“Mongering Is a Weird Life Sometimes”: Discourse Analysis of a Sex Buyer Online Community

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to examine the narrative of sex buyers in an unmoderated online forum. Using a feminist critical discourse analysis (FCDA) and intersectionality approach, we investigated overt and subtle ways power inequalities were present in the discourse of men who bought sex in Chicago. Four main themes emerged: (a) toxic masculinity; (b) violence against women; (c) intersectionality of sexuality, race, and age; and (d) the need to maintain the community. Our findings imply that johns’ self-described monger identity is closely associated with maintaining, perpetrating, and minimizing violence against women.

Keywords

sex buyer johns feminist critical discourse analysis women escorts commercial sexual exploitation

Commercial sexual exploitation continues to be prevalent in the United States, with estimates between 4 and 14% of men who buy sex in the United States (Monto & Milrod, 2014; Roe-Sepowitz et al., 2019). However, specific prevalence of sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation is unclear, due to the illegal and invisible nature of the crime, combined with lack of agreement on definitions of terms and methodological flaws in research (Fedina, 2015). Overall, the estimated number of victims of trafficking ranges from 5,000–60,000 people in the United States every year (Farrell & Fahy, 2009). People can be implicated in commercial sexual exploitation and sex trafficking as victims, traffickers, and buyers. The demand for sex by buyers (i.e., johns) contributes to the maintenance of the system. Hunt (2013) proposed that public policies should focus on deterring johns from buying sex, to decrease the demand for sexual services. However, few researchers have addressed how men who buy sex conceptualize, justify, and make meaning of their experiences.

To address this gap, we present a discourse analysis of online reviews of women escorts posted by men who buy sex in the Chicago area. Given the high demand for the commercial sex industry in the United States (Farrell & Fahy, 2009), it is important to focus on the consumers of the industry. By investigating online posts made by sex buyers, we sought to identify discourse construction surrounding justification for buying sex and violence against women in this community. A note on the language used in this article is warranted. For the purpose of this article, the term woman escort is defined as any person who identifies as a woman and is engaged in the commercial sex industry, including sex workers and women who are being commercially exploited or trafficked. Buyers and johns will also be used interchangeably to refer to men who purchase sex.

Context of Commercial Sexual Exploitation and Sex Work

The specific structure of the commercial sex industry is dependent on context and location, and every worker/survivor has a unique experience of being involved in this industry. However, this is an organized underground economy, and familiarity with the basic structure, system, and language used in the commercial sex trade industry is warranted to understand the role of buyers. Sex trafficking is characterized by the commercial sexual exploitation of a person through force, fraud, or coercion (Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act [VTVPA], 2000; United Nations, 2000). The presence of coercion, fraud, or force indicates the victim has not consented of their own free will. Commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) is a term used to describe people in vulnerable situations (e.g., homelessness, sexual minority, poverty) whose vulnerabilities are exploited by a trafficker or buyer. Commercial sexual exploitation encompasses actual or attempted abuse of differential power or vulnerabilities for sexual purposes, including profiting socially, monetarily, or politically from sexual exploitation (Gerassi, 2015; Gerassi & Nichols, 2018).

A clear distinction between sex trafficking and sex work must be made to produce relevant research and provide appropriate and effective services for both workers and victims. Research on the sex trade industry has historically been fraught with simplistic definitions and conceptualizations of sex work (Hickle & Roe-Sepowitz, 2017). Recognizing the complexities of the experiences of sex workers is essential to address the social, institutional, and individual vulnerabilities inherent to this line of work. Sex work is defined as “the exchange of sexual services, performances, or products for material compensation and can refer to direct physical contact between buyers and sellers as well as indirect sexual stimulation” (Gerassi, 2015, p. 4).

Decriminalization of sex work is supported by the United Nations (Godwin, 2012) and the World Health Organization (WHO, 2004), with the intent of protecting the rights of sex workers and fostering better health outcomes. Criminalization of sex work has not been related to a decrease in sex trafficking, but rather to increased discrimination, stigma, decreased safety, bad working conditions, barriers to exiting sex work, and difficulty accessing resources for sex workers (Harcourt & Donovan, 2005; Huschke, 2017; Nichols, 2016; WHO, 2004). Agency to choose sex work, however, must be considered within the context of vulnerabilities and oppression based on gender, race, and class (Task Force on Trafficking of Women and Girls, 2014). Although the distinction between sex work and commercial exploitation is important with respect to sex workers’ rights and autonomy, it is essential to acknowledge that the intersectionality of marginalized identities and social groups creates a cycle of vulnerability to exploitation. Women in vulnerable positions, both socially and politically, are frequently targeted by traffickers due to their lack of choice, resources, and support (Huschke, 2017; Nichols, 2016).

Regardless of where women are located on the victimization-agency continuum when it comes to the commercial sex industry, they all seem to be vulnerable to some degree of exploitation and violence. Turning our attention to demand is important to truly understand this issue in the United States (Hunt, 2013), and to identify attitudes held by johns to justify prostitution and violence against women. Johns’ discourse construction surrounding buying sex from women can give us insight into beliefs, attitudes, and expected behavior in the community, and therefore a better understanding of this phenomenon.

Sex Buyers

Due to the hidden nature of the commercial sex industry and the stigma attached to it in the United States, research examining people who buy sex is difficult to conduct and is limited (Monto, 2004; Nichols, 2016). Buyers of prostitution are indistinct from buyers of sex trafficking victims, because they have “no way of knowing if the person they are buying sex from is trafficked, exploited, or a willing sex worker” (Nichols, 2016, p. 156). Moreover, most buyers do not inquire about consent or the age of people they are buying sex from, and even if they did, it is unlikely that a trafficked or exploited person would answer honestly, due to need for money or fear of a trafficker (Nichols, 2016). In an exploratory study of sex buyers in Minnesota, Valine (2019) found that johns were primarily White men, from the middle and upper classes, who engaged in the commercial sex trade online, and who sought sexual experiences based on power and control (i.e., to be able to specifically control how the sexual experience would be).

Roe-Sepowitz and colleagues (2016) conducted a study to estimate the population of active customers of online sex ads in 15 cities representing different regions in the United States. The law enforcement personnel in charge of vice in each city were contacted and informed of the study, and law enforcement officers in Arizona helped the authors develop a decoy online sex ad. Using a capture/recapture sampling technique, Roe-Sepowitz and colleagues (2016) posted the decoy ad on craigslist.com and backpage.com on Fridays on two consecutive weeks, and the calls and texts made to the number on the ads were recorded. There was a total of 677 contacts, with the majority of contacts made within the first 24 hr after the ad was posted. The authors found that, on average, one out of 20 males over the age of 18 years was soliciting sex online in each metropolitan city area. Houston seemed to have the most males soliciting sex online, with one out of every five males (21.4%), a total of 169,920 men. Houston was followed by Kansas City (14.5%), Las Vegas (13.5%), and Boston (7.6%). San Francisco had the smallest percentage of males soliciting sex (0.6%), but that was still a total of 9,504 men that solicited sex online. Chicago had the highest average of sex ads posted on backpage.com in a 24-hr period (N = 518.5), followed by Las Vegas (N = 515), and Houston (N = 472).

Similarly, Monto and Milrod (2014) analyzed data from the nationally representative General Social Survey (N = 4,581), data from a public domain data set of arrested customers (N = 1,817), and a convenience sample of 43 men recruited from the discussion boards of the online prostitution review website, The Erotic Review (TER). The authors found that only 14% of men in the United States report having paid for sex, and only 1% reported having paid for sex over the last year. The authors also found that there is a significant variety among buyers, and no evidence of peculiar qualities or specific characteristics that differentiate men who buy sex from those who do not.

