Abstract
Within the specific cultural and historical context of Swedish adult education, this article employs autoethnography to explore teachers’ complex experiences during the era of neoliberalism. Its aim is to illuminate teachers’ multifaceted realities within this dynamic and shed light on the diverse challenges and struggles they encounter. Drawing on personal experiences and Stephen Ball's conceptual framework, the article asserts that neoliberal ideologies prompt significant shifts in education, emphasizing market-oriented practices, individualization, and flexibility. Consequently, these influences have a profound impact on teachers’ work, belief systems, values, behaviors, and pedagogical approaches. The narrative offers insights into the emotional, professional, and ethical challenges prompted by these reforms. It captures the interplay between policy changes, teachers’ responses, and broader implications for education quality and teachers’ wellbeing. This process becomes interwoven with teachers’ negotiations amid tensions between neoliberal policies and their professional ideals, evoking a range of emotions—from subjective alienation to ontological uncertainty.
Keywords
Introduction
I firmly believe, as Tierney (2002, p. 429) succinctly states, that “writing matters.” This autoethnographic article emerged from a deeply personal therapeutic process, driven by a desire to understand and reconcile my paradoxical emotions, thoughts, and bodily experiences as an adult teacher during neoliberal times. For others, this text may serve other purposes, such as evoking recognition and/or being purposefully informative. It is informative by showing that the main goal of neoliberal reform policy, as suggested by Ball (2003, 2016a), is to reshape the structure of the world's education system, and mold a new type of teachers, who excel at maximizing their performance in relation to predefined objectives. Drawing upon personal experiences and Ball's conceptualizations of teachers’ subjectivity transformation, encapsulated as “the struggle over the teachers’ soul” (Ball, 2003, p. 291), I argue that, within neoliberal contexts, there is huge potential to reshape teachers’ subjectivities. This suggests that teachers’ self-perception, roles, teaching ethos, and interactions with students change significantly due to the pressures and values associated with neoliberalism. This transformative process shapes the core of the teaching identity, molding responsibilities, educational goals, and student relationships. It underscores the interplay between external influences and teachers’ internal identity, revealing the dynamic nature of education within the neoliberal landscape.
Setting the Scene
Since the 1980s, a series of educational reforms has dramatically transformed the Swedish education system. These reforms are characterized by decentralization, shifting the governance from the state to municipalities, and marketization, introducing market-driven and neoliberal elements and values into the welfare system. They bring changes to governance, pedagogy, and organizational aspects, emphasizing freedom of choice and flexibility for students, while also imposing regulation and performance expectations on teachers, reshaping their roles and identities. Today, Sweden boasts one of the world's most decentralized and market-driven education systems, with adult education being the form most profoundly influenced by neoliberal reforms (Dahlstedt & Fejes, 2018). This marketization has resulted in significant consequences for teachers in adult education, including limited professional freedom, precarious employment, restricted opportunities for skills development, and stress among staff (Fejes & Holmqvist, 2019).
Swedish Municipal Adult Education (SMAE), also known as Komvux, has been an integral part of the Swedish public education system since 1968. It can be regarded as a second-chance education offering free elementary and secondary-level courses and Swedish language courses for migrants. The contemporary educational context of SMAE is marked by several distinctive aspects. The student group targeted is highly heterogeneous, with a significant majority being foreign-born, due to societal changes such as refugeeism and global conflicts. This education is also highly flexible and individualized, allowing students to enroll throughout the year, combine studies with work, choose online or onsite courses, and select their own pace of study. Moreover, SMAE is characterized by its fast-paced nature, with courses completed in 5 to 20 weeks, half the time of their upper-secondary education equivalent.
Furthermore, SMAE is a heterogeneous institution organized independently by each of Sweden's 290 municipalities, which vary in size, population, and resources. Each municipality can choose how to organize adult education locally, either by delivering courses themselves, outsourcing courses to private providers through tender-based procurement, or combining these options. Teachers working for public and private providers in SMAE experience contrasting conditions. Private providers face higher student-to-teacher ratios compared to their public counterparts. Job security is uncertain due to contracts typically ranging from 2 to 4 years. Organizational variations influence working conditions and opportunities for teachers, creating a precarious situation for both teachers and schools (see Fejes et al., 2020; Holmqvist et al., 2021).
