‘The English language enables me to visit my pain’. Exploring experiences of using a later-learned language in the healing journey of survivors of sexuality persecution

Some definitions and basic concepts

We adopt Pavlenko’s (2005) view that multilinguals are people who use an LX outside of the learning context, and whose LX proficiency may range from minimal to maximal. Multilinguals’ proficiency levels in their various languages may also vary across discourse domains. In other words, they may be more fluent in specific languages for certain discourse domains (Grosjean, 2012). Moreover, we do not view multilingualism as a state but rather as an ongoing, dynamic process (de Bot, 2017). Multilinguals’ languages have different levels of emotional resonance and switches from one language to another can lead to feelings of difference as language is often a marker of identity (Dewaele, 2013, 2016a; Panicacci & Dewaele, 2017; Pavlenko, 2005, 2012).

Feltham (2012) describes psychotherapy and counselling as ‘mainly, though not exclusively, listening-and-talking-based methods of addressing psychological and psychosomatic problems and change, including deep and prolonged human suffering, situational dilemmas, crises and developmental needs, and aspirations towards the realization of human potential’ (p. 3). The aim of psychotherapy is to help people move on from trauma and achieve positive therapeutic change. Psychotherapy can take place in therapeutic communities defined as ‘structured psychologically informed planned environments (. . .) where the social relationships, structure of the day and different activities are all deliberately designed to help people’s health and well-being’ (What is a TC?, 2021).

Asylum seeker refers to an immigrant who has fled his or her home country due to persecution and is seeking refuge and safety, without the granting of legal status and public benefits. Thus, an asylum seeker is someone who has applied for refugee status in his or her host country and is awaiting a decision on his or her application from the Home Office of that country. Whereas, the term ‘refugee’ is defined by the United Nations Convention (UN, 1951) as somebody who has been granted refugee status in his or her host country, whereas an asylum seeker is someone who has applied for refugee status and is awaiting a decision on his or her application from the Home Office (in the UK). Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBTI) individuals persecuted on the grounds of sexuality can claim asylum as a sexual minority through membership of a ‘particular social group’ in the 1951 UN Convention (Schuman & Hesford, 2014, p. 17).

In many countries a person is still not free to love who they wish. Male homosexuality is illegal in around 86 countries, and for women in around 46. Punishment varies from fines to life imprisonment, flogging and the death penalty, which remains in force in seven countries for men and four for women (Amnesty International, 2008). Among survivors of persecution for LGBTI status, findings show that people experience higher incidence of verbal, sexual and physical abuse by parents and care-givers at home, peers and personnel at school, and in the wider community in their home countries (UNHCHR, 2011). Moreover, while the majority of non-LGBTI asylum seeker populations have the support of immediate family, friends or other members of their persecuted group, LGBTI asylum seekers are often alienated and isolated from the support of others (Hopkinson et al., 2016). In short, LGBTI asylum seekers experience an accumulation of trauma, ‘characterized by multiple events in multiple areas of life, over time, which continue even after attempting escape to a new country’ (p. 5).

Room to Heal: a therapeutic community, supporting survivors of torture

Room to Heal, the micro-context of this study, is a non-residential therapeutic community which supports refugees who have survived torture and other human rights violations. It is based in London, one of the most inclusive, diverse cities in the world (Perfect, 2014). The primary function of Room to Heal is to provide a mental health service. The organisation follows several principles found in the therapeutic community model of treatment (see Kennard, 1998). For example, respect for the human rights and dignity of its members; a flattened hierarchy between staff; and open, non-hierarchical communication between staff and members.

