Struggles of Korean Second-Generation Leaders: Leaving the Immigrant Church

Purpose and method of study

The purpose of this study is to explain the struggles of second-generation Korean American leaders that eventually led them away from the first-generation immigrant church. Though the qualitative study is conducted in Los Angeles, the findings and implications of the study transcend a specific geographic region in that the Korean diaspora is a global phenomenon.

This study is based on data acquired largely through individual interviews of seventeen Korean American pastors. Each interview lasted an average of one hour, and follow-up interviews were conducted as needed. Because such confidential, vulnerable information was shared and could lead to current leadership positions being threatened, strict confidentiality was ensured, and prior consent was obtained before conducting every interview. The participants of this study were not pushed to share any information that they were not comfortable sharing. To protect their identities, pseudonyms are used throughout this article. Further research, however, would help validate the results reached from this relatively small number of findings.

All participants were second-generation Korean American pastors who were currently serving or who had previously served in English ministries that were part of larger Korean American immigrant churches. The time served in Korean American churches ranged from four years to fifteen years; on average, the second-generation pastors had served 7.89 years in immigrant Korean American churches.

Characteristic of qualitative research, interviewees were asked open-ended questions about their experience with the first-generation Korean American immigrant church. The stories of these second-generation leaders not only assist in bridging gaps in their own church leadership but also help create a better understanding for all leaders in multigenerational and multicultural churches.

History of the Korean American church

The Korean immigrant church in America is not just a religious institution; it is a place where Koreans find support in their shared ethnic identity. Attending church is very important in the Korean community, not only for reasons that are religious and spiritual, but also for social and cultural considerations. “For the first generation the church is both a place of social interaction and cultural identification. After all, they speak the same language and share the same values and customs; and much of their unique cultural behavior is mutually reinforced in the social contacts provided by the church.” ³

The history of the Korean church in America is directly related to the flow of immigrants from Korea.

Since the early period of immigrant history, the Church has been the center of the Korean American community. This is so because, on the one hand, most of the first immigrants were Christians and established their community around the Church, and on the other, because later immigrants, whether Christian or not, were attracted to the church. It was the only place where they would speak their own language and share their culture with one another. The immigrant churches have thus functioned as meeting places for their ethnic communities, and as centers for preserving and educating in their culture and language groups that have suffered from racial and socioeconomic discrimination in the U.S. ⁴

Moving to a foreign country can be quite frightening. The Korean American community, however, found comfort in knowing that at least once a week, they could come together at the local church not only to worship but also to share life, resources, and cultural values.

English ministries

In the 1980s the first generation recognized the need to conduct Sunday school in English for children who did not speak Korean. Because the number of English-speaking Bible study teachers was limited, however, almost anyone who spoke English could be appointed as a Sunday school teacher. ⁵

As the Korean American church continued to grow, church agendas continued to focus on the needs of the first-generation immigrants. “Such leadership was not effective because it created conflict between the first generation leader and the second generation youth.” ⁶ As the Sunday school children grew older, separate English services were created for college students and young adults, and as a result, English ministries (EM) emerged. English ministries today mostly consist of second-generation college and/or adult Korean Americans who speak the English language fluently.

Second-generation individuals, however, feel that the Korean American immigrant church continues to center its attention on the first-generation congregation. EM pastors share the feelings of frustration of having to conform to the values and worldview of the former generation. “Second generation Koreans, even if they have been under the strong cultural influence of the first generation, feel alienated from the church due to their different worldview. . . . The difference in values, beliefs, and attitudes as well as the view of the church stemming from these two divergent worldviews [has] become a source of disagreement, misunderstanding, and conflicts.” ⁷

The Korean American church has faced a radical shift in that the second-generation EM leaders have started to leave the first-generation Korean church to find their own places of belonging and to begin their own churches. In Tapestry of Grace, Ben Shin and Sheryl Silzer state that upon graduation from seminary, nearly all of their classmates dreamed about planting a church. “The biggest and most frequent reason that [their] classmates gave for planting a church was that they did not want to be part of an immigrant church. Specifically, they were tired of being under the leadership of first-generation Asian immigrants. Fast forward a few years and nearly all of these classmates did eventually plant a small, independent church.” ⁸ This is the reality of where Korean American immigrant churches finds themselves today—without their children.

Findings

Interviews revealed that identity confusion among second-generation individuals is inevitable insofar as Eastern and Western values seem to be incompatible. Coupled with confusion between Eastern and Western ideals for the second generation is the desire to discover oneself. Because Asian Americans have been born and raised in the diaspora, they are forced to develop hybrid identities. One pastor shared, “I would say that the second generation, from a purely sociological and cultural perspective, is going to have issues. Anybody with common sense would know that—and this is not just for the Koreans, this is true for any immigrant society. Immigrant people groups have gone through that, historians will tell you that.” This participant in my study continued to share that many times the children want to remember what their fathers would rather forget.