Educational reforms always bring specific problems that teachers have to solve in the local context (Ball et al., 2012). As a former teacher in SMAE, between the years 2001 and 2015, in a medium-sized town in southwestern Sweden, I witnessed and experienced how educational reforms and neoliberal thinking brought serious implications for my work and professional identity. The policy outlined in key national documents, such as the Education Act (SFS, 2010:800) and Curriculum for Adult Education (Swedish National Agency for Education, 2012) posed significant challenges for me, because they emphasized increased flexibility, individualization, and individual adaptation to cater for the unique needs of students. These policies not only demanded new teaching approaches but also increased my workload. I observed how neoliberal thought and processes gradually affected my own wellbeing. I felt work overload, performance anxiety, frustration, and alienation, along with sleeping problems, physical aches, and fatigue (see Mahon, 2021).
In this article, I employ an autoethnographic approach to illuminate the experiences of teachers in the context of neoliberalism within a specific historical and cultural adult education setting. By exploring the disruptions, challenges, and struggles caused by these policies, my aim is to provide valuable insights into the transformative impact on teachers’ subjectivities. Drawing from my own perspective as a teacher of adults, this article delves into the emotional and subjective repercussions of neoliberalism, contributing to the existing body of research on policy enactment studies (Ball et al., 2012). Moreover, it adds depth and understanding to the adult education field, enhancing our knowledge of teachers’ lived realities and the influence of neoliberal reforms on their professional identities.
Framing the Narrative in Previous Research
Extensive scholarly discussions have focused on the tensions experienced by teachers as a result of neoliberal changes in education. Scholars such as Hargreaves (1998) and Ball (2003) have introduced concepts such as “deprofessionalization” and “the struggle over the teacher's soul” to capture the complexities of this development. Findings from studies in various educational systems reveal an increase in bureaucracy and teachers’ workload, particularly in nonteaching administrative tasks, resulting in stress, reduced wellbeing, and job dissatisfaction (see Ball, 2003; Bäckström, 2021). In the context of SMAE, the task of writing individual study plans emerges as a prominent outcome of the underlying evaluation and monitoring culture rooted in neoliberalism, which contributes to the increased workload for teachers of adults. Carlson and Jacobsson (2019) also observe a shift in work orientation toward preparing students for employability, rather than nurturing their personal growth as individuals. As a result, they conclude that SMAE no longer performs its democratic and civic functions. A study conducted by Fejes et al. (2016) found that principals and students largely conform to the emerging demands of a marketized system, while teachers of adults exhibit a greater degree of resistance toward its logics.
In the context of adult education, research by Beach (2004) and Carlson and Jacobsson (2019) highlights the frequent clash between teachers’ professional interests and ideals and the interests of policy and other stakeholders. This clash leads to an ongoing negotiation of professional identity as teachers respond to evolving policies. Beach (2004) argues that teachers of adults must adapt and accept their new market-oriented teacher identity. However, Colliander (2019) emphasizes variations in these teachers’ responses based on their interpretations of the potential consequences of these changes. Some teachers of adults perceive these changes as jeopardizing their professional autonomy and the quality of education, leading them to resist, explore alternative teaching methods, or embrace technology and digital tools.
Samuelsson (2019) highlights the variation in teachers’ responses depending on the specific context. In market-oriented settings, teachers often perceive themselves as victims of circumstances with much to lose; they feel constrained and forced to adapt, with limited ability to influence their work. They often prioritize the meeting of contextual requirements over their own professional convictions. Teachers’ experiences are undoubtedly influenced by the context in which they work. However, as pointed out by Holmqvist (2022), it is crucial to recognize the significant role of teacher agency in adult education. Teachers actively respond to policy changes by interpreting and adapting policies, negotiating professional identities, and engaging in resistance or alternative practices, challenging the notion of teachers as passive recipients of policy.