Given the high prevalence of men who buy sex in the states in which sex work is not legalized, it is important to focus our attention on this issue and its possible harmful effects. Monto (2004), in his review of the existing literature on customers of prostitution, identified clusters of attitudes available in Western culture that johns hold to justify prostitution and violence against women involved in the sex trade. The author reports that, although it is important to understand buyers’ self-reported motivations to buy sex (e.g., sexual desire, being away from a partner and accustomed to regular sexual access, being too shy and awkward to establish relationships), these reasons do not explain why some men buy sex and others do not. Monto (2004) suggested that it might be more important to focus research efforts on understanding attitudes held by buyers that are not held by those who do not engage in the commercial sex trade. According to the author, these attitudes seem to encompass conceiving sex as a commodity (i.e., prostitution as a market exchange), sense of entitlement to sexual access to women (i.e., believing the ability to have sex when desired is an essential aspect of masculinity), patriarchal violence against women (i.e., prostitution and violence used to reinforce male privilege), and sexual liberalism (i.e., belief that sex is positive and should not be restricted among consenting parties). Most men who seek prostitution use sexual liberalism to justify their own behavior, usually dismissing agency and assuming sex is consensual if you are a sex worker or in the commercial sex industry (Monto, 2004).

To further understand some attitudes held by sex buyers, Monto and Julka (2009) investigated the consequences of understanding sex as a commodity among customers of commercial sex in a survey-based study. Participants were 700 men who had been arrested while trying to hire street sex workers and were attending intervention programs to prevent re-offense (i.e., “john schools”) in San Francisco (N = 588), Portland (N = 82), and Las Vegas (N = 30). The authors found a significant relationship between the frequency of buying sex and conceiving of sex as a commodity. Moreover, the authors found that rape myth acceptance, attraction to violent sexuality, less frequent use of condoms with sex workers, support of the commercial sex industry, and beliefs that the sex trade is positive for women predicted perceiving sex as a commodity. Monto and Julka (2009) proposed that viewing sex as a commodity is not only associated with greater frequency of buying sex and possibly contributing to sex trafficking, but it is also associated with many attitudes that have a negative impact on women’s lives overall.

In a recent study, Farley and colleagues (2017) conducted structured interviews, which contained both quantitative and qualitative measures, with 101 men who had bought sex and 101 men who did not buy sex. The groups were matched in age (M = 40), education, and ethnicity. When analyzing quantitative measures, the authors found that both groups tended to accept rape myths that normalized and justified sexual violence, but sex buyers reported being more likely to rape a woman if they could get away with it. Furthermore, sex buyers had a significantly higher number of sex partners, endorsed more hostile masculinity, reported more fear of rejection by women, and reported having engaged in more sexually aggressive behaviors when compared with non-sex buyers. When compared with non-buyers, sex buyers were less likely to view prostitution as sexual exploitation (38%), more likely to report prostitution as consenting sex (62%), and when the question was framed as a choice, acceptance of prostitution greatly increased (93%).

Furthermore, when exploring participants’ attitudes, Farley and colleagues (2017) found that both groups commonly related sexual satisfaction or pleasure, relationship dissatisfaction, and wish for variety as reasons why men buy sex. Sex buyers described men who buy sex in terms of positive dominance, using terms such as “player” and “stud.” Non-buyers were more likely to describe men who buy sex as “losers,” “unethical,” or “desperate.” Sex buyers were also more likely to believe that women who engage in commercial sex trade are intrinsically different from other women. Both groups seemed to be aware of sex trafficking, and they reported believing that the majority of women are tricked, lured, or trafficked into prostitution. They also observed that “minor children are almost always available for prostitution in bars, massage parlors, escort, and other prostitution in Boston” (Farley et al., 2017, p. 3615). Both groups (i.e., 91% of sex buyers and 88% of non-sex buyers) reported that the most effective deterrent to buying sex would be to list sex buyers in a sex offender registry, followed by jail time, and public exposure techniques (e.g., having name or photo publicized on the internet or in a newspaper). All of the sex buyers reported that 1 month in jail or a fee of $4,500 would deter them from buying sex. Most participants, however, reported beliefs that laws against prostitution are rarely enforced, and they believed that prostitution would never be abolished. In fact, sex workers are significantly more likely to be arrested and convicted in comparison to sex buyers (Updegrove et al., 2019).

Given the stigma associated with the sex industry, research with johns is difficult to conduct (Nichols, 2016), particularly in naturalistic settings. Sex buyers’ self-reported motivations have been associated with sexual desire, distance from partners, and negative interpersonal relationships (Monto, 2004), but these are not useful in distinguishing men who do and do not buy sex. As the commercial sex industry is stigmatized and obscured due to its legal standing, johns tend to use online settings to exchange information and stories about their experiences. These online forums can provide a sense of community and information, and can shed light on how sex buyers perceive and justify buying sex.

Online Communities for Buyers

The technological affordances of social media and online communities allow for erasure or intensification of the social embodiment of identities (Ging, 2017). Anonymity enables participants to create personas or avatars, separating them from physical environments and limitations (Patton et al., 2013). This has been shown to facilitate illegal and hostile performances of masculinities by freeing people from social and normative constraints of behavior (Moore et al., 2012). Ging (2017) proposes that although sexual subjugation of women by men is not restricted to online environments, “there is clearly far greater scope for it in virtual spaces, where identity, the body, and socioeconomic status can be obscured or reimagined, and where legal and moral culpability are radically reduced” (p. 6). In a recent exploratory study, Valine (2019) found that the majority of johns in Minnesota buy sex online. The idea of hegemonic masculinity as something that can be adopted depending on context and interactional needs seems particularly relevant to the online context of buyers. Connell and Messerschmidt (2005) propose that hegemonic masculinity represents a way that men position themselves through discursive practices rather than a fixed identity.

Online forums in which johns review women escorts represent a unique venue for the study of the attitudes held by sex buyers. The online interaction also permits for bonding among johns, which might not be possible outside of the virtual world due to law enforcement. Buying sex is frequently posited as a performance of masculinity, which has been associated with harm toward sex workers. Furthermore, through these online forums johns reflect on the ineffectiveness of law enforcement in deterring them, and justify buying sex through a narrative of sexual male entitlement and control over sex workers (Janson et al., 2013).

Williams and colleagues (2008) analyzed comments on a members-only forum about sex tourism to the Indonesian island of Batam, targeted to Singaporean men. The researchers found that hegemonic masculinity is upheld and reproduced in the forums through a fraternity context that legitimizes male privilege and dominance. The authors identified the development, maintenance, and performance of a fraternity through language and discourse used to exclude women and inscribe fraternal bonds. These include: (a) using unique terms and phrases, (b) creating a community of belonging among the members by calling themselves “samsters,” (c) using sexualized and gendered language and stereotypes to describe women and male others, (d) usernames that objectify women’s bodies and connect sex with violence, (e) information sharing, (f) homosocial bonding through sex, and (g) enforcing hierarchy among members.

