The Emotional Experiences of Early First Intercourse

Abstract

The experience of the first intercourse at an early age is a well-established sexual risk behavior as it is related to adverse physical and mental health outcomes. However, the diversity within the group of early starters as well as the actual processes that make early first-time intercourse (potentially) more harmful remain understudied. The goal of this research is to understand the mechanisms that make an early experience of the first intercourse either more or less emotionally harmful. Therefore, a combination of quantitative and qualitative data are used. The quantitative data stem from a population survey (ages 14-35 years; N = 705); the qualitative data were gathered by in-depth interviews among 24 young people (ages 16-18 years) with an early first-time intercourse (at age 14 years or younger). Quantitative analyses show that the age at first-time intercourse is positively related to the feeling of readiness. For the male respondents only, it is also positively related to the general experience of the first intercourse. For female respondents, the age at the first intercourse is only related to the general experience of it in interaction with the age difference with the first partner. Qualitative analyses show that much variation goes behind these statistical regularities. Successful early starters can be differentiated from problematic early starters based on relationship characteristics, the preceding sexual trajectory, and the preceding sexual decision making. Practical implications are described, and recommendations for further research are made.

Keywords

first intercourse sexuality risk behavior adolescence sexual health romantic relationships

Background

An early age at first intercourse is related to adverse health outcomes by a large body of existing research. First intercourse at an early age tends to be less safe in terms of condom use and contraception in general (O’Donnell, O’Donnell, & Stueve, 2001), and early starters tend to end up in a pattern of unsafe sexual behavior later throughout adolescence (Edgardh, 2002; Kaestle, Halpern, Miller, & Ford, 2005; O’Donnell et al., 2001). It is also associated with negative psychological outcomes, mostly in terms of feelings of regret (Hawes, Wellings, & Stephenson, 2010). Notwithstanding the undeniable value of existing research, the focus on chronological age at the time of the first intercourse and its negative health outcomes fosters the image of early starters as a homogeneous group of risk takers. It also hinders a broader understanding of why an early age at first intercourse might be seen as a potential health threat. The goal of this study is to investigate the emotional experience of the first intercourse among early starters and to add knowledge concerning the mechanisms that make it either more or less emotionally harmful. Although quantitative data can provide us with information on statistical effects and their extent, it is less useful in understanding how these effects occur. Therefore, quantitative as well as qualitative data are used in this study.

(Gendered) Cultural Norms Regarding First-Time Intercourse and the Flemish Context

The first sexual intercourse is not only an important personal milestone but is also heavily subject to legal and societal norms. Accordingly, the experience at a specific age will have different consequences depending on where it takes place. Legal norms regarding age and the organization of sex education can give an indication of the acceptance of adolescent sexual activity in a given cultural context. Accordingly, early commencement of sexual activity is discouraged by legal norms concerning age in many western countries, and postponement of first intercourse is a common standard in the evaluation of the effectiveness of sex education (Kirby & Laris, 2009; Mueller, Gavin, & Kulkarni, 2008). In Flanders, the northern Dutch-speaking region of Belgium where this study was conducted, the legal age of consent for sexual intercourse is 16 years, regardless of the age difference between partners. Current debates on adjusting the law show a difficult-to-reach balance between on the one hand, protecting the rights of young people to normal sexual experimentation, and on the other, protecting young people against sexual victimization.

Sex education is part of the official secondary school curriculum (generally attended by students aged 12-18 years), but the practical implementation of sex education is not regulated and is left to the arbitrary decisions of school staff. As a consequence, the timing, amount, and content of sex education young people receive largely depends on the school they attend. Currently, efforts are being made to increase the uniformity of sex education in schools. In addition to formal sex education, several publicly funded non-governmental organizations are active in Flanders, and provide young people with information and support during their transition into becoming sexually active. These organizations do not suggest the “ideal age for first intercourse,” but instead aim to offer the support that young people need when making their personal sexual choices. Overall, the right of young people to healthy sexual experimentation is widely acknowledged in Flanders; however, with regard to sexual activity in early adolescence in particular, different approaches exist side by side.

Another way of assessing the cultural context with regard to becoming sexually active is by looking at not only the age, but also the circumstances collectively believed appropriate for making the transition. Such norms are traditionally centered around ethnicity, social class, religion, and gender (Carpenter, 2005). In addition, statistical regularities regarding behavior are often used as a “proof of normality” (Settersten & Mayer, 1997). In Flanders, most young people (75%) believe that it is desirable to have started having sexual intercourse before the age of 18 years, and 50% believe that 17 years is the ideal age for losing virginity (Vettenburg, Deklerck, & Siongers, 2010). About 50% of young people in Flanders have had sexual intercourse by the age of 18 years, and within this group the mean age for first intercourse is around 15.5 years for both boys and girls (Vettenburg et al., 2010). In the Netherlands, boys are on average slightly younger than girls when they first have intercourse (de Graaf, Kruijer, van Acker, & Meijer, 2012). Data from Belgium and the Netherlands show that young people from lower educational tracks are more sexually experienced than their same-aged peers from higher educational tracks (de Graaf et al., 2012; Symons, Van Houtte, & Vermeersch, 2013). In addition, data from the Netherlands show that boys from ethnic minorities are more experienced than boys with a Dutch ethnic background, while for girls the opposite is true. Further, girls for whom religion is important (regardless of which specific religion, though mostly Christian and Muslim) are less experienced than girls for whom religion is not important, while for boys there is no difference in this regard (Bakker, de Graaf, de Haas, Kedde, Kruijer, & Wijsen, 2009; de Graaf et al., 2012).

