Abstract
Walk with Me: Musings Through the Dementia Fog (2021) offers a refreshing take on dementia; a one-of-a-kind read. Written by Deb Bunt about her friend Peter Berry, the book is a tribute to their friendship and a dedication to Peter’s poetry. Without having given the different clinical facets of dementia or its varied symptoms which can be debilitating for someone living with dementia, this book manages to give an idea of what dementia is or rather what it is like to live with dementia through Peter’s lived experiences. While Peter Berry gives us his musings through the dementia fog, which is raw and rare to witness in the guise of poetry; Deb Bunt shares her conversations with Peter and touches briefly upon three main areas of their relationship: friendship, trust, and learning. The exquisite photographs of Suffolk by Daniel Ruffles add to the narrative making the reader more sensitive. The poems, conversations and pictures give the readers an insider access to Peter’s life and his encounters with Dementia. All things considered; this book is a short read with insights for people living with or caring for; and supporting a person with dementia.
An interesting aspect of this book is that it elucidates how a life situation could be entirely different for people living with Dementia. For example, the book throws light on how the COVID pandemic has affected people like Peter. The pandemic was a huge crisis that touched us all but for Peter, it was a period of bafflement as he had to learn new rules and be prepared for the frequency with which they seemed to change. The uncertainty around these changes made life not just anxious but harder because he had to re-learn and remember people whom he had not seen during the pandemic. The inclusion of such scenarios in this book is intentional as it provides a sense of community and support to someone who has lived through the pandemic with dementia. In other words, Walk with Me: Musings Through the Dementia Fog is intended not just for anyone but for everyone.
The book is divided into two halves. The first half of the book is further divided into 3 chapters followed by two colour pictures of Peter – one where he arrives in style riding his penny farthing for a talk at Saxmundham library and the other where he makes a point during his talk there. The idea that is worth appreciation here is that they have incorporated pictures of a man who is living with Dementia in their book so that people get to see him and feel connected with him, which makes the narrative even more real to read. The first chapter titled ‘Friendship’ is about Deb’s account with Peter where she takes the readers to the thoughts that are intriguing her. For example, there is a moment in this chapter where she ponders how different the concept of friendship is for Peter: “Friendships can be exposing and yet this exposure is just one way. So, whilst I know many of Peter’s stories and adventures and can probably complete many of the anecdotes for him, such is the capacity of my memory, each time Peter and I meet, it’s as if I am a shadowy stranger, full of potential intrigue and mystery. And yet I am also so familiar to him. I can’t imagine what that must be like and the thought makes me slightly uncomfortable, as it has only now dawned on me that this is the case” (Deb, 2021, p. 5). The second chapter titled ‘Trust’ is an answer to the first chapter and Peter’s realization to let go “so as to focus on what he can manage, and not to struggle with what he cannot” (Deb, 2021, p. 9). The final chapter is titled ‘Learning,’ encapsulating Deb’s discussion on the expansion of understanding and awareness derived from the inadvertent oversights that take place when you are with someone with Dementia. It also addresses how crucial it is to use the right choice of words or find positive alternatives when discussing dementia, as it can have an impact on how people living with dementia view themselves.
The second half of the book is solely dedicated to Peter’s poetry and is divided into 3-time frames starting from September 2019 to July 2021; written during the time of COVID. This section dives deep into Peter’s inner thoughts and themes which are often scary but immediately reassured with a genuine gleaming hope; one that gives purpose to him and anyone living with dementia. With this book, Peter, who had not written poetry before, proves that poetry, if being used as a creative outlet to convey one’s feelings and thoughts, might be considered generative. While there exist many narratives on dementia, Walk with Me: Musings Through the Dementia Fog is an ideal read as it also challenges the notion that people with dementia are ‘lost’ or ‘incapable of meaningful engagement’ by showing that these individuals can participate in creative pursuits like poetry.