Bounds and colleagues (2017) investigated the discourse of sex buyers from different metropolitan regions in the United States in online communities, using a critical discourse analysis. They proposed the hunter–prey discourse dominated the narrative of sex buyers, primarily related to a sense of entitlement and permission to buy sex, as well as avoidance of becoming the self-described prey of women and law enforcement. The authors propose that sex buyers’ reality is built around this discourse, normalizing the experience of buying sex. Blevins and Holt (2009) also analyzed online posts of heterosexual sex buyers from different U.S. cities to identify subcultures and the unique language used by the community. The authors noted that johns’ attitudes toward sex work was associated with sexuality (i.e., how they experience sex), the commodification of sex, and valuing their experience and knowledge of the sex trade. Furthermore, online forums have been found to be used to help johns communicate and identify sex workers and potential external threats (e.g., law enforcement; Holt & Blevins, 2007). Similarly, “sex tour websites” often neglect to mention legal information regarding sex tourism, and mostly focused on noting legal protections for the sex tourists as opposed to the workers (Gezinski et al., 2016).

Bounds and colleagues (2017) explored indicators of sex trafficking in sex buyers’ online posts reviewing women escorts. They noted several specific markers that could indicate the presence of sexual exploitation and trafficking, such as the desire for youthfulness, explicit indication of the presence of pimps, and johns’ expressed awareness of vulnerability of women escorts. Their findings corroborate how johns and sex buyers play an integral part in the commercial sex industry. Furthermore, Pettinger (2011) argued that male sex buyers evaluate the quality of the sexual services based on emotional, sexual, and aesthetic components of their encounters. In examining online reviews of women escorts in the United Kingdom, the author noted that sex workers were evaluated more positively and professionally when they did not emphasize the market transaction of their services. Sex buyers also engage in the commercial sex industry seeking the “total girlfriend experience,” and frequently note how they also pay for the emotional engagement with women escorts (Milrod & Weitzer, 2012).

In a more recent study of buyers’ online forums, Jovanovski and Tyler (2018) analyzed 148 reviews and 2,424 reply posts of sex buyers in an online brothel review site in Australia. The researchers used a feminist critical discourse analysis (FCDA), and found that buyers normalize, reproduce, and reinforce narratives of violence against women in their reviews. Jovanovski and Tyler (2018) identified narratives of sexual violation that included power over women through sexual objectification, coercion, harassment, pressure to use unsafe sex practices, and rape.

The goal of this study is to gain a better understanding of johns’ constructions of masculinity, buying sex, and violence against women in Chicago, Illinois. We used a feminist critical discourse and intersectional theory lens to examine sex buyers’ reviews of services and women in a Chicago online community. Although some research has been done on johns’ online reviews of women escorts, few researchers have specifically addressed how gender dynamics and power inequalities are intrinsically associated with how johns make meaning of their experiences as sex buyers. Given the prevalence of and demand for the commercial sex industry in the United States, it is important to turn our attention to buyers.

Method

Data Collection

Data were collected from publicly available forum posts on the USA Sex Guide website. This website is a forum-based website in which sex buyers can communicate with one another and exchange information regarding buying sex within the United States. The website has sub-forums dedicated to different metropolitan areas in all 50 states in the United States (e.g., Chicago, New York, Birmingham, Nashville). Users can post reviews of “escorts” (language used by the website) in which they describe their experience, price, and give recommendations. For the purpose of this study, posts reviewing escorts from Chicago were specifically collected (http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/forumdisplay.php?423-Chicago), as it is the largest city in the Midwest.

Posts included in the dataset had been published in the USA Sex Guide website over a time-span of 2 weeks in April 2019 (April 6–20). All posts within this 2-week time frame were extracted for analysis, totaling 156 posts and replies to posts. Contact information of women mentioned in the posts (i.e., email, phone numbers, websites) were removed from the data and pseudonyms were used for their protection. Posts were copied verbatim from the website, therefore including spelling and grammatical mistakes, as well as slang and acronyms used in the sex-buyer community. User names and number of original posts by users were also altered in an effort to preserve their confidentiality. Furthermore, type of membership to the website is indicated when people post, and that information was maintained. According to the website (USA Sex Guide, 2019), regular members can “post reports, view and upload photographs, and use the private message system.” Regular members become senior members if they have been members for 6 months and have made 25 or more contributions to the forum.

Assumptions and Approach

The FCDA and intersectionality approach were used to examine escort reviews from men who have bought sex in Chicago, Illinois. The FCDA is an extension of traditional critical discourse analysis, developed to examine complex and subtle ways in which “frequently taken-for-granted gendered assumptions and power asymmetries get discursively produced, sustained, negotiated, and contested in specific communities and discourse contexts” (Lazar, 2014, p. 182). Discourse impacts how people make meaning of their experiences, and how they interact with their environment. Hence, the way johns communicate about women escorts shapes how they think and interact with the world, which can have significant implications for how they think about violence against women (Bounds et al., 2017).

Feminist critical discourse focuses on overtly and subtly expressed meanings, ambivalent renderings, and ideological assumptions of power relations (Lazar, 2014). In particular, FCDA was used to analyze power inequalities in the discourse of men who bought sex in Chicago, focusing on power asymmetry, performance of toxic masculinity, and harmful gender norms. An intersectional approach was also incorporated into the analysis to address how different locations of social group membership (e.g., class, gender, race, ethnicity, age, religion) impact experiences and social relations among buyers (Harris & Bartlow, 2015; McCall, 2005; Shields, 2008). Intersectionality refers to the mutually constitutive, reinforcing, and naturalizing relations among social identities (Shields, 2008). Given that gender identity is not homogeneous or singular, it is important to be mindful of the raced and classed ways that female sexuality is constructed in the discourse of sex buyers.

Furthermore, it is important to note that the content analyzed was taken from a performative online context, as sex buyers perform how they would like to be seen by other sex buyers. This means that the content is indicative not only of interactions and power relations toward women who are part of the sex industry, but also the framing of those experiences among a community of sex buyers, and their accepted norms.

The posts were submitted to a textual analysis in which they were coded and classified according to different themes that emerged from the data. The first author conducted initial coding, which consisted of identifying textual excerpts that represented unique conceptual ideas. After the initial coding process, the authors conducted a classification of codes into categories that encompassed overarching themes. The coding and categorization was then checked by an outside reviewer, who was not familiar with the research topic. The outside reviewer noted no concerns regarding the coding scheme. Posts were read with the intent of identifying overarching themes through an intersectionality and FCDA lens. From this perspective, themes emerged surrounding toxic masculinity, sex as a commodity, raced sexuality, and multiple narratives of harm that can be located in a continuum of male violence against women.

Analysis and Discussion

Four main themes emerged from the analysis: (a) toxic masculinity; (b) violence against women; (c) intersectionality of sexuality, race, and age; and (d) maintenance of the community. Toxic masculinity was represented in johns’ posts through explicit and subtle expressions of male domination and superiority, entitlement to women’s experiences (both physical and mental), as well as perpetuation of norms of violence against women. Violence against women, although closely connected to toxic masculinity, was analyzed separately due to the many nuanced expressions of violence in the posts, from sexual objectification to rape. Intersectionality of sexuality, race, and age emerged from the analysis as a category of its own, due to the many posts that discussed sexuality centrally as aged and raced, highlighting the importance of those identities to the service and experience of sexuality. Many of those posts are also connected to the violence against women category, but a more in-depth analysis of this theme is warranted due to the volume of posts in which these identities were central topics. Finally, maintenance of the community emerged as a fourth theme, which encompassed posts related to the perpetuation and maintenance of the community of sex buyers and norms within the community. This theme included discussing sex and women as a commodity, helping other sex buyers with reviews and shared experience, and upholding the monger identity. All themes that emerged from the data intersect with one another to create a complex, interrelated set of norms regarding sex, violence, and masculinity. These complicated narratives reflect the multiple ways in which johns create and reproduce a culture of violence in the language of their posts, and how these narratives normalize male dominance and issues of violence against women.

