors—members of their families or neighbors—to write letters. The task was an alternative to the other assignment they could complete in the course of the didactic classes. In this case, it was also a voluntary task, and completing it was not obligatory to pass the subject. The students were trained on how to present the principles for writing letters and how to gather data. The letters collected by the students provided the material for the analysis of the intergenerational message conducted by students themselves during the biographical workshops. The students read the content of the letters and discussed the messages they contained, identified information which they considered to be of particular importance. It included family as a value, care about the other people, the fragility of life, and the value of faith in God. This also means that for some students, these could be the values that carry the message from the older generation.
There were no designated, specified recipients of the letters. Due to the lack of obligatory formula of the letters, some of the seniors created their narratives not addressed to younger generations. Therefore, the letters that were analyzed were purposefully selected—only the ones addressed to the younger generations were considered. The recipients of the letters are mainly grandchildren (six letters) and children (five letters, including one written to the daughter who passed away). They begin with the typical welcoming notes: “Dear Children,” “Maciek, my beloved grandson,” and more elevated ones such as “The spiritual testament for my children.” These letters are more personal and more emotional. The other letters are addressed to a younger friend, “Dear Students,” “Dear Strangers,” and “Dear Young Pole.” The last three are full of pathos and contain many direct commands and instructions.
The research was carried out between September 2011 and June 2014. There were a total of 50 letters obtained and then selected. The main criterion was that the letter is clearly addressed to the younger generation, as the aim of the study was to analyze only the messages addressed to other generations. Another criterion was the age of the authors—the bottom line was the age of sixty years. Fifteen letters were written by people aged between sixty and eighty-four and addressed to the younger generation—these were analyzed. This was not the initial assumption; however, the letters that met the above-mentioned criteria were written by women only. The average life span of Polish women in their late adulthood is 81.6 years 20 (GUS 2017). The retired are 16 percent of Polish population, and the average pension for women amounts up to Polish New Złoty (PLN) 1,698.09, which is about 400 euro (GUS 2015). In light of the present study, the fact that Poles are a very religious nation may be of importance. As much as 89 percent declared their membership in the church, out of which 90 percent are Catholics (GUS 2015), even though less than 43 percent regularly attend church services and pray. Polish seniors are very satisfied with their family life, are active in the family–social areas and, generally, are content with their life. 21
The analysis of the qualitative data, that is, the content of the letters, was conducted according to the 3Cs principle by Lichtman. It involves moving from “rough data to significant statements by using: coding, categorizing and concepts.” 22 The coding process was inductive. 23 The process of formulating the concepts had several stages: initial coding and revisiting initial coding that lead to the development of the code structure, developing and modifying the list of categories derived from the coded data—resulting in generating the list of categories and subcategories considered as crucial in the perspective of the adopted research problems, and developing concepts that allowed the final description and interpretation. 24 In the process of qualitative analysis, the triangulation of the researchers was used. The researchers also used Nvivo version 11 procomputer program. All generalizations refer to the research sample only.
Main Categories in the Intergenerational Messages
On the basis of the gathered research material, three forms of letters were identified; however, in some cases, they are intertwined. The first style can be called reflectional. The authors referred in their letters to the past and the presence, and they pointed to the most emotional experiences in their life. The texts were dominated by the sense of missing other persons, and the message itself was not exposed. The second style was identified as biographical. In this group, the seniors described their whole-life experience, gently pointing to the most significant values. The third type of letters was more mentoring-like. They included warnings, advices, and appeals, even begging addressed to young people not to ignore what the older, more experienced people have to say to them. That what was considered as important in life was expressed in direct statements and strong definitions.
In the initial and concentrated coding procedure of the narrative statements in the seniors’ letters to the younger generations, the thirteen semantic categories referring to the three areas of biographical reflection were identified (Figure 1). These areas—existential, axiological, and relations with social environment—determine the quality and the sense of human life. During the qualitative analysis, a range of specific subcategories that form the rather complex structure of meanings and senses was identified. The latter are important enough in seniors’ opinion to make them central elements of their messages to the younger generations.