An essential principle behind the therapeutic community model is that everything within the environment (community) can contribute to the healing process, from the staff to the buildings, down to the choice of cutlery (Gale & Sanchez, 2005). Members at Room to Heal interact in small closed groups, in open large groups and in community forums, and are given opportunities to meet each other in different settings. The learning experiences and encounters in therapeutic communities aim to promote behavioural change. Thus, therapeutic communities can be considered as both therapeutic and educational settings (Soyez & Broekaert, 2005). In belonging to Room to Heal, the survivors can restore meaningful relationships with themselves and others, and overcome the legacy of their traumatic experiences (Room to Heal, 2019). The community work is complemented by trauma therapy (both individual and group therapy), creative activities (e.g. gardening and yoga) and casework support (e.g. support in accessing legal aid and the housing services). All therapy sessions, both individual and group, are held in English.

Emotions in multiple languages

According to psychological constructionist theory, it is through the naming of emotions and emotional concepts that emotions can be perceived, predicted and experienced (Barrett et al., 2007). In affective linguistic conditioning words and phrases acquire affective connotations and personal meanings through association and integration with emotionally charged memories and experiences (Barrett, 2009). Both the process of conceptual development and affective linguistic conditioning contribute to language embodiment, in which words trigger both sensory images and physiological reactions. Findings from cognitive psychologists and multilingualism researchers using a wide range of epistemological and methodological approaches suggest that the L1 of multilinguals is typically felt as more emotional, authentic and potent compared to LXs and that physiological reaction to emotion words is stronger in the L1 (Dewaele, 2013; Dewaele et al., 2021; Caldwell-Harris, 2015; Pavlenko, 2005, 2012).

Pavlenko (2012, p. 409) defined affective processing as the ‘somatovisceral responses triggered by automatic appraisal of verbal stimuli, which may or may not register as subjective feelings at the level of higher cognition’. Thus, it is a ‘subjective process driven by individuals’ needs, goals, and linguistic and cultural categories – shared by appraisal and psychological constructionist theories, albeit at different levels of categorization – [that] allows us to understand variation in experienced language emotionality’ (p. 409). Pavlenko (2005) suggests that essential modulators of emotional experience in each language used by multilinguals are their linguistic, affective and socialisation histories.

Pavlenko (2012) pursued this avenue of research and argues that the L1 feels more embodied than the LX because it is acquired in the period of intense affective socialisation of early childhood. It is a process which involves the integration of ‘phonological forms of words and phrases with information from visual auditory, olfactory, tactile, kinaesthetic, and visceral modalities, autobiographical memories and affect’ (p. 421). From this perspective, multilinguals’ early languages develop together with autobiographical memory and emotion regulation systems. In contrast, LXs are acquired later in life, typically in classrooms, and LX words and expressions acquired in these settings lack the rich multimodal integration and feel more detached as a result. Variation in emotional resonance of the LX has been linked to age of onset/acquisition; language dominance; context of acquisition; frequency of use; size of networks; and language socialisation (Dewaele, 2013).

In practice, multilingual people may switch languages (often unconsciously) to distance themselves from heavily charged emotions or, inversely, to deepen emotions (Bond & Lai, 1986; Marcos, 1976). Hence, the LX has the potential to facilitate disclosure when dealing with heavily charged emotional material in the L1 (Byford, 2015). The detached LX can therefore prove to be a liberating tool for some individuals. Evidence of the ‘emancipatory detachment’ that an LX can offer can be found in the translingual memoirs of multilingual writers (Pavlenko, 2005). For such writers, their LX is beneficial in offering ‘new, “clean” words, devoid of anxieties and taboos, freeing them from self-censorship, from prohibitions and loyalties of their native culture’ (Pavlenko, 2006, p. 20). Some multilinguals may even abandon their L1 because it limits the expression of prohibited or relinquished parts of the self (Espín, 1999, 2006). Similarly, the experience of extreme trauma can lead to outright language rejection. Schmid (2020) found that German Jews who had left Germany when the persecution of the Jews had already reached a peak were more likely to have stopped using German than those who had left the country earlier.