Toxic Masculinity

Although there have been disparate definitions of toxic masculinity in the literature, there are a few findings from research that have remained stable over the years (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). Toxic masculinity involves a hierarchy of gender constructions of masculinity, in which “patterns of masculinity are socially defined in contradistinction from some model (real or imaginary) of femininity” (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005, p. 848). Masculinity is usually defined as stereotypical bodies and behaviors that are the opposite of femininity, usually incorporating dominance over women and other men who do not fit the masculinity category. Toxic masculinity comprises global, regional, and local constructions of masculinity, and includes the social embodiment of hegemonic masculinity (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005).

In a study of men’s rights online communities, Ging (2017) found that the internet provides a space for transnational homogenization of masculinity, in which local and regional masculinities are made global by the capacity of discursive aggregation and amplification. The authors found the reproduction of hegemonic masculinity in these communities is heavily based on a superficial interpretation of evolutionary psychology, relying heavily on genetic determinism to explain sexuality in the context of masculinity and femininity as genetic. Hegemonic masculinity and misogyny are supported by a few recurring claims, including that women are “irrational, hypergamous, hardwired to pair with alpha males, and need to be dominated” (p. 12). Importantly, the researchers found that a specific feature of men’s rights online communities was extreme misogyny, frequent personal attacks of women, and self-positioning as victims of feminism and political correctness. This particular use of self-positioning as victims allows men to “strategically distance themselves from hegemonic masculinity while simultaneously compounding existing hierarchies of power and inequality online” (Ging, 2017, p. 14). In this study, there were three main themes that emerged within the culture of toxic masculinity found in the posts: (a) “crazy broad,” (b) “not just about the money,” and (c) “into rough stuff.”

Crazy broad

There was a highly prevalent discourse involving less empathy for women and concomitantly more empathy for men in the posts. This was exemplified by posts in which johns demonstrated empathy for other johns who expressed difficult experiences with women escorts, as well as other men who may have connections with women escorts. This was found usually in conjunction to expressing no empathy for escorts and women who might be in a vulnerable situation or have personal difficulties. This theme is congruent with misogyny associated with toxic masculinity and maintenance of the gender hierarchy. This can be seen in posts in which women escorts are portrayed as manipulative and men are portrayed as being victims of that manipulation as well as patient and honorable for dealing with women’s unreasonable requests or expectations:

Original Post: J (Regular Member, Posts: 21): I got the impression that the shake hands line was her attempt to cuckold him a little. She said she’s not with him anymore but still fucks her other baby daddy when she can. I could see myself knocking her up and she brags about it to that poor dude and he just snaps and sets the whole house on fire. No thanks. The other baby daddy is six shades of army PTSD crazy too from what I overheard.

Replies: S (Senior Member, Posts: 61): Man I give you credit for your patience and balls to deal with that crazy broad. I wouldn’t be able to get a hard on during such a crazy adventure.

T (Senior Member, Posts: 261): As far as the killing thing goes, it always was in the back of my mind that the guy could snap and someone gets hurt. His life history is sort of sad. His mom was a working girl as was at least one of his sisters. He actually sounds like a good guy who can’t walk away from this. I know there was huge drama when one of the babies turned out to be a customers and not his. Incidentally she will keep working right up to delivery day for the preggo fans. Was never my cup of tea.

Buyers who write comments maintain this gender hierarchy by extending empathy and understanding for men, while vilifying escorts and women in general. A self-positioned victimhood was present in the posts, a narrative in which men have been victimized by women escorts through manipulation. This might allow for men to position themselves in the margins of hegemonic masculinity and hypermasculinity as a way to embrace characteristics that are perceived as more feminine (e.g., kindness, patience, empathy). This self-positioning in the margins, however, is still safe for johns in the context of the online forum, because it is done by upholding misogyny and retaining male privilege in the discourse.

The discursive element of the crazy broad as subhuman reinforces the status quo in two different ways: (a) maintaining misogyny, the crazy broad as someone/something that should be avoided and hated, and (b) maintaining gender hierarchy. The crazy broad defines hegemonic masculinity as dominant and superior by defining what it means not to be a man. This creates space for homosocial interactions within the online community of buyers, in which they all see themselves as part of a superior group that shares masculinity and, consequently, are against femininity:

Original Post: Z (Senior Member, Posts: 155): She’s a total fucking psychopath on the phone. I sent her a polite message one time asking when she is available and she sent me back about 10 angry text messages about how I was not respecting her, how nobody walks into a car dealership and asks when cars are available. I sent her back a text saying sorry if I offended you in anyway, and she sent back another message saying that I was now “playing mind games with her. “ Basically, fuck this chick, if she is that much of a touchy psychopath on the phone then she must be even worse in person. I’d stay away, and it’s been reported by multiple users that she is also a bit of a racist and also, not the girl in the pics. Avoid.

Replies: S (Senior Member, Posts: 27): Reading your experience, the prostitute Nazi was my first thought.

S (Senior Member, Posts: 603): Really shows that she plays mind games. With herself! It might just be on my end here, however when I click on her reviews or comments which indicates there are several it defaults back to Joy? Again might just be on this end, however yea I agree this woman is out there. You can bet she has one heck of a temper as well. Now that I have had experience with with that pro known as a friend only I knew when I first moved back to chi-town. Her temper was scary crazy! This woman feels the same way imo. Oh BTW- her justification for her being older is that older guys (I am way over the hill and long been sliding down the 60s) don’t want to date someone that could be their daughter!! Really? I dated a provider that could have been my granddaughter so that blows her theory out of the water at least in my personal case. If I didn’t have to pay for a 20 something year old does one think they would date me? Hardly. Money talks and you fellas know the rest.

Buyers seem to share fables or cautionary tales that embody the crazy broad discursive theme in many posts. By using experiences and stories to communicate this encoded meaning, johns assume the reader has not only the knowledge to decode the meaning but will validate and encourage the communication of misogyny as a way to build homosocial connections. Furthermore, crazy broad cautionary tales seem to involve escorts behaving in a way that undermines the norm, which is described as a consequence of her mental health, personality, and gender.

Not just about the money

Another prevalent theme in many posts was the entitlement to sexual access to escorts who should want to be with them. There were many posts in which buyers expressed the belief that escorts should have a “positive attitude,” which seems to include characteristics congruent with the hegemonic femininity stereotype (e.g., nice, passive, happy, grateful), complimenting johns, and enjoying the service they are requested to do:

Original Post T (Senior Member, Posts: 473): Hasn’t she been discussed a lot recently. She is a hot looking lady but attitude is the worse. She use to go by Lory and some other l name. Use to advertise that she EXPECTED her clients to manscape and if you didn’t know what that was to look it up. Attitude is everything.

Reply Z (Senior Member, Posts: 155): I agree with all the sentiments here. This is one to avoid unless you want drama and a terrible attitude.

