“We’re not only here but we’re there in spirit”: Asymmetrical mobile intimacy and the transnational Filipino family

Introduction

It was Christmas in 2008 when I recorded a video, unedited, a continuous recording of my day . . . I was told [by her sibling who received the video clip and who showed the video to their mother] that my mother cried after she saw it because I’ve been away for so long. Since I arrived here in 2006, I haven’t been home until January 2010 . . . I haven’t seen my family so it was the only source of communication. This is because instead of going back home, I prefer to send the money to them, so they can have food to eat and money to finance their education.

The opening quote shows how an overseas Filipino worker (OFW) in Melbourne, Australia utilises a mobile device to construct a sense of copresence with left-behind family members in the Philippines during Christmas. For a migrant like Rachelle, mobile communication compensates for physical absence in annual and special occasions that are often celebrated through a normative arrangement of physical co-location (Urry, 2012). In Rachelle’s case, as most of the research participants in this study, fast-evolving mobile devices have been predominantly used as an important tool to express intimacy as well as to be simultaneously here and there (Urry, 2000) during a special family event. However, it must be noted that the personal choice of mobile device use is usually a direct result of a decision to divert personal finances to the left-behind loved ones’ needs instead of buying a flight ticket and traveling back home for a family gathering.

As suggested by the example of Rachelle, this paper investigates the ways in which 21 overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) in Melbourne, Australia, and their left-behind family members in the Philippines use broadband-based mobile devices and communications platforms to restage festive family rituals. There have been studies that focus on social rituals in the context of mobile communication (Ling, 2008; Soriano, 2014; Soriano & Lim, 2016). Yet, little research has been conducted to explore how families forge relationships through the performance of secular rituals (Cheal, 1988; Dickstein, 2002; Wolin & Bennett, 1984) using digital communication technologies. The paper addresses such gap by uncovering and examining the personalised and heterogenous practices of the transnational Filipino family in performing intimacy at a distance, paving the way for mediated copresence (Madianou, 2016).

Using the mobilities lens (Urry, 2007) as a framework for investigation, the research project mainly seeks to answer the following questions: How does the use of mobile devices and networked communications platforms shape the performance and experience of family rituals in sustaining long-distance relationships? What are the structural and infrastructural factors that produce, differentiate, and undermine mobile intimacy? And lastly, what does a varying quality of intimacy from a distance indicate about the mobilisation of transnational relationships in a networked society? In addressing these enquiries, I employ qualitative methods such as in-depth interviews (Creswell, 2013; Lindlof & Taylor, 2002) and photo elicitation as a visual method (Emmison & Smith, 2000).

A compare and contrast approach is mainly deployed to unravel the benefits and burdens of intimate transnational communication. This method contributes to reevaluate the ways in which intimacy at a distance is expressed, performed, and negotiated. Hence, the study coins the term “asymmetrical mobile intimacy,” articulating the diverse and often contradictory experiences of intimacy at a distance. The study also reveals the different tactics to manage tensions and ambivalent feelings enabled by mobile device use in enacting family rituals. Nevertheless, I contend that it is by determining and critically analysing the unevenness of mobile communication that this paper may shed light on the inequalities that exist and yet are often overlooked in a mobile society.

Family rituals and uneven network capital

Wolin and Bennett (1984) identify three categories of rituals in the family: (a) Family celebrations that are standardised in cultures and may act as rites of passage such as weddings and baptisms; (b) family traditions or rituals that are organised within the family such as birthdays, anniversaries, and parties, and; (c) family interactions or ritualised activities that are less consciously planned such as regular dinner time, bedtime routines, or leisure activities on weekends. These ritual patterns forge cohesion among families (Wolin & Bennett, 1984) and reinforce emotional attachment (Cheal, 1988). In the Philippine context, family celebrations that are kin-oriented strengthen family ties and relationships (Lopez, 2006). These family traditions are usually performed, experienced, and embodied through physical co-location of family members. It is through family gatherings that each family member, as well as relatives and friends, dine together, exchange gifts, exchange stories, and express affection through physical contact. However, this has not always been the case among families across the globe as various factors have gradually reshaped annual congregations. For instance, situations such as deaths, illnesses, traumatic events in the family, or transnational migration disrupt family traditions (Wolin & Bennett, 1984). This, in turn, produces “interrupted rituals” or family rituals that are unable to be experienced by physically copresent family members (Wolin & Bennett, 1984).

