Rape or ‘NOT’ Rape: Analysis of (Six) Case Studies and Narrative of Victims

The Aim and Scope

Although theoretical studies have made a significant contribution to understanding rape within South Asian communities, issues regarding the individual experience of female victims are largely undocumented (Ahmed et al., 2009; Dasgupta, 1996). The utility of interrogating single case studies in order to test sophisticated theoretical postulations about interlinked and idiosyncratic phenomena has been demonstrated across a range of social scientific fields (Yin, 2009). The case study analysis that follows is offered in this spirit. It focuses on interviews with victims of rape that comprise just a small part of research work titled ‘Human Rights Violation of Rape Victims: A Sociological Study in Delhi City’. The period of the research was from 1 January 2008 to 30 June 2012.

Methodology

The pen portrait of Abdhija Jha (name changed, 17 years old), Namita (name changed, 13 years), Mahika (name changed, 16 years old), Amaruta (name changed, 15 years old), Vaishnavi (name changed, 17 years old) and Hiya (name changed, 17 years old) that follows is derived from the four interviews that I conducted with each victim using the Free Association Narrative Interview Method (Hollway & Jefferson, 2000). These six case studies were selected out of 130 rape cases collected as a part of research work carried out in a span of 4 years. These cases were selected for its peculiarity as the victims of these cases had told the researcher explicitly that they had consented for establishing a sexual relationship with the accused except in one case, where the parents themselves had put the victim in vulnerable position later, did not even register the case as ‘known offender case’ in police station.

This article considers how notions of ‘honour’ intersect with women’s experience of rape by examining interview data collected during the research and presenting a narrative analysis of the rape of six women. This analysis focuses on how these women conceptualize their own experiences of rape in the stories they tell, how they interpret their lived experiences of rape and also reveals the culturally defined nature of their responses to rape. As such, the article illuminates the personal and social issues surrounding rape within the community and what can be learnt from these case studies and narratives to strengthen attempts to address rape in society. There are particular difficulties when seeking to engage rape survivors in research, for example, gaining access, particularly where this is mediated by gatekeepers, parents, neighbours, and so on, and ensuring ethical concerns, matters of confidentiality and anonymity are adequately addressed.

Conceptual Clarification

The offence of rape is one which is committed by a man who has a sexual intercourse with a woman against her will, without her consent or even with her consent when that consent has been obtained by putting her in fear of death or hurt, where by fraud when he is not her husband, he obtains her consent by making her believe that he is another man to whom she is, or believes herself to be lawfully married, when she is intoxicated or when she is under 18 years of age irrespective of her consent (Section 375 Rape, The Indian Penal Code (45 of 1,860) and Sub-section (a) of Section 375 Rape, The Criminal Law (Amendment) Act, 2013). ‘Penetration is sufficient to constitute the sexual intercourse necessary to the offence of rape’. The research study had focused only on the rape by a man on a woman through vaginal-penile penetration/ intercourse. In Sub-section (1) of Section 376 Punishment for Rape, it is mentioned

A man convicted of an offence of rape is punished with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than seven years but may extend to ten years or for life and shall also be liable to fine (Ibid.). “Victim” means a person who has suffered any loss or injury caused by reason of the act or omission for which the accused person has been charged and the expression “victim” includes his or her guardian or legal heir (Sub-section (wa) of Section 2 Definitions, The Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973). “Rape victim” should be addressed as “victim” as mentioned in the judgement State of Karnataka vs Puttaraja [2003 (8) Supreme 364].

Age and Consent for Elopement, Sex and Marriage

Elopement is nothing but an act of running away from one’s place cooperatively with one’s loved one with an aim or plan of getting married (Vats, 2018). In India, it is usually witnessed that an act of elopement takes place for the reason that the people who intend to get married want to avoid different kinds of objection from parents and relatives or religious barriers (Ibid.). For an elopement to be valid and legal, it is necessary that both the parties involved must be major according to The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and the elopement must be consensual. In Section 5, Condition for a Hindu Marriage, it is mentioned: ‘A marriage may be solemnized between any two Hindus, if: (iii) the bridegroom has completed the age of twenty one years and the bride the age of eighteen years at the time of the marriage’. In accordance with the Sub-section (1) of Section 3 Child ² marriages to be voidable at the option of the contracting party being a child, of The Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, 2006, where it is mentioned: ‘Every child marriage, whether solemnised before or after the commencement of this Act, shall be voidable at the option of the contracting party who was a child at the time of the marriage’.

According to The Criminal Law (Amendment) Act, 2013 and The Protection of Children against Sexual Offences Act (POCSO), 2012, the minimum age for giving consent for sex in India is 18 years for both the boy and the girl. Therefore, any consent given by a minor girl in order to conclude an elopement would be invalid and then, charges of rape, kidnapping or abduction can be filed against the boy in such instances. No charges of rape can be framed against the boy in the cases where a boy and a girl who are major according to the law, elope with consent. The outcome of elopement can sometimes be really profound. An act of elopement is often followed by immense actions and attempts by the parents and relatives of the parties involved in the elopement for threatening, grievously hurting or even killing the boy and the girl involved.

