Abstract
An autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnosis significantly influences an individual's social interactions and communication, which creates unique concerns for college students with ASD when forming romantic relationships. This nine-year study, involving 124 individuals with ASD provides implications for couples and family counselors supporting individuals with ASD seeking romantic connections.
Keywords
Despite the marital status in the U.S. steadily declining since the 1960s as well as the age of first marriage firmly increasing (U.S. Census Bureau, 2022), about half of singles continue to indicate an interest in dating or attaining romantic relationships (Pew Research Center, 2020). According to Pew Research Center (2020), even with the convenience of online dating, nearly half of U.S. adults reported that dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years and are dissatisfied with their dating life. For individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), which the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revised (DSM-5-TR) characterizes as experiencing social and communication deficits and restricted, repetitive behaviors (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2022), the challenges involved in dating and having a long-term committed relationship may be even greater than for the neurotypical population (Farley et al., 2017; Howlin & Moss, 2012). While most individuals with ASD desire a romantic relationship (Strunz et al., 2017), they may struggle with seeking and attaining a romantic relationship and engage in miscommunication and inappropriate communication or behaviors toward their romantic interests (Mogavero & Hsu, 2020).
With the prevalence rate of individuals with ASD increasing (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2023) and the prevalence rate of college students with ASD rising (Bakker et al., 2019), additional support to assist this population in navigating social areas may be needed. This additional support may be beneficial for the increasingly larger population of college students with ASD, because, unfortunately, loneliness among college students with ASD is prevalent due to limited social skills (Jobe & White, 2007). Counselors have emphasized the need for social interventions with individuals with ASD (Kunzi, 2015); however, additional support in navigating romantic relationships may be warranted. For all individuals, including individuals with ASD, romantic relationships are among the most captivating yet anxiety-inducing opportunities to test one's social skills. While individuals with ASD experience unique concerns seeking and attaining romantic relationships, counselors possess limited experience working with adults with ASD (Cooper et al., 2018) much less working with this population for specific issues such as attaining romantic relationships. Therefore, counselors including couples and family counselors would benefit from additional exposure and information concerning supporting individuals with ASD in seeking and attaining romantic relationships.
Purpose of the Study
The purpose of this study is to provide insight into college students with ASD experiences while seeking romantic relationships. This research is the second installment in a series of research projects studying college students with ASD. Specifically, this project expands on previous research that explored the experiences of college students with ASD in maintaining romantic relationships (Noble et al., 2024a). The research questions explored were “what were the experiences of college students with ASD seeking to attain a romantic relationship?” and “what are the attitudes of college students with ASD toward attaining romantic relationships?” Through reviewing almost 10 years of data from a program that supports high functioning college students with autism, we were able to identify themes relevant to college students with ASD experiences in seeking romantic relationships. As a result of investigating participants’ experiences, counselors can understand and address the unique concerns this population may encounter in attaining romantic relationships. Therefore, this study will provide implications for counseling practice and recommendations for future research.
Program
This study is based on the Connections for Academic Success and Employment (CASE) Program, which is a program at a 4-year public university designed to assist college students with ASD and other developmental disabilities in navigating college and achieving their career and personal goals. The program offers each student the support of a Learning Specialist who is dedicated to helping their students utilize their strengths to pursue their aspirations. The CASE program encourages students to pursue educational, social, and vocational goals, while also striving for autonomy and independence in their lives. To be eligible for the program, students must be enrolled in the university, working toward a college degree in their chosen field, and have an ASD diagnosis or developmental disability.
Throughout the semester, students in the CASE program meet with their Learning Specialist at least once a week and attend WRAParound meetings four times per semester. Each of these meetings provides support and a layer of accountability for the students in the program to continually pursue their goals. The purpose of the WRAParound meetings is to review students’ individual goals, consult with their team on strategies for achieving those goals, and address any concerns or challenges students may be facing. Attendees of the WRAParound meetings include the student, the student's Learning Specialist, and other members of the student's WRAP team, which typically comprises professionals from various departments across campus, such as Student Disability Services, Career Center Services, and Counseling Services. In addition to the meetings, students are required to attend eight workshops or events each semester that focus on social skills and other relevant areas of development. Learning Specialists also serve as liaisons to other departments across campus, including tutoring programs, housing, and mental health services.