LX and sexuality

Examples of the liberating effect of an LX come from the field of gender studies and immigration. In crossing borders, the person also crosses emotional and behavioural boundaries (Espín, 2013), which offers women the opportunity to transcend established gender norms and create new identities. Espín (1999) found that most of the immigrant women she interviewed preferred their LX when talking about their sexuality. In contrast, in sexual interactions many of the respondents reported that they preferred their L1, finding that the detachment effect of LX English made it impossible to ‘make love in English’ (Espín, 2013, p. 210). Her bilingual lesbian clients preferred to talk about their sexuality in the LX, even if most of the sessions were carried out in the L1. The author asks to what extent it is related to the distancing effect of the LX, or the characteristics of English as a language, and, finally, how far it is linked to the new cultural context, which offers a place to express one’s sexuality more freely. Although she finds no clear-cut answers, she concludes that the access to more than one language allows a person to go beyond the boundaries of ‘what is sayable and tellable’ (2013, p. 211). Similar patterns emerged in King’s (2008) study of three Korean gay men. These men could not construct a gay identity in Korea and so learned English and moved to an English-speaking country to be free to be themselves. This sense of liberation is also to be found in the use of the LX. Dewaele (2016b) argues that swearing or using taboo words in the LX illustrates ‘the new-found freedom to express oneself without violating L1 norms’ and thereby offers LX users potential ‘emotional selves which they can deploy according to their needs’ (p. 475).

Sociocultural and psychosocial effects of multilingualism

Multilingualism has deep psychosocial effects which could be relevant to the therapeutic experience. For example, a majority of multilingual people report feeling like they are a different person when they switch languages (Dewaele, 2016a). Koven’s (1998) seminal study showed that complex sociolinguistic repertoires allow speakers ‘to perform different kinds of “selves” in each language’ (p. 411), drawing on an array of registers and codes. Similarly, Benet-Martinez et al. (2002) state that multilinguals gain access to multiple cultural meanings and can switch between different culturally appropriate behaviours accordingly. So, not only does performance change depending on the language used but it is often linked to a different sense of self (Dewaele, 2016a; Panicacci & Dewaele 2017; Kramsch, 2009; Pavlenko, 2005, 2006). The use of an LX can strengthen the sense of agency, allowing a person to become somebody else when they speak and use another language (Kramsch, 2009). In some ways, Kramsch adds, it creates a possibility of an escape route from the L1 self – and/or the option to explore the self from a different perspective. The self, within a new language, is almost forced into constantly being engaged in reflection on the self. Therefore, an ability to sustain self-reflexivity may become heightened in the multilingual individual (Burck, 2011).

A pivotal moment in this changing sense of self comes when the LX is internalised as thought and inner speech. Emotional inner speech in the LX emerges later than general inner speech in the LX (Dewaele, 2015).

Language and therapy

Therapeutic interventions, strategies and concepts are always applied within a specific social, organisational and cultural context (McLeod, 2014). It is therefore crucial for the therapist to construct a contextualised and detailed picture of the clients’ experiences, and one would imagine, in the case of the multilingual client, this would involve the therapist having knowledge and understanding of what it means to live across languages and cultures (Muran, 2006). The aim of clinical and trauma work is to help people move on from trauma and achieve positive therapeutic change, including expanding conscious awareness in clients with respect to the details of their experience. Research shows that reflecting on a multilingual’s relationship with their languages and the significance of these relationships for their life is an important and productive area for therapy. Inviting a self-reflexive stance to language and its effects can open up a range of resources for the therapist and client (Burck, 2004).

Access to participants and ethics

Access negotiations were long and difficult. Room to Heal’s policy is to protect their members from anything which could prove potentially harmful, disruptive or inconvenient to their lives within the community. The study purpose was explained together with the possible benefits for the participants and ethical issues, such as the protection of participants’ identities.

After formal access was obtained, informal access with the members of Room to Heal was negotiated. The first author was the cook for the community on a Tuesday. Therefore, after a designated Tuesday lunch, an information sheet was handed out to the members who were present, and a short introduction about the intended research and what participating in it would involve was given.

Ethical approval was obtained from the authors’ research institution, and the researchers complied with Room to Heal’s Vulnerable Adults at Risk policy. Members were able to give their own consent to participating in this research.