However, recent advances in transport and communication technologies have increasingly helped reconstructing the setting and dynamics of “interrupted rituals.” For example, in the context of separated family members across Western countries, different travel options facilitate physical copresence in events such as weddings, christenings, Christmas celebrations, and family reunions (Urry, 2002). Notably, in this case, corporeal travel often requires sufficient resources such as money and time (Urry, 2002). But despite the cost, some family members opt to travel and temporarily reunite with their loved ones to fulfil family obligations (Urry, 2007, 2012). Nevertheless, migrant persons often attend annual and sporadic family occasions because copresent meetings are considered obligatory to foster family relationships (Urry, 2007).

As corporeal movement is resource-based, the capacity to physically reconnect with loved ones in the home country and experience festivities is a rare among migrants. This has been the case of the research participants in this study, who are part of the 2.2 million Filipinos who work abroad (Philippine Overseas Employment Administration [POEA], 2015). Due to the scarcity of resources, migrants opt to stay in their host country and use mobile devices to compensate for physically missing celebrations. In this case, mobile communication affords them “virtual travel” (Urry, 2007). For instance, mobile device use gives a feeling of copresence among family members despite physical absence from intimate and joyous festivities (Madianou & Miller, 2011, 2012). This communicative capacity to perform family rituals has been portrayed in promotional advertisements of a major television network in the Philippines (Cabalquinto, 2014).

However, while transnational communication provides emotional connectedness, we must not lose sight that it is forged and destabilised by various factors. The appropriation of mobile devices is often engendered and constrained by technological affordances (Madianou & Miller, 2012) alongside social structures (Keightley & Reading, 2014; Lim, 2016; Ling & Horst, 2011; Madianou & Miller, 2012; Parreñas, 2005b). As a result, migrants constantly negotiate transnational arrangements and deploy strategies to manage problems, tensions, and adverse feelings in long-distance relationships (Chib, Malik, Aricat, & Kadir, 2014; Lim, 2016; Madianou & Miller, 2011). To explore the complexity of mobile communication at a distance, I employ the mobilities lens proposed by British sociologist John Urry (2007).

Rethinking the transformation and dynamics of the social world in the 21st century, Urry (2007) argues that social life has been organised and performed across space and over time through different forms of mobility. Corporeal and noncorporeal movements are pivotal in the “mobile lives” of “mobile subjects” (Adey, Bissell, Hannam, Merriman, & Sheller, 2013; Cresswell, 2006; Keightley & Reading, 2014; Urry, 2007) such as migrants (Urry, 2007). He goes on to explain that individuals’ movement is facilitated by interdependent mobility systems. These systems allow individuals to coordinate, schedule, reschedule, and negotiate copresent interactions (Urry, 2007). Urry (2007) emphasises that mobility is facilitated by “network capital,” that is, a communications-driven and information-based capital used to sustain nonproximate relationships. Network capital involves access to people, objects, secure environments, mobility systems, and an array of resources such as time and finances (Urry, 2007).

Elliott and Urry (2010) argue that network capital is unevenly distributed. For them, the capacity to move by exploiting an array of digital communication technologies and platforms is “structured by gender, age, ethnicity, dis/ability and social class” (Elliott & Urry, 2010, p. 47). Thus, resource-dependent mobilities are differentially accessed (Cresswell, 2010; Elliott & Urry, 2010; Sheller & Urry, 2006; Urry, 2007). Keightley and Reading (2014), extending the focus of the mobilities framework in the context of media and communications, argue that interconnected structural forces—social conditions, economic landscape, culture, and politics—influence mediated mobilities or the use of mobile devices on the move. For them, the outcome of such structured mediated mobilities is often negotiated.