The search for self is multilayered. The need to “find yourself” of a second-generation young person is different from that of an adolescent of the mainstream culture trying to establish his or her own personhood. Likewise, the search for self-development among second-generation pastors is different from that of a pastor in the mainstream culture.

Not only do second-generation individuals struggle to find their place in society, but they also work to understand their identity in terms of heritage and culture. Though second-generation pastors may have, to a certain extent, endured and secured their identities as adult individuals, being part of and leading members in the immigrant church forces them to once again reconstruct their identities and reevaluate the structure, value, and even the message of their ministries.

Pastors shared frustration in having to piece together fragmented pieces of themselves in the midst of cultural settings that upheld values different from their own. Two main elements of the Asian culture emerged as the source of intercultural identity struggle: striving to maintain the honor balance and struggle with due order. Not only did participants share the difficulty in navigating through these cultural values, but they also voiced their longing for guidance and support from first-generation pastors.

Striving to maintain the honor balance

Korea’s culture is one that emphasizes shame and honor. One participant recalled a time when he counseled the son of a senior pastor who shared that his father had beaten him with a kendo stick for coming to church late one day. The young man had said that his father had shouted at him, “Don’t you dare do these things! Don’t you know how this reflects on me?” The second-generation pastor remarked, “It’s heartbreaking. It’s all about the image. It’s about how I look. It’s not about you. It’s not about relationships.”

Because the group, not the individual, is of utmost importance, bringing honor and avoiding practices that bring shame or dishonor to the group is crucial. David deSilva suggests that honor is the respect in which a person is held by the group. Shame, in contrast, signifies being seen as less than valuable because the individual’s behavior is contrary in opposition to the values of the group. ⁹ Furthermore, when a boy or a man, for example, is disgraced, he brings shame to himself and to his entire family; most important, he brings dishonor to his father. His family’s name and, in particular, his parents’ place in the community are threatened.

Shame is a strong motive keeping individuals from behaving in certain manners. Because participants did not want to cause their families to lose face, many continued to serve at the Korean-language church, even in the face of various conflicts.

Based on the Eastern value of performance, one’s level of involvement or function in the church is often interpreted as one’s level of spirituality. Before leaving the immigrant church, Andy confessed he felt like a puppet in a show. “I was required to come every morning at 5:30 a.m. to morning prayer. I didn’t understand a word for the six years that I came out. Every single day I had to come out, and I thought that I would learn something, but I could never understand one thing. That was really hard, having to go through years and years of just having to sit through it. I had no choice, I had to be there; [when there were] revival services, I had to be there. I never understood one word.”

Being mindful of how their actions would reflect upon their parents had a limit, however, as the interviewed pastors eventually left the immigrant church. Interview participants described their frustrations as being due to the incongruence that developed in their hearts based on what they believed was right and the behavior that was expected of them.

Struggling with due order

In East Asia, including South Korea, the teachings of Confucius are the source of regulations involving structural distinctions and expectations for social behavior. When there was great political turmoil in China around 500 BC, Confucius attributed the chaos to the lack of li (propriety, or proper conduct). ¹⁰ He proposed that order should be kept through the social interactions within five relationships, all but the last involving a hierarchy: ruler to subject, parent to child, husband to wife, older to younger, and friend to friend. ¹¹

The need to maintain hierarchical order, however, often frustrates EM pastors, since second-generation individuals are taught concepts of equality and mutual input in the American school system. As a result, EM pastors become disgruntled when first-generation pastors make an executive decision about the EM. Second-generation pastors reported longing to have input regarding major decisions. Participants recalled having to follow orders from first-generation Korean members just because they were older. Ian said, “When I talk about hierarchy, I’m talking about Korean culture. You know, the older the wiser, the younger the dumber. The older people know how to run the church, and the younger are supposed to just shut up and do as told.”

Recognizing similar experiences, Jim stated, “Unfortunately, a lot of my pastor friends have been burned. Just feeling that kind of traditional Korean mentality of ‘I’m older, you’re younger; you do what I say.’ And not feeling valued or appreciated for all that they do, and they just have to follow orders, otherwise you’re out.”

Children of immigrant parents are caught between two polar-opposite worldviews: East versus West, hierarchy versus egalitarianism. Y. Hertig suggests that minority children naturally lean toward egalitarian values because they want to be part of the majority culture. ¹² One participant shared, “It’s unfair. We did not have a choice to be in the margins. It was our parents’ decision, so we’ve forever become marginal.”

