Abstract
Much research details the psychological risks to individuals exposed as children to intimate partner violence (IPV). However, resilience has been a neglected area of study within this population. This article details adaptive responses in six participants exposed to IPV in childhood. Adult attachment interviews (AAI) and follow-up semi-structured interviews analyzed using an interpretive thematic analysis revealed common themes relating to psychological defenses and adaptive strategies. Despite exposure to IPV in childhood, these six women were found to have secure attachment states of mind. Resilience was found not to be necessarily synonymous with the absence of distress. Despite the presence of suffering, it remained strongly associated with adaptive, robust defenses to manage distress and to retain caregiving relationships with parents. These defenses appeared to provide participants with ways to survive their traumatic environments and to remain connected to needed but frightening caregiving figures, and facilitated processing of trauma. Adaptation often entailed using compliance and caregiving responses in childhood in response to role reversal in parent–child relationships, but also the relinquishing of these roles in adulthood. Participants’ abilities to coherently acknowledge and discuss their early experiences and retain compassion for their parents seemed linked to their abilities to attain some distance from troubling aspects of their pasts. In doing so, they separated from the unstable relationships of their parents, which fostered transitions to more integrated states of mind.
There is no doubt that violence between parents negatively affects many facets of children’s lives (Al-Modallal, 2016; Grasso et al., 2016). However, a variety of protective factors may exist that buffer exposure to this type of trauma. The literature on the effects of intimate partner violence (IPV) on children has tended to focus on the pathological sequelae (Anderson, 2010) and little has focused on those children who negotiate healthy outcomes as adults despite the trauma. The trajectory of this complex outcome for such adults therefore merits closer scrutiny.
The subject of demonstrated resilience after childhood trauma is often perceived as being a neglected area (Varvin & Rosenbaum, 2014). Within a pathology paradigm, resilience and restoration can be overshadowed. Resilience highlights context, positive affect, and the interpersonal domain, as well as the development of mental states that involve making contact with more benign internal representations and the revitalization of love (Hauser & Allen, 2004).
Resilience in itself is suggestive of recovery states and of beneficial adaptation despite exposure to trauma (Varvin & Rosenbaum, 2014). This does not mean that there is necessarily an absence of distress or suffering. On the contrary, recovery often entails a great deal of emotional pain, mourning, and letting go. Varvin and Rosenbaum (2014) described resilience as a process rather than an outcome, as a state of being where internal resources successfully combat psychic despair or depletion. What remains intriguing is how children exposed to traumatic experiences, such as incessant violence between parents, can make use of such resources to avoid or overcome states of depletion. What, in their resilient adaptation after trauma, enables transition into more benign internal representations of self and others and secure attachment (Hesse & Main, 1999) states of mind?
This article is concerned with demonstrated resilience in young adults who have been consistently exposed, through overhearing, witnessing, and direct experience, to IPV between their primary caregivers for an extensive number of years in childhood. Although various studies have addressed the impact of IPV on children and perhaps touched on the subject of resilience, this study offers a novel exploration of this resilience from an attachment theory perspective while focusing on adult survivors. This allows for a deepened understanding of the intrapsychic and interpersonal defensive strategies associated with secure attachment states of mind achieved despite trauma.
Contextualizing Development During Exposure to IPV
Most recent literature on negative outcomes for children from contexts of IPV traces the origins of pathology to the detrimental impact of the violence on the parents themselves and, consequently, on their abilities to parent (Grasso et al., 2016; Levesque & Chamberland, 2016). Internal representations of significant others, patterns of relating and mentalization are created within the intersubjectivity of the child–parent relationship (Fonagy, 2008; Slade, 1999). The child develops the capacity to represent mental states in the self and to recognize and represent mental states of others (Slade, 1999), thus enabling the development of emotional regulation capacities and the internalization of healthy patterns of relating. Opportunities for the development of robust mentalization capacities are often compromised in contexts of adversity (Dutton, 1995; Fonagy & Bateman, 2008) such as IPV.
Although generally accepted theories suggest that violence is socially learned and reinforced as a way of conflict resolution in relationships (Alexander et al., 1991; Black, Sussman, & Unger, 2010; Franklin, 2010), a study by Lohman et al. (2013) indicated that intergenerational transmission is influenced by the relationship between the parent and the child as the violence becomes internalized within the context of the attachment bond. Not only is the attachment relationship unable to buffer the child’s trauma but also the attachment bond itself becomes the source of disturbance. In contexts of exposure to violence, there is also a tendency in individuals to reenact patterns of relating in later attachments in adulthood (Al-Modallal, 2016; Penning & Collings, 2016). However, individuals may also manage to construct new internal representations of benevolence and, in some cases, to establish supportive intimate relationships in adulthood (Downey, 2001). This trajectory of development is seldom documented.
Defensive Adaptation
IPV contexts make considerable psychological demands upon children’s abilities to regulate fear, anger, and anxiety. To ensure physical and psychological survival, adaptation inevitably encompasses the emergence of particular defensive organizations (Cramer, 2000), which enable children to remain connected to their frightening/frightened caregivers (Hesse & Main, 1999) while circumventing psychic injury and retaining safety. Adaptation is a word that may potentially convey a sense of flexibility because it has been linked to the ability to resume mental health despite early hardship (Herrman et al., 2011).
Cramer (2000) and Juni (1997) conceived of defenses as protective inner resources capable of reducing anxiety, thus promoting a stable organization of self. Cramer (2000) usefully described defenses as existing along a continuum depicting less adaptive and immature defenses on the one end and more mature, robust defenses on the other. When considering resilience, however, defenses do need to be contemplated within a context of development, for instance, when traumatized individuals use immature defenses to maintain psychic equilibrium. The difficulty emerges when these defenses, which protect in one situation, become rigid patterns of internal organization (Cartwright, 2004). What may have been adaptive in childhood may sometimes become self-defeating in adulthood, if perpetuated and unrelinquished.
