Navigating Parenthood: A Study of Family Formation and Parenting Experiences Among Same-sex Couples in the Philippines

Abstract

This qualitative research study explored the family formation processes and parenting experiences of same-sex couples in the unique socio-cultural context of the Philippines. While same-sex relationships and LGBTQ + rights have gained increasing recognition globally, the Philippines remains a conservative society with deeply rooted traditional norms and religious influences. It delved into the complexities of family formation, including relationship initiation, and decision-making processes regarding parenting. Findings suggest that same-sex couples in the Philippines employ diverse strategies to create families, such as adoption, and raising children of a family relative. These strategies are often influenced by factors such as familial support, and socio-cultural norms. The parenting experiences of same-sex couples revealed both shared challenges, such as discrimination and exclusion, as well as unique opportunities for reshaping traditional gender roles within the household. By highlighting the lived experiences of these couples, this study advocates for a more inclusive understanding of family structures and challenges the prevailing heteronormative discourse. The findings underscored the need for policy initiatives that safeguard the rights of LGBTQ + individuals and families, while fostering social acceptance and understanding within the Philippines’ cultural framework.

Keywords

same-sex parenting same-sex couples discrimination lived experiences

Introduction

In the contemporary era of globalization, the concept of the family as a foundational institution has undergone significant transformations across cultural, social, economic, and political dimensions (Solheim, 2011). According to Seibert and Willetts (2000), the evolving landscape of marriage and divorce rates, shifting fertility patterns, and the emergence of single-parent households has contributed to changing family structures. Notably, there has been an increase in non-traditional household compositions, including those without blood relations, a surge in both female-led and male-led families, and a concurrent decline in households consisting of married couples. These transformations have been driven by shifts in societal institutions, the growing presence of women in the workforce, evolving governmental laws and policies, the forces of industrialization and globalization, and a broader acceptance of diverse lifestyles and cultural practices. As a result, the cultural milieu has become more conducive to embracing a range of family configurations. This has given rise to the prevalence of blended families, single-parent households, cohabiting couples of diverse sexual orientations, same-sex marriages, and marriages without children (Seibert and Willetts, 2000).

In the Philippines, findings from a survey revealed that both religious beliefs and legal considerations pose challenges to the acceptance of same-sex relationships and parenthood (UNDP & USAID, 2014). Despite these challenges, the presence of same-sex relationships and families continues to persist within Philippine society. It is argued that although these families might be a minority, their existence is firmly rooted within our social fabric. Even though they represent a relatively small portion of all couples, the inclusion of same-sex couples offers valuable insights into the broader understanding of family dynamics (Rosenfeld, 2010).

Lamboy (2009) asserts that parenthood encompasses the role of being a parent, involving both the responsibilities of a mother or father and the collaborative partnership with one's co-parent. This journey involves undergoing transformations in one's identity, grappling with unrealistic expectations, prioritizing self-care to effectively care for others, and jointly navigating the process with a partner. As same-sex couples embark on the path to parenthood, they face a distinctive set of challenges. Unlike traditional notions of conceiving children, the conventional methods are not viable options for same-sex couples.

As outlined by Linville et al. (2011), the journey to parenthood for same-sex couples in the Philippines can encompass a variety of pathways, such as through prior heterosexual relationships, adopting the role of foster or step parents. Navigating the course towards parenthood for these couples often involves a complex mix of emotions and challenges. Some of these couples may also already have children from previous relationships. The establishment of family systems by same-sex couples is marked by distinct challenges.

In the context of the Philippines, the discourse surrounding same-sex marriage remains a topic of intense debate. However, irrespective of the dialogue within and beyond religious contexts, it is unlikely for same-sex marriage to become widely accepted as a societal norm in the country. Pronouncements within religious doctrines may potentially reflect the prevailing attitudes towards same-sex couples cohabiting as parents within the framework of a conventional family structure.