Analysis of Narratives

True communication involves listening to and participating in the creation of the story: the storytelling relationship. In a research setting, stories emerge as a result of the interaction between interviewer and participant (Rosenthal, 1993). The transcript, therefore, acts as an ‘artificial construct’ of a lived oral conversation (Kvale, 1996). Analysis must examine this relationship, acknowledging the fact that the interview transcript is jointly constructed: it is a negotiated product of social interaction, not a ‘pure’ and objective document that represents a definite account of the interviewee’s experiences of sexual violence (Gill, 2009). Thus, the transcripts examined in this article are authentic, though descriptions of the interviewees’ subjective experiences ³ .

Case Study I (Affair, Elopement, Change of Mind: Victim Gave Up Under Parental Pressure in Police-Station)

Abdhija Jha (name changed) was a school going girl; studying in class XII. Her parents had recently shifted from Bihar to Delhi. They found it difficult to settle in Delhi initially but later, became familiar and comfortable in the city’s environment. She vehemently said ‘my parents were amused to see how openly the girls interacted with boys’. Her parents were very loving and caring though, they put restrictions on her mobility and also put a cap on meetings and outing with friends, and a number of friends she should have. ‘I did not mind it’ Abdhija specified as she was familiar with such rules at her house even in Bihar. ‘I thought this was all good for me. I was admitted to a new school and very soon, I made many new friends. I was very happy’. ‘Although, we were just a year old in the colony, it felt as if we were always here’, she went on. ‘The school life was very enjoyable much different from my previous school in Madhubani, Bihar’.

One day, the school principal paid a visit to her class. The visit of the NGO was arranged for the school. The students were previously briefed about what the interaction would constitute of. A very nice looking gentleman walked in the classroom smiling and carrying a heavy bag. ‘It seemed a little awkward when he started talking about sanitary napkins. When a male discusses about menstruation, it seems odd may be because females have always been taught to be ashamed of it’, Abdhija stated. Ronith Kanth (name changed, 25 years old) had come to educate the female students about how to use sanitary pads, benefits of using it, how to dispose them etc. ‘We were flattered by his talk and also by his looks’; not only ‘me’ but half of the class females’, she blushed while saying that. ‘He even answered all our queries without any hesitation and with utmost patience’. There was a painting competition organized by the school after a few months, it was an interschool competition. Ronith had been invited as one of the guests. They had never spoken to each other before. This was the first time; he waved at her and called out to her. She felt very shy, did not know how to react, so simply walked away from there.

Ronith followed her. He called out to her again. Abdhija was surprised to know that he knew her name. He just came in her way and straight away asked her whether she was free after the event. ‘He told me that he will wait for me at the main gate of the school’; Abdhija kept wondering hearing that. ‘I thought about not going but my friends told me not to think much and just go’. That day, Ronith took her to a restaurant. They had a long conversation. He spoke about his family, job and future plans, and even asked about her family and her likes/dislikes. He called her up the same night. Once, they began talking, it just never stopped. They spoke to each other every day for long. There was a time when they were about to be caught. Abdhija’s father had asked for the mobile; he wanted to make a call. She had never deleted any of his messages. ‘Thank God! he just returned the phone after making a call. I was so relieved’, she said. After frequently meeting each other for around three months, one such evening, he proposed her for marriage. He wanted to settle in life; give a name to their relationship. He said ‘enough of hiding; we have been meeting secretly for quite long. Anyways, we aren’t doing anything wrong. We love each other. It’s time, we get married’. Abdhija got scared hearing this. Ronith wanted to go public with their relationship. ‘I stopped him from telling others about out affair’, she insisted on more time for deciding for marriage. From then on, he always contended on meeting her parents for discussing about their marriage.

Since, six months of their affair, the arguments regarding marriage became so regular that she dreaded meeting him. Ronith was persuading her to share news about their affair with her parents. ‘I was very scared, I kept deferring his request. Ronith started doubting my loyalty towards him; I had to break free from this clutch. I agreed for the marriage but, with one condition; without informing my parents about it. We marry now, however, inform our parents on appropriate time’, I told him. She apprised him of the condition of her house; her father would never agree for an inter-caste marriage. Now, the question was how the marriage would be solemnized. ‘I suggested that we go to a different place and get married and then, return to our parents’. He instantly liked the idea. Abdhija did not know what to say, so to escape from his questioning; she purported this. ‘I was not clear about marriage. He made all plans; I was instructed to follow it’.