Peter decided that it was time for him to leave his first-generation Korean immigrant church when his senior pastor rebuked him, saying, “You’re being rebellious. You’re going ahead of God. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I am your authority, and I tell you when you can leave.” In the Korean culture, when a second-generation pastor disagrees with an elder, the second-generation pastor is seen lacking respect. Peter Cha, Paul Kim, and Dihan Lee state that second-generation Korean Americans “are no longer malleable and silent. . . . Influenced by American culture and its social values, these young adults are asserting their opinions, claiming their rights and even challenging the elders’ traditional value systems and perspectives. Many immigrant parents and community leaders, meanwhile, are hurt and alarmed by their young people’s actions, causing some to react by digging deeper into their traditional mode of thinking and practice.” ¹³

Strict Eastern values result in a strain in the relationship between the two generations. Second-generation individuals shared their struggle to balance different worldviews while they served in the immigrant church because what was expected of them did not resonate with their own core values.

Searching for support

In the midst of identity struggles, second-generation pastors desire guidance and direction from senior pastors. One participant shared,

I would really liked to have had a better relationship with the head pastor . . . and I became angry that I didn’t have one. . . . I’m sure there are common values, but not ones that were placed on the [table] that we could grab on to together. The longing for a male mentor, not having a father especially—that really hurt. I wanted someone who would be like an Uncle Phil to me, from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You know, slap me in the butt when I was wrong but hug me and love me in my ideas even if they were crazy.

Some have even suggested that the relationship between the senior pastor and EM pastor reflects the relationship between the father and son at home. Paul commented that resentment toward the senior pastor “is from wounds. I know for sure they had no love or they did not have a good relationship with their father. So they repeat that pattern everywhere they go. . . . The whole thing about the authority issue that is not dealt with properly has a way of working itself out in church conflict. A lot of things that I hear the second generations complain about regarding issues with the first-generation authorities or mind-sets or positions, almost verbatim is reflective of their own relationship with their own parents.”

Second-generation EM pastors currently serving in the immigrant church continue to testify to this longing for guidance. Follow-up interview sessions revealed that when they were younger, many of the pastors had turned to their senior pastors for guidance, since many of them had felt abandoned and were unable to establish strong identities at home.

Interviews further exposed that those who grew up without a father figure looked to their senior pastor not only as a spiritual leader but also as a surrogate father. Derick admitted, “I really wanted to learn and feel empowered rather than just take on a role as a pastor and not be acknowledged. I became just another worker, so when I left, someone else came in and took that spot. . . . I wanted to learn what it meant to share a lifestyle, really experience learning through relationships and mentorship. The very nature of how we did ministry was all outside the church. It’s not like we could hang out with the senior pastor.”

However, many second-generation pastors were hurt when they did not find the relationship that they had longed for. Instead of finding a safe haven at church, they found themselves in the exact situation as what they had experienced at home. One pastor put it this way, “It’s almost like a latchkey-kid syndrome. We grew up by ourselves; individuals who are mentored by godly individuals are really rare stories.” Consequently, second-generation leaders have left the immigrant church to gather their own identities and construct safe places to express their values.

Practical implications

The immigrant Korean American church is unique; it is here that East more directly meets West. If there is no effort from both parties to bridge cultural and generational differences, the first-generation church may find itself completely alienated from its children. Not only does this prospect require grace from both parties to understand and bridge cultural differences, but it also calls for both generations to approach the other as if approaching a completely different and foreign culture. Because first- and second-generation Korean Americans look alike and often even enjoy the same foods, they expect the other generation to think and be just like themselves. The two generations, however, are worlds apart; intentional relationship-building is required to bring healing to years of hurt and misunderstanding.

People may think that mission trips take place only to distant lands, but it is worth viewing the immigrant church itself as a mission field. It is here within the immigrant church that different cultures, identities, and values can be brought together by God’s grace. And while these differences should be celebrated, they have all too often become areas for strain and confusion. The immigrant church must adopt an open-mindedness when approaching the other generation. Just as people prepare to go overseas by studying the language, culture, and customs before their trip, so it is important to be intentional in bridging cultural gaps between first- and second-generation individuals within the immigrant church.

This article is not meant to argue whether or not it is appropriate for second-generation pastors to leave the immigrant church. Rather, I have sought only to understand the longings and struggles of second-generation pastors. Only through intentional reaching out to each other will there be reconciliation between the two generations. Such reaching out to bridge differences may include “coffee dates” that allow room for getting to know the other, church events that are led by second-generation members as opposed to the parent generation, and slowing down and opening up agendas to make room and hear the opinions and thoughts of the other generation.

Further research

While the findings of this study provide insight in explaining the struggles of second-generation Korean American leaders that eventually led them to move away from first-generation immigrant churches, further research would be beneficial. In addition to interviewing more second-generation pastors, it would be helpful to interview second-generation lay leaders and members of first-generation churches to compare their experiences to those reported here. Furthermore, in order to better understand the phenomena as a whole, first-generation immigrant Korean American pastors could also be interviewed. Hearing all sides of the story may lead to a more comprehensive understanding.