Abstract
Despite a growing interest in polyamory, it is unknown how many polyamorists there are in the general population. In acknowledging that the meaning of “polyamory” is contested (e.g. Klesse, 2014), we estimated the prevalence of polyamory when it was defined as: (1) an identity, (2) relationship beliefs/preferences, (3) relationship status, and (4) relationship agreements. We recruited 972 individuals from Mechanical Turk and used a sample weighting procedure to approximate a representative sample of the population of the USA. Point prevalence estimates ranged from about 0.6% to 5%, and lifetime estimates ranged from about 2% to 23%. Thus, we estimate that there are at least 1.44 million adults in the USA who count as polyamorous.
Broadly defined, polyamory is the practice of, belief in, or willingness to engage in multiple simultaneous romantic and/or sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved. The interest in polyamory is growing, as evidenced by an increasing usage in the English corpora as well as in the scholarly literature (see Figure 1). Indeed, between 1984 and 2015 there have been at least 42 popular nonfiction books published on the topic, seven of which were published in 2014 and 2015 alone (M, 2014a). However, despite this growing interest, it is still unknown how many polyamorists there are in the general population. This is complicated by the multiplicity of definitions of polyamory (Klesse, 2006, 2011, 2014). In the present article, we aim to estimate the prevalence of polyamory according to these various definitions.
Interest in polyamory has been increasing over time, as measured by records in Google Ngram database with “polyamory” keyword (top) and records in the Web of Science database with “polyamory” or “polyamorous” keywords (bottom).
To the best of our knowledge, there are only two prevalence estimates of polyamory, and neither has been through a peer-review process of scrutiny. The first estimate, 2.3%, was calculated in 2009 using separate estimates of: (1) the prevalence of polyamory among bisexual individuals, (2) the prevalence of bisexuality among polyamorous individuals, and (3) the prevalence of bisexuality in the general population (M, 2014b). However, this estimate likely has a large margin of error because it is the product of three other estimates, two of which have large individual errors due to their small sample sizes. The second estimate, 7.1%, was obtained in 2015 by the Open Source Psychometrics Project (OSPP, 2015), a website that hosts various psychology tests that are open for anyone to participate in by visiting the website. Although their sample was large (N = 5043) and directly observed, it was also obtained from a population of individuals who take online personality tests, and therefore skewed towards the young (66% aged 13–25), atheist (47%), and non-heterosexual (14%). Given polyamory’s cultural and historical association with gay and sexual liberation (Easton and Hardy, 2009; Klesse, 2006, 2011), this estimate is likely to be an overestimate.
Given the overlap between definitions of consensual nonmonogamy and polyamory, the prevalence of consensual nonmonogamy may also be considered as an indicator of polyamory prevalence. Similar to polyamory (when defined as a practice or agreement), consensual nonmonogamy is often defined as a relationship, or relationship agreement, that permits individuals to have more than one sexual and/or romantic relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved (e.g. Conley et al., 2013). Consensual nonmonogamy is an umbrella term that includes polyamory, but also other relationship practices like swinging and open relationships (Conley et al., 2013; Matsick et al., 2014; Moors et al., 2013). However, as with polyamory prevalence estimation, there have been few attempts to estimate the prevalence of consensual nonmonogamy. Early studies estimated the prevalence of individuals who practice consensual nonmonogamy to be between 4 and 5% (Conley et al., 2012), and a more recent study, which combined Conley et al.’s (2012) dataset with Moors et al.’s (2014), estimates the prevalence to be 5.3% (Rubin et al., in press). However, in comparison to the general population, the demographics of this sample skewed towards young (Mage = 27.7), white (76%), and female (69%); and sample weighting was not used to improve sample representativeness. A second limitation is that it is unknown what proportion of the consensual nonmonogamous population is polyamorous, and any estimate of consensual nonmonogamy prevalence is at best a ceiling for the estimate of polyamory prevalence. 1
Definitions of polyamory classified by type.
