Abstract
Moving for Marriage by Shruti Chaudhry is a welcome contribution to the study of marriage and migration in India. An ethnographic study of a village in rural Uttar Pradesh, this book explores and compares the post-marital lived experience of women in two different kinds of marriages—regional, those that conform to conventional matchmaking norms and cross-regional, that involve long-distance marriage migration often transgressing conventional marriage rules. In doing so, this book challenges some of the most obdurate assumptions about cross-region marriage migration in India and the ‘absence’ of intimacy in these marriages in particular. The appealing dimension of this book lies in its thick description, attention to detail and rich narratives that are complemented well by existing theoretical literature on the subjects of marriage, migration, intimacy and agency.
The book is divided into two parts and seven chapters. Three chapters that make up the book’s first part contextualize cross-region marriages within the broader domain of marriage market dynamics in rural north India. Chapter 1 delves into what constitutes a regional marriage and how some marriage forms are looked upon as ‘ideal’ in contrast to others. Chapter 2 describes the hegemonic and compulsory nature of heterosexual marriage in north India by examining those individuals whom this institution marginalizes. Situating rising bachelorhood within the context of masculine sex ratios, this chapter locates how cross-region marriages are emerging as a favoured strategy adopted by involuntary bachelors in response to local bride shortages. It also outlines the reasons why women chose to migrate for marriage over long distances. Chapter 3 unravels the process of negotiating a cross-region marriage. Highlighting the complexities of marriage payments in cross-regional marriages, it elaborates why these marriages do not fit the parameters of trafficking and the implications it has on local understanding of these unconventional marriages and incoming migrant brides.
The four chapters in the second part of the book focus on women’s post-marital lives. They delve into a comparative analysis of lived experiences of regional and cross-regional brides in relation to other significant actors in their lives. Chapter 4 examines the process of women’s adjustment in their marital home. It argues that the transition is more difficult for cross-region brides as for them marriage not only entails spatial dislocation but also challenges of adjustment in a culturally alien context. Further, given the centrality of productive and reproductive labour in married women’s lives, this chapter illustrates how the experiences of work for both regional and cross-regional brides alike are shaped by factors such as poverty, household composition, life-course stages and widowhood. Chapter 5 examines the nature of conjugal intimacy in inherently unequal marital relationships marked by vulnerability and violence and argues that ‘intimacy can develop even within violence’ (p. 138). This I believe is one of the most powerful chapters in the book. It offers a strong critique of Euro-American models of intimacy based on ideas of self-disclosure, overt expression of emotions, and centred on narrow conceptions of agency as limitless individual choice/autonomy. It calls for an engagement with alternative conceptualizations of intimacy that may sometimes involve everyday difficult work of endurance within unalterable structures and yet may mediate the process of self-making and experience of intimacy. Chapter 6 extends the discussion on intimacy beyond the conjugal couple to examine married women’s relational lives with their children, young and adult, and other women, kin and non-kin and unravel the textures and significance of these ‘forms of everyday support’ (p. 188). Finally, chapter 7, examined women’s relationship with their natal kin, the impact of differential geographical distance on regional and cross-regional brides and their access to natal kin support in ‘crisis’ moments like marital violence, breakdown and widowhood.
One of the important arguments that Chaudhry makes is that cross-region marriages do not fit the criteria of trafficking, a point made by other scholars too (Kaur, 2004). However, what exactly constitutes trafficking is not clearly defined in the book. The author illustrates that ‘deception’ in matters of marriage by relatives or someone unknown was fairly common (pp. 88–91). If trafficking can broadly be defined as encompassing any migration process which involves use of deception, abuse or exploitation in the reason or destination for migration, then the fact that women such as Devanti and Sita, who were made to migrate by their relatives without their knowledge of and consent to marry would fall into the category of trafficked women. Terming such instances ‘deception’, rather than trafficking, dilutes the gravity of problems present in these ‘marriages’. How are these cases different from Samita’s (p. 90) which Chaudhary clearly identifies as trafficking, where an unknown man drugged, kidnapped and sold Samita to her ‘husband’. Is the distinction between kin (known) and non-kin (strangers) central in defining what constitutes trafficking? Kempadoo and Doezema (1998) argued that the trafficking discourse often relies on an assumption of unknown evil traffickers behind trafficking. However, ‘the experiences of individuals are generalized without consideration that the work of organized criminal networks may be the combined effort of family, friends, agents and entrepreneurs’ (Agustin, 2001, p. 109). These blurs merit deeper engagement with questions like: What constitutes trafficking? What are the historical linkages between trafficking and marriage? Do we need to think about degrees of deception? Is deceiving someone for the reason of migration (in this context marriage) the same as deception in lying about a prospective groom’s property or physical attributes? Engagement with some of these ideas would have helped in developing greater clarity around these contentious issues.
Even as Chaudhry paints a poignant ethnographic picture of women’s lives as regional and cross-regional brides, while reading the text something that constantly troubled me was the absence of a multiplicity of voices. Particularly, voices of those other significant actors who are intimately related to these women through marriage and migration and (re)shape their lives but in the process whose lives also get shaped by them. Except for chapter 2 where we get to hear the voices of some never-married men, the ethnographic chapters in this book overtly focus on women’s narratives. Before I delve into my reservations with this, let me stress that this is not a criticism of the book. The focus of the book was clear that it will examine married migrant women’s post-marital experiences of regional and cross-regional migration and will give a ‘voice’ to them through their narratives (p. 25). However, studies on migration in India and elsewhere increasingly recognize that migration does not solely impact the mover (Smith, 2011). A second, but related fact is that questions of agency in the context of migration should not simply be interrogated from the vantage point of ‘who moves’ and ‘who does not’, but needs engagement with differential positioning of groups and individuals within the spaces constituted of flows and movements (Massey, 1994). Within this context, I feel it would have been nice to hear the other side of the story, particularly that of the husbands and the in-laws who are also ‘in charge’ of movement and mobility of migrant brides in many ways. It would have helped us better understand how migrant women’s identities and experiences are shaped in relational contexts and how agency is enabled and constrained also by non-movement in a ‘multi-local life-world’ (Vertovec, 2001, p. 578). As a reader, I was left wanting for more—the negotiations, contestations and counter-narratives that the significant others around cross-region brides deploy and engage in and how it shapes their ‘lived’ experiences.
To sum up, I only have positive evaluations for this book. It is a significant contribution to the literature on gender, marriage and migration in India. Written as a highly readable text this would interest not only undergraduate and graduate students in sociology, anthropology, kinship, migration and gender studies but also anyone who wants to explore questions of marriage, migration and intimacy.