One day, Abdhija came out to go to school; she had also packed some clothes. She and Ronith left for Varanasi. They stayed at the house of Ronith’s friend for few days. His friend Viraj (name changed) hired for a Pundit ⁴ , all Puja ⁵ Samagri and located the Mandir ⁶ also. They got married on the third day of elopement. ‘I think I was very happy at that time. Ronith had purchased many dresses for me. Viraj used to update us about latest developments in the case. Ronith was prepared that a case would get registered by my parents. I was seventeen at that time. We could not get married in the court. I had stayed with him for six months. This was the first time; I stayed away from my parents. This filled my heart with strong poignant feeling’. She said.

Ronith had planned their marriage life elaborately two months prior to their elopement. He had applied for his job transfer to Varanasi, and shifted within a month to make all the arrangements. He came to Delhi to pick Abdhija and they both travelled to Varanasi. She described her feelings in the following words. ‘As the days went by, I became more distressed. Living away from my parents was heart rending. Ronith finally made up his mind to take me to my parents. The moment I arrived at my home each event unfolded so abruptly. My husband Ronith was forcibly taken to police station along with me. The way my parents were crying it tore my heart. I was badly shaken looking at them distraught’.

From the time my mother had seen me she kept saying ‘Ladka ise bahla fhusla kar le gaya tha (The boy had tricked her to go with him). Meri beti ko kuchh khila pila diya tha, varna meri beti aisa kuchh karti! (My daughter was fed something by the boy, otherwise; my daughter would ever do such a thing). Woh toh bahut masoom hai (She is very innocent)’. Her parents kept saying that so long as they were in police station. Abdhija did not know what to say, she just kept quiet. She said ‘I did not hear much what was being spoken. I was in an emotional turmoil. I came into my senses only when I heard my name being shouted by my husband. He was taken into custody. I came back home with my parents’.

Abdhija said

Maine socha woh mujhe deewano ki tarah pyar karta hai. Magar jab mere maa-pitaji ne samjhaya ki usne tumhein mati bhramit kar diya, yeh vishwas dilaya ki mere se shadi karna sabse sahi kadam hai. Tab mujhe apni galti ka ehshas hua. Main wahi karoongi jo mere maa-pitaji kahenge; unhein main aur chot nahin pahucha sakti. Mujhe bas apni padhai par dhyan dena hai. Beete hue kal ko bhul jana chahti hoon.

Translation: I thought he loved me madly, but when my parents explained to me about how he had brainwashed me into believing that I should marry him and this is the best thing to do at that time. Then, I realized my mistake. I’ll do whatever my parents want but never hurt them anymore. For now, I want to focus on my studies. I want to forget all about my past.

Author’s Interpretation: Abdhija felt that she made a mistake by eloping with Ronith without informing her parents. She realized her mistake after her parents explained to her the reason behind eloping. According to her parents ‘Ronith convinced her to elope so that she will have the best life, making her believe that he is the best person to marry and he alone can provide her the best life’.

The investigating officers of this case had something to say. There were one woman police officer and a male officer of Sub-Inspector Rank. The officers described the scene when the girl was brought to the police station by her parents along with the boy. ‘The parents started crying and asked us to add the clauses of rape to FIR (First Information Report) ⁷ . The girl remained quiet but, when she saw her parents crying repeatedly, she broke down. All the while, her mother and father kept saying ‘Beta, hamari jati-biradari mein badi badnaami hogi. Tumari jindagi khatam ho jayegi. Hum kahin muah dikhane layak nahin rahenge. Woh ladka tumhare liye thik nahin hai, warna tumhein maa-pita se door nahin karta’.

Translation: Daughter, we’ll become infamous in our caste and fraternity. Your life will be over. We would not be able to show our faces anywhere. That boy is not good for you; otherwise, he would not have taken you afar from your mother–father.

Author’s Interpretation: The parents persuaded their daughter to register a rape case against the boy. The boy was of a different caste, so the parents were anxious about their reputation being tarnished in their caste and fraternity. They reasoned with their daughter in order to change her mind that if the boy was really good, he would not have ever persuaded to take you far from us.

The parents tried their best to convince the daughter. According to police, Abdhija broke down under parental pressure and consented to their version of the story and just nodded her head in an agreement.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: When I first saw Abdhija, she was quiet and timid; her parents did most of the talking. I admit that it was a tedious task to convince them to give me personal time with their daughter to talk. It seemed the parents had already made up their mind about what their daughter is capable of doing and what she thinks. Abdhija was mostly lost whenever I put to her any questions. I would reiterate the question yet she would fail to understand, I had to literally shake her to get answers. Anyways, she answered all the questions in a few words. She was suffering from guilt feeling of betraying her boyfriend as well as hurting her parents’ emotions. Her life took such a twist and turns just because she chose to elope with the boy.

