Abstract
This study utilized a two-tiered, thematic and structural narrative analysis to understand the ways transgender, gender non-conforming (TGNC) athletes story their experiences of sport. All participants (N = 20) self-identified as TGNC and as athletes. A thematic narrative analysis of semi-structured interviews revealed several convergent narratives (i.e., gender sanctioning, binary gender survival, gender transition and disclosure, and gender affirming) within TGNC athlete stories. A secondary structural analysis of evaluation statements in each story offered insight into what master narratives within sport are (re)producing binary gender structures and as a result excluding non-binary athletes from participation and inclusion. The structural analysis also uncovered counter narratives within TGNC athlete stories that challenged the binarized structures of sport. Theoretical and practical implications are discussed in relation to how master narratives might be altered to foster gender inclusion beyond the binary.
Introduction
There is a dearth of studies on transgender, gender non-conforming (TGNC) athlete experiences in sport communication. As an example, in a recent search of Communication & Sport, a flagship journal, the words “trans” and “transgender” yielded a single study on the topic of transgender athletes (i.e., Fischer & McClearen, 2020) which included secondary, rather than primary data. In contrast, a search for “gender” yielded 220 studies. Even across the discipline of communication relatively few studies have captured the lived experiences of TGNC athletes (c.f. Nuru, 2014; Wagner et al., 2016).
However, a burgeoning body of literature outside of sport communication has begun to document transgender, gender non-conforming athletes experiences through qualitative first-person research (e.g., Caudwell, 2020; Hargie et al., 2017; Pérez-Samaniego et al., 2019). These important studies, often utilizing a Queer theory and/or critical feminist approaches, have documented many of material and social structures contributing to exclusionary practices in sport contexts (e.g., Devís-Devís et al., 2018; Elling-Machartzki, 2017; Jones et al., 2017; Semerjian & Cohen, 2006). As an example, Elling-Machartzki (2017) documents how sport and physical activity spaces, like public pools, are perceived as unsafe by transgender people especially during liminal phases of their gender journey, often resulting in disengagement from physical activity (see also Caudwell, 2020).
Analyzing and amplifying the stories of TGNC athletes is of both theoretical and practical importance to the study of sport communication. Theoretically, sport offers a context to view extreme forms of the gender binary—the co-construction of gender as the mutually exclusive, distinct identity categories of masculine or feminine (Travers, 2008). In practice, the gender binary in sport harms all athletes. For example, past research has identified particular gendered narratives related to devaluing femininity that reproduce problematic and exclusionary structures and double-binds for cisgender female athletes, despite Title IX legislation (McDonagh & Pappano, 2008; Travers, 2008). Similarly, masculine sport narratives create problematic outcomes for cisgender male athletes, such as high-rates of injury as a result of the masculine-warrior narrative often reproduced in sport (Ruston et al., 2018; Zanin et al., 2020a). Given that TGNC athletes’ identities/bodies challenge binarized sport structures, these athletes have historically suffered violence and trauma as a result of the gender binary (see Anderson & Travers, 2017; Heggie, 2017; Travers, 2018).
The current study builds on past TGNC athlete research by utilizing a narrative constructivist approach (Polkinghorne, 1995) to interpret TGNC athletes narratives of their lived experiences in the context of sport. Framing narrative inquiry as a paradigmatic perspective and narrative analysis as a method (Polkinghorne, 1995; Saldaña, 2016) are particularly helpful in understanding how storytelling functions to reproduce social structures (Sahlstein Parcell & Baker, 2017). By centering narrative as an ontological perspective (i.e., narratives are constitutive of social reality) and a method of inquiry (i.e., collecting and interpreting systems of stories which indicate master narratives), the current study builds on past literature in two ways (Polkinghorne, 1995). First, rather than only documenting “what is,” narrative inquiry demonstrates how specific narratives sustain exclusionary social and material structures. As Polkinghorne (1995) explained, “narrative has been used to refer to the story that evinces a culture’s world-view or ideology (Fisher, 1989; Lyotard, 1984) and serves to legitimize its relative values and goals” (p. 7). Therefore, by collecting and analyzing collections of stories, researchers are able to delineate what stories are contributing to particular ideologies and how these ideologies are sustaining exclusionary practices.
Second, several scholars have noted that trans-exclusionary and gender binary structures are becoming increasingly implicit and hidden (Elling-Machartzki, 2017; Pérez-Samaniego et al., 2019). A focus on master narratives—those stories that are told and (re)told that imply particular morals or lessons and reproduce taken-for-granted assumptions—could reveal some of the obscured assumptions contributing to exclusionary structures. Moreover, identifying these obscured master narratives might provide insights to (re)from narratives toward both material and discursive inclusivity. Towards these aims, the following sections will detail: (a) research at the intersection of narrative inquiry and identity negotiation, (b) past literature documenting gender narratives in sport, and (c) past research that documents gender binary structures in sport.
Narrative Inquiry and Identity Negotiation
Given that scholars disagree on a single approach to narrative research, or even a single definition of narrative (Saldaña, 2016), this research employs Polkinghorne’s (1995) two level conceptualization of paradigmatic narrative inquiry. At the primary level, narratives or stories provide the discursive means for people to co-construct the rich social environments in which they reside. At the secondary level, narratives are also a mechanism for people to make sense of and describe their own experiences through particular worldviews or “master narratives” (Polkinghorne, 1995). Master narratives are implicit, taken-for-granted assumptions or ideologies in a cultural context that are expressed through storytelling. In short, stories are both the substance of and mechanism through which social reality is shared (Polkinghorne, 1995). As a result, narrative inquiry can be used to understand individual and collective experiences as well as the (re)telling of stories that reinforce larger master narratives.
Specifically, narrative inquiry has been used to understand how individuals make sense of and negotiate their identities as a result of their experiences. As Saldaña (2016) explained “narrative analysis is particularly suitable for such inquiries as identity development… nuances of narrative can become richly complex when the researcher explores the participants’ subject positioning and presentation of the self” (p. 155). Given the strengths of narrative inquiry, this paradigmatic perspective and method aligns well with the aims and purposes of the current research.
