Abstract
“Why doesn’t she just leave him?” A refrain that many domestic violence victims and their advocates hear again and again. However, a large body of research clearly shows that when a woman leaves her abusive partner, the violence frequently escalates and she is at risk of experiencing more violence and potentially being killed.
In Abusive Endings, DeKeseredy, Dragiewicz, and Schwartz offer a wide-ranging review of the social science literature on the violence done to women by men in intimate relationships. They examine the legal and social definitions of “abuse”; current record-keeping methods about said abuse (and the problems with those methods); what it means to “separate” from an intimate partner; the unique role that children play in separation abuse; the ways technological advancements are increasing the forms of abuse; and what can be done on micro and macro levels to help women in their attempts to separate from their abusers. Coming from a feminist perspective, the authors explore how the micro-level internalization of male privilege intersects with the patriarchal judicial system to create a web of social and legal influences that perpetuate violence against women, make it difficult for women to find safety when they are being abused, and complicate the separation/leaving process.
The authors also expose the gaps in the research. Some of the important gaps they identify are the heterosexist nature of most research on violence against women, the lack of research on rural populations, the effects of pregnancy on separation violence, and the extent of stalking as a form of separation/divorce violence. Although they acknowledge they cannot fill these gaps in one book, they do offer ways to start. For example, they repeatedly highlight the unique risks posed to women in rural areas because of lack of personal and organizational resources, strong belief in patriarchal and male-privilege-based social structures, and the prevalence of guns and encourage more extensive research on the intersection of these factors.
A key addition to the literature on domestic violence is the authors’ discussion of the complicated nature of the term “separation” and how and why separation so often leads to more violence against women. The judicial system has historically considered separation something that can only happen in legally recognized relationships, such as marriages, civil unions, or common-law marriages, and assumes that there must be a physical or legal aspect to this “separation.” However, the authors argue that these requirements for “separation” constrict and restrict the ways in which both society and the judicial system measure, react to, and deal with separation-related violence. The authors contend that the definition of separation must be more fluid and inclusive because “separation and divorce is a process, and one that might go forward and backward in fits and starts. It may begin long before anyone moves out or initiates legal proceedings, and it may continue long after the divorce is final.” (p. 8)
Using concepts such as “the power and control wheel,” the authors explain that there is often a “web of emotional abuse” and/or “coercive control” in addition to physical abuse. There are a variety of factors that contribute to women being unable to “just leave.” Two of the most important that convolute the separation process are financial reliance/interdependence and the presence of children. Both add a level of emotional and legal intricacy to separation and divorce and are often contributing factors to continued abuse. In particular, the cultural belief that children should have contact with their fathers even if they are abusive weaves itself through the family court system. Thus, it is often difficult to completely separate abused women from their abusers unless they are willing to give up their children. In fact, “in contested custody cases with a history of abuse, it is more common than not for children to be placed into joint custody with their mother and the father who abused her. Even killing the mother does not preclude custody by the abusive father or his family” (p. 126).
An important addition to the literature is the chapter on how technological advancements, particularly the Internet, have added types of abuse to the world of domestic violence. The authors address cyberstalking, social network site intrusion, and the meteoric spread of pornography and image-based sexual abuse on the Internet. One of the major problems with this technology-based abuse is that it is so recent that there are few (if any) regulations and protections in place for victims.
Overall, this book offers a solid and comprehensive overview of much of the social science literature on domestic violence and the personal, social, and legal implications of and barriers to women’s attempts to remove themselves (and their children) from abusive situations and partners and would be a useful addition to undergraduate and graduate courses on the topic.