“It Felt Like I Had Air Back in My Lungs”: Eleanor’s Journey Back From Burnout

Abstract

The purpose of this narrative inquiry was to explore the story of a secondary ensemble teacher who experienced burnout and chose to remain in the profession. Eleanor and I met for three semistructured interviews and two observations. I used Clandinin and Connelly’s three-dimensional inquiry space as a framework for this study. Narrative analysis revealed that Eleanor experienced symptoms of burnout during a first teaching position that was a poor fit for her. Her passion and enthusiasm for teaching were reignited during a period of long-term music substitute teaching in a successful program surrounded by a supportive community. The importance of recognizing burnout, finding support systems, and identifying hegemonic assumptions about teaching emerged as critical points in Eleanor’s narrative. This arc became visible through narratively coding the field texts, and thoroughly reviewing data obtained from interviews and observations.

Keywords

music teacher burnout narrative inquiry retention support

Teachers may perceive their work as meaningful and rewarding while simultaneously reporting high levels of stress and burnout symptoms (Skaalvik & Skaalvik, 2017). Kyriacou (2001) defined teacher stress as “the experience by a teacher of unpleasant, negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, tension, frustration or depression” (p. 28). Music teachers commonly experience feelings of professional and personal isolation, which also contribute to occupational stress (Sindberg & Lipscomb, 2005). Too often, early career educators may be left to wonder if their struggles are typical as they navigate the transition from the apprentice phase to the professional phase of teaching (Steffy & Wolfe, 2001). Meeting those challenges with appropriate supports may encourage novice educators to persist through the initial five years of teaching, after which they are more likely to remain in the profession. Individuals experiencing burnout symptoms tend to blame personal inadequacy for their struggles. However, factors contributing to feelings of burnout in educators are often traceable to larger structural challenges (Kyriacou, 2001). Research describing the experience of burnout may be useful to teacher educators preparing candidates to enter the field equipped with tools to recognize burnout. Draves (2012) explored the story of Amy, a band director who chose to leave the profession after six successful years, illuminating why a teacher experiencing success might have chosen to leave. I examined the converse: a teacher who chose to remain in music education despite a particularly difficult and unpleasant first 5 years.

Review of Literature

Educators are particularly susceptible to burnout, given the stresses present in teaching (Maslach et al., 2001). Maslach et al. (2001) described burnout as having three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization (also referred to as cynicism), and reduced personal accomplishment. Emotional and physical exhaustion, described as a debilitating lack of energy and chronic fatigue, is the core element that defines burnout, though at least one of the other two dimensions is typically present (Maslach et al., 2001). In teachers, burnout has been shown to be negatively related to self-efficacy (Skaalvik & Skaalvik, 2017) and job satisfaction (Skaalvik & Skaalvik, 2010). Factors such as high workload, unclear goals from administrators, and lack of cooperation among in-district teaching colleagues reliably predicted burnout among music teachers (Hamann et al., 1987). McLain (2005) found “moderate” levels of emotional exhaustion as a measure of burnout in music teachers, yet the participants still felt a “strong sense of personal accomplishment” (p. 71).

Though the daily challenges facing teachers have continued to evolve, the factors likely to contribute to music teacher attrition and turnover have remained relatively consistent. Between 1988 and 2001, 10% of music teachers changed schools and 6% left the profession each year citing a variety of factors, including a desire to move to a school with greater resources and support, attend college, retire, work within education but outside of music, or remain at home (Hancock, 2009). Teachers who moved to a different school experienced more positive impacts on their personal and professional lives than those who left the profession entirely (Hancock, 2016). Music teachers dissatisfied with their current environment often sought a different teaching position in the hope that it would lead to improved workplace conditions, better teaching assignments, or increased administrative support (Gardner, 2010). Music teachers who were younger, less educated, or less experienced were most likely to change schools or cease teaching (Gardner, 2010). In a survey of 321 secondary music educators, Russell (2012) found that more than 25% of the respondents planned to retire or leave the profession permanently within 5 years, a rate greater than national averages for all teachers; implications included suggestions for increasing supports and improving working conditions for teachers.

Music education researchers have thoroughly examined the role of support systems and favorable work environments. Music teachers required administrative support, sufficient resources, and a support network for job satisfaction (Krueger, 2000). Perceived administrative support was the largest influence on music teacher satisfaction and retention (Gardner, 2010). In general education, Smith and Ingersoll (2004) identified common support strategies useful for beginning teachers. They found that forming relationships with mentors in their field, collaborating or planning with other teachers in their subject area, and participating in an external teacher network resulted in the decreased likelihood those teachers would leave the profession or move to another school. According to research by Gardner (2010) and Robinson (2010), secondary-level music positions typically entailed additional responsibilities and time demands related to teaching performing ensembles and managing extracurricular activities, which may require additional supports. Conway (2015) emphasized the importance of encouraging new teachers to seek out music-specific mentors, warning that district-provided induction and mentoring programs may not be sufficient.