Intersections of Gender and Sexuality Narratives in Sport
A large body of literature has documented the prevalent gendered narratives (re)told in sport culture both within everyday interactions and within sport media more broadly (e.g., Cooky & Messner, 2018; Messner, 1992). A primary master narrative (i.e., taken-for-granted assumptions, worldview, ideology) prevalent within sport relates to the privileging of masculinity and performances of masculine identities (e.g., Ruston et al., 2018; Zanin et al., 2020a). Moreover, as a result of the conflation of heterosexuality and hegemonic masculinity, Adams et al. (2010) explained the narratives of heteromasculinity in sports as cisgender men competing for “dominance by showing overt physical prowess (Messner, 1992), using sexism and femmephobia to distance themselves from association with femininity (Pronger, 1990), deploying homophobia to distance themselves from homosexuality (Anderson, 2002), and committing physical violence against themselves and others” (p. 280; Citations original).
A related master narrative prevalent within sport is the devaluing of femininity and feminine identity characteristics. A number of studies have documented the double-bind, and gender stereotypes girls and women confront as a result of their intersecting athletic and feminine identities (e.g., Zanin et al., 2020b, 2021a, 2021b; Zarrett et al., 2020). Given that cultural sport narratives have reproduced larger patriarchal structures of men’s dominance over women (Pronger, 1990), these current narratives are the remnants of historic hegemonic masculinity in sport. As Anderson (2009) explained, women and gay men were excluded from participation through these narratives of hegemonic masculinity and feminine inferiority.
Recent research within sport sociology has also specifically documented the narrative and gender identity experiences of transgender athletes in sport and physical activity context (e.g., Caudwell, 2020; Devís-Devís et al., 2018). For example, Elling-Machartzki (2017) utilized a socio-phenomenological approach to analyze body-self narratives in physical activity and sports from 12 transgender people during different stages of transition, detailing how gender binary categories are reified post transition. Similarly, Klein et al. (2018) utilized a narrative approach to detail one collegiate transgender male athlete’s transition through a monthly video diary. The authors utilized a transfeminist perspective given that it “provides a framework for understanding and critiquing transgender inclusion in sport” and “is predicated on the need to contest binary sex divisions” (pp. 555–556). Acknowledging a transfeminist approach is of importance, given the exclusionary master narratives that have emerged from Gender Critical Feminists and Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists (TERFs) about transgender athletes participation in women’s sport. Caudwell (2020) explained that within these perspectives “exclusion is based on largely ideological and philosophical arguments regarding ‘womanhood’ and defining ‘woman’” (p. 2). However, Klein et al. (2018) argue, “One of the paradoxes for transfeminist scholars is the desire to transgress binary perspectives of sex and gender balanced with the desire by some transgender people to fit into binary sex and gender categories, “(p. 565). Given these considerations about the complexity of the gender binary reification through identity enactment of TGNC athletes in sport contexts, we posed the following research question:
Master Narratives that (Re)produce Gender Binary Structures in Sport
The sharing of narratives through storytelling structures everyday interactions. As Polkinghorne (1995) explained “a storied narrative is the linguistic form that preserves the complexity of human action with its interrelationships of temporal sequence, human motivation, chance happenings, and changing interpersonal and environmental contexts” (p. 7). Storytelling also reinforces worldviews through higher-order master narratives (e.g., moralized lessons that reinforce particular ideologies or worldviews) and as a result often reproduce dominant social structures.
Since the inception of modern sport, implicit master narratives have structured and reproduced the gender binary as a mechanism of exclusion in order for cisgender men to perform heteromasculinity and maintain structures of dominance (Anderson, 2009). Structures of dominance facilitating the gender binary in sport have most notably policed and excluded transgender and gender non-conforming bodies, particularly in arenas with heightened potential monetary resources (e.g., professional sports, modern Olympic games, Cooky & Messner, 2018). Heggie (2017) chronicled the history of surveillance regimes and “sex” or “femininity” tests employed to exclude bodies that were questioned as transgender or non-binary from competing in women's sport since the 1930s. “These tests demonstrate the shifting balance of power and authority in sports sciences, as well as highlighting clear conflicts between biological, social and cultural ways of understanding bodily differences” (Heggie, 2017, p. 131). Though structures of gender surveillance in sport have shifted in recent years (Jones et al., 2017), many scholars argue that the gender binary and “sex segregation of sport is a key obstacle to participation for transgender athletes of all ages,” (Travers, 2018, p. 654). For example, Pérez-Samaniego et al. (2019) in their meta-analysis of qualitative research on trans people experiences in sport, found four themes among 12 studies: (a) control over trans bodies through facilities and spaces, (b) discrimination and resistance implicit in use of language (e.g., mis-gendering), (c) social dynamics that dehumanize and exclude gender identities outside of the binary, and (d) gender performativity within sport contexts. While TGNC sport research provides an overview of what social and material structures have shifted over time, they do not account for the ways in which master narratives, retold through everyday storytelling, (re)produce binarized gender structures. To address these issues, we posed the following secondary research question:
Method
When designing this study the authors considered suitability, compatibility, feasibility, and yield when making strategic choices about data collection (Tracy, 2020). First, suitability (i.e., alignment among the study design and the research aims) was considered in terms of theoretical and practical value of collecting stories from TGNC athletes, particularly situated in the resurgence of anti-trans legislation advocating for trans youth exclusion in sport (Keenan & Nicolazzo, 2021). Second, compatibility of research team members to the research topic (i.e., including present and former athletes on the research team; including trans and non-binary researchers on the team) was essential in not only seeking an emic vantage point, but also gaining trust, building rapport, and collecting vivid, detailed narratives from participants. Third, given that the data for this study was collected during a global pandemic and given budgetary constraints, all interviews were conducted through Zoom and survey data via an online survey link. These choices were made with study feasibility and data yield considerations.
