Parenting Practices and Gender Roles in the Modern Chinese Family: Interculturalism in Where Are We Going,Dad?

Parenting Reality TV: A New Site to Rethink the Modern Chinese Family

Due to the increasing availability and accessibility of Chinese reality TV programs in recent years, English-language literature on Chinese reality TV is growing. Scholars have focused on, among other subjects, the issue of imported television formats (de Burgh et al. 2012; Keane 2015; Yang 2014), audience reception and fandom (Huang 2014; Wu 2014; Yang 2009), power negotiations (Cui and Lee 2010), and gender politics (Li 2015; Luo and Sun 2015). Despite their varied research angles, these studies unanimously touch upon the regulation policies issued by the state toward reality TV. These policies aim to restrict the adoption of overseas television formats that might usher into Chinese society “inappropriate influences” that contravene the ideology of the Communist Party and socialist values approved by the state. Still in force, these policies ultimately shape the environment of the Chinese reality TV industry. Family-centered and parenting-themed reality TV programs, in the “parent-child caring (qinzi)” format that embraces socialist family values ¹ and celebrates the Confucian heritage (Keane and Zhang 2017), operate under these regulatory constraints, and yet they have enjoyed wide and immediate success against a variety of entertainment and competition shows. In the West, family-themed reality TV has also become a popular research subject in recent years. Pramaggiore and Negra (2014) explore how the Kardashian family brand both deploys a logic of neoliberalism in treating the family as a locus of wealth acquisition and exemplifies the contradictory and gendered discourse of class in contemporary American society. Wu and McKernan (2013) examine comments and posts from the online fan community related to reality TV series Real Housewives of New York City to assess the fans’ views on parenthood and family relations. Edwards (2013, 5) argues that the modern American family is constructed, both on and off the screen, and that “reality TV is a key cultural site in which the contemporary politics of the family are being negotiated.” Building on the work of Western scholars, I propose that family-themed reality TV is an important cultural site through which to observe and reevaluate the modern Chinese family.

As China has modernized and globalized, the contemporary Chinese family has undergone remarkable changes. Shek (2006) analyzes how traditional Chinese culture, socialist and Maoist thought, and economic reforms have gradually transformed the emphases in Chinese families from tradition, collectivism, and parent-centeredness to Western ideologies, individualism, and child-centeredness. The predominant ideology of child-rearing in China has also undergone great changes. The implementation of the one-child policy in 1978 changed the traditional family structure of two parents and multiple children, resulting in the one-child-centered family unit, in which the only child has access to more attention and resources provided by both parents and grandparents (Xia et al. 2015, 492–93). One consequence is that the only child in the family might be spoiled into an overindulged, narcissistic, and selfish individual. On this basis, the parenting practices of this generation have been severely questioned. At the same time, the introduction of Western family values has also resulted in Chinese parents who are more lenient, relaxed, and even permissive compared with earlier generations (Shek 2006, 278). The recent shift from the one-child policy to a two-child policy ² is projected to further impact the Chinese family in terms of family budget (Liu et al. 2016), filial piety and patrilineal norms (Deutsch 2006), and the care of children (Xu et al. 2001). These changes are reflected, in one way or another, in WAWGD (S3).

Although the “realness” of reality TV has been frequently questioned, some scholars still believe that this genre carries ideological significance by creating an alternative space to show social interaction, group dynamics, interpersonal struggles, and the workings of power (Escoffery 2006). More important, in the process of reproducing social, psychological, political, and historical concerns and depicting the rhythms of everyday life, reality TV is able to take on “the burden of making sense of reality” (Biressi and Nunn 2012, 4). In this sense, WAWGD (S3) functions as a showcase for the varied dynamics of the parent-child relationship and new models of Chinese fatherhood.

