What Do They Want From My Life? Parent-Child Relationships as Perceived by Druze Adolescents in Israel

Abstract

This research examined Druze adolescents’ perception of their relationships with parents in Israel. Israeli Druze is a small group accounting for only 2% of Israel’s population. The Druze society is patriarchal; it demands absolute loyalty to the values of religion, family, and clan. Our goal was to explore the impact of increasing intercultural contact with modern Israeli society and the outside world on parent-child relationships in a traditional society that demands absolute loyalty and obedience to elders. The researchers used the phenomenological approach to understand parent-child relationships from the perspective of the adolescents themselves. Twelve Druze adolescents, six females and six males ranging in age from 16 to 18, completed a semi-structured interview in which they were asked to describe their relationships with parents. Participants were prompted to describe a recent conflict, if any, and the way in which the conflict was resolved, as well as a positive and a negative interaction with parents in the past year. Thematic analyses revealed intergenerational conflict related to perceived acculturation gaps. Other consistent themes portrayed supportive parent-child relationships and the adolescents’ commitment to Druze heritage. Overall, findings suggest that although increasing exposure to modern society may lead to intergenerational conflict, Druze adolescents remained grounded in supportive family relationships and their religious heritage.

Keywords

Druze Druze family Druze adolescents acculturation acculturation gaps traditional society parent-child relationships

This research focused on identifying and describing the characteristics of parent-child relationships as perceived by Druze adolescents who grew up as a minority in Israel. Specifically, the research examined whether increasing exposure to Western norms and values through globalization has had an impact on family relationships during adolescence in a traditional society. Adolescence, broadly defined as between the ages of 12 and 19, is a developmental period characterized by the physiological changes of puberty and a significant period of psychosocial development (Koepke & Denissen, 2012). Going back decades to the pioneering work of Erik Erikson (1968), the Western literature on adolescent development focuses on a search for individual identity and autonomy, and describes a period of transition and renegotiation of parent-child boundaries. As adolescents seek to define their sense of personal identity and place in the world, parent-child relationships play a central role in how adolescents learn to balance a sense of autonomy and separation with a competing need for relatedness and connection to others in adult relationships (Kagitcabasi, 2005; Scharf & Mayseless, 2005; Seiffge-Krenke, Overbeek, & Vermulst, 2010; Smits et al., 2008).

Challenges to family equilibrium during this period may include conflict as adolescents view their parents as upholding a traditional outlook, parents view their adolescent children as less cooperative and communicative and more combative, and adolescents perceive themselves as more responsible and independent than their parents view them (Shulman, 1995). Changes in family equilibrium and relationships may be reflected in shifting rules, boundaries, and responsibilities, as well as the degree of authority and control exerted by parents. These processes may lead to crises, anger, and disappointment in the parent-adolescent relationship (McKinney & Renk, 2011; Nachum, 2003). In families where parents are very authoritarian or indulgent, conflict may be detrimental for adolescent development, whereas in families where relationships are characterized by mutual respect, conflict can serve a positive function by enabling family members to express their viewpoints and air their differences (Goren & Kerstin, 2007). Schwartz et al. (2012) analyzed data from 11 different cultures and discovered the universal importance of parental warmth and support for adolescent development; about one third of Israeli Jewish and Arab adolescents were reported to experience their relationship with parents as warm and close (Scharf & Mayseless, 2005).

In addition to family rules and boundaries, contemporary adolescents are also challenged to integrate the cultural messages of an increasingly complex global society. Minority adolescents from traditional societies are likely to experience acculturative pressure in their identity development as they negotiate the competing appeal of a modern society with the traditional norms of their family. As part of their identity development process, minority adolescents face the additional challenge of not only understanding themselves and their culture of origin, but also the majority culture, and the dynamics between the two (Sue & Sue, 2003). These adolescents need not only to achieve separation from their parents, they face additional challenges as they struggle to place themselves vis-a-vis their own ethnic culture and the surrounding majority culture.

