Discovering Real Men Care: The Emergent Masculinities of Stay-at-Home Husbands in Hong Kong

Abstract

The rising phenomenon of stay-at-home husbands (SAHHs) in Hong Kong exemplifies the evolution of masculinities in Asia. The development of emergent masculinities through SAHHs is intertwined with hybrid masculinities to expand the range of visible male roles in an Asian context. The implication of SAHHs is explored through interviews conducted with 31 middle-class SAHHs and 19 wives of SAHHs in Hong Kong. Two key findings are (1) emergent masculinities via SAHHs upend conventional gendered family roles as they become the primary caregivers for their children with notable support from their breadwinner wives and (2) hybrid masculinities in blended gender roles continue to actively evolve in Hong Kong. These findings highlight how emergent masculinities are entwined with hybrid masculinities whereby SAHHs maintain some traditional gender roles and values while embracing tasks associated with child-rearing, which prioritize care, emotional expression, and domesticity. These emerging roles contribute to the literature on masculinity by highlighting Hong Kong SAHHs during the COVID-19 era. The data suggest a reframing of traditional or conventional expectations of masculinities, and through crucial support by their wives, they will continue the trend toward more dynamic gender relations.

Keywords

stay-at-home husbands emergent masculinities fatherhood gender masculinities Hong Kong

Introduction

Current research on the social experiences of stay-at-home husbands (hereafter SAHH/SAHHs) remains nascent (Kramer et al., 2016). More research is needed to explore how SAHHs negotiate their identity as the primary caregiver in Chinese society, despite prejudice and negative stereotyping (Leung et al., 2019; Liong, 2017; Lui & Lee, 2019). Although there have been government-sponsored initiatives to promote father involvement, SAHHs report gender-deterministic struggles associated with stereotypical male and female roles. The backlash from other adults criticizes them for relinquishing their male role and doing a poor job taking up the female role (Sinno & Killen, 2009).

The experiences of SAHHs in Hong Kong embody the concept of emergent masculinities (Inhorn & Wentzell, 2011, p. 801) entwined with hybrid masculinities (Bridges & Pascoe, 2014) in middle-class married men. The process whereby harmful hegemonic manhood is replaced by emerging male gender roles ramped up during COVID-19 in Hong Kong. Economic disruption impacted several male-dominated sectors, forcing some men to become SAHHs even as their wives, working in stable sectors like health care, then assumed the role of primary earner. Cultural shifts toward egalitarian roles and remote work also encouraged this re-evaluation of traditional gender dynamics.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, Hong Kong’s unemployment rate remained below its 10-year (2012–2022) average of 3.83% (Census and Statistics Department, 2016), before rising to 5.1% in 2022 (Census and Statistics Department, 2023). This 2022 unemployment rate was mainly felt in the retail, accommodation, and food services sectors (6.8%), followed by the construction industry (6.6%), manufacturing (5.1%), and banking, aircraft, and services industries (3%) (Census and Statistics Department, 2023). In the context of managerial roles in Hong Kong, a gender-based analysis of data from the Census and Statistics Bureau highlights a shifting landscape. In 2016, men held 65.8% of these positions, signifying a substantial majority (Census and Statistics Department, 2016). However, men in managerial roles decreased to 58% in 2021 (Census and Statistics Department, 2021). Data from the Hong Kong Government’s Population Census showed notable growth in the number of household husbands during and after the pandemic, from 5.83% to 7.29% (Census and Statistics Department, 2016, 2021).

In 2019, the Hong Kong government introduced a paternity leave policy granting new fathers 5 days of paid leave, supporting them in newborn care, and encouraging a shift away from traditional gender roles (Chung & van der Horst, 2018). Research indicates that comprehensive paternity leave policies can significantly influence gender dynamics by encouraging fathers to take a more active role in child-rearing (Koslowski et al., 2020). It acknowledges the heightened need for work–life balance and shared child care responsibilities in a city where dual-income households are common. Such policies are progressively influencing societal norms, rendering it increasingly acceptable for men to assume the role of SAHHs.

This shift is not limited to the context of the COVID-19 pandemic; it is continuing to evolve in various Southeast Asian cities beyond the pandemic period. The COVID-19 pandemic was a watershed moment for Hong Kong middle-class SAHHs to re-imagine their roles and allow men to decelerate their pace of life, devoting more time to their families.

The literature on SAHHs draws examples mainly from studies conducted in Europe and North America (Doucet, 2016; Elliott, 2015; Kim & Pyke, 2015; Kramer & Kramer, 2016; Lamb, 2010; Marsiglio et al., 2000). There is scant research in Asian, African, and Latin American countries.

In Hong Kong, SAHHs are not widely accepted as a subset of men in non-traditional gender roles. As women assume the role of breadwinners, the men who became unemployed face pressure to redefine their roles to include managing the home and nurturing the children (Chan, 2012; Lau et al., 2006; Leung et al., 2019; Lui & Lee, 2019). As noted earlier, the percentage of SAHHs in Hong Kong rose notably, from 5.83% in 2016 to 7.29% in 2023 (Census and Statistics Department, 2016, 2023).

These socio-cultural shifts make Hong Kong an excellent case study of evolving masculinities. Research questions guiding this study are as follows:

Research Question 1 (RQ1): Why and how did middle-class married men transition to becoming full-time SAHHs in Hong Kong?

Research Question 2 (RQ2): How did wives influence this transition, and how did the wives regard this transition?

Research Question 3 (RQ3): What difficulties did they face in deciding to become an SAHH?

This article first delves into the concept of emergent masculinities, entwined with hybrid masculinities, examining how they form and emerge to challenge or correct the limitations of hegemonic masculinities. Next, the research method identifies how the data were collected and coded, identifying common themes. The emerging themes highlight how SAHHs in Hong Kong negotiate work and home responsibilities with their spouses, in light of government initiatives in areas such as paternity leave.