Buyers seem to have a nuanced and complex relationship with sex as a commodity. There were many posts that reinforced and reproduced the belief that buying sex is just a market exchange, through impersonal and far-removed comments about pricing, cost/benefit, and procedures to acquire a woman escort. There is a reinforced culture that buyers are just acquiring a product to fulfill sexual necessities that are disconnected from any emotional or relational experience. At the same time, there is an expectation that women escorts should be happy and excited about the services they are providing—that they should love the business for more than just the money:

Original Post S (Senior Member, Posts: 603): All of these rules! However, they change their names, phone numbers, emails hundreds of times, go radio silent, type about what we’ll like about them (their descriptions look like we are going to encounter a current victoria secret model experience) and then tell us how they absolutely love this business! Total complete and any other words one might choose to describe bs! One thing that friend pro taught me that I keep bringing up is that the biz is absolute s**t at all levels and they do the work for one and only one reason. The mean green! Control of men can become an ingredient in the mix, however it is not just about the money it is all about the money! If I had the money I would go into sugar daddy mode and let a non pro young pretty thing drain me in more ways than one!

Many posts construct a discourse surrounding the expectation that women should have a “positive attitude” as part of the service provided, and feeling entitled to an immersive experience that they believe, or at least in part believe, is real. This is an interesting phenomenon. Expectations that people must enjoy every aspect of their jobs does not seem to exist in other contexts, but within the commercial sex industry norms seem to change to adapt to hegemonic masculinity. The discourse surrounding sex within dominant toxic masculinity maintains that women should enjoy having sex with men, and masculinity is tied to the ability of freely obtaining heterosexual sex when desired. This justification rhetoric appears in buyers’ posts when they talk about sex as a commodity, but a commodity that women escorts should enjoy and want to participate in. Those who do not present with a “positive attitude” and do not conform to the norm are perceived and rated negatively.

Into rough stuff

The final theme present in johns’ posts representative of toxic masculinity refers to dominance over women as positive, praised, and encouraged. This is a way in which dominance over women is accomplished specifically through violence. This seems to be a widely accepted and disseminated aspect of toxic masculinity within the forum, and it is connected and supported by the previously discussed beliefs that women are inferior and expected to enjoy being with buyers:

Original Post M (Regular Member, Posts: 21) Did you ever see her? Are the pics real? BBBJCIM? I’m super interested in this one. Either reply or PM me. Thank you.

Replies C (Regular Member, Posts: 24) I saw her. Had a good time. She is a kinky one that aims to please. Pics are accurate. Her teeth are kinda meh but could be fixed with braces. Good BBBJ. Lots of DFK. Into rough stuff. Likes being choked, spanked, basically abused and I got to pee on her so that was fun. She even went over time. I had a good time and would repeat. Make sure you ask her to bring her fun bag.

Abbreviations: BBBJ = bare back blowjob (oral sex without a condom); CIM = cum in mouth; PM = private message; DFK = deep French kissing.

The normalization of violence against women escorts and women in general was very pervasive in the posts analyzed, in subtle and overt discourse. The discourse that abuse is fun, and reinforcement of that discourse, has implications for the construction of masculinity and the safety of women. Various degrees of violence against women were present, including sexual objectification, harassment, and coercion. Given the prevalence and significance of this discourse, we have chosen to analyze it as a separate theme. It is important to note, however, that violence against women is a byproduct of overall misogyny that underlies the construction and maintenance of toxic masculinity and the dominant discourse.

Violence Against Women

Johns construct and normalize narratives of violence and violation through multiple discourses of harm. This discourse is positioned on a continuum of male sexual violence, including narratives of physical and emotional violence perpetrated against women escorts. All the violence against women narratives were grounded in norms of hegemonic masculinity and misogyny. There were three main themes that emerged within the continuum of violence against women: (a) sexual objectification, (b) violating safe practices, and (c) blurring of consent.

Sexual objectification

Sexual objectification entails being treated and looked at as a sexual object for someone’s use. Specifically, sexual objectification “occurs whenever a woman’s body, body parts, or sexual functions are separated out from her person, reduced to the status of mere instruments, or regarded as if they were capable of representing her” (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997, p. 175). Although the posts themselves can be seen as objectification of women to some degree by reducing them to body parts and sexual objects that can be reviewed (Jovanovski & Tyler, 2018), this theme included explicit posts in which women escorts were reduced to sexual body parts and functions, directly compared with objects, or framed in dehumanizing ways:

Original Post T (Senior Member, Posts: 261): Xanie is who the other dude was offering to trade for seniors only with? LOL. That girl has a lot of miles on that ass and she’s been out of her 20s for quite a while. But truth is she is a good time and nice to see she’s still around.

Original Post V (Senior Member, Posts: 73): Worth it. She’s definitely older, but in really good shape (still fit). Pretty face, good curves, and takes a pounding. It’s been about 6 months since I’ve seen her, but I would again.

Original Post L (Senior Member, Posts: 30): Saw her. She’s cute enough, but not hot. She showed up and looked delicious in her Forever 21 outfit, but once the outer layers were peeled off, I found she had a frumpy lower half. Tits are nice and tight but the ass and hips were a little sloppy. Too bad really because she claims she’s 19 and looks it and acts like it. She has a tattoo mural thing she’s getting removed right below her tit line. Looks like a gang tattoo and from talking to her, I would guess she was some Latin gang ****. But the puss and the youthfulness is nice. Her oral skills are pretty good, she just needs to work on her finesse a bit. I really do like the fact that she’s Asian American. I got tired of all the different Spanish, European and Asian accents available out there. I prefer to cope with them when I know for sure that the foreign girl is smoking hot. I could never get into Agency X, but if I could and the girls are as hot as some say, I’d rather spend the 300 there. This girl isn’t worth more than 200 in my opinion. Also, she was on Agency Y for a while and was a pain to meet then, but a poster on the Agency Y thread here gave her a lower rating and called her a butterface. A little harsh, but we all have our tastes.

This objectification discourse is part of the continuum of male violence against women escorts and it seems to be the foundation on which the enactment of male power over women stands. Posts use objectifying and dehumanizing language (e.g., “miles on that ass,” “takes a pounding,” “good shape,” “looked delicious,” “frumpy lower half”) to reinforce narratives of domination, male superiority, and violence. This serves to construct and maintain a culture of violence against women and dehumanization of women escorts within the online community. In the post above, the john writes he “got tired of all the different Spanish, European and Asian accents available out there,” making use of dehumanizing and objectifying language to speak of accents devoid of personhood, as another part of a commodity that can be bought and used:

Original Post W (Regular Member, Posts: 27): Well folks, I had a dream about Oie this weekend. With my only comparison to Star, I will say I Enjoyed Star so much more. Oie is pretty and has some nice knockers but definitely felt more mechanical. I do wish I hit up Star this session instead. Also being on the shorter end (shorter than 5′10″ She was a bit taller than me which was a different dynamic I wasn’t used to. All in all I got DFK, BBBJ, CFS and 2 pops. I’d say def worth a shot but Star has much more personality and is overall a joy.

Replies: S (Regular Member, Posts: 6): Is she natural or enhanced? Hard to tell in the photos.

V (Senior Member, Posts: 50): She’s enhanced the last time I saw her. She was incredible and very sweet. Her enhancements are well made and felt good! Is she and Star both at the same location?

Abbreviations/terms: dream about = acquired services from; BBBJ = bare back blowjob (oral sex without condom); DFK = deep French kissing; CFS = covered full service (sex with condom).

Overt objectification of women is sometimes interspersed with the not just about the money toxic masculinity theme, in which a “positive attitude,” or having personality is seen as a desirable trait in women escorts. This interesting juxtaposition—of woman as object and person—seems contradictory, but it serves the same purpose: to construct a narrative in which male pleasure is the desired outcome for both the men and the women engaging in a sexual interaction.