Our research examines the process of acculturation in a context where there is no actual migration of people involved, but rather increasing intercultural exposure over time. Research on acculturation often focuses on immersion into a new culture through immigration. Specific responses based on whether or not an individual embraces or rejects the new culture, as well as their culture of origin, following migration have been identified as integration (integrating both the old and new culture), assimilation (shifting one’s orientation to the new culture), separation (maintaining one’s cultural heritage), or marginalization (identifying with neither; Rasmi, Chuang, & Hennig, 2015, 2017; Ward & Geeraert, 2016). Research suggests younger generations tend to become more oriented toward a new culture than older ones, a situation referred to as an acculturation gap. Among Arab immigrants to Canada, Rasmi et al. (2015, 2017) found that the perception of acculturation gaps within Arab families (Muslim and Christian) was associated with greater distress and intergenerational conflict, particularly in families with weaker parent-child relationships.

Druze Family

The Druze family is characteristic of a traditional family, maintaining shared conservative values passed down through generations, and demanding that basic rules and edicts be obeyed to ensure stability and continuity of the family unit (Abbas, 2007). In many ways, Druze culture is similar to that of other traditional Arab communities in the Middle East. Families tend to be large, live in close proximity, and are organized around a patriarchal family structure emphasizing the central role and authority of men (Abbas, 2010; Weiner-Levy, 2006, 2011). While Druze tradition and culture appear to be similar to some of the practices of Islam, the Druze religion is secret and largely unknown to the outside world. For outsiders, the Druze community is completely closed; no one can convert to become Druze, and there are no recognized marriages between Druze and outsiders (Abbs & Court, 2012; A. Halabi, 2015; Zidan et al., 2015). Overall, the strong and continuous connection between individual and family may benefit Druze adolescents, yet also burden them by creating an endless string of commitments and unique challenges.

According to Saab-Safadi (2003), Druze adolescents must deal with family pressure, excessive family involvement in their personal life, and high demands for conformity while they seek independence and individualism as emerging adults. Adolescent girls must also deal with additional constraints due to the prescribed gender roles within the Druze community. All women and girls are expected to live at home with their father or another first-degree male relative until marriage due to an explicit restriction on mixed sex interactions and the belief that women’s primary role resides within the home (Abbas & Court, 2012).

Over the years, however, integration into the larger Israeli society has led to significant transitions within the Druze community, particularly for women. Although Druze social norms have historically limited the function of Druze women to home and family under male control (Cohen, 2007; Faraj, 2005; Haj-Yahia, 1998; Weiner-Levy, 2008), beginning as early as the 1980s, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of women pursuing higher education and working outside of the home (Abbas, 2010, 2012; Peleg, Halaby, & Whaby, 2006). From a religious perspective, a woman’s decision to study or work outside the village is forbidden, and women who choose to break with these traditions face strong sanctions. Women who choose to leave their village to study or to work, or acquire a driver’s license, are no longer permitted to be a part of the Druze religious community, although they still maintain their status as Druze (Abbas, 2010). Based on this exclusion from the religious community, adolescent girls who want to pursue higher education and a career must make choices that not only affect their own status in the community but also their family’s; parents who allow their daughters to pursue non-traditional paths are also excluded from most religious life in the community. However, young women who wish to pursue higher education must be supported by their father or another male relative to succeed (Abbas, 2010; R. Halabi, 2014; Weiner-Levy, 2006).

Weiner-Levy (2008) suggests the support and encouragement of the Druze father serves as the basis for family and social change in societies on the verge of modernity. Highlighting the importance of patriarchy within a traditional Muslim community in Israel, Seginer and Mahajna (2004) found that the father’s perceived beliefs regarding the traditional role of women within the home predicted his adolescent daughter’s educational achievement. Similarly, in her research on the Druze community in Israel, Weiner-Levy (2008, 2011) found supportive relationships between daughters who chose to pursue higher education and their patriarchal fathers. In spite of the societal implications for women, many Druze parents encourage their daughters to strive for academic achievement and excellence alongside their male siblings (Abbas, 2007; Abbas & Court, 2012). Druze families place great emphasis on scholastic achievements as they are significant not only for the individual but also for the entire family (Barakat, 1985). For Druze adolescents, success and failure has important implications beyond their own personal sense of fulfillment and extends to the entire family as well.

