Abstract
The concept of “toxic masculinity” is having a field day as of late in both academic and nonacademic spheres. A recent Google search elicited more than seven million listings on the term. Published books on the phenomenon are growing. Often the concept is discussed in relation to the phrase “healthy masculinity” (and its variations), representing a certain contemporary discourse on men and masculinities. It is at this juncture of heightened attention to these constructs that Peggy Orenstein’s Boys & Sex enters the fold.
In Boys & Sex, Orenstein addresses the “toxic masculinity” of young men in U.S. high schools and colleges, focusing particularly on “bro culture” (chapter 1), porn use (chapter 2), issues of consent and assault (chapters 3, 6, 7 and 8), and how it impacts sexual, gender, and racial minority men (chapters 4 and 5). Orenstein interviewed over 100 young men for the book, aged 16 years to 22 years. Generally, each chapter focuses on the stories of between one and a couple of young men, with considerable referencing to outside research or analyses to help frame them. Woven throughout the book is an emphasis on the need for young men to develop a more “healthy masculinity”, concluding with practical tips and suggestions for parents to foster it in their children.
Orenstein notes that many of the young men she interviewed experienced a conflict between having more contemporary views of masculinity while still adhering to the values of “toxic masculinity.” This dissonance between “toxic” and more “healthy masculinity” appears throughout the book. In chapter 1, Orenstein takes the reader through “bro culture” where what she sees as the scaffolding of “toxic masculinity”—emotional numbness, denigrating women and “scoring”—can be found. This is where boys like Cole, an 18-year-old, who believes in gender equality, will in most cases stay silent when he hears his peers making misogynistic comments for fear of losing status. Several chapters explore the issue of consent. Chapter 3 addresses it in terms of hookup culture where Orenstein notes how it conforms well to the rules of “toxic masculinity.” In this chapter, we learn about a “feminist fuckboy” who facilitates consent workshops but still treats women as disposable. The book’s middle chapters address the experiences of young sexual, gender, and racial minority men, including the story of Xavier, an African-American man, who is alert to his every move as he navigates his predominately white college. The “healthy masculinity” Orenstein advocates throughout the book includes an ability to express a full range of emotions, possessing a certain sexual ethics, and a capacity to be critical of gender norms.
Boys & Sex excels in its analysis and stories. The book is effective in showing how the more extreme forms of masculinity (in terms of views and practices) shape the lives of young men and the young women involved with them. As Orenstein contends, “[m]en learn too often, subtly or overtly, to prioritize their pleasure over women’s feelings” (p. 175). The story of undergraduates Anwen and Sameer (from Chapter 8) exemplify this in the extreme. Anwen was uninterested in Sameer, but Sameer, focusing only on his needs, wouldn’t listen and kept pursuing. Even after Sameer sexually assaulted Anwen, he didn’t understanding the harm he caused until much later.
Where the book could have done more is its framing and method. The use of terms “toxic” and “healthy” are problematic in that they frame the issue of masculinity as either a sickness or an antidote as opposed to a power relation that men reproduce. This doesn’t mean that Orenstein isn’t conscious of power (see Chapter 1, p. 28, for example) but the framing can work to construct the men as not responsible. As Orenstein states, “the traditional conception of manhood still holds sway, dictating how boys think, feel, and behave” (p. 13), situating the problem as primarily ideological. In addition, as Orenstein is a journalist, the book provides few details about her method, besides a short introductory description, which hinders readers’ ability to evaluate it on methodological grounds.
Framing and method aside, Boys & Sex raises a host of issues that U.S. society has yet to fully grasp, including violence against women, cultural sexism, and the problems of masculinity for both men and women. Orenstein offers scholars of men and masculinities much to ponder and explore further in terms of issues of gender norms, porn, hookup culture, consent, and sexual assault.