Method
To analyze the data from high functioning college students with ASD, we employed Thematic Analysis (TA) due to its versatility with various theoretical and epistemological approaches (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Our research used an essentialist/realist approach to explore the participants’ perspectives including the content of their direct experiences, rather than focusing on the social processes of their experiences. Using this approach, we examined the participants’ experiences and organized them into themes. Additionally, we used an inductive theoretical TA that allowed us to identify themes solely from the data. As we identified and refined the themes, we adopted a latent approach to interpret the meaning of the data beyond its explicitly described meaning.
Context of the Study
Undergraduate college students from a non-religiously affiliated large research university located in the Southwestern region of the United States participated in this study. All participants were enrolled in the CASE program and had a confirmed current diagnosis of ASD or a confirmed previous diagnosis of Asperger's disorder.
Research Team
The research team is comprised of seven members. On the research team, two members have their doctoral degrees and teach, four are doctoral students, and one is a master student all in the field of counselor education. Within the research team, two members are licensed professional counselor supervisors, and four members hold licensure as professional counselors. The first author works as an assistant professor of counselor education at a research university and has over a decade of experience in counseling and expertise in qualitative research methodology. Among the entire research team, the counselor education members possess a combined total of more than 50 years of counseling experience with individually up to 16 years of counseling experience. While none of the members of the research team have a personal diagnosis of ASD, they all have some level of experience or exposure to working with individuals who had been diagnosed with ASD, and one research member maintains a private practice in counseling that is specialized in treating individuals with ASD. Regarding personal experience with individuals with ASD, one research member has a close family member who has been diagnosed with ASD.
Participants
During Spring 2012 to Fall 2021, 124 college students with ASD from the CASE program participated in this study. Throughout this period, a total of 30 students withdrew from the CASE program and remained enrolled in college without CASE service support. A total of 33 students withdrew from the university entirely. The total participants in the CASE Program included 104 males (83.9%), 17 females (13.7%), 1 transgender-male (.8%), 2 transgender-females (1.6%), 0 nonbinary individuals (0%), and 0 participants that identified as another gender (0%). In terms of ethnicity, 80 students self-identified as White or Caucasian (64.5%), 12 students self-identified as Hispanic (9.7%), 6 students self-identified as Black or African American (4.8%), 2 students self-identified as Asian (1.6%), 9 students did not disclose their ethnicity (7.3%), and 15 students identified as another ethnicity (12.1%). Upon entry into the program, the youngest participant was age 18, the oldest was 25, and mean age of the participants was 19.8. The classification of students who participated in the program ranged from first year students to graduate students. While all participants self-identified as wishing to participate in the program for individuals with an ASD diagnosis, 110 participants provided documentation confirming their ASD diagnosis (88.7%).
Procedure
This research is from a series of projects that investigates the same dataset of 1,805 written reports collected in the Spring 2012 to Fall 2021 from monthly WRAParound meetings (Noble et al., 2024a, 2024b, 2024c) with 124 CASE program college students with ASD. The analysis of the dataset used the same method as the previous studies; however, this study considered the experiences of individuals with ASD in seeking and attaining romantic relationships. To ensure the anonymity of participants, the meeting records were de-identified and analyzed. The analysis of de-identified data for this study was approved by the university Institutional Review Board. The WRAParound meetings’ records were written by Learning Specialists, and the meetings consisted of the Learning Specialists, professionals, and other members of the WRAP team strategizing with the student to help them achieve their individual goals.