Method

The reality TV format of WAWGD was imported from South Korea. The first season debuted on October 11, 2013, and enjoyed surprising success. The series has since become a massive ratings sensation in China, attracting approximately seventy-five million viewers every week and generating more than ten million comments on China’s most popular social network Sina (K. Ma 2013). The third season features a group of celebrity fathers of different ages, professions, and nationalities. These fathers include actors Liu Ye, Hu Jun, Lin Yongjian, Wang Baoqiang, professional boxer Zou Shimin, and entertainment show host Chris Downs. Liu and Downs are both in intercultural marriages; Downs is a Canadian residing and working in Taiwan while Liu lives and works both in China and France. Liu, Hu, Wang, and Zou each have two children. Hu and Lin were born in the 1960s, Liu and Downs in the 1970s, and Wang and Zou in the 1980s. The diverse backgrounds of the celebrity fathers create plenty of drama, and the dramatic effects are further amplified by the interactions between the children who are raised by parents with different personalities, life experiences, and language abilities. In such a diversified and dramatic context, intercultural tensions are intensified and foregrounded.

In this study, I employ textual analysis to interpret WAWGD (S3) in conjunction with an examination of its relevant media contexts. Textual analysis analyzes the content and structure, as well as the functions of the messages contained in specific texts (Frey et al. 2000). To conduct the textual analysis, I reviewed complete scenes from every episode of season 3 of WAWGD, paying special attention to dialogue exchanges between fathers and their children, as they are the active agents performing and representing intercultural tensions. Interaction analysis is an important part of the textual analysis because interaction “requires much knowledge on the part of individual communicators and the ability to coordinate behaviors with others” (Frey et al. 2000, 243). The study of interaction focuses on the messages exchanged during one-on-one or group interactions so as to extract systematic, orderly, and meaningful properties from the communications (Frey et al. 2000). For this study, I analyze the messages conveyed through the interactions between fathers and children in the series to grasp both understandings of and aspirations for the parent-child relationship and gender roles in modern Chinese families.

WAWGD (S3) was originally broadcast every Friday, during prime time, from July 31 to October 30, 2015, on Hunan Satellite Television. It is also available on the official website of Hunan TV. Season 3 comprises sixteen episodes, and every two episodes were shot in one culturally or geographically unique place. Each episode is approximately one hundred minutes long. As I watched the series episode by episode online, I compiled detailed notes on the verbal messages between fathers and children, descriptions of visual components such as settings and attire, and storylines important to the representation of intercultural tensions. I have identified two recurring themes, notably the contrast between Western and Chinese parenting practices and changing gender norms.

Being a Parent or Being a Friend: Parenting Practices in China and the West

Diana Baumrind (1967) has identified the three most common parental typologies: permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian. Permissive parents are described as being noncontrolling and nondemanding, while their children can be less self-reliant and less self-controlled. Authoritative parents are defined as being controlling and demanding, but warm, responsive, rational, and likely to communicate with their children. Children of authoritative parents tend to be more self-controlled, explorative, and content. Last, authoritarian parents are controlling, detached, and strict, expecting obedience and asserting power over their children, which often leads to their children being withdrawn, discontented, unsociable, and even rebellious.

In the Chinese context, the core value systems of Confucianism and Taoism have heavily influenced parenting practices. Taoism highlights self-control and interpersonal harmony, whereas Confucianism emphasizes social responsibility, social bond building, conformity to rules and norms, respect for parents and seniors, and the importance of maintaining family reputation (Leung and Shek 2016). Under these doctrines, parenting practices in China feature demands for filial piety, unconditional obedience to and respect for elders, and submission to hierarchical and patriarchal control (Shek 2006). In the Western world where independence is much valued, the individual is conceived of as an autonomous and independent entity with personal needs and attributes (Chan 2011). Thus, the parent-child relation is typically built on a more equal and mutually respectful basis. Parents tend not to force their children to do things but consciously train them to develop their own code of behavior (Wakefield 2013, 382). Admitting these differences in the prevailing values of Chinese and Western parenting practices is not to make any generalizations because there are surely Chinese parents who respect their children and befriend them as well as Western parents who can be authoritarian and controlling. Nevertheless, understanding the predominant parenting values and goals in Chinese and Western societies enables us to identify both the shifting imperatives and the resultant problems parents and children must negotiate in their given cultural contexts.