Data Collection
Participants were recruited through a purposive, snowball sampling process. Study inclusion criteria were that participants: (a) self-identified as athletes (i.e., broadly and self-defined), (b) self-identified as transgender, gender non-conforming, (c) were at least 18 years old, and (d) were able to understand and conduct an interview in English. 1 To recruit participants with this specific inclusion criteria, our four-person research team (i.e., two assistant professors and two graduate students) posted an informational graphic to our social media accounts. After completing university approved IRB consent forms and completing both an interview and survey, participants were asked if they might recommend another potential participant to participate as part of our snowball sampling method. Data collection continued until the corpus of data approached theoretical saturation (Tracy, 2020) in relation to the research questions posed to the data (i.e., new data was reinforcing findings in previously collected narratives rather than providing new insights or motifs).
Participants
While our inclusion criteria were specific, the demographic information of our participants varied. Participants’ years of sport participation ranged from 2 years to 45 years (M = 18.8, SD = 11.5. All participants (N = 20) had or were currently participating in multiple sports, including: cross country (n = 5), hockey (n = 5), softball (n = 7), soccer (n = 7), roller derby (n = 5) with basketball (n = 13) being the most frequent sport reported. Participants participated in sport at the youth, amateur, recreational, and collegiate levels. Participants used a variety of terms to articulate their gender identity including genderqueer (n = 3), gender non-conforming (n = 4), nonbinary (n = 7), transgender (n = 3), genderfluid (n = 1), agender (n = 1), transmasculine (n = 5), and trans femme (n = 3). 2 Participants reported in their own words a variety of racial and/or ethnic identities including Jewish, Latinx, African-American, Black, and Slavic, with White as the most frequent racial identity (n = 16). Participants’ ages ranged from 24 to 50 (M = 30.75, SD = 6.70). Participants’ level of education ranged from some college to doctorate with a 4-year college degree being the most frequent response (n = 9). Similarly, participants' income ranged from less than US$10,000 per year to more than US$150,000, with the most frequent income range reported being US$20,000–US$29,999 (n = 5). The majority of participants resided in the United States during the time of data collection, with a variety of states and regions represented including New York, Illinois, Texas, Virginia, Florida, Arizona, Pennsylvania, and California (n = 5) as the most frequent. We also had one participant from Sweden included in the sample.
Interviews
In total, our four-person research team collected (N = 20) primary semi-structured interviews with 20 unique TGNC athletes. Interview protocol questions were drafted to elicit specific stories from participants. Example questions include: “Can you share a story that exemplifies what it feels like to participate in your sport? Can you tell a story or provide an example of belonging on your team? Can you share a story of when you felt empowered in sport?” Participants consented to participate and be recorded through an online consent for approved by a university institutional review board. Interviews were conducted through Zoom video conferencing software. Interview length ranged from 42.75 to 132.57 minutes (M = 71.26, SD = 20.88). All interviews were recorded and audio recordings were transcribed by a professional transcription service. Transcripts were reviewed for accuracy by the research team and (de)identified. This process yielded 368 single-spaced pages of interview transcripts.
Data Analysis
TGNC Athletes Narrative and Story Motifs.
Note. This table summarizes four convergent narratives TGNC athletes retold through their storytelling about their gendered experiences in sport. Story motifs reflect the smaller themes within each larger narrative category.
TGNC Athlete Narratives in Relation to Gender Binary Master Narratives.
Note. This table summarizes the analytic connections among the TGNC athlete narratives and the master narratives that were revealed through the evaluation statements within each of these stories. Analysis revealed master narratives that reinforced the gender binary and also counter narratives that challenged the gender binary.
Findings
A narrative analysis revealed four central narratives that TGNC athletes converged on while (re)telling stories about their gender identity negotiation within sport. These narratives included (a) gender sanctioning stories, (b) binary gender survival stories, (c) gender transition and disclosure stories, and (e) gender affirming stories. Each of these collections of stories also related to underlying story motifs that thematically related to the larger TGNC athlete narrative (see Table 1). In answering the secondary research question, through a structural narrative analysis, the authors focused on both the evaluation within each story (i.e., summative, evaluative statements that function to make the point of the story clear; Saldaña, 2016) and then how that evaluation functioned in reproducing larger master narratives present in sport and societal contexts (see Table 2). Implications for how particular master narratives relate to the perpetuation of binarized structures are discussed in the final section.
Stories of Gender Sanctioning Within Sport
A primary convergent narrative that TGNC athletes articulated within their storytelling of their experiences within sports were stories about how they were often sanctioned by others (e.g., parents, teammates, sports officials, coaches) for not performing gender identity in a way that reinforced prescriptive gender stereotypes. These stories summarize how others employed mechanisms of control to force TGNC athletes into gender binary structures and patriarchal systems of sport. For example, Charlie, a transmasculine basketball athlete, recounted a story about how he
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was treated on his competitive travel youth basketball team for not performing in stereotypical femininity and instead playing aggressively, an identity characteristic often interpreted as stereotypically masculine and thus incongruent with gender performances expected of a member of the women's team. He explained: A person on the other team went up for a layup. And I did what competitive people do and I fouled her hard. And from that, my coach immediately took me out of the game and … he was like “that’s not how you play the game.” And I knew, …that if I were a boy that would not have been the reaction. That is the correct thing to do when your team needs passion, the injection of energy, you foul hard because you protect the paint. That’s what you’re supposed to do in basketball. But because I was a girl that was considered uncouth. So he sat me down the whole rest of the game as punishment for what I had done. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
Charlie’s story exemplifies a double-bind many female athletes experience as a result of master narratives (i.e., feminine is meek, passive) within a sports context such that female athletes should not “over” perform stereotypical masculinity (e.g., aggressive, competitive) nor should female athletes perform stereotypical femininity (e.g., passivity, sensitivity, emotionality). Moreover, the story of this gendered sanctioning further complicates Charlie’s gender and athlete identity negotiation as he explained in the evaluation statement in the story: “that is the correct thing to do when your team needs passion… that is what you’re supposed to do in basketball.” This statement indicates a misalignment among athletic identity performance and gender identity, such that Charlie was striving to enact a positive basketball athlete identity beyond the gender binary of sport. Yet, he was sanctioned for this enactment because his gender embodiment was incongruent with the gender expectations projected onto his body coupled with master narratives within sport that perpetuate gender sanctions on female athletes.