Method
For the purposes of this study, resilience was broadly defined as a generally “stable trajectory of healthy functioning after a highly adverse event” and that resilience exists “on a continuum that may be present to differing degrees across multiple domains of life” (Southwick, Bonanno, Masten, Panter-Brick, & Yehuda, 2014, p. 2). A secure attachment, despite IPV exposure in childhood, was deemed to reflect this kind of resilience. Attachment theory emphasizes the importance of human relatedness and integrates the intrapsychic and interpersonal dimensions of the individual within the relationship context (Calabrese et al., 2005; Fishler, Sperling, & Carr, 1990; Harris, 2011). For this reason, this theory appears well suited to the exploration of the defensive strategies utilized by children exposed to IPV who go on to demonstrate secure attachment states of mind in adulthood. Because attachment theory may tend to focus on more rigid demarcations between normal and abnormal development, crucial aspects of coping, resilience, and adaptation appear to have been overlooked. A need has been identified to move beyond “the monolithic use” of attachment research to something “more variable and nuanced” in thinking about the effects of early parent–child relating (Harris, 2011, p. 716). The intersection of exposure to trauma and resilience provides an opportunity to think more broadly about individuals exposed to childhood trauma and enables the identification of dynamics pertaining to adaptation and recovery which are vital to practice.
Therefore, an interpretive thematic analysis, which utilized the lens of attachment theory, was used to examine the intrapsychic and interpersonal defensive strategies used during childhood in six adult participants identified as demonstrating secure attachment states of mind. This was done with a view to understanding patterns of resilience and the ways in which defenses are used to facilitate ongoing recovery from family trauma. This approach provides far more detail about the experiences of participants than research which focuses on large numbers of respondents. More vivid insight into the personal living experiences of those who have been exposed to IPV in childhood and the ways in which they may have coped and understood their experiences is facilitated. This is crucial to understanding participants’ internal processes associated with (mal)adaptation (Hauser, Golden, & Allen, 2006).
Participants
In-depth interviews were conducted with a sample of female university student participants ranging in age between 20 and 25 years. All participants were required to have lived with parents or stepparents involved in IPV for extended periods during their childhoods. The study focus on resilience was made clear and posters around the School of Human and Community Development, at the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, specifically requested volunteers who considered themselves as resilient. Seven participants in all made contact with one of the researchers. The six participants who were coded as demonstrating secure attachment states of mind made up the sample for this study, as their secure attachment classifications demonstrated resilience in the context of childhood exposure to ongoing violence. The participant excluded from the study was coded as insecurely attached and demonstrated ongoing involving anger and preoccupation with her parents. Notably, this was the only participant who was currently still living with her parents. The fact that all the participants were university students with an interest in the field of human and community development, who had completed at least 2 years of study, also suggests resilience and a sense that these individuals were not without options (Anderson, 2010). Each participant volunteered for the study and was interviewed twice.
Instruments and Procedure
The adult attachment interview (AAI)
The AAI (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1996) was conducted in the first interview with each participant. 1 The AAI explores attachment representations through questions which when scored yield an attachment classification based on the adult’s state of mind relating to childhood relationships with caregivers. This attachment classification is deemed predictive of behavior within the adult’s current relationships (Borelli et al., 2012). The interview is made up of 20 questions, the answers to which are rated along different scales, and takes approximately an hour to an hour-and-a-half to administer. It begins with a generalized description of the participant’s family, followed by the choice of five words or phrases characterizing these relationships. Interviewees are then asked to provide examples for their chosen descriptors. They are then asked some questions around illness, emotionally upsetting events, rejection, separation, and loss (Gullestad, 2003), all of which are events during childhood that would be expected to activate the attachment system and internal working models of caregivers. Coding for the AAI results in the assignment of a predominant attachment state of mind category, which may be accompanied by an unresolved/disorganized signifier in cases where traumatic abuse or loss has not yet been fully resolved.
Adults with the classification secure (F) have been found to give open, coherent, and consistent accounts of their positive and negative childhood memories (Buchheim & Kächele, 2003). Within secure attachment, there are five subcategories, which indicate some presence of dismissing or preoccupied attachment state of mind characteristics that do not warrant the assignment of an insecure attachment state of mind classification. Although the F3 category is considered to be the prototype secure classification, F1 and F2 classifications usually contain some dismissing elements, and F4 and F5 containing some preoccupied features; however, these insecure features do not predominate. The dismissing category of attachment (D) is identified in incoherent accounts and gaps in memory, brief responses lacking in detail, and the presence of idealization (Buchheim & Kächele, 2003; Hesse, 2008). Adults with the classification preoccupied (E) tend to recount their childhood experiences in angry, passive, or fearful ways, which give the impression of enmeshment, confusion, and vagueness (Buchheim & Kächele, 2003; Hesse, 2008). The signifier unresolved/disorganized (u/d) indicates attachment states where experiences of trauma and loss, when recalled, continue to disorganize thinking and coherence of the narrative when traumas or losses are discussed. A u/d classification is assigned alongside the classification that represents the individual’s predominant attachment state of mind.
Follow-up semi-structured interviews
The second interview took place approximately one week later. Participants were interviewed by the same interviewer, in a less structured manner. The interviewer tracked the participant as themes emerged during the conversation (Cartwright, 2004). Participants were asked to reflect on how they had experienced the first interview and anything else that may have emerged in their thinking about their experiences since the interviews. Questions or prompts were framed around the interviewee’s previous response (Cartwright, 2004). All interviews were video-recorded to capture both verbal and nonverbal communications.
Data Analysis
The AAIs were transcribed and then coded by an accredited AAI coder. Narratives were scored for the presence of several indictors (Grice, 1975; Hesse, 1996, 2008) such as coherence of transcript and mind, which were assessed according to Grice’s (1975) norms for coherent discourse regarding quantity, quality, manner, and relevance. A coherent transcript would demonstrate evidence of consistency and congruence with examples given. Lack of memory, was also noted, which relates to a speaker’s insistence on a lack of recall of events of childhood which may lead to a lack of support for positive experiences that may have been cited. This is often a violation of Grice’s maxims of quality and quantity. dIealization of parents involved the participant’s inability to substantiate adjectives of the parents with corresponding examples of demonstrated characteristics. Lapses in discourse and/or reasoning during discussion of potentially traumatic events and loss (Buchheim & Kächele, 2003) were also noted. This included unconscious indications of a simultaneous belief that a dead person was dead and not dead (Hesse, 2008). Unexplained lengthy pauses during discourse, slips into the present as well as highly detailed information about specific traumatic events (Hesse, 2008) were also noted.