Conceptual Framework

Existing Literature on SAHHs

There is a growing literature on masculinities or changing gender relations that explain the trajectory for becoming an SAHH in Western countries (Almqvist & Duvander, 2014; Flouri, 2010; Pleck, 1997; Rehel, 2014). The literature reflects an evolving process, as married couples shift from traditional to liberal roles (Elliott, 2015; Fox et al., 2015; Lowe and Tsang, 2017; Tsang, 2019a; Tsang and Lowe, 2018). Scholars note the trend of an increasing number of SAHHs and breadwinning mothers in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom (Doucet, 2016; Doucet & Merla, 2007; Elliott, 2015; Marsiglio et al., 2000). However, given the various socio-cultural situations from which SAHHs emerge, neither scholars nor government agencies can agree definitively on who, why, or when they will emerge. Through the lens of masculinities, SAHHs represent a “dislocation” of traditional gender roles because fatherhood is socially and historically constructed around financial provisions and career achievements rather than domestic interactions with children (Lewin, 2009). Pleck (1997) examined middle-class married men and found an increase in the fathers’ engagement, accessibility, and responsibility in their children’s lives. Chesley (2011) used the concept of doing/redoing gender theory to depict how men come to value their increased involvement in children’s care in ways that reduce gender differences. Shows and Gerstel (2009) found that middle-class fathers exhibited less receptiveness and less tentativeness than working-class fathers in assuming the role of stay-at-home parents. Elliott’s (2015) idea of caring masculinities noted how men’s unconventional sustained care for women’s needs bears the potential to advance the cause of gender equality. All these studies (Chesley, 2011; Elliott, 2015; Pleck, 1997; Shows and Gerstel, 2009) support the notion of men assuming the role of nurturing caregiver with subsequent benefits accruing to the entire family.

Literature in Southeast Asia typically reflects the traditional view that men should be the breadwinners, lest they lose their masculine identity (Choi & Ting, 2009; Liong, 2017; Lui & Lee, 2019; Yeung, 2013). This study emphasizes the transformative experiences of men but insufficiently explores the intricacies of wives’ contributions and insights. The narratives offered by wives provide a backdrop for understanding men’s negotiations of masculinity, highlighting the lack of explicit theorization regarding wives’ agency and perspectives within these dynamics (Chen, 2023; Hoang & Yeoh, 2011). Existing literature on the supportive roles of wives tends to focus on cultural contexts, where they remain supportive figures rather than central narratives driving theoretical advancements. For example, Lam and Yeoh (2018) examine gender subjectivities in Indonesia and the Philippines, underscoring how migrant mothers and left-behind fathers navigate gender roles. In this context, the voices of wives are crucial yet remain secondary to the central discourse. Similarly, Pingol’s (2001) work on remaking masculinities within families with migrant wives and househusbands offers foundational insights into identity and power dynamics, but it also positions wives’ perspectives as secondary to discussions of masculinity. Overall, while the role of wives is recognized, it is often relegated to a supportive context rather than being a central narrative that drives theoretical advancements.

Studies conducted in China reveal varying degrees of changes regarding gender and power dynamics; however, men generally continue adhering to traditional gender roles. Choi and Peng (2016) coined the term “masculine compromise” to describe migrant men’s efforts to maintain gender boundaries and their symbolic dominance within the family by adjusting their marital power dynamics, altering the domestic division of labor, and redefining concepts of filial piety and fatherhood. This perspective focuses on gender as a hierarchical structure whereby power continues to rest with men. Liu (2017) highlights the shift in societal and gender norms, with the younger generation placing a higher emphasis on individual success (chenggong) as a measure of masculinities.

Louie (2002) presents a uniquely Chinese approach to masculinity, suggesting it comprises dual ideals—“wen (scholarly)” and “wu (martial)”—that coexist and are not mutually exclusive. The two interact in complex ways, shaping Chinese masculinity across different contexts and periods. The traits of refined demeanor (wen) and decisive action (wu) are two typical manifestations. Influenced by Confucian ethics and morality, Chinese men have long equated them with masculinity, leading to a stereotype that belittles feminine traits. However, Louie (2002) overlooks the critical role of spouses in enabling their husbands to effectively assume the position of SAHHs. Therefore, literature is needed to address the crucial role of social support from primary groups, especially wives’ support in non-Western contexts.

In Hong Kong, women are still expected to prioritize child care over full-time work, emphasizing gender inequality in domestic responsibilities (Chan, 2012; Lau et al., 2006; Leung et al., 2019). Other scholars (Liong, 2017) note that working-class fathers in Hong Kong were more willing to become SAHHs than middle-class fathers. Historically, Hong Kong was a British colony, and the colonial legacies have fostered a dialogue between tradition and modernity. Drawing parallels with other post-colonial contexts, such as Ireland, Hong Kong also shows similar patterns of identity negotiation and adaptation (Darcy, 2019). In Ireland, British colonial rule significantly influenced the conceptualization of masculinities. Colonialism often imposed foreign ideals and governance structures, creating a complex relationship between traditional practices and new socio-political realities. Similar to Hong Kong, Ireland experienced a hybridization where traditional masculine traits were reframed under colonial rule, often resisting or negotiating with British norms. Neale and Tarrant (2024) examine the experiences of young fathers as they navigate fatherhood amid social and economic challenges. Her research highlights the need for supportive policies that address the unique circumstances of young fathers. Hanlon (2012) explores caring masculinities, challenging traditional notions by emphasizing care and emotional expressiveness as integral to male identities, countering the stereotype of toughness and stoicism. In the former British colony of Hong Kong, masculinities blend Confucian values with Western ideals, while in Ireland, masculinities are partially defined by resistance to colonial oppression. These colonial histories continue to shape contemporary gender dynamics and identities in both regions.