Although adolescent boys and girls do not differ strongly with regard to their age when they first engage in intercourse, there are strong gender differences concerning the emotional experience of it. Boys are more likely than girls to have a positive experience of intercourse for the first time (Guggino & Ponzetti, 1997; Sprecher, Barbee, & Schwartz, 1995). These gender differences can be traced back, at least in part, to a perpetuating double standard regarding sexual behavior, in which virginity is more highly encouraged for girls than it is for boys. Girls are more likely to regard their virginal status as a “special gift” to a partner (Carpenter, 2005). They also have higher expectations concerning the conditions they consider appropriate for losing their virginity in terms of relationship commitment (Taris & Semin, 1997), and they are more likely to feel ambiguous about losing their virginity than boys are (Holland, Ramazanoglu, Sharpe, & Thomson, 2000). The different meanings attached to (losing) virginity also affect the behavior that is expected from boys and girls. While it is expected that boys will propose sexual intercourse, girls are expected to refuse or at least try to postpone it (Holland et al., 2000). This expectation could put an extra strain on girls who engage early in sexual activity because it implies that they have failed in their responsibility to postpone it.

Personal Sexual Readiness

Becoming sexually active is a normative aspect of adolescent development, which includes the acquirement of a range of sexual skills (Tolman & McClelland, 2011). This skill development has been linked not only to daily social interactions within the family (Pearson, Muller, & Frisco, 2006) and with (opposite sex) peers (Grover, Nangle, Serwik, & Zeff, 2007), but also with more specific sex education in schools (Kirby & Laris, 2009) and within the family (Downing, Jones, Bates, Sumnall, & Bellis, 2011). Research on the harmful health outcomes of early first intercourse in fact uses chronological age as “a predictor of an individual’s physical and emotional maturity, of an individual’s readiness to assume certain responsibilities” (Settersten & Mayer, 1997). However, although age is an important predictor of sexual readiness, age and readiness do not entirely overlap given the different pace of sexual development among young people. Indeed, research shows that sexual competence at the time of first intercourse—in terms of the absence of duress and regret, autonomy of decision, and use of a reliable method of contraception—is not exclusively reserved for people whose first experience of intercourse is at the average age or older. About a third of those young people who first have intercourse at the age of 15 are found to have been sexually competent at that time (Wellings et al., 2001).

A more indirect way of assessing personal sexual readiness at the time of first intercourse, is by evaluating the preceding trajectory of sexual development. Research shows that young people tend to progress gradually from less intimate to more intimate sexual behavior (O’Sullivan, Mantsun Cheng, Mullan Harris, & Brooks-Gunn, 2007). Such behavioral regularity suggests that there might be developmental benefits involved and that behaving differently entails certain risks. Research from the Netherlands has related sexual health behavior later in adolescence to the timing, the progression, and the pace of young people’s sexual trajectories. In this regard, a smoothly progressing sexual trajectory is associated with less sexual risk behavior later in adolescence compared with a trajectory in which steps are skipped or the young person progresses very quickly through the different stages of intimacy (de Graaf, Vanwesenbeeck, Meijer, Woertman, & Meeus, 2009). Accordingly, sexual readiness and the preceding sexual trajectory are useful concepts for understanding the “earliness” of first intercourse from a more personal developmental perspective, and for taking into account inter-individual differences in the timing and pace of sexual development.

Harmful Circumstances for (Early) First Intercourse

Research on the specific harmful contexts for (early) first intercourse has paid great attention to the importance of the characteristics of the relationship with the first partner. First-time intercourse that takes place in the context of a relationship is more likely to be experienced positively than in the context of a casual sexual encounter (Hawes et al., 2010; Houts, 2005; Sprecher et al., 1995). However, the protective power of a relationship is only realized when certain standards are met. In essence, a high degree of relationship commitment is a strong predictor of a positive experience of first intercourse (Meier, 2007). Furthermore, if the relationship ends shortly after first-time intercourse, this negatively affects the subjective experience of it retrospectively and more so for girls than for boys (Sprecher et al., 1995).

Another well-documented relationship characteristic is the age difference between partners. Experiencing intercourse for the first time with an older partner tends to be less safe in terms of contraceptive use, and is associated with more regret afterwards (Mercer et al., 2006). For girls, having an older first partner is associated with a lesser degree of wanting first-time intercourse, especially among girls younger than 16 years (Abma, Driscoll, & Moore, 1998). It is likely that in a relationship with an older partner, power relations are out of balance, especially if the younger partner is still very young. Notably, having an older first partner has been related to more sexual risk behavior even into adulthood, suggesting that it is an early marker of a high propensity for sexual risk taking (Senn & Carey, 2011). Another adverse contextual factor related to early sexual intercourse is if it is not anticipated (Hawes et al., 2010). When first-time intercourse is planned or foreseen, it is associated with safe sexual behavior, with sexual satisfaction, and with less subsequent regret (Mitchell & Wellings, 1998).

Research Goals

Based on existing literature, it can be concluded that starting sexual activity young is more likely to be experienced negatively, especially for girls, but that a great deal depends on the personal sexual readiness of the young person and the concrete circumstances in which intercourse takes place for the first time. However, the existing body of research pays little attention to this variation among the group of early starters. This study aims to add knowledge about the experience of early first intercourse specifically by addressing the following research questions: First, how is first intercourse at an early age experienced? Second, how does this experience vary among early starters? And last, how is this experience related to the circumstances in which it took place? Both quantitative and qualitative methods are used in a complementary way. Quantitative data are mainly used to define the overall importance of age in predicting the emotional experience of intercourse for the first time, whereas qualitative data reveal the variation that exists within the group of early starters regarding their feelings. The study is limited to heterosexual first intercourse for reasons of comparability, given the unique (sexual) developmental challenges faced by non-heterosexual adolescents (Adelson, 2012).

Method

Quantitative Analysis

Respondents and data collection

A subsample of the population survey Sexual Health in Flanders (Buysse et al., 2013) was used as the source of data. This is a large-scale, representative survey on sexuality, sexual health, and relationships with the approval of the ethics committee of Ghent University Hospital (Universitair Ziekenhuis, Ghent). Data were collected between February 2011 and February 2012 by means of face-to-face interviews, with a combination of computer-assisted personal interviewing and computer-assisted self-interviewing, the latter being used for the most sensitive information. The final database consisted of 1,832 respondents (a response rate of 39.0% for eligible respondents), randomly drawn from the Belgian National Register. For this study, respondents between 14 and 35 years of age who had experience of sexual intercourse were selected (N = 705; 324 men and 381 women). The selection of this subgroup was motivated by the fact that for this age group, the time and circumstances of first intercourse are likely to be remembered accurately, while socio-cultural generational differences among the respondents will not be too great (given that studying cross-generational differences is outside the scope of this study). The sample was very homogeneous in terms of ethnic composition: A majority of 97.1% had held Belgian nationality since birth and only 4.1% had at least one parent who was not Belgian by birth. Most respondents were Christian (40.4%) or atheist (42.7%), with a minority belonging to a different religion (3.7%) or identifying themselves as religious but not further specified (13.2%).