Mobile intimacy at a distance

The mobile phone is considered an everyday-life “intimate object” (Fortunati, 2002; Lasén, 2004). In the context of intense mobilities, Elliott and Urry (2010) consider mobile devices as main tools that activate “mobile intimacy,” which “involves routine, ongoing, mundane and continual communicational orderings of relationships and family life” (p. 101). This study takes into account how mobile intimacy is shaped by the increasing ubiquity of smartphones and integrated communications platforms as a form of “global mobile media” (Goggin, 2011). In the age of mobile media, “personalisation practices” (Hjorth, 2011) produce mobile intimacy or the overlay of the social and emotional with the geographic and digital (Hjorth, 2012). Hjorth (2011) also emphasises that such customised use of mobile devices is informed by local, vernacular, and gendered practices.

In the context of Philippine transnational communication, the mobile practices of the transnational Filipino family (Cabañes & Acedera, 2012; Francisco, 2015; Madianou, 2014; Madianou & Miller, 2011, 2012; Parreñas, 2005b, 2014; San Pascual, 2014a, 2014b, 2016; Uy-Tioco, 2007) essentially demonstrate mobile intimacy. These mediated practices pave the way for “absent presence” (Parreñas, 2005a; Pertierra, 2005). This paper thus advances the discussions on the formation of intimacy at a distance by investigating how transnational families use mobile media to enable intimacy by restaging family rituals. Importantly, more than solely illuminating the unique and customised practices of transnational families in enacting rituals, the article looks into the different structural factors that produce asymmetrical communication (Lim, 2016; Madianou & Miller, 2012). It is by doing so that the article contributes to the reconceptualisation of “the symbolic and material ways in which inequalities are played out within postmodernity” (Goggin & Hjorth, 2009, p. 7).

This study builds on previous studies that have identified an array of structural factors that engender and impede intimate communication. One of the prominent causes of asymmetrical communication is a strict and stable gender ideology (Cabañes & Acedera, 2012; Francisco, 2015; Ling & Horst, 2011; Madianou, 2012, 2014, 2016; Madianou & Miller, 2011, 2013; Parreñas, 2001a, 2005b, 2014; San Pascual, 2014b, 2016; Uy-Tioco, 2007). Additionally, transnational mobile communication is affected by different factors. A few examples are the different levels of technological infrastructure development between urban and rural areas in the Philippines (Parreñas, 2005b), the lack of sufficient financial resources among transnational families (Baldassar, 2008; Horst, 2006; Madianou & Miller, 2011, 2012; Parreñas, 2005b; Wilding, 2006), the lack of access to digital communication technologies, and the inability to take full advantage of mobile devices’s functionalities due to low level of skills and literacy (Baldassar, 2008; Madianou, 2012; Madianou & Miller, 2012). As a result, a minimal communication or one-sided communication occurs (Parreñas, 2014; Wilding, 2006). Nevertheless, by uncovering the disparities in transnational communication, this paper sides with previous studies that counter the celebratory rhetoric of the Philippine government and telecommunication companies in the Philippines that promote the use of mobile device to soften the pains of family separation (Cabañes & Acedera, 2012; Madianou & Miller, 2011; Paragas, 2009).

An important aspect of this paper is that it also considers mobile communication technologies as key instruments to negotiate long-distance relationships. The proposition builds on existing studies that have showcased how migrants use mobile devices in negotiating family separation (Chib et al., 2014; Francisco, 2015; Hondagneu-Sotelo & Avila, 1997; Madianou & Miller, 2011, 2012; Parreñas, 2001a, 2005b). Mobile devices are used to deploy communicative tactics and maintain an intimate connection. For example, some migrants suppress their emotions or hide information to avoid worrying their left-behind family members about their actual living conditions (Baldassar, 2008; Cheong & Mitchell, 2016; Chib et al., 2014; Madianou & Miller, 2012). Indeed, as Madianou and Miller (2011) point out, mobile phones are used to deal with the challenges and ambivalent feelings that arise in the context of a transnational family life. By building upon such lens, this study showcases the ways in which transnational families use strategies to perform and negotiate festive rituals despite the distance.

Methods of investigation

This paper is part of a larger research project that investigates the mobile device use of OFWs in Melbourne, Australia, and their left-behind family members in the Philippines. Twenty-one OFWs ¹ or Temporary Migrant (Skilled) or Subclass Visa 457 holders—who are considered temporary migrants by the Philippine Embassy in Canberra—and their left-behind family members in the Philippines are the primary research participants of the present study. Subclass Visa 457 holders were chosen because of their transnational living arrangements and prolonged separation from their immediate left-behind family members. As their visa offers limited benefits, including a lack of access to Medicare and social welfare benefits in Australia, they often opt to temporarily leave their family behind in the Philippines and wait until they obtain permanent residency or citizenship to bring their family to Australia. They also save money to cover their family members’ visa fees.