Researchers have explored the ways in which the presence or absence of different types of support affected music teachers who left the profession (e.g., Draves, 2012; Gardner, 2010; Hancock, 2016). Protective and inhibitive factors affected perceptions of work-life balance, support systems, and position within the school system for teachers whose responsibilities spanned curricular and extracurricular activities (Scheib, 2003). Burnout is a real concern for all teachers, and music teachers may be at greater risk than the general population (Hamann et al., 1987; McLain, 2005). The purpose of this study was to examine the arc of Eleanor’s¹ experience as a secondary music teacher who experienced burnout. I considered factors that contributed to her experience of burnout and the impacts of that experience on her work as a music educator.

Method

The goal of narrative inquiry is to re-story the participant’s experience in the context of a three-dimensional inquiry space: temporality, sociality, and place (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). The three-dimensional inquiry space draws from Dewey’s (1938) two criteria for understanding experience: recognition of the individual within their social context and the continuity of experience. Temporality and continuity of experience proved important in framing Eleanor’s narrative, as the plot points in past stories frequently served to explain her present perspective. The Deweyan pragmatic framework underlying narrative inquiry obliges the researcher to generate an understanding (not the understanding) of the individual’s reality that must be grounded in experience and validated by that experience (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000).

Rationale

The researcher must justify the significance of the narrative within three contexts: personal, practical, and social (Clandinin et al., 2016). Because our current teaching situations were similar as secondary ensemble directors, I began my inquiry with the anticipation that I would see my own experience reflected in Eleanor’s. This assumption emerged when I wrote reflexive notes and memos. I initially contacted Eleanor because I had known her professionally for several years and she fit inclusion criteria for a different study. I was unaware of the narrative that became the basis of this study before asking her to participate in the initial interview. After this interview with Eleanor, I realized that she had an unusual story to tell, and we shifted to the current design. In conducting this study, we hoped to provide an example of a teacher who persisted through burnout to find a positive teaching situation.

Design

The data collection period for this narrative inquiry lasted approximately 1 month, during which I interviewed Eleanor three times, formally observed her once, and attended a music festival at her school. Each interview lasted 60 to 90 minutes. I conducted a three-part interview series (see Appendix A in the online supplemental material), each interview focusing on a separate theme: first on Eleanor’s life story, next on her current experience, and finally her reflection on the meaning of these stories (Seidman, 2006). Because Eleanor and I had known each other professionally for several years, we began each interview with a quick debrief about our experiences that day, building a warm rapport. The field observation lasted approximately 2 hours and occurred between the first and second interviews. I transcribed each interview and wrote my field notes from jottings within 48 hours of each meeting or observation, replacing identifiers with pseudonyms (Emerson et al., 2011). I formatted the field text, consisting of interviews and field notes, in a two-column chart with “inward” reflective notes on the left column and “outward” observations of events in the right column (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). I analyzed the interviews, documents, and field notes with the goal of “uncover[ing] common themes or plots in the data” (Polkinghorne, 1988, p. 177). Through this analysis, multiple stories emerged as key turning points for Eleanor, which became subheadings in the narrative. After I completed the draft of the research text, Eleanor read the restorying and indicated that she was pleased with the representation of her narrative (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). In this descriptive narrative study, I sought to convey for Eleanor those “life stories that provide self-identity and give unity to the person’s whole existence” (Polkinghorne, 1988, p. 163).

Eleanor’s Story

“We Literally Were the von Trapp Family”

In November 2017, Eleanor was in her fifth year at Summerglen High School and her eleventh year of teaching overall. Growing up the oldest of five in a music-mandatory family, she always knew she wanted to teach, and had settled on music education by the time she got to high school. She studied piano, flute, and percussion. Describing her childhood music experience Eleanor said,

We literally were the von Trapp family. We had the double bicycles, we would take rides, all seven of us old school. . . We all sang. We grew up singing church hymns in seven-part harmony. . . . We always had all the voice parts covered.

Theater was another formative element in Eleanor’s life, both onstage and backstage. She and her siblings participated in community theater as actors and singers as well as orchestra musicians and technical crew members. With music education in mind, Eleanor structured her high school classes around the performing arts, taking five music classes in a single day by her eleventh-grade year, all with the same teacher. However, her experience with her high school music teacher was not one she sought to emulate with her own future students.

“You Will Never Be My Colleagues; You Will Always Be My Students”

Eleanor majored in music education at Autumnvale University near her hometown, the same university attended by her own high school music teacher. Her decision to attend this college was influenced by her teacher’s exhortation to her and her classmates who were considering music, that “you will never be my colleagues; you will always be my students.”