In WAWGD (S3), Lin Yongjian displays obvious authoritarian parenting practices toward his son Dajun. His controlling parenting is even more apparent when compared with the Canadian father Chris Downs. In episode 2, when Lin and Downs are assigned to jointly organize a performance for local military veterans, they disagree on several performance details. Downs is concerned that Lin’s proposal would be too difficult for the children. As they argue, Lin sees his son Dajun behaving improperly and starts lecturing Dajun on his attitude, gradually losing his temper. Dajun challenges his dad, asking if he is the devil. Lin immediately replies that he is his father, asserting a father’s supremacy and overriding parental role as exemplified by the old Chinese saying that “fu yao zi si, zi bu neng bu si” (if a father wants the child to die, the child cannot have the option of not dying; Shek 2006, 277). Lin is seen enforcing his authority over his son and not treating him in a respectful way.

When challenged by his son, Lin becomes irritated and leaves the rehearsal room. Because all the children witness the interaction, Downs has to calm them down to maintain the teaching process. When his daughter Poppy makes an inappropriate request, Downs strategically tells stories to indicate what she should and should not do. His use of storytelling distracts his daughter and eases the parent-child tension. Lin shows typical Chinese parental authority in demanding that a son should unconditionally listen to his father. In contrast, Downs is patient and permissive, not just to his daughter but also to all the children present. Lin’s authoritarian and power-assertive methods turned out to be disruptive and ineffectual, while Downs’s positive use of storytelling proved to be more effective.

This contrast in parenting practices between Lin and Downs is highlighted in many episodes. In episode 6, the children are encouraged to step into a muddy field to feel the sticky mud. All the other children step into the field, but Downs’s daughter Poppy and Lin’s son Dajun are reluctant to join them. Seeing Poppy struggling, Downs starts to remind her of the story of Peppa Pig ³ who loved having fun in the mud. Poppy finally overcomes her worry and joins in the mud party. However, Dajun is still resistant. Suddenly, Lin grabs Dajun and violently throws him into the mud. The way that Downs encourages his daughter by using a familiar story is clearly effective in resolving the standoff, while Lin’s approach to Dajun is simple, violent, and destructive of their father-son relationship. Downs conveys to his daughter not a fatherly order but a spirit of trying. This supports Wakefield’s (2013) argument that Western parents tend to develop children’s independence in making decisions rather than simply telling them what to do and what not to do.

Lin and Downs’s different parenting practices have been widely discussed in the Chinese media. An article titled “Why Are We Praising Downs but Doing Like Lin?” ⁴ points out that the relationship between Lin and Dajun typifies what is most prevalent in Chinese society, and their conflicts are illustrative of the daily interaction of most Chinese families. Chinese parents see their children’s achievements as a way to win praise and increase their social status. Thus, Lin keeps emphasizing his role as a father and exhorts Dajun to behave properly to maintain a father’s authority and the family’s reputation. In contrast, Downs sees Poppy as a friend, always initiating open communication and encouraging sharing and respect. The relationship between Lin and Downs enacts multiple levels of intercultural tension due to their different backgrounds, personalities, life values, and personal experiences. However, it is their disparate views on child-rearing that most clearly reflect the ideological differences between predominant parenting styles in the West and in China. For audiences who have never been exposed to Western parenting practices and who have not yet become aware of the problems of their own child-rearing, the series serves as an effective venue for learning new ways to parent and to reflect upon what has been missing in their own families.