Individualizing processes in adult education have been widely discussed, both in Sweden and internationally, and encompass diverse interpretations and meanings. These processes are often seen as comprehensive solutions to address a range of societal needs and challenges, including unemployment, social integration, and personal fulfillment, as well as to address student diversity, improve the efficiency and quality of education, and facilitate workforce transition (Mufic & Fejes, 2022; Papadopoulos, 2022). These individualizing processes are particularly prominent in the context of SMAE, and have led to significant organizational transformations. Traditional practices, such as joint course starts, cohesive classes, and on-site learning spaces have been replaced with flexible study options, ongoing admissions, and online learning. According to Papadopoulos (2022), policy demands for individualizing vary depending on spatial, temporal, cultural, and economic circumstances. This necessitates interactions and negotiations among multiple stakeholders, including students, teachers, school administrators, and political and labour-market entities, each with their own goals and expectations regarding individualizing processes. The diverse interpretations and meanings associated with these processes create an uncertain landscape for the agents responsible for initiating and implementing them. Additionally, Fejes et al. (2016) note that these processes not only cause tensions among stakeholders but also challenge long-established understandings of the purpose of adult education.
However, despite the existing literature about the implications of neoliberal changes in education for teachers, there remains a notable gap in the research when it comes to understanding the nuanced and multifaceted ways in which the subjectivities of teachers of adults are transformed within adult education settings. Current studies largely overlook adult education, resulting in limited research on how teachers in adult education settings grapple with the distinct challenges of neoliberal influence. Furthermore, while studies like those by Carlson and Jacobsson (2019) and Samuelsson (2019) have explored the clashes between teachers’ professional ideals and policy interests, a comprehensive investigation into how teachers navigate the transformation of their subjectivities, including their self-perception, roles, and teaching ethos, and student interactions within the specific realm of adult education, is lacking. Thus, this study seeks to bridge this gap by examining the complex interplay of neoliberal pressures and teachers’ work and subjectivities in adult education settings.
Conceptual Framework
By employing Ball's (2003) conceptual framework as a guiding lens, this study seeks to dissect the multifaceted impacts of neoliberal policy technologies on the subjectivities of teachers of adults. The triad of disciplinary and regulatory policy technologies—market, performativity, and managerialism—serves as the cornerstone of this analysis, reshaping not only the adult education system but also the very fabric of the teachers’ work, social interactions, and identities. Ball (2003) argues that these technologies influence the teacher's soul, giving rise to a new subjectivity known as performative or neoliberal. This change stems from aligning teachers’ identities with performativity ideals, redefining their roles and methods for efficiency, accountability, and student needs.
Neoliberalism profoundly affects teachers’ minds and souls, engendering a tension described by Ball (2003) as “the struggle over the teacher's soul” (p. 216). According to Ball (2016b, p. 1131), subjectivity becomes “a key site of political struggle,” albeit not self-sufficient. It prompts an ongoing, practical, and transformative struggle within teachers—an engagement of adaptation or resistance to neoliberal governmentality. However, as Ball and Olmedo (2013) assert, these struggles are distinct from prior ones, necessitating self-confrontation as the source of discomfort. In the era of neoliberalism, teachers carry the dual mantle of accountability and responsibility. This article delves into both the external dimensions (market-like dynamics such as profit-seeking, privatization, and commodification) and internal dimensions (teachers’ identities, beliefs, and relationships with students) of neoliberalism, highlighting their interconnectedness in shaping the experiences and subjectivities of teachers of adults (Ball, 2016a).
Ball (2003) draws inspiration from Foucault and employs the concept of “governing the soul” to illustrate performativity's pervasive influence. This aligns with Foucault's (2008) view of neoliberalism as guiding individuals according to market principles. Foucault (2008, p. 30) asserts that the market serves as the “organizing principle of society,” establishing distinctive governmentality and truth regimes. Governmentality encompasses both sovereignty and discipline modes (Foucault, 1991). While discipline primarily operates through individuals, sovereignty relies on legal and executive authorities (e.g., policies). Governmentality entails controlling individuals through Foucault's (1991) “conduct of conduct,” guiding them to self-govern into desired subjects. In this framework, governmentality plays a pivotal role, directing individuals toward self-governance and revealing their active role in shaping conduct. Consequently, individuals are not passive objects but active participants in self-governance. This study contributes to the governmentality tradition, shedding light on subjective experiences of governing attempts, subjectivity processes, and subjectivity's formation in specific social contexts. Moreover, it highlights the intricate interplay between policies and human subjectivity.
While Stephen Ball's work underscores the transformative effects of neoliberal policy technologies on teachers’ subjectivities, it is vital to acknowledge the variability in how teachers respond to and engage with neoliberal values. Holmqvist's (2022) perspective presents a counterpoint, accentuating teachers’ agency in navigating and responding to neoliberal reforms. Teachers are not passive recipients of such reforms, but dynamic agents capable of interpreting, resisting, and reshaping neoliberal values within their professional practice. This perspective adds nuance to the narrative, showcasing that amid the dominant discourse, alternative practices, critical viewpoints, and collective actions by teachers can subvert the neoliberal paradigm.