I had a really hard time with some of his teaching policies—part of me was in music education out of spite, like, “I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do it better than you did it, and I’m going to prove to you that I can do this.”

Eleanor’s experience with her director strongly influenced her teaching philosophy. One of her students has perfect pitch and performed a flawless rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” at the music festival I attended. Eleanor recognized that he is likely to surpass her own skill level as a singer but chooses to be supportive of her students rather than intimidated by their abilities. “There’s no reason for me to pretend that I’m a better musician than this kid is. I will do whatever I can to make sure that he is succeeding even if that’s not an area that I’m great at.”

“My Director Is a Music Terrorist”

Just weeks before graduating from Autumnvale University, she received a job offer from Winterwood, a rural district not too far away, and accepted it. Eleanor was excited to begin her first teaching job; she had been hired as a high school ensemble and middle school general music teacher. Despite her administration's clear stance that music was only offered because it was a state requirement, Eleanor was ready to jump in and grow a high school program that currently had only 14 students enrolled. At the middle school, the district declined to purchase any textbooks or curricular materials for her, so she wrote her own curriculum for the 5 weeks she saw each student. Sixth-grade students focused on music literacy, seventh-grade students focused on music history, and eighth-grade students focused on world music.

One week, the eighth-grade students were learning about music from India, including overtone singing. A student went home and told his parents they were “learning about music from some terrorist country.” The following morning (without consulting with her) the principal and school board members arrived in her classroom while she was teaching. Eleanor’s stomach dropped as they informed her that she could not teach world music; she also had to sign an antiterrorism document and would no longer be permitted to do anything in any class without having her lesson plans approved a week ahead of time. Adding to her frustration and disappointment, her high school students thought the administration’s treatment of her was hilarious, making t-shirts that read “My director is a music terrorist.”

Despite this experience, Eleanor’s high school ensemble students had shown her that they genuinely loved making music and did not take their experience in her ensemble for granted. She recounted how her students expressed enthusiasm and joy in the rehearsal room. Eleanor knew the students saw that she cared deeply about making music accessible to them as the program’s numbers and student buy-in had grown dramatically since her arrival. When Eleanor would think about leaving Winterwood, she felt like she would be taking something away from these students with whom she had worked so hard to build a strong music program.

“They Killed Every Piece of My Soul at That Job”

For months in her fifth and final year at Winterwood, Eleanor cried in the shower, while getting dressed, and in the car on the way to work, pulling herself together as she drove through the area surrounding the high school. Her closest colleague and only friend at work, another ensemble director, had not been rehired that fall, resulting in her now teaching his ensemble classes in addition to her own. She had no budget, no consistent teaching space, and now no colleagues in whom she could confide. Her other colleagues would tell her to “keep her head down and just get through it.” The thought of continuing to teach—returning to this school that disregarded her and her subject matter—made her sick to her stomach.

Also in her final year of teaching at Winterwood, Eleanor was diagnosed with cancer. The administration at Winterwood remained unsupportive, refusing to give her time off to handle the emotional and physical realities of a cancer diagnosis. Eleanor attributes her illness, in part, to the stress, anxiety, and anger from her first teaching job, saying “I’m convinced that job and the stress that I had on a daily basis, my body was like get out.” The second semester of her final year at Winterwood was especially hard. A student who had not received the lead in the musical that year was suing Eleanor and her colleagues, defaming them on social media and accusing them of inappropriate behavior with students. Her principal called her down to his office for performing a pop song by Lady Gaga for their final concert, which she had carefully selected for school-appropriate language and content. He informed Eleanor that “We do not support what she stands for. You will not do anything but religious music from this point on.” The convergence of events that year served as a tipping point for Eleanor.

“I Walked Out That Door and Never Went Back”

Weeks later, Eleanor stood in her principal’s office at the end of her fifth year at Winterwood. With one hand she received her 5-year teaching recognition certificate and with the other she handed her principal her letter of resignation. With no job lined up, she was considering quitting teaching entirely. She had struggled so long with the feeling that it was her responsibility to rescue the disintegrating music program at Winterwood, but she had reached the point where the personal costs to her outweighed the progress she had achieved. Her principal asked why she was leaving, and she finally let it all out, expressing how much she hated the job, resented the district, and distrusted the parents. Finally, after 5 years and with the support and encouragement of her husband, she decided it was time to leave.

