Facilitating High-Quality Relationships for Students With Emotional and Behavioral Disorders in Crisis

Before a Crisis Situation

When teachers first meet a new student, and for every interaction thereafter, it is very important to consider the relationship as a series of interactions (Marlowe, Garwood, & Van Loan, 2017). Being proactive and intentional about each interaction is the best method for preventing undesirable behaviors and reducing the escalation of negative behaviors during a crisis situation. Without monitoring each and every interaction, teachers may struggle to be successful in developing a meaningful teacher–student relationship. Even worse, a good portion of teachers’ efforts to use therapeutic techniques and behavioral interventions will become mundane and ineffective. It has been said that effort without a good relationship is like a car engine without any oil; it will not go very far before it overheats and shuts down (Long, 2008).

Relationships go both ways and there are things a student brings to the relationship that may be difficult to handle. Because teachers are professionals, they are in a better position to change their behavior and model appropriate behavior to improve interactions in the future. Each teacher–student interaction can be evaluated by remembering the acronym TAN (Toward–Away–Needs) and asking the following questions: Is this interaction moving Toward a close, trusting teacher–student relationship? Is it moving Away from a close, trusting teacher–student relationship? Are my student’s and my own Needs being met?

Teachers can move Toward students by developing trust with them. Strategies that can promote trust building include learning about students’ interests and values, connecting a skill being taught to something of interest to the student, and being consistent and predictable in interactions with students (Mihalas et al., 2009). Consciously demonstrating respect and personal regard will promote feelings of trust in a student. Try to promote your student’s autonomy by looking for independent work opportunities. When reviewing their work, demonstrate acknowledgment of a student’s merit by mirroring their values, ideas, and effort. Additional behaviors that promote trust include truly listening with intent more than talking when noticing they are agitated.

To avoid moving Away from the student, teachers need to consider how they deliver directions and feedback to the student. These interactions should be calm, respectful, and patient, even when you’re feeling frustrated. Power struggles with the student should be avoided and there should be a high rate of positive to negative statements. Generally, four positive statements for every one negative or neutral statement (from the student’s perspective) are desirable (Conroy, Sutherland, Snyder, Al-Hendawi, & Vo, 2009). Overall, a teacher should strive for cooperation instead of compliance. Cooperation can be promoted by providing personal space and validating a student’s feelings before bidding a request.

To maintain a relationship that focuses on the Needs of the teacher and the student, a teacher should consider the expectations, wants, and personal goals for both parties. Try to promote an atmosphere where the student feels they have freedom and independence. Offering students choices in how to meet a learning objective, for example, is a useful strategy (Kern & State, 2009). It is also important for teachers to meet their professional responsibilities and to be sure their personal needs (e.g., emotional wellbeing, sense of job satisfaction) are being met as well (Cancio & Conderman, 2008). In a high-quality relationship, the relationship itself becomes reinforcing for both sides. See Table 1 for a brief summary of TAN.

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Table 1.

Remember TAN During Pre-Crisis Interactions.

Toward	Away	Needs
Interactions to facilitate moving Toward a close, trusting teacher–student relationship	Interactions to prevent moving Away from a high-quality teacher–student relationship	Be sure your student’s and your own Needs are being met
1. Learning about students’ interests and values 2. Connecting a skill being taught to something of interest to the student 3. Being consistent and predictable in interactions with students 4. Listen more than talk 5. Value their ideas, effort, autonomy by showing their merit 6. Consciously demonstrate respect, personal regard, and trust	1. Consider how to deliver directions and feedback to students 2. Interactions should be calm, respectful, and patient 3. Avoid power struggles 4. Use high rates of positive to negative statements 5. Emphasize cooperation versus compliance 6. Provide space 7. Validate feelings before a request	1. Consider the wants and personal goals of both parties 2. Promote an atmosphere of freedom and independence 3. Be sure to meet professional responsibilities and personal needs 4. Be conscious that the relationship is reinforcing for both sides 5. Be aware of the warning signs of burnout (e.g., emotional exhaustion)

Note. TAN = Toward–Away–Needs.