Depending on which definition is used, a different prevalence estimate would be obtained. For example, a narrow definition of polyamory as someone who is currently in multiple loving relationships would count many fewer individuals than would a broader definition that is based on an individual’s openness to having multiple relationships. While we could have proceeded in the present research to use only one of these definitions, it would be difficult to choose. At this point, there is no single conventional definition that is used by members of the polyamorous community, and as such we believe that it is important to conduct research that does not elevate the status of one definition over others. Moreover, by making use of multiple definitions in our research we can gain an understanding of multiple perspectives, practices, and experiences, each of which are interesting in their own right. Thus, we believed that it would be important to examine the prevalence of polyamory, based on multiple definitions of polyamory.
In the present research, we aimed to estimate polyamory prevalence in the general population using the definitions identified earlier. In addition to this primary goal, we also performed exploratory analyses that examined how polyamory might be defined based on the perspectives and experiences of individuals who identify as polyamorous, in order to inform future research. We believe that estimating the prevalence of polyamory is a worthwhile undertaking for three reasons. First, knowing the prevalence of polyamory can inform our understanding of the diverse ways that humans form and think about romantic and sexual relationships. Second, individuals who practice consensual nonmonogamy are frequently stigmatized and misunderstood (Burleigh et al., 2017; Conley et al., 2012, 2013; Grunt-Mejer and Campbell, 2016; Hutzler et al., 2016; Matsick et al., 2014; Moors et al., 2013), and face discrimination in many situations, including employment and housing (Emens, 2004; Fleckenstein et al., 2012; Lesher, 2013; Nearing, 2000). Estimating the size of the polyamory population tells us how many individuals in the general population might benefit from public policy and research agendas that address these issues. If this population is relatively large, then the estimate could be used to strengthen the argument that such policies and agendas are valuable by demonstrating that a substantial portion of the population might benefit from them. Although we believe that all minorities are deserving of rights and freedoms regardless of their size, we appreciate the practical significance of this line of argument. Third, this estimate can be used to help service providers to plan for services to polyamorous individuals by letting them know how many individuals might use their services (e.g. sexual health counseling tailored to polyamorists).
Method
Participants
A total of 972 participants were recruited from Amazon’s Mechanical Turk (MTurk) during the summer of 2013 for a survey that was advertised as being about “the different styles of relationships that people have.” As eligibility criteria, participants were required to be residents of the USA (based on having provided valid taxpayer identification to Amazon), and have had a task approval rate of at least 90% for previous MTurk tasks (this was used to ensure high-quality data; see Peer et al., 2014). We also sought to minimize time-based sample variation by splitting the total data collection into 10 smaller batches and deploying these at different times of day and days of the week (see Casey et al., 2017). 2 The survey, described in the materials section, took about 10 minutes to complete, and participants were paid US$0.75.
Our decision to use MTurk as a source of data was motivated by several considerations. First, the MTurk population is demographically diverse, and while it is not representative of the general US population, MTurk samples can be weighted to approximate a representative sample. Previous research has found that MTurk samples are more diverse than other convenience samples like those obtained from student or community populations (Berinsky et al., 2012; Buhrmester et al., 2011; Chandler and Shapiro, 2016; Paolacci et al., 2010). Although MTurk samples are not demographically representative of the general population, the discrepancy is comparable to samples obtained from professional internet panels like those obtained by the companies SurveyMonkey and Qualtrics (Heen et al., 2014), and researchers have had success with using poststratification weighting to enhance representativeness (Levay et al., 2016; Simons and Chabris, 2012). Second, MTurk is cost-effective. According to Mullinix et al. (2015), it can cost more than $15,000 to conduct even a brief survey with a population-based sample, while a comparable sample can be recruited from MTurk for only $500. Finally, MTurk affords anonymity to participants (or at least a sense of anonymity, as participants are technically pseudonymous), and is therefore appropriate for collecting information from individuals who represent stigmatized and concealable identities (Smith et al., 2015)—as is the case with polyamory.