Violating safe practices

This theme includes discourse that constructs and promotes a culture of unsafe sexual practices. Unsafe sexual practices are framed as an expected and normal part of the experience of buying sex, and part of the sex-buyer culture. This is part of the continuum of violence against women found in the buyers’ posts, and it is specifically important given the implications for the physical health and well-being of the women escorts (Jovanovski & Tyler, 2018):

Original Post C: Brittany is a very pretty girl. Unfortunately for me it was a very average experience. Everything was covered, and she mostly waits for instruction and you to take the lead. I would not repeat as I believe there is better value out there IMHO.

Replies: R (Senior Member, Posts: 1122): Covered BJ? WTF! I rescind my recommendation.

T (Senior Member, Posts: 105): A CBJ from an Modeling Avenue girl is a deeply disturbing development. If this were to happen to me I would definitely bring it to Sheila attention.

Abbreviations: IMHO = in my humble opinion; BJ = blowjob (oral sex); WTF = what the fuck; CBJ = covered blowjob (oral sex with condom).

The normalization and exaltation of unsafe practices seems to create a culture in which women escorts may feel pressured to accept unsafe sex to earn money or to get a good review, furthering normalization of violence and coercion. Toxic masculinity and the narrative of entitlement and control are integrated with the unsafe practice discourse, in which women who have boundaries regarding safe sex are contrary to the norm, and therefore should be rated negatively. Furthermore, the frequent use of acronyms that reference unsafe sexual practices is one of the ways in which these are normalized and constitutive of comradery among johns in the online community (Williams et al., 2008). By using abbreviations and acronyms, johns ensure that the posts seem less sexual and more akin to a Yelp review, which furthers commodification and community building:

Original Post H (Senior Member, Posts: 127): Milking Table. I’m not sure where this belongs but FS is available so we’ll give this thread a shot. I finally pulled the trigger on those ads on Agency A with the red milking table. 3 or 4 girls working there and I pulled April. Young, petite, lots of tattoos and piercings. I actually recognized the stomach tattoo from her time at Agency B, but I can’t remember the name she used there. Anyway, table was clean, the rub was decent, and plenty of time was left for her to slip under the table and finish things off with a CBJ. It was so good that I didn’t even realize she had slipped on a cover until I flipped back over and saw my dick wrapped up in a hat full of the load I thought I just dumped into her mouth. I may return for more but didn’t want to get too invested since this was an exploratory visit.

Reply R (Senior Member, Posts: 2186): I always make sure the girl is in my line of sight to put a load in her mouth. CBJ doesn’t work for me.

The use of a condom is enclosed in discourse that seems to be about more than physical stimulation. In addition to upholding hegemonic masculinity discourse (i.e., men are active actors and women are passive receivers) within the forum, the negative connotation attributed to safe sexual practices seems to be tied to retaining dominance and control over the situation. Dominance seems to be linked to unsafe sexual practices, by reproducing norms of men being decision makers, entitled to pleasure, and without any stakes or responsibilities regarding the consequences of those practices for women escorts:

Original Post J (Regular Member, Posts: 21): The most stereotypical hooker story ever. I just met up with this girl Amy. Sexy photos and a decent price, so I thought it was worth a go despite the mixed reviews. The knock was that she rushes. Figured it was from people getting QVs so I decided to go for a full hour. It wasn’t that much more, so figured it was worth it. Her place is a total dump but that turned out to be the least of the trouble. Let’s see if I can remember it all: She got into a huge argument over the phone with her baby daddy and broke down crying. It was filled with TMI moments that I really wish I never heard. She kept wandering around her place looking for random things. Phone charger, hairbrush, water, yogurt (It took an hour before she finally was ready) Definitely wasn’t in a rush this time! I wish she was. Just when we are finally about to start, she realized she had no condoms. I wasn’t about to leave after I already paid her to go buy some. So she said she would just give me a BBBJ. She promised that I could CIM as much as I want in the hour. Wasn’t happy but fine. Finally was about to start when her other baby daddy suddenly came in with groceries. So they start arguing while I’m trying to pull my pants up. She tells me not to leave, we’ll go to the attic and finish. We go upstairs and the attic is a disaster. She spends another 30 minutes cleaning it up trying to get a mattress there cleaned up and ready. The whole time she’s oversharing all kinds of terrible details about her life and. Vices. I finally sit on the crusty mattress ready for this BBBJ she keeps bragging about and she runs off looking for stuff again. A white towel because she said her blowjobs are messy, some wet wipes, hand sanitizer. I am so pissed but keep hoping it’s about to start. Finally she says she has everything. She positions a pillow to kneel on, eats a spoonful of yogurt for some reason, and. The BBBJ is actually really good. Really good. She goes at it for a good 10 minutes and she looks up at me and says “you have a nice dick. I wish you bought some condoms but I might have to fuck that dick anyway.” But she overshared so much that I don’t know if raw dogging her is a good idea. I CIM and she disappeared somewhere again. I thought it was to spit it out, so I sat there to recover while I debated whether or not to fuck her. Turns out I didn’t need to make a decision. She totally vanished. No idea where she went. I got up, got dressed and tried to leave. But the door downstairs was locked from the other side, so I couldn’t get out! I ended up finding my way to a subbasement and there was an unlocked door that led to a garage that I was able to open to leave. I have no idea where she went. I never heard anything from her again. Mongering is a weird life sometimes. Still, good BBBJ. Maybe not 3+ hour of sitting around good. But QV good. Stick with that.

Abbreviations: QV = quick visit (approximately 15 min); BBBJ = bare back blowjob (oral sex without a condom); CIM = cum in mouth.

This post represents the complexity found in the discourse of buyers regarding toxic masculinity and violence against women. The discourse of the crazy broad serves as a foundation for the justification of unsafe practices and violence against women, weaved in a narrative that self-positions the buyer as the victim of a bad service. There is also a discourse that draws on the not just about the money theme, in which the woman escort does not have the right kind of “positive attitude”—she shares emotional and relational connections, but not in the passive normative way expected by buyers; therefore, she assumes a negative connotation in the narrative. The only time in the narrative in which she regains some positive connotation is when she portrays the expected “positive attitude” by saying the john has a “nice dick.” The post ends as it began, with community building discourse regarding the cautionary tale, warning, and review for other buyers.

Blurring of consent

This theme includes posts which describe a disregard for safety or boundaries from buyers, and negative reactions to the setting of boundaries in the context of violence against women escorts. This includes buyers’ accounts of women escorts feeling uncomfortable with certain sex acts, and women not consenting to specific acts described and constructed as bad service:

Original Post P (Senior Member, Posts: 29): Hi there. Sheila says that Annie is a traveler. Unfortunately, she has been misleading lately as far as girls’ willingness to do greek. Any idea if she actually does greek?

Original Post T (Senior Member, Posts: 261): Yeah, I got the impression that he hated the job when I met him. I’ve never had that happen before. She was awkwardly like “oh. You want to shake hands?” And we look at her like she’s crazy LOL. On the other hand I never had coke snorted off my dick before so that was different. I think if I stayed someone would have come up and killed me or she would have come back and I would have had a moment of weakness and creampied the fuck out of her.

Terms: creampied = cum in vagina; greek = anal sex.