A study shows that there are major issues affecting same-sex parented families that are often addressed in therapy according to Linville et al. (2011): (1) discrimination in parenting and custody arrangements; (2) many co-parenting and blended family complexities for same-sex parents like discrimination, stereotypes, and assumptions; (3) relationships and problems with non-biological parent figures simply due to the biological complexities involved with conceiving children when parents are the same-sex; (4) acknowledging intimate relationships differently by extended families in same-sex relationships, with discriminatory treatment potentially confounded by parenting relationships; (5) the complex problem of explaining relationship status and family makeup to school professionals, medical professionals, children's friends/parents, as well as explaining relationship status and family makeup to children; (6) same-sex parents’ ability to accept and acknowledge their identity and how they are able to negotiate living in a heterosexist, homophobic, or otherwise discriminatory society, while rearing their children in a family unit that is not socially sanctioned.

With LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights making big advances in Philippine legislation through the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Expression (SOGIE) Equality Bill, more gay couples are coming forth to challenge the stereotype that their relationships are deplorable and offensive. In a setting such as the Philippines where religion and political orientation often have disagreements, it is worth examining first the plight of same-sex couples in the country. This is to shape a grounded discourse on same-sex parenting in promoting equal rights for Filipinos of different groups and identities. Moreover, the socio-cultural phenomenon of two women and two men romantically involved as a couple, coming together to find a way to become parents is relatively a new phenomenon in the Philippines – and studies on this area are limited. Thus, this study is advanced to understand the lived experiences of same-sex couples in their journey towards parenthood. Specifically, it sought to answer the following questions: (1) What are the issues and challenges faced by same-sex couples in their journey towards parenthood?; and (2) How do same-sex couples cope with the issues and challenges they face in their journey towards parenthood?

Method

Research Design and Procedure

This is a qualitative research that sought in-depth understanding of the social phenomena under study. It focused on the “why” rather than the “what” of social phenomena and relies on the direct experiences of the participants as meaning-making agents in their everyday lives (Creswell, 1998). Thus, this research employed phenomenology to bring forth a thick description of the experiences of same-sex couples on their way to parenthood. The deliberate inclusion of three same-sex couples in this study aimed to ensure a thorough exploration of the diverse experiences within the realm of same-sex parenting. By featuring a gay couple, a lesbian couple, and a bisexual couple, the research sought to encompass a spectrum of perspectives, recognizing the multifaceted nature of same-sex parenthood. Each selected couple demonstrated an admirable five years of consistent co-residential stability, providing a robust foundation for delving into the long-term dynamics of their parenting journeys. The intentional selection of three couples was designed to enrich and deepen the data collected. The variation in sexual orientation and relationship dynamics among the participants facilitated a nuanced exploration of the challenges, aspirations, and resilience inherent in the path to parenthood within the same-sex context. The purposive strategy employed for participant selection, relying on snowball referrals from individuals within the researcher's network, ensured a deliberate and thoughtful approach to recruitment. Mitigating potential biases was a primary concern in this study, prompting the implementation of measures to minimize their influence on the research process. The semi-structured interview approach provided flexibility, allowing participants to articulate their experiences in their own terms. Additionally, the researcher meticulously adhered to the six-step phenomenological method outlined by van Manen (1990) to guide the analysis process. This method offered a systematic and rigorous framework, reducing the impact of the researcher's preconceptions and allowing the participants’ narratives to authentically unfold.

This study adhered to the ethical principles established by the Philippine Health Research Ethics Board (2017) during its execution. These principles, namely: (a) obtaining informed consent, (b) safeguarding confidentiality and privacy, (c) upholding the right to withdraw, and (d) ensuring research integrity, were conscientiously observed throughout the research process.

Profile of the Participants

Inclusion in the study necessitated that participants meet specific criteria established by the researcher: (a) maintaining a minimum cohabitation period of five years, (b) assuming roles analogous to those of husband and wife, as well as those of mother and father, (c) having experience in raising a child through avenues such as adoption, child fostering, or having children born out of wedlock from a prior heterosexual relationship, and (d) sharing resources mutually.

All participants held professional positions, indicating their completion of a four-year degree program. In terms of their sources of income, the bisexual couple operated as freelance fashion artists, the lesbian couple engaged in a small business endeavor, with one partner concurrently working as a call center agent, and the other gay couple owned and managed a parlor.