The Druze Community in Israel

While the Druze community maintains their unique identity and traditional practices in Israel, they have also been heavily influenced by their ongoing integration into the larger Israeli society. Druze families have resided in the same villages in the mountains of northern Israel for generations, been full citizens of the State of Israel since its creation, and contribute significantly to the rich cultural diversity of the Israeli population. Although Druze live in largely segregated villages and attend their own school systems, their ongoing integration into secular Israeli society has increasingly exposed the Israeli Druze to Western ideas and values. Interdependence with the larger Israeli society has increased in part due to the societal transition away from local agriculture into the broader job market, and the increasing need for both men and women to achieve advanced academic degrees and work to support one’s family (Court, Abbas, & Walters, 2012; Dana, 2009; Weiner-Levy, 2008, 2011). Under sustained intercultural contact such as this, acculturation may occur when people are meaningfully engaged with a culture that differs significantly from their own (Ward & Geeraert, 2016).

This integration into a modern society has created social, economic, and educational changes and modernization (Hassan, 2011) and influenced Druze interfamilial relations (Abbas, 2010). As full citizens of Israel, the Druze have access to all available resources associated with living in a modern, developed, and democratic society including access to higher education, legally protected rights granting equality to women, and professional employment. Access to these resources has enabled families to provide a high standard of living that includes opportunities to travel and study abroad as well as integration into global communication. For both young Druze adults, experiences in the Israeli military for men and civil service for women provide broad exposure to modern Israeli society outside of their villages, and creates personal connections, worldviews, and ambitions that often conflict with the traditional Druze way of life.

Given broader educational opportunities through higher education, today’s young Druze are more inclined to question and challenge authority as the legitimacy to question and examine gradually goes beyond texts and academic discourse. Through this process, the foundations of the authoritative structure and outlook of the traditional family may be slowly undermined as their validity as the only absolute truth is challenged. Ultimately, these individual and social processes provide a venue for Druze adolescents to make their voices heard (Weiner-Levy, 2004). In many ways, over the last decade, the Druze community in Israel has opened to the external world from a state of self-imposed social segregation. While in the not so distant past, most young Druze devoted their efforts and abilities toward developing Druze society, today young Druze men and women study in universities with the full support of their families (Weiner-Levy, 2004).

Goals and Theoretical Foundation of the Current Study

This research was developed from a transnational feminist perspective that emphasizes the unique perspective and experiences of those living outside of Western populations as a way to further our understanding of human lives and ways of being (Kurtis & Adams, 2015). Our approach rested heavily on placing our findings within the specific cultural and historical context of the population being studied (Else-Quest & Grabe, 2012; Levitt, Motulsky, Wertz, Morrow, & Ponterotto, 2017). Consistent with the goals of transnational feminist research, our work represented a collaboration between feminist scholars in Western and non-Western settings, was led by a scholar who is part of the community being studied herself, and prioritized the perspective of those for whom this research most readily applies (Grabe & Else-Quest, 2012; Kurtis & Adams, 2015; Mohanty, 1988). We believe this approach laid the groundwork for a culturally rich understanding of parent-child relationships within the Israeli Druze community itself, and intentionally avoids privileging the findings and theoretical orientation found within the Western literature on adolescence. While Western literature consistently describes adolescence as a period of exploration, differentiation, and separation from parents, we hoped to highlight the ways in which adolescence is experienced in a context where children are deeply embedded within their family, expected to maintain close proximity and ties to family throughout their lifetime, and bear the ultimate responsibility to preserve and pass on the beliefs and traditions of a closed, secretive religious community. Importantly, these adolescent voices described ways in which adolescents and parents may negotiate the likely appeal and draw of a modern, industrialized society from within a traditional, closed, and collectivist society where they must balance the inherent complexities of both an Arab and Israeli identity.