In the posts, buyers discursively assert their power over women escorts by normalizing unwanted sex acts and lack of consent through the rhetoric of customer service. Similarly to Jovanovski and Tyler’s (2018) findings, there was a pervasive narrative of “male sexual pleasure overriding the importance of women’s physical safety” (p. 1901), or consent. There were also many posts which alluded to drug use by women escorts, or “vices,” as a personal problem or character flaw, but no regard for safety and consent:

Original Post J (Regular Member, Posts: 21): Oh I remember this one very well. Can’t believe she’s back. Looks like she’s decided to just do massages now, which suits her better. She’s a strange girl. She’s been in and out of the business for years. She’ll create an entirely new name and persona, work for about a year, then totally scrub her web presence and vanish for a couple of years before resurfacing. She’s actually a sweet girl. In her previous incarnation she was doing minimum 2 hour dates (but at a reasonable rates). We went to dinner, and she was awkward, geeky and very shy. It was like an actual first date. Went back to my place after where we made out for a long time. Did some DATY but then she stopped me and said it felt too soon for us. I was like “This isn’t an actual date.” She said she knows, but needs more time and insisted that we talk more. “No charge” she said. So she ended up staying at my place talking for hours. I learned WAY too much about her and how she does this in between relationships so she won’t be lonely, etc. Finally, after finishing a bottle of wine she’s loosened up enough to go back to the bedroom. Back to making out, she won’t let me DATY again so soon, we are just making out for a good hour. It was ridiculous. An hour later my cock isn’t very hard anymore because I don’t know what her angle is. Then she whispers in my ear, “I think I’m ready” and I’m thinking “about effin time.” I go back to DATY and she likes it a lot more the second time, which was cool. But then she stopped me AGAIN and said she was about to cum and orgasms are too intimate for her on a first date. IT’S NOT A DATE! To her credit she did do a BBBJ, but she couldn’t get very much in. I’m not huge, but it’s like she never really figured it out. She said she was out of practice, and put the cover on. Unfortunately, she was so tight and awkward that it was hard to fit in, and I couldn’t go all the way in without hurting her. But I couldn’t go in deep enough to be able to cum and she wasn’t complaining, but she was wincing which made me feel bad. I decided to pull out and asked her to finish me with her hand, and she was actually really good at that. She has tiny little hands that turned me on. All and all I had mixed feelings about the whole thing. I mean $400 for 8 hours is every monger’s dream. And if you’re into the innocent young virgin thing, you might enjoy that whole process. But it was a lot of work. A couple of days later I tried to post a review on TER but she somehow put herself on a blocked list, and she had already taken down her website and ads. I say all that to say, erotic massages are probably a much better fit for her anyway. I’d give it a go.

Abbreviations: DATY = dining at the “Y” (oral sex on a woman).

A common rhetoric found in blurring of consent posts is the self-positioning as victims of bad service or unreciprocated sexual acts, which allows johns to downplay their role on the violence and violation of consent. This re-centers the narrative around their patience with bad service, and allows instances of violation in the narrative (e.g., “after finishing a bottle of wine she’s loosened up enough,” “I couldn’t go all the way in without hurting her,” “she was wincing”) to go unnoticed in the background of a discourse which is constructed around the buyer’s positive attributes that allow him to be patient and nice in this situation.

All narratives in the continuum of violence against women (i.e., sexual objectification, violation of safe practices, and blurring of consent) are normalized and reinforced in the community of buyers by a constant and pervasive discourse of misogyny and toxic masculinity. Furthermore, these themes are consistent with violence against women themes found in online communities of buyers in Australia (Jovanovski & Tyler, 2018). More studies in different countries and johns’ online communities are needed, but these findings hit at a global construction of toxic and hegemonic masculinity that seems to be enacted in these online forums as a strategy to build homosocial connections and normalize and justify misogyny and violence against women escorts (Ging, 2017; Williams et al., 2008).

Intersectionality of Sexuality, Race, and Age

The commercial sex industry in the United States perpetuates structural inequalities based on race, gender, and class (Butler, 2016; Valine, 2019). The prevalence of raced and aged posts by johns reflects a microcosm of racism and stereotypes present in society, and maintains power inequality in the online community. Currently in the United States, African American women carry the stigma of promiscuity, lack of sexual restraint, and fertility (Hill-Collins, 2004), and Asian women are stereotyped as innocent, submissive, docile, and having lower agency in sexual activities (Zhou & Paul, 2016). Analyzing the intersectionality of race and sexuality in posts regarding women escorts is extremely important given that consent and agency are obscured by racism and coercion. According to Butler (2016), “the modem commercial sex industry uses the racial sexual stereotypes and other strategies to intentionally exploit, oppress, and demoralize people of color in prostitution” (p. 139):

Original Post R (Regular Member, Posts: 14): Anybody have any good recommendations on AA girls? Preferably one who will do anything or some crazy shit?

Original Post H (Regular Member, Posts: 1): Visited the 36 year old Japanese woman, who is advertising she is lactating. She is not. Cute, doesn’t speak English, very mechanical. Won’t repeat.

Abbreviations: AA = Asian American.

Many posts further objectification of women escorts through raced and aged discourses, with many johns asking for reviews and recommendations of women escorts of a specific race, age, or both. Stereotypes regarding the sexuality of women of different races seem to be reproduced in the forum by buyers, and buyers seem to actively seek stereotyped raced sexual experiences with women escorts:

Original Post C (Regular Member, Posts: 32): I’ve never used Agency W because I’m already assuming none of the girls can speak English and have had a lot of work like all Korean girls always do. They might be a better option, so it just depends on your preference. I was just providing feedback on an Asian Indy that’s a little different from what you probably get from the typical Asian. She does allow MSOG but not DFK and more submissive so if that’s important to you, she might not be right for you. She’s has a nice natural body, pretty face and is Asian American which I wish I could find more of with Asian girls.

Replies D (Senior Member, Posts: 280): Thanks. That was exactly what I was hoping you would say. I prefer Indy Asians for this very reason.

G (Regular Member, Posts: 21): She sounds like a girl I saw with Agency X roughly a year or so ago. Very young Asian American more on the submissive side (I remember she was half-Cambodian). Either way, she sounds great, if she lowers her incall to match her outcall rate I will see her in a heartbeat.

Abbreviations/terms: Indy = independent; MSOG = multiple shots on goal (multiple ejaculations for one fee); DFK = deep French kissing.

The intersectionality of gender and race in women escorts makes them more vulnerable to sexual exploitation and violence perpetrated by johns and reinforced by dominant norms. The compounded effect of racial and gender marginalization (Crenshaw, 1989) appears to be exploited by buyers to further enact male dominance. There is a normalization of stereotypes and racism in the online forum, which is another way male dominance and the status quo are constructed and maintained. Much like the not just about the money theme of the expectation that women escorts have a “positive attitude,” for women escorts of color there is an expectation of a raced and stereotyped “positive attitude,” adding another layer of vulnerability, oppression, and blurring of consent:

Original Post T (Senior Member, Posts: 473): I saw her a few years ago tall good looking MILF I know she was a user at one point but I had awesome time w her. BBBJ cfs.

Original Post T (Senior Member, Posts: 77): My strange fetish. Women is their 40s and 50s, tan, very good shape, with bolt ons. Emma at Agency C is an example. Or Chrissy at Agency D. I know this is a niche, but I’m loving the older, fit, tanned MILF.

Abbreviations/terms: BBBJ = bare back blowjob (oral sex without condom); MILF = mother I’d like to fuck; CFS = covered full service (sex with condom); bolt ons = breast implants.