Categories present in the narratives of the seniors. Source: Authors’ own compilation.
At first, the qualitative analysis reveals a seemingly ambivalent picture of the content structure of the empirical material. On the one hand, the seniors seem to be overwhelmed with the reflections about the end of their life as well as hardships and suffering this fact entails. On the other hand, the very same seniors present relatively open and positive attitudes with the dominating elements of life affirmation, the attitudes of valuing others and lifelong learning. However, it is worth to emphasize that the content of the letters is not one big complaint about the meaningless life, faulty design of the world with limited time frames for human existence, or resentment or bitterness toward God for giving them the life they had. One can notice the positive tone of the letter theme: My life—my death. This “my” is a symbolic platform between life and death. This thought may be continued as follows: it is “my” life as I am aware of that life and the way I live it, and it is “my” death which I am also aware will come someday and, paradoxically, I will have to experience it to the full until my life ends.
Positive connotation revealed in many narratives indicates the following interpretation: I have something I could not have or could have lost; something I should take care of, develop, and cocreate; and something that needs to be understood and recognized. Instead of claiming, I have too little; I have not what I need, not when it was time for it, and not for always—they accept their life circumstances: “it is wonderful that my family is with me; I enjoy every moment of my life; I am happy that I have rich experience and knowledge about life.” Thus, seniors take the constructive stance: they express their fears, anxieties, and pain but keep the distance and accept the situation. Thanks to this, they are able to express joy and to acknowledge the fact they have been given so many years to live, so many experiences to gain, have met so many people, and have completed so many tasks. Moreover, they remain cheerful, sharing their experiences with an educational intent. They open and explain to young people the values they consider crucial to their own life experience.
Direct and Indirect Messages
The above-mentioned semantic categories were divided into two groups: direct and indirect messages. Direct messages were the codes including calls, commands, requests, and statements with direct remarks and opinions about life, formulated as directly addressed to other persons (younger generations). The other group, identified with indirect messages, includes descriptions of events, reflections, and accounts containing more “hidden” messages. In order to understand them, one needs to reflect deeper on their possible meanings that can be read from one’s own and other’s life experience.
Direct messages include affirmation of love, goodness and respect toward others, accepting the present situation, calling to reflection, encouraging to deal with difficulties, decreasing the significance of material and bodily values, recognizing the highest values in faith in God, enduring pain with dignity, encouraging to use the experience of the seniors, and affirmation of lifelong learning. Besides, the components of the direct messages are single messages identified in the individual narratives of seniors: authenticity; life optimism; care for relations with one’s social environment, especially the relationships with the loved ones; and warning against living too fast and against the hardships of the passing life.
The indirect messages generated the following categories: difficulties regarding death and dying, faith and religiousness, suffering as the anxiety of the old age, life balance, old age as a difficult life period, old age as a joyful time, ups and downs of the past, the value of relationships, family as a value, life experience as a value, and difficulties in adapting to the modern realities of life.
Multicontextuality of Meanings in the Research Perspective
The discussion about the research results is illustrated by the map of meanings recalled by the seniors in their intergenerational messages (Table 1). Due to the thematic framework of this article, it has been developed for the existential perspective.
Multicontextuality of Meanings Recalled by the Seniors in the Existential Perspective.
Source: Authors’ own compilation.
In their narratives, seniors focus the most on the matters regarding meditation on death and dying. However, it is worth to notice that these reflections exceed the stereotype image of old people. On the one hand, there is quite unusual interest in death expressed in a cognitive context; on the other hand, there is the rejection of traditional thinking of the seniors as people who, due to their age, think only about death. Typical statements are the characteristic illustration of such attitudes. The cognitive context: “I wonder what will happen to me after I die—just a human curiosity.” The defying context: “All every old man thinks about is death. I’m seventy-eight years old and I can definitely say this is not my case.”