Materials
The survey asked participants demographic questions (age, sex, ethnicity, household income, education, sexual orientation, and feminist identity) and questions about their relationships. The relationship questions included: (1) relationship status, (2) consensual nonmonogamy identity (e.g. polyamorous), (3) the nature of their relationship agreement(s), and (4) their beliefs about relationships. In order to facilitate both point and lifetime prevalence estimation, participants were asked the relationship questions with respect to both past and present circumstances. Finally, participants were also asked about their knowledge of the term “polyamory.” Survey branch logic was used to dynamically present relevant questions to participants. For example, only participants who indicated that they were in a relationship were then asked to indicate the characteristics of that relationship. Thus, not all participants answered all questions. See Appendix A for the survey questions and branch logic. To assess the prevalence of polyamory according to the four definitions identified earlier, we examined responses as follows:
Sample weighting
Our analyses were performed using SPSS 22 (IBM Corp, 2013). We used the SPSS rake extension to weight our sample to the 2012 US Census, using age, ethnicity, sex, income, and education as weighting variables. SPSS rake implements a form of poststratification weighting called random iterative method (or iterative proportional fitting; as described in Grover and Vriens, 2006) that assigns weights to individual cases in order to enhance the representativeness of the sample. Higher weights are given to individuals in the sample who are underrepresented relative to the general population, and lower weights are given to individuals who are overrepresented. For example, if the population distribution of sex was known to be 50% female and 50% male, and the sample was 30% female and 70% male, then each female in the sample would be given a weight of 1.67 (50/30), and each male would be given a weight of 0.71 (50/70). When multiple weighting variables are used, the method adjusts the sample to the population on all variables simultaneously. By adjusting the sample to match the general population, more valid inferences can be made about characteristics of the general population (Levay et al., 2016; Simons and Chabris, 2012).
Results
Demographics
Demographics in MTurk sample vs. 2012 US Census.
The MTurk age range was 18 to 19, while the Census range was 15 to 19.
Prevalence of polyamory
First, we examined the prevalence of polyamory when defined as an identity. We found that 0.59% of participants in the weighted sample currently identified as polyamorous or polyamorist, and 1.79% identified as polyamorous or polyamorist at some point in their life. By comparison, 2.35% currently identified as swingers, 2.50% as nonmonogamist, and 5.09% as any one of the nonmonogamous options; lifetime prevalence was 4.76% for swinger, 8.81% for nonmonogamist, and 12.85% for any one of the nonmonogamous options. 4
Point and lifetime prevalence of polyamory when defined as relationship beliefs. Responses to the questions stating: “I currently believe that it is (in the past I believed that it was) ________ for me personally (a partner of mine/people in general) to have more than one romantically intimate relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved” (bracketed portions indicate separate questions).
Note: Figures in brackets are the weighted estimates of percentage in population.
Point and lifetime prevalence of polyamory when defined as a type of relationship agreement. In the first column, each cell indicates the percentage of participants in the total sample who have a nonmonogamous agreement with a partner and who would use this adjective to describe their relationship with this partner. This column therefore approximates the prevalence of each type of consensually nonmonogamous relationship in the general population. The second column describes the breakdown of just those participants who have a nonmonogamous agreement with a partner, such that each cell gives the percentage of these participants who would use this adjective to describe their relationship with this partner. This column therefore helps us to understand what these consensually nonmonogamous relationships look like.
Note: Figures in brackets are the weighted estimates of percentage in population.
A second line of questions whereby we asked participants to assess polyamorous relationship agreements, was whether they were in a relationship in which they and their partner had explicitly agreed that it was possible, acceptable, and/or desirable to engage in several consensually nonmonogamous behaviors. Recall that polyamory is sometimes defined as loving multiple persons. The behaviors that we asked about were whether they: (1) have more than one consensual romantic relationship at a time, (2) have more than one consensual sexual relationship at a time, and/or (3) consensually experience romantic love for more than one person at the same time. A broad definition of polyamory would be where partners agree that at least one of these three consensually nonmonogamous behaviors is possible and acceptable. Along these lines, we found that about 1.5% (range: 1.5% to 1.61%) of participants currently had an agreement where at least one of the behaviors was possible and acceptable. For lifetime prevalence, about 8% had agreed that multiple consensual sexual or romantic relationships were possible and acceptable; whereas only 2.8% had agreed with their partner that it was possible and acceptable to experience romantic love for more than one person at a time. A narrower definition of polyamory would be the agreement that it is possible, acceptable, and also desirable, to engage in one of the three consensually nonmonogamous behaviors. Here we observed similar point estimates: about 1.35% (range: 1.2% to 1.44%) currently had an agreement where at least one of the behaviors was possible, acceptable, and desirable. For lifetime prevalence, 3.5% had at some point agreed with a partner that multiple consensual sexual or romantic relationships were possible, acceptable, and desirable, whereas only 1.84% had at some point agreed with a partner that it was possible, acceptable, and desirable to experience romantic love for more than one person at a time. For a summary that includes unweighted estimates, see Table 4b.