Eleanor’s husband Seth was also a professional musician and music educator. Seth also had an unusually difficult first teaching job at a high school, and through the lens of his experience he encouraged Eleanor to leave her position. Their mantra around the house was “it’s not like this everywhere.” While Eleanor was considering leaving the profession, he encouraged her to apply for other jobs and give herself a year before making the decision to leave teaching entirely. After leaving Winterwood, Eleanor was hired for a maternity-leave position as a semester-long substitute for Debra, a director with a large and successful program in a medium-sized suburban district.

“Debra and Her Kids Legitimately Saved My Career”

Debra met with Eleanor in August to plan for Debra’s maternity leave. Debra handed Eleanor the repertoire selections for the semester. Though she was always willing to answer questions, Debra gave Eleanor full control over the entire program for 4 months. Her confidence severely shaken after her experience at Winterwood, Eleanor was nervous about teaching in this massive, well-respected program. Debra’s most advanced ensemble regularly performed at the state music education conferences and competed in adjudicated events at the most challenging level, consistently earning the highest possible marks.

Eleanor need not have worried. The students at Springfield threw her a welcome party, which she still spoke about with disbelief years later, a party “for a sub, who they knew was only going to be there for a semester. I thought, this is weird.” Parents in the music booster program welcomed her and offered assistance wherever she needed it. The students stopped by regularly to help her find things, showed Eleanor how Debra ran their gigs, and helped take attendance as she was learning the students’ names. Debra and the superintendent at Springfield wrote reference letters for Eleanor when she was applying to jobs so she could avoid any contact with Winterwood. Eleanor received another external reinforcement of her success at Springfield when Debra’s top ensemble went to contest after Debra returned and earned their highest possible ratings after Eleanor had taught them two of their three competition pieces. Eleanor described her experience at Springfield as transformative:

Going from where I was to Springfield and seeing it’s not like Winterwood everywhere, was like a deep breath. After that, I thought, okay. I can still do this. I was convinced I couldn’t do my job . . . I remember just—it felt like I had air back in my lungs going to that school. And Debra as a person helped me through that transition, so much. . . . And then Summerglen happened, and it was literally like it was a miracle.

“My Best Friends Are the People I Work With.”

The day Eleanor accepted her teaching position at Summerglen High School was also her first day of work. After she was hired, her principal walked her down to the music room for auditions. The first few interactions were rocky. The students, in the characteristically brutally honest way teenagers have, told her “We don’t want you here, you’re not our director!” Shortly after, her colleague Bert arrived to tell her “I’m taking the drama club supplemental², you can’t have it.” Within her first week of teaching, Shawn (another ensemble director) kindly sat her down to tell her, “I don’t want you to hear it from somebody else, but I want you to know that you’re not the person I wanted for this job. You have some big shoes to fill.” Eleanor thought to herself, “What is this place?!”

After those nerve-wracking first couple of weeks, all of a sudden, everything fell into place, and Eleanor began building the relationships with her colleagues that she has come to rely on for support and friendship. Shawn, Eleanor’s office-mate, and Bert, the drama club codirector were now her closest colleagues and friends at Summerglen. She emphasized the ease with which they all interacted and shared various departmental responsibilities. The drama program at Summerglen was run by teachers in the district who collaborated regularly and whose primary teaching responsibilities were enriched by their work together after school. In part, Eleanor credited her skill as an accompanist and her lifetime of theater experience with her seamless integration into the performing arts community at Summerglen.

In reflecting on her relationship with her Summerglen colleagues, Eleanor emphasized the importance of open, honest communication. Shawn’s words felt like a punch in the gut, but she realized that her colleagues were going to tell her the truth to her face. Eleanor came from a school where she saw teachers gossip and “throw each other under the bus,” as if they were in “survival mode . . . it was never personal, and everybody was just looking out for themselves.” Eleanor much preferred honesty, even if honesty occasionally meant conflict between strong-minded colleagues. Summerglen was “intense, but it’s healthy. I felt like I could earn their trust and their respect.”

“This Is Who I am, and I Love It . . . My Kids Are My Kids”

Eleanor is now in her fifth year at Summerglen High School, where she works closely with several other performing arts teachers in her regular and supplemental roles, which are numerous. In addition to being a full-time ensemble director, Eleanor also holds supplementals for music department chair, extracurricular ensemble director, fall play, and spring musical; she splits the supplementals for auditorium management and drama department with her colleague Bert. Since starting to teach at Summerglen, Eleanor has continued to add responsibilities to her teaching load, including the school’s Genders & Sexualities Alliance (GSA) club.

Eleanor has also had a vastly different experience interacting with the administrative team at Summerglen. While she does not adopt an overly idealistic view of her administrators, she is deeply thankful for the support that she receives and feels comfortable asking for help. Eleanor values the measured and methodical nature of her current principal, who sets clear and consistent expectations. In her first year teaching at Summerglen, the principal supported her choice to be the faculty advisor for the GSA even though it was not an official club. When the music booster president complained to the school board about Eleanor advising the GSA, her principal responded by saying that Eleanor had appropriately followed the school’s guidance and wrote a supportive letter for her personnel file to accompany the parent’s complaint.