Similarly, several participants told stories of gender sanctions because of others’ perceptions of the non-binary bodies in binarized sport contexts. For example, Arlo, a current transgender weightlifter and past track and field athlete, told a story about gender messaging that “definitely inhibited” their interest and ability to participate in sport. They recounted: I'm assigned female at birth. … I wasn’t really allowed to train or do a lot as a teenager because my parents told me it's too hard on the body. I don’t think they would have said that to a boy. … Both my dad and this coach was like, even when we were doing the strength portions, they wouldn't let us lift very heavy weights .... My mom still thinks that way. When she hears about my weightlifting, she was like, “Well, you should relax, [Arlo]. You should stop with the heavy weights,” and I’m just like, “Whatever.” That’s the whole point! [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In their story, Arlo’s evaluative statements reveal the gender sanctioning that occurred as a result of cisheteronormative interpretations and prescriptions for gendered identity performance based on the ways others perceived their body as both binary and woman. The messages Arlo received as a result of this (mis)perception had tangible consequences on their ability to participate in sport and fully realize their athletic potential until adulthood, particularly as a result of gendered master narratives within binary sport contexts (i.e., the feminine body is fragile). Correspondingly, Harper, a gender non-conforming athlete of several sports, recounted a story about how binarized body categorization prevented them from participating in sport and was often sanctioned for being “more muscular than anybody else on the team.” They explained: I know that [my gender identity] definitely influenced my participation to a certain extent, for sure with wrestling. I just got a hard “no” every direction that I went, and it didn’t even occur to me that it was a gendered sport. I didn't even see the players as... I saw them as people wearing singlets. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t... I went in with this really beautiful naivety and I was like, “I would like to do this, too.” And they were like, “Absolutely not.” And I was like, “I don’t understand.” So it definitely held me back to a certain extent. This was way before I had the language or the understanding of being gender nonconforming or being gender expansive. But the expectations around body type for specific sports that were gendered, but it was never directly presented in that way. So along with cheerleading, I did a lot of gymnastics, but I’ve always been... Well, then I was more muscular than anybody else on the team. So it made certain expectations more challenging for me. And there were no accommodations made. … It definitely influenced my participation. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this story Harper articulates two primary evaluation statements. First, Harper highlights their lack of understanding of binary gender master narratives in sport contexts as a child, master narrative function of exclusion by gendering particular sports like wrestling as heteromasculine, perpetuating cissexism. Secondly, Harper highlights how their body never fully fit into the gendered binary structures and categorization of sport, indicating that an experience of body liminality functioned as a barrier and challenge to sport participation. Similarly, Ellis, a transmasculine youth basketball athlete, recalls how his body was read and sanctioned in the binary context of his high school women’s basketball games. He recounted: I do remember in high school, because I'm 6′2″, … them being like, “That’s a boy, it has to be a boy. It’s too big to be a girl.” … They didn’t even know my gender identity at the time or anything like that. I always had shorter hair, that kind of stuff. And I would get called boy or sir all the time, and secretly in my heart, I loved it. I liked that it was affirming to me. But it was hard as an athlete trying to be a part of this girls’ team and then being said, “That’s a boy.” And using my gender traits against me in a lot of ways too. And like, “Oh, well they’re too good to be a girl or they’re too tall to be a girl.” That kind of stuff was confusing. I think on top of that too, because I was having gender identity struggles and then just body struggles, not to mention growing breasts and having to deal with periods and all that kind of stuff at the time too, which caused a lot of dysphoria for me. So it was a very layered experience of having that happen. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this story, Ellis articulated a “layered experience” of contradictions and dysphoria, given that his body in a high school women’s basketball context challenged gender binary assumptions. Moreover, the evaluation statement of gender traits being used against Ellis reveals a gender binary master narrative such that “feminine is less athletically skilled.” As a result he was again (re)categorized by others as “too good to be a girl” and “too tall to be a girl” indicating a regression to problematic (i.e., bioessentialist) gender binary master narratives in sport contexts.
Several participants also described how gendered clothing, particularly uniforms, in the context of sport contributed to the sanctioning of their transgender, gender non-conforming identities. As an example, Kate, a transgender woman triathlete and softball player, recounted a story about her dad, who was also her football coach, sanctioning her focus on her appearance and football uniform as a youth athlete. She explained: If my dad is here right now he’d say, “You were like that long before all this. You were like that when you played football for me. Everything had to be coordinated. …You were always a stickler about that stuff. Everything had to just be just right.” There were times when I’d be fussing over a football [uniform], he was like, “It’s a football [uniform]. You’ve just put on. Let’s go. Do you want to play? Or do you want to cheerlead?” “Actually, you know ...” [Smile, Laughter]. One of the ways I deal with it is like feminize when I make it look more quote, unquote “feminine,” whenever you can, whatever it takes to make you feel a certain way. …. Some of us who transition, especially when we’re talking about trans women, because we are so caught in the middle of, we’re so caught in so many vices and so many nets. And we’re so snared in so many things you have to deal with ... We have to deal with people who say we’re not real. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this excerpt, Kate details a clear memory of sanctioning messaging about a focus on appearance that was viewed as a performance of femininity in a U.S. American football context. Her father tried to sanction her with a stereotypical feminine identity of “cheerleader.” Notably, Kate has reframed this potentially painful story, as gender affirmation from her father (e.g., “you were like that long before all this…”). In the evaluation statements of this story, Kate reconciles her feminine identity in the context of sport by “feminizing” her look in the context of sports (e.g., “... one thing I’m known for is I wear skirts on a ball field”). She explained that this uniform choice aids her in coping with both personal gender dysphoria and also challenges the gender binary in sport. In contrast, gendered uniforms often functioned as an exclusionary mechanism within childhood experiences of sport. Ellis, again recounted: My strongest memory from that time was everybody had a cup, right? In their pants and they would all knock on it. Knock. Knock. That was all the boys would do. They just knock, knock, knock on their little cups and I wanted so badly to have a cup. I didn’t understand why I didn’t get one. And I wanted to knock on my cup too.