Case Study II (Affair, Elopement, Victim Remained Adamant About Consensual Relationship in Police-Station)

I entered the house where I saw two girls squirting on the ground and a woman nearby cooking on a gas stove. In FIR copy, it was mentioned that ‘two girls (sisters) were raped by two different boys (brothers), where a boy had raped a girl (it was not a case of gang rape). They were kidnapped, taken to a different place and raped’. The floor of the house was much lower than the ground level. There were just one room and many windows; a total of six. When the woman saw me; she pretended as if she did not notice me. I went ahead and proceeded to talk by greeting her. She simply said ‘whoever comes, they go straight to talk to those girls, so, if you have come to talk to them please go to them, don’t come to me’. Well, it was the very rude response. Anyways, I had to talk to those girls and get details on the case. Those two girls looked at me with awe and strangeness. I told them that I am a researcher and have come to talk to them about the case registered by their father at the police station. The eldest sibling Namita (name changed, 13 years old) responded ‘what do you want to know’? I smiled and said ‘everything that you would be comfortable sharing’. By this time, I had also acquired a place beside them.

The woman had left the house that means we were just three in the house. Everything about the house seemed incongruous, too many windows in just one room and all open, people peeping and there was so much noise. There were at least two to three faces looking inside the room from each four windows. Two windows had its opening towards the pavement, maybe that’s the reason there were no faces on those windows. It was almost impossible to talk to these females under the constant gaze. I decided to take action and shouted at them. Slowly, the crowd dispersed and the room felt completely silent. Alas! I had room to myself The first question, I asked the girls ‘Is your house always like this, so much noise and so many people peeping inside your house?’ Namita succinctly said ‘No, it’s only when the case was registered at the police-station; since then’. ‘Does your mother react to such nuisance?’ She said ‘yes, but, the people are very stubborn, and she has given up on them’. She also mentioned the woman in the house was her stepmother and the child, her stepbrother.

Somehow, I could not stop myself from asking questions about their relationship with the stepmother. Namita said that her stepmother does not love nor hate them. ‘Maa (mother) does not care about us, treats us as if we are nobody but, never hurl any bad words. She simply ignores us’. She also said ‘I feel pity for my small sister Niharika (name changed, twelve years) who longs for mother’s love especially when she watches Maa caressing and loving our stepbrother. She will stand and watch them for long. Maa will not even blink an eye towards her. I think being ignored hurts her the most’. I asked ‘what about the father? Does he care about you both?’ Namita responded ‘not as much he cared before; when my mother was alive. But, he definitely worries about our studies’. People started to peep again from the windows, I decided to leave.

I spoke to a social worker from that area, she told me to get the girls to her NGO in my next visit. When I asked these girls to come to NGO, they agreed, I was so thankful. Namita answered my questions comfortably and also had questions to ask. Niharika was least interested and not even bothered to listen to the conversation. Namita had a fair understanding of what she did but, did not understand or care about the consequences. She narrated the whole story.

Namita had a sexual relationship with Tejas, but, she vehemently denied that Niharika had any sexual relationship with Ambuj. It’s only when these girls returned back along with those two boys, a rape case was registered against both the boys by the father of these girls.

Namita observed

Mere papa ko apne par bahut garv hai aur isliye woh auron ko apne samne kuchh nahin samajhte hain. Tejas ‘Teli’ ⁸ jati ka hai aur main ‘Rajput’ hoon, yeh bhi ek badi wajah hai balatkar ka mamla darz karne ki.Unhone maa aur unke parivaar se bhi jhoota bola, pehli shadi ki baat chhupai. Saja ke haqdaar toh mere papa hain, unhiko milni chahiye. Humein bhi bahut baad mein pata chala unki dusri shadi ke bare mein. Mujhe samajh hai ki maine kya kiya. Tejas ke saath main ghumne gayi thi. Main use pyar karti hoon, par mujhe pata hai is pyar ka koi matlab nahin hai. Main apne pairon par khari hona chahti hoon.

Translation: My father is very proud of himself, so he does not consider anyone equal to him. Tejas is of ‘Teli’ caste and I am ‘Rajput’. This may also be one of the reasons for registering a rape case. He has told lies to mother and her family, concealed the matter of first marriage from them. My father deserves to be punished, therefore, he should be. We also came to know about his second marriage much later. I understand very well what I have done. I had travelled with Tejas to a different place. I love him, but, I realize that this love has no meaning. I want to stand on my feet.

Author’s Interpretation: Namita’s father is a proud man. He did not consider Tejas to be of equal status because of his caste ‘Teli’. Teli caste is considered to be inferior to Rajput caste to which he belongs. He disapproved of his daughter Namita’s friendship with Tejas from the beginning. Moreover, it infuriated him further when he found out that Namita had run away with Tejas, so he purposely registered a rape case against both the brothers to take vengeance and teach them a lesson. Namita had a fair understanding of what she had done. She knew such love affair does not have any significance. She wants to live her life independently.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: When I first met Namita, I had the impression of her as bubbly and full of life. When she started talking to me, I retracted what I had thought of her. She was quite mature for her age. She eloped with the guy to seek her father’s attention and did not leave her sister behind as she considers herself to be her only guardian. Not realizing much that our social system is unforgiving and unforgettable of such incidences, they elevate pressure and mentally harass such females and their families under the false pretence of social values and beliefs. Namita seemed to be determined of what she wants in life. She also gives tuition classes to the children in the neighbourhood and has not taken any pocket money for the last 2 years from her father.