Celebrating Both Ways: Parenting Practices in Interracial Marriage Families

Scholars commonly believe that child-rearing can be a significant source of conflicts for interracial couples (Crippen and Brew 2007; Romano 2001) around issues such as corporal punishment, parental expectations of children, and the importance of empathizing with children’s needs (Jambunathan et al. 2000). Quah (2003) has argued that different understandings of parenting styles, including methods of discipline, demonstration of affection, and roles of the parents are significant sources of discord. Parental conflicts can generate negative consequences for children that express maladaptive behavior in their adolescence (Bradford et al. 2003), emotional problems, and difficulties in their identity formation (McDermott and Fukunaga 1977). However, the two children, Poppy and Noé, from interracial families in WAWGD (S3), tell different stories. The images of both children, well-behaved, easygoing, sociable, caring, and responsible, challenge the scholarly argument that children living with interracial parents exhibit higher levels of negative affect (Pearce-Morris and King 2012). In this section, I focus on how interracial parents negotiate cultural differences in the series and explore the merits of both Chinese and Western parenting practices.

Poppy’s mother is Taiwanese, and her father is Canadian. In Poppy’s family, the parenting style is Westernized, featuring freedom, independence, and the expression of affection, even though this family resides mostly in Taiwan. From the first episode, Downs presents as a different type of father, not only because of his non-Chinese identity, but also because of his parenting style. He was the only father who had spent long periods of time with his daughter prior to the series and the only father who was willing to be manicured by his daughter, to set a “Kiss Bell” rule ⁵ at home, and to make a “pinky promise” with his daughter. Scholars find that children who are exposed to love-oriented disciplinary techniques are more likely to understand and internalize the values of their parents (Spera 2005). In a relaxed and warm family environment, Poppy displays evident self-control and self-regulation and naturally expresses her feelings to different people in the series. Kissing, hugging, and expressing love seem spontaneous and easy for her. Such warm, involving, and immediate expressions can easily initiate a closer interpersonal relationship among family members. It is obvious that Poppy and her father have a desirable parent-child relationship, one that is characterized by closeness, respect, and effective communication. Their relationship was highly praised by Chinese audiences on various media platforms because it displayed exactly what has been missing in so many Chinese families (M. Ma 2014; Zhu 2014).

At the same time, the influence of Chinese culture, particularly the values of collectivism and filial piety, is also visible in Poppy’s behavior and approach to life. In challenges in which the dads are absent, Poppy always takes care of the younger children, balances assignments among members, and helps accomplish group goals. Her collectivist consciousness (Hofstede 1984) is clearly reflected by her performance in multiple challenges. The other Chinese trait Poppy enacts is her inclination to maintain a closer relationship with her parents. In episode 10 in which Poppy’s dad, Downs, hurts his back and has to stay in bed, Poppy makes every effort to nurse and entertain him. In episode 12, to help the children understand aging and death, fathers and the newly invited mothers wear old-age makeup and dress up as elderly people. Poppy is shocked by her mother’s aged appearance, sobbing that she would want to die if she lost her mother. After discovering the trick, she says she would take care of her parents when they grew old. Poppy’s role as a caretaker among her peers and her attitudes and actions toward her parents are undeniably in accordance with expectations of children in the traditional Chinese culture.

If the parenting practices in Poppy’s family are more Westernized, the way Noé has been raised is equally affected by both Western and Chinese parenting practices. Noé’s mother Anna is a Beijing-based photographer of Jewish descent with a longstanding interest in Chinese language and culture. The father, Liu Ye, one of the top actors in China, grew up in a traditional family in which showing respect to elders and following certain family rules were highly important. Thus, in this family, both Chinese and Western parenting practices are evident. Anna’s fascination with Chinese culture enables her to understand the merits of Chinese parenting practices that feature filial piety, social responsibility, and conformity to discipline. At home, family rules are set in terms of how to eat, what to wear, and what to read. Both parents also consciously educate Noé to be a responsible and caring individual, in part, by asking him to take care of his baby sister. As for showing respect to elders, every Chinese New Year, Liu Ye and Anna dress up their children in traditional Chinese attire and have them perform kowtow to their grandparents (Liqiu 2015).

