In reverse order, these are some variant of things said by Wilbur Wright; Bertrand Russell; Max Planck; and my Grandma, Jennie Bandstra.
2.
The original “threat” was in DahmD. J., “There's no Beer's law for scattering samples!!!!!”, NIR news15(6), 6–7 (2004); and was revisited in DahmD. J., “Making Waves”, NIR news16(6), 15–16 (2005). One of these days I make good on my promise.
3.
The first column in the series was DahmD. J., “Blowing Up Bridges”, NIR news17(2), 12 (2006); and the last was DahmD. J., “Is the diffusion model adequate for NIR measurements on particulate samples? (final round)”, NIR news17(8), 5–6 (2006).
4.
This is an American country expression meaning “naked truth”.
5.
DahmD.J., “Re-calibrating Kubelka-Munk: Which absorption coefficient?”, NIR news14(3), 10–11 (2003).
6.
DahmD.J., “What do you mean: “linear”?”, NIR news16(5), 8 (2005).
7.
This is a British expression meaning “nonsense”. As I understand it, it comes from drunken sorts trying to remember the words to a familiar song, and only being able to come up with “fall … derr … all”. This was so common that songwriters just started putting it in as the refrain, thereby eliminating the need for Guinness. Talk about unneeded efficiency.
8.
This is a Yiddish expression which refers to a comic theme or gimmick. Here I probably should have used the phrase “take on this”, because I really don't want to imply that Dave is in any way “funny”.
9.
I'd say that that ended the discussion of diffusion theory, but I've told that lie before.
