Somatic Movement with a Partner: Practice Elements and Health Benefits

Partner Work in Somatics

Moving in pairs is not very common in somatic movement classes. Most often, we focus on our own movements, the physical sensations in our own bodies, and our own inner world, while also being aware of and impacted by the other people in the group. Since somatic practices have such a strong focus on tracking your own sensations and coming into your own body, moving with another person could make this concentration more challenging.

However, there are somatic practices where the presence of the partner is essential. Contact Improvisation is a somatic method based on moving with a partner. It was developed in the United States, particularly out of the work of contemporary dancer and martial arts practitioner Steve Paxton, in the 1970s. Here, two partners learn to find a common center as they move together, with a part of the body constantly in touch with each other. They learn to trace and follow this point of contact—between one partner’s elbow and the other partner’s thigh, head, and chest; pelvis and pelvis; hand and back; knee and shin; and so on. Unlike in most partner dance practices, here there are no prescribed leaders and followers and no set gender roles. For example, in Contact Improvisation, a woman could lift, carry, and hold the man. The dance could easily unfold between two men or two women as well.

This improvisational practice asks for the ability to be fully present in the moment, to listen simultaneously to one’s own body and that of the other person, and to negotiate weight, gravity, speed, and direction together. This movement can be fluid and hypnotic to watch and to participate in—the movements seem to seamlessly transform from one shape to another. Practicing Contact Improvisation teaches the participants to cocreate in movement and to feel how their entire body, particularly the skin, becomes more “lively” or “alive” to sensation.

Being in constant contact with another being gives me information about the other person—the weight and temperature of their body, the texture of their muscles, the weight of their bones, and so on. It also gives me information about my own body. I learn something about my body through the other person’s touch. I am likely to move in ways in which I would not move if I were improvising by myself. This contact might make me more aware of certain body parts that I move less often or that are more obscure in my mind’s eye, such as the back, since most of our daily movements happen in front of the body. I might also discover aspects of my personality and habits that would not reveal themselves so clearly without being with a partner. New to Contact Improvisation, I remember discovering with dismay how I let my partner lead and take over and suggest movements while I was much more comfortable with following and responding. I realized, via movement, that I need to learn to initiate and place myself into the role of an equal in movement rather than only respond and create a space for the other person to express himself/herself.

Partner work is prominent in the Tamalpa Life/Art Process, a practice developed by dancer, choreographer, and author Anna Halprin and her daughter Daria Halprin. This therapeutic expressive arts method alternates between moving, writing, drawing, and performing by oneself and with a partner or in a group. Here, the partners do not necessarily touch and move together but are more often in the role of a witness. The partner holds the space for the other person to move and express, for example, in response to his/her drawing in the workshop. The witness then gives feedback in a format that is usually pre-given: “When I saw you do this movement, I sensed in my body physically … When I saw you do this movement, in my mind, I imagined … When I saw you do this movement, emotionally I felt …” The partners then exchange roles.

Being witnessed by a partner can be a deeply rewarding, insightful, and emotionally touching experience. It makes us feel seen in ways that might stay hidden or unexpressed in our daily lives. Feeling someone else’s full attention develops our courage and self-confidence and makes us more familiar with being in the spotlight, which is hard for many people. By watching the other person move, we learn to be present and to sharpen our skills of observation and kinetic memory—the ability to remember and recount movements later. In our daily lives, we do not typically take time to notice, recall, and verbalize how other people move or what and how they express with their bodies.

Knowing that the exercise involves recounting to the other what I saw and experienced while they moved and how I felt physically and emotionally makes me pay attention to the details in the other person’s movement. At the same time, the focus on my experience in the responses makes me pay attention to my own sensations and my imagination while I am watching. This type of focused bodily attention is becoming more and more important in the age where so much of our attention goes to digital devices and images on the screen rather than embodied physical and energetic experiences with other people.

Including Elements of Partner Work

Even if a somatic practice does not typically involve partner work, snippets of it can be successfully integrated into the existing formats. In my in-person somatic dance classes, I typically use partner dancing for some minutes in the class, for one or two songs in an hour-long experience. I use instructions and scenarios that are easy to follow in the moment, without the need for extensive explanations, which would slow down the class. The instructions could be as simple as “find a partner and dance together,” or “one person mimics the other’s moves and then switch the roles,” “find a way to move across the room together,” “one of you is a puppet master and the other one a puppet; pull the imaginary strings of the puppet,” or “imagine playing tennis together.” Or more playful and improvisational, such as “enact in movement in front of your partner one of your favorite moments of your summer holiday.” I could also use a small segment of witnessing: “One person dances, the other person watches and holds the space; then they switch roles.” This exercise could be more playful and involve some acting and over-the-top movements. Or it could be more soulful and authentic, where we do not act or aim to look in a certain way outwardly but follow the impulse to move that comes from inside of ourselves. I have used both of these formats: it depends on the group, the atmosphere, and the needs of the participants.

