Coming out during adolescence: Perceived parents’ reactions and internalized sexual stigma

Introduction

The coming out (CO) process is an important transition in lesbian and gay (LG) identity development (Chow and Cheng, 2010). Revealing to others promotes self-integration and personal empowerment, and is a sign of self- and social acceptance (Corrigan and Matthews, 2003); CO may be most growthful when it takes place in the context of strong social support and is met with positive family responses. Indeed, social support (Rothman et al., 2012) and family acceptance have also been shown to protect them from negative health outcomes (Rothman et al., 2012; Vaughan and Waehler, 2009).

Revealing one’s same-sex attraction to parents, however, is the one of the most dreaded steps a LG youth can take, due to the risk of disapproval and rejection (Willoughby et al., 2006). Many studies have demonstrated the relationship between negative parental reactions and elevated levels of internalized sexual stigma (ISS). Young LGs feel the need to promote or conform to cultural expectations of heteronormativity (Baiocco et al., 2012), resulting in their experiencing negative psychological, emotional, and behavioral outcomes such as depression (Legate et al., 2012), isolation, and suicidal ideation (Baiocco et al., 2014c; D’augelli and Grossman, 2001).

According to the literature, parental negative first reaction to CO can be the result of different variables, including a lack of family cohesion and adaptability (Willoughby et al., 2006), parents’ age, political orientation (Savin-Williams, 2001), level of education, religiosity (Willoughby et al., 2006), and conventional attitudes regarding sex roles (Nagoshi et al., 2008). Italy is a family-oriented society where adolescents and young adults are dependent on and involved with their families of origin, more than other European cultures (Baiocco et al., 2013a, 2014a).

Recent literature underlied (Bertone and Franchi, 2014; Broad, 2011), in fact, that reconciling parents’ religious identity with their children’s sexual orientation is addressed as crucial issues. Italy is a traditional and religious culture, and due to that Italian LG adolescents often experience high levels of rejection, internalizing negative attitudes and feelings, and representation toward themselves and homosexuality (Baiocco et al., 2010, 2014b; Lingiardi et al., 2012). In fact, unlike other catholic European Countries, such as Spain or Portugal, Italy’s legislation does not recognize same-sex marriage and does not allow same-sex adoption (Baiocco et al., 2014a). This cultural context has generated a series of negative attitudes and prejudices, especially in older adults, regarding same-sex couples, fostering a climate of rejection and denial (Baiocco et al., 2013b). As a consequence, in a traditional catholic and conservative family, characterized by a rigid functioning, integrating the CO in a “heteronormative context” appears to be a challenging and stressful task (Martin et al., 2010).

In the light of these considerations, this study aims first to identify individual factors that can affect how parents react to their child’s disclosure and the differences between mothers’ and fathers’ responses, as perceived by their daughter and sons. Then, we examine how the family system and the adolescents’ methods to face stressful situations influence the LG adolescents’ ISS levels.

Method

Results and discussion

Differences were found in parents’ reaction to the CO of their son/daughter, t(149) = 3.46, p < .01, r = .59, related to the gender of child. In line with other studies (Heatherington and Lavner, 2008; Savin-Williams and Ream, 2003), mothers’ responses, M = 83.40 (28.67), were perceived more negatively to the disclosure than fathers’, M = 75.72 (31.16). The interaction of gender of the child × the gender of the parent was significant, F(1, 150) = 9.61, p < .01, η² = .06, suggesting that adolescents/young adult lesbians reported a more negative reaction from their mother than did gay sons report regarding their reactions from their fathers. According to Pearlman (2012), maternal rejection is a consequence of their unfulfilled expectations about their daughter’s future, followed by feelings of loss of the mother–daughter bond, which they now feel more like a mother–son relationship.