Eleanor regularly uses humor in her instruction; she is not afraid to reveal her imperfections, laughing at herself with her students over silly mistakes. Her rehearsal procedures and student materials provide evidence of a carefully crafted culture of respect and love for her students and her work. Eleanor had a cold on the day that I observed her teach, and in each of her classes one of her students asked her how she was feeling as soon as they entered the room. The relationships built here between teacher and student are strong and caring. When we talked about her future, Eleanor spoke with exhilaration and optimism about the future of her program and about her own career:

. . . and it’s been five years here and it’s the exact opposite of where I started. It is amazing the support . . . I love my administration, I love my parents, I love my kids, my colleagues are incredible, and I hope this is it forever.

Discussion

Eleanor’s experiences at Winterwood could have resulted in her leaving music education. She struggled not just as a novice teacher but also with a lack of support from administration, colleagues, the community, and parents; she felt alone in her job and lacked a supportive mentor teacher. McLain (2005) identified each of these as factors contributing to music teacher burnout. In this section, I will discuss key points that emerged in Eleanor’s narrative: problematic hegemonic assumptions about teaching, a support system that includes both peers and mentors, the experience of praxis shock in a rural school setting, and the ways in which an ethic of care manifested in her experience.

Eleanor felt pressure to save the program at Winterwood. Her hard-fought growth from 14 to 86 students participating in the program reinforced the discourses of salvation and rescue that are common in music education, that music programs or music students need to be “saved” from some external threat (Koza, 2006). Eleanor’s experience also spoke to several hegemonic assumptions about teaching. Brookfield (2017) defined hegemonic assumptions as paradigmatic ideas typically accepted as truth by individuals who believe these assumptions to be in their best interest when they are actually harmful or irrational. Eleanor felt pressure to motivate her students by virtue of her own “charismatic singularity,” measuring her success as a teacher by her ability to bring students into a small music program, while continually working herself to exhaustion (Brookfield, 2017, p. 41). Beginning music teachers commonly hold these types of unrealistic expectations for themselves (Conway, 2001). Eleanor experienced stress as she initially grew the program, but the costs to her self-efficacy outpaced any gains in actual success (Skaalvik & Skaalvik, 2017).

In another hegemonic assumption, her Winterwood music colleagues had accepted the importance of maintaining order above all else, choosing the path of least resistance in lieu of confronting systemic issues within the school and music program. Rather than forming the crucial peer mentoring relationships that could have helped Eleanor be successful (Conway, 2015), Eleanor instead felt increasingly isolated from her colleagues any time she tried to change something. Mentoring younger music colleagues may be either a district-initiated or de facto task, yet may not be intuitive to practicing teachers. Conway and Holcomb (2008) suggested that mentors themselves need mentors and assistance finding nonjudgmental ways to provide support. In a nationally representative sample of early career educators, Gallo (2018) found that first-year music educators generally received lower quality mentorship and induction supports than their nonmusic peers. By the time she taught at Springfield, Eleanor should have chronologically fallen within the “professional” phase of Steffy and Wolfe’s (2001) life-cycle model, yet she missed the vital component wherein she had the opportunity to grow her confidence as an educator. Emotional exhaustion and depersonalization, as evidenced by daily tears at the prospect of going to work at Winterwood, and her recurrent thoughts about quitting her job may have negatively impacted Eleanor’s self-efficacy (Skaalvik & Skaalvik, 2010). The repressive environment and attitudes toward music education at Winterwood prevented her from developing the self-assurance and resilience on which career teachers may draw when they are challenged in their practice. Eleanor quickly rebuilt her self-efficacy working with Debra in the context of a healthy secondary ensemble program. Both Debra at Springfield and Shawn and Bert at Summerglen served as peer mentors for Eleanor, providing her the balance of support and honest critique that helped her rebuild her confidence.

Eleanor’s perception that music was not supported in her school or community at Winterwood is not uncommon among music teachers. Benedict (2007) described how this perceived lack of support may foment “anger, resentment, retrenchment, and self-deprecation” (p. 28). Fortunately for Eleanor, she was counseled by another music teacher—her husband—to consider leaving the district that was not a good fit. As described by Hancock (2016), “changing schools is all that is needed to ignite the career of a teacher who is committed but uncomfortable in a school or role that does not ‘fit’ their values or identity” (p. 434). Transitioning to a supportive school community with a strong peer mentor in Debra re-ignited Eleanor’s career and gave her the confidence to continue teaching. Teacher turnover creates a significant expense for school districts, and while retaining teachers and correcting problems may be ideal, moving to a different teaching setting may be necessary after stress and friction build to a breaking point (Hancock, 2009).