At the same time, Anna’s Western roots guide her in raising her children in Western ways. For example, Noé started to sleep alone when he was only two months old. In Western culture, “separateness and independence are stressed by having the infant sleep in his own crib shortly after birth” (Mann and Waldron 1977, 64). Anna also frequently takes her children to volunteer in programs that aim to help those who are in need. Being frequently exposed to other people’s hardship, Noé surely knows how to cope with adversity. In the first episode, when Liu Ye and Noé randomly choose, sight unseen, the dilapidated cave full of dirt, with broken windows, to be their accommodation, even the father is shocked. As a five-year-old child, Noé is not frustrated or appalled, rather, he starts to comfort his father. Noé shows a resilience that enables him to adapt to undesirable situations (Masten 2001). Noé’s reaction soon became a headline in the Chinese media, and Anna’s parenting practices have been widely appreciated.

The ways Poppy and Noé have been raised are by no means representative of all interracial families in China; both children are from celebrity families and both non-Chinese parents are capable of speaking fluent Mandarin and have deep understandings of Chinese culture. As a reality TV series, WAWGD (S3) contains different levels of performativity and scriptedness. Producers probably intended to portray Poppy and Noé as adorable and admirable. But, undoubtedly, their positive images are a credit to their interracial parents who are able to negotiate cultural differences and take advantage of the merits of both Chinese and Western parenting practices. The representations of Poppy and Noé in the series both amplify the positivity of Western parenting practices to those who have little knowledge of them and highlight the continuing benefits traditional Chinese culture has brought to the parent-child relationship. For Chinese audiences, to watch Poppy and Noé in the series is not just to fantasize them as role models, it is also to learn the benefits of balancing the strengths of intercultural parenting styles. These realizations are reflected in various panel discussions on Chinese online forums, such as Zhihu, Baidutieba, and Douban. ⁶

Gender Roles and New Fatherhood in Chinese Parenting Practices

In this section, I analyze how gender roles and the new fatherhood reflect the change in parenting practices in China. Western scholars began to conduct research on fathers’ attitudes and activities in the 1940s (Seward and Stanley-Stevens 2014, 459). These studies challenged the assumption that parenting practices “were limited to and synonymous with mothering.” Seward and Stanley-Stevens (2014) further differentiate the conventional roles father and mother play in a family, fathers being the key providers for the family with while? mothers handling routine domestic duties and daily care of the children.

As in most cultures in the world, Chinese fathers are expected to support the family financially, whereas mothers take charge of childcare and the domestic sphere even though, in modern times, most of them also work outside the home. In China, it is socially understandable and acceptable if fathers do not spend much time at home or participate in the daily care of their children (Xia et al. 2015, 510) as their roles are as breadwinners. This is confirmed in the first episode of WAWGD (S3) when all the Chinese fathers admit that they have never taken their children anywhere without their mother and had missed important life moments due to busy working schedules. In the early episodes, most of them grapple with the practical aspects of taking care of their children, such as cooking, packing, dressing their children, and so forth. In episode 9, father Wang Baoqiang openly talks about how he has been taught, step by step, by his wife at home to comb and braid his daughter’s hair, to match the pieces of her outfit, and to calm her down when she cries.

Although the fathers were inexperienced and clumsy in the early episodes, they understood the importance and necessity of doing such chores, especially when mothers were absent. Hu Jun, a father who embodies many traditional Chinese values and is unable to cook at first, grows into a good cook by the closing episodes of the season. More than once, he tells the other fathers how his wife trained him at home between episodes. In a certain way, the series may have reinforced gender role stereotypes in the modern Chinese family by highlighting the struggles and domestic ineptitude of the fathers and the domestic competence and expertise of the mothers as they “mentor” the fathers. But such is also to admit the central importance of the mother in a family even if she is not present. The absence of mothers in the series facilitates the fathers’ (supposedly feminist) growth in taking care of their children and doing domestic chores. Episode by episode, we see the fathers change, becoming more open and willing to do home-oriented work, and gradually forming a new paternal role. Importantly, this new image of what fatherhood can be is broadcast widely as the series transmits the message to the larger society that men should play a key and active role in the construction of family relations, and that gender roles in traditional Chinese culture should be reconsidered.