An interpretive thematic analysis, utilizing an attachment theory informed framework (Braun & Clarke, 2013; Joffe, 2011), was then conducted on both the AAI and semi-structured follow-up interviews. Familiarization with the raw data comprising the verbatim transcription of the interviews as well as the video recordings of these interviews (Pope, Ziebland, & Mays, 2000) preceded a search for core narratives, that provide a particular snapshot of a scene that relates to the topic of the interview, and the identification of defensive processes (Cartwright, 2004). Themes were identified based on corroborative evidence found elsewhere in the text (Braun & Clarke, 2013), including the AAI. The validation of results was achieved through the triangulation and cross-checking of information and conclusions by the two researchers. The aim was not to search for historical truth but for assigned meaning. Themes relating to defensive and adaptive strategies utilized by participants are presented here.
Ethical Considerations
Ethical clearance to conduct the study was obtained from the Human Research Ethics Committee of the University of the Witwatersrand. Potential participants who volunteered for the study were prepared beforehand for the sensitive nature of the research through either telephonic contact or email as per their choice. If a participant chose to be a part of the study, they were then provided with an appointment date and time for a meeting. After full discussion of the purpose of the study and the methods to be used, a consent form was provided for participants to sign. Written informed consent for the video-recording of interviews was also sought. All names and potentially identifying details have been changed to protect participants’ rights to confidentiality. Access to counseling services was arranged, if required, for any participants.
Results
The following outlines the various attachment classifications received. It should be noted that it is common for AAI transcripts to feature combinations of secure, dismissing, and preoccupied features; however, the overall classification is based on the predominant features in the transcript. All six participants’ AAI transcripts were coded as demonstrating overall secure attachment states of mind. However, there was variance within the secure category, as seen in Table 1, with certain participants exhibiting more dismissing features and others exhibiting more preoccupied features within their overall secure attachments. Two of the participants were coded as u/d with respect to trauma, with underlying secure states of mind with respect to attachment.
Participant Attachment State of Mind Classifications.
Note. F = secure; u/d = unresolved/disorganized.
Pseudonyms.
The F2 and F1a categories describe securely attached state of minds with some dismissing features. Hannah, Ilsa, Leigh-Ann, and Lerato all obtained classifications that fall along the dismissing end of the secure attachment continuum. Although elements of dismissing states of minds were present in these transcripts, such as some initial setting aside or minimizing of attachment needs, some mild idealization of one or both parents, some mild “lack of memory” for events, ultimately, this stance was not maintained, as they were able to acknowledge difficulties experienced in their relationships with parents and the effects their experiences had on them. The other two participants’ (Jane’s and Annie’s) transcripts were classified as F4b, which denotes a secure attachment style expressed in the valuing of relationships, but with some usually angry preoccupation with attachment figures and also with past traumatic events with parents. This mild preoccupation, however, did not disrupt the coherence of their narratives, signaling more secure attachment states of mind.
One of the participants, Annie, can be considered to be an earned secure attachment. These are individuals who receive a major classification of secure-autonomous on the AAI but receive scores of 3 or below on both the mother and father loving scales (Hesse, 2008; Saunders, Jacobvitz, Zaccagnino, Beverung, & Hazen, 2011).The other participants had continuous secure attachments, meaning that their attachment security likely stems from sufficiently secure attachment experiences with at least one parent, and often an alternative attachment figure growing up. Annie’s secure attachment appears to have been earned through participation in long-term psychotherapy through adolescence into adulthood.
Overall coherence of speech and mind were maintained throughout all the texts. Although there was a demonstrated ease with the topics of discussion and few examples of violation of quantity (Hesse, 1996, 2008), the mild dismissing and preoccupied features suggest the activation of various defensive strategies used by these women to survive their traumatic early environments. The following outlines the patterns of defensive strategies utilized by the participants.
Idealization
Although idealization as a defense involves the repression of negative emotion, the ability to acknowledge both the good and bad in loved others represents healthier psychological functioning (Klein, 1937). Speakers who are securely attached with some dismissing features typically express some idealization of both or one of the parents (Hesse, 2008; Roisman, Fraley, & Belsky, 2007). This was evident in their occasional use of positive descriptors for relationships with parents, but with little episodic memory to back these up.
Hannah’s initial, mild idealization of her father was depicted in her choice of words to describe him, “fun-loving,” “open-minded,” “friendly,” “accommodating,” and “warm,” and her failure to provide experiential evidence for all of these descriptors. This initial idealization was not maintained in the interview, however, and as the interview progressed, an image of her father emerged as an emotionally distant figure in her childhood, providing for her physical needs and supplying possessions. Hannah was very aware of the different sides of her father, perceiving him as a caring, safe father with her and a violent, dangerous man with her mother: . . . my mom would say things and talk about him and I would overhear her telling my aunt, but to me that side of him was never revealed. When I actually saw him beat up my mom, it was still quite scary but I didn’t really . . . I wasn’t afraid of him I felt quite safe around him . . .
Lerato’s description of her mother as a strong woman who was very loving and very caring was not substantiated fully either and was based on vague examples which did not clearly portray such behavior. However, this idealization was also not sustained and she later provided a balanced and realistic depiction of her mother: . . . I think . . . I think my mom and I are very close now because I am finally mature enough to understand what goes . . . what goes through her mind . . . and I think it was very important to . . . to break down that whole perception of like absolute strength because now I can accept her as a human being instead of this, um . . . this person I perceived as very, absolutely strong, I . . .
Avoidance
Avoidance of memories, emotions, and interpersonal intimacy as a strategy to manage attachment needs was fairly common among the participants. Many of the participants presented initially as interpersonally guarded. Researcher clinical impressions of Ilsa, Hannah, and Leigh-Ann included statements such as “serious, yet engaging and contained”; “very guarded and almost insular”; “minor avoidance of certain affectively laden topics”; and “a rather careful, socially vigilant individual who perhaps monitors the responses of others to assess emotional safety, or lack thereof, of her environment.” Avoidance as a defensive strategy emerged in a number of ways throughout the interviews, namely, a claimed lack of memory for events, the use of physical and emotional distancing, and somatizing.
Lack of memory
Initially, Lerato maintained that she had little memory of her childhood, a prominent feature of F1a speakers, but this was evidenced to be more a part of her conscious setting aside of troubling memories and most often in relation to her ability to recall her own emotions as a child: “I still saw her [mother] as a very strong woman and it was just I don’t know maybe it was just information to me, I don’t remember how I felt about her confiding in me.” This lack of memory was not maintained as the interview progressed.