The objective was to identify and describe the characteristics of parental relationships as perceived by Druze adolescents themselves. Specifically, we hoped to illuminate whether exposure to non-traditional society has made an impact on parent-child relationships from the perspective of the adolescents. The researchers used the phenomenological approach in the qualitative research tradition that focuses on understanding the phenomenon from the perspective of those experiencing it (Van Manen, 1990). We believe our work was strengthened significantly by the unique perspectives of the four authors, two of whom (male and female) are members of the Druze community themselves, and two of whom are outsiders. Our work was collaborative and benefited from our unique worldviews as both insiders and outsiders to Druze culture and Israel. This research developed through our shared understanding of English as our common language; however, our work was strengthened considerably by our ability to cross language barriers through a collaboration between native speakers of Arabic, English, and Hebrew. While our necessarily limited overview of the Druze provides only a brief sketch of this complex culture and religion, we hope to have illuminated multiple ways in which Druze adolescents in Israel face a unique set of challenges and opportunities given their specific cultural heritage and context.

Method

Participants

The research population consisted of 12 Druze adolescents, 16 to 18 years of age (M = 17.13, SD = 0.16), six boys and six girls. We selected participants from homogeneous villages comprised of Druze only. According to the Israeli Central Bureau of Statistics (2015), 138,000 Druze resided in 18 villages in four regions across Israel. Our research focused on three main concentrations of the Druze population: Mount Carmel, Upper Galilee, and Western Galilee. We acknowledge our small sample size; however, we were able to achieve saturation with the size of the sample because of the inquisitive nature of our research, the manner in which the interviewees were selected, and because the participants stopped contributing new insights (Ritchie, Lewis, & Elam, 2003).

To identify and select the research participants, the researchers met with a leading Druze educator who is familiar with all of the villages where the Druze reside in Israel. Based on input from this educator, we selected 12, 16- to 18-year-old adolescent children who lived in families with a moderate socioeconomic status (Central Bureau of Statistics, 2015). In addition to balancing sex, we made an effort to have the interviewees equally represented among adolescents with parents who are religious, traditional, and secular, a specific categorization that is based on adherence to Druze religious practices and understood throughout the community. Druze members who are religious are allowed to read the secret religious books. They observe the religious commandments, and maintain a religious appearance wearing traditional clothing and covering the head. Those identified as traditional are not allowed to read the secret religious books; however, most would observe the religious commandments and maintain a modest appearance, especially in terms of dress. Secular parents are not allowed to read the secret religious books, and are characterized by the absence of religious or traditional symbols. We also intentionally selected adolescents whose parents varied in their educational level; parents’ ages ranged from 45 to 60 years of age.

Procedure

Each interviewee voluntarily agreed to participate in the study. All participants were informed that at any moment, they could stop the interview, and that they had the right not to participate in the study, and the right to request that their interviews would not be used as a part of this research. Our research protocol received ethics approval following a review at an academic institution of higher education in Israel. In the State of Israel, the approval of the Chief Scientist is required only if research is conducted within the school system. In our case, the study was conducted outside the school and with parental and participant consent. Therefore, we did not need to obtain approval from the Ministry of Education prior to the interviews.

The purpose of the qualitative analysis was to develop an understanding of the adolescents’ feelings toward themselves and their parents, and to delineate the characteristics of the adolescent-parent relationship in the traditional Druze family. A semi-structured personal interview was designed to elicit descriptions of adolescents’ perception of significant interactions with their parents over the past year. To develop the specific questions, the researchers considered the overall purpose of their research; specifically, what they wanted to learn from the adolescents, their ability to access this population in a respectful way, the appropriateness of the questions, how much time they had available, and how much they already knew about their research topic (Edwards & Holland, 2013).

The interview questions were based on an understanding of qualitative inquiry (Edwards & Holland, 2013; Mason, 2002) and research on traditional families (Azaiza, 2005; Lavee & Katz, 2002; Mikulincer, Weller, & Florian, 1993; Shechtman, Hiradin, & Zina, 2003). The development of the interview questions and subsequent analyses also benefited from the unique composition of the research team. Two of the researchers (male and female) were members of the Druze community and grew up in Druze families, whereas two coauthors were not members of the Druze community. One Druze researcher also had prior experience interviewing Druze youth and adults in research on inter-religious generational gaps (Court et al., 2012). The combination of “insider” and “outsider” researchers gave us a rich and balanced perspective for developing the interview questions and then analyzing the participants’ responses (Dwyer & Buckle, 2009).