Independent variables

Three predictors were included for the experience concerning early first intercourse: the age at the time of first intercourse, the duration of the sexual trajectory from the first tongue kiss to first intercourse (as a proxy for the pace of the preceding sexual trajectory), and the age difference with the first partner. For calculating these variables, the age at first intercourse, the age at first tongue kiss, and the age of the first sexual partner were established by the use of numeric, open questions.

Dependent variables

Two variables were used as indicators of the feelings about first-time intercourse and the degree of readiness, both measured on a 5-point Likert-type scale. The first variable was obtained from the question “How was your experience of sexual intercourse for the first time?” with possible answers ranging from very negative (score 1) to very positive (score 5). The second variable referred to the question “To what degree would you say now that you were ready for intercourse at that time?” with answers from not ready at all (score 1) to completely ready (score 5).

Control variables

Three control variables were included: the age of the respondent at the time of the survey, their subjective socio-economic status (SSES), and the personal importance of religion. The SSES was used because this allowed the same analysis to include both respondents who were still attending school and those who had already commenced employment. SSES was measured by a method developed by Adler, Epel, Castellazzo, and Ickovics (2000). In this method, a picture of a ladder is presented and this is used as a metaphor for the social ladder, where each rung represents a social layer of society (the ladder has 10 rungs). The respondents were asked to put themselves on a rung of the ladder in terms of their position in society. The personal importance of religion was measured using a 5-point Likert-type scale, ranging from not important at all (score 1) to very important (score 5).

Analysis procedure

First, the univariate measurements for each variable were calculated according to gender, including independent samples t tests for testing gender differences. Second, bivariate correlations for the dependent and independent variables were calculated, for male and female respondents separately. Third, linear multiple regression analyses were applied in order to answer the research questions. The regression models were built up in four steps. First, the control variables were entered; second, the age at first-time intercourse; third, the two contextual factors; and last, interaction terms for both contextual factors with the age at first intercourse. The feelings about first intercourse and the degree of readiness were included as dependent variables in two separate models. To avoid multicollinearity, the independent variables were standardized before calculating the product terms. Multicollinearity was also elaborately tested for by estimating the variance inflation factor (VIF), whereby each of the independent variables was inserted as a dependent variable in a linear regression model. For each regression, the VIF was lower than 1.6, indicating that no problematic multicollinearity was present. In order to gain an understanding of gender differences, the analyses were performed separately for male and female respondents.

Qualitative Analysis

Respondents

The qualitative data were provided by the research part of the Sexual Awareness for Europe II (SAFE II) project, which was initiated and funded by the International Planned Parenthood Federation–European Network with the aim of improving the sexual health and rights of young people across Europe. Six European countries participated in the research section of the project and the topic for the research in each country was decided based on their specific need for information. The Belgian research focused on the experience of early first intercourse, and 24 young people who had engaged in intercourse at a young age were interviewed. In this regard, “early” was defined as having first-time intercourse at the age of 14 years or younger. This was based on the fact that in Belgium, less than 20% of people aged 14 years or younger have engaged in sexual intercourse (Hublet, Vereecken, & Maes, 2010), and therefore they can be categorized as early starters compared with their peers. A second criterion for selection was that respondents were aged between 16 and 18 years at the time of the survey. This ensured that respondents were able to recall first-time intercourse in the light of later experience, while at the same time the first experience was still relatively fresh in their memory. Third, the first instance of sexual intercourse had to be voluntary and not forced. The boundary between voluntary and forced is sometimes blurred, but it was left to the respondent to decide whether the first time could be labeled as voluntary or not. Finally, for reasons of comparability the first experience of sexual intercourse had to be heterosexual.

For the recruitment of eligible respondents, a short online questionnaire was established. This online questionnaire contained the questions necessary to select eligible young people according to the conditions described above. The young people who filled in the questionnaire and who met the conditions were invited to fill in their contact information so that they could be invited for the interview. A link to the online questionnaire was posted on websites frequented by young people and posters were distributed in secondary schools in two Flemish cities (Ghent and Mechelen) with the invitation to surf to the online questionnaire. In addition to recruitment through an online questionnaire, the snowball method of recruitment was applied, whereby each recruited respondent was asked to provide other potential respondents. However, this was completely optional for the respondents themselves and in no way a condition of participation.

Eventually, 24 young people were recruited and interviewed, of whom 16 were girls and 8 boys. Most of the respondents (n = 18) experienced first-time intercourse at the age of 14 years, four were 13 years, one was 12 years, and one was 11 years. The social background of the respondents was relatively homogeneous and similar to the background characteristics of the respondents in the quantitative sample. All of the respondents had a Belgian ethnic background. Their educational backgrounds differed, but the general education stream (preparing for further academic studies) was overrepresented and comprised 15 respondents. Six respondents were in technical education, and three respondents had dropped out of high school before attaining a qualification, but were studying for this through an alternative education program.

Data collection and ethical guidelines

Because young people might feel uncomfortable discussing their sexual experiences when talking to someone much older, the chosen interviewers were young people aged 21 to 24, who were either taking a master’s course in psychology or had already gained their degree. The interviewers received appropriate training, including dealing with difficult situations, as talking about their sexual experiences might invoke intense emotions among the respondents. The in-depth interviews were semi-structured and a topic list was used to ensure that the same categories were questioned in each interview, while allowing the respondents to speak freely. The construction of the topic list was based on the research questions that were formulated beforehand. The interviews lasted around 1 hour and took place at a location chosen by the respondent, mostly in an office of either the university or a sexual health organization, although some took place at the respondent’s home.