The groundbreaking concept of hegemonic masculinities (Connell, 1995; Connell, 2000) occupies a central position in the scholarship of gender theorists. Connell (2000) regards masculinities as an identifiable and collectively performed set of practices occurring across space and time. Hegemonic masculinities dominate and marginalize femininity, holding it inferior and subordinate to masculinities, producing gender hegemony. Connell (1995) describes hegemonic masculinities as the complex of culturally idealized, male-dominant forms that are most influential in shaping gender relations in a given society. It is the set of practices and beliefs that legitimizes men’s dominant position in society and justifies the subordination of women and other marginalized ways of being a man. Hegemonic masculinities are not a static concept. It is subject to negotiation and evolution and is ultimately influenced by the cultural, historical, and socio-economic context of a given society (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). Therefore, with the trajectories of the society, the gender roles between men and women evolve.

Holistic Approach: Emergent Masculinities Entwined with Hybrid Masculinities

Inhorn and Wentzell (2011) eschew an inherent hierarchy of masculinities and argue that masculinities reflect contemporary social, cultural, and economic shifts. The emergent forms of masculinities are shaped by complex socio-cultural, economic, and political changes, and both men and women must adjust to changing gender roles. As traditional gender roles become fluid, men are encouraged to explore identities beyond the conventional breadwinner model, revealing alternative forms of masculinities that resist dominant norms (Williams, 1977: 123). These emergent masculinities introduce reframing forms of gender roles, meanings, and practices, accommodating changing gender roles as part of a broader liberal and egalitarian transformation.

Hybrid masculinities allow men to engage with and adopt elements that may not conventionally belong to hegemonic masculinity, thereby creating space for alternative forms of masculine expression. Men can appear progressive and empathetic without fundamentally altering the power dynamics inherent in traditional masculinity. They can distance themselves from the negative connotations of traditional masculinity—such as aggressiveness or emotional suppression—while still benefiting from the social and economic advantages that come with being male (Bridges & Pascoe, 2014). Bridges and Pascoe (2014), in their analysis of middle-class white American men, found that such men symbolically distance themselves from hegemonic masculinity while selectively integrating marginalized or subordinate masculine elements into their gender performance and identity construction.

Hybrid masculinities denote the traditional role of “breadwinner” or “economic provider” to that of “responsible father,” “caregiving father,” or “emotional father” (Wang, 2019). This approach challenges the rigidity of traditional hegemonic masculinity. A core proposition of this approach is that, with increased cultural inclusivity, men can gradually embrace traits once deemed “feminine.” These traits—such as emotional openness, nurturing behavior, and collaborative (rather than dominant) roles—can be embraced without sacrificing their masculine identity (Tsang, 2020a). The hybridization of masculinities in Chinese culture, particularly within Hong Kong, reflects a transformative response to socio-economic forces, as explored by scholars like Demetriou (2001), Arxer (2011), and Lowe and Tsang (2018), Tsang (2019), and Tsang et al. (2019). This concept suggests that traditional masculine identities are not entirely discarded but are transfigured in response to changing social and economic contexts. Specifically, the economic pressures experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic necessitated a re-evaluation of masculine roles, especially for men who became SAHHs.

Conceptual Interconnection

Understanding the relationship between emergent and hybrid masculinities involves exploring how these concepts interact and complement each other. Emergent masculinities are manifest through hybridization, wherein individuals blend traditional masculine traits with new behaviors and attitudes to navigate changing social landscapes. For instance, in contexts where traditional masculine roles are under scrutiny or evolving, hybrid masculinities allow individuals to retain certain traditional elements while incorporating new perspectives or practices. In a rapidly evolving environment like Hong Kong, men can assume roles in the domestic sphere, challenging and redefining historical gender norms. Emergent masculinities give new meanings to behaviors and practices, acknowledging that gender roles fluidly emerge in liberal and egalitarian forms. Conversely, hybrid masculinities can be seen as specific expressions or manifestations of emergent masculinities. As social conditions evolve, individuals may adopt hybrid identities, a blending of traditional and non-traditional roles and values, as a pragmatic response to reconcile conflicting pressures or opportunities.

Entwining emergent and hybrid masculinities offers significant theoretical implications. This conceptual framework challenges static notions of gender identity, highlighting the adaptability and creativity of masculine identity construction. By illustrating how masculinities emerge and are hybridized, this article contributes to a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics in transitional societies. Furthermore, this approach sheds light on the interaction between masculinities and hegemonic structures. While hegemonic masculinity often represents traditional power dynamics, the emergence and hybridization of masculinities suggest potential shifts or disruptions to these norms. As individuals blend traditional and non-traditional elements, they may concurrently reinforce or challenge hegemonic masculinity, depending on how hybrid identities are perceived and enacted within societal structures.

Since emergent masculinities are entwined with hybrid masculinities, the two concepts are complementary and reflect elements of the other. They are particularly useful to apply in Hong Kong, given its history as a British colony. This article argues (1) the Hong Kong middle-class husbands who aspire to become SAHHs actively balance myriad gender roles reflecting both traditional and non-traditional values; (2) by being willing to become SAHHs, they accept a diminished hegemonic role congruence in the context of power shifts and alterations in gender roles; and (3) by becoming an SAHH, the relationship with their wives changes to one marked by more compassionate, egalitarian roles. This article contributes to the expanding body of literature on masculinities and evolving gender relations by noting the transformation that gained momentum during the COVID-19 pandemic. Earlier research by Rushing and Sparks (2017) and Rushing and Powell (2015) explored the dynamics between SAHHs and their working wives. This article extends that research by analyzing the role of these wives as primary breadwinners. The role of these wives is a significant and integral part of the process whereby their husbands became SAHHs.

Method

Qualitative research enables in-depth exploration of the diverse experiences of SAHHs and their perceptions of masculinities in their performance as family caregivers. The social character of gender must be understood through a relational approach, addressing the connections, differences, and hierarchies among men and between men and women (Tsang, 2019b). Therefore, this study recruited and interviewed SAHHs and the wives of SAHHs. The interviews did not involve couples or dyads. None of the wives or husbands interviewed were connected to another participant. This was done to gain a more nuanced understanding of the changing dynamics of family and gender roles (Solomon, 2014).