However, interest in death or avoiding thinking about it does not exclude anxiety regarding the inevitable death. Moreover, the first two attitudes may even result from the latter. Such attitudes may demonstrate themselves, both, in earnest attempts to repress thoughts about passing away and in confrontation, increased interest in human mortality, and a strong need to disclose this mystery. All this in order to deal somehow with the thanatic fear. Author of one letter described the death of her sister with words “the tragedy that came upon me.” This indicates her focus on self and her own feelings, with no consideration of the experiences of others or the very hard experience of dying of a close family member. The narrator also does not accept the fact of death; she sees such acceptance as “the mankind’s failure.” Another variant of anxiety expressed by the seniors is their fear of dying alone. Then, in the moment of passing away, at least partial support that calms strong emotions and spiritual anxiety is provided by the presence of another person who suffers together with the dying one. In this context, there is a characteristic wish seniors express: “It is important not to die alone and this is something we must take care of too.”
In many letters, fear from death is the background of reflection: “Sooner or later that day will come. Will I be able to say goodbye to you? Will I have time to do this? For sure, this will be a very hard moment. It is still hard to imagine today.” The acceptance of death or the lack of it is revealed in seniors’ statements pointing to their helplessness against the fact of limited human life and no possibility to change this state of things: “It is hard for me to write about it, because you’re never ready to die, you can only accept this fact or learn to live with this thought for the rest of your life.” It can also take the form of a passive submission to common processes of the passing life in the universe; the processes humans have practically no control over: “Passing away is inscribed in our existence . It is not true that I am not afraid of old age, weakness, death. Every human is afraid but one can prepare for the ultimate — not physically but mentally. It does not matter if you are a believer or not (…). Every journey comes to an end one day and our life marathon reaches its finishing line.” It can also take the form of natural giving way to the younger generations: “Since young ones may die then the old ones must too, this is how the things are, you have to give way to others.”
On the opposite pole of thinking about death, there is reflection on it in the context of the spiritual dimension of human existence—the approach that assumes human existence in relation to eternity. Then the passing nature of human life does not mean a decisive end of everything it entails, but it becomes an evolution toward other forms or states of life. These forms last timelessly in the eternity, that is, in everything that is the source of life—the absolute, the divine person. When the acceptance of death becomes understandable, as death undergoes a radical metamorphosis—from the end of everything—it presents itself a transition stage in one’s existence. Such background reveals the existential and the religious approaches. The first one is connected with seniors’ reflections that reveal the affirmation of human (own) life and its missional character. There comes a conclusion that one lives for a purpose (to fulfill an idea) and lives for others (experiencing the given time together). It seems that this may be the interpretation of statements like “I had been sick a lot, I was close to death in 1972 in Cracow, I went through a clinical death and came back to a life of the living with a beautiful message of life.” The religious approach, in turn, entails the acceptance of the temporal character of life here on earth in exchange for eternity in another reality: “This doesn’t have to be like that when we realize we are only pilgrims on this earth”; thankful attitudes toward God: “There were moments in my life when I thought as my mother. Will God let her raise her son into adulthood? And he did. She died when her son was twenty-one. He has let me raise my youngest kids till they were adults. Today, I thank God for everything. This life passes so fast. I’m already sixty-two years old.”
Probably the most difficult aspect in thinking about death revealed in some narratives is references to the biographical facts about the loss of the loved ones. As pointed by the seniors, the suffering accompanying such events often lasts for years and it is hard to get over: “You have left me with beautiful memories, and pain and longing of which one will never be free.” It seems that seniors treat the loss of a loved one as they have lost part of themselves, their own world that died along with that person’s death. The death of one’s own child is particularly hard to one’s psyche and spirituality. The trauma seems to have no end, even if the narrators were able to reach some psychological balance and returned to normal functioning. “The memory of the ones that are gone has never failed and the pain has remained in my heart”; “Our joy lasted very short, only one day. Our baby boy was born premature and died, and we were left with a terrific pain. I know for sure there is no greater pain for a mother than death of your own child because I’ve been there.”