These small experiences with partner work add another dynamic, increase the variety of movements and experiences in the class, and are usually fun and refreshing for the participants. If the teacher is typically in the front of the classroom and constantly guiding, these moments also help the instructor take a break from being the leader. Partner work can foster ties of friendship in the group and give the participants a chance to listen to each other and create a “mini performance” together in an environment where the stakes are low. As soprano soloist and participant of my somatic dance classes, Merle Jalakas, noted in our interview, these moments of moving with another person can help us become more confident and are helpful for someone who is on the stage. “When you are on the stage, singing in a musical or an opera, and you have a partner, it is not so very easy to look into the eyes of that person and keep acting and singing and moving. We need to practice being with a partner.”

Touch

Another important way to use partner work in somatics is by including experiences of embodied anatomy and touch. ⁶ Here, the instructor needs to make sure that the participants are open to touch and, if need be, demonstrate and explain that the kind of touch used is educational and instructive. Embodied anatomy is particularly useful in somatic strength training and conditioning classes. Many people do not have a clear sense of the different parts of their bodies, the different muscles, and the bones. We have certain mental images that come from anatomy books and videos, but it is another matter to physically feel the movement of the shoulder blades and the collarbones or to sense the contractions in the triceps or the back muscles.

To help understand the body in an embodied, somatic way, I might ask one partner to hold his/her hands on the other person’s shoulder blades as the latter moves the shoulder blades up, down, to the front, and together. I might ask one person to put his/her hands on the sides or the back of the other person’s ribcage to give that person a kinetic experience with breathing to the sides and the back of the body. With a private client—again, if touch is welcomed—I give the person feedback on his/her muscles by holding my hand on the muscles that contract or expand. I invite the client to put his/her hand on my low back to other parts of the body to demonstrate an exercise or movement kinetically. Apprehending a movement verbally and visually might not be enough: with touch, we can often understand the movements faster, more clearly, and on a deeper level.

Embodied Intimacy

Body awareness and somatic techniques are used in classes and workshops where the goal is to enhance intimacy—physical, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual—between the two partners. For example, tantra workshops include exercises and experiences where the partners learn to connect to their own physical sensations and those of the other person through gaze, touch, breathing, massage, and movement. Embodied intimacy workshops highlight the importance of creating a sensual environment by addressing the different senses through aromas, sounds, textures, lights, and so on. Embodied intimacy workshops might include dancing and witnessing techniques as described above. The goal is to bring the two people closer together through the senses and deepened bodily awareness and emotional connection so that they can be present, in their bodies, not in their heads.

A couple of years ago, I attended an online somatic intimacy workshop led by movement educator and somatic healing guide Jonathan Mead and somatic practitioner and sexuality doula Ev’Yan Whitney. The workshop was not only meant for couples but also open for singles or people who were in a relationship but attended the workshop by themselves. If the participants were without a partner, the leaders invited them to use a mirror and to imagine that they are fostering a deep, intimate connection with themselves first of all, a necessary pillar for a relationship. The exercises involved gazing into each other’s eyes with an attention on breathing and physical sensations and gentle touch, such as holding one hand on the partner’s chest and one on our own heart. The exercises taught the participants what it feels like to be fully present in the moment, with attention on our own body and aware of the body and presence of the other person. These skills are necessary in intimate relationships where people often struggle to stay “in their bodies,” with their actual physical sensations during intimate encounters and relaxed into pleasure, and instead find themselves thinking and worrying about something else, such as not being enough—attractive enough, skinny enough, young enough, good enough, and so on.

The somatic skills that we learn with somatic movement practices give us a strong foundation for building satisfying and constantly evolving intimate relationships. Somatic movement practices constantly ask us to pay attention to our own bodies—how we feel, what feels good, what feels pleasurable, what we need, how to adjust, and what and when to stop. The more we know about our bodies—not only mentally but also as bodily experiences—and the more natural daily checking in with the body becomes, the more confident we become in the body and the more clearly we can advocate for our desires and needs in intimate encounters. This is not to be taken for granted, as many people have a hard time knowing themselves and then expressing to their partner what they like, desire, need, and can and cannot give. As I have discussed elsewhere, there is a strong link between somatics, sexuality, and eroticism. ⁷

The better we know our own bodies, the more awareness, respect, and care we are likely to bring to the ways in which we interact with the body of someone else. If I am aware of how touch impacts me physically and emotionally, I am also aware that my own touch is likely to impact the other person as well. The more I know about how my body moves and what brings me pleasure and awakens me sensually, the more likely I am to be curious about and attentive to the preferences and needs of the other person. The more aware I am of the fact that someone else’s physical presence and energy impact how I feel, the more likely I am to ask myself what kind of physical presence and energy I might emanate as I am with the other person.

A strong and constantly evolving somatic connection that I have with myself brings more awareness, presence, and empathy to my relationships. There is more physical pleasure, joy, and emotional connection in the relationships. As we advance on our somatic journey, we might also start tapping into more subtle phenomena such as intuitive and spiritual connection and how the energy moves inside the relationship. In the world where virtual relationships and AI companionships are becoming more common, the beauty of the physical, embodied nature of our human relationships is something to attend to with greater awareness, appreciation, and care.

Further Suggestions

Consider working out with a partner or a coach or spending some time doing movement activities with another person. Try setting up a regular practice for at least some time. What do you notice—in your physical health, emotions, and mood?