Abstract
The American media obsession with mass shootings is understandable; nearly one American is killed each day on average in a mass shooting (325 people died in 2015). Yet in the same year, 3 times as many women are murdered by a current or former partner and the media coverage pales. The fact that we’re not equally shocked and horrified by both types of killings, to quote the authors, “says a great deal about American culture and the commonplace notion of killing women.” We might respond, “if she was abused then why didn’t she leave?” Abusive Endings examines what happens when women begin to leave abusive relationships. A woman’s risk of murder increases by 9 times when she exits an abusive relationship, particularly within the first 2 months. That risk of death spreads to her children. Between one third and one half of homicide victims following relationship separation are children killed by their fathers. Thus, marks the entrée of seemingly private business into the very public worlds of law enforcement, health, child welfare, and family law.
Abusive Endings is fourth in the series Gender and Justice (Editor Claire Renzetti), which seeks to “challenge assumptions” and “transform practice and policy.” The authors ground this work in over 40 years of studying gender violence and after consulting 586 sources of relevant materials.
In the first two chapters, the authors conceptualize, define, and describe male violence against women. The first myth debunked: Abuse is a mental health problem. In fact, it is commonplace behavior predictable and easily understood. The authors call for a broad definition of separation and divorce violence to include physically, legally, or emotionally exiting a marital or cohabitating relationship and a broad definition of violence to include physical, psychological, verbal, and spiritual. They next call for a gender-specific definition to debunk the second myth: Women are as violent as men. Gender-neutral “intimate partner violence” language obfuscates the overwhelming scientific evidence. Despite the antifeminist backlash, men are the primary offenders and women are the primary targets of intimate violence. Attention to definitions is critical, as a narrow conceptualization of separation/divorce violence results in many behaviors not counted in the collection and analysis of data necessary to support the development of theory.
Without an explanation, we cannot expect change. The third myth is debunked: Most abused women do leave. That act of separation is a primary risk factor for fatal violence, for themselves, and for their children.
Chapter 3 examines the role of new technologies in facilitating abuse, stalking, and harassment. In a patriarchal culture where financial control is typically held by men, abused women are particularly vulnerable to cell phone, credit card, and banking activity tracking. Advances in computer spyware, hidden spy cameras, social network site intrusion, and image-based sexual assault (revenge pornography) increase opportunities for abuse. Technologies have also increased exposure to the normalization of violence against women. For instance, pornography, widely available online, perpetuates a rape-supportive culture. The critical connection is that evidence identifies porn as risk factor for sexual violence, particularly among male peer support groups encouraging the view of women as possessions. Unfortunately, the authors note “social scientific theoretical and empirical developments have not kept pace with the rapid spread of cybercrimes…”
Chapter 4 reviews prominent theories of separation/divorce violence, most of which are rooted in feminist explanations of societal patriarchy and male proprietariness. Patriarchy describes the North American broad cultural forces that maintain male domination. Our gendered structure values men over women, clearly illustrated in the division of domestic labor (placing a higher burden of childcare and domestic work on women) and a wage gap that results in lower pay for women in the workforce. A patriarchal society promotes male proprietariness, the tendency of men to view women as property. That historical notion maintains deep roots in both our legal and religious systems. Separation is an extreme public challenge to an entitled man. Our culture focuses on the question “why doesn’t she leave?” However, male violence is male behavior, which will never be explained by the characteristics of women. We must collect data and test theories on men to advance social scientific inquiry. The real question is “why does he do that?”
Chapter 5 describes children as “collateral victims” of men’s violence against women. Violence against women and children often co-occurs, witnessed regularly in family court. For mothers, parenting concerns are central to their fear of leaving. While child custody issues are typically settled by parents without dispute, the majority of disputed family court cases involve reported abuse. The handling of these cases is all too often in direct opposition to the research and evidence. Outcomes for children exposed to abuse are well-documented to include trauma, behavior and health problems, homelessness, and delinquency. Add sleep disturbances, academic failure, depression, and suicide for kids who witness their mother’s murder (or attempted murder, which occurs 3 times as often). Children need protection, despite the patriarchal family norms that permeate family law court and prioritize father contact over histories of abuse. The overwhelming evidence suggests that separation/divorce will not end an abusive man’s violence. Shared custody and visitation allow batterers to continue their abuse after a separation/divorce. Family courts that enforce such contact leave mothers unable to get out and achieve safety for themselves and their children.
Chapter 6 asks “what is to be done?” Legal reforms could restrict gun access and criminalize coercive control behaviors (including revenge porn). Compulsory violence and abuse education for family law practitioners should prioritize safety and integrate research. An ideological shift in family law is required to move from a system that preserves patriarchal norms and focuses on parents’ rights to one that focuses on children’s actual risk. Practitioners should be trained on the use of standardized tools to improve the accuracy of dangerousness assessments as opposed to reliance on “experts.” Researchers need to examine the overlap of woman and child abuse, further examine the significance of separation as a trigger for abuse escalation, examine nonphysical forms of abuse, and study the long-term impact of exposure to woman abuse on children. Enhancing social services could provide the necessary support to women trying to leave an abusive relationship, including food, living expenses, childcare, education, job training, and loans to begin an independent life. Most men are not abusive, and men can play a critical role in the change process. Silence is complicity. The feminist men’s movement, with such examples as the White Ribbon Campaign, raises public awareness and brings men to the table. Finally, new electronic communication and marketing campaigns are gaining momentum in the international struggle to end men’s violence against women.
Abusive Endings is written by self-proclaimed feminist scholars and practitioners who indeed challenge our beliefs and fuel our appetite for knowledge. It is a powerful resource for researchers, practitioners, policy makers, and all humans, inspiring us to challenge and alter our culture’s response to men’s violence against women.