Age was another identity that was present in the discourse of sexuality in johns’ posts. There were many posts in which women were described as “young,” “young looking,” “middle age,” “been around for a long time,” among other age qualifiers. Traditional sexual scripts seem to be constructed and maintained in the community, in which younger women are preferred, but there are a few types of older women who are also accepted as desirable. Many buyers posted comments asking if the pictures in the ads of women escorts were accurate regarding age, and there were many comments in which race, age, and sexuality intersected in regard to johns looking for a specific sexual experience.

Maintenance of the Community

There were a few ways in which norms and expectations were constructed, maintained, and reinforced by johns in the online forum. One of the main forms of rhetoric used in the construction of this community was the use of language in the form of unique terms and acronyms. The use of unique terms and acronyms, which are usually gendered and raced, allows for male online communities to develop homosocial bonding and perform fraternity based on shared hegemonic masculinity (Ging, 2017; Williams et al., 2008). There were two main themes that emerged connected to community maintenance: safety within the community and monger identity.

Safety within the community

The maintenance of safety of buyers within the community seemed to be an important norm that buyers participating in the online forum engaged in. This was present in discourse related to cautionary tales about women escorts and services provided, validation of difficult or unexpected experiences, communication of reviews and services provided by women escorts or agencies, requesting recommendations, and asking for help in determining legitimacy:

Original Post G (Regular Member, Posts: 2): Fellow Travelers: I’ve been out of this for several years. So essentially I’m a beginner. I’m more than rusty when it comes to identifying scams and worse, the police. Frankly, I don’t trust myself. I used to be a member of RS 2000 and I was confident that at least I wouldn’t be arrested. Now, I want to phone a woman who calls herself “Rachel” on Adult Search to figure out if she’s more or less what she represents herself to be and whether or not we are compatible. Is there anyone who can help? Perhaps you know her. Her ad can be found at: Thanks.

Original Post W (Regular Member, Posts: 27): Google the digits. I got ads with too very different looking girls, both TGTBT. Maybe you’ll hit the jackpot, but be careful out there. Please let me know how it goes!

Abbreviations: TGTBT = too good to be true.

Original Post I (Regular Member, Posts: 3): Hi, I’ve seen her several times, all of them enjoyable. Nice woman, great service, in a nice, clean safe place.

Maintenance of safety within the community seemed to be a norm that buyers took seriously and were very responsive too. This norm seems to be more than just about individual safety, but about the protection of the community of buyers as a whole. Some of the discourse surrounding safety seemed to reflect a recent culture shift regarding the possibility of being detained or arrested. Buyers in the forum seemed to provide information about legitimacy of ads, or different ways in which johns could differentiate woman escorts from police officers.

Monger identity

Buyers in the forum seem to uphold the monger identity in the discourse surrounding buying sex. Monger is short for whoremonger, an 18th-century term to refer to someone who frequents prostitutes or buys sex. Whoremongering, “if not overtly encouraged, was an expected and often accepted, aspect of male conduct” (Khan, 2016, p. 82), reinforcing masculinity by demonstrating heterosexual desire. The discourse surrounding the identity of monger seems similar to its original definition: buyers construct a discourse in which mongering is not an act or series of behaviors, but a part of their identity that upholds the dominant heteronormative masculinity. Rhetoric around mongering serves the purpose of building connections, bonding, and maintaining a homosocial sphere of understanding of this chosen lifestyle (e.g., “mongering is a weird life sometimes,” “it’s every monger’s dream”):

Original Post D (Senior Member, Posts: 427): C thank you for your post! Starting to wonder how many other diamonds I’m missing out on. Usually I would pass over an ad like Britta’s, not much info out there and because she’s outcall only. Unlike the usual ORD Asian Escort including Shay and her little act, Britta is Asian American and real. She is so young and stunning. Not being a monger stud I tend to get a little nervous around such youthful bliss. Not to mention outcall as our first encounter. But Britta was very patient and accommodating. Amazing eyes, beautiful smile, perfect ass, those incredible B cups, the list is endless. I enjoyed DATY, BBBJ (great technique), 69 (great view of that ass). Finished in the bag by pounding her in lazy K9. I love it when the girl is so tight, you forget you’re wearing the stupid condom. See her, YOLO. Sweet girl, treat her right.

Abbreviations: BBBJ = bare back blowjob (oral sex without condom); DATY = dining at the “Y” (oral sex on a woman); K9 = canine (sexual position); YOLO = you only live once; ORD = city of Chicago (referring to the O’Hare Airport).

The monger identity seemed to be present in discourse even among johns who maybe did not identify with the stereotypical monger identity (e.g., “not being a monger stud I tend to get a little nervous”), but still within the overall identity of monger as a buyer of sex and member of this community.

Limitations

Several limitations must be noted about our study. First, the men who wrote these reviews may not be representative of all sex buyers. They are johns who have bought sex, are aware of online supportive communities, and choose to publish online reviews of escorts. This might indicate they regularly buy sex, and are comfortable with their identity as a “monger,” which may not be the case for all johns. Furthermore, online forums are performative, and it may be the case that johns tailor their posts specifically for their audience (i.e., other sex buyers), and may not always be an accurate description of their experiences. Nevertheless, it continues to be a rich source of data potentially without the significant impact of social desirability. Finally, these posts were in a public forum dedicated specifically to the Chicago area, and the experiences described by johns may not be the same in other metropolitan or rural areas.

Implications for Research and Practice

Toxic masculinity is constructed and maintained by subtle and overt expressions of misogyny, male dominance and superiority, entitlement, and a wide spectrum of violence against women. The discourse of violence against women escorts is justified by toxic masculinity norms, and includes sexual objectification, exaltation of unsafe sexual practices, and lack of concern for safety and consent. Furthermore, raced and aged sexuality is reproduced in the online community, enhancing vulnerability and victimization of marginalized women escorts and maintaining stereotypes. There seem to be different ways in which the online buyer community and fraternity is maintained, including use of unique language and acronyms, utilizing self-positioned victimization in narratives to center their experiences, looking out for each other’s safety, and upholding the monger identity within the community. Overall, our analysis demonstrates that sex buyers justify their actions by normalizing violence against women and maintaining narratives associated with toxic masculinity. Our study advances on the previous literature on sex trafficking and sex buyers, as (a) it focuses on buyers’ online and unmoderated narratives, and (b) it focuses on the demand for services and not only on the narrative of women survivors.

Our findings imply that public policies should be focused on decreasing demand, potentially increasing barriers to buyers to reduce sex trafficking and violence against women. Johns’ attitudes seem to be closely associated with violence against women, toxic masculinity, and community maintenance and support. Hence, future preventive measures should be developed to challenge hegemonic masculinity assumptions, including critical analysis and consumption of gender-based attitudes, which may dissuade potential buyers from engaging with the commercial sex industry. Findings from this study further demonstrate that johns’ monger identity is closely connected to perpetrating and minimizing violence against women. Future research should be designed to differentiate between men who do and do not buy sex, so preventive measures to dissuade sex buyers can be more specific and effective.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Klaus E. Cavalhieri

Author Biographies

Catarina D. B. Alves (MA) is a Doctoral Candidate in the Counseling Psychology program at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. She is currently completing her pre-doctoral internship at the University of Maine. In her clinical work, she specializes in trauma, sex-trafficking, and gender-based violence. Her research interests focus on sex-trafficking, rape myth acceptance, and objectification theory.

Klaus E. Cavalhieri (PhD) is an Assistant Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of North Dakota. He received his doctorate in counseling psychology from Southern Illinois University, Carbondale, where he also completed his pre-doctoral internship. His research interests include violence against women and minority stress, particularly as it relates to social class and race.

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