The interview began by asking adolescents to “tell me about yourself” followed by asking for a description of their relationship with their mother, and a description of their relationship with their father. They were then asked to give an example of a family conflict they had experienced in the last year, if any, and what their parents said to them if they were angry. Based on their response to these questions, participants were asked how they were affected by the conflict, and asked whether they thought their parents “understood their world” and “why or why not?” They were then asked to describe their communication with their parents, and how they felt about their communication. Last, they were prompted to think of things that their parents said that made them feel good and things that their parents said that made them feel bad, and to recall a specific experience they had with their parents over the past year that they felt was positive and one that was negative.

The interviews were conducted by two researchers and recorded in full. Both interviewers were Israeli citizens, one was from the Druze community, the other was from the Jewish community. Each interview lasted approximately 1½ hours. They were conducted following advance coordination and receipt of parents’ written consent as well as the consent of each participant. To encourage interviewees to feel free to speak and share their personal experiences, the location of each interview was determined by the adolescent with parental consent; the interview sites included coffee shops, community centers, and youth clubs.

The interviews were conducted in Arabic and transcribed by an Arabic-speaking researcher. These transcripts were given to a professional translator who translated them into Hebrew. After receiving the Hebrew translation, a researcher fluent in both Arabic and Hebrew checked the Hebrew compatibility with the Arabic language. After analyzing the contents of the findings, the data were translated by a professional translator from Hebrew to English, and after their examination by the Israeli researchers, they were sent for back translation from English to Hebrew to ensure the reliability of the translation in English. After transcription, the 12 interviews underwent content analysis based on grounded theory (Strauss & Corbin, 1997). Each interviewer read through the transcripts multiple times to identify common themes and patterns. After working independently, the interviewers then met to reach a consensus on the central themes and patterns they both observed and those are reported in this article.

Validity and Reliability of the Research

In qualitative research, reliability and validity together constitute the trustworthiness of the results, and reliability is dependent on validity. If validity is dealt with properly, through various kinds of triangulation and researcher critical self-reflection, reliability is also achieved (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). In the current research, we worked to achieve reliability and validity throughout the research and writing process. As is acceptable in qualitative research, trustworthiness was achieved through a rich description of the theoretical background and specific context, reinforcement of the findings through detailed and appropriate quotations, and an open conceptual discussion supported by evidence provided by the participants (Goetz & LeCompte, 1984; Levitt et al., 2017; Riessman, 1993). The study was conducted by four researchers, two of whom were from the Druze society, one from Israeli society, and one from American society. This diversity enabled each member to respond critically to the analysis and writing. The researchers also used a senior researcher from the Israeli Academy, who is considered an expert on qualitative research and who has investigated Druze society in her work. This researcher examined the research and verified the findings.

Results

The thematic content analysis revealed three main themes that emerged consistently in the participant interviews. Specific quotes are included to demonstrate the connection between each theme and specific comments taken directly from the transcribed interviews.

Conflict Between Druze Adolescents and Their Parents Arising From the Adolescents’ Exposure to Modern Lifestyles and Parents Upholding Traditional Patriarchal Values

Families attempting to educate their children in the spirit of tradition going back hundreds of years were frustrated when confronted with adolescents who sought to adopt a modern lifestyle that included socializing with friends outside the village, free expression of personal opinions and open disagreement with parents, and mingling with the opposite sex without a chaperone. This clash created significant conflict between parents and their adolescent children, with many parental messages perceived by the adolescents as confusing and inconsistent. These situations were characterized by disagreement among family members regarding the way in which a specific event or situation was perceived. These conflicts developed when parents sought closeness and interdependence while adolescents preferred a high level of autonomy and independence. This kind of conflict emerged in almost all but one of the interviews (n= 11). For example, Riham (f) described one conflict:

On Thursday I always go out with my girlfriends. We go out to have fun and experience things. I went out and really enjoyed myself, it was great and when I got home late (10 p.m.) with my closest friend, my mother was very irritated and began screaming because I got home late and she talked to me in such a hostile way. I got very angry, I shouted and talked to her very rudely and left the house and told her that I did not want to come back. But in the end I came back because I am not used to being far from my mother and father.