Data Analysis
Initially, the data analysis consisted of the first and second authors reviewing the entire 1,805 written WRAParound reports and identifying any aspects of the notes that were relevant to the area of social concerns. Following agreement from the first and second authors of all of the raw data that was related to the area of social concerns, this data was combined and shared with the entire research team. The second round of data analysis included six research team members reviewing the deidentified data related to social concerns and considering the research questions of how these social concerns influenced the participants’ ability to seek and attain romantic relationships. Each member of the research team separately reviewed the data following Braun and Clarke's (2006) six phases of TA. The research team (1) reviewed the data to become familiar with it, (2) identified initial codes, (3) searched for themes, (4) reviewed themes individually and as a group, (5) agreed on defined themes naming each theme, and (6) reported the themes (Braun & Clarke, 2006). To ensure consistency and accuracy of findings as well as avoid bias, the research team held weekly meetings throughout an entire fall and spring semester while completing the data analysis. Unanimous agreement on the themes and subthemes was achieved throughout this process. While refining the themes, the research team checked each theme against the raw data and made individual audit trails of their coding process. To further verify the accuracy of themes, an external auditor, who is a counselor educator, holds a doctoral degree in counseling education, and has extensive experience counseling individuals with ASD reviewed all of the raw data relevant to romantic relationships. No changes to themes occurred as a result of the external audit.
Findings
Based on our TA (Braun & Clarke, 2006), we identified four overarching themes related to seeking and attaining romantic relationships: desire for and recognition of the benefits of romantic relationships, barriers to attaining romantic relationships which had subthemes, identified strategies to seek potential romantic relationships, and the use of technology to aid in attaining potential romantic relationships. These four themes and subthemes from the barriers theme are described in the following sections.
Desire for and Recognition of the Benefits of Romantic Relationships
Of the 124 participants, 15 participants specifically indicated the importance of a romantic relationship in their WRAParound meetings through discussing romantic relationship concerns. While the remaining 109 participants did not directly discuss romantic relationships, they may have been indirectly discussing romantic concerns through their social concerns. Of the 124 participants, 108 participants indicated a desire to improve their social interactions which may have been an indirect way of addressing their romantic relationship concerns. These social concerns varied and included the following: feeling lonely, navigating conflict, feeling rejected by others, desiring deeper more meaningful connections with others, needing to increase assertiveness, and lacking trust in others. For the participants who did not discuss romantic relationship concerns, this does not mean that they did not see the importance of a romantic relationship in their life, but rather they may have felt uncomfortable discussing this topic as a major priority with their WRAParound team. It is possible that their romantic connections may have been driving their desire for academic and career success, but not a topic they felt comfortable describing with their Learning Specialists and WRAP team. In contrast to this theme, it should be noted that some participants described wanting to avoid focusing too much energy on social concerns or romantic relationships because they felt this would increase their academic and career success.
Among the benefits of romantic relationships noted by participants was increased confidence, an enhanced sense of self-efficacy in challenging areas in their life, boosted focus to achieve academic and career goals, improved feelings of self-worth, elevated positive feelings and mood overall, sense of belonging, and a sense of safety and support due to the romantic relationship. Out of the 15 participants that included romantic relationship goals as a part of their personal WRAP goals, 11 wanted to attain a romantic relationship. Participants 42 and 5 illustrate this desire for a romantic relationship well. Participant 42 indicated that he wanted “to grasp the nuances of social interactions, especially as they pertain to girls.” Participant 5 “has questions about dating and relationships with girls. He expressed an interest in a seminar that would focus on how to make friends and date.” Perhaps the most persuasive evidence that the participants desired a romantic relationship and recognized the benefits of participating in one was that despite their extreme feelings of discomfort in soliciting potential romantic relationships, they were willing to challenge themselves in order to attempt to attain a romantic connection. Specifically, Participant 65's Learning Specialist noted that “65 has also set for himself a goal to learn how to break the ice to befriend girls. Although he's a very congenial young man, he says he finds it challenging to connect with girls because he feels they perceive that every connection is to ask for a date. He will participate in the CASE sponsored Flirting Workshop next fall and will observe his older brother and learn from him and other young men who have and keep healthy relationships with girlfriends. He calls himself a ‘hopeless romantic.’ He wants to develop the confidence to attract and date girls.” Although Participant 65 feels others may misperceive his behaviors and is unsure of appropriate methods to connect with potential romantic partners, he, like nine of his peers in this study, was willing to receive rejection in the hopes of a potential romantic relationship.