Physical distancing
Another feature of the narratives of those assigned secure classifications with dismissing features was deliberate attempts to move away from harsh past experiences with caregivers. These participants had done this through moving out of the home, spending time with other attachment figures, and, in two cases, cutting ties with their abusive fathers. Although residence facilities at University seemed to provide physical and psychic space for Hannah where she could engage her sense of control over her lifestyle and environment, both Ilse and Lerato had ended their relationships with their fathers and no longer had any contact with them. In both these cases, this was facilitated by a breakdown in the parental relationships. For Leigh-Ann, this was different, as her father had committed suicide in prison while awaiting trial for her mother’s murder. The distance that these women obtained through physical separation seemed to have allowed for a reprieve from anxiety associated with their fathers and space for reevaluation and redirection of their lives through an active escape from unpredictable family environments: . . . since I’ve moved out and I don’t see or speak to my father anymore, not as much so uh . . . I moved out when I was 19, I haven’t spoken to my dad at all in the last month, but before that I hardly spoke to him, ja it’s definitely decreased [the panic attacks, anxiety and depression] the further I am away from all of that. (Ilsa)
Emotional distancing
Some dismissing elements in the setting aside of concerns related to attachment were noted, which substantiated the classification of F1a (for two participants) and suggested a conscious setting aside of problematic attachment experiences. For example, when asked specifically about childhood experiences with her parents, Ilsa stated, “uhm . . . I don’t know, I like to kill that sort of stuff.” Leigh-Ann’s comment on her past experiences of IPV between her parents also suggested emotional distancing: Honestly I don’t really think about it . . . I actually think it made me stronger . . . um and it . . . it gave me . . . how can I put this? . . . yeah it just . . . it it . . . it really made my personality stronger and it . . . kind of gave me a better appreciation for my life because not everybody has the opportunity to go through all of this and still end up in tertiary, studying towards a degree.
Some of the avoidance evident in the transcripts was related to the minimizing of negative experiences. Leigh-Ann’s comment above is an example of a “positive wrap up,” where a negative event is then reflected about positively in an attempt to minimize contact with painful affect associated with the event.
Participants also reported deliberately shifting their attention away from distressing experiences to a more pleasant area of focus. This was most pronounced in Hannah and Lerato who represented it in the following way: . . . so I remember when I was growing up and I learned to read, I used to read a lot so I’d read fantasy books and hmm, ja, I would read anything that I would pick up and I used to read quite a lot because I was always in the house, there was not really anything I could do so as soon as I knew how to read I got books and I used to read all the time to myself and I really enjoyed that, that’s what kept me busy most of the time. (Hannah) . . . I literally used to live in my own mind like I’d be around people but I’d just be you know I’m living in my own mind so . . . (Lerato)
Crittenden (1999) interestingly pointed out how children exhibiting avoidant attachment often tend to engage in imaginative involvement in activities such as reading to circumvent parental anger and avoid parental hostility, as may have been the situation with Hannah and Lerato.
Somatizing
Somatic symptoms were often evident in developed illnesses in childhood or adolescence which seemed to be a perpetuated means of attaining caregiving from their mothers in particular. Annie confessed to welcoming states of illness to acquire attention from her mother. Hannah related incidents of her stomach being “tied up in knots” when her parents argued and fought physically. Somatizing was also notable in Ilsa’s case: . . . because I was always being told different things, like I never knew what to think or what was really going on, so like I didn’t know are they getting divorced, are they not getting divorced. Okay this week they’re not getting divorced, tomorrow maybe they are getting divorced, like it kept this whole . . . like I had huge muscle tension issues because I was always so tense waiting for something to happen or for them to start fighting again . . .
Lerato experienced a significant period of illness in adolescence and she exhibited a prominent stutter which became increasingly pronounced as she related incidents of violence inflicted on her mother by her stepfather.
Adoption of Caretaking Roles
Many of the transcripts contained evidence of role reversal in parent–child relationships, where it was clear that participants had needed to set aside their own distress as children (and adults) and pay attention to the feelings of their parents. This was evident in participants’ comments about having to predict their fathers’ moods: “It was horrible and my dad being the way that he was he would come home and you never knew whether he would be in a good mood or a bad mood . . .” (Ilsa). Comments about having to console their mothers were common. At these times, it was clear that the parents were not available to attend to the emotions their children may have been experiencing. Hannah commented, “My mom she would be crying half the time and I wouldn’t know what to do.” This highlighted the feelings of helplessness that can be elicited in children when faced with adult emotional dysregulation. Role reversal continued into Hannah’s adult relationship with her mother: “I can’t really tell her about my stuff but she’s always offloading on me ’cos there is much more happening in her life . . .” (Hannah).
Role reversing behavior was also evident in instances of parents using their children as confidantes or messengers: “. . . even when my mom would threaten him with divorce he would tell me about it and he would cry and tell me to go speak to my mom and try to convince her otherwise . . .” (Hannah).
One time I was just sitting with my mom and I think I was about four and I asked if they were going to get a divorce and she kind of used me I felt in a way because she was like go tell your dad . . . (Annie)
Throughout Ilsa’s script, there were also various examples of intense and persistent role-reversing behavior on the part of both parents with clear attempts by the parents to involve their young daughter in their discord: My mom always used to tell me things that she probably shouldn’t have, she used to come and ask me questions, even when I was young like 7 and 8 years old, she used to be like: “oh, do you think dad and I should get divorced?.” This is wrong and she’d come into my room and say “oh dad’s doing this and don’t believe whatever he says when he comes in” and . . . so she was kind of . . . I think both my parents lack boundaries in different areas, so I don’t feel like I was ever treated as a child. (Ilsa)
Examples of role-reversing behaviors with both parents were also evident within the context of participants attempting to protect their mothers and, at times, their siblings from the domestic violence: I used to try and stop him, I used to say “daddy, please don’t do it to mommy” and he’d just push me aside and carry on and then I’d just take my sister and my brother . . . I’d take them to my room and I’d close the door. (Leigh-Ann) . . . and then I remember my mom . . . tried . . . we got in the car and we were going to go to a hotel and my sister was a baby in nappies at the time . . . she had left my sister there with my dad because . . . I guess because all the nappy gathering, all that stuff . . . she just wanted to leave quickly and my dad was standing in the door of the kitchen while we were driving . . . but I couldn’t watch my sis . . . I couldn’t leave my sister, so I made my mom get out and go fetch her . . . (Annie)
These role-reversing experiences that appeared to have been prominent throughout their childhoods facilitated the development of caregiving roles in relation to their parents but required adaptation in their later establishment of intimate relationships in adulthood. Many of the participants reflected on having to consciously allow partners to take care of them at times.