Methodology: An Autoethnographic Approach
Autoethnography is a methodology that positions the researcher's own experiences in the foreground (auto) in order to understand cultural experience (ethno). These experiences are then expressed in writing (graphy) (Ellis et al., 2010, p. 1). Adams et al. (2015) emphasize that autoethnographers have the ability to write about their experiences in both private and public spheres, as well as express their internal feelings of dissonance or confusion. Considering my years as a teacher of adults, which have been filled with struggles and paradoxical emotions, my experience is well suited to (auto)ethnographic exploration. My ethnographic data comprises both specific and detailed descriptions of situations I have experienced, as well as broader analytical reflections. Like other ethnographers, I am interested in figuring out “what to do, how to live, and the meaning of [my] struggles” (Ellis & Bochner, 2006, p. 111). This sense-making motivation behind the use of autoethnography is common to many researchers. For me, autoethnography not only became a simple methodology but I came to live it, feel it, embody it, and become it.
In retrospect, I wrote down my recollections of significant moments and meta reflections of people, words, and events encountered or experienced during the period 2001–2015. To create the narrative that I later analyzed, I continuously recorded memories as they surfaced in a journal throughout the spring of 2020. Simultaneously, I engaged in structured reflection exercises, posing specific questions such as: “Why did I experience these emotions during these events?” and “What impact did this situation have on me as a teacher?” to explore different aspects of my experiences and emotions. Concurrently, I validated and recalled memories by reviewing local newspaper articles about Komvux and through discussions with former colleagues. These activities supplemented my own memory snapshots, providing additional context for specific situations, emotions, and challenges that I had previously encountered.
I used thematic analysis to discover patterns in written notes and reflections following the method described by Braun and Clarke (2006). I thoroughly reviewed my notes multiple times to achieve a comprehensive understanding. Then, I structured codes from my retrospective memories and reflections using open coding, organizing them into themes. After reviewing and analyzing these themes, I used them to create my report. Throughout the analysis of the narrative, vignettes are interspersed to provide glimpses into the events and encounters.
Throughout the writing process, I recognized and addressed various methodological and ethical limitations in order to maintain the study's credibility. The primary goal was to achieve a more objective analysis, which required an ongoing process of reflexivity. Integrating critical self-reflection and theory-informed reflection, alongside seeking external feedback from peers and cross-validating my narrative against relevant literature, enabled a more nuanced comprehension and, to some extent, mitigated complete subjectivity. One limitation concerned the dynamic nature of memory, highlighted by Adams et al. (2015, p. 161), reminding me that the “truth” in this autoethnography cannot be a stable thing due to memory's “active, dynamic, and ever-changing” essence.
In my analysis, I utilize Stephen Ball's (2003, 2016a, 2016b) theoretical analytical framework. Drawing upon this framework, I employ the concept of policy technologies rooted in neoliberal logic to explore the impact of neoliberalism on teachers’ work and professional identities. Building on Ball's perspective, I also incorporate the concept of “struggle over the teacher's soul.” This is done to emphasize the contested nature of subjectivity and the influences of neoliberal policy technologies on teachers’ identities and experiences. Moreover, I integrate Holmqvist's (2022) ideas on teacher agency to enhance the depth and comprehensiveness regarding the intricate dynamics when teachers’ subjectivities are influenced by neoliberal reform policies.
Analyzing My Story
In this section, I share my story from over 15 years as a teacher at SMAE where I’ve not only witnessed its evolution but actively contributed to its trajectory. My tenure involves navigating through a series of reforms, ranging from municipalization initiatives, marketization, and curriculum changes to the introduction of teacher certification—all aimed at reshaping educational system and enhancing its quality (Samuelsson, 2019). Amidst this dynamic landscape, conflicting educational approaches emerged, challenging the balance between teacher-led instruction, and individualized learning (Beach, 2004). The analysis follows both a chronological order and a thematic exploration.