Point and lifetime prevalence of polyamory when defined as a type of relationship agreement. “I am currently in a relationship (In the past, I have been in a relationship) where my partner and I explicitly agree(d) that it (is/was) ________ to have more than one romantically intimate relationship at a time (to have more than one sexual relationship at a time/to experience romantic love for more than one person at the same time), with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved” (bracketed portions indicate separate questions).
Note: Figures in brackets are the weighted estimates of percentage in population.
Point and lifetime prevalence of polyamory when defined as a relationship status. The first two columns represent the percentage of participants in the total sample who are in multiple consensual sexual and/or romantic relationships who would describe any or more than one of their relationships using the descriptor indicated. This column therefore approximates the prevalence of each type of consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationship in the general population. The third and fourth columns represent just those participants who are in multiple consensual sexual and/or romantic relationships who would use this adjective to describe any or more than one of their relationships using the descriptor indicated. These columns help us to understand what these consensually nonmonogamous relationships look like. (CNM = consensually nonmonogamous).
Note: Figures in brackets are the weighted estimates of percentage in population.
Participants’ understanding of what “polyamory” means
Importantly, our estimate of the prevalence of polyamorous-identified individuals must be qualified by participants’ understanding of what “polyamory” means, because it is likely that more individuals who meet other definitions of polyamory would identify as polyamorous if they understood what it meant. To assess participants’ understanding of polyamory, we coded the responses to the open-ended question that asked participants to define polyamory. Responses were coded as having a basic understanding of polyamory if they mentioned multiple partners (romantic or sexual) or mentioned being in love with multiple individuals, and if they did not imply that it necessarily involved marriage. For example, one representative response was: “Polyamory is being in love with two or more people at the same time, and being in simultaneous relationships with two or more people at the same time.” We also coded responses as having a comprehensive understanding of polyamory if they also mentioned consent in their response. For example, one respondent said polyamory was “A non-monogamous relationship or desire to have one such relationship including multiple romantic partners at the same time, with all partners being aware of the situation.”
We chose to code accuracy of the definitions using the foregoing requirements based on our observations of how polyamory has been defined in past research and popular literature (see Table 1). Having multiple partners or lovers is clearly central to the common understanding of polyamory. In addition, as can be seen by the table, most works emphasize that polyamory refers to consensual nonmonogamy rather than surreptitious behavior. This focus on consent and honesty is typically seen as a key principle of polyamory (e.g. Emens, 2004). Although there are some debates regarding how polyamory should be defined, whether or not it involves non-consensual nonmonagamy (i.e. cheating) is not one of them (Emens, 2004; Klesse, 2006, 2014).
Although some of the participants who gave a correct basic definition of polyamory likely knew that this arrangement requires consent but excluded this information for the sake of brevity, including a more restrictive comprehensive category gives us a more conservative estimation of the number of people who are familiar with the definition of polyamory. Interrater agreement was acceptable (Cohen, 1960) for both coding variables (basic understanding κ = .996; comprehensive understanding κ = .991). We found that 38.6% of participants (51.7% unweighted) reported a basic understanding of polyamory, and 14.7% (13.6% unweighted) reported a comprehensive understanding of polyamory.
What does polyamory mean to polyamorists?
Although our sample of self-identified polyamorists was small (N = 16), we believed that it would be worth examining what polyamory meant to these individuals. Thus, we performed two exploratory analyses on the unweighted sample to provide preliminary data relevant to this question.