Yosef (m) noted that “I want to go out with my friends and I also want a cell phone . . . (My father) doesn’t understand me, he always says that I waste money and always argues with me . . .”

School-related issues were one of the main topics around which family clashes and conflicts arose. Suhir (f) recounted that

One night I heard my mother complaining to my father and aunt, screaming and telling them that I always create problems and don’t help her at home. She doesn’t understand the amount of studies I have and continuously claims that I refuse to help her.

Adham (m) reinforced Suhir’s story saying that

I told my father my grade and he started yelling and saying that because I didn’t devote a lot of time and spent all the time on the computer, getting together with friends, and speaking on my cell phone, I don’t have time to read and look what I got . . . What does he want from me, . . . (he) doesn’t understand that I also have a personal life . . .

Overall, our findings suggest that adolescents wanted to live according to modern ways, and yet their desire for free expression and independence often caused conflict with their parents who wanted them to uphold traditional values and Druze customs.

The Adolescents Described Close Relationships With Their Parents Often Describing Their Parents as Empathetic Role Models, Siblings, and Best Friends

Both male and female adolescents interviewed (n = 12) described their mother as their best friend or big sister, role model, and confidante. Samira (f) described, “When I am in a difficult situation or I have a problem she is always on my side and supports me . . . she is the best friend I have . . . Mother is my role model,” and Sahar (f): “We have a very strong connection . . . My mother is always by my side when I have a problem. She is like a big sister.”

The adolescent boys interviewed also perceived their mother as their best friend and keeper of their secrets. According to Salman (m): “I highly respect my mother, I tell her all my secrets and she is my best friend.” Samir (m) described, “I have an excellent relationship with my mother. She knows everything that happens to me . . . Listen, she is the best friend I have.” In the words of Mahdi (m), “My mother is like my big sister to whom I tell all my secrets and I consult with her about every step I plan to take.”

The adolescents indicated that while their mothers were accessible and cared for their needs, their fathers, while also loving and close, remained the authority figure in the family. Our research found a strong relationship between the adolescent girls and their fathers (n = 6). Some described their father as their best friend, a partner to everything that goes on in their life, especially in school matters. Samira (f) described, “I think that if I did not have my father’s encouragement and support, I would not be an outstanding pupil . . . my father is the one who can support me in realizing my dreams despite all the opposition around me.” Also, the adolescent girls described their father as empathetic, in the highest position of authority, and someone they could rely on completely. According to Sahar (f), “Whatever I cannot tell my mother and when I feel helpless, I go to my father and find that he is always on my side and I feel comfortable telling him everything. I know I can rely on him.” The boys also perceived their father as the ultimate role model (n = 4); however their relationships seemed to be characterized by a lesser degree of closeness compared with the adolescent girls. According to Salman (m), “gives me all the authority to make the right decisions but there are things I like to keep to myself,” and Mahdi (m) described, “The quality of my relations with my father is good regarding most things I do. But I do not tell my father things I do with my friends for example.”

Although Adolescents Felt Angry at Their Parents’ Confusing Messages That Created Competing Expectations, They Also Wanted to Help and Support Them

Despite anger and confusion, adolescents still wanted to help and support their parents (n = 11). When parents conveyed conflicting messages, the adolescents reported feeling angry, frustrated, and confused, yet also deeply connected to their families. Mison (f) stated,

When I do something that is appropriate for a person younger than me, then my parents say that it is unsuitable, that I am grown, but when I give advice or participate in a conversation with my parents, they say that I should not get involved since I am still young . . . when they treat me this way it makes me feel unworthy in their eyes . . . but I know that they didn’t mean to hurt me and I will do everything to help them.