Unresolved/Disorganized Features
Leigh-Ann was assigned a u/d classification in addition to her underlying secure attachment state of mind. In childhood, she was exposed to harsh, unpredictable incidents of IPV on a weekly basis which eventually claimed her mother’s life and culminated in her father’s suicide while he was incarcerated, awaiting sentencing. There was also a history of further traumatic loss with the accidental death of a guardian followed by the suicide of a close friend. Her u/d classification was assigned due to lapses in the monitoring of discourse during the discussion of traumatic events (Hesse, 2008; Hesse & Main, 2006): “I felt really sick at that point ’cos I didn’t . . . I was torn between my mother and my father, my mother being protected because my father threatened her . . . and then nothing.” The sudden, unusual ending to Leigh-Ann’s discussion of this incident suggests traumatic interference with the coherence of the narrative.
When Leigh-Ann was relating the loss of her mother, she demonstrated unusual attention to detail as well as linguistic disorganization (Borelli et al., 2012; Hesse, 2008) that were not found in other parts of her narrative: I do, um . . . I won’t forget, it was . . . I think it was . . . yeah it was just after Spring so like toward Summer, and I was in class, we were making finger . . . what do you call them? Peacocks, finger peacocks for Art and my teacher asked me could I please stay while the class went to music so I said okay but she didn’t tell me, she didn’t give me a reason she just said she wants to speak to me so I started sweeping ’cos it was Art and cleaning the classroom so long . . .
A further indication of disorganization in her thinking around the loss of her mother was a particular lapse in reasoning described by Hesse (2008) as indicating a deceased person is believed simultaneously dead and not dead in the physical sense. This is often suggestive of entrance into partially dissociated states of mind that are temporary but that may affect the overall coherence of mind displayed in the script of the speaker (Hesse, 1996). Leigh-Ann stated, “. . . because when my mother passed away she . . . she said that she wanted us to be with her parents.” According to Hesse and Main (2006), linguistic slips indicating that a dead person is alive are usually brief and made by high-functioning individuals during the constant questioning about loss found in the AAI.
Annie was the second participant who was assigned a u/d classification in addition to a secure attachment state of mind. Annie had witnessed and experienced persistent violence perpetrated on her mother by her father on an almost daily basis. The greater part of her childhood had therefore been spent attempting to protect her mother from assaults by placing herself between her parents, thus incurring injuries inflicted on her person by her father. Therefore, she not only witnessed traumatic incidents but also experienced these directly which appeared to have intensified her trauma. Her u/d classification was assigned due to her reporting an extreme behavioral reaction to trauma, namely, depression and the development of an eating disorder (Bulimia nervosa).
I think the hardest one for me was when I was suffering with depression and an eating disorder and she [mother] would try and . . . she didn’t . . . it made my dad very angry that I was experiencing any problems and he blamed her so she would try make everything better. (Annie)
Annie also reported incidents of posttraumatic stress symptoms such as nightmares experienced during school camps. Annie had since attended 10 years of psychotherapy and had resolved both her depression and eating disorder. She was also in a relationship with a man who appeared to be a supportive, containing figure in her life.
Although both these participants were assigned u/d classifications, their underlying F classifications can be regarded as protective factors. Individuals with secure attachment states of mind who demonstrate unresolved reactions to trauma are more likely to be able to overcome the impact of the trauma (Schuengel, Bakermans-Kranenburg, van IJzendoorn, & Blom, 1999). Resilience, therefore, appears to be more connected to the management of traumatic symptoms rather than to the absence of such.
It could be argued that these two participants’ u/d classifications render the participants as exhibiting pathology and, thus, not resilient. However, the decision was made to include these two participants based on the definition of resilience used in the study, namely, “a stable trajectory of healthy functioning after a highly adverse event” and that resilience “exists on a continuum that may be present to differing degrees across multiple domains of life” (Southwick et al., 2014, p. 2). Annie’s classification was based on pathology during her adolescence that had been subsequently resolved. Leigh-Ann’s u/d classification was based on evidence that the loss of her mother had not been fully resolved. Despite her current healthy functioning, risk has been established with regard to the development of disorganized attachment in the infants of mothers with u/d classifications on their AAIs (Target, Fonagy, & Shmueli-Goetz, 2003). However, because Leigh-Ann does not have any children and the fact that this transmission of attachment disorganization is not guaranteed, with studies finding that unresolved (u/d) classification on the AAI does not always predict child insecurity (Target et al., 2003), the decision was made to keep her in the pool of participants.
Secure Attachment Features
Many of these speakers’ early childhood environments were marked by accessibility to alternative attachment substitutes. These may have paved the foundation for these women to internalize a sense of being cared for, a valuing of attachment, and the ability to develop greater coherence. Grice’s maxims of quality and quantity were predominantly maintained throughout, with adequate evidence given for most assertions and clear and ordered discourse (Grice, 1975; Hesse, 1996, 2008). Their narratives exhibited a number of features that seem to have enabled them to make sense of their experiences and maintain healthy connections to others. These were an ability to acknowledge the effects of their experiences on themselves and a sense of balance and compassion.
