Abstract
“We just love life at the moment because then we were all dull and didn’t like life much and now we’re all happy. We feel we can do anything we want.” (p. 345)
Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers’ Lives explores the cumulative and harmful impact of domestic violence (DV), a form of abuse of mothers and children that is coercive and rooted in controlling behaviors. Based on interviews with 15 mothers and 15 children, the book sheds light on how these adult and child victims develop agentic strategies to cope and resist entrapment in relationships with perpetrators and achieve some semblance of happiness during post-separation recovery.
This book provides a complex understanding of DV and abuse by situating women's and children's experiences in macro-level contexts—social, political, and cultural—that reinforce ongoing abusive behaviors while illuminating victims’ processes en route to recovery through reciprocity and positivity. To avoid victim-blaming narratives, Katz identifies contributing factors to DV on both personal and structural levels and points out a wide range of abusive tactics perpetrators use to dominate women and children in service of their own needs. Reading accounts of victims’ nuanced and lived experiences while living under coercive control requires readers to face humbly their own assumptions about abuse and cultivate compassion and respect for the victims. This book has the potential to change positively readers’ perspectives by enabling us to see beyond the obvious impacts of DV and abuse.
Many DV-related studies portray a physical understanding of DV, but are insufficient and misleading for developing effective interventions. Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers’ Lives describes DV as multi-faceted abuse, purposefully inflicted by perpetrators to undermine their victims’ sense of autonomy and self-determination and to coerce them into complete obedience. Rich descriptions emphasize the severity of harm and damage caused by coercive control and its impact on the emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and financial domains of victims’ lives. Fully understanding these domains is crucial; increased awareness is the first step towards achieving practice that deploys interventions devoted to full recovery for victims.
Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers’ Lives is unique from other victim narratives in highlighting children's relational agency and therefore places equal weight on both mothers’ and children's experiences and their journey to recovery. By recognizing children's agency, children are not portrayed as muted bystanders, passive recipients, or victims of parental practices who are “crying or hiding in a dark, shadowy room” with “teddy bears and dolls clasped for comfort” (p. 39). As the author asserts, child victims influence the world around them with their innate ability to generate intentional action and construct meaning from their experiences. Further, they engage in recovery efforts through mutual care and support in mother–child relationships and in sibling-to-sibling bonds. This innovative representation, supported by 15 real-life accounts, contributes to a powerful paradigm shift that offers a fresh direction for interventions, research practices, and policy implementation for mothers and children.
The book also takes a strength-based approach, viewing victims as resourceful individuals who can withstand adversity and start anew. While many previous studies have focused on deficiencies and harm experienced by victims to show the effectiveness of interventions, this work emphasizes the personal and relational strengths built into everyday life, as victims seek to triumph over their past and find freedom. Considering the traumatic experiences of victims, this strength-based approach seems appropriate and necessary as it helps victims recognize the agency and efficacy they possess, encouraging them to rebuild confidence that allows them to achieve healthier and more independent lives. Accordingly, this book is a valuable reference for those recovering from coercive and control-based DV.
This study's methodology centers upon professional ethics and children's competency. Guided by feminist scholarship and child-centered literature, the text details the researcher's efforts to prioritize the well-being of the participants using empathy, humility, and respectful communication. The researcher also tactfully shares her own shortcomings to minimize power differentials in the research relationship. The researcher's intentionality in establishing ethical relationships and her ability to engage in ongoing self-reflection portray her as a modest and caring individual whom the readers can trust.
Among the study's limitations are a small sample size and narrow demographics in relation to generalizability. However, because the author adopts a bi-directional parent–child relationship model and relational agency, these limitations seem to be mitigated. Many non-Western cultures are relationship-oriented, endorsing interdependence and mutuality in parent–child relationships, to varying degrees. Therefore, people from these cultural groups would find the study findings highly relevant and applicable to their cultural context. Similarly, the book repeatedly distinguishes between parentification/role reversal and a healthy, reciprocal relationship between child and mother, but some cultures may be more willing than others to accept, embrace, or reward role reversal that is based on reciprocity and cultural specificity.
As the author notes, coercive control is the most dangerous and harmful aspect of DV; thus, it requires heightened awareness on the part of both practitioners and victims/survivors. Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers’ Lives enables readers to see the heart of the matter, with remedies that require concerted societal efforts in addition to therapeutic interventions. Additionally, the author's framing of DV around women and children's strengths and agentic capabilities suggests new avenues of approach by allowing practitioners, researchers, and policy-makers to rethink old problems of DV with a reinvigorated perspective. Overall, this book advances understanding of DV by adding to existing practice perspectives. Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers’ Lives is an excellent addition to the extant literature on comprehending and addressing DV and abuse.