Part 1: Municipalization of Public Activities and Marketization of the Komvux
During my very first semester (2001) as a teacher in adult education, I experienced the rollout of neoliberal thinking at a staff meeting. It was proposed that the local municipal adult education institution where I had just begun to work should undergo corporatization. This is a situation that can be understood in light of the municipalization of public activities, and the marketization of the educational system (Beach, 2004). The following excerpt portrays the influence of neoliberal ideology on teachers’ decision-making processes, their concerns, the emotions evoked, and their subsequent actions. It also depicts my internal struggle and the weight of responsibility I felt in this situation. The decisive day had arrived. The municipality and lobbyists had voiced their opinions, leaving us teachers to decide. With limited information and no concrete proposals to evaluate, the question loomed: should we corporatize or not? I heard my colleagues discussing and asking questions: How would the company be financed? Who would sit on the board? Was my employment at risk? What would happen to the students who were not profitable, who did not rush through a course in one semester, but perhaps needed two? The atmosphere among colleagues was tensed and divided. As I entered the staff room, the hushed whispers, furrowed brows, and worried glances among my colleagues heightened the pent-up tension, sending shivers down my spine. I could hardly breathe. I didn’t want to let anyone down, neither those who were in favour of privatization, nor those who were against it. I felt torn between loyalty and personal convictions. With reluctant and trembling legs, I approached the ballot box and cast my vote.
Recent research by Holmqvist et al. (2021) builds on the findings of Beach (2004) and Carlson and Jacobsson (2019), shedding light on the complex nature of policy implementation in real-world settings. It emphasizes the influence of local interpretations and translations at the municipal level, highlighting the variability and impact of marketization policies in different contexts. This underscores the importance of considering local realities and interpretations when analyzing the effects of marketization on adult education.
A Happy, Inspiring, and Satisfying Time, But Also Moments of Concern
Looking back on my early years at Komvux, I recall a period characterized by joy, motivation, and fulfillment. As Hargreaves (1998) suggests, teaching is a passionate and emotionally intense activity. Laughter echoed through the corridors, and complaints about work and working conditions were rare. However, moments of concern and worry also existed. The decreasing number of students led to organizational adjustments, affecting course offerings, and pedagogy (see Fejes et al., 2020). Some colleagues chose to look for other jobs or retire earlier than planned. As someone without permanent employment, the weight of my concerns became burdensome. Would my position be secure? Would I be able to continue doing what I loved? I had witnessed a steady decline in student numbers, and with each passing day, my job seemed increasingly at stake. The uncertainty hung heavy in the air, leaving me anxious and on edge. Every visit to the principal's office became a nerve-wracking ordeal, my heart pounding in my chest as I approached the door. The offer of permanent employment finally came, but it came with a condition—I had to design flexible courses
1
. If I wanted to hold onto my job, I had to embrace this new challenge, this uncharted territory of flexibility and innovation. We were afraid of the possibility of job losses due to Miroi's lower-priced courses. Our salaries as municipal teachers were higher than to those in private schools, making it difficult for us to compete. Initially, many students shifted from Komvux to Miroi. However, many of them returned to us because they felt isolated without a class community and lacked teacher support.
This shift from being seen as a public good to a private commodity, due to marketization, is evident in the case of Miroi, where lower-priced courses posed a threat to job security (see Dahlstedt & Fejes, 2018). However, while competition had its drawbacks, it also compelled us to develop and modernize ourselves, subjecting us to self-regulation. In this context, competition can be seen as a mechanism that empowers teachers to transform into self-regulated individuals (see Ball, 2016b; Foucault, 1991).
Part 2: Challenges and Struggles Occupying My Body and Soul
As I analyzed the struggles that occupied my professional life as a teacher, I identified three central themes in my notes that influenced my emotions and thinking. These themes encompass: the changed target group, policy demands, and the transformation of teaching practice. Each of these themes, both individually and in their interconnectedness, posed challenges that consumed my body and mind. In response, I exhibited adaptability and flexibility, much like a chameleon.