This paper seeks to understand how mobile intimacy contributes to the reconstruction of festive family rituals. Two major qualitative methods were used to generate data: semistructured in-depth interviews (Creswell, 2013; Lindlof & Taylor, 2002) and photo elicitation as a visual method (Emmison & Smith, 2000). The research participants were asked about various topics such as communication platforms used to restage family rituals, motivations, limitations, and so forth. The photos were used as prompts during interviews, supporting the discussion on the benefits and constraints of mobile device use in enacting intimate transnational communication.

Data collection was conducted during a 6-month period: from December 2013 to April 2014 in Melbourne, and in May and June 2014 in the Philippines. It included 12 people: six single and six married OFWs in Melbourne. They were recruited through snowball sampling (Lindlof & Taylor, 2002). The study also engaged nine left-behind family members. They were referred to me by their OFW family member. The participants in Melbourne and the Philippines ranged from 26 to 74 years old. Levels of education ranged from high school, vocational, to postgraduate qualifications. One respondent in the Philippines was unemployed and the rest had different jobs. I use pseudonyms to protect the anonymity of the participants.

The interviews lasted between 45 minutes to over an hour. An estimate of 15 to 20 minutes was used to let the research participant talk about the photos they were shown. Most of the interviews were conducted in Tagalog. However, a few research participants spoke Tagalog and Taglish (Tagalog-English). All the interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and qualitatively analysed. The photos were also coded and examined. Only the quotations used in this paper were translated to English.

Ways of making it extra special: Asymmetrical mobile intimacy

The research participants of this study use mobile devices and an array of multimedia-based communications platforms such as messaging applications, Skype, Facebook, and mobile applications. They consider these broadband-based platforms as relatively cheap and interactive. By comparing and contrasting their mobile practices, the findings show that individuals’ capacity to communicate at a distance is informed by age, gender, and social class, producing asymmetrical mobile intimacy in enabling family celebrations.

Age is one of the main factors that influence mobile device use. I observed that young professional migrants between 26 and early 30s and their younger siblings are adept in accessing and using interconnected multimedia-based platforms to express intimacy among loved ones and reclaim a festive feeling of celebrations. They often use mobile devices to “microcoordinate” a series of tasks (Ling, 2004) beyond borders to, for example, create birthday greetings for their loved ones. A case in point is Gerry, a 32-year-old customer service representative in Singapore and his siblings Aimee, a 27-year-old education consultant in Melbourne Australia, and Christine, who is based in Abu Dhabi.

During the conduction of the interviews, Gerry talked about how he coordinated with his siblings spread across the globe to produce a birthday greeting for their mother, Yvette, a 58-year-old businesswoman based in the Philippines. With the help of a mobile phone application and Facebook messenger, Gerry and his siblings produced a very customised collage for their mother (see Figure 1). The collage had photos of him and his siblings. Gerry revealed in the interview that he “forced” his siblings to work with him on the “project.” He assigned them to take a photo of themselves. The photos were included in the collage alongside the words “Happy,” “Birthday,” “Mama,” and “Yvette.” In addition to personalised photos, decorative graphics including a gift box, balloons, and flowers, were added alongside an intimate text, “Love u Mama.” There were also images of the flags of Australia, Singapore, Dubai, and the Philippines, indicating the geographic location of the members of the family. A photo of Yvette was placed in the middle of the collage. The photo was eventually uploaded to Yvette’s Facebook page and every member of the family was tagged.

OPEN IN VIEWER

Figure 1.

Photo collage made by Gerry and his siblings.

For Gerry and his siblings, the photo collage was used to express love for their mother. It was also used to be “present” during a celebration. As he points out, “We’re not only here but we’re also there in spirit.” Yvette, whom I had the chance to interview, emphasised how she appreciated the gesture, “For me, gifts are not important. It is better to be greeted. That’s valuable for me. Since we live apart, what they did during my birthday, I’m happy with that.”