Individual network refers to the individuals the researcher knows through direct interaction within her friend circles. Professional network refers to the individuals the researcher knows through academic and professional settings, as well as through professional associations and conferences. The author rigorously monitored and documented participant referrals to ensure a mix of demographics and professional backgrounds. While this approach provided practical access to participants, the author understands its limitations in terms of sample diversity. To mitigate these limitations, she employed snowball sampling, requesting initial participants to refer others within and beyond their immediate circles, thereby broadening the scope and diversity of the sample. Screening of the informants used a short list of criteria: (1) the husband had at least a bachelor’s degree; (2) he had spent at least 3 months as an SAHH; (3) the wife worked and earned at least one-third more than her husband at the time of the interview; and (4) the family did not employ a domestic helper (although we allowed for occasional help from parents and in-laws). This criterion was because assistance from domestic helpers would make it difficult to assess the distribution of home care workload between the SAHH and their wives.

However, this effort could only locate middle-class husbands and wives and not working-class SAHHs and wives. This process aimed to reach a wider audience and reduce the influence of any single network. In addition, we compared the demographic data of our sample against industry standards to ensure representativeness. Although snowball sampling has inherent biases, our approach aimed to balance practicality with the need for a diverse and representative sample. One of the limitations of this study is that it cannot capture the holistic picture of the SAHHs in Hong Kong.

All the men interviewed were aged between 27 and 45 years and reported losing their jobs in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Among the interviewees, seven worked in education (primary, secondary, or university); eight worked in aviation (flight crew or airport staff); five worked in hotel and catering services; five worked in administrative or executive jobs; four worked in banking, and two worked in social welfare services. Their time as SAHHs ranged from 3 to 12 months. Only full-time breadwinning wives who spent less time at home than their husbands were interviewed. Among those participants, nine worked in the civil service, five worked in health care as doctors or nurses, and five were teachers. The wives were aged between 24 and 41 years old and supported their husbands’ becoming SAHHs.

Procedurally, in-depth face-to-face interviews were conducted using open-ended questions in Cantonese with 31 men and 19 women from March 2020 to April 2021. The methodology employed in the study did not involve dyadic interviews with husband-and-wife couples. Wives of SAHHs were included because their perspectives provide important context to that of the SAHHs. Having both men’s and women’s perspectives on emerging masculinities reflects the importance of social support for SAHHs (Lee & Lee, 2018).

The study method involved individual interviews with the men and women who fit the criteria for the study. They were each interviewed individually in public spaces such as cafes and bistros, as well as online, each lasting 1 hr. In the recruiting phase, each of the participants agreed they did not wish to have their spouses included in the study because they did not want to worry about being challenged or corrected by their spouse. This methodological choice aimed to elicit individual perspectives free from social desirability bias, enabling candidness and depth (Dolan, 2011). Separate interviews help illuminate discrepancies in perceptions and provide nuanced insights into household gender roles and dynamics (Tsang, 2020b). However, this approach sacrifices the ability to observe real-time interactions, which would be essential for understanding couple negotiation and conflict resolution.

The researcher’s positionality and reflexivity are pivotal in shaping the research process and its outcomes. As a married, middle-class woman with a family, she possesses shared experiences that enhance her ability to empathize with the participants in the study, facilitating a deeper understanding of their challenges. By being cognizant of her positionality, the researcher can critically assess how her identity and experiences influence her interactions and interpretations. Her familiarity with family dynamics promotes open and trusting conversations, as participants felt more at ease discussing sensitive topics without fear of judgment. Also, the neutral interview settings encouraged informants to speak candidly. Her reflexive approach ensures the prioritization of participants’ voices while vigilantly minimizing potential biases. In this aspect, the data were rich and thick. Moreover, transparency and accountability throughout the research process are maintained by, for example, providing transcripts to participants for accuracy verification.

The researcher’s positionality with the informants facilitated thematic-based coding, identifying the research themes. Themes such as SAHHs, wife roles, COVID-19, unemployment, traditional masculinities, and changing roles emerged, highlighting the cultural specificity influencing SAHHs’ decisions. Ethical considerations included informed consent, confidentiality through pseudonyms, and anonymity, with participants reviewing interview translations and receiving a complimentary article copy upon publication. Data security was ensured through encryption, restricted access, and ethics board approval, adhering to established guidelines.

The researcher coded the interview data according to the themes that emerged. For example, how they negotiate work and care responsibilities with their primary supporters (particularly, their wives), their emerging patterns of masculinities, the dilemmas encountered, and how SAHHs coped with the difficulties. As qualitative analysis identifies text and images linked by a common idea, thematic coding enables researchers to index text into categories and establish a framework of related thematic ideas (Gibbs, 2007). The substantive portions of the interviews were translated for their relevance to the themes. These patterns of masculinities challenge traditional gender roles and highlight the importance of emotional labor, communication, and active involvement in child-rearing. Pseudonyms are used throughout to protect the anonymity of the informants.

Results

Redefinition of Masculinities and the Formation of Gender-Egalitarian Families

The SAHHs unanimously agreed that they became SAHHs due to the flexibility it offered, which coincided with the wives’ greater earning potential and stable employment. This reflects a societal trend where women with higher salaries and heightened career salience keep their role when circumstances dictate one parent must remain in the home to offset the high cost of daycare services (Fischer & Anderson, 2012). Consequently, pragmatic economic considerations are central to the decision of becoming an SAHH. This phenomenon illustrates that emerging forms of masculinities are characterized by an acceptance of relatively equal status and role-sharing between SAHHs and their wives. In fact, 21 of the 31 SAHHs interviewed highlighted their wives’ higher pay and more stable job conditions as decisive factors in their role transition. By embedding societal context and economic reasoning within their personal narratives, the SAHHs’ experiences reflect broader shifts in traditional gender roles.