Case Study III (Rape, Offender: Close Relative, Case Registered as ‘Stranger Rape Case’ in Police-Station)

A ‘stranger rape case’ was registered in FIR, despite the fact, the victim knew the offender from before. The case was very complicated. It was mentioned in the FIR; that on a day of puja, held in the neighbourhood, an unknown man had pushed the girl name Mahika (name changed, 16 years old) inside the house when she was opening the lock of the front door, closed the door and committed rape. He then left. The youngest daughter in the family was raped. Its only when I discussed the case in detail with the parents and the victim, veil over the secrecy surrounding rape offender was lifted. It’s not an unknown man, but their son-in-law Daiwik (name changed, 27 years old) was the culprit. It was a heart-breaking moment for the parents to discover this truth. The parents realized their dreadful mistake, they committed 4 years ago. The seed for this crime has been sown when they got their eldest daughter Mitali (name changed, 21 years old) married to her rapist. A neighbour Daiwik had committed rape against Mitali 4 years ago, when she was 17 years old. The parents instead of reporting it to Police; wedded the victim to the offender.

The parents reported the youngest daughter Mahika’s rape but refuted that they know the offender. They were so broken; did not know how to deal with the situation. The eldest daughter Mitali never wanted the case to be reported as she is completely dependent on the offender. She has also become the mother of his girl child. The parents were quite disheartened. This is how they described the situation:

Aaj humein lagta hai ki humnein apni badi beti ke saath jyadati ki. Use samjha-bujha kar usi aadmi se shadi kara di jisne uski jindagi kharab ki. Ab hamesha darr laga rahta hai ki woh dobara hamari chhoti beti ke saath wahi harkat naa kare. Samajh mein nahin aata ki kya karein. Ek taraf badi beti ka bhavishya daaw par laga hai, toh dusri taraf chhoti beti ki asmat par khatra mandra raha hai. Ab toh natni ki bhi chinta satati hai, kahin uske saath toh kuchh na ho jaye. Sayad humnein hi koi paap kiya hoga peechhle janam mein, jiske wajah se humein yeh sab bhugatna padh raha hai.

Translation: Today, we feel we have exercised extreme insensitivity towards our eldest daughter. We counselled her, and got her married to the same man who actually spoilt her life. We always feel scared what if he repeats the same act with our youngest daughter. We can’t fathom a way to deal with this. At one side, our eldest daughter’s future is at risk, on the other, a spell of danger surrounding our youngest daughter’s honour. We, now, worry about our granddaughter that nothing bad should happen to her. We might have only committed sin in the past life, that’s why we are paying it dearly.

Author’s Interpretation: The parents have realized now that they made a terrible mistake of forcing their elder daughter into marrying her rapist. All the while, this rapist had kept an eye on the youngest sibling. When he came across an opportunity he executed his intentions to rape. Now, the parents fear for their daughter Mahika, what if such an incident ever happens to her again and also for their granddaughter.

When I asked the father why didn’t he report the rape of his elder daughter? He said ‘Badnaami ki dar se. Agar logon ko pata chaljata to hamari badi beti se shadi kaun karta, waran dusri beti ka jeevan bhi barbaad ho jata’.

Translation: He said ‘fear of being disrepute. If people came to know then who would have married my elder daughter, else the life of my younger daughter could also be ruined.

Author’s Interpretation: Rape affects the social status of a woman in such a way that her status is ordained to be defined only as a rape victim. Such incident strongly influences her social stand, favouring the impersonation of rape victim becoming central to her identity than her personal identity. The people are enslaved to the idea of rape causing social harm that dishonours the victim so much so that personal harm caused by rape is undermined. The social status of a woman is judged based on her marital status. Being a victim of rape, she loses a golden opportunity to marry, the only set standard to establish her social identity. The neighbours vilify the victim once they come to know of her rape.

Mahika said ‘Meri izzat lut gayi. Jab Mitali didi ki shadi babujee ne karayee tab main sirf barah saal ki thi. Mujhe samajh nahin thi. Ab jo mera saath hua uske jimmedar sirf mere jija hi nahin, pura parivaar hai. Mitali didi ke saath unhone kitna galat kiya.

Translation: I have been dishonoured. When my parents got my elder sister Mitali married, I was only 12 years old. I was not mature. Now, this incident has happened to me, it’s not only my brother-in-law but, the whole family is responsible. They did utterly wrong to my elder sister Mitali.