Theme 1: The Changed Target Group
Around 2007, a shift occurred in the student composition of adult education. A policy decision was made to reduce the state subsidy for adult education by one-third and transfer the remaining share to the general state subsidy allocated to municipalities. Consequently, the opportunity for students to retake courses they had already passed in upper-secondary school was eliminated (SFS, 2010:800). This policy change led to opportunities to study at Komvux being limited to students with previous failures or incomplete courses. Many of these students had neurodevelopmental disorders such as ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) or ASD (autism spectrum disorder), and often required additional support. Despite opting for flexible study options, many of these students faced challenges in managing the required responsibility, leading to a high dropout rate (Fejes et al., 2020). As a result, additional and unnecessary work, such as writing study plans, providing course information, and tracking down absent students, became necessary (see Carlson & Jacobsson, 2019). Furthermore, there was a significant influx of foreign-born students with diverse cultural, social, linguistic, and educational backgrounds, which contributed to a highly heterogeneous student group. In relation to the foreign-born student group, I encountered various challenges and shortcomings. Teaching foreign-born students psychology and religion was like groping through the darkness. My usual teaching strategies proved ineffective. Their struggles and subsequent failures were a direct result of my own inadequacy in supporting second-language learners, which left me overwhelmed with frustration and shame.
Theme 2: Policy Demands
In the early 2010s, the introduction of new reforms, including the Education Act (SFS, 2010:800) and a revised curriculum for adult education (Swedish National Agency for Education, 2012), posed challenges to our local practice. One concrete example that directly affected my work was the implementation of the individual study plan. Despite its intentions, as a tool for quality assurance of students’ knowledge development, the study plan became a control tool. It increased my workload, and I had to change my way of working and adapt to a new logic whose main purpose was to control, and to make me accountable. A tension emerged between my teaching ideals and the need for rigorous documentation and reporting (see Carlson & Jacobsson, 2019).
Individualization, adaptation, and flexibility became pivotal policies with implications for daily practices at Komvux. These policies provide students with the freedom to choose their preferred starting time, study pace, and teaching mode, whether in the classroom, flexibly, or as distance studies. Meeting these policy demands became my responsibility (see Mufic & Fejes, 2022). This policy transformation, as suggested by Dahlstedt and Fejes (2018), led Komvux to evolve into an increasingly individualistic and instrumental arena, with a strong focus on employability. To meet policy demands, the implementation of continuous admission became a concrete solution, allowing new students to join ongoing courses throughout the year. The weight of continuous admission still burdens me, and is a constant reminder of the uphill battle I faced. Each time I entered the classroom, a new student had eagerly joined the others, waiting for the lesson to begin. The variation in language and knowledge levels among the students made it even more challenging. With up to 53 Swedish-as-a-second-language students in one teaching group, the classroom was too small, and frustration filled the air. My head spun as I faced an impossible mission. Organizing the continuous admission seemed insurmountable. Desperate for a solution, I reached out to other Komvux, googled the Internet, and sought advice from colleagues and the principal, but received no answers. Numerous questions swirled in my mind: How many students were expected to start this week? Were there any dropouts? Would someone go on an internship, and if so, for how long? Which students showed progress, and who was struggling? After every class, the line of students seeking help seemed endless. They needed help with paperwork, accessing study materials, resetting passwords, and pleading for grade negotiations. Some saw an opportunity to practise their Swedish, while others carried emotional burdens that needed a listening ear. I was stretched thin like an octopus, trying to be everywhere at once. Each arm struggled to fulfil someone else's never-ending needs, but I could feel myself slowly unravelling. Stress became a constant companion, and lunch breaks became a luxury. My own well-being was pushed aside in a desperate attempt to cater to every student, as the demands drained my energy away.
In terms of professional effectiveness, the emotional toll had a significant impact on my performance. Stretching myself thin to accommodate both policy and students’ needs drained my energy, which affected my focus and creativity. This compromised my ability to provide the desired quality of education that I aspired to achieve and left little room for self-care or personal wellbeing (see Ball & Olmedo, 2013). It was a paradoxical situation in which I had to direct my limited time and focus toward enabling education that considers the students’ needs and preferences regarding when and how to study, leaving me with insufficient time or resources to individualize either content or teaching methods. Policy constraints, including limited time and resources, greatly affected my agency and professional autonomy, hindering my capacity to establish an inclusive learning environment that met the needs of all students (see Holmqvist, 2022).
In a broader context, these challenges with continuous admission reflect systemic challenges within SMAE. The pressure to cater to a diverse student group, with varying levels of language proficiency and knowledge, exposes underlying issues of resource allocation and support structures. These implications extend beyond my own wellbeing. Similar circumstances can lead to teacher burn-out and reduced job satisfaction, ultimately reducing the overall quality of education and students’ learning outcomes (see Bäckström, 2021).