For example, Ming (37) has been working as a full-time dad for several months; he illuminates how economic imperatives and evolving gender dynamics converge to shape family decision-making, offering insights into the complexities of modern parenting roles:

I decided to take a short break and stay at home since my wife has a stable job as a secondary school teacher. Because COVID-19 slowed everything down in Hong Kong, I could cherish my time more and happily spent it all with my daughter.

Another SAHH, Dennis (39), is a freelance swimming coach. He and his wife decided on the best division of labor for the family, as economic considerations are central to the decision of becoming an SAHH:

Masculinities are not about how I look or how I feel; it is about the commitment to care for my family. My wife’s job was stable, so I decided to become a SAHH. This does not make me weak or less masculine. It is a responsibility and sacrifice I willingly make to ensure our family runs smoothly. The positive changes we have experienced are truly astounding. My wife does not view me as a kept man or look down on me. She respects and appreciates the role I have taken.

Dennis (39) was representative of the SAHHs trying to interpret these emerging forms of masculinities. Masculinities are a temperament and disposition to accept the responsibility to make the family function well. Another wife, Kelly (36), echoed Dennis’ perspective regarding masculinities. She said it made her husband more physically appealing:

A man who can cook is sexy and manly. In my mind, this is truly masculine. My husband’s dedication to our family, managing the household, changing diapers, cleaning, and preparing meals, is both manly and endearing. I am happy that he manages our home and makes his sacrifice for our family. Therefore, our kids are raised in a healthy family. He not perfect, but that’s okay; he has a different sense of fashion and cannot help our daughter buy clothes. He only chooses clothes which are black, grey, or white . . . I think girls should be more colorful and stylish. Also, when he washes dishes, I still have to help him because the dishes are often still stained . . . . However, these are not big problems. His approach to parenting exudes more personality than mine, fostering open communication and a liberal relationship that strengthens our family unit . . .

Phoebe, 38, has a secure position at a listed company and said she did not have a single criticism about her husband. He has been a stay-at-home parent and caring for their children since 2021. He works as a freelance insurance broker, which offers him flexible hours. Phoebe believes their home has become more stable because her husband is stricter and more disciplined with the children, whereas she tends to be more lenient and inclined to spoil them.

Having her husband take on the primary caregiving role has given Phoebe a new perspective about his strengths:

My husband’s liberal parenting style fosters creativity in our children, despite the resultant chaos. I appreciate this, even as a meticulous person. If I were the primary caregiver, I would likely spoil them. My understanding of masculinity has evolved; my husband’s involvement in household chores and his emotional openness make him more appealing, not less manly. This transition from traditional to modern masculinities has enhanced our communication and mutual understanding.

The transformation of masculinities in Hong Kong signifies a profound cultural shift, particularly in the context of gender-egalitarian families. Husbands tend to emphasize the importance of communication and negotiation to determine what is best for their family in an environment of equality and respect. This approach aligns with contemporary interpretations of masculinity, which, according to Lee and Lee (2018), emphasize the maintenance of family unit functionality over adherence to traditional attributes historically associated with manliness. Wives have observed that a husband’s liberal parenting style fosters creativity in children, thereby challenging conventional masculine stereotypes and enhancing family stability. The nurturing dimensions of fatherhood, coupled with this emerging paradigm of masculinity, embody attributes of robustness and maturity. This shift suggests a broader societal transition where masculinity is increasingly defined by personal temperament, disposition, and a commitment to family well-being rather than fixed gender roles. This paradigm shift challenges traditional norms and opens new avenues for comprehending gender dynamics in modern society.

Support from the Breadwinner Wives

A key factor helping the men become SAHHs was the support of their breadwinner wives. The unwavering support of wives helps catalyze changes in household and kin networks, promoting emerging patterns of masculinities that redefine the traditional provider role and emphasize nurturing and caregiving. For instance, Sara, a 41-year-old tenured professor in higher education, reflects on how she and her husband, who is a swimming coach at a public pool, decided together that he would assume a different role at home. Sara explains,

I am a super nervous mom . . . during COVID-19, I felt apprehensive about my son’s health and hygiene, and I tend to spoil them. Sometimes, one son loses his temper and throws toys, and I do not know what to do. My husband, however, takes charge and stops him from misbehaving. He knows how to deal with our son’s emotions. He seems much better than me at managing our kids. I think Hong Kong should have more men like this.

Katy (41) echoed Sara’s comments. She enjoys her full-time job and is grateful her husband has been an SAHH for 2 years. Being able to negotiate with her husband has helped them get through difficult times. She says,

We both agreed to this arrangement, and even my parents supported us. So, my husband knows how to take care of our kids. During COVID-19, I worked from home for three months. I am so glad my husband could care for the kids while I focused on my Zoom meetings! He used to be an accountant and tends to be patient and detail-oriented. I think I have far less patience. The one thing I’m careful about is not to talk too much about my income. I think that is still a bit sensitive for him, and I do not want to hurt his self-esteem or bruise his ego.

Another interviewee, Joyce (36), is a financial analyst at a local bank. Joyce supports her husband and adopts a liberal role for him to take care of their sons. She reiterated the importance of communication with her husband to share the domestic chores and take care of their children. Their two sons enjoy spending time with her husband and behave well around him:

My job is very demanding. However, no matter how busy I am, I make sure I am home by 7:30 p.m. My two sons go to bed at 8:00 p.m., and I read them bedtime stories each night. Then, I can have dinner and finish work things afterward. This is the only thing I can do to be a “good mother.” I spend time with our kids after work and during weekends. However, I do not say I am superior or that my husband’s role is inferior. I take care of my kids when I am free during weekends. We are on the same team. My husband takes care of things in my absence, and I take care of the kids when I am there.