This uniform difference of material object, while a necessary safety item, functioned to highlight body differences between players and challenged inclusion of all bodies. Similarly, Charlie discussed sanctioning messages about uniforms from his parents: Particularly wearing undershirts, that became a big thing because I wanted to just be free underneath my jersey. And really when I was about nine or ten my parents started enforcing that I had to wear an undershirt in order to play because I was too developed to play freely in the way that I wanted to. That was a big message for me. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
Here Charlie described how his parents enforced an “undershirt” rule because he was “too developed” at the time, revealing how non-binary bodies are often sanctioned as a result of master sport narratives and norms (e.g., masculine breasts can be seen, feminine breasts should be hidden, controlled). Taken together, gender sanctioning stories revealed how others in sport context (re)produce master narratives as a mechanism of control to force TGNC athletes into cisheteropatriarchal systems of sport, which devalues femininity and ambiguity while reinforcing transmisogyny.
Gender Binary Violence and TGNC Athlete Survival
A second set of stories retold by TGNC participants highlighted the violent experiences of TGNC athletes as a result of transphobic, homophobic and misogynist master narratives often (re)produced in sport contexts. These stories of violence also articulated how TGNC athletes navigated these master narratives. First, several participants described feeling unsafe in backstage interactions with teammates (e.g., “locker room talk”) as a gender non-conforming person because of harassment and bullying from teammates, parents, coaches, and opposing teams. For example, Taylor, a transmasculine multi-sport athlete, recounted a story about how and why they felt unsafe in water polo on their collegiate men’s team. They explained that they “observ [ed] a lot of misogyny, transphobia, homophobia,” in these backstage interactions, which silenced their authentic expression of identity. They explained, “I didn’t really participate or talk. And I’m just like, ‘Yeah, you’re not safe.’ Like I don’t feel safe around any of these people.” Taylor went on to provide a specific example: Like in water polo, if I wasn’t harassing women to date and to have sex, I was bullied for it, just for that stuff and let alone [for being transgender], …a kid from a team in college recently told me that he bullied me and harassed me because he didn’t want to be bullied [for being gay]. … And so it kind of clicked like, “Okay, so I wasn’t making this up that I was being harassed and I was being shut out.” But yeah, the teams made it very obviously clear that if you were not well, just cis and het they would do something to you. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this story, Taylor provides two evaluation statements that reference master narratives of homophobia and transphobia in sport. The reproduction of these narratives about gender identities and sexuality reinforced literal exclusion, but also forced Taylor to mute his authentic gender expression. Similarly, many other athletes recounted how they choose to conceal their authentic gender identity and expression in sport as a mechanism of survival in binary sport contexts. The term “stealth” was defined by participants as instances when a transgender person lives completely as their transitioned gender and does not reveal that they are transgender in particular contexts as a means of survival and safety from both verbal and physical violence. Taylor explained as a part of their collegiate water polo story: “for college all 4 years I went to stealth and I was just a plain A straight cis male,” even though they had been “out” as transgender on their high school water polo team. Similarly, Peyton, a transfeminine roller derby athlete, explained: I don’t know if anyone on my team knows that I’m trans and there’s still a lot of difficulties that I have in being out as trans publicly… I guess transmisogyny, and then it’s the same with people who are transmasc. Unfortunately, a lot of trans men are viewed as being not like real men and they view trans women as being real men….someone who is conventionally feminine identifies as a transgender woman in a binary way and their body and face reflect that will be included a lot more easily than someone who doesn’t. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this excerpt, Peyton articulates several master narratives in sport that relate to denying the validity and authenticity of transgender identities, rooted in stereotypical ascriptions of binary feminine or masculine bodies. This master narrative of transgender identity denial forces TGNC athletes—as Peyton explains, those TGNC athletes who are able—to “go stealth” and conceal their authentic transgender identity. These stealth stories were also often told in the context of witnessing or being the victim of “frontstage” violence towards TGNC athletes through harassment and mis-gendering. Participants explained that often these painful experiences were exacerbated when their teammates and coaches, whom they trusted, did not act in ways that demonstrated their allyship. For example, Fin, a gender non-conforming roller derby athlete, told a story about transphobic harassment at an away tournament. They recounted: So there was this one [male player], I think he was from Ohio … he would put his toes on the ref line, right next to the penalty box and just stand there and just screamed at me the whole game and made fun of me …while I was sitting in the box and nobody did anything the whole game. Why is this a thing I have to deal with? … I don’t understand why we’re all okay with this. It’s the message of: these are the words coming out of this person’s mouth and then it’s this entire organization who’s doing nothing to protect me from it. It just makes it hard to want to go back to those events. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In the excerpt, Fin details a particularly aggressive experience of frontstage transphobic harassment where they were not supported by their teammates or coaches. They explained that this experience ultimately led to their disengagement from the sport organization as a whole. In this case, Fin’s survival in the gender binary master narratives in sport forced disengagement and their exclusion from sport. Tatum, a transmasculine softball athlete, detailed a similar story of being misgendered and unsupported. He explained: In the first game, the umpire called me a young lady twice. … I have a full beard…like, I’m not really sure what that ump was seeing. If it was just that I have hips? …So this idea of like that also in itself creates this power imbalance of, “Well, now that whole team thinks I’m a lady,” or, “That whole team knew I wasn’t a lady and they just let it happen.” So now there’s a strange imbalance of like, “These people aren’t willing to advocate for me. Why? Why aren’t you advocating for me?” [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this story, Tatum explains that not only was he mis-gendered by an umpire in a position of power, further inhibiting his ability to correct and disclose his authentic gender identity, he also did not experience allyship from his own or the other team. These stories reveal a master narrative of cisgender apathy for trans allyship, denying responsibility for correction and creating spaces for transgender inclusivity.