Table 1 shows the correlation between the variables. High levels of parents’ religiosity and paternal right-wing conservatism predicted a more negative reaction to CO, as was found in previous studies (Baiocco et al., 2014b). In addition, poor family functioning with low levels of cohesion and adaptability correlated with both parents’ negative reactions, as has been found in other countries (Willoughby et al., 2006). Parents’ responses to CO are negatively influenced by a rigid and enmeshed family structure. These results suggest that a family which reacts adversely to CO is not able to face stressful situations and create a supportive environment where the adolescent experiences tolerance and acceptance, raises the levels of ISS and profound sense of inadequacy in youth.

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Table 1.

Correlation between variables.

Variables	Mothers’ negative reaction	Fathers’ negative reaction
Maternal religiosity	.47**	.33*
Paternal religiosity	.07	.20*
Conservative mother	.15	−.03
Conservative father	.09	.36**
Positive functioning	−.29**	−.27**
Enmeshed	.39*	.56**
Rigid	.50**	.63**
MISS score	.51**	.57**

MISS: measure of internalized sexual stigma.

*

p < .05 and **p < .01.

Our results are in line with Bertone and Franchi’s (2014) considerations, suggesting that in Italian religious families, where “homosexuality” is perceived as an “antagonist” to the Catholic Church, the path to acceptance goes through cohesion and tolerance. Supplementary Figures 1 and 2 (http://hpq.sagepub.com/supplemental) show the path analysis: for the maternal reactions sample, χ² (2, N = 150) = 2.47, p = .29, root mean square error of approximation (RMSEA) = 0.040, comparative fit index (CFI) = 0.99, normed fit index (NFI) = 0.99, non-normed fit index (NNFI) = 0.98, and adjusted goodness-of-fit index (AGFI) = 0.93; for the paternal reactions sample, χ² (2, N = 150) = 2.09, p = .35, RMSEA = 0.02, CFI = 0.99, NFI = 0.99, NNFI = 0.99, and AGFI = 0.94. Both models reveal a strong relationship between negative reaction to CO and ISS.

Path analysis on mothers shows the relationship between a higher level of religiosity, rigid family structure, and a negative family function, with the negative reaction to CO leading to ISS. Analysis on fathers showed that negative reaction to CO mediates the effect between a more rigid and enmeshed family functioning, right-wing conservatism, and ISS. In addition, low levels of cohesion and adaptability and a rigid and enmeshed family functioning have a direct impact on ISS. These results suggest that CO in an unsupportive family, disappointing paternal and maternal traditional values, means that adolescents are feeling rejected by parents. This intensifies the stigma-related stress, which creates elevated levels of internal conflicts, relational problems, negative attitudes, coping/emotion regulation, and cognitive process, compromising the proper development of the child and increasing the risk of psychopathology (Hatzenbuehler, 2009; Herek et al., 2009). ISS and perceived negative messages from a strong religious culture may create in adolescents negative attitudes toward their identity and life, eliciting suicidal ideation (Baiocco et al., 2014c).

Despite the evidence of these results, the present article suffers from limitations. First, we have investigated parental reactions to CO as perceived by their children. It would be advisable to investigate parental responses directly. Then, even if the analysis has shown a relation between the variables, it is possible that adolescents, who already experience high levels of ISS, have interpreted their parents’ reactions as more negative. Moreover, it would be interesting to explore parents’ reaction to CO in a sample of bisexual adolescents. Finally, future research should include longitudinal studies, to analyze whether the time elapsed since the CO affects parental reaction’s perception.

Conclusion

Negative parental reaction to their child’s CO results from reduced family resources that can be employed during stressful events, rigid and enmeshed family structure, and strong beliefs in traditional values. A negative parental response influences higher levels of ISS within the adolescent, resulting in negative impact upon the adolescents’ psychological and sociological health, jeopardizing their future healthy relationships with others and their self-esteem. These results have important implications in clinical and social fields, helping health professionals to create a supportive and welcoming environment for adolescents who decide to come out and their families, to mediate between parental cultural prejudices and children needs, and to finally recognize high levels of ISS in order to prevent dangerous behaviors.