Couple A, consisting of Martin* (24 years old) and Mark* (26 years old), openly acknowledged their bisexual orientations. Their relationship, falling within the same-sex spectrum, has thrived for nearly five years. Originally from the Northern region of the Philippines, the couple made a crucial decision to relocate to the Iloilo Province, aiming to start a new chapter in their lives. Hailing from families grounded in conservative values, Martin and Mark faced a challenging struggle to conceal their authentic identities. Their journey was characterized by significant challenges arising from the necessity to keep their sexual orientation hidden. Presently, the couple is joined by a foster child who has been living with them for 3 years. Living in an environment where societal acceptance of same-sex relationships remains elusive, Martin and Mark articulate the difficulties they encounter. Their experiences are further compounded by their current occupation as freelance fashion artists, which also shapes their daily lives.

Couple B, composed of Jenifer* (27 years old) and Naneth* (29 years old), emphatically express, “We find immense happiness in the companionship of seven years.” Jenifer, holding a degree in AB Mass Communication, is employed as a call center agent, while Naneth, having earned a degree in Business Administration, actively manages a small-scale business. The couple's relationship originated during their college days and formally solidified into a cohabiting partnership seven years ago. Notably, they openly share their relationship with their respective families. Residing together, Jenifer and Naneth also share their lives with a 6-year-old adopted daughter.

Couple C, consisting of Carlo* (25 years old) and Marlon* (28 years old), who openly identify as gay, resonate with the sentiment “Love emerges triumphant, but the same cannot be said for the Philippines.” They reside together on the Island of Negros Occidental and own a parlor in one of its cities. Marlon articulates his desire for a wedding, a dream he has cherished for nearly 5 years. Their journey as a same-sex couple, however, has been marked by considerable challenges. Having shared their lives for nearly a decade, Carlo and Marlon also share the experience of managing a business parlor, which they have successfully operated for a decade as well. The couple attributes their business to having brought them fortune and favor, affording them the means to purchase a house and lot within a subdivision. In addition to their professional and personal accomplishments, Couple C's household is enriched by the presence of an adopted 10-year-old boy.

Findings and Discussions

The study's findings unveiled three fundamental themes encapsulating the participants’ lived experiences: (1) Matrimony, Partnerships, and Adoption; (2) The Evolution into Parenthood: Roles and Anticipated Challenges; and (3) Embracing Parenthood and Envisioning the Future.

Matrimony, Partnerships, and Adoption

Negotiating a same-sex relationship in a predominantly Catholic nation such as the Philippines undoubtedly presents numerous challenges. This issue remains a subject of ongoing debates across different sectors of society. Despite a growing public awareness of same-sex couples, these couples still face the lack of widespread social and governmental support (Power et al., 2010). Participants conveyed that their relationships encounter various legal and cultural hurdles, as such partnerships continue to be stigmatized in many circles. The theme features the experiences of three couples, each represented by pseudonyms: Couple A (Mark*), Couple B (Naneth*), and Couple C (Carlo* and Marlon*). Their narratives shed light on the legal, cultural, and emotional hurdles faced by same-sex couples in the Philippines.

Legal and Cultural Challenges: Couple A expressed the emotional pain resulting from the lack of societal acceptance, considering marriage in a foreign land as a potential solution. Couple C shared similar sentiments, emphasizing the unavailability of legislation supporting their union in the Philippines. Naneth* from Couple B detailed their emotional journey, highlighting the resilience developed over seven years in the face of widespread scrutiny.

Resilience Amid Discrimination: Despite persistent discrimination, the couples remained steadfast in their commitment to each other. Couple C, consisting of Carlo* and Marlon*, emphasized enduring love and shared dreams, even in the face of potential separation. The study suggests that discriminatory laws and societal prejudices impact the lives of same-sex couples pursuing parenthood.

Parenthood as a Deliberate Choice: Many participants, including Couple B, expressed a deliberate desire for parenthood. Jenifer* discussed their dream of becoming parents and the challenges in achieving it, considering surrogacy and in vitro fertilization. Couple C detailed their journey in fostering a child, overcoming initial family hesitancy, and highlighting the importance of a supportive family environment.