In contrast, for those who are not adept in utilising mobile applications to produce a creative birthday greeting for a loved one, less complex communication platforms such as text messaging, overseas call, or Skype are used. Migrants often use text messages to coordinate, schedule, and initiate phone calls or Skype sessions. An example of this is Efren, a 38-year-old chef in Melbourne, who talked about how he usually greeted his left-behind children on their birthdays, “At first, I will text them. I will greet them happy birthday. Then if I know that they’re already awake, I will call them, I will have a chit chat with them. I also Skype with them.”

Older research participants reported they sought assistance from their local kin when they wanted to use a multimedia-based platform. A previous study by Wilding (2006) has shown how local children assist their grandparents in sending, receiving, and printing online content. In this study, local grandchildren, who are usually more adept in using multimedia-based platforms, support their grandmothers in producing creative projects for overseas children. For instance, Yvette, a 58-year-old businesswoman, sought the help of her granddaughter to produce a video with a mobile application. A video, containing a montage of Yvette’s children’s old photos was produced and uploaded on Facebook. For Yvette, it provided a way to be “present” and make her two children—Gerry and Christine—feel special on their birthdays. During the interview, Yvette recalled that the photo elicited reactions from her children, “They said on Facebook, ‘it’s funny!’ ‘Is that me?’ ‘Oh my, I look ugly!’ and ‘I used to be beautiful.’” And when I asked Yvette about her feelings about the outcome of her surprise greeting, she excitedly said, “I’m happy.”

Mobile intimacy is also shaped by gender norms (Ling & Horst, 2011; Madianou & Miller, 2012; Parreñas, 2001a, 2005b; Uy-Tioco, 2007). This is evident in the ways in which research participants use Facebook to create intimacy at a distance and mediated copresence during a family festivity. Tagging on Facebook becomes a way for a left-behind wife to include her overseas husband in a festivity. For example, Abby consistently tags her husband Efren with their children’s pictures on Facebook. For Abby, such gesture becomes a means for her to make Efren feel part of family celebrations. The gesture also shows how care and love are conveyed at a distance, enabling a sense of togetherness during special occasions. As she highlights the value of tagging, “It’s not in all occasion that he is available.” This statement reflects the reassurance that the overseas loved one remains involved in all family celebrations. Based on the findings, I contend that mobile intimacy reinforces the nurturing role of women (Medina, 2001) in enacting festive family rituals.

During my fieldwork in Melbourne, three overseas fathers shared their excitement when they were tagged by their wives in the graduation photos of their children. These fathers felt very proud of their children’s achievement. As Joey, a 34-year-old industrial painter, says, “At least, for the first time, someone graduated in the family.” As these fathers were physically absent during the ceremony, they compensated their absence by congratulating their children by calling them and sending money to their wives to buy gifts for them. I argue that the latter point exemplifies the provider role of the father (Medina, 2001) in a transnational family. Notably, the child’s graduation becomes the father’s pride. It serves as a symbolic “trophy” that reflects the father’s full capacity to finance his children’s education. This thereby gives him the image of a “good provider” in Philippine society (Medina, 2001; Parreñas, 2008).

In some cases, the disciplinarian role of the overseas father (Medina, 2001; Parreñas, 2008) manifests while communicating, for example, via Skype during family celebrations. A case in point is Roel, a 47-year-old panel beater in Melbourne, who used Skype to connect with his left-behind family members in the Philippines during New Year’s Eve. At that time, Roel could saw what was happening at home as his wife carried a laptop while moving throughout the house. Evidently, it gave him the opportunity to see the food prepared for the festivity, as well as to look closely into what his children were doing. During that time, his authoritative role as a father in the family surfaced. He shared during the interview what he told his wife, “Then I said, don’t let the children go out because of the fireworks outside. You know what it’s like in the Philippines.”

Social class also serves as an important factor that shapes mobile intimacy among transnational families. It informs an individual’s technical competency in using mobile devices (Baldassar, 2008; Madianou & Miller, 2012). As shown in the previous vignettes, middle-class and educated transnational Filipino people enjoy multimedia-based platforms. By contrast, research participants from a poor socioeconomic background have a limited capacity to achieve intimacy at a distance. An example of this is Marie, a 59-year-old university cleaner. Marie’s highest educational attainment is high school. Growing up in the Philippines, she opted to leave school so she could work and help her widowed father in financing the education of her six siblings. Marie has now been based in Australia for more than 18 years, yet she continuously supports her family economically.