Acknowledgment of effects of experiences on the self
Many of the participants were able to acknowledge their deep discomfort with feelings of anger and with potential conflict, as well as their tendencies toward guardedness and avoidance of intimacy. Hannah stated, “I think it comes up in the fact that I don’t even like confrontation, when someone does something to me personally I would rather just avoid the person instead of being in conflict with them . . .” Ilse acknowledged her tendency to withdraw as follows: “. . . [I] probably just closed off even more, like I would never go and tell friends or family or anyone, it was more of withdrawal than anything else . . .” and “. . . hmm, I felt alone often and a lot.” Jane clearly related her realization of the effects that her early experiences had upon her own present state of mind and demonstrated ease when discussing her imperfections (Borelli et al., 2012; Hesse, 2008): Um . . . my experiences with my parents, I suppose they have made me quite um . . . wary of certain things really wary of anything sort of physical . . . abuse or any sort of um . . . you know what I’m more wary of? Is poor communication and that’s why I make such a point of doing it with my friends with people around me, I make sure I communicate properly, maybe even verbosely it’s because I’ve always understood that that was the root of what was going on, was that things weren’t spoken about . . . it made me very anti-abuse for my girl. (Jane)
Leigh-Ann also acknowledged imperfections in herself and the effects of her experiences on her sense of self (Hesse, 2008): “I think just my short temperedness, I’m very short tempered.” Lerato commented on how her early experiences had affected her perception of others and her lack of trust in a world which she had perhaps found to be dangerous and rejecting: “I think I’m very morbid and very untrusting . . . I used to be worse though, and it, it has it has improved, has become less morbid less untrusting.” Annie also demonstrated that she was well aware of the effects of her upbringing upon herself and her relationships: I mean I even experience it with my dogs, I get separation anxiety, um . . . but I’d just be very aware of how damaging it was for me with my mom and her anxiety um, but she, she was very aware of how damaging her mom was to her with her anxiety and still she wasn’t able to you know prevent that with her relationship with me, so I do worry that it’s something I’m just not even going to be aware of that I’m acting like my mom with my child. (Annie)
Hannah was also able to acknowledge the effects of the trauma she had experienced and how these continued to affect her perception of romantic attachments: I think it, it has somewhat, distorted I would say, my view of just relationships, so I find that I’m quite . . . I’m not really violent myself but I, I have no tolerance for someone who beats up a woman and I usually defend myself, not physically though, but I always say that I will never let anyone beat me up or anything like that . . .
Most of the participants acknowledged that experiences with their parents had made them less trusting of others, avoidant of conflict and more defensive when engaging with the world.
I think I think my perception of the world is kind of tainted by that [IPV] and my, my faith in humanity isn’t as high as it could be. Yeah. (Lerato) I never fully trusted anybody, you know I’m not gonna get close to you if I don’t trust you . . . (Jane)
Participants were aware that they had an effect upon their context but they were also able to identify situations that could not be changed and that were beyond their control. They were reflective of their experiences and seeking new ones, which is an indication of resilient processes in the restoration of a sense of agency in choice.
Balance and compassion
The participants all expressed compassion and forgiveness for their parents and a valuing of their relationships with them. They were able to contextualize their parents’ behavior without condoning it. When describing her stepfather, Lerato demonstrated balance in contextualizing his flaws and failure as a caregiver: “His [step-father] parents were . . . well his dad was basically what he became, his dad was also abusive to his mother . . .” Jane also demonstrated a sense of balance when discussing difficult aspects of her early attachments including how these have affected her and she demonstrated forgiveness for her parents, contextualizing their experiences as a couple (Hesse, 2008): I think it was a bit of a this is not how we wanted life to be, like they were young, they were fooling around, and they fell pregnant and they were almost prematurely accelerated into a state of life that they weren’t ready for and then when . . . so they . . . so you get over that and then about 5 years down the line you think to yourself flip, this is actually not what I want, like I don’t . . . I wish that I finished varsity I wish that I was in a different career I wish that my life wasn’t . . . and so they were just frustrated in their own circles, they probably weren’t even compatible relationally if I could say that really. (Jane)
Leigh-Ann demonstrated compassion and forgiveness for her father. She expressed strong feelings of sadness at hearing of his suicide in prison.
It was, it was really painful because um . . . I’d forgiven my father in my heart and I was . . . even though I was so young, I was programming my mind to . . . later build up a better relationship with him even if he was found guilty of murder, at least he would have served his time and when he gotten out we would have still been able to have some kind of relationship . . . I feel sad for him, because he didn’t have to do that . . . (Leigh-Ann)
The participants also demonstrated the ability to acknowledge the times their parents were available and the times when their parents had tried to protect them as children from the domestic violence.
I think mainly just from when I was younger uh . . . a lot of home videos I’ve seen she [mother] put in a lot of effort just to being with me, we were together 24/7 from the age . . . until I was two, um and I know I started speaking very early because she talked to me so much. (Annie) Ja . . . my mom made those kind of decisions for us in the past and when there was a restraining order he [father] wasn’t allowed in the house for a while and stuff like that . . . so to be able to sort of make that decision on my own and for it to be the same decision that my mom had made sort of . . . that she made the right decision then it’s um . . . it’s tough but it’s good at the same time. (Ilsa)
Reflections such as these appeared to allow for perspective taking and for the development of a sense of hope and a more positive outlook, both of which are associated with resilience (Walsh, 2003; Zautra, 2003).
The use of attachment substitutes
Both Ainsworth (1985) and Bowlby (1982) proposed that a history of insecure attachments predisposes a child to search for substitute attachment figures to find the security that they could not attain with their own parents. This was evidenced in this study as attachment surrogates featured prominently in participants’ narratives. These substitute figures often provided a secure base in childhood and adulthood, likely allowing the individuals in this study to explore and reassess their internal working models. These caring relationships assisted in the creation of meaning, reduced suffering, and helped make sense of the world (Heath, 2011). Protective surrogates in participants’ childhoods tended to be family members such as grandmothers and aunts or an older sibling. In adulthood, a supportive function was usually performed by a partner, a strong friendship, or a therapist. All of the participants had attended psychotherapy, with the exception of Leigh-Ann.
In Jane’s case, her grandmother became the replacement figure who was perceived as accessible and as providing what Lieberman, Padrón, Van Horn, and Harris (2005) termed as unconditional care and she was able to distinguish between a mother figure who was available and one who was not: So my mom you know I suppose it’s hard for her, because she always had this great competitor in the eyes of your mother-in-law, so I would always choose my granny over her [mother] which I suppose now is really sad ’cos I have my own kid and that would kill me if my daughter did that . . .
Hannah was also able to seek comfort from her grandmother and aunt, whereas Leigh-Ann maintained close relationships with extended family members such as aunts and uncles directly related to her mother. Ilsa had a positive relationship with her grandmother and with a friend’s family with whom she moved in for a period of time when she was 16 years old. Lerato remembered relying upon her older brother as the “only one” she was ever sure of. Annie, however, experienced difficulty in finding alternative attachment figures in the home and found mother substitutes in teachers and therapists, something she acknowledged as still prevailing in her adult years: I think yeah I’m just so focused on the people . . . the immediate people around me, like mothers and whatever I can’t really um . . . you know there are a lot of people but they’re all mother substitutes.