Another narrative visible in the series addresses gender roles and the differences in parenting boys and girls. Research has suggested that the nature of the parent-child relationship is different for boys and girls in Chinese society (Xia et al. 2015, 495; Shek 2006, 276). Traditionally, Chinese mothers are more involved in their daughters’ lives because they play a modeling role for them and share the same gender (Xia et al. 2015, 510). There is also the belief in Chinese culture that girls need more protection than boys. Without the presence of mothers in the series, the father-daughter relationship is foregrounded. Episode 14 features a paternal exchange program in which fathers are teamed with children not their own and tasked with finishing different challenges. Boxer Zou Shimin was assigned to teach Poppy boxing to compete with Zou’s son Xuanxuan. In the process of training, Zou seems to comfortably get along with Poppy. He helps Poppy build confidence by constantly encouraging and complimenting her. He also employs playful tactics to teach Poppy basic boxing skills. Zou’s parenting style, with its Western-style encouragement of individual growth and friendly communication, helps him form a close father-daughter-type relationship with Poppy, even though he has no previous experience in raising a girl. Before the final battle, Zou has a serious talk with Xuanxuan, telling him that, as a boy, he should give precedence to Poppy out of courtesy. In the competition, Zou continuously warns Xuanxuan to be gentle to his female opponent. With the help of Zou, Poppy is able to punch Xuanxuan and knock him to the ground, eventually winning the battle.

But Poppy’s father Downs is not happy about the faked victory. For him, Zou is overprotective toward Poppy. Downs believes that parents should prepare their daughters for a world of challenges and adversities. At the same time, Downs is very clear that girls do sometimes, in some situations, need extra protection. In episode 4, when Poppy is peeped at by Xuanxuan while in the shower, Downs takes it very seriously and strongly reemphasizes to Poppy that she needs to protect her body. This incident stirred an uproar on the Internet as some Chinese netizens accused Downs of making a fuss about nothing, while others expressed pity for Xuanxuan’s parents because of their lack of awareness of sex education. Zou and his wife even tried to defend their son’s “innocent” behavior on their social networking accounts. This incident clearly reflects some of the conflicting ideas on sex education and gender roles between Chinese parents and Western parents.

Western parents, in general, are more willing to engage in sex education with their children. According to a study of parents’ experiences of providing sex education to their children in the United Kingdom, parents who develop interpersonal skills such as being approachable, supportive, respectful, open, and honest and are able to use humor are successful in communicating with their children about sex-related topics (Walker 2001). In China, talking about sex in public is considered to be inappropriate. At home, communication between parents and children regarding sexuality is very limited (Zhang et al. 2007). This is largely due to the traditional social norms that see sex as a taboo. In addition, Chinese parents, both old and young, may not be aware of their children’s need for sex education, and they also feel uncertain about what they should know, do, and say (Walker 2001). It is not productive to blame Xuanxuan for peeping at Poppy in the shower, nor are his parents negligent. They are just following the norms of society, norms gradually formed with the intervention of the state that advocates an “abstinence approach” toward sex education (Aresu 2009) and fails to educate its people about the necessity of sexual socialization in early childhood. This incident reveals an area of weakness in Chinese parenting in a modern world in which providing sex education to children is increasingly important, at least in economically developed countries. The heated online debates sparked by this incident on reality TV have been a stimulus to raise national awareness of sex education for children. Boys and girls may be still raised differently, but the sex education they receive is equally important.

