Gray Zone Identity: An Autoethnographic Journey of Chronic Illness,Diagnostic Uncertainty,and Autoimmunity

Abstract

The author explores what it means to live in a liminal space of medical uncertainty as a person with an autoimmune disease. Autoethnography enables the author to examine the emotional, cognitive, and physical response to being told that her ill body and identity exist in a clinical gray zone. The author coins the term “gray zone identity” to capture the uncertainty and anxiety that accompanied years of symptoms without a diagnosis. Traveling in and out of health care facilities in search of answers, the author learns that not all bodies can be clinically explained by medical language or biomedical tests. It is in the liminal space of diagnostic uncertainty where the author endeavors to understand how to embrace her gray zone identity.

Keywords

gray zone identity liminality autoethnography chronic illness autoimmune disease patient–provider communication

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