Gender Transition and Disclosure Stories Within the Context of Sport
A third set of convergent narratives about TGNC athlete experiences in sport focused on the experiences of gender transition and disclosure. These narratives revealed how sport at times either inhibited or facilitated gender identity understanding, transition, and disclosure. For example, Peyton, a transfemme roller derby athlete, describes the challenge of being stealth in some contexts and wanting to come out in other contexts. She stated: My roommate didn’t know that I was trans and I didn’t explicitly come out to my team. I came out to my coach and to the person who was trans identifying on the team, but I never really had an explicit conversation with my team. Initially I was really, really anxious about it. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
In this excerpt, Peyton explains the negotiation of how, when and who to self-disclose their gender identity within a sports context. The anxiety of when and how to disclose authentic gender identities contributed to the exclusion of some TGNC athletes from particular sports. This disclosure inhibition highlights the importance of reducing problematic master narratives supporting the gender binary in sport. As an example of sport inhibiting gender disclosure, Morgan, a transfemme roller derby athlete, recounted how her gender transition forced her to leave the sport of capoeira—a Brazilian martial art. They explained, “I pretty much left capoeira when I started transitioning just because I was fearful of how the professor might react.” Similarly, Taylor explained her transition and disclosure in high school was at first inhibited by their participation in water polo. They explained: I came out around 16, but I was one of the captains of my water polo team, the key defender. And when I told them that I wasn’t going to join my junior year, I didn’t explain why. I was so distraught over my gender identity and being on a women’s water polo team in a women’s swimsuit. And so it was hard because water polo was my biggest sport and my key serotonin booster and I needed it, but my gender identity was kind of preventing me from enjoying that experience. Especially just having to be mis-gendered and everything. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
Taylor’s transition and disclosure story exemplifies the challenges athletes in transition experience in the binary context of sport. They went on to explain how a coach’s gender affirmation can change this experience of transition within youth sport. They recounted: But then my coach pulled me aside one day and said, “What’s going on? Why are you not joining the team?” That's when I came out and we ended up being able to do like an adjustment for how I could play on the team and I’d be gendered properly as a boy, even in a women’s swimsuit and use the men's locker room. And so I could still enjoy those sports. And I was very thankful that my team was really accepting and welcoming of that, but that definitely I needed that support to be able to play athletics that early in my transition. [Italics indicate evaluative statement]
Here, Taylor highlights how transitioning in the context of sport with the master narrative of inclusion, acceptance and gender affirmation facilitated and supported their transition. Other TGNC athletes told stories about how sport facilitated their transition and disclosure of their authentic gender identity. For example, Mason a non-binary softball and roller derby athlete, described how they felt forced to be “stealth” on his college softball team because of scholarship and collegiate rules about TGNC athlete participation. However, Mason went on to imagine what it would feel like to skate on her roller derby team after their transition. He explains: My team hasn’t skated with me since I was able to start my hormones. And I came out to everybody, when I left softball. But I didn't tell anybody that I was starting hormones until a few months into COVID. So my team hasn’t skated with me. So then I also feel like me, but also like they’re just going to... It also just makes me excited again, because they’re going to come back to an even better me. I’m going to be much more comfortable skating [after their top surgery] … I went through this huge, life changing procedure that I’ve wanted more than anything in my entire life. I’m going to come back healed and feel comfortable wearing my jersey. I can’t wait to put it on. [Italics indicate evaluation statement]
In this story, Mason contrasts their softball experience with the excitement of competing in roller derby after his transition. This contrast exemplifies a counter narrative to the master narratives that reproduce binary structures in sport, such that sport can function as a catalyst for understanding and realizing TGNC gender identities. Mason explained that she was only able to realize his authentic TGNC identity after leaving the binarized collegiate softball team, and begin their transition in a gender inclusive and affirming team like roller derby. Moreover, this story reveals that embodied experiences of sport can affirm non-binary genders within sport contexts.
Stories of Gender Affirmation Within Sport
A final collection of narratives that represent TGNC participant experiences in sport were stories of gender affirmation through discursive affirmation, material support, and glimmers of gender experiences beyond the binary. First, several participants told stories about allyship and being correctly gendered aiding in their feelings of belonging, empowerment and inclusion. For example, Arlo a transgender weightlifter retold a story of allyship and gender affirmation. They explained: I overheard them say “they” for me and I was like, “Whoa, did I just hear that right?” Then later on after the competition, I asked my teammate, “Hey, teammate, I noticed they were gendering me correctly. That’s pretty cool. Did they just see that on my Zoom name?” My teammate goes, “No, actually, they were starting with ‘she’ because that’s what they did to everybody because it’s the women’s session,” but then my teammate told my coach and they went and messaged the announcer on the group chat. The announcer immediately adjusted and started using my preferred names and my correct pronouns. It was just like, “Wow, that can just happen at a national level event that’s run by the national governing body, USA Weightlifting?” I was just like, “Whoa, that's incredible.” [Italics indicate evaluation statement].
In this story, Arlo described how their teammate engaged in allyship by correcting the misgendering of the announcer. Importantly, this excerpt demonstrates several characters advocating on behalf of Arlo (i.e., coach and teammate) as well as an immediate correction from the announcer. Moreover, this story exemplifies a counter narrative to master narratives that reproduce binarized sport structures such that gender affirmations occur in everyday inclusive discourse (e.g., modeling pronoun disclosure, correcting misgendering, using correct pronouns/names, and engaging in discursive gender affirmation).