Barriers to Seeking Attaining Romantic Relationships
Barriers to seeking and attaining romantic relationships was a major theme that emerged from the data. Of the 15 participants describing romantic relationship concerns, 10 participants indicated they experienced barriers to seeking and attaining romantic relationships. Further, within the overall topic of social concerns, 108 participants indicated social concerns including needing increased assertiveness, lack of confidence in social interactions, fears of rejection, accidentally engaging in undesirable social behaviors, and uncertainty regarding how to seek social interactions and relationships. Similarly, among the barriers to seeking and attaining a romantic relationship are the following subthemes which are described below.
Initiating Conversations
Initiating conversations was the first barrier to seeking and attaining romantic relationships. While some participants stated that they did not experience difficulties with identifying conversation starters such as Participant 92 who began a conversation with a potential romantic partner and stated a strength of his is “finding something to relate with others,” several participants suggested beginning the first conversation with a potential romantic interest was daunting. Participant 107's experience summarized this barrier well by indicating that he “didn’t know what to say when talking to a girl.” Additionally, Participant 107 “mentioned that he felt awkward around a girl he had tried to meet recently. He said he did not know what to say around her but wanted to improve upon those skills.” Similarly, Participant 71 was “feeling scared about talking with girls he is interested in getting to know better.” When encountering these issues, the CASE team provided several workshops and materials regarding initiating conversations. Further, they modeled appropriate conversation starters, suggested role play exercises, and provided feedback on initiating conversations.
Uncertainty Regarding Forming Connections
After beginning initial conversations was no longer an issue due to substantially practicing and improving on the goal, the next big barrier to attaining a romantic relationship was participants’ uncertainty regarding forming connections. Participant 71 illustrated this barrier well through an inability to even label his concern. “71 shared that he has said hello to and complimented a girl he would like to talk to but feels scared about progressing further in these interactions. He feels like there is a barrier that prevents him from doing anything more. He had a difficult time breaking down areas of focus when reviewing what skills he needed to develop or fine tune to help him overcome this fear (communication and interpersonal skills, hygiene, verbal and nonverbal cues, etc.). He would like to continue working on social skills to help him feel more comfortable talking to girls.” Participant 71's fears indicate a desire for intimacy but a loss at how to achieve it.
Fears Concerning Seeking Relationships
Participants expressed a deep fear of seeking romantic relationships as well as friendships or other professional relationships. Particularly for students who had no prior dating or romantic relationship experience, they expressed concerns regarding seeking relationships. When compared to students with little to no dating experience, there was a trend that showed students with prior relationship experience had a much firmer grasp on what they believed would constitute a suitable partner. An example of a student who was just getting started in preparing to date was student 114. This student expressed that he was looking for a partner, “who will date me and doesn’t reject me.” This low standard is reflective of the experience of other participants as they first began the dating process. Students with little or no relationship experience were more focused on improving their own qualities to be more attractive and improve their chances of dating successfully rather than being concerned with the qualities of potential partners. This perspective was contrasted with the few students who did have some dating experience and were able to apply what they learned to gain a clearer consideration of the qualities needed in a partner to increase relationship success.