In exploring the dynamics of atypical gender-role families, one key observation is the emphasis placed on open communication and negotiation between partners. This approach helps mitigate conflicts and fosters a harmonious home environment. Connie (34) illustrates this dynamic with an example of how she and her husband navigate important decisions:

I am more than happy to take care of the kids with my husband on weekends. When we have to make a big decision, like whether to renovate our flat, we sit down and weigh the pros and cons together. If we can’t agree, sometimes I’ll let him make the final call because I trust his judgment. This is how it works to build our strong team. I do not think I am his boss . . . and he is not my servant! We had fights at the very beginning over things like keeping the house clean and maintaining hygiene. However, this is also a learning process, and we must both be patient and understanding . . .

The dynamics within atypical gender-role families often demonstrate a strong sense of mutual support and equality between partners. Interviewees consistently reported satisfaction with this balance, highlighting that the sense of equality is a core strength of their familial relationships. Crucially, despite the non-traditional arrangement where wives may be the primary breadwinners, the husbands say they do not feel subordinate. Instead, they perceive themselves as equal partners in decision-making processes. Daniel (43), for example, was laid off from his position as a hotel manager. As an SAHH, he went to pick up his 8-year-old son from school, a routine task that brought unexpected difficulties:

When I first went to pick up my son from his primary school, I thought I was the only man there. It is not easy to talk to the mothers and get information. Later, I was able to meet other men on some father-led playgroups from WhatsApp or Facebook. Being able to interact with men in my situation has helped me to “unwind.” I don’t feel inferior being a stay-at-home husband; it’s more like a new learning adventure for me. The best part is having my wife’s support. She respects all the decisions I make at home and doesn’t pressure me. It’s definitely different from my previous job, but I see it as a new take on masculinities. Her support really makes everything feel more solid and meaningful.

Larry (43), much like Daniel, navigates the complexities of societal perceptions and familial expectations as an SAHH. With two children, Larry has faced persistent criticism from his mother-in-law, who struggles to accept the reversal of traditional parental roles. Her negative attitudes and sarcastic remarks often undermine his position in the family, referring to him dismissively as a “kept man,” implying financial dependency on his wife and questioning his societal contribution:

My classmates were all successful businessmen and professionals—some had already earned enough money to retire. They bragged about their new cars, clothes, smartphones, and audio equipment. But I am proud of my role in caring for my son and daughter. I prepare their meals, help them get dressed, drive them to and from school, prepare dinner, and more. I feel fulfilled and inspired knowing I am also a real man. It is the best decision for my family. Thus, I will keep reminding myself and turn a deaf ear to others especially my mother-in-law called me a “kept man.”

SAHHs experience transformation in masculinities, reshaping gender relations within households and kin networks. As SAHHs navigate evolving roles, wives’ emotional support is crucial for managing societal pressures and affirming their undervalued domestic contributions. The experience from SAHHs reflects the broader theme of internal family dynamics juxtaposed with external societal pressures. The wives’ support actively works to address the conflict and fosters understanding and respect for their unconventional arrangement. This backing, alongside respect and open communication, boosts self-esteem and enables expression of concerns. Shared responsibilities prevent burnout and emphasize teamwork. When wives are primary breadwinners, financial awareness strengthens family bonds. Ultimately, the practice of negotiation and communication fosters familial harmony, illustrating how modern families thrive amid changing norms by balancing mutual understanding and evolved roles.

Emerging and Evolving Masculinities

The SAHHs’ dedication to caregiving and household duties illustrates a proactive redefinition of masculinities, leading to the establishment of gender-egalitarian families. Many SAHHs initially hesitated or refused to embrace these roles, often due to unexpected job shifts such as being released, furloughed, or moved into flexible, fractional, or temporary positions. However, through open and honest negotiations with their wives, they gradually recognized that this shift benefited their families. For instance, Stephen (45), a former Hong Kong-based pilot, faced furlough and eventual layoff during COVID-19. Initially reluctant to become an SAHH, Stephen, like his peers, found that embracing this role was a practical decision for family unity and stability. This transition illustrates the broader theme of adaptation within modern families: renegotiating traditional gender roles in response to changing circumstances:

To be frank, it was quite a struggle at first. Should I really do this? What will people think about me? My dignity was hurt, but in reality, I had no alternative. What could I do except be a pilot? It was impossible to look for a job during COVID-19 as many airlines furloughed staff. I could not even be a bus driver as I was too old for their training program.

The hotel and catering services industry had no choice but to layoff or furlough large numbers of staff during the COVID-19 era in Hong Kong. Samuel (48) was an SAHH off-and-on during the pandemic and was eventually laid off. He actively challenges conventional notions of masculinity and contributes to more balanced familial structures. This decision sparked a profound change in Samuel’s family dynamics. His relationship with his elder daughter, once marked by distance, grew closer as she began to call out for him, seeking his presence and support. His experience illustrates the broader theme of redefining masculinity through nurturing roles, demonstrating how SAHHs actively contribute to forming gender-egalitarian families:

When COVID hit, I was reluctant to be a full-time SAHH. But I lost my job as a flight attendant. I tried being an Uber driver and sought other jobs, but after a while, I found I would rather stay home and take care of my two daughters, who are 8 and 10 years old. I enjoy looking after them and being with them. Domestic helpers can “monitor” your children, but they cannot “nurture” them. Now, I find my relationship with my older daughter has changed; she used to be afraid of me, but now she is constantly calling out for me . . . it is worth it.

All the SAHHs admitted facing internal challenges when transitioning from traditional patriarchal roles to more liberal egalitarian ones. They had to redefine their identities and roles within their families and move away from the conventional breadwinner model. Engaging in full-time caregiving positions them as “gender deviants,” often inviting social backlash and feelings of isolation, as highlighted by Rochlen et al. (2010). Despite these challenges, SAHHs find validation in how others perceive their parenting roles. This external appraisal becomes crucial for affirming their new identities, as noted by Fox et al. (2015). For SAHHs, identification and acceptance within their social circles not only validates their choices but also bolsters their confidence in nurturing roles traditionally reserved for women. By embracing their caregiving responsibilities, SAHHs challenge prescriptive gender roles and contribute to more gender-egalitarian family structures, underscoring their pivotal role in reshaping familial dynamics.