The acceptance of death seems to correspond with the awareness of its proximity, the awareness of dying and the attempts to prepare oneself spiritually for the final moment of one’s life. With an inner strength and, despite everything, enjoying every aspect of life, seniors try to encourage their loved ones while saying goodbye: “When (that) day comes, I will surely be ready for it”; “I’m saying goodbye to you, my dear children and I want to tell you that I’m dying knowing you are happy.”
One of the seniors presented a different view on death. It combines several elements: “taming” death, accepting its inevitability, and a specific spiritual connection with the deceased. This symbolic dimension of immortality is connected with living in other people’s memories and hearts after passing away: “And then remember your teacher—a retired woman who gave you part of her life. (…) And when I’m not here anymore, think at least for a moment about our common school misery.”
Apart from its existential aspect, fear of death—quite strongly visible in the narratives—is accompanied by fear of suffering as death is usually associated with it. Fear of the physical pain and mental exhaustion caused by illness, especially when it aggravates, leads to anxiety about one’s own death. However, there are some statements of seniors who, due to being exhausted with their disease, are not afraid of passing away; one can even think they are waiting for it. They express a great fear from pain accompanying further, more advanced stages of their disease. Words of one of the seniors may be an example: “My life, my death, I am on familiar terms with death, I mean I am used to it every day, I just do not want to suffer.”
Another aspect of relating to one’s own suffering is fear from the loss of independence and self-sufficiency. Seniors value a lot their autonomy and life self-sufficiency in satisfying their basic needs. For them, suffering quite often means the loss of independence in this area and the necessity to be under someone else’s care. Thus, this fear may be described as anticare. It assumes attempts to maintain the present life activity. This entails aversion toward everyday forms of care, not mentioning nursing care, provided by the loved ones, as seniors are afraid of becoming a burden for their families. Such situations are seen by seniors as a failure to keep the right balance between being useful and being bothersome in their relations with their environment. They want to be helpful and maybe useful in some situations, definitely not destined to be constantly under somebody’s care, like in the following statement: “I don’t know how long I’m going to live but what I’m anxious the most about is being ill for a long time and being a burden to you.”
However, we need to notice that in seniors’ narratives, there is dominating constructive or even affirmative attitude to the old age and to every stage of life. Seniors present themselves in their intergenerational messages as cheerful people who have managed to find their way to have a meaningful life. Thus, they introduce themselves as persons whose life experience and wisdom are unquestionable advantages in intergenerational relations with the ones who already entered the adulthood and do not expect many difficulties, obstacles, temptations, and disappointments. Even if they do not claim the right to be infallible, they are aware of the value of their knowledge. Moreover, they want to share it with their environment. Affirmation of the old age is revealed in seniors’ narratives in the context of high self-evaluation and readiness to engage in various forms of activities: “Because older person has a great knowledge, rich life experience and this makes me glad that I know what I’m living for and I have the sense of life”; “Today, I’m an artist and a grandmother—the happiest grandmother!” Another context for such attitude toward the old age is the sense of family fulfillment: “I enjoy every day and every moment spent with my family”; “I had a great luck in life and a good husband. Now my life turns mainly around my daughters and grandchildren, whom I can always count on. I don’t want anything else from life and I don’t need anything except good health. I have everything.” The last sentence refers to the already mentioned context of autonomy and subjective activity of seniors. It is the context of remaining active as long as possible in each sphere of human functioning. The following narrative excerpts are very meaningful: “Unfortunately, we don’t know how long I can be with you, my dear. Open our family coffee shop in the morning and wait who first knocks on the door. It’s wonderful you are so close. We meet every day, we talk a lot and have no secrets”; “Will I be able to get old in my armchair, where you would often lose track of time while we chat and share our inner selves? If I’m that lucky, come, visit me, don’t let me sit alone, doing nothing.”