Strict guidelines were followed regarding informed consent and the anonymous processing of the results. Before each interview started, the respondent received information about the research (from the interviewer as well as by means of written information) and an informed consent document was signed. For respondents under the age of 18, this consent included the warning that if the respondent mentioned having been the victim of any illegal acts, this would be reported to the relevant authorities. In such a case, the commitment to anonymity would be partially broken. Specific measures were also taken concerning adequate aftercare for the respondents once the interview had been conducted. Each respondent was given an information folder with telephone numbers and details of various services to turn to if needed. The research design and the data collection procedure were evaluated and approved by the ethics committee of the faculty of Sociology of Ghent University.

Data analysis

The data were coded using the qualitative data analysis program NVivo, applying a combination of deductive and inductive techniques. The coding was guided by the same broad predefined categories on which the topic list was based, and new additional categories were revealed by induction (mainly sub-categories to the predefined ones). The predefined categories relevant for this particular study are decision making regarding first-time intercourse, aspects of the first act of intercourse itself (including the emotional experience, physical experience, and use of contraception), the importance and meaning attached to the first experience of intercourse, aspects of the first relationship (including characteristics of the first partner), sexual experiences before the first act of intercourse, and sexual experiences after first intercourse. During the coding phase, several meetings took place with the methodological supervisors of the SAFE II research project (Rutgers Nisso World Population Foundation, based in the Netherlands) with whom the categories were discussed. In addition, a youth advisory committee was established, consisting of 16 young people aged 15 to 19 who provided the researcher with suggestions regarding how the results from the interviews should be correctly interpreted from the viewpoint of young people. This prevented the subjective framework of the adult researcher from distorting the findings.

Findings

Univariate and Bivariate Characteristics

The univariate characteristics of each variable included in the study are presented in Table 1. Among the male respondents, the mean age at first intercourse was 17.06 years with 11.3% having first had intercourse at the age of 14 or younger. Among the female respondents, the mean age was 16.54 years, with 14.4% having first had intercourse at 14 years or younger. As could be expected, the male respondents reported a more positive experience of first intercourse than did the female respondents and the male respondents also felt more ready. Table 2 shows the bivariate correlations for the dependent and independent variables. For both the male and female respondents, a younger age at first-time intercourse was associated with an older first partner and with less time having passed since their first tongue kiss. As could be expected, the emotional experience of first intercourse and the feeling of readiness correlated positively with each other. Remarkably, the emotional experience of first intercourse correlated less with the independent variables as compared with the feeling of being ready.

Table 1.

Univariate Characteristics of the Dependent, Independent, and Control Variables.

	Male respondents			Female respondents
	M	SD	n	M	SD	n
Age	24.01	5.871	324	23.67	5.406	381
Subjective SES	6.53	1.308	320	6.34	1.207	373
Importance religion	2.14*	1.116	323	2.37*	1.102	380
Age at first intercourse	17.06*	2.631	301	16.54*	2.110	353
Age difference with first partner	0.01*	1.626	288	1.78*	2.110	345
Time lapse^a	2.7	2.280	270	2.39	1.844	336
First intercourse experience	3.90*	.925	323	3.34*	1.037	380
Feeling being ready for it	4.10*	1.019	324	3.67*	1.262	379

Note. SES = Social-economic status.

Duration of preceding time lapse since first tongue kiss.

Means were significantly different by gender, tested by an independent samples t test.

Table 2.

Bivariate Characteristics of the Dependent and Independent Variables.

MaleFemale	Age at first intercourse	Age difference with first partner	Time lapse^a	First intercourse experience	Feeling being ready for it
Age at first intercourse	1	−.21**	.40**	.14*	.35**
Age difference with first partner	−.16*	1	−.15*	.01	−.01
Time lapse^a	.53**	−.01	1	.04	.24**
First intercourse experience	.05	−.09	.06	1	.47**
Feeling being ready for it	.34**	−.15*	.17*	.58**	1

Duration of preceding time lapse since first tongue kiss.

p < .05. *p < .01. **p < .001.

The Emotional Experience of First Intercourse From a Quantitative Perspective

Tables 3 and 4 show the results for the multiple linear regression analyses, with the emotional experience of first intercourse and the feeling of being ready as the respective outcome variables. This is presented for the male and female respondents separately. Table 3 shows that the emotional experience of first intercourse was significantly predicted by the model for the female respondents, but not by the one for the male respondents. However, for the male respondents the age at first intercourse significantly predicted the emotional experience of it, and adding this variable to the model significantly improved it. For the female respondents, the age at first intercourse only significantly predicted the emotional experience in interaction with the age difference with the partner. Further exploration of this interaction effect showed that only for those respondents who engaged in first-time intercourse at age 16 or younger, a greater age difference with the partner predicted a less positive emotional experience. This is in line with what could be expected based on the presumed increased vulnerability of early starters with an older partner. For female respondents, SSES was the most important predictor for the emotional experience of first intercourse. Female respondents with a higher SSES recalled a more positive experience.

Table 3.

Stepwise Multivariate Regression for the First Intercourse Experience (Standardized b-Values [β] and Standardized Errors [SE]).

	Male (n = 324)				Female (n = 381)
	Model 1 β (SE)	Model 2 β (SE)	Model 3 β (SE)	Model 4 β (SE)	Model 1 β (SE)	Model 2 β (SE)	Model 3 β (SE)	Model 4 β (SE)
Age	−.046 (.009)	−.109 (.010)	−.113 (.010)	−.107 (.010)	−.097 (.01)	−.115* (.011)	−.111 (.011)	.110 (.011)
Subjective SES	−.023 (.044)	−.040 (.044)	−.039 (.044)	−.043 (.044)	.170 (.045)	.161** (.045)	.153** (.046)	.148** (.046)
Importance religion	−.022 (.049)	−.046 (.049)	−.045 (.050)	−.046 (.050)	.046 (.051)	.039 (.052)	.045 (.052)	.051 (.052)
Age at FI		.187** (.061)	.202** (.067)	.213** (.069)		.058 (.061)	.023 (.072)	.020 (.075)
Time lapse			−.013 (.062)	−.003 (.066)			.045 (.067)	.055 (.07)
Age difference			.043 (.058)	.035 (.059)			−.064 (.058)	−.080 (.059)
Age at FI × Time lapse				−.044 (.037)				−.041 (.033)
Age at FI × Age difference				.056 (.041)				.112* (.039)
R ²	.003	.033	.035	.040	.041**	.044**	.049*	.063**
ΔR²	.003	.030**	.002	.005	.041**	.003	.005	.014

Note. SES = Social-economic status; FI = first intercourse.

p < .05. **p < .01.