Readers may wonder if Eleanor attributed the alleviation of some of her struggles to her move from a rural school to suburban school. Though Winterwood was in a rural area, the impact of school setting (i.e., urban, suburban, or rural) on a music teacher’s likelihood to leave the profession has been found to be minimal (Russell, 2012). However, Eleanor likely experienced praxis shock at Winterwood, as the expectations she had for her experience were consistently eroded by the realities of teaching in community with values and standards quite different from her own (Kelchtermans & Ballet, 2002). As a music education student, Eleanor had become familiar with the unique characteristics of urban school districts but lacked exposure to rural students. On reflecting, Eleanor saw that as a new teacher, she may have tried to transition to her new multicultural general music curriculum too quickly. While the epithet was inappropriate and problematic, the parents of the student who labeled Eleanor a “music terrorist” may have interpreted her choice of multicultural curriculum as a political statement about what types of music are valuable. Through the lens of his own experience as a rural music student, Bates (2011) encouraged music educators to consider how “music for all” is often understood “only in the sense of transforming the ‘all’ relative to elite, cosmopolitan sensibilities” (p. 117). Eleanor might now choose a more culturally responsive approach, building trust, relationships, and respect between her, her students, and the community before making significant curricular changes (Lind & McKoy, 2016). She could still incorporate a multicultural approach in her eighth-grade curriculum, but she might also include music that was valued by and relevant to the lives of her students and their community.

Eleanor strongly identified as a caring educator and prioritized care in her current practice. Her only struggle in leaving Winterwood was the feeling that she had abandoned her students. Care emerged repeatedly as critical to Eleanor’s story: her care for her students and program at Winterwood, Seth’s care for Eleanor in helping her decide to leave, Debra and the Springfield community’s care for Eleanor as she rebuilt her confidence, and Eleanor’s persistence in seeking out another opportunity to teach and care for students. A deep ethic of care was evident in her teaching; though she strove for excellence in her performances, Eleanor’s primary concern was for the individuals within her music program. She cultivated what Noddings (1988) called “a classroom dedicated to caring” encouraging peers to support and interact with each other, in small ways and in times of crisis (p. 223). Our second interview took place a few days after the death of a student at Summerglen; the day following this tragedy, Eleanor and her students spent the day quietly creating compassionate messages of kindness and appreciation for each other as they mourned the loss of their classmate. Regular self-care also became a part of Eleanor’s teaching practice, having recognized the threat that burnout in the form of emotional exhaustion and depersonalization posed to her success and that of her students.

Implications

Eleanor’s story may suggest ideas for working with music educators in multiple stages of their development. When working with undergraduates, music teacher educators (MTEs) could examine the savior discourse with their students and the ways in which it could lead either to healthy striving for reasonable levels of success or maladaptive perfectionist tendencies. Recognizing and naming hegemonic assumptions common in teaching could help equip teachers with self-awareness and knowledge protective against unreasonable expectations that are often unconsciously internalized and even celebrated by teachers (Brookfield, 2017). Eleanor also struggled to recognize how she might have been imposing her own cultural norms and values on the rural community at Winterwood. As Shaw (2018) suggested in her work on praxis shock in urban contexts, MTEs could encourage preservice music educators to identify how their expectations and values are culturally informed, and recognize that good teaching is not “transcendent and identical for all students” to help alleviate praxis shock (p. 28). As undergraduates, preservice teachers are surrounded by their instructors as potential mentors, then supplied with a mentor during student teaching. Finding a mentor out in the field may be intimidating to new teachers, but it is critical (Conway, 2015). MTEs likely to encounter practicing teachers in graduate programs or in professional development might consider how to incorporate preparation to mentor new music educators, as it may not be as intuitive for mentors as is typically assumed (Conway & Holcomb, 2008). Novice teachers struggling with burnout symptoms may need help at several junctures: recognizing when their experiences are atypical, finding ways to address those experiences before they reach a critical level, and understanding leaving a teaching position that is not a good fit for them after a reasonable period of time (in Eleanor’s case, 5 years) does not indicate failure as a music teacher or constitute a reason for leaving the profession.

Ethical Considerations

Because narrative inquiry is a co-constructed research method, I endeavored to remain cognizant of the ethical issues inherent in the researcher-participant relationship (Clandinin et al., 2007). The narrow time frame for data collection is a limitation of this study. However, readers should consider the use of multiple types of data and participant feedback a strength of this study when evaluating the trustworthiness of the narrative (Creswell & Poth, 2018).