Despite owning a smartphone, Marie’s lack of knowledge to use its numerous functionalities limits her capacity to enjoy a multimedia experience. Most of the time, she simply uses her smartphone to engage in longer talks with her 49-year-old sister Mina. Her sister, who is unemployed, is not proficient in the use of smartphones either. Hence, the smartphone functions as a basic phone that is used for voice calls and text messaging. During family celebrations, Marie always calls her loved ones and coordinates the transfer of money to them and the shipping of balikbayan (returnee) boxes. This is a common practice among migrants to sustain long-distance relationships (Hondagneu-Sotelo & Avila, 1997; Horst, 2006; Madianou & Miller, 2011; McKay, 2007; Parreñas, 2001a, 2005b; Uy-Tioco, 2007). As Marie notes, “All they need is money.” Nevertheless, mobile devices become a channel to connect with left-behind loved ones and experience family celebrations:

I ask them what’s their food then I will tell them to prepare food. For example, there’s a program in the school for the children, I will ask them if they need new shoes. If they say yes, I send money. They basically tell me who needs what. Then I will send money and ask them to buy what they need.

Based on the findings of this research, different factors produce asymmetrical mobile intimacy thereby generating uneven levels of quality in reconstructing family events. Echoing the argument of Parreñas (2014), I contend that the lack of competency to enjoy multimedia-based and sequential interactions does not necessarily mean a lack of intimate engagement. It has been shown that emotional connectedness can be achieved despite disparity of accessing and using mobile devices. However, in the following section, I present some of the communicative tensions and negotiations that arise in the context of transnational communication.

Mobility burden in time of celebration

Despite the connectivity gained from using mobile devices, transnational families experience communicative burdens. Intimate transnational communication is experienced with contradictory feelings due to technological asymmetries and parameters. Hence, communicative challenges are addressed with different strategies and constant negotiation.

First, the disparity of technological infrastructures undermines transnational intimacy. The lack of access to the Internet (Madianou, 2012) is no longer the only factor that creates asymmetrical communication. This study found that the quality of broadband connection often disrupts transnational exchanges. For instance, Joey, who is based in Melbourne, talked about his experience using Skype during Christmas Eve: “Sometimes it’s unclear . . . Of course the conversation is interrupted. The camera froze. Then suddenly it’s disconnected.”

An unreliable broadband connection can also provoke frustrations to some left-behind family members, for instance, while trying to upload photos on Facebook. This is the case of Cherry and her daughter in the Philippines. In one occasion, Cherry and her family attended a school event. Cherry took many photos using her iPad. The moment Cherry and her daughter arrived home, Cherry asked her daughter to upload the photos on Facebook; this is her way to include her overseas husband Joey in the school event. In Cherry’s family, the eldest daughter has always been designated to upload photographs on Facebook; this is not a problem as her daughter agrees to do the task. However, the slow Internet connection speed in the Philippines sometimes frustrates her daughter. As Cherry shares, “If the connection is slow, she’ll get frustrated. Then she’ll disappointingly say, ‘I’ll just do it tomorrow!’”

By examining both examples, I argue that the existence of tensions in using mobile devices is not surprising especially given the asymmetries of Internet connection speed between Australia and the Philippines. On the one hand, in the first quarter of 2017, the average Philippine Internet connection speed was 5.5 Mbps with peaks at 45 Mbps, placing the Philippines in the 100th place in the Internet speed global rankings (Akamai, 2017). On the other hand, the average Australian Internet connection speed was reported at 11.1 Mbps and with peaks at 55.7 Mbps, placing the country in the 50th place in global rankings (Akamai, 2017).

As a form of negotiation, transnational family members deploy strategies to deal with the poor broadband connection in the Philippines most especially during highly congested times such as Christmas or New Year’s Eve celebrations. Some OFWs contact their left-behind family members at an earlier time. As Gerry notes, “I try to contact them a little bit early because the connection to use Skype can get messy and sometimes poor. So we usually do it around 7 in the evening.” In some cases, OFWs patiently deal with the low-quality Internet connection. As Joey reiterates, “We just have to be patient.”