Table 4.

Stepwise Multivariate Regression for the Feeling Being Ready for First Intercourse (Standardized b-Values [β] and Standardized Errors [SE]).

	Male (n = 324)				Female (n = 381)
	Model 1 β (SE)	Model 2 β (SE)	Model 3 β (SE)	Model4 β (SE)	Model 1 β (SE)	Model 2 β (SE)	Model 3 β (SE)	Model 4 β (SE)
Age	.011 (.01)	−.129* (.01)	−.134* (.01)	−.131* (.01)	−.006 (.012)	−.115* (.012)	−.112* (.012)	−.116* (.012)
Subjective SES	.022 (.048)	−.013 (.045)	−.011 (.045)	−.012 (.045)	.243*** (.054)	.187*** (.051)	.181** (.052)	.172** (.051)
Importance religion	−.053 (.054)	−.104 (.051)	−.112 (.051)	−.109 (.051)	−.040 (.061)	−.081 (.058)	−.081 (.059)	−.074 (.059)
Age at FI		.412*** (.063)	.382*** (.069)	.373*** (.07)		.363*** (.069)	.363*** (.082)	.388*** (.085)
Time lapse			.129* (.064)	.166* (.067)			−.024 (.076)	.008 (.078)
Age difference			.091 (.06)	.095 (.06)			−.074 (.065)	−.073 (.066)
Age at FI × Time lapse				−.108 (.038)				−.112 (.037)
Age at FI × Age difference				−.018 (.042)				.060 (.044)
R ²	.004	.149***	.169***	.179***	.060***	.174***	.180***	.194***
ΔR²	.004	.145***	.020*	.010	.060***	.114***	.006	.014

Note. SES = social-economic status; FI = first intercourse.

p < .05. **p < .01. ***p < .001.

Table 4 shows similar effects for the outcome variable “feeling ready,” but the variance explained by the models for both male and female respondents was much higher. As before, there was a significant positive effect of SSES for female respondents, but not for male respondents. Further, and as would be expected, for both male and female respondents, an older age at first intercourse predicted an increased feeling of being ready. This positive effect of age only marginally decreased for male respondents and actually increased for female respondents when adding additional variables to the model. It was also striking that an older age at the time of interview predicted a lower feeling of readiness among both genders.

The Emotional Experience of First Intercourse From a Qualitative Perspective

The in-depth interviews with early starters revealed the variation in the emotional experience of first-time intercourse, which could in turn be related to the preceding sexual trajectory as well as to the decision making preceding the event. With regard to the age difference with the first partner, little variance existed among the respondents (for most, the first partner was 2 to 3 years older). The age difference was also not related to the emotional experience of first-time intercourse and is therefore not further discussed.

The early first intercourse experience

To evaluate the feelings regarding first-time intercourse, both the emotions recalled from the time of the event and the emotions felt when reflecting on it at the time of the interview were taken into account.

Recalled emotions from the time of first intercourse

For 17 respondents (5 male and 12 female), positive emotions were recalled from the time of first intercourse, while 7 respondents (3 male and 4 female) recalled negative emotions. The positive emotions related to three things. First, the feeling of intimacy and closeness toward the partner was the most commonly mentioned, reported by 4 male and 8 female respondents (for an illustration, see Quote 1 below). This is as expected, given that for the majority of the respondents (n = 14), their first experience of intercourse was in the context of a relationship. One girl who did not have a romantic relationship but a very close friendship with her first sexual partner also reported the feeling of “closeness” to that person as a positive experience.

Quote 1: It’s a whole new experience and you love that person and you long for him, and yeah, it’s a step further in your relationship [. . . ] I think that you trust each other more, you give yourself more to that person and the bond grows. You get closer to each other. (Girl, 14 at first intercourse [FI] with partner after a relationship of 4 months)

A second source of positive emotions was physical pleasure and excitement at the moment itself, reported by five respondents (one male and four female, for an illustration see Quote 2). For one male and one female respondent who were not in a relationship with their first sexual partner, this was the main reason why it was a positive experience. Third, one male and one female respondent referred to the feeling of having done something important as a reason why they felt it was a positive experience (for an illustration, see Quote 3).

Quote 2: It was really terrific [. . . ] the sex itself felt good, yeah, but when you come, that’s really the nicest feeling that I’ve ever had [. . . ] The sex itself, I thought that it would have been better, the whole time, but coming, I hadn’t expected that it would be that good. (Boy, 14 at FI outside a relationship context)

Quote 3: Once it was over, I felt so relieved, like: “it’s happened, I succeeded.” And then you feel happy about that. (Boy, 14 at FI with partner after a relationship of 4 months)

Of the seven respondents with negative feelings about the first intercourse, four were not in a relationship with their first sexual partner (three male and one female) and the other three (female) respondents categorized their relationship as “not serious.” The negative emotions recalled from the first time related to two things. First, a deep disappointment due to a lack of meaning and pleasure was mentioned by five respondents (three male and two female; for an illustration, see Quote 4).

Quote 4: It wasn’t the fairy tale story that I had imagined about losing virginity. I can’t even say what it was. Yeah, sex, nothing more than that. (Boy, 13 at FI outside a relationship context)

A second source of negative emotions was having sexual intercourse without fully wanting to. This was mentioned by two girls whose first experience of intercourse was in the context of a relationship (for an illustration, see Quote 5).