A significant benefit for SAHHs is the increased intimacy and connection they experience with their children. Benny (45) credits time with his children as the most important activity—and benefit—of becoming an SAHH. Benny says,

I like to cuddle and keep my son close to me. This attachment I feel toward my children feels different from my parents. Being masculine can be superficially attached to physical appearance, while being a male homemaker is more about the inner virtues, such as being attentive and family-oriented. Masculinities are more than looks, style, or money. It is about how I help my wife and family and build intimacy with my kids. Even my relationship with my wife is getting better.

The emergence of more liberal forms of masculinities among SAHHs reflects an evolutionary shift across a broad continuum. Initially, many men, including Kam (39), held traditional patriarchal outlooks and attitudes toward their familial roles. By challenging traditional gender norms, Kam contributes to a more equitable society, promoting nurturing and caring masculinities. This transformation not only enhances familial relationships but also fosters a broader societal impact in creating a more balanced and supportive world:

I love being a freelancer and a full-time dad. I love to see both of my kids grow, and companionship is the best gift I can give them. They made me feel strong and mature, and I even learned how to be more patient. In the past, I was self-centered and judgmental. I could not project my feelings onto my kids, so instead, I tried to be a friend to them. I find that approach works best to establish rapport and intimacy with them! Before, I would take annual leave to attend my kids’ activities, but that actually did not give me quality time to get to know them or how they were doing in school . . . Kids grow up so fast, don’t they? Once they outgrow a stage, there is no going back. I think every moment of my kids’ growth is unique and special. I joined a parent’s association WhatsApp group to assist with my children’s virtual learning and extracurricular activities. I really treasure the time I have to watch them grow up!

All the fathers emphasized that fostering strong parent–child relationships is the primary benefit of becoming full-time SAHHs. Their journey from traditional patriarchs to nurturing caregivers marks a significant shift in perceptions of masculinity and what defines a “real man.” Contemporary life challenges, such as unemployment, often necessitate this transition, prompting men to embrace SAHH roles over other alternatives. As they traverse this new landscape, SAHHs increasingly forsake outdated notions of patriarchy and conventional gender roles, embracing traditionally feminine tasks and redefining themselves as primary caregivers. This transformation prompts a re-evaluation of the attributes constituting masculinity. SAHHs come to see nurturing and caregiving as central to genuine masculinity, valuing intimate relationships with their children as much as financial provision. For instance, some SAHHs actively participate in their children’s lives, supporting their virtual learning and responding to health needs. This involvement they describe as making their heart “dance.” In this evolved paradigm, the emergent masculinities like supporting and emotional support are escalating. The reimagining of masculinities centers on establishing close bonds with children, fostering pride and fulfillment in those who choose the SAHH path. Ultimately, their journey reflects a radical redefinition of fatherhood, embodying a more inclusive vision of father, husband, and provider, characterized by adaptability and a hands-on, compassionate approach.

Discussion and Conclusion

The evidence presented indicates that becoming a full-time SAHH is a gendered process, with COVID-19 acting as a catalyst for this transition among some middle-class fathers. Although many were compelled initially by unemployment during COVID-19, the shift in redefining their role was a transformative process. These Hong Kong middle-class men developed more egalitarian views on gender and thus had a greater likelihood of becoming SAHHs. The onset of the global pandemic forced significant changes to the job market, rendering some men’s employment precarious, resulting in layoffs. Despite their reluctance, these men were forced to alter their views to adapt to their new environment. As a former British colony, Hong Kong embodies the hybridization of masculinities and reflects the changing gender dynamics found in SAHHs who are supported by their wives. Through the theoretical lens of hybrid masculinities entwined with emergent masculinities, two major contributions to the literature on masculinities are presented. The insights may be applicable to emerging changes in gender relations across other Asian countries.

Emergent Masculinities—Emerging Reframing Forms of Gender Roles

As traditional gender roles become more fluid, men are increasingly encouraged to explore identities beyond the conventional breadwinner model. This exploration reveals alternative forms of masculinity that challenge dominant norms through the creation of new meanings, practices, and relationships. With support from their breadwinning wives, these emergent masculinities have the potential to redefine gender dynamics. The data indicate more of a reworking or reframing of what were traditional or conventional expectations of family men. SAHHs are reinterpreting masculinities by leveraging traits often associated with them, such as discipline and structure, and bringing them into the context of home management and child care. This reframing aligns with a more modern understanding of gender roles, where nurturing and domestic responsibilities are not confined to women. By bringing their uniquely “male” perspective and traits into caregiving roles, SAHHs demonstrate that masculinities can encompass strength in nurturing and domestic management.

However, that many SAHHs are well-educated adds another dimension to this dynamic. Higher education may contribute to an increased awareness and acceptance of progressive gender roles, although the initial reluctance reflects internalized conflict. This conflict could reflect concerns about societal pressures as well as insecurity about one’s role when no longer being the breadwinner. However, their decision to embrace this role underscores a prioritization of family cohesion and child development over conventional gender expectations. This shift, catalyzed by the COVID-19 pandemic, prompts a nuanced examination of gender roles within Hong Kong’s unique socio-cultural context. Contrary to global trends where women faced greater job losses (Alon et al., 2020), the wives in this study work in resilient sectors like civil service, education, and the health care industry. The increased access to education and career opportunities for women in Hong Kong has shifted traditional gender roles, leading to shared responsibilities at home.

Support from wives is crucial for husbands transitioning into non-traditional roles. Wives of SAHHs, primarily middle-class professional women, provide emotional support that facilitates their husbands’ adjustment. This support substantially mitigates psychological stress associated with breaking societal norms, contributing to the husband’s emotional well-being. The middle-class status and liberal gender-role views of these families create an environment less prone to societal backlash compared to lower-income families, enabling husbands to comfortably take on the role of stay-at-home spouse. This role allows men to find fulfillment in home management and child-rearing, moving beyond traditional self-worth tied to professional achievements. The time spent with their children fosters intimacy and family satisfaction, countering feelings of isolation. Consequently, Hong Kong is tacitly endorsing gender equality, as more men normalize the concept of SAHHs.