Supportive Family Dynamics: The participants’ ability to navigate challenges is closely tied to the support they receive from family members, transcending their sexual orientation. Couple A faced complexities in the adoption process, hindered by the absence of legal recognition for same-sex unions in the Philippines. The study emphasizes the need for policymakers to understand the multifaceted nature of family formation in the current era.

Couple A, represented by Mark*, shared their shared experiences as a couple:

Despite successfully keeping our relationship confidential for an extended period, it's hard to ignore the emotional pain arising from the realization that our deep affection is not widely accepted. Our dedication to each other goes beyond mere promises; we have also intertwined our aspirations for the future. The recurring dream of getting married, unfortunately, remains unfulfilled. This is especially disheartening in the Philippines, where our unique love story has yet to find its rightful place. As a result, considering marriage in a foreign land has consistently emerged as a viable option for us.

Couple C, represented by Carlo*, also grapples with a similar challenge:

We continually consider the prospect of legal marriage, aiming for acknowledgment from the government for our union. Unfortunately, the current situation in the Philippines makes this aspiration unachievable, as there is no existing legislation that supports our cause. Although marrying abroad and potentially building a life there is an option, our constraints in terms of resources limit this choice.

Couple B, represented by Naneth*, openly shared their emotional journey, emphasizing that over the course of seven years, they have developed the resilience to confront criticism directed at them as a same-sex couple. This unwelcome scrutiny has infiltrated various aspects of their lives, extending from their homes to their workplaces and beyond. In response to these challenges, they have opted to live together, finding comfort in each other's steadfast support. Jenifer* added:

After cohabiting for nearly seven years, we have come to the profound realization that our compatibility is undeniable. Our journey, marked by its highs and lows, has served to strengthen our bond. The challenging nature of our relationship has ultimately empowered both of us. Through this shared experience, we have not only witnessed each other's strengths but also our vulnerabilities. Despite the absence of formal recognition, we have become each other's family, filling a void that our own families weren't able to. Whether or not we have children, whether through adoption or not, is immaterial. Our love, complete and enduring, transcends any external circumstances.

Couples affirmed their resilience in the face of persistent discrimination and scrutiny, remaining steadfast in their lives and love, unaffected by external opinions. The duration of their partnerships has subjected them to a comprehensive array of emotional trials. Couple C, consisting of Carlo* and Marlon*, echoes these shared sentiments:

Despite experiencing thoughts of parting ways, we have inexplicably endured, continuing to love and hold onto our shared dreams. Like any profound love story and aspiration, obstacles inevitably arise, challenging our path to realization. Ironically, the very foundation meant to uphold the ideals of love and aspirations—such as the ability for LGBTQ + couples like us to marry—seems to be the one that hinders us. The Philippines, in its continued conservatism, presents a formidable barrier, and we are at the forefront of its impact. Even in the process of adoption, a pursuit we deeply desire, the path has proven arduous. The weight of my frustration with the government grows, stemming from both the inability to marry and the rejection of adoption. These experiences are directly linked to the discriminatory laws enforced by the government.

Participants frequently faced prejudice, experiencing it either on a personal level or within institutional contexts where government support for same-sex couples pursuing parenthood is lacking. Policymakers and societal entities must develop an understanding of the multifaceted nature of family formation in this era (Evertsson et al., 2020). The decision of these couples to embark on parenthood was deliberate and driven by strong motivation. A notable number of participants assumed the role of secondary parents to their nephews or nieces. Jenifer* from Couple B shared her perspective:

Since we decided to live together as a couple, it has always been a dream for us to become parents and have our own child/ren. We have considered surrogacy and in vitro fertilization. However, in the Philippines, there is no law on surrogacy, and in vitro is too expensive. So, we reached out to some of our family members to see if we can support or foster one of their children in all their needs, especially in education.