During a Crisis Situation

One of the most important things teachers can do in any crisis is to remain in control of themselves. Teachers must be able to monitor themselves before they can address student behavior. Self-monitoring involves monitoring one’s expressive and nonverbal behavior (Gangestad & Snyder, 2000). If a teacher rates higher on self-monitoring, they are more aware of how they are perceived by others and will adjust their behavior in different situations. For example, if a teacher normally talks loudly, but notices that a student winces and becomes agitated when talking to him or her, the teacher may change the volume of their voice and then find that the student is now calmer during interactions. An individual with low self-monitoring skills may interact with all students in the exact same way, regardless of the student’s needs. This type of person may be permissive or overly controlling. Teachers who rate lower on self-monitoring may need to adjust and work to increase their self-awareness. Being more self-aware is one of the hardest parts of teaching. Most teachers have engaged in a negative interaction with a student and, in reflection, acknowledged that something could have been done differently. Most can admit to never being fully self-aware and can always reconsider the nuances of the interaction. It is in this moment, according to Long, Morse, Fecser, and Newman (2007), that one should own and accept one’s feelings but not act on them or mirror a student’s undesired behaviors. Focus on the thoughts, feelings, and emotions from your perspective and then the students. Then try to interact without overt frustration, resentment, or counter-aggression to avoid the conflict cycle (Long et al., 2007).

Additional ways to improve self-monitoring are to role-play scenarios, video record themselves and review, or ask a colleague to observe one’s teaching and provide notes about strengths and areas for improvement regarding interactions with students. Imagine if the student and you are two gears, if you engage too hard, you may strip gears or grind to a halt. If you do not engage enough, the gears may spin out of control.

After a Crisis Situation

Teachers need to assist students with understanding how choices they make may result in natural consequences, such as how staying up too late can result in being very tired the next day. Or consequences may be imposed, such as how poor effort while playing a video game can result in missing a bonus, not achieving the next level, or a lower score. It is important to identify behaviors that are serious enough to warrant imposing a negative consequence as a result. And the consequence must fit the severity of the act. For example, if a student inflicts physical harm to another student during a restroom break, the consequence may be an adult who monitors restroom breaks. Exploring both the positive and negative consequences and repercussions of a behavior choice with the student can be very valuable. Remember, it is just as important how to explain a consequence as the selection of the consequence.

Students with EBD may have already experienced several losses in their lives. They may not have much in the way of material possessions and may not be in control of much of what happens to them (Cefai & Cooper, 2010). Because of this, they may react poorly when things are taken away. In this case, taking something away as an imposed consequence (i.e., response cost procedures; Alberto & Troutman, 2016) may not be the best way to accomplish a teaching goal. Instead, teachers can emphasize the ability the student has to affect the outcome by making a different and better decision. Explain how natural consequences work by considering examples, such as losing a friendship after stealing from a friend. Teachers should spend time explaining the big picture of students’ actions and resulting consequences, instead of seeking to take something away. This may preserve the relationship and let the student see the teacher as an ally. If a teacher cannot think of an appropriate consequence at the time, it is very powerful to say something like, “I noticed that you ______ (insert observed behavior in specific terms). I will need to think about a consequence for that and I will get back to you.” This does two things. First, it lets the student know that the behavior is unacceptable. Second, it allows the teacher time to come up with an appropriate consequence to avoid overreacting in the moment to help maintain the quality of the teacher–student relationship (Fay & Funk, 1995).

Conclusion

Power struggles do not de-escalate crisis situations; they usually escalate them. Any interaction that fosters a genuine, trusting, and caring relationship from a student’s perspective, regardless of setting, is likely to result in a better chance that the student will accept feedback that results in improved social, emotional, and academic success. Although these strategies will not always work with every student or automatically prevent inappropriate behavior, the effort they require is less than the positive benefits gained for the quality of the teacher and student relationship. Establishing a high-quality relationship with students allows teachers to offer support, promote a student’s own awareness of their strengths, help them identify areas for improvement, and pinpoint their needs and desires. By implementing the Before, During, and After strategies and being conscious of the acronym TAN during any interaction, teachers can prevent their students from moving away from them, diminish the chances of crisis situations, and preserve the quality of their relationship.