Hybrid Masculinities—Blending East and West

The hybridization of masculinities in Chinese culture, particularly within Hong Kong, reflects a transformative response to socio-economic forces, as explored by scholars like Demetriou (2001), Arxer (2011), and Bridges (2014). This concept suggests that traditional masculine identities are not entirely discarded but are transfigured in response to changing social and economic contexts. Specifically, the economic pressures experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic necessitated a re-evaluation of masculine roles, especially for men who became SAHHs. Connell and Messerschmidt (2005) argue that economic forces are catalysts for change, prompting men to renegotiate traditional gender roles and expectations through a complex interweaving of traditional and contemporary masculine practices. Hong Kong is at the epicenter of the confluence between Eastern and Western cultures. The hybridization of masculinities in Hong Kong is further influenced by its colonial past under British rule, which lasted until 1997. British colonial influence introduced Western concepts of masculinities that often contrasted with traditional Chinese patriarchal values, creating a unique blend of masculine identities. During colonial rule, Western ideals spurred cultural and social transformations, impacting gender roles and expectations. Similar to Ireland, Hong Kong experienced a tension between colonial and indigenous identities, with masculinities shaped by both Confucian values of familial hierarchy and Western ideals of individualism and professionalism. The hybridization of masculinities among SAHHs and wives in Hong Kong is reshaping gender dynamics, supported significantly by wives. Influenced by the liberal and egalitarian views inherited from the British colonial era, middle-class SAHHs are experiencing a shift toward more progressive gender roles. Policy changes such as paternity leave further encourage fathers to participate more actively in newborn care, challenging traditional norms (Chung & van der Horst, 2018).

The economic hardships brought on by the pandemic accentuated colonial legacies that perpetuate a dialogue between tradition and modernity. Pandemic-induced shifts in economic roles have challenged entrenched norms, highlighting an adaptive flexibility within familial structures. Men, particularly from the working class with lower to middle levels of education (Kreyenfeld & Zinn, 2021), increased their involvement with family life. This involvement disrupts the traditionally reinforced male breadwinning roles rooted in Confucian values, raising critical questions about the durability of gender norms. As men assume domestic responsibilities, they challenge conventional ideals about masculinities (Tsang, 2019b; Tsang, 2025), marking a profound reworking of “old” masculine identities in response to contemporary socio-economic pressures.

In conclusion, the emergence of masculinities in Hong Kong post-COVID-19 reflects the evolution and reframing of gender identities. Interviews with the middle-class husbands and wives exhibiting hybrid masculinities illustrate the shifts experienced by them in adapting to evolving gender dynamics. Notably, these husbands have not entirely abandoned their traditional masculine identities. Instead, economic circumstances necessitated their transition into roles traditionally viewed as feminine, leaving them with limited choice in the matter. The hybridization of masculinities allows them to retain a sense of masculinity while embracing historically feminine roles. The supportive role of the wife is crucial in preserving the husband’s mental well-being, as it helps alleviate the psychological stress often associated with defying societal norms. These shifts are fostered by the rising number of highly educated women with stable careers who support their husbands to be SAHHs. Middle-class status and liberal viewpoints on gender roles enable SAHHs to navigate challenges with less societal backlash compared to lower-income families.

The paternity leave policy is a good start to promote SAHHs in Hong Kong. First, extending the duration of paternity leave is crucial to allow fathers adequate time to bond with their newborns, which positively impacts child development and family dynamics. In addition, ensuring paid paternity leave can alleviate financial concerns, which appear to be driving the decision to become SAHH. Policies should include flexible leave arrangements, enabling participants to tailor their leave to accommodate diverse family circumstances. Furthermore, awareness campaigns and training programs can educate both employees and employers about the availability and benefits of paternity leave. Promoting cultural change is essential; targeted initiatives can challenge entrenched gender norms and facilitate a more supportive environment for men to take paternity leave. Ultimately, these policy enhancements should be evaluated through metrics such as leave utilization rates and employee satisfaction to assess their effectiveness. By addressing these areas, paternity leave policies can significantly advance gender equity and improve outcomes for families.

The study, however, is constrained by its limited focus on 31 middle-class SAHHs and 19 middle-class wives. Future research should encompass a broader demographic, including varying income levels, and explore urban–rural divides as well as factors such as age, education, religion, and ethnicity. Expanding the scope of research would enable a more nuanced understanding of the experiences of SAHHs and wives across diverse contexts, elucidating the societal trends influencing evolving gender roles and masculinities.

Footnotes

Acknowledgements

I extend my deepest gratitude to the respondents, whose generous dedication of time to share their life stories and experiences about SAHHs during the COVID-19 pandemic has been invaluable. Their contributions form the backbone of this study. Furthermore, I express my sincere appreciation to the editor and reviewers for their candid and invaluable feedback, which has significantly enhanced the quality of this work. I am especially grateful to Dr. Chris KK Tan for reviewing the first draft and providing insightful comments. Special thanks are also due to my editor, Jeff Wilkinson. Any errors or omissions that remain are solely my responsibility.

ORCID iD

Eileen YH Tsang

Ethical Considerations

The ethical review process had been obtained through the City University of Hong Kong, the Public Policy Research Special Round (Project No. 9211216), University Grant Council. The study was approved by the Institutional Review Board of the City University of Hong Kong.

Informed Consent

All participants provided informed consent to participate in the project.

Funding

The author disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This article has been made possible through the support of the Policy Research, Special Round (Project No. 9211216), University Grant Council, Hong Kong SAR.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Data Availability Statement

This article contains sensitive data that must not be shared publicly, as stipulated in the consent forms agreed upon by both the researchers and the participants. The consent forms were signed to ensure restricted access, safeguarding participant privacy and addressing ethical concerns or legal/licensing restrictions. Access to these data is limited to the principal investigator and the research team members.

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