First, we examined responses to a question that asked polyamorous-identified participants what polyamory meant to them (“to me, polyamory is”). The response options were: (1) “innate (i.e. some people are born polyamorous),” (2) “a system of beliefs,” (3) “a practice or lifestyle (i.e. something that you do),” (4) “something you feel,” and (5) “none of the above”; and participants could select multiple options. We found that 94% of polyamorists stated that polyamory was a practice or lifestyle, 63% stated that it was a system of beliefs, 50% stated that it was something one feels, 44% stated that it was innate, and 6% stated that it was none of these options.
Next, we examined to what extent the non-identity based aspects of polyamory could predict polyamorous self-identification. We performed a hierarchical logistic regression in which the dependent variable was identification as “polyamorous” or “polyamorist” vs. neither (coded as 0 or 1). We began by entering the broadest criteria that could be used to define polyamory, and then at each successive step we added progressively more restrictive criteria. To reduce potential multicollinearity and to limit the number of predictors in the model, some of the definitional factors were combined into ordinal variables and others were excluded. Specifically, we entered: (1) beliefs about what is possible and acceptable for people in general (general beliefs), (2) beliefs about what is acceptable for oneself and one’s partner (personal beliefs), (3) the presence or absence of a consensually nonmonogamous agreement (CNM agreement), (4) the status of being in multiple consensually nonmonogamous relationships (multiple relationships), (5) whether participants loved one of their partners (one love), (6) whether participants had an agreement with their partner where it was possible, acceptable, and/or desirable to love more than one person at a time (multiple love agreement), and (7) whether participants loved more than one of their partners (multiple love). Thus, this regression allowed us to determine at what steps using an increasingly restrictive definition of polyamory better predicted identification as polyamorous/a polyamorist.
Correlations between variables in model predicting polyamorous identification. (CNM = consensually nonmonogamous).
Note: ** = p < .01 (2-tailed).
Summary of stepwise logistic regression model predicting polyamorous identification.
CNM = consensually nonmonogamous.
Discussion
Prevalence
In the present study, we sought to estimate polyamory prevalence when polyamory was defined in several different ways. Specifically, when polyamory was defined as: (1) an identity, (2) relationship beliefs/preferences, (3) relationship status, and (4) relationship agreements. We found that the point and lifetime prevalence estimates varied based on how broadly or narrowly polyamory was defined. The point estimates ranged from about 0.6% to about 5%, while the lifetime estimates ranged from about 2% to 23%. The lowest point estimates were observed when polyamory was defined as an identity, while the highest point estimates were observed when polyamory was defined as relationships with a consensual nonmonogamy agreement which could be described as either sexual, romantic, intimate, loving, or long-term (each of which obtained similar estimates). Similarly, the lowest lifetime estimates were observed when polyamory was defined as an identity, while the highest lifetime estimate was observed when polyamory was defined as relationships with a consensual nonmonogamy agreement which participants described as sexual. Finally, intermediate prevalence estimates were observed when polyamory was defined as a relationship that permitted (or permitted and encouraged) different kinds of consensually nonmonogamous behaviors (sexual relationships, romantic relationships, or consensually loving multiple people), and when polyamory was defined as relationship beliefs. Thus, the question of how polyamory is defined is an important consideration for the task of prevalence estimation. Given both these findings and the contested nature of the term “polyamory” (e.g. Klesse, 2006), we suggest that researchers should avoid elevating the status of any one definition of polyamory, and instead describe the prevalence of polyamory using multiple definitions or ranges.
Importantly, our data on the prevalence of polyamory as an identity must be qualified by participants’ understanding of “polyamory” as a concept. We found that only about 39% of individuals had a basic understanding of polyamory (as involving multiple partners or loving multiple individuals), and only about 15% reported a comprehensive definition (as also involving consent). Insofar as the polyamorous-identified population tracks understanding of polyamory as a concept, this suggests that this population is likely to grow over time with increasing awareness.
As awareness grows, and social attitudes change, researchers should again estimate the prevalence of polyamory. Our estimates were derived from a convenience sample collected on the MTurk platform—a decision that was motivated by practical limitations like cost. We nonetheless believe the sample to have provided more robust estimates than those obtained in previous efforts. We made every effort to control sampling bias (as with our efforts to minimize time-based variation and our use of sample weighting), however, despite these efforts, our sample could still have had unknown biases. For these reasons, future estimates should be derived from a probability sample.