Lastly, echoing the work of Madianou (2012), migrants also feel ambivalent in the context of missing family celebrations. Similar to the findings of Parreñas (2001a), an expensive ticket is a major reason not to travel back home. Roel, a 47-year-old panel beater, comments, “Of course I miss the Philippines. I want to go home. If only the ticket was not AUD$2,200, I would go home.” Given the circumstances, mobile devices are heavily relied on. However, the parameters of digital communication technologies also remind transnational families of separation (Madianou & Miller, 2012; Wilding, 2006). Despite the capacity of multimedia communication to convey a level of realism in capturing social cues—gestures, voice, facial reactions, and so forth—through photos and videos, distance is felt because mobile device use cannot replicate physical togetherness (Madianou & Miller, 2012).

A case in point is Vic, a 45-year-old fridge repairman in Melbourne. Vic has been in Melbourne for 7 years. For the past years, he has never skipped going back to the Philippines in December. For him, being with his family is an obligation (Urry, 2007, 2012). However, in 2012, he was left with no choice but to stay in Melbourne due to his work commitments. To compensate for his absence, he used Skype to communicate with his family during Christmas Eve. Although he was live streaming with his family that night, such arrangement only made him feel homesick. I asked him why and he said that he could not hug his family. Thus, Vic’s frustrations resonate with Efren’s:

I’m happy that I can give what they want. Whatever they wish, I can provide. When my son got an award during graduation, I asked him [using a mobile device] what he wanted. It’s also sad that I am not there. At the same time, they also feel sad because I am not there.

Transnational families continue to use mobile devices to sustain relationships. However, to cope with bittersweet feelings, research participants suppress their emotions and focus on the importance of the purposes and sacrifices behind their separated living conditions: “It would be better if he [referring to Joey] were here [during the graduation of the boy]. But we can’t be emotional because that’s how it goes. Everything has a purpose” (Cherry, 45, accountant in the Philippines). Another participant expressed “I don’t want to go home during Christmas. It’s costly. I would rather endure the situation [referring to having to use of mobile device] rather than spend money. There are so many good plans that should be made” (Joey, 34, industrial painter in Melbourne).

Conclusion: A mobile life on a bumpy lane

I have presented the ways in which the use of mobile devices facilitates unique ways of expressing and experiencing mobile intimacy in restaging family rituals, thereby constructing copresence among fragmented families. While digital communication technologies have become taken-for-granted (Ling, 2012) apparatuses in the lives of transnational families, I concur with Lim (2016) in that diverse and unequal mobile communication should not be overlooked. Evidently, uneven levels of network capital as informed by age, gender, and social class produce asymmetrical mobile intimacy. I contend that differences should not be taken as determinants of a satisfactory experience of mobile intimacy. Rather, diverse mobile practices should be considered to explore how mobile intimacy contributes in rebuilding “interrupted rituals” (Wolin & Bennett, 1984).

However, I would like to emphasise the need to pay close attention to the broader forces that perpetuate the marginalisation of those who are already in a vulnerable position in the global economy (Parreñas, 2001b, 2001c, 2003; San Juan, 2009). First, an unreliable broadband connection produces the kind of “mobile lives” (Urry, 2007) that are filled with frustrations and constant negotiations. As such, it represents these individuals’ movement through the slow lanes of a networked society (Hannam, Sheller, & Urry, 2006; Sheller & Urry, 2006). Second, we must not forget that mobile device use among transnational families is a form of “coerced mobility” (Urry, 2007). Due to insufficient resources for corporeal travel, migrants have no choice but to use an array of digital platforms to compensate for physical absence during family events that are normally celebrated through their physical co-location. As Urry (2007) cautions, “where movement is coerced it may generate social deprivation and exclusion” (p. 9). Indeed, the contradictory experiences of the transnational Filipino family signify exclusion from a society in which families can fully enjoy joyful and seamless family rituals. I encourage future research on transnational communication to focus on the elements of uneven mobile connectivity to unearth other interconnected forces that perpetuate inequalities in the age of smartphones. It is by doing so that the often precarious and volatile conditions of those with low levels of network capital will not be rendered invisible in a globalising society that privileges a fast, multimedia-based, and resource-rich mobility.