Author’s Interpretation: Mahika uses the same phrase as mentioned by Gill (2009). The victim holds the whole family in entirety responsible for letting rape happened to her rather than solely blaming the offender.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: This story was shocking as there was already a rape victim in the house who was married to her rapist to hide the incidence of rape. The victim was indeed punished for her whole life as she was now his legally wedded wife. This might have emboldened him. The parents conveniently forgot the incident. All this while, the rapist was around a potential victim but, nobody suspected his intentions. Till I met them, the offender was still a part of the family, though was living in the next neighbourhood. Fearing a probable backlash from the society, the parents had not still revealed the identity of the offender to the police. The second victim was still vulnerable and the third potential victim was actually living with the offender in his house (offender’s daughter). I had encouraged them to report the incident. Anyways, not wasting more time, I had called the SHO ⁹ of that area and reported the whole story. The offender is now in police custody. The social stigma is so strong that it prevented the parents from even reacting to the crime, although, they were aware of what happened was utterly wrong and what should be done to seek justice.

Case Study IV (Affair with 42 Years Old Married Man and a Father of Two Children, Elopement, Victim Remained Adamant About Consensual Relationship in Police-Station, Victim is in Nirmal Chhaya ¹⁰ )

This is a unique case as 15-year-old girl was having an affair with a 42-year-old man. He was married with two children. When I asked questions from Amaruta (name changed) about her boyfriend’s age, it was true. She had lost her father during her childhood, since then, her mother never got married. Her mother Nayantara (name changed) sacrificed her future marriage prospects to support her daughter in her endeavours. Nayantara was heartbroken to learn about her daughter having an affair with middle-aged, married man. She always dreamt about seeing Amaruta living a respectable life which she could not afford. Amaruta was loved immeasurably by her mother. She worked as a maid, and also did tailoring work to support her daughter’s education and gave her the best in life she could in her capacity.

Amaruta had met Hredhaan (name changed) on the occasion of bhandara (A religious feast). He had organized havan ¹¹ on the land which he had brought in her neighbourhood. ‘He is a big businessman’. Amaruta said ‘he had initially liked me a lot but were afraid to approach me. One day, while returning from school, he offered me a lift. We began talking. After like four to five meetings, he gave me a gold chain as a sign of his deep love and affection for me. He has also promised he would divorce his wife to marry me’. When I asked her ‘does his wife know that he is in love with you and wants to marry you?’ she responded ‘not really, as he is looking for a right moment to tell her all about our plans to marry. He is very clear about his goal of marrying me’.

Nayantara told me from the time Amaruta had met Hredhaan; she has lost interest in her studies. ‘The whole day, she only keeps admiring the gifts he has given her. She says too many lies and hides things from me. I am tired of explaining the consequences of such an affair to her. She is playing with her life’. Amaruta had eloped with Hredhaan many times. Only when she eloped the fourth time, her mother Nayantara registered a complaint of kidnapping and rape. Now, Hredhaan has been arrested. His wife had created ruckus accusing Amaruta of sharing an illicit relationship with her husband. The Lohri ¹² was being celebrated at that time; so many people had gathered to burn the fire in the evening and they were witness to such an incident. It caused them so much shame in the neighbourhood. Amaruta cried so much and now she hardly talks to her mother. She accuses her mother of spoiling her love life and bringing shame upon the family and Hredhaan’s family by making everything public. She is staying in Nirmal Chhaya and she was interviewed there.

Nayantara said ‘Meri beti ko meri baatein bahut buri lagti hain. Main agar use raste par nahin laa payi to meri zindagi hi bekar hai. Meri jeene ki wahi ek wajah hai. Bas! bhagwan se yehi dua mangati hoon ki woh phir se padai mein man lagai aur apni zindagi sudhar le.

Translation: My daughter finds all my talks bad. If I am not able to bring her on the track then my life is futile. She is the only purpose of my living. Alas! I only seek blessings from God that she again pays attention to her studies and make her life sublime.

Author’s Interpretation: Nayantara tried to explain to her daughter about what she was doing with her life. She still worries a lot about how to guide her on the right path. She can’t think of her life without her. Her only desire is that her daughter gets back to her studies and builds her life.

Amaruta said ‘Meri maa kabhi khus nahin rahna chahti aur meri kushiyon ko bhi aag laga di. Woh Hredhaan ke saath mera rista kabhi bante nahin dekh sakti thi, isliye use todne mein koi kasar nahin chodi. Ab woh shanti se jee rahi hai. Bahut matlabi aurat hai.Mera uske saath ab koi rishta nahin hai.

Translation: My mother never wants to be happy and ruined my happiness as well. She couldn’t bear to see my relationship being formed with Hredhaan so she did not leave even a single stone unturned to break my relationship with him. Now, she is living peacefully. She is a selfish woman. I don’t share any relation with her now.