Quote 5: I had so much pain. I really didn’t want to do it. I remember that I was crying [. . . ] And so he said “do you want me to stop?” But I was too afraid to say “yes, please stop.” He said “you love me, right?” So I didn’t want to say anything. (Girl, 14 at FI with her partner after a relationship of “a few months” [she did not recall exactly how long])

In addition, pain was mentioned by two of the girls as a reason for the first intercourse being a bad experience. However, experiences of pain or disappointment did not necessarily lead to negative feelings about first-time intercourse, as they could also be considered “normal aspects of the first time.” Among the respondents with positive feelings about the first intercourse, five girls reported the experience of pain and two girls also mentioned disappointment (for illustrations, see Quotes 6 and 7, respectively).

Quote 6: It was fun, and intimate, mainly intimate actually. I mean, he was really sweet. But apart from that, I can’t say that I really enjoyed it. I mean, it mainly just hurt. I thought “I just have to go through this.” I think that, even if I had waited another year, it would have hurt just as much. (Girl, 14 at FI after being in a relationship for 2 months)

Quote 7: My first time was just fun because it was so intimate and being together, and he is lying on top of you and that’s just cozy [laughs]. He was doing foreplay and everything, and that was good, but the penetration itself, it wasn’t to say like “wow!” Afterwards I thought “this was it or what?” but that’s just because it’s only the beginning. (Girl, 14 at FI after being in a relationship for 2 months)

As for the emotions when looking back on the experience at the time of the interview, when remembering the experience of first having sexual intercourse, each of the respondents who recalled negative emotions also reported regret about their first experience and said they wished they had done it differently (for an illustration, see Quote 8).

Quote 8: Actually I “threw away” my first time. It was nothing special, no feelings. And now with my current girlfriend, I think maybe it would have been better to have done it with her, the first time. (Boy, 14 at FI outside a relationship context)

Respondents who recalled positive emotions could be categorized into two groups. One group of 10 respondents did not report any feelings of regret (for an illustration, see Quote 9), while the other group of 7 respondents reported some ambiguity when thinking back. These ambiguous feelings concerned the person with whom they experienced their first time or were about “meeting someone better” afterward (reported by 4 female respondents) or the feeling that they might have been too young (reported by 3 female respondents; for illustrations, see Quotes 10 and 11, respectively). However, importantly these respondents stated that they did not regret their first time.

Quote 9: By then [when the relationship was dissolved], I had been with him for three years and that makes a difference. That makes it easier. Because if I had waited until I was 15 or something, it wouldn’t have made any difference. (Girl, 14 at FI after a relationship of 2 months)

Quote 10: After that, I had another relationship, and I had known that boy a very long time, and he had become my best friend, and my bond with him was different than with the first one. That was just a bit more special [. . . ] And when I was with him, I thought: “It would have been just a bit more special to have experienced it with him.” But I have never regretted that I did it with the other one. (Girl, 14 at FI after a relationship of 7 months)

Quote 11: I don’t regret that person, but maybe the age. If later I have to tell my children when they come and ask me, “mummy when was your first time?” I don’t want to say, “Well, I was 14.” (Girl, 14 at FI after a relationship of 2 months)

The sexual trajectory

Given the young age at which the respondents first engaged in sexual intercourse, none of them progressed slowly from less intimate to more intimate sexual behavior. Even among those respondents who experienced a gradual transition, this took place at an accelerated pace compared with other young people (the time lapse between the first tongue kiss and the first experience of intercourse did not exceed 1 year for any of the respondents). Therefore, a distinction was made between early starters with a “progressive but accelerated sexual trajectory” and early starters with a “non-progressive sexual trajectory.” For 14 of the respondents (3 male and 11 female), the preceding sexual trajectory was categorized as progressive. These respondents did not feel as if they had moved too quickly and they felt the pace of progression was “comfortable” (for an illustration, see Quote 12).

Quote 12: It went step by step, and I think it was a serious relationship for both of us, even the first kiss and everything, at least for her it was, I had kissed before [. . . .] It all happened with that one girl and I am happy about that. (Boy, 14 at FI with his girlfriend after a relationship of 3 months)

Apart from kissing, 3 of the male and 10 of the female respondents had all their sexual experiences with the person they also had first-time intercourse with, and this was in the context of a relationship. However, there were large differences in the time between beginning a relationship and progressing to sexual intercourse: from 1 to 7 months. The 10 respondents (5 male and 5 female) with a non-progressive sexual trajectory already had experience of kissing, but not of more intimate sexual behavior, including genital contact (for an illustration, see Quote 13). Of these, 1 male and 3 female respondents were in a relationship with their first partner at the time of their first intercourse.

Quote 13: Interviewer: “Did you have any other sexual experiences before that?” Respondent: “No, only kissing really, holding hands, and that was about it. But that was the first time he touched my body like that. It was very intimate all at once.” (Girl, 14 at FI in a relationship context)

The preceding trajectory of sexual development could be associated with the emotional experience of intercourse for the first time. None of the 14 respondents with an (accelerated) progressive trajectory reported a negative emotional experience of first-time intercourse. However, among the 10 respondents with a non-progressive trajectory, 7 reported a negative experience. Respondents with a progressive sexual trajectory were also more likely to continue having sexual intercourse after the first time, which was also explained by the fact that it more often took place in the context of a relationship. Five respondents (3 male and 2 female) with a non-progressive trajectory, and for who the first time was outside a relationship context, waited a very long time (several years) before engaging in sexual intercourse again. In effect, the meaning attached to these later sexual encounters in the context of a more stable relationship, was similar to the meaning attached to the first experience of sexual intercourse by young people with a progressive sexual trajectory (for an illustration, see Quote 14).

Quote 14: After my 17th birthday, I did it another time. That was my second time ever. In fact it was just my new first time. (Girl, 14 at FI with someone she met on vacation [after 2 weeks])

Table 5 summarizes the qualitative findings with regard to the emotional experience of early first intercourse. The table shows that a positive experience of first-time intercourse (with or without ambiguous feelings about it afterwards) was associated with being in a relationship with the first sexual partner and with experiencing a progressive (accelerated) preceding sexual trajectory. However, this still does not explain why first-time intercourse is experienced more negatively by some early starters than by others.

Table 5.

Summarization of the Qualitative Results.