We cannot ignore a rather overwhelming interpretation of own biography and present life situation pictured by one of the seniors. In her case, difficult life conditions did not result from the external factors that affected the quality of life and opportunities for personal development but were rooted directly in her family environment. They originated in the fact that she did not find fulfillment in parental nor marital love. The series of failures in the emotional sphere, interpreted by the senior in this way, reveal her deep developmental deficits which she has not overcome and which mark her attitude toward herself and her life. The narrator complains: I suffered a lot in life and I am still suffering. I’ve been fighting with the disease for over twenty years and I’m still under treatment. On the way, I lost my loved ones, that is, my mother, my father, my brother Zbigniew, my brother Leopold and I’ve been left alone. And I also suffered from the lack of love, orphan disease when I was a child and then in my marriage due to egoism and coldness of the loved ones. I was and I am unappreciated and unnoticed with deficits and I’m very sensitive, such people are called losers, life failures.
Engaging in biographical reflection increases seniors’ ability to discern what was good in their life and behavior and what was negative. They become more aware of their developmental, family, or professional successes and failures, the good done to others out of love as well as the wrongs and damages. Such summarizing and evaluating manner of analyzing one’s own life is an attempt, sometimes updated again and again, to balance life. Such evaluation may play different roles. As for letter written by the seniors, basically two functions are revealed: redressing and supportive. They both have constructive implications.
The first function is based on the awareness of past mistakes. It is an honest regret for the mistakes made and, if possible, the will to redress them. One narrator’s reflections about the mistakes in the religious education of her children were very emotional. After many years, she finally understood that her parenting methods could not have led to the desired spiritual development of her children. Is seems, however, that through honest and painful criticism of her own behavior she tries, at least partially, to redress her mistakes: I remember preparations to the First Communion, learning few formulas by heart and so much time spent on cooking, gifts and nothing more than that. As a Catholic, how unreliable I had to look in your small, smart eyes (…). Wasn’t that an empty ritual for you, a miserable decorum, dressed up and artificial? Did you, as teenagers, not despise such faith? (…) You did not oppose it, and you are going to pass this great NOTHING on your children? I feel a spiritual bankrupt when I look at what I have passed on to you.
Conceptualization of the Research Results
The starting point for the interpretation of the research concepts are the references to the theoretical assumptions developed by Mead 25 in her study of the generation gap. The authors give their own answer: they sometimes present themselves as persons who found satisfaction in life, sometimes present their own biographies as failed, marked with the events that emphasize the sense of existential void as shown by Frankl in his logotherapy-based concept of man. 26 In the other variant, they consider their biography as not worthy to be followed and they do not present themselves as the role models. Then, their experience and attitude towards life is marked with suffering from not being able to give meaning to their life what Frankl described as homo patiens. 27 After all, searching for meaning of life or fulfilling that meaning is necessary for humans to believe their life has value and to experience existential fulfillment. They present their own biographical experience as a reason to search for other life styles rather than copy their wrong life decisions. 28 It needs to be emphasized that the analyzed letters reveal the variety of axiological preferences of the seniors as well as the contexts of the recalled values. Despite that, the seniors show clearly depreciating attitude toward the values described by Scheler as the value of a thing category and affirmative attitude toward the value of a person category. 29 The consistency of the seniors—not knowing one another, having different, often incompatible life experience—in this completely fundamental matter needs to be considered very significant in the light of the existential perspective of the biographical reflections. This indicates that they notice and recognize as crucial those values that are associated with people, 30 that expose a unique and irreplaceable dimension of being with others and for one another. In this context, the existential self-becoming and fulfillment become meaningful in the perspective of presence and authentic relation with another human. 31
An in-depth reflection on the presented categories and subcategories (see Figure 1 and Table 1) has led the researchers to the conceptualization of the three key ideas embedded in the existential–axiological sphere. They are (1) faith as reading the sense of one’s own life in the religious aspect, (2) being with other people as the value of mutual presence, and (3) the “power” of creative development of one’s own life.