Theme 3: The Transformation of Teaching Practice
I felt a need to change my teaching practice in order to better meet the policy demands and changed student group. Inspired by other teachers, I started a blog in 2012, where I posted material such as pre-recorded lessons, factual material, and practice assignments. I was captivated by my work on the blog, immersing myself completely in its creative and enjoyable process, often dedicating my personal time to it. Despite not seeking attention or promoting it enthusiastically, I secretly felt a sense of pride and satisfaction. As a disciplining self-regulating subject, I was acquiring the habits, capacities, and skills to act appropriately in neoliberal settings (see Foucault, 2008). I adapted to policy, not in any visible form, but rather by a process of interest and curiosity to improve myself and become a better teacher.
The blog played a vital role in managing flexible courses, but I could not help but sense a contradiction. My teaching spirit yearned for the vibrant classroom environment, where group discussions and interactive dialogue thrived. However, the blog, and later the learning platform, replaced this dynamic with individual supervision and text-oriented teaching. As a result, a significant amount of time was devoted to assessment and grading, overshadowing the planning and teaching process. This shift signaled a diminished emphasis on the teacher–student relationship as the cornerstone of knowledge, relegating it to a marginalized position (see Papadopoulos, 2022). The act of blogging became my avenue for exercising agency and responding to the new requirements, and the new situation in which I found myself (Holmqvist, 2022). It provided me with the means to navigate the technological performative perspective of being a teacher, where the emphasis is on showcasing and performing (see Ball, 2003, 2016b). As highlighted by Ball and Olmedo (2013, p. 88), there was a burden of responsibility to perform, and failure to do so could be perceived as irresponsible. This tension, deeply internalized, had a profound impact on my body and soul, ultimately transforming my subjectivity.
Part 3: The End of the Story: Shipwreck and Dismissal
The dark times had arrived. In the shape of the market, that “rough neoliberal beast” (Ball, 2016b) became truly visible. The beginning of the end came during the autumn of 2013, when the municipality's schools faced deficits and had to implement budget cuts, leading to relocation to cheaper premises. These premises lacked essential facilities such as chemistry, biology, or computer classrooms, and had high radon levels, causing health issues. In a market-driven approach, cost-cutting took precedence over maintaining educational quality. A new principal took on the task of implementing strict measures to meet policy demands for individualizing and flexibility. As teachers, we were aware of the pressures on school management to implement policy, such as continuous admission, but we felt excluded from the process and ill-prepared for the required changes. Throughout 2014, the union visited us frequently, addressing not only the relocation but also the shift from “vacation service” to “holiday service.” 2 The atmosphere among us was quite gloomy.
Once installed in the new premises, the next jaw-dropping change arrived, in the form of the introduction of a time clock. The time clock stood as a symbol of constraint, an unwelcome intruder into my realm of autonomy. With each swipe of my card, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, disappointment, and anger washing over me. It felt like a betrayal, as though my dedication and commitment were being reduced to mere numbers on a screen. The time clock became a constant reminder of a system that failed to recognize the complexity of my work. The concept of a time clock for teachers puzzled me. Did it stem from mistrust, control, and surveillance? Or was it meant to bring clarity, transparency, or organizational efficiency? The implementation of the time clock and the introduction of “holiday service” can be seen as acts of managerialism, because they reflect a lack of understanding and familiarity with the nature of teachers’ work (Ball, 2003).
A Commodity on the Education Market
The final year was emotionally challenging as I witnessed Komvux facing an imminent shipwreck. Concerns arose regarding our jobs, the students’ learning and personal growth, and the future and quality of Komvux. We were overwhelmed by feelings of stress, powerlessness, sadness, and frustration. My body bore the weight of these emotions, expressing them through fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, digestive issues, and an overall sense of exhaustion. The involvement of municipal occupational health only worsened the situation. We were unfairly portrayed as lacking flexibility, adaptability, and the capacity to change, as exemplified in the following excerpt. Reluctance filled the room during the meeting with municipal occupational health. Despite our unwillingness, we all attended. The municipal health officer drew our attention to the whiteboard displaying an image of a sloth and a chameleon, emphasizing the importance of adapting and changing attitudes. The chameleon's adaptive ability was highlighted, contrasted against the sluggish and unchanging nature of the sloth. As I sat there I couldn’t help but wonder if I resembled the sloth. My self-image tore apart, tears welled up, and I noticed my colleague already crying.