Kane (2012) discusses a type of parent he calls the Naturalizer who sees gender as a natural biological construct. Kane notes that, on one hand, Naturalizer parents want their daughters to be empowered in society. On the other hand, they wish their sons to grow up to be sensitive fathers, but keep teaching them to suppress their feelings. In this sense, Lin, Zou, Liu, and Downs each display, in one way or another, the characteristics of Naturalizer parents. The often contradictory and paradoxical behavior of these fathers is understandable in the face of the obstacles posed by gender norms in current Chinese society. Their representations in the series and the evident results of their parenting highlight important issues for the Chinese parents in their audience, notably, that the way parents treat their children and the behavior, gendered and in general, they model for and require of their children matters for not only the happiness of their children but the health of the society. Therefore, I argue that the series both raises the awareness of the problematic side of parenting in Chinese society and spreads positive messages about changing gender roles and the new fatherhood to the larger society.

Conclusion

WAWGD (S3) serves as an ideal cultural conduit to observe the changing discourses on parenting practices in modern Chinese families. With the effects of decades of increasing modernization, industrialization, and urbanization, the norms of Chinese family relationships are due for serious reconsideration and reevaluation.

In WAWGD (S3), celebrity father Lin Yongjian’s interaction with his son Dajun clearly illustrates a father’s authoritarian parenting practices in his enactment of control, detachment, strictness, and assertion. Lin is frequently teamed up with the patient and easygoing Canadian father, Downs, who has a close relationship with his daughter. This might have been a strategy by the series’ producers to create conflicts and drama. However, luckily for Lin, he is able to learn from Downs. In the last few episodes, Lin is able to effectively and respectfully communicate with his son and begin to forge a new father-son relationship. If the parenting practices of Lin and Downs create conflict and discord, the parenting practices of Poppy and Noé’s fathers focus more on balance and harmony and reflect the successful blending of Chinese and Western parenting practices. Their positive images, as mediated through the series, represent an easy communication, affectionate expression, sociability, loving discipline, and respectful consideration that Chinese parents can observe and choose to incorporate into their own practices.

In addition to representing changing parenting practices on the series, gender roles and the new fatherhood are also key themes. Celebrity fathers from disparate backgrounds, with very different personalities, seek to adjust themselves to the role of the “new father” who can both work outside the home and be a nurturing parent. This is a significant departure from and challenge to the traditional gendered stereotype in Chinese culture that men cannot and should not do home-related jobs. In this sense, I argue that the popularity of WAWGD and its fans’ avid online engagement with the issues that arise indicate that the series is able to evoke deep concerns about the cultural practices of child-rearing in Chinese society. Parenting reality TV series in Western countries, such as Supernanny and Nanny 911, tend to hypersymbolize the mothers by focusing on how they continue, feminism notwithstanding, to play the central role in the practice and ethics of domestic caregiving (Brancato 2007, 51). WAWGD adopts the unconventional tactic of exploring the father-child relationship in modern Chinese families, and it has proved to be a commercial and cultural success.

Of course, parents in any cultural context have diverse needs and social imperatives, and there is no one style of “ideal parenting” (Walker 2004). My discussion here, necessarily limited in length, is only an attempt to identify and investigate issues of parenting and (gender) roles in modern Chinese families. I choose to focus on season 3 of WAWGD, thus, likely excluding other intercultural tensions from other seasons. I also chose to explore the differences between Chinese and Western parenting practices and the resulting formation of new gender roles, less to suggest that parenting, fathering, and gender roles in China need to be changed than to further our understanding of the varied and often paradoxical transformations in the Chinese family being inevitably wrought by processes of modernization and globalization. Although there are weaknesses in traditional Chinese parenting practices, as I have discussed throughout, there are also important strengths in traditional Chinese social norms such as filial piety and social responsibility. Thus, I see the “modern” Chinese family as a dynamically developing social norm that combines the merits of traditional Chinese values with selected Western family values. A further exploration of how audiences respond to the series and how they use their viewing experiences to reflect on their own parenting practices would surely enrich the understanding of parenting practices and gender roles in the modern Chinese family.