Potential Romantic Partner Rejection
A common but unfortunate barrier to attaining a romantic relationship was the subtheme of potential romantic partner rejection. The rejection participants encountered throughout this study spanned from rejection from unanswered emails/texts/and messages, rejection from being in close proximity to potential romantic partners (potential partners walking away from interested participants), rejection from initial conversations with individuals and groups, rejection in the middle of conversations, rejection through being stood up on dates, and rejection for additional dates or continued involvement. An example of the typical types of rejection that participants received from potential romantic partners was Participant 124 who planned a first date with a girl a week in advance, but on the day of the meeting, she cancelled due to a family emergency. Though disappointed, the student remained undeterred. He quickly decided to push the date to when she would be back in town. However, when she returned, she said it was late and she was too tired to keep the meeting. The student expressed his frustrations with his WRAP team, and they discussed setting boundaries as well as determining how many cancellations should be considered too many. At a later date, the student detailed a confrontation he had with the potential romantic partner about being rejected; “he stated that he talked to the individual who he went on a date with earlier about blowing him off and told her that he did not appreciate that. 113 stated that she was ok with the conversation.” This student was successful in voicing his negative feelings in a manner that was appropriate and productive. Though he likely would have preferred to avoid the disappointment altogether, it presented a unique challenge that he was able to overcome and grow from. Student 80 had a similar experience with someone she was dating, “she went to lunch, and she mentioned that they talked for a while. She also said she was asked out on a second date that same week, but he cancelled that date due to other activities. He also said he would go to her birthday party, though he did not show up for that event either.” After speaking with her WRAP team, this student decided that she wanted to pursue a relationship with someone that would make time for her. Through this negative experience, she was able to have a more focused outlook of what she would look for in a romantic relationship moving forward. Therefore, while rejection was common among almost all participants, successfully learning from the experience and growing allowed participants to have opportunities at future romantic encounters with greater success.
Excessive Attention/Difficulty Understanding Romantic Cues
The barrier of being unable to identify appropriate boundaries and engage in excessive attention toward a potential romantic partner or misunderstand their romantic cues was the final barrier to attaining a romantic relationship noted in this study. There is a fine line between illustrating interest in a potential romantic partner to make them feel special and making someone feel uncomfortable through attempting a romantic connection. Unfortunately, due to the difficulty of reading subtle, nuanced nonverbal and verbal cues that signal a romantic interest, some participants unknowingly engaged in behaviors that made some of the individuals they wanted to seek romantic encounters with uncomfortable. Participant 5 emailed female students in his classes repeatedly despite not knowing them well and not receiving any response. The WRAP team recommended that he try to “get to know them at least a semester prior to initiating emails back and forth.” Creating rules such as the one described was common among the WRAP team as this helped make subjective, subtle social skills clearer and easier to navigate. However, the participants were not always receptive to the WRAP team's feedback. As an example of that, despite the advice from the WRAP team to wait to email potential romantic partners and only email them repeatedly if they respond, Participant “5 continues to email female students in his classes even though they don’t respond after the initial email. They may not be receptive to emails from someone they don’t know well. It has been discussed in this WRAParound meeting that 5 should seek counseling and/or a social group to address this behavior and identify a more appropriate approach to interacting with female students in order to apply discretion in this area.” Eventually Participant 5 agreed to receive counseling from the student counseling center “to learn appropriate ways to make connections with female students and stay within acceptable social boundaries.” Additionally, the WRAP team recommended a social skills support group to learn strategies to navigate social encounters more successfully.
Unfortunately, some of these advances were even more extreme and caused the student conduct office to become involved. Participant “31 had an incident last month where a female classmate misunderstood the attention that he was giving her and she appealed to the Dean, but did not address this with 31. [Members from the institution] visited with 31 and outlined some specific ways to remedy this situation and for future encounters with female classmates of this kind. 31 continues to see [a counselor], but his appointments are monthly now. The CASE Team would like for 31 to consider returning to weekly appointments with [the counselor] for support and social coaching. Seeing [the counselor] weekly would also help prepare for the end of the semester when life gets stressful with registration, housing applications, and final exams are all occurring at the same time. [The counselor] facilitates a College Life Group, a discussion/support group for students to help each other cope with college and make connections.” In situations such as these, the WRAP team worked to provide resources to change these unhealthy behaviors and promote appropriate boundaries.