	In a relationship with first partner		Preceding sexual trajectory was progressive
	Yes	No	Yes	No
Positive and no regret	8	2	8	2
Positive and ambiguous	6	1	6	1
Negative and regret	3	4	0	7
Total (boys/girls)	17 (4/13)	7 (4/3)	14 (3/11)	10 (5/5)

The decision making

The feelings about first-time intercourse and the preceding sexual trajectory could be related to differences in the sexual decision making. First, even though none of the respondents said that the first time they had intercourse was planned (because “that would take away the spontaneity”), a non-progressive sexual trajectory was associated with less anticipation compared with a progressive trajectory. Respondents with a non-progressive trajectory said that they “did not see it coming” and that it “came as a surprise” (for illustrations, see Quotes 15 and 16).

Quote 15: It was actually very unexpected when it happened. It was in a drunken state and yeah, it just happened [. . . ] And yeah, I don’t know, we were so, so really in a drunken state and then it actually happened, without foreplay or anything, it was suddenly there. (Girl, 13 at FI after being in a “non-serious” relationship for 12 months)

Quote 16: I was really caught up in the moment, I didn’t see it coming. I was actually astonished. At that moment I was like “what is happening now?” (Girl, 14 at FI with somebody she had met on vacation a week beforehand)

For respondents with a progressive trajectory, the fact that the degree of intimacy built up gradually was in itself a way of anticipating that intercourse could happen (for an illustration, see Quote 17).

Quote 17: Interviewer: “Did you expect that something would happen with that girl?” Respondent: “In the beginning I didn’t, but after a while when it had lasted a long time [. . . ] Eventually you have also done other things. And it’s not like you get tired of that, but being interested in doing other things comes up.” (Boy, 14 at FI in a relationship context after being together for 4 months)

Second, respondents with a non-progressive trajectory also found it rather difficult to say exactly why they engaged in intercourse for the first time (for an illustration, see Quote 18) or they referred to non-autonomous reasons (not for themselves but “for the other person”; for an illustration, see Quote 19). Respondents with a progressive trajectory, however, had given more previous thought to their motives for engaging in intercourse and when asked, they could easily answer the question of why they did it (for an illustration, see Quote 20).

Quote 18: There were no motives, there was nothing, no feelings. It was just to get it over with. (Boy, 14 at FI outside a relationship context)

Quote 19: I didn’t feel good, but I thought: “he likes it.” So, at that point it felt good, like “I’m doing him a favor.” If he likes it, then I’m also a little bit happy. (Girl, 13 at FI in a relationship context after 12 months)

Quote 20: We had been together for seven months and actually we had wanted to try it for a while, because you love each other and it just gives that extra dimension to your relationship. So we both felt really ready. (Girl, 14 at FI in a relationship after 7 months)

Third, being put under pressure to engage in intercourse was reported by two girls who were in a relationship with their first partner and who experienced a non-progressive trajectory (for an illustration, see Quote 21).

Quote 21: He said “if you love me, then you’ll do it.” And I said “no, there are other ways to prove that.” He said there weren’t. (Girl, 14 at FI in a relationship context after being together for several months [she did not recall the exact amount of time])

Discussion

The first experience of sexual intercourse at an early age has been established as sexual risk behavior, given its adverse effects on the physical and emotional health of the young person concerned. However, the diversity within the group of early starters as well as the actual processes that make early first-time intercourse (potentially) more harmful remain understudied. This study aimed to make a step toward closing this gap in the research by answering the following questions: First, how is first intercourse at an early age experienced emotionally? Second, how does this experience vary among early starters? Last, how is this experience related to the circumstances in which it took place? Both quantitative and qualitative data were used in the investigation.

With regard to the emotional experience of early first intercourse, the quantitative study showed that intercourse for the first time is in general a better experience for male than for female respondents, which is in line with expectations. For both male and female respondents, the age at first-time intercourse was positively related to the feeling of readiness, but for the male respondents only, it was also positively related to the general experience of first intercourse (which was not expected). In addition, for the female respondents, SSES was a strong predictor of the general experience of first-time intercourse as well as for the feeling of being ready. This might indicate that for women, the experience of sexual behavior is more embedded in, or defined by, the social context. This is also in line with Baumeister’s proposition that the female sex drive is more malleable than the male in response to socio-cultural and situational factors (Baumeister, 2000). More research is needed to better understand the concrete nature of this relationship in the context of the experience of first intercourse. For example, girls with a higher socio-economic background might have better skills for negotiating the timing of the first intercourse as compared with girls from a lower socio-economic background. This could in turn be related for example to a different degree of internalization of traditional gender roles or differences in sex education received at school.

The qualitative part of the study explored the experience of first-time intercourse in greater depth and also gave more insights into the variance that exists among early starters with regard to their first experience of intercourse. For the majority of the respondents (17 out of 24), positive emotions were retrospectively recalled about the first intercourse at the time it occurred. These positive emotions were primarily related to the relationship in the context of which the activity took place, but also to aspects of physical pleasure and arousal, and the feeling of having done something important. Negative feelings about first-time intercourse related to the absence of any meaning and the experience of pressure from the partner. Furthermore, a negative experience of first-time intercourse was consistently associated with regret about it afterwards, while a positive experience was not. Some respondents with positive feelings about intercourse for the first time nevertheless reported some ambiguity with regard to either the timing of it or the partner, but they did not classify this as “regret.” Overall, while most research has focused on the negative experiential aspects of first intercourse at an early age, these findings show that positive emotions are also a very important aspect. In addition, the emotions that are felt when recalling first-time intercourse cannot entirely be captured with the dichotomy regret/no regret. Young people may feel ambivalent about it, especially if the first time was experienced in a positive way. Such ambivalence has only received limited attention in former research (Abma et al., 1998; Holland et al., 2000).