Ainas (f) also addressed confusing messages communicated in her family, recounting that

Recently I was reprimanded by my parents . . . for me it was a negative experience full of anger and humiliation. On the other hand, as the eldest daughter in the family I feel committed to take responsibility and to care for my family. I try to help them as much as I can . . .

The boys also expressed frustration, confusion, disappointment, and anger about mixed messages communicated by their parents. However, they emphasized the importance of supporting and helping their parents. It seems that while they struggle for their rights to participate in the modern world, they retain the traditional value of respect for parents. Adnan (m) said that

My mother and sisters always tell me that I should study what I want . . . But what angers me is that when they sit with my father, they argue that it is preferable that I study medicine . . . on this issue, I will do what I like and want . . . I do not understand what my family wants from me. Nonetheless I feel a need to support my family.

Samir also said that

As long as I sit . . . and do my homework, my father is in a great mood. But when I go out with friends, he begins . . ., “Where are you going? Probably to play pool, to the sport hall, or the youth club!” It really angers me because I am not the kind of person that does not care about himself. It really hurts me. But what can I do, just accept this reality and live my life, because inside I feel a need to give of myself to my family and to support it, in all respects.”

Discussion

Although adolescents experienced frustration from conflict situations emerging from a clash between modern life and their traditional family—a conflict that followed them in almost every step they made—they still perceived the family as a source of strength. The conflicts described in their interviews described parent-child disagreements over the amount of time spent away from the family and home, pressure for strict adherence to parental authority, as well as arguments regarding the adolescents’ time spent on cell phones and computers. These intergenerational conflicts are consistent with the most frequently found pattern of acculturation gaps between parents and their children (Rasmi et al., 2015; Ward & Geeraert, 2016). Parents were described as enforcing a traditional lifestyle emphasizing family and parental respect, whereas adolescents expressed their personal desire to stay engaged in the larger world by emphasizing the value they placed on spending time with their peers, as well as the time they wanted to spend on computers and cell phones. Notably, unlike other research on Arab acculturation through immigration (Rasmi et al., 2015, 2017), the adolescents in our study experienced no change in family residency or separation from their culture of origin, but rather increasing engagement and integration into modern society.

Alongside their perception of intergenerational conflict, adolescents described close relationships with their parents. In an earlier study comparing Arab and Jewish youth in Israel, Mikulincer et al. (1993) found that parental supervision and control was associated with a sense of closeness to parents among Arab high school students, but not among their Jewish counterparts. More recently, Azaiza (2005) found that female adolescents in the Israeli Arab community (Muslim and Christian) reported having a more positive relationship with their parents than boys, even though the adolescent girls experienced greater parental supervision and control. Collectively, this albeit limited research suggests that parental involvement and control may be perceived as an indication of caring and warmth for adolescents in the Arab community.

In our own study, the descriptions of parent relationships among our interviewees often equated their experience of the parent-child relationship to a friendship or sibling relationship. On the surface, these descriptions seem to be inconsistent with the authoritarian role of parents typically attributed to traditional Arab families (Azaiza, 2005; Mikulincer et al., 1993; Shechtman et al., 2003). Future research is needed to determine whether these sentiments are shared by the parents or simply seen through the eyes of their children. As noted by Rasmi et al. (2015), Arab parents themselves may be challenged to find ways to help their children succeed in the modern world, while balancing their desire to enforce traditional values and pass on their cultural heritage. The refrain heard in the adolescent interviews of “What do they want from my life?” may reflect adolescents’ confusion over what they perceive to be mixed messages from their parents; parents may be perceived as pushing them to succeed in the modern world, while also demanding strict adherence and respect for their traditional way of life that pulls them away from a modern lifestyle. In the future, we hope to interview Druze parents to provide a deeper understanding and more complete picture of parent-child relationships by examining the perception of both parents and their adolescent children.