Initially, Couple C conveyed the initial hesitancy of their family in embracing their plan to foster their nephew. There was a genuine concern that children raised in families with same-sex parents might grapple with apprehensions about societal perceptions and the possibility of being treated differently. These were valid worries for the child they were considering fostering. In response, Couple C took it upon themselves to alleviate these fears by emphasizing the depth of love and care they intended to provide for their niece. As trust between the family members grew, the child's biological parents granted their consent. The focus of their arrangement revolved more around fostering the child, with legal adoption not being discussed. This aligns with the observations made by Peel et al. (2022), where participants placed profound importance on the presence of a supportive and understanding family environment. A similar situation unfolded for Couple C. Marlon* remarked:

In assuming parental roles, our approach centers on leveraging each other's individual strengths and abilities. Rather than conforming to societal stereotypes of what is traditionally considered “motherly” or “fatherly,” we prioritize our respective capacities.

Moreover, the participants’ ability to endure and overcome their circumstances is closely linked to the encouragement they receive from their family members. This support extends beyond their sexual orientation and encompasses various dimensions of their identities (Jaspal & Breakwell, 2021). On the contrary, Couple A expressed a desire to adopt a child. Nonetheless, right from the beginning, the adoption process in the Philippines is intricate, often entailing several years before approval is granted. This is compounded by the additional layer of complexity due to their status as a same-sex couple. From Couple A, Mark* conveyed:

As a same-sex couple, we firmly believe in our ability to responsibly undertake all the obligations and privileges that come with providing parental care. We both possess commendable moral character, and our records are devoid of any convictions related to offenses of moral turpitude.

Martin* further stated:

Mark and I have harbored aspirations of adopting a child for quite some time. We meet the stipulated criteria concerning age prerequisites. However, we encounter an obstacle regarding the prerequisite for prospective parents, which necessitates a minimum marital duration of three years, with no more than two divorces between them.

According to Go-Evangelista (2006), the absence of legal recognition for same-sex unions in the Philippines implies that same-sex couples are typically unable to jointly apply for adoption as parents. However, as per the eligibility prerequisites governing domestic adoption in the Philippines, no explicit legislation obstructs LGBTQ + individuals from adopting children. The criteria for becoming prospective adopters do not factor in the adopter's sexual orientation or gender identity. Upon settling on the adoption route, the journey proved arduous and time-intensive for these same-sex couples. Given their vulnerability within the adoption process, they encountered prejudiced stereotypes and attitudes that adversely impacted their prospects for adoption.

The Evolution into Parenthood: Roles and Anticipated Challenges

Creating the foundation for this family structure in the Philippines presents a notable challenge. The mental well-being and social interactions of the participants experienced a downturn as they transitioned into parenthood. However, the support from family and friends played a vital role in facilitating their adjustment. The couples unanimously agreed that parenthood was a cherished aspiration, as reflected in the following:

Transition into Parenthood: The participants underwent a decline in mental well-being and social interactions during the shift into parenthood. However, the crucial support from family and friends played a pivotal role in aiding their adaptation. Despite the anticipated challenges, all couples unanimously considered parenthood a cherished aspiration.

Division of Responsibilities: Martin* from Couple A outlined a clear division of responsibilities in their household structure. Recognizing each other's strengths, he emphasized managing external affairs, while his partner oversees internal dynamics, particularly in relation to their foster child. The participants acknowledged societal obstacles but found solace in the unwavering love and support of their partners and allies.

Embracing Parenthood: Couple C, represented by Carlo* and Marlon*, highlighted their relationship's openness and mutual collaboration in embracing the role of foster parents. They emphasized addressing every facet impacting their future child's well-being comprehensively. Couple B, represented by Naneth*, affirmed their commitment to both maternal and paternal responsibilities in nurturing a child's growth.

Parenting Roles and Responsibilities: Participants expressed their readiness to embrace the responsibilities of parenthood. Jenifer* from Couple B envisioned a role akin to that of a mother, offering emotional support and guidance to their child. The avenue to parenthood primarily involved the foster care system, leading to heightened responsibilities evaluated in light of individual inclinations and socio-economic capacities.

Social and Familial Impact: Participants experienced shifts in social networks and familial connections as they became parents. Relationships within extended families became more tightly-knit, echoing findings from previous research. Martin* from Couple A emphasized the significance of their journey in amplifying their connection with family members.