With regard to the circumstances that explain the emotional experience of first intercourse, the quantitative part of the study showed that for girls who are sexually active at an early age, having an older partner predicts a less positive first experience of intercourse. This is in line with what could be expected based on former research. The duration of the preceding trajectory of sexual development after the first tongue kiss has no effect on the emotional experience or on the feeling of readiness. However, the qualitative part of the study showed that a gradually progressing sexual trajectory is more likely to result in a positive experience of first-time intercourse and indications are found that this is at least partly due to the higher quality of the decision making in such a trajectory. Being in a steady relationship also seems to have improved the respondents’ decision making and thus served as a protective factor, under the condition that no pressure was exerted by the partner. These results are in line with previous research showing the importance of the relationship context and of being in control of the decision-making process (Houts, 2005; Skinner, Smith, Fenwick, Fyfe, & Hendriks, 2008; Wight et al., 2008). The current study adds new knowledge to previous findings by framing these protective factors within the broader sexual trajectory that precedes first-time intercourse. Furthermore, the sexual trajectory after first-time intercourse could also be related to the context in which it took place and how it was experienced.

Study Limitations

Several limitations are acknowledged regarding the present study. First, although representative with regard to having been taken from the Belgian National Register, the quantitative sample suffers from a low response rate of 39%. Considering the topic of the survey, this is not extremely low, and similar response rates are found in other European population-based surveys on sexual health and/or sexual behavior. Second, both the quantitative and qualitative data are based on retrospectively recalled experiences of first-time intercourse. It is possible that later experiences, and the development of the relationship with the first partner, could color the memory of the first experience and create bias in the data. Third, the quantitative analyses showed gender differences with regard to the importance of the age at first-time intercourse, the age difference with the first partner, and the subjective socio-economic background. Also, former research showed that adolescents’ sexual experiences are embedded in their social context (Shoveller, Johnson, Langille, & Mitchell, 2004) and that gender is an important shaping factor of the adolescent’s sexual experience (Tolman, Striepe, & Harmon, 2003). However, due to a lack of sociodemographic heterogeneity and insufficient male respondents in the qualitative sample, these differences that were found could not be further explored in depth. This is a clear limitation of this study. In addition, the homogeneity of both the quantitative and the qualitative sample in terms of the sociodemographic and ethnic background of the respondents means that the results are not generalizable to minority subgroups.

Practical Implications

This research can have several practical implications. First, it can stimulate researchers and policy makers to think of early starters in a more nuanced way. It is clear that not all early starters should be labeled as “victims” or “risk-takers” and that some young people who are sexually active at a relatively early age show a high level of responsible decision making with no subsequent regret. Second, the study can be used in connection with advocacy for more sex education starting at an early age. The qualitative part of the study in particular showed that for some early starters, a lack of decision-making skills leads to a negatively experienced and regretted start to sexual activity. Some of the respondents were overwhelmed by the situation and no real decision making preceded the first-time intercourse, while others were not able to deal with the relationship dynamics of implicit and explicit pressure. Sex education has a clear role in preparing young people for dealing with such circumstances if they occur. Third, and associated with this, the results can help sexual health organizations to support young people in answering the question “how do I know when I’m ready?” This question is often posed by young people but it is not an easy one to reply to.

Conclusion and Recommendations

Some general conclusions and suggestions for future research can be made. First, the relationship context in which first-time intercourse takes place is strongly associated with the emotional experience of it. In this regard, some of the more successful early starters show a high level of relationship commitment as well as responsible sexual decision making. To have a better understanding of an early start to sexual activity and the risks involved, it is suggested that future research pays more attention to framing this commencement of sexual activity in the context of the adolescent’s relationship skills. Research shows that “romantic development” passes through different phases and that there are inter-individual differences in the timing and pace of this development (Shulman & Seiffge-Krenke, 2001). At the same time, engagement in a committed relationship at a normatively early age in itself entails risks in terms of managing friendship relationships with same-aged peers (Zimmer-Gembeck, 2002). It can be expected that the experience of the first intercourse is intrinsically related to these broader contexts.

Second, the qualitative part of the study showed that the positive and negative emotions that were recalled from the first-time intercourse relate to an array of different underlying meanings. To reach a more nuanced understanding of early first-time intercourse, it will be necessary to incorporate more of these nuances in future research. In particular, positive emotions have mostly not been considered to date when studying early first-time intercourse, although they are a very important aspect of the experience.

Third, the study showed that understanding first-time intercourse from the context of preceding sexual experiences as well as those that follow, is an important aspect for understanding this stage of life and the risks involved. Former research on first intercourse insufficiently incorporates these other sexual experiences in adolescence so that little is known about the broader sexual trajectories that young people pass through and how these trajectories as a whole influence adolescents’ emotional and physical health. Further, the finding that for some young people their first experience of intercourse is not a marker of the beginning of their “sexually active life” has so far not been sufficiently acknowledged.

Last, some respondents were better able than others to create beneficial circumstances for their commencement of sexual activity. The results here are in line with what has been found in former research regarding the importance of good decision-making skills, such as control and anticipation (Mitchell & Wellings, 1998). Further research is needed in order to understand more about these sexual competences at the time of initiating intercourse, in order to better support young people in making the transition. Research should also pay more attention to how these sexual skills evolve during the course of adolescence. Especially, given the link between early first-time intercourse and later sexual risk taking behavior, it is crucial to know how and why some young people with a high-risk introduction to sexual activity manage to acquire more relevant skills later during adolescence, while other young people are stuck in a pattern of unsafe sexual behavior. If the risks related to beginning sexual activity young result from a lack of sexual skills, then mere postponement of first-time intercourse will only be part of the solution to a healthy sexual development.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The Sexpert study was funded by the Strategic Basic Research program of the Flemish Agency for Innovation by Science and Technology. The SAFE II study was funded by the European Commission (the Education, Audiovisual and Culture Executive Agency).

Author Biographies

Katrien Symons, master in sociology (Catholic University of Leuven) and master in sexology (Catholic University of Leuven), is a PhD student at the Department of Sociology, Ghent University, and a member of the research group CuDOS. Her main research interests revolve around problem behavior in adolescence from a biopsychosocial perspective with a focus on sexual health behavior.

Hans Vermeersch has a PhD in sociology (Ghent University). His main research interest includes the biopsychosocial analysis of externalizing and internalizing symptoms in adolescents.

Mieke Van Houtte, PhD in sociology (Ghent University), is professor at the Department of Sociology and head of the research group CuDOS, at Ghent University. Her main research interest goes to educational inequality and the effects of structural and compositional school features on various outcomes of students and teachers.

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