A second motif in this collection of stories was material support as gender affirmation for TGNC athletes. For example, Mason described the material (i.e., gifts, monetary support) they received during her recovery from top surgery. He recounts: I have top surgery and my roller derby team brings me a card and like a succulent kit… They all know me, they’re like, “You don’t sit still and this sucks. We’re here for you. You’re loved.” I had a GoFundMe for my Top Surgery and the amount of people from the skating community, people that aren’t on my team, people that are in on teams in Germany, like, freaking Germany, donated to my GoFundMe, … if I wasn’t a part of this community, I wouldn’t have that, I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to have my procedure done. [Italics indicate evaluation statement]
This story excerpt demonstrates material support from their team as she fundraises for and recovers from top surgery. As Mason explained, without this very real, tangible support from their roller derby community, she may not have been able to have the gender affirming procedure done. This story exemplifies an additional counter narrative to gender binary master narrative such that gender affirmation occurs in material support.
A final motif within this collection of gender affirmation stories were stories that centered on TGNC athletes’ embodied sport experiences. These corporeal experiences enable athletes to feel moments or glimmers of possibility beyond the structures of sport which overlay gender binaries on all bodies and identities. For example Morgan, a transfemme roller derby athlete, explained that she “ha[s] a very oftentimes not great relationship with my body and roller derby really just kind of removes a lot of that and lets me just enjoy being a person.” In the excerpt, Morgan explained that the embodiment of her sport allowed her to remove some of the burden that binary gender narratives placed on her body, as well as body dysphoria and “just enjoy being a person.” Similarly, Kate, a transgender female athlete, described her experiencing the joy of her authentic gender identity through embodied participation in sport. She recounted her joy in a recent triathlon race: It was that last run and it was a full on 5K. …the sun’s beating down on you and your legs are getting heavy. … my mind is like, “I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired. I’m running. I’m tired. I’m tired and tired.” And all of a sudden, another thought comes in my head, “Notice that balance?” And then I realized, “You’ve got boobs, you’re running with boobs. And they have a subtle little pitch in your up and down.” And at that point I didn’t feel tired and I started smiling and I actually started giggling a little bit. … But it was that little bit of a thing that’s, it’s a very affirming thing and it happened during a race. [Italics indicate evaluation statement]
In this story, Kate describes how her embodiment of her authentic gender identity allowed her to experience her sport with a body that she described as in “balance.” This story supports a counter narrative to gender binary master narratives such that embodied experience of sport can affirm TGNC gender identities beyond the binary and in transition. Charlie, a transmasculine basketball athlete, described a similar embodied sports story playing basketball a year into his transition. He explained: [My youth sport experience] compared to now, I feel freer. …I’m able to play the sport I love without this baggage that I need to prove that I’m better than the boys or that I can really play. … For my birthday last year my partner surprised me... She rented out a full athletic complex and for two hours we just played basketball with each other and it was the best surprise I’ve ever had in my life. … My birthday’s in October, that was a year-ish after I started hormones. It was probably the first time that I had played basketball on a court and felt alive the way that sports are supposed to make you feel. [Italics indicate evaluation statement]
In his story, Charlie contrasts his experiences in sport in his youth and now in transition and highlights how embodying his authentic identity in the binarized context of sport was emancipative (e.g., “I feel freer”). Moreover, Charlie references the gender binary master narrative related to gender sanctioning he experienced as an athlete within girls’ teams in his youth. Importantly, this sport experience of playing basketball with his partner as his authentic gender identity, Charlie was able to affirm his gender identity in the context of sport.
Discussion
Taken together, the aim of this research was to document the lived experiences of TGNC athletes within the binarized structures of sport. A narrative analysis aided in (a) capturing the convergent stories the TGNC athletes in our study retold about their gender identity negotiation within and through sport experiences and (b) revealing particular master narratives that are (re)producing as well as challenging binarized structures within sport. The following section will detail the contributions of this research to both theory and practice.
Naming the Master Narratives (Re)Producing the Gender Binary in Sport
A primary contribution is both the documentation of TGNC stories and then detailing how these stories reinforce gender binary master narratives. Utilizing narrative inquiry as both a paradigmatic approach and method, demonstrated how the structures of stories (i.e., setting plot, characters, evaluative statements) reproduce master narratives that have material consequences for exclusionary practices detailed in other sport literature (e.g., Caudwell, 2020; Hargie et al., 2017; Pérez-Samaniego et al., 2019). Unsurprisingly, many of the master narratives identified within past sport literature—those that undervalue femininity and overvalue masculinity—were present in TGNC sport stories; this includes narratives of hegemonic stereotypes of femininity (i.e., weakness, frailty, submissiveness and passivity; see Krane et al., 2004; Scarborough, 2018) and masculinity that are often reproduced in the hyper masculine cultural context of sport (e.g., strength, mental toughness, violence, emotional stoicism; see Kauer & Krane, 2006; Ruston et al., 2018).
Our analysis of TGNC athletes revealed how such narratives reproduce gender binary structures in sport as well as perpetuate transmisogyny stemming from both traditional sexism, such that masculinity is superior to femininity, and cissexism, the structural positioning of “male” and “female” as oppositional foils of one another, rigid, and mutually exclusive (Serano, 2007). Moreover, our analysis revealed that binarized master narratives of sport impossibilizes gender transition (or the body capable of transition) by reproducing overt and covert structures of exclusion. As evidence, several TGNC athletes placed onto girls' and later women’s teams told stories of stereotypical feminine ascriptions of identity (e.g., a transmasculine athlete sanctioned for fouling on a girls team). By overlaying binary categories on non-binary bodies/identities, TGNC athletes experience more than a double-bind, but rather “caught in so many vices and so many nets” as Kate, a transfeminine athlete explained. Stories that include evaluation statements about the misgendering of their bodies in sport often resulted in TGNC athletes’ disengagement from sport altogether.