Resilience in Societal and Political Context: Despite societal and political challenges, participants derived pride from their approach as same-sex parents. They remained resilient in the face of discriminatory views, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging the socio-political context in which their journey unfolded.

Comparable to any dream, participants steadfastly manage the challenges intrinsic to being parents. Couple A's Martin* shared his narrative:

I am fully aware that the road ahead won't be without its challenges, and there will certainly be moments of chaos. Nonetheless, I am confident that we will successfully navigate it together. Given my proficiency in financial affairs, it seems prudent for me to assume the responsibility in this area. Conversely, my partner possesses a remarkable ability to connect with his emotions and convey them effectively. He also exhibits strong empathy, making him well-suited to oversee the internal dynamics of our family. I envision that our household structure will involve a clear division between external and internal responsibilities. I intend to take charge of matters outside our home, while he assumes the role of tending to internal affairs, particularly in relation to our foster child. Despite the societal obstacles, I find solace in the unwavering love and support of my partner, along with the unwavering belief of those who stand behind us.

All participants were fully cognizant of the weight of the responsibility they were about to undertake, compounded by the anticipation of encountering discrimination and apathy. Nevertheless, they remained steadfast in recognizing the positive aspects of becoming parents, with the benefits far outweighing any negative perceptions directed at them. In a similar thought, Farr et al.'s (2016) study highlighted the constructive outlook of same-sex couples, simultaneously acknowledging the hurdles they must overcome.

Couple C, represented by Carlo* and Marlon*, delved into their narratives, elucidating that their relationship thrives on openness and mutual collaboration in all endeavors. Their decision to embrace the role of foster parents is a result of shared consensus. They firmly hold the belief that every facet impacting the well-being of their future child will be addressed comprehensively and handled in unity by both of them:

Absolutely, we each bring our individual strengths to the table. For instance, I excel at managing household affairs, yet I value and heed my partner's insights on effective execution. Similarly, my partner handles matters concerning social dynamics and finances, a responsibility we collectively manage while respecting each other's capabilities. We comprehend the weight and challenges that accompany parenthood, and we stand well-prepared and resolute to embrace those responsibilities. Welcoming a foster child into our lives feels akin to adding the perfect finishing touch to our relationship. It's an enriching enhancement that complements our humble journey. Furthermore, the knowledge and wisdom we've accumulated over the years of our partnership will undoubtedly find practical application in our parenting, should the state grant us that opportunity.

Couple B, represented by Naneth*, likewise affirmed a similar dynamic:

Undoubtedly, parenthood embodies an immense responsibility. It transcends the mere provisions of shelter, nourishment, and attire, encompassing a profound role as caregivers. Our commitment entails embracing both maternal and paternal responsibilities to nurture a child. Fostering their growth into the finest iteration of themselves presents an immense duty – one that places us as the measure of their achievements and the guiding force throughout their journey.

Jenifer* also shared:

While we haven't yet fully comprehended the intricate dynamics of parental roles, we remain hopeful and enthusiastic about the journey ahead. It's a dream we're nurturing, and if granted by both the state and providence, it would be an invaluable blessing that we would hold dear. In considering the potential division of parenting roles, I believe I'm best suited to handle the emotional aspects. Within our social construct, I foresee myself fulfilling a role akin to that of a mother—offering encouragement, guidance, and support to our child as they navigate their emotional challenges and endeavors.

The avenue to parenthood for same-sex couples primarily involved the foster care system. Progressing from being a same-sex couple to becoming same-sex parents ushered in a heightened level of responsibilities, accompanied by an array of distinct challenges and advantages. These factors were evaluated in light of their individual inclinations and socio-economic capacities (Mitchell & Green, 2007).

Participants also experienced notable shifts in their social networks and familial connections. As they embarked on the journey to parenthood, relationships within their extended families became more tightly-knit. Couples observed that their bond with their own families deepened further when their child became a part of their lives through fostering. This echoes findings from the research by Bergman et al. (2010), which similarly documented the presence of such social support within same-sex families. Martin* from Couple A conveyed:

The significance of our journey into parenthood is amplified by the unwavering love and support we receive from our family members. As we collectively embrace the role of second parents to our nephew and contribute to the broader family dynamic, our connection with one another becomes more tightly-knit. Our commitment as a couple extends to a willingness to explore various arrangements that prioritize the well-being and welfare of our family, particularly in the context of parenthood.