She appeared, however, to have created a safe space with her long-term therapist with whom she was able to discuss her stress, anxiety, and fear. In addition, for Annie, a safe romantic relationship had created an opportunity for the receiving of caregiving from a supportive male, something she had not experienced before and which she battled to fully accept: . . . yeah I want to feel looked after, it’s difficult though because I’ve never felt that from a male, so I don’t know how I would feel if . . . I mean he does try look after me but I guess I just . . . I don’t completely create situations where he can.
Discussion
Participants in this study were exposed to psychological distress on two levels: that of direct exposure to cumulative trauma, and the complications with attachment that arose from the parents’ backgrounds and current violent relationships. These complications often meant that, as children, their exposure to trauma was not buffered because parents were unavailable. The further complication that arose was that the caregiving system was also the source of disturbance for the child when violence took place or when parents demanded caregiving from them instead. Bowlby (1988) posited that traumatized children tended to develop multiple contradictory internal models of attachment. Main and Hesse (1990) found that often this was expressed in incoherence of narrative. Despite their experiences of violence within the parental couple, the women in this study demonstrated moderate to high coherence in their narratives of their attachment experiences in childhood and in adulthood. Coherence as classified by the AAI involves the capacity to think about one’s own thoughts and to represent feelings, memories, and experiences specifically related to attachment without the need to deny or distort them (Slade et al., 2005; Slade, 1999). Adults who have the capacity to reflect on their own experiences in childhood tend to be more psychologically secure than those who cannot, even when their experiences of trauma are more distressing (Seligman, 2007).
Fonagy and Target (1997) extended this concept of coherence to also include the individual’s capacity for mentalization or ability to not only reflect on their own internal experience but also to recognize and represent that of others. They maintained that this may only be achieved within the context of a secure attachment relationship. The question is how can clearly traumatized children exhibit later coherence of mind and moderate stability of internal representations as expected in secure attachment states of mind? Slade et al. (2005) made available the possibility that parents who are functioning from insecure attachment states of mind, as would be presumed in the context of IPV, may nevertheless, demonstrate reflective functioning and adequate caregiving at times, which contributes toward their children’s developed security of attachment. Many of the participants in this study were able to reflect on positive experiences with their parents where, at times, they were experienced as emotionally available. Many of the participants also reported significant relationships in childhood with attachment substitutes, which facilitated attachment security. Individuals with histories of abuse in childhood, who experienced a close relationship with a nonabusive adult, have been shown to be able to discontinue patterns of trauma and provide adequate care for their children (Egeland, Jacobvitz, & Sroufe, 1988). Participation in therapy for at least 2 years was found to have a similar effect (Egeland et al., 1988).
The participants in this study used a variety of adaptive defensive strategies not only against the trauma they experienced, but which also served to maintain their proximity to their caregivers and avoid maltreatment as much as possible. The need to seek protection from a potentially frightening and rejecting parent creates intrapsychic conflict. Therefore, “what are usually interpreted as maladaptive attachment strategies may, under some conditions, be beneficial for survival of an individual” (Ein-Dor, Mikulincer, Doron, & Shaver, 2010, p. 124). A number of strategies to avoid troubling affect and memories were identified. These ranged from somatization, where pain was felt in the body, to more cognitive ways of self-protection such as imaginative involvement and thought suppression. Because experiences of trauma and loss could be held in mind and were discussed at different stages during the interviews, this suggests that such mechanisms of suppression seemed to have been more conscious than unconscious, as thought suppression was often used as a retreat from unthinkable experiences but not as a concealment of such. Conscious control was maintained and the disconnection from painful affect and memories seemed to be deliberate and volitional, representing a resilient use of the mind to manage trauma. This was also evident in the participants’ use of imaginative involvement (Bowins, 2004), where participants reported deliberately shifting their attention away from distressing experience to a more pleasant thoughts.
When extreme, such avoidance of reality can be a form of pathological isolation against terrifying anxiety and depression (Colombi, 2010; Steiner, 1993). However, Winnicott (1953) suggested that illusional experience is a natural part of the developmental process, aiding transition to realization where imagination and reality coincide. These participants appear to have been able to use temporary retreats to gain relief and “re-group,” without the need for rigid denial of trauma.
Although somatization may be considered a less mature defense, in these cases, it served as a request for closeness and care as identified by Sroufe et al. (1999). The psychological experience of anxiety and fear appears to have found expression as bodily symptoms which would have been experienced as evidence of the reality of the danger experienced (Bowins, 2004). These illnesses may have provided credence to participants’ sense of vulnerability and mental anguish, providing opportunities for instrumental caregiving to be received from parents who were otherwise experienced as disengaged or eliciting care from their children instead. This defense was not perpetuated by participants. In adulthood, they appeared to have found other ways of receiving the caregiving for which they yearned, such as establishing intimate relationships with partners and developing close friendships.
The adoption of compliance and caregiving roles appear to have been used defensively by participants as self-protective strategies, when hostility from parents was to be avoided and proximity maintained (Crittenden, 1999, 2005). These ways of reacting ensured that the connection to parents was maintained and that abandonment and rejection were avoided. This suggests adaptation in their ability to preempt parental requirements and to respond accordingly to avoid further trauma and loss in childhood. Such states of vigilance, however, tended to decrease their tolerance for new experiences and exploration; hence, their demeanor presented as initially cautious and wary. They were all essentially adaptable and helpful children who developed into adults who demonstrate an aversion to conflict and sensitivity to the needs of others.
Crittenden (1999) observed that adaptation in this sense is the promotion of safety and not necessarily of security. In adulthood, she points out that security does not necessarily require a supportive, nondangerous environment in childhood. Many children are also able to organize internal states and provide meaning to their experiences while protecting themselves. There are interplays between maturation and experience which may originate new internal organizations (Crittenden, 1999; Downey, 2001). Crittenden (1999) suggested that with maturation, the individual’s mind becomes “capable of making new distinctions, new integrations” (p. 169) and therefore to restructure behavior. This was markedly present in this study as interactions between internal resources of participants (such as intelligence—they were all university students) and new relationships promoted internal organization and the search for meaning. Participants were coherent and also able to reflect on their parents’ possible mental states and on their motivations for behavior. All participants indicated a lack of identification with the violent relationship of their parents and communicated a strong desire for something different. Their ability to accurately allocate responsibility for specific events and for reflecting on the effects of those events upon themselves was manifest. This appears to have been made possible through the participants’ capacities to use attachment substitutes, to find ways to separate and individuate from their home circumstances, and through their abilities to acknowledge and use memories of parental benevolence.