In conclusion, this analysis has drawn attention to the intricate dynamics of municipalization, marketization, and individualization processes in an adult education context. It has illuminated the struggles and conflicting emotions that teachers of adults experience as they navigate neoliberal ideologies, market-oriented practices, student diversity, and policy demands. Unconsciously, teachers internalize neoliberal principles such as competition, flexibility, individualization, and cost-effectiveness, adapting to policies and student needs, which in turn transform their identities. This poses a significant challenge to the nature of adult education itself. When adult education is reduced to a mere technical or economic exercise, it restricts opportunities for teacher agency, student growth, and overall educational quality. This analysis can be extended to other educational contexts or institutions affected by neoliberal reforms.
Concluding Reflections and Comments
Through this autoethnography, I have invited the reader into the world in which I lived and thrived. This is my “parrhesian truth” (Foucault, 2001; see also Ball, 2016a, p. 1138) regarding how neoliberal logic permeated everyday practices, forcing me to grapple with conflicting emotions and thoughts. As a teacher, I faced struggles with and against the neoliberal governance, as it pushed me to become something I did not want to be. Consequently, I perceived myself as a living embodiment of how neoliberal reform politics, set in motion via policy instruments, deeply impact upon and transform teachers’ identities and work, a process that Ball (2003) described as “terrorization of the teacher's soul.”
Throughout the analysis, it has become evident that, as a teacher, I was often responsible for finding solutions to didactic, technical, and organizational issues arising from policy (see Mufic & Fejes, 2022). The imposition of neoliberal principles, such as individualization and flexibility, compelled me to navigate the inherent tension between my own pedagogical values and the growing emphasis on instrumental and individual-oriented approaches. This struggle was mentally taxing, as my understanding of effective teaching did not always align with policy requirements. As a result, a profound transformation of subjectivity took place, leading to subjective alienation and ontological uncertainty. I lost sight of my teacher identity, no longer recognizing who I was, or what I had become (see Ball, 2003).
The purpose of this article is not to provide another description of governance or the consequences of neoliberal reform policies. Instead, it aims to offer a fresh perspective on the struggles faced by teachers at the onset of neoliberal reform policies. By illustrating how individuals, including myself, receive, struggle with, and respond to policies, it sheds light on the shaping of our subjectivities. As a teacher, I operated within a discursive neoliberal context, yet I also possessed the capacity to be independent, critical, and questioning (see Holmqvist, 2022). I was not merely a passive object, but an actively engaged subject, embodying a form of “care of the self,” as suggested by Ball and Olmedo (2013).
Through my analysis, I discovered how I had internalized and implemented neoliberal policies, adopting new teaching practices, and embracing flexibility. I was required to, and did, become flexible in my way of teaching. Policy worked through me, shaping my subjectivity, and creating the desired image of a compliant subject. Portrayed in this narrative is a techne of government, a “conduct of conduct,” as policy effectively shaped my subjectivity into a desirable form. However, I also realized the limitations of self-regulation, because subjectivity is a contested realm (Ball, 2016a). As a subject, I always have the ability to be independent, to question, and to manage change in new, adapted ways, even partially dismissing it. This narrative thus sheds light on the complex dynamics of conducting oneself within a neoliberal context.
Although autoethnography is a contentious method, I argue for its value in studying educational issues. Through my personal narrative, this autoethnography provides unique insights that may be difficult to obtain by other means, revealing what Adams et al. (2015, p. 31) refer to as “the epistemology of the inside perspective.” Thus, it contributes to the ongoing discussion around conducting ethnography.
The marketization of adult education requires our attention and contemplation, because it brings both benefits and risks. Flexible learning enhances accessibility and lifelong learning, while the procurement system expands course choices and aids resourced-limited municipalities. However, market-oriented approaches also create insecure employment and different working conditions for teachers employed by private providers compared to those employed by municipalities. By looking back in order to understand the present, and acting on that understanding, we can navigate the complex landscape of the marketization of adult education. In doing so, we can uphold the integrity of adult education as a catalyst for personal growth, societal development, and democratic values. To accomplish this, we must confront the challenges head-on, remain vigilant, critically reflect upon our actions, create space for dialogue, and contemplate the prioritization of adult education for the benefit of individuals, society, and the broader goals of lifelong learning.
Footnotes
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