Participants derive a sense of pride from their approach, emotions, and behaviors as same-sex parents. They remain resilient in the face of societal and political views regarding their status as same-sex couples and parents. This exemplifies the necessity of acknowledging the socio-political context in which the research was undertaken. Parents articulate their aspirations for their family to fulfill the fundamental needs, particularly those of their child, aligning with societal expectations of parental roles.

Embracing Parenthood and Envisioning the Future

From the very beginning, the participants were involved in nurturing and affectionate relationships, characterized by a mutual eagerness to embrace the responsibilities of becoming parents and raising a child. This is evident in the following:

Challenges of Societal Acceptance: The participants initiated their relationships with enthusiasm and a shared aspiration to become parents. However, they revealed that societal acceptance of same-sex parenting remains limited, with gender-based presumptions and attempts to undermine their caregiving roles. Martin* emphasized their commitment to providing comprehensive care, sustenance, and a promising future for their child despite societal misconceptions.

Family Backing and Societal Lag: While the evolution of same-sex couples into families is supported by their respective families, broader society and immediate communities still lag behind in accepting this family configuration.

Parental Drive and Resilience: The participants demonstrated an unwavering drive to safeguard their children's welfare, regardless of societal bias against same-sex families. Jenifer* expressed her readiness for adoption, emphasizing the potential for personal growth and the ability to provide love and opportunities for unattended children.

Navigating Conservative Backgrounds: The participants shared their challenges of maturing within conservative households, where they had to conceal their true selves. This period of self-suppression led to emotions of fear, sorrow, frustration, and disillusionment. As same-sex parents, they aspire to instill in their children a deep appreciation for love and humanity, emphasizing that regardless of sexual orientation, everyone deserves love and respect. Carlo* highlighted the importance of raising a virtuous individual with respect for others.

Sense of Accomplishment in Parenthood: Throughout their parenting journey, the participants consistently expressed a sense of accomplishment as both parents and same-sex couples. Their commitment to parenthood remained unwavering, marked by a profound emotional connection with their children that brought them joy. As exemplars, they demonstrated resilience in navigating life's trials, serving as models for facing challenges with hope and optimism each day.

Participants have encountered analogous gender-based presumptions as those faced by heterosexual individuals. Martin*, in articulating his sentiments on this matter, conveyed:

Those who lack an understanding of our situation have attempted to undermine the affection and care we extend to the child we are endeavoring to nurture. With the arrival of our child, we willingly embrace the profound duty of providing them with nurturing care, sustenance, safeguarding, affection, education, and the promise of a promising future.

The evolution of a same-sex couple into a family is underpinned by the backing of their respective families. Nevertheless, the immediate community and the broader society still lag behind in accepting this form of family configuration. This observation is corroborated by the findings of Mazrekaj et al. (2022), who noted that same-sex parents frequently encounter societal and structural discrimination as well as bias stemming from their sexual orientation. Mark*, Jenifer*, and Carlo*, much like Martin*, echoed similar sentiments, Mark* said:

I am propelled by a strong desire to become a parent, to be the individual who can provide them with a chance, a prospect, and the potential for success. I am genuinely committed to investing all that I have to be a nurturing and capable parent for my forthcoming child, ensuring that they receive the very best I can offer. Together with my partner, we are resolute in collaborating harmoniously to raise our future child. While our family structure may deviate from the conventional norms in the Philippines, I am unswervingly confident in its validity. We are equally capable of becoming the source of guidance and strength for our family.