Author’s Interpretation: Amaruta is broke because of the blow she suffered in a relationship as a result of a complaint/FIR filed by her mother. She does not understand the social dynamics of a relationship between a man and a woman outside marriage. She is not keen to study anymore but wants to build her future around her marriage with Hredhaan. Nayantara is somewhere right about her opinion about Hredhaan. Hredhaan already had an affair with Amaruta for a year and a half, yet he had not taken a concrete step in solemnizing marriage with her. His wife came to know about his affair only after FIR was filed and the police had approached his house to arrest him. He denied sharing any relation with Amaruta and told police that she has been coaxing him to get married. Hredhaan was furious on being brought to the police station on charges of rape and kidnapping. He even denied any relation with Amaruta in front of her but this had no effect on her love for him. Nayantara visited her daughter number of times in Nirmal Chhaya and told her daughter all the stories told by police but it seemed all words fell on deaf ears. Amaruta still blamed her mother for Hredhaan’s changed attitude and behaviour because of her mother filing FIR against him.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: Amaruta could not imagine her future without Hredhaan. She came from a society where marriage is considered the ultimate future for achieving happiness and settlement in life. She was not mature enough to understand the motive of Hredhaan for sharing illicit relationship with her. Her mother Nayantara also failed to convince her to break away all ties with Hredhaan. Amaruta regards her mother as an obstacle in her marriage to Hredhaan. Her basic necessities were not fulfilled due to her mother working in an unorganized sector and barely earning enough to survive. Her mother being a young widow and very poor had to fight hard in this patriarchal society to be able to live and protect her daughter. It was easy for Hredhaan to have won over Amaruta by gifting her expensive items. Moreover, she had not seen a man around since her childhood, so she felt more secured with Hredhaan, a man of wealth and status.

Case Study V (Affair, Victim Gave Up Under Parental Pressure in Police-Station)

When I reached the house of Vaishanavi (name changed), she was all alone. It was late evening when I was planning to head back to my house. I thought it would be rude to visit a victim’s house at this time. Since I was close to the area mentioned in the address, it propelled me to find out how far the house was and to my astonishment, I was actually standing in front of the house. The person who pointed out the house advised me not to go as I may end up finding no one at the house. One of the family members was hospitalized, so, most often; the family was away visiting the hospital. While the person who had helped me locate the house was still conversing, someone actually opened the door of the house and went in. I excused myself and headed straight to the house. When I knocked on the door, a young girl opened the door. She seemed to be in hurry. My face seemed unfamiliar to her so she felt irritated. Before I could let out a word; she straight away made a sign to me to leave. I told her that I have come from the nearby police station and they have given me your address. She asked me to come inside.

I introduced myself as a researcher and made my intention very clear. I got to my business as usual but, before I could ask her questions about the incident; she started narrating her story so well, as if, she had been longing to share her story all this while. I was quick to take notes but, when she saw me doing that all of sudden, she became quiet. I could not understand the reason why. The story had just begun. She needed to be convinced again about the research work. This is a painstaking effort continuously required on the part of a researcher. ‘You are not to lose your temper; instead, be grateful as the victims are letting you delve deeper into their personal life’. She asked me ‘whether I would like some tea?’ I wanted the conversation flowing so I volunteered to make tea. The story unfolded much alike each layer of onion peeled one by one. Vaishnavi met a boy Veerbhadra at her school park. Veerbhadra was at that time pursuing first year of Bachelor’s degree in Commerce college, whereas, Vaishnavi studying for her class XII. She said ‘she immediately fell for him’. She was all giggles while talking about him.

Vaishnavi soon found out about Veerbhadra; his phone number; his whereabouts. She made a daring move by making a call to him first. That’s unusual for a girl to make the first move according to her. He responded warmly. From then on, the phone call was random and regular. They even started meeting very often. They found it hard to stay away from each other as they were madly in love. She said ‘we felt so strongly about each other that other things had lost meaning in this world for us. But, I have taken my studies very seriously. I scored 87% in class X (CBSE Board) exam and stood third in my school. The medical coaching has enrolled me for preparation for medical entrance without any charges’. She continued her conversation. ‘Someone from the neighbourhood saw us together in a nearby park and complained to my parents. My parents asked me if I know this man. I responded positively that I know him well. They became curious whether I was having some kind of affair with him. I simply assented to their query’. They warned her not to meet him anymore. Vaishnavi had greater plans for her relationship. It wasn’t a passing affair but a serious one. When her parents came to know that she has still been meeting him then they registered FIR at the police station. Her parents had emotionally blackmailed her on the basis of sickness so she did not say anything in front of police. Veerbhadra was immediately arrested on the charge of rape. Whenever he got bail, he made time to meet her. Vaishnavi told me that recently she had also visited a clinic along with Veerbhadra to get an abortion. Both of them are very serious about their studies as well as their relationship.