Identified Strategies to Seek Potential Romantic Relationships
Due to seeking a romantic partner being such a prominent goal in some of the participants’ lives and their recognition of numerous barriers that impeded their success in attaining this goal, some participants identified strategies to attain a romantic relationship. Among these strategies included improving their social skills overall; attending counseling for this goal; attending groups and/or workshops on flirting, relationships, making friends, and social skills; participating in organizations and activities of common interest to find potential romantic partners; practicing conversations; identifying possible conversation topics to begin a conversation with their crushes; practicing complimenting crushes; identifying potential dates to have with their crushes; strategizing ways to ask and asking crushes out on dates; and using technology such as social media and dating apps to identify interested potential romantic partners. Participant 71 described his interest in talking with a girl who worked in his dorm. While he said hello before, he wanted to identify topics and strategies to find areas of common interest. He was “very interested in learning if they have shared interests, such as Magic: The Gathering and logical thinking. [The WRAP team] coached 71 on how to approach this interaction and possible conversation topics, such as asking the girl's name and her major. A direct and genuine approach to the conversation was emphasized in this coaching.” The WRAP team followed up on this goal and Participant 71 did speak with her and learned more about her. After their conversation, he was able to determine that he was no longer interested in seeking a romantic relationship with her. In general, these strategies that the participants utilized helped them make progress toward or in some cases attain a romantic relationship.
Use of Technology to Aid in Attaining Potential Romantic Relationships
As would be expected of college students, the final major theme that emerged from the data was the utilization of technology either through social media, dating apps, or gaming networks to aid in attaining potential romantic relationships. While there were significant benefits of using these platforms that were expressed in the data such as the ability to avoid any in person rejection or to identify available and interested potential romantic partners, there also were additional concerns. The first concern with technology was identifying a partner that was too far away for an easily sustainable relationship. Participant 100 used technology to attain a girlfriend in a country outside of the U.S. and had to navigate a time difference which caused Participant 100 and his girlfriend to have “trouble getting synchronized with their need to communicate over the vast time difference. They are working it out, and he is making an effort to connect with other social outlets on campus so he does not need to call her when he takes a break in case she cannot talk then.” Recognizing a connection with a partner that lived so far away provided some support for this participant but also created additional strain to rearrange schedules and find time to connect only through distance platforms.
Finally, the theme of being catfished, meaning talking with someone online who is faking all or some aspects of their identity, was a concern. Although Participant 65 was cautious when meeting potential romantic partners through an online dating site, “he recently had an experience where someone friended him on Facebook, but after doing some research he noticed three very important red flags: 1. After 5 min of chatting, she asked for more personal information from 65; 2. She had a limited profile on Facebook making it difficult to know who she really was; 3. He used Google Images and discovered that her picture led to links to pornographic websites. He immediately unfriended her. Having this experience will help him use discretion with online dating sites.” Therefore, participants learned from some of these negative experiences with their use of technology to aid in their search for a potential romantic partner as well as from their positive experiences that assisted them in attaining a relationship.