Defining polyamory
Beyond the task of identifying polyamory prevalence, our data also contribute to an ongoing debate about the nature of polyamory—that is, whether polyamory is “something you do” or “something you are” (Barker, 2005; Savage, 2012), with the latter case typically being seen as comparable to “sexual orientation.” Such a distinction is believed to have several practical implications. Defining polyamory as “something you are” may help to achieve social acceptance, legal protections, custody rights, marriage equality, and other improvements in the treatment of polyamorists in society (Aviram and Leachman, 2015; Emens, 2004; Klesse, 2014, 2016; Tweedy, 2011). For example, Tweedy (2011) argued that members of a group are more likely to succeed with anti-discrimination claims if they can make the case that their situation is analogous to that of an oppressed racial group, which involves emphasizing how the group membership or identity is a core aspect of who they are (e.g. an immutable trait).
However, there are practical disadvantages to reducing polyamory to an immutable trait or absorbing it into the umbrella of “sexual orientation” (Aviram and Leachman, 2015; Emens, 2004; Klesse, 2014, 2016). Limiting the definition of polyamory in this way could fragment the social movements that polyamorists engage in, threaten the status of gender and sexual minorities, and undermine the more radical and transformative ideologies that polyamory is associated with. For example, Klesse (2014, 2016) argues that if polyamorists advocate for their rights using a restricted definition of polyamory, then any protections gained this way would apply only to a small minority of individuals, and those who fall outside of this definition may be pressured to conform in order to protect the image of polyamory. Alliances that exist between polyamorists, other consensual nonmonogamists, and individuals who have non-traditional families in other ways (e.g. single-headed families) would be lost. Essentially, polyamorists would be more likely to abandon their broader critique of relationship norms in favor of advocating for rights and protections for a select few.
Regardless of its practical implications, our results suggest that, for many polyamorists, polyamory can be seen not only as something that someone “does” (e.g. form multiple relationships), but as something a person “is,” similar to a sexual identity (a potentially innate preference) or a religious identity (a deeply held set of beliefs). Specifically, we found that of individuals who identified as polyamorous or a polyamorist (N = 16), 63% stated the opinion that polyamory was a set of beliefs, and 44% stated that polyamory was innate. Indeed, in our regression, relationship status did not predict polyamorous identity over and above beliefs. We would again argue for the advantages of a multiplicity of definitions, and for honoring the ways that polyamorous individuals define their own experiences of polyamory.
Conclusion
Based on the most conservative polyamory prevalence estimate of 0.6% (those who explicitly identified as polyamorous or a polyamorist), and given that the size of the US adult (18+) population was estimated to be 240 million (US Census Bureau, 2012), it follows that there are at least 1.44 million adults in the US population who could be classified as polyamorous. As a point of comparison, Gates (2011) estimated that there were about 4 million individuals (1.7%) who identified as bisexual, 4 million (1.8%) who identified as lesbian or gay, and 700,000 (0.3%) who identified as transgender; Bogaert (2004) estimated that 1.04% of the population meets the criteria for asexuality. Therefore, by our most conservative estimate, there are at least twice as many polyamorists as transgender individuals, and by our most inclusive estimates, there are many more polyamorists than gay or lesbian individuals. Thus, polyamorous individuals represent a substantial portion of the population.
Supplemental Material
Supplemental material for Counting polyamorists who count: Prevalence and definitions of an under-researched form of consensual nonmonogamy
Supplemental Material for Counting polyamorists who count: Prevalence and definitions of an under-researched form of consensual nonmonogamy by Alicia N Rubel and Tyler J Burleigh in Sexualities
Footnotes
Acknowledgements
We would like to thank Danielle Molnar for generously giving her time to instruct us on the use of rake weights.
Funding
Statement of research ethics
This research was approved by the Research Ethics Board at Brock University (File #12-252).
Notes
), a life-sciences technology company, to develop new tools and methods for mobile health research. Tyler is interested in social cognition and internet/mobile research methods.