Downey (2001) suggested that the presence of a benevolent and “interpreting” other may very well cultivate a move toward beneficial change in traumatized individuals. This occurred through the participants’ use of alternative attachments. Through these relationships, it appears that the more difficult experiences of childhood could be processed and assigned meaning. For most, these alternative attachments provided security in childhood. For one of the participants, earned security was achieved through long-term psychotherapy through adolescence into adulthood. Fonagy (1999) reported that studies of resilient children suggest that even a single secure relationship may be sufficient for the development of reflective processes relating to the ability to attribute cognitive or emotional states to others. Through the use of experiences with attachment substitutes (Lindbom-Jakobson & Lindgren, 2001), participants seemed better able to engage in such reflection, avoiding assigning the blame for their parents’ behavior to themselves. It is therefore significant that security in attachments is not only linked to positive models of self or relationship with parents but also includes the capacity for internal organization of emotion and thought around attachment experiences with others (Allen & Miga, 2010).
Periods of separation and attempting to disengage from parents were present in adolescence as well as in adulthood, making space for mental processing of trauma and new, safer relationships. This was often a process of transition for individuals and not always easy but often fraught with inner conflict and some anxiety. These participants did not remain enmeshed with their parents and were able to attain some physical and emotional distance and, therefore, were able to pursue their own goals and interpersonal relationships. There were also times when parents attempted to make amends for past experiences, facilitating the resurgence of reparation in the relationships, despite pain. For participants, this may have facilitated the possibility of mourning the losses of their childhoods and encouraged integration (Lieberman et al., 2005).
Klein (1937) wrote about the existence of concern within the child for the other, which was not merely connected to dependence but to a tendency to “make right” and help loved ones despite destructiveness. This sense of responsibility is unveiled in genuine sympathy, the capacity to mentalize and thus to understand significant others and what they may feel (Fonagy, 2008; Klein, 1937). All the participants demonstrated care and consideration toward their parents and siblings. For some, the defensive adoption of a caregiving role appeared to compromise their abilities to be vulnerable and accept caring from significant others temporarily. However, their awareness of their struggles and attempts at allowing themselves to be cared for suggested shifts in this regard.
Some experiences of trauma and loss remained not fully processed for some participants and are suggestive of a need for further therapeutic intervention which may assist them to do so. The u/d attachment classification was predicted by lapses in narrative such as in reasoning or discourse (Hesse, 1996; Hesse & Main, 2006) which were predominant enough in the AAI texts of two participants to warrant such a classification, but in relation to particular recalled events only. Overall secure classifications were related to overall representations of their relationships with their parents in childhood, which appeared to have been thought about and reworked in adolescence and adulthood.
Diversity
The study addresses diversity through an exploration of resilience among adult survivors of childhood IPV. This is an underresearched population, as the majority of psychological studies into the effects of IPV on children tend to focus on the pathological sequelae (Al-Modallal, 2016; Anderson, 2010; Grasso et al., 2016). Although the participants in this study included a multiplicity of South African ethnicities, the fact that only female participants were included means that the experiences of resilient male children are not represented. The results of the study broaden understandings of pathways to health through childhood into adulthood for children exposed to IPV. The findings also normalize the distress associated with these experiences and may aid in lessening the shame and stigma experienced by these children, which can extend into adulthood (Stanley, 2011).
Limitations of the Study
The participants were all female university students from varied ethnicities who had already completed their first and second year of study (some were completing postgraduate degrees) and who were representative of a middle to high socioeconomic status. Results may have differed if greater diversity in gender and socioeconomic status had been achieved. This small case study sample is also not necessarily representative of the general South African population of individuals exposed to IPV in childhood. However, it does provide an in-depth glimpse into the lives of resilient individuals, who are seldom the center of research on IPV. The mechanisms by which these individuals adapt, survive, and recover may be particularly relevant to clinicians working with individuals exposed to cumulative trauma in childhood.
Conclusion
Children who manage to develop secure attachment states of mind despite exposure to ongoing IPV in childhood, warrant investigation, as the literature tends to focus on the negative sequelae of this exposure (Anderson, 2010). Of particular interest in this research was the exploration of participants’ attachment states of mind as adaptive maneuvers. Adaptation pertained to the defensive maneuvers used by each participant in childhood and adulthood, to avoid intolerable anxiety, and to remain connected to significant others. Although some of these adaptations, such as idealization, avoidance, and the adoption of care-taking roles, could be perceived as pathological responses in adulthood if perpetuated, these factors may in themselves have engendered a sense of control in the participants as children and enabled coping. Therefore, resilient adaptation may also have a great deal to do with individual’s use of personal resources within adverse environments, which assist with the processing of experienced distress while avoiding maltreatment. Sroufe (2005) indicated that there are multiple influences that affect outcomes. The presence of protective factors and adaptation appeared to overlap in the lives of these participants, suggesting that exposure to an unsafe family environment and its impact is complex and far from clearly understood, a reality that challenges deterministic frameworks and understandings of the effect of early adversity upon later development.
Later, the individual’s ability to acknowledge her experiences yet to be able to attain conscious psychological distance from states of trauma and loss is also a psychological resource that induces a move toward recovery and the valuing of interpersonal connections. Taking perspective and attaining some emotional distance from traumatic experiences may make such experiences easier to process and understand. This facilitates integration which may be reflected in more positive adaptation and greater coherence. As suggested by Hauser and Allen (2004), individuals’ experienced hope and fear, love and pain are not necessarily contradictory but rather a reflection of their own integration of experiences, their hopes for the future and for change. The resilience demonstrated by the participants in this study appeared linked to their capacities to relinquish particular childhood defenses in adulthood, to coherently discuss their childhood environments and recognize the impact thereof, to resume maturational growth, and to demonstrate a capacity for concern.
Footnotes
Acknowledgements
The researchers would like to thank the participants of the study for their bravery and willingness to participate.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: The researchers would like to acknowledge financial support of the University of the Witwatersrand Faculty of Humanities PhD Completion Grant.