Discussion
Overall, the themes identified indicated both the perceived benefits of romantic relationships and the barriers to attaining romantic relationships. Both the desire for a romantic relationship and the perceived barriers involved in romantic relationships confirm previous findings (Strunz et al., 2017). Further, there were themes of identifying a variety of strategies to attempt to attain romantic relationships including seeking technological support such as social media and dating apps. Of the 124 participants in this study, only 15 directly expressed a goal to seek or attain romantic relationships. The low number of participants who indicated romantic relationship goals is surprising considering Mogavero and Hsu's (2020) research indicating that individuals with ASD are interested in pursuing intimate relationships but often encounter obstacles when attempting to establish these relationships. However, 108 participants did describe goals of improving social skills overall. It is possible that the participants who did not perceive relationships as desirable did not mention this area and therefore this theme may have been present but was not expressed by participants. Previous research indicates that only 7% of individuals with ASD had no desire for a romantic relationship (Strunz et al., 2017). As previously mentioned, the reasons for this may have been that participants felt uncomfortable sharing romantic relationship goals with their CASE Learning Specialist and/or WRAP Team, or they may have felt that assistance with their social concerns would also help them with romantic relationships. An alternative explanation that was expressed by participants was that they did not want to focus too much of their energy on attaining romantic relationships as they believed waiting might allow them to have more of an opportunity to focus on their academic and career goals. Romantic relationships can necessitate a substantial time and energy investment; however, for the participants who suggested that they wanted to focus their energy on academic and career success instead of making social connections or investments, they may have been losing opportunities to acquire valuable skills to engage productively in social relationships. In turn, enhanced social skills might actually improve their academic and career success as well as their social success which might indirectly positively influence their social support system and therefore their ability to be productive both academically and in their careers (Kornblum et al., 2021). With social communication challenges inherent with an ASD diagnosis, delaying social involvement until after college may create an even greater deficit in the area of social communication. Another possibility is that the 98 participants who did not directly state romantic relationship goals may have been due to having their relationship needs met through being in a romantic relationship that they felt positive about or through meeting intimacy needs through other methods such as pornography or virtual connections with others which were described in some of the participants WRAParound meeting notes.
While most, if not all, of the themes experienced by college students with autism seeking romantic relationships would likely be common among a neurotypical college population, the frequency of these concerns may be more prevalent for individuals with ASD. Specifically, the barriers identified in this study of initiating conversations, feeling uncertainty regarding forming connections, experiencing fears concerning seeking relationships, worrying about potential romantic partner rejection, and excessively paying attention or having difficulty understanding romantic cues may all be more challenging to navigate when also navigating problems with social communication and interactions. The repetitive interest that characterizes individuals with ASD may increase the chances that they may have heightened focus on a crush or engage in inappropriate sexual behaviors (Beddows & Brooks, 2016) and therefore make them more likely to engage in excessive attention that may make the receiving party feel uncomfortable. For participants that had previous dating experience, they appeared to have heightened confidence and were better able to apply what they had learned from previous dating experiences to increase their relationship success through seeking qualities they deemed necessary to have successful relationships.
Due to the heightened challenges that individuals with ASD frequently experience when navigating social relationships (APA, 2022), it would make sense that romantic relationships may be even more nuanced and require additional focus to navigate successfully as indicated by many of the participants in this study. These results are supported by research that indicates individuals with ASD experience lower dating, long-term relationships, and marriage rates than their neurotypical peers (Farley et al., 2017; Howlin & Moss, 2012). The themes present in this study may not only be beneficial for individuals with ASD, but for any individual experiencing struggles in seeking and attaining potential romantic relationships. Further, the strategies employed by the college students with ASD in this study to seek and attain romantic relationships may also be useful for any individual struggling to attain a romantic relationship.