Before the interview, participants were given the opportunity to ask questions and were asked to read and sign a consent form. On the consent form it was stated that the participants had the right to withdraw before or during the interview. Emphasis was given to the fact that they did not have to give a reason for their choice and that there would be no negative consequences. After the interview, participants were asked if there was any content in the interview about which they felt uncomfortable. No concerns were raised by participants.

They were made aware that any data collected would be kept confidential, no demographic information would be taken off-site, audio recordings would be password protected, potentially identifying information would be removed from subsequent transcriptions and research supervisors would have access to anonymised transcripts. All data were anonymised, and pseudonyms were chosen by the researcher for use in the interview transcripts and analyses.

Data collection

Data were gathered through semi-structured interviews, which is usual in IPA studies (Smith et al., 1999). They were prepared carefully, taking into consideration the issues of ethics and power (Rolland, Dewaele & Costa, 2019). Topics covered participants’ psycholinguistic histories, their thoughts, feelings and experiences about their multilingualism, and their experience of the community and using an LX within the individual and group therapy sessions there. Crucially, the interviews did not deal with the trauma. The interviews were carried out in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere in 2018. The interviewees spoke openly and with consideration as to what they wanted to say. Many participants, following the interview, mentioned how it had encouraged them to reflect on their multilingualism – a previously unknown and unthought-of topic for the majority.

Data analysis

Initially, the transcripts were read and re-read to obtain a holistic view of the participant’s account. During this process the first researcher made notes related to what seemed interesting or significant in the text. The transcripts were then examined further and conceptual themes created that were thought to capture the essence of the participant’s account. Then, both convergences and divergences were recognised across the data and a list of superordinate and subordinate themes produced (Smith et al., 1999).

Participants

Three participants out of a larger group of 15 were selected, on the basis that they had been the victim of sexuality persecution (Cook, 2019). Brontes, Dian and Gabriel were fluent in English and had a university education or were studying at university at the time of the data collection. All three had been part of Room to Heal for several years. Brontes founded an LGBTI organisation fighting for the human rights of LGBTI people around the world.

Bringing suffering into words

This first subordinate theme is directly linked to the therapeutic process and alliance and shows how the detachment effect of the LX can enable the person to talk about traumatic experiences. Brontes’ torture occurred in Luganda and Swahili. He prefers not to talk about his torture in these languages as it reawakens the horror far too vividly for him. The distancing effect of ELX enables him to speak out and to explore areas he would have hidden:

. . .expressing myself in English about the things which happened to me which are horrible – I think I cut out – that there is not much emotion towards it if I am speaking in English but if I was speaking in Luganda there would be a lot of emotional attachment toward it. . . [In English] you don’t feel it. . .

Brontes was empowered by the distancing effect of the ELX to express and examine his difficult life experience:

It doesn’t hit you. It’s like telling a story which didn’t exist but if I say it in Luganda. . .

Brontes emphasised the importance of speaking out and that the very act of doing so was cathartic in ELX:

Likewise, Dian described how she felt more able to regulate her emotions in ELX and not become overwhelmed by them. ELX allows her to speak out about her difficulties and trauma and confront her pain. She reported:

The English language is my place of safety, it is that sense of safety which enables me to visit my pain [in the LX]. I know how to go to a safety place – so actually by speaking English and feeling a sense of safety I am able to face my pain. . .

Kinder inner speech in the LX

Gabriel used the ELX to overcome the restraints and inhibitions of the culture in which he grew up, embodied in the harsh, L1 inner speech. Indeed, his L1 is anthropomorphised and watching disapprovingly over his shoulder:

I feel like the language is a person watching me – if I use my mother tongue – so it’s going to judge me, it’s going to talk to me, telling me. . .I’m a bit nervous about using in my L1 – I see my mother tongue as a person that scares me and judges me – [on the other hand] I feel really comfortable using English.

Gabriel’s inner speech in the ELX allows him to be kind and comforting with himself.