Conclusion

Eleanor experienced a perfect storm of challenges as a novice educator: colleagues who were unable to be supportive due to dealing with their own emotional exhaustion, hostile administrators, a community for which Eleanor was not a good fit and one she did not thoroughly understand, and a teaching philosophy in which she took personal responsibility for problems outside her control while seeking to change too much too quickly. Those difficult 5 years were followed by a move to a district with colleagues, students, and a school community who welcomed her gently into a short-term teaching position. Finally, she arrived at her current teaching job, a better fit for her personality and philosophy, surrounded by colleagues who challenged and supported her in healthy ways. Perhaps the story of Eleanor’s experience may serve as an example of how a teacher at high risk for permanently leaving music education persevered in finding the right teaching position and thus remained in the profession. Eleanor struggled in a combination of predictable and unusual ways, each of which could serve as a starting point for a discussion of potential pitfalls new teachers may face. Her story speaks to the importance of MTEs helping their students develop realistic expectations for new teacher success, unpack hegemonic assumptions about teaching, recognize the importance of finding good mentors in the field, and understand the difference between normal struggles and a teaching position that is a poor fit. To do otherwise risks losing bright, passionate, caring individuals from the profession—teachers who may become the future leaders and advocates for change and growth that benefits music education as a whole.

Supplemental Material

sj-docx-1-jmt-10.1177_1057083720984438 – Supplemental material for “It Felt Like I Had Air Back in My Lungs”: Eleanor’s Journey Back From Burnout

Supplemental material, sj-docx-1-jmt-10.1177_1057083720984438 for “It Felt Like I Had Air Back in My Lungs”: Eleanor’s Journey Back From Burnout by Allison M. Paetz in Journal of Music Teacher Education

Footnotes

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Eleanor for her time and willingness to share her story, and Lisa Koops and Karen Salvador for their assistance in critiquing this manuscript.

Author’s Note

Allison Paetz is a part-time PhD student at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, OH and a full-time music teacher at Rocky River High School in Rocky River, OH.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Allison M. Paetz

Supplemental Material

Supplemental material for this article is available online.

Notes

References

Bates

V. C.

(2011). Sustainable school music for poor, white, rural students. Action, Criticism & Theory for Music Education, 10(2), 100–127. http://act.maydaygroup.org/articles/Bates10_2.pdf

Benedict

(2007). Naming our reality. Philosophy of Music Education Review, 15(1), 23–35. https://doi.org/10.2979/pme.2007.15.1.23

Brookfield

S. D.

(2017). Becoming a critically reflective teacher (2nd ed.). Jossey-Bass.

Clandinin

D. J.

Connelly

F. M.

(2000). Narrative inquiry: Experience and story in qualitative research. Jossey-Bass.

Clandinin

D. J.

Pushor

Orr

A. M.

(2016). Navigating sites for narrative inquiry. Journal of Teacher Education, 58(1), 21–35. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022487106296218

Clandinin

D. J.

Rosiek

(2007). Mapping a landscape of narrative inquiry: Borderland spaces and tensions. In Clandinin

D. J.

(Ed.), Handbook of narrative inquiry: Mapping a methodology (pp. 35–76). SAGE Publications. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781452226552

Conway

(2001). What has research told us about the beginning music teacher? Journal of Music Teacher Education, 10(2), 14–22. https://doi.org/10.1177/10570837010100020104

Conway

(2015). The experiences of first-year music teachers. Update: Applications of Research in Music Education, 33(2), 65–72. https://doi.org/10.1177/8755123314547911

Conway

Holcomb

(2008). Perceptions of experienced music teachers regarding their work as music mentors. Journal of Research in Music Education, 56(1), 55–67. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022429408323073

10.

Creswell

J. W.

Poth

C. N.

(2018). Qualitative inquiry and research design (4th ed.). Sage.

11.

Dewey

(1938). Experience and education. Simon & Schuster.

12.

Draves

T. J.

(2012). Amy’s leaving story: A narrative of music teacher attrition. In Thompson

L. K.

Campbell

M. R.

(Eds.), Situating inquiry: Expanded venues for music education research (pp. 55–79). Information Age Publishing.

13.

Emerson

R. M.

Fretz

R. I.

Shaw

L. L.

(2011). Writing ethnographic fieldnotes (2nd ed.). University of Chicago Press.

14.

Gallo

D. J.

(2018). Mentoring and first-year teacher supports: How do music educators measure up? Bulletin of the Council for Research in Music Education, 217, 7–26. https://doi.org/10.5406/bulcouresmusedu.217.0007

15.

Gardner

R. D.

(2010). Should I stay or should I go? Factors that influence the retention, turnover, and attrition of K–12 music teachers in the United States. Arts Education Policy Review, 111(3), 112–121. https://doi.org/10.1080/10632910903458896

16.