Implications, Limitations and Recommendations for Future Research
Our findings on the experiences and attitudes of college students with ASD toward seeking and attaining romantic relationships offer several implications for counseling practice. Because individuals with ASD experience social interaction and communication difficulties (APA, 2022), counseling practitioners need to be aware of the unique concerns that adults with ASD encounter when seeking and attaining romantic relationships. The areas of barriers to attaining a romantic relationship and strategies utilized to increase appropriate interactions need additional attention. Specifically, the following DSM-5-TR (APA, 2022) diagnostic criteria of (1) concerns with social–emotional reciprocity, (2) difficulty with nonverbal communicative behaviors and (3) struggles with developing and maintaining relationships should be considered by counselors supporting adults with ASD in seeking and attaining romantic relationships. For the first diagnostic criterion, issues on social–emotional reciprocity, the barriers of uncertainty regarding forming connections, and excessive attention/difficulty understanding romantic cues are relevant. The uncertainty with how to form connections may stem from these struggles to engage socially and emotionally and to reciprocate interactions in appropriate ways. Through a counselor helping the client to engage appropriately in these behaviors in a counseling session through modeling, role play, and providing here-and-now feedback concerning the therapeutic relationship, counselors can better assist their adult clients with ASD with this concern. Regarding excessive attention and difficulty discerning romantic interest, a counselor may wish to openly talk with this population about this as an identified concern and describe behaviors that may be considered excessive and cause the recipient of these exchanges to feel uncomfortable. For the second diagnostic criterion of difficulty with nonverbal communication, a counselor working with this population may wish to seek additional training in the areas of social skills (Bennett et al., 2012) and nonverbal communication (Laugeson, 2017). Through teaching social skills, the third diagnostic criterion for ASD on difficulty developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships can be assisted as well as the theme is described in this study on difficulty understanding romantic cues. Providing psychoeducation for subtle nonverbal communication could greatly benefit this population in attaining a romantic relationship (Laugeson, 2017). Through specific focus on these areas, counselors can more effectively assist adults with ASD in seeking and attaining romantic relationships.
Based on the themes of this study, an area that counselors particularly need to address is navigating the inevitable rejection inherent in attaining a romantic partner. To assist this population with this goal, counselors may wish to normalize the rejection reminding clients that these emotions that are experienced during this type of rejection are deeply felt and feel personal. Additionally, counselors may consider helping these clients increase their confidence and social skills, adopt realistic expectations, increase personal autonomy with relationship building, consider alternative perspectives, form healthy coping strategies, and establish a strong support system. Finally, counselors should consider the unique needs of their individual client and tailor their approach to their clients’ goals and needs.
While our results offer implications for counseling practice, there are limitations. Specifically, a limitation of the study was that we had a singular data source of WRAParound meeting notes. While the WRAParound meeting notes spanned the course of nine years, included over 1,000 written records, and had over 100 participants, they relied solely on one data source. Further, the WRAParound meeting notes did not include a direct narrative from the participants, but rather were written by CASE Learning Specialists. Although the CASE Learning Specialists may be more objective regarding the participants’ progress toward their goals, the data was not in the students’ own voices and therefore may not have fully captured the students’ own perspectives.
Using this pre-existing data allowed us to analyze college students with ASD's experiences in seeking and attaining romantic relationships for a span of many years; however, this data source did limit the areas we were able to explore due to being pre-existing data. Specifically, because we only had one data source, we were unable to explore the reason for only 15 participants explicitly setting personal goals related to seeking and attaining a romantic relationship. Therefore, we can only speculate about the perceived importance of romantic relationships in the lives of the participants with ASD in this study, and we are unable to ask follow-up questions.
Due to the participants in the study all being from one institution and all being a part of a service delivery program for college students with ASD, this sample is not representative of college students with ASD who do not participate in a service delivery program for individuals with ASD. The students who participate in a service delivery program designed to help them achieve their academic, career, and overall life goals such as those in this sample may be more goal oriented than typical college students with ASD; therefore, this sample may not be transferable to all college students with ASD.
Future research may wish to explore specific counseling techniques and interventions to assist adults with ASD in seeking and attaining romantic relationships. Specifically, future studies should include specific strategies to support individuals with ASD in initiating conversations, navigating the uncertainty of connecting with potential romantic partners, overcoming fears and rejection involved in seeking romantic relationships, and ensuring individuals with ASD avoid providing excessive attention that makes potential romantic partners uncomfortable. Other areas to explore may include the emotional and psychological impacts of seeking and attaining romantic relationships, the examination of the role of external support systems in facilitating romantic relationships, and the long-term outcomes of these romantic relationships and how they impact the overall well-being and life satisfaction of individuals with ASD. Through continuing to investigate concerns encountered among individuals with ASD when seeking and maintaining romantic relationships, the findings may not only benefit individuals with ASD, but may also provide information that may assist neurotypical and other populations with romantic relationship concerns.
Footnotes
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The authors received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article