Clearly, these findings reflect the centrality of family in Druze society as adolescents expressed their desire to remain connected to their cultural heritage and support their families. Adolescents’ commitment to their family may be particularly important in a cultural context in which it is socially unacceptable for parents and children to live separate lives regardless of their ages. Within this context, the process of developing a personal identity during adolescence may follow a very different course than that typically found in Western cultures that emphasize independence and self-reliance. Tuason and Friedlander (2000) suggest that in collectivist cultures, adolescents may develop their sense of personal identity and voice from within the family, rather than through a process of separation from the family. In Druze culture, children are expected to live near and care for their elderly parents until their last day (Court, Abbas, & Walters, 2012; Nasser-al-Din, 2005); those who do not become socially ostracized and are seen as violating the dignity and status of their family. Notably, only one nursing home exists in the entire Druze sector of Israel, created for those who are medically required to undergo intensive care and cannot live within a family home.

Our work is limited by the relatively small number of participants as well as the inherent constraints of self-report among interviewees who may be reluctant to disclose what they perceive as being off limits to outsiders (Shechtman et al., 2003). We believe, however, that sharing the voices of our participants adds significantly to our understanding of adolescence and parent-child relationships in a unique cultural context. Our work benefited tremendously from the personal insight and access to the Druze community afforded by the two Druze researchers on our team. We found a remarkable consistency among the ideas and themes expressed among the adolescents, as well as important insight on acculturation in a context where there is no migration. The findings in this study are consistent with other literature suggesting unique developmental trajectories during adolescence in non-Western, collectivist cultures (e.g., Tuason & Friedlander, 2000). Future research is needed to examine the ways in which parents from traditional societies experience acculturation through intercultural contact. Further research is also needed to understand the strategies parents use to help their children thrive in a modern world, while also seeking to pass on the values and traditions that have been cherished for generations.

Summary and Conclusion

This study examined the perception of parent-child relationships among Druze adolescents in Israel. While Druze parents maintained traditional family values emphasizing stability and continuity of the family system (Abbas, 2007), adolescents expressed a more modern view of the family characterized by the right of each family member to lead a private life. However, despite conflict with parents and the significant challenges Druze adolescents faced in negotiating their daily lives, strong family cohesion was clearly evident. In our study, Druze adolescents seemed to create a unique strategy that enabled them to negotiate between their traditional family values and their need for separation and independence in a modern world. Druze adolescents seemed to bypass some of the differences between themselves and their parents by attributing to their parents, social roles other than that of parents. Participants described their parents as their best friends, just like their peers, or alternatively, like siblings their age. This may represent a transition in the way Druze adolescents perceive their traditional parents, and may highlight the parents’ role in helping adolescents to overcome the friction experienced between their traditional values and modern pursuits. For adolescents who face community sanction and opposition, supportive parents may be perceived as an important source of encouragement and direction as well as their only confidantes.

Other Israeli Arab populations (Christian and Muslim) are undergoing similar processes, albeit at somewhat different rates. In addition, another minority group in Israel, Jewish immigrants from Ethiopia, is undergoing similar periods of transition whereby the first generation retains traditional norms from the past, and the second generation, while respecting parents, increasingly pursues higher education, uses the Internet, and integrates within the broader society (Abbas & Court, 2012). Whether or not other Druze populations, such as those in Syria and Lebanon, are experiencing changes similar to the Israeli Druze is difficult to determine. Social research of the kind conducted here may not be prevalent in those countries; no such studies were known to be available to the authors.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Author Biographies

Randa Abbas is a lecturer in the Department of Education, Western Galilee College, and dean of Academic Studies at the Arab Academic College in Haifa, Israel. Her primary teaching and research interests include education in a multicultural society, educational leadership, generational gaps in traditional societies, and education among minorities.

Sherri P. Pataki is an associate professor of psychology in the psychology department of Westminster College, New Wilmington, PA. She received her PhD from Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, PA, where she studied social psychology. Her teaching and research interests include courses and topics related to interpersonal relationships, diversity and multiculturalism, social justice, and gender.

Vered Vaknin-Nusbaum is an associate professor in the education department and the head of the learning disabilities program and literacy program at Western Galilee College, Israel. Her teaching and research interests include courses and topics related to learning disabilities, literacy, and education among minorities.

Salman Ilaiyan is the head of The Arab Academic College in Haifa, Israel. His teaching and research interests include education in a multicultural society, education among minorities, and teacher training and literacy.

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