Hamann

D. L.

Daugherty

Mills

C. R.

(1987). An investigation of burnout assessment and potential job related variables among public school music educators. Psychology of Music, 15(2), 128–140. https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735687152002

17.

Hancock

C. B.

(2009). National estimates of retention, migration, and attrition: A multiyear comparison of music and non-music teachers. Journal of Research in Music Education, 57(2), 92–107. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022429409337299

18.

Hancock

C. B.

(2016). Is the grass greener? Current and former music teachers’ perceptions a year after moving to a different school or leaving the classroom. Journal of Research in Music Education, 63(4), 421–438. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022429415612191

19.

Kelchtermans

Ballet

(2002). The micropolitics of teacher induction. A narrative-biographical study on teacher socialisation. Teaching and Teacher Education, 18(1), 105–120. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0742-051X(01)00053-1

20.

Koza

J. E.

(2006). “Save the music?” Toward culturally relevant, joyful, and sustainable school music. Philosophy of Music Education Review, 14(1), 23–38. www-jstor-org.web.bisu.edu.cn/stable/40316826

21.

Krueger

P. J.

(2000). Beginning music teachers: Will they leave the profession? Update: Applications of Research in Music Education, 19(1), 22–26. https://doi.org/10.1177/875512330001900105

22.

Kyriacou

(2001). Teacher stress: Directions for future research. Educational Review, 53(1), 27–35. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131910120033628

23.

Lind

V. L.

McKoy

C. L.

(2016). Culturally responsive teaching in music education: From understanding to application. Routledge.

24.

Maslach

Schaufeli

W. B.

Leiter

M. P.

(2001). Job burnout. Annual Review of Psychology, 52(1), 397–422. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.397

25.

McLain

B. P.

(2005). Environmental support and music teacher burnout. Bulletin of the Council for Research in Music Education, 164, 71–84. www-jstor-org.web.bisu.edu.cn/stable/40319261

26.

Noddings

(1988). An ethic of caring and its implications for instructional arrangements. American Journal of Education, 96(2), 215–230. https://doi.org/10.1086/443894

27.

Polkinghorne

D. E.

(1988). Narrative knowing and the human sciences. SUNY Press.

28.

Robinson

(2010). From the band room to the general music classroom: Why instrumentalists choose to teach general music. Bulletin of the Council for Research in Music Education, 185, 33–48. www-jstor-org.web.bisu.edu.cn/stable/41110364

29.

Russell

J. A.

(2012). The short and long-term career plans of secondary music educators: Characteristics of stayers, movers, and leavers. Bulletin of the Council for Research in Music Education, 191, 61–80. https://doi.org/10.5406/bulcouresmusedu.191.0061

30.

Scheib

J. W.

(2003). Role stress in the professional life of the school music teacher. Journal of Research in Music Education, 51(2), 124–136. https://doi.org/10.2307/3345846

31.

Seidman

(2006). Interviewing as qualitative research: A guide for researchers in education and the social sciences (3rd ed.). Teachers College.

32.

Shaw

J. T.

(2018). Alleviating praxis shock: Induction policy and programming for urban music educators. Arts Education Policy Review, 119(1), 25–35. https://doi.org/10.1080/10632913.2016.1185655

33.

Sindberg

Lipscomb

S. D.

(2005). Professional isolation and the public school music teacher. Bulletin of the Council for Research in Music Education, 166, 43–56. www-jstor-org.web.bisu.edu.cn/stable/40319279

34.

Skaalvik

E. M.

Skaalvik

(2010). Teacher self-efficacy and teacher burnout: A study of relations. Teaching and Teacher Education, 26(4), 1059–1069. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2009.11.001

35.

Skaalvik

E. M.

Skaalvik

(2017). Teacher stress and teacher self-efficacy: Relations and consequences. In McIntyre

T. M.

McIntyre

S. E.

Francis

D. J.

(Eds.), Educator stress: An occupational health perspective (pp. 101–125). Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-53053-6_5

36.

Smith

T. M.

Ingersoll

R. M.

(2004). What are the effects of induction and mentoring on beginning teacher turnover? American Educational Research Journal, 41(3), 681–714. https://doi.org/10.3102/01623737026003681

37.

Steffy

B. E.

Wolfe

M. P.

(2001). A life-cycle model for career teachers. Kappa Delta Pi Record, 38(1), 16–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/00228958.2001.10518508

Supplementary Material

Please find the following supplemental material available below.

For Open Access articles published under a Creative Commons License, all supplemental material carries the same license as the article it is associated with.

For non-Open Access articles published, all supplemental material carries a non-exclusive license, and permission requests for re-use of supplemental material or any part of supplemental material shall be sent directly to the copyright owner as specified in the copyright notice associated with the article.

0.00 MB

0.02 MB