The first concept is identified with the modality of sacral or religious values understood as seniors’ response to the opportunity to build a relationship with the absolute, the personal God. Two semantic layers of faith are revealed: eschatological—faith is viewed as the way to overcome the existential anxiety and existential—faith is understood as the way to give meaning to one’s life despite previous mistakes and negligence.
Being with other people exposes the significance of meeting others in different spheres and sociocultural situations. This idea is identified with the modality of cultural (spiritual) values and is presented in three semantic layers: being needed by someone, understood as an opening to the moral good (bonum honestum) generated by the love of one’s neighbor; fulfilling the need of generativity referred to family as the space of social life that provides the opportunity to find satisfaction in the key developmental tasks; and educational impact exercised in the family environment, viewed as the opportunity to share one’s own experience for the benefit of others.
The third concept—the power to develop one’s own life in a creative manner—is identified with the modality of the vital values. It is expressed in the following three semantic layers: affirmation of life at every stage—this affirmation is expressed to the full in seniors’ attitude of having no fear of aging and enjoying this period of life; subjective development of one’s own life—referring both to the belief in the real capability to shape one’s own fate and the inevitable, individual responsibility for one’s life choices; and remaining active—which has its gerontological aspect connected with overcoming difficulties resulting from the progressing degradation of one’s own body.
Conclusions
In the context of the assumed research problems, the analysis of the research material leads to the following conclusions: The existentially important values suggested by the seniors in their letters include the values of the person. They can be found in the context of modeling one’s own behavior according to sacral, religious values as well as in the context of building relationships, mainly in the family environment. The key element of these relationships is mutuality and positive feelings toward one another. Seniors attribute a particular meaning to the vital values presented in the context of the active attitude of personal self-creation, shaping one’s own fate through overcoming personal weaknesses and barriers, and taking life challenges that change in time, yet, it is important to face them boldly. The dual picture of the old age is quite a surprising research outcome. The letters contain many references to the old age presented by the seniors in the context of suffering, loneliness, physical degeneration, and fear from pain brought by illness and death. These references, however, are not the expressions of despair, self-pitying, or cursing one’s misfortune. Rather, they are accompanied by accepting this state and understanding one’s own fate. Seniors do not try to present themselves as heroes who are not afraid to suffer and die. On the contrary, when speaking about the fragility of human life, its finite and unpredictable nature, they refer to their own experiences. They are aware of their own mistakes, failures, and weaknesses interpreted in various ways as well as their achievements and important matters. From this perspective, they assign the key meaning to the latter. Another illustration of the dual picture of aging is positively evaluated life maturity and, concurrently, resignation from direct verbal references to own experience that would be presented as a value. However, the researchers do not think that this is the tendency to depreciate the role and significance of life experience by the seniors. In many statements, they treat their experience and reflection built over it as the source of their own life wisdom and the main reason for sharing it with the less experienced. In their letters, the seniors radiate with their positive attitude toward life, enjoying every moment when they feel well, are able to act, meet, talk, remember, educate, and learn. At the same time, we can see how they boldly face difficulties and suffering life brings. Moreover, it seems that this is where we find the unlimited potential for exchanging thoughts and experiences, understanding of values, mutual support, and intergenerational learning.
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Stimulating, updating, and developing this potential is the necessary condition for building social capital based on learning the mutual openness and effective collaboration.
In this context, it must be emphasized that the key message of the intergenerational messages is keeping the cheerful spirit, reasonable conduct in life (not ignoring the experiences of other people), and the strive to tighten relationships and to build lasting family bonds. 33 This is the heart of seniors’ message to young people: “Do not be afraid of the old age!” Life is beautiful and precious, and the way you live it depends primarily on yourself and your attitude toward others. Everything may seem an unbearable hardship, nuisance, and failure. However, the same things may be perceived differently. Moreover, such view then fosters the creative search and real spiritual maturing; it can be the reason for being satisfied as one grows and for the sense of fulfillment in the lifelong process of personal existence.
Footnotes
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