Another master narrative within TGNC athlete sport stories that reproduced the binary was the denial of authenticity of TGNC gender identities. This master narrative reproduces the gender binary by delegitimizing the authenticity of gender non-conforming identity claims. This narrative was also reinforced by the erasure of trans identity enactment in sport contexts (e.g., stealth, passing). This master narrative also coincides with larger societal discourses of transmisogyny (Arayasirikul & Wilson, 2019) such that transfeminine athletes told stories about the stigma and rhetoric of sport advantage by participating on women’s sports teams, which inhibited their ability to participate and reinforces binary structures. These stories highlight how specific feminist perspectives rooted in gender binary master narratives about inclusion versus fairness (Scovel et al., 2022) can underpin a transphobic responses (Caudwell, 2020).
Sharing Stories of Hidden Suffering and Survival
A secondary contribution to the burgeoning literature on TGNC sport experiences is providing a thick description of a variety of transgender, gender-nonconforming stories. Our dataset included stories from transgender women, transgender men as well as gender non-conforming, gender fluid, non-binary individuals. These perspectives offered both convergent and divergent of experiences within sport related to the reproduction of the gender binary. One particular concerning consequence of the binarized gender structures within sport is the muting and erasure of trans and gender non-conforming identities within sport contexts. Participants often felt unsafe to disclose their TGNC identities within the context of sport, and as a result hid–if not suppressed–their authentic gender identities and expressions in those contexts (i.e., “going stealth”). This identity negotiation survival strategy likely has consequences for both “stealth” TGNC athletes and “out” TGNC athletes (e.g., lack of representation; exacerbated gender dysphoria; Anderson et al., 2020; Gilani et al., 2021; Nuru, 2014).
The evidence suggests that a lack of TGNC athletes embodied representation in sport contexts further stigmatized their marginalized identities, and periperformatively communicates that sport participation is not possible. TGNC embodied representation in sport, as our TGNC athlete narratives indicated, is only possible when TGNC safety is ensured and the gender binary is challenged. However, the labor to create and maintain trans-inclusive policies is often shifted to the those most marginalized, rooted in the “classical liberal tradition of heroic struggle of the individual against the bureaucracy” (Travers, 2006, p. 435).
Findings indicated that TGNC athletes often sought out spaces where (a) other “out” TGNC athletes were already participating and/or (b) there was clear TGNC inclusive language used on recruitment materials, organization policies, bylaws, and in cisgender athlete interactions. Often the most inclusive sport contexts, functioning outside of the “sex segregation” structures, were created by TGNC and queer athletes themselves (e.g., all gender softball league, all gender weight-lifting competition) rather than reforming gender binary structures within existing sport organizations. These findings relate to Travers' (2008) discussion of the distinctions between gender conformers and gender transformers—with the latter “reject[ing] any form of gender normativism explicitly or implicitly imposed,” (Perez-Samaniego et al., 2019, p. 449). Given the reification of the binary in sport, “cases about the physical activity and sport experiences of gender transformers are comparatively scarce in literature” (Perez-Samaniego et al., 2019, p. 449). This research helps to fill this gap by detailing how gender transformers challenged the binary within sport contexts.
Counter Narratives' Promise for Creating Change and Challenging the Binary
While many of the master narratives highlighted how the gender binary is being reproduced in sport, TGNC athletes also told stories that (re)produced counter narratives that have the potential to challenge the gender binary in sport. First, participants told stories about their intersectional identities (e.g., athletic, gender) as enacted and experienced through their youth sport experiences. While many TGNC athletes articulated that they did not yet have the words to explain and express their authentic gender identity as a child, sport experiences, both positive and negative, led to questioning and later sensemaking about their authentic gender identities. For example, Morgan explained that their decision to transition was facilitated by both sanctioning from their softball team, and encouragement from their current roller derby team.
A second master narrative that may aid in challenging the binary was the counter narrative of embodied experiences of sport. Several TGNC athletes described the freedom and joy of experiencing sport as embodied, tactile, and material as an identity experience beyond the binary structures of sport. As an example, Charlie described his embodied experience of playing basketball as his authentic gender identity as feeling “alive,” whereas Kate described a sense of “balance” in racing as her authentic gender identity. Several other participants described their “fear” “anxiety” and “worry” falling away during their physical participation and athletic embodiment. Past research indicates that physical activities have substantial potential to build athletes desired genders, as they provide embodied opportunities to do gender (Hargie et al., 2017; Caudwell, 2020). Importantly, our findings indicates that “doing gender” in ways that reify the binary structures is problematic for all athletes. Future research should consider how sport might facilitate rather than inhibit the realization of multiple layered, often marginalized identities (see also Klein et al., 2018; Wagner et al., 2016; Zanin et al., 2020b).
Limitations and Future Research
As is the case with all empirical research, this study has limitations and findings detailed here should be transferred to other contexts with careful consideration. First, our study captured data from TGNC athletes from a wide range of experiences, sports, locations, and identities, therefore our data provides a wide breadth of experiences of TGNC athletes in sport. We recognize that each TGNC person’s gender journey is unique and future research should consider differences among differing intersectional TGNC athlete identities, particularly in relation to race and class. In addition, our participants mainly identified as amateur rather than professional or elite athletes. Future research might contrast the current findings with narratives of professional transgender, gender non-conforming athletes. Second, our data asked participants to recall stories about their past experiences, which aligns with narrative inquiry such that the stories we retell constitute our current social reality. Given that these narratives represent fragmented and partial accounts, future research might consider collecting observational data to better understand TGNC athletes' experiences. Finally, we acknowledge that our research team was made up of cisgender and gender non-conforming people, these identities likely both facilitated and inhibited the data we were able to collect and how the data was analyzed. Future work may consider other methods to provide a more comprehensive, crystalized account of TGNC athletes' experiences in sport.
Conclusion
While acknowledging these limitations, this study builds on past research detailing TGNC athletes experiences in sport. Through a constructivist narrative lens, our work details how the (re)telling of everyday stories sustains and challenges master narratives contributing to binary gender structures within sport. Our work highlights the agency TGNC athletes, allies, and transfeminist advocates have to reject the gender binary and reform sporting practices and policies toward inclusivity.
Footnotes
Acknowledgments
The authors wish to recognize the support and contributions of participants in the execution of this research.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This work was supported by the Arizona State Global Sport Institute.