Vaishnavi said

Maa-baba ne mujhe mazboor kiya ki main police-station mein kuchh na bolun. Baba ki haal-philhal mein bypass surgery hui hai. Unhone mujhe kasam dilayi thi. Main pure atharah saal ki hoon par police-station mein meri umar satarah likhwai kyunki mere school certificate mein satarah hai. Ye log meri bhalai nahin chahte, bas apni zid puri karna chahte hain. Unhein yeh baat nagawar gujri ki maine apne liye ladka pasand kar liya. Mera rista isliye tudwane ke pichhe pade hain taki meri shaadi apni pasand ki jagah karwa sakein.

Translation: My mother and father forced me to not to speak anything at police-station. My father underwent a bypass surgery recently. He had taken a promise from me. I am completely 18 years old but, in police station, my age is recorded as 17 years for the reason that in school certificate, 17 years have been documented. These people are not benevolent, they don’t want my future getting better; they only wish to fulfil their mulishness. It was an unpalatable fact for them that I have chosen a boy for myself. They are after me to break my relationship so that they can marry me in their choice of place.

Author’s Interpretation: The parents’ obstinate determination to pursue Vaishnavi to break her relationship with Veerbhadra did not still work out. She is resolute in her fight to maintain her relationship with her boyfriend as well as pursue higher studies. Her parents want to marry her as soon as her father is cured. They are not at all concerned about her studies or career. Her age as 17 years was purposely recorded in FIR so that the case would fall under the rubric ‘Statutory rape case’ ¹³ and she would be considered a minor. That means only her legal guardian can make decisions for her.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: Women in certain communities cannot make a decision independently for their future with respect to career or choosing a life partner. The parents find it offensive if the daughter has made up her mind to live life on her own terms. They may deploy tricks such as emotional blackmail to force them to consent to their conviction. When a woman marries a person of her choice against her parents’ wish; she is likely to be socially ostracized and in extreme cases, she may even be murdered for the sake of ‘honour’.

>Case Study VI (Affair, Marriage between a Hindu girl (17 years) and a Muslim boy (25 years), Victim remained adamant about Consensual Relationship in Police-Station, and now, Parent of a child (1 years old))

A Hindu girl Hiya (name changed) started having an affair with a boy in the neighbourhood. He was a Muslim. Both the families were in good terms so much so that they even celebrated festivals together. Hiya often met Shahid (name changed) during festivals celebrated in either house or in the neighbourhood. She attributed her strong liking for him to such meetings. Her father met with an accident. She approached him for help. He proved to be a guardian angel. Shahid even took a few days off and spent nights at the hospital. He was with Hiya and her family till her father had recovered completely. This made their relationship stronger.

They started meeting very often, it was obviously outside their home. Such affairs cannot be hidden for long. After just about four months of an affair, Hiya’s mother came to know about this. She overheard her conversation with Shahid. Shahid wanted to marry and Hiya agreed. Hiya’s parents were against it; so they registered an FIR against Shahid. It’s been more than 2 years that the case is still going. She is happily married to him and also a mother of his 1-year-old child. They desperately want to put an end to this case. The first thing they asked me when I met them and introduced myself as a researcher, as how to put to an end to this case. She said that ‘I am tired of watching my husband going to jail, applying for bail, waiting for it to be granted and also paying hefty fees to the lawyer. God only knows when will this case end? She stays with her in-laws. She also said that she is very happy with her in-laws and is equally sad as she does not get to spend much time with her husband. ‘My child is also suffering without any of its fault’. Her husband keeps coming back on bail, has spent lot of money till date. She has withstood her statement in the Court but the judge is yet to deliver a verdict in her case.

Hiya said

Mera parivaar meri shaadi ko nahin manta, humein chain se jeene nahin de raha. Dono parivaaron mein dushamani ho gayi hai. Humein bahut minnatein ki, par unpe koi asar nahin hua. Kisi tarah yeh mamla sulajh jaye aur mere pati par yeh khatra hamesha ke liye tal jaye.

Translation: My family does not validate my marriage; they don’t let us live in peace. There is enmity between two families. We entreated but it did not make any difference to them. Somehow, this case should be solved and my husband set is free from this danger forever.

Author’s Interpretation: Hiya became a mother during this turbulent times seeing her husband in and out of jail number of times. She along with her husband sought forgiveness from her parents but they did not budge. She only wishes to live a normal life with her husband free from fear of going to jail and her child.

(Based on the researcher’s notes taken during the fieldwork for this study)

Author’s Observation and Analysis: Hiya was studying for class XII exam (Higher Secondary Examination), when an accident of her father changed her course of life. She was utterly disturbed for four months so much so that she managed to appear for the examination of only three subjects. Her father spent around two and a half month at the hospital. Moreover, her family constituted of three members only, the father being hospitalized, the whole responsibility of looking after father and also constantly supporting mother had sucked all energy from her. Shahid provided all support during this time and won her trust. Now, they are married and also parents of a child. They want to enjoy a healthy and happy life in the company of each other. She has not dropped her studies after marriage but appeared for class XII exam through the open board and has completed the second year of bachelor’s degree through correspondence.