The participants’ experiences underscored that their status as parents of a particular sexual orientation does not compromise their fervent drive to safeguard their children's welfare, even when confronted with bias directed at same-sex families. This observation aligns with the conclusions drawn by Titlestad and Robinson (2019), who similarly validated that same-sex parents exhibit a strong resolve to meet their parental obligations. Although societal prejudice poses a considerable hurdle for same-sex couples, it never deters them from persistently pursuing their aspirations. Jenifer* shared her perspective:

Should the legal framework allow it, my partner and I are wholeheartedly prepared to embrace adoption. Primarily, I have a preference for a boy if the opportunity arises, and this inclination is mutual between us. I am confident that he will receive the utmost care, as I believe that raising a child would contribute to both my partner's and my own personal growth. In terms of responsibilities, my partner will undertake the financial aspects concerning our future child, while I will attend to their mental and emotional needs – always with mutual consultation. If only the government recognized our capability as effective parents, numerous unattended children could find the love and opportunities they deserve, fostering not just affection but also the potential for success.”

Overtime, the participants have encountered the challenges of maturing within conservative households. These circumstances compelled them to conceal their true selves and assume identities that were not their own, enduring a prolonged period of self-suppression. They have candidly shared their emotions of fear, sorrow, frustration, and disillusionment in response to their families’ lack of acceptance, as well as the broader societal resistance to their same-sex relationships. In their current roles as same-sex parents, they aspire to imbue their children with a profound appreciation for love and humanity – a message that underscores the unyielding truth that regardless of one's sexual orientation, they deserve love and respect. Carlo* added:

I won't impose any undue pressure on him; my primary aspiration is for him to develop into a virtuous individual who discerns right from wrong. Equally vital is his rootedness and his ability to treat everyone with the utmost respect. In return, my partner and I are committed to providing him with exceptional parental care.

The participants’ sense of accomplishment as both parents and same-sex couples resonated consistently throughout their parenting journey. Their commitment to parenthood was unwavering, characterized by a distinct emotional connection with their children that brought them immense joy. Alongside nurturing their family's development, they also embraced their own personal growth. Aspired to be exemplars, they demonstrated resilience in the face of life's trials, imparting a model of navigating challenges with hope and optimism each day.

Conclusion

The study shed light on the distinctive challenges, aspirations, and resilience that mark same-sex couples’ journey to parenthood. Participants demonstrated unwavering commitment to fostering loving families despite encountering various obstacles. The findings provided insights into the crucial role of familial support in enabling these couples to overcome societal biases and establish a solid foundation for their children's upbringing. There was an interplay of responsibilities, emotional bonds, and personal growth within these families that revealed a genuine desire to transcend the constraints imposed by social norms, creating an environment that embraces diversity, love, and respect. As same-sex parents, their goal was to establish a nurturing haven for their children to thrive and serve as beacons of hope and positivity. However, it is imperative to acknowledge the study's limitations. The research is confined to the specific context of same-sex couples in the Philippines, and its findings may not have universal applicability and generalizability. Its broader implications prompt society to contemplate the significance of recognizing and validating all forms of family, regardless of sexual orientation. These narratives advocate for a reassessment of existing legal and societal frameworks to ensure equal recognition, support, and opportunities for same-sex couples in their journey as parents. Future research could delve deeper into the long-term effects of societal attitudes on the well-being of children raised by same-sex couples and explore the evolving dynamics within these families over time.

Implication to Practice

The research on the family formation and parenting experiences of same-sex couples in the Philippines holds significant implications for both practitioners and policymakers. This study brings to light three actionable insights that can guide practice and policy development to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for same-sex couples and their families: a) Awareness and Sensitivity Training - practitioners in healthcare, education, social services, and mental health should receive training to enhance their understanding of the unique challenges faced by same-sex couples. This training should emphasize cultural competence, inclusivity, and the importance of providing non-discriminatory care; b) Legal and Policy Reforms - policymakers should review existing laws and policies to ensure that they do not discriminate against same-sex couples. The study's findings can underscore the need for legal reforms to grant equal rights and recognition to same-sex families in areas such as adoption, and parental rights; and c) Education, Collaboration and Awareness Campaigns: Public awareness campaigns can play a pivotal role in dispelling misconceptions about same-sex families and promoting acceptance. These campaigns can be directed toward both the general public and schools to foster an inclusive environment for LGBTQ + students.

Footnotes

Acknowledgments

The author is grateful for the support from West Visayas State University, Philippines especially to the participants of the study.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Jeffrey R. Ballaret

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