Journal of Social and Personal Relationships

A collection of holiday letters is analyzed using the grounded theory method to generate a matrix of relationships among descriptive categories and conceptual dimensions of this epistolary genre. The final step of the grounded theory protocol analyzes holiday letters as a genre of writing that conveys personal stories set within a bracketed period to achieve ongoing autobiographies. The narratives create positive identities for the writer and his or her intimates, and depict those autobiographies as progressing toward the good and the preferred in the dominant culture. Discussion focuses on the ways in which holiday letters manage the dialectics of contradictions between modernist sensibilities, desires, and selfhood, and the postmodern social conditions in which they are written.

This study investigated attraction in heterosexual cross-sex friendships. Study I used in-depth interviews with 20 dyads (40 participants) to uncover four types of attraction that occur in cross-sex friendships - subjective physical/sexual attraction, objective physical/sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and friendship attraction. These types of attraction are subject to being symmetrical or asymmetrical, and may incur changes over time. Study 11 (N = 231) used a questionnaire to assess the frequency of each type of attraction and the frequency with which types of attraction are perceived to change. The most prevalent form of attraction was friendship attraction, and the least prevalent form was romantic attraction. The implications of these results for understanding both cross-sex friendships and the process of attraction are discussed.

Heterosexism as an interpersonal dynamic at weddings was examined using feminist critical science. Data were collected from 45 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people who attended focus groups. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender participants described multiple interactions in which they were devalued or hidden, while heterosexuality was elevated, as well as interactions in which they or another family member resisted heterosexism. Weddings were perceived to be difficult, and participation in them was questioned. As part of their critique of weddings, participants offered a vision of relationships that was based on commitment, rather than heterosexuality or material benefits. Results of this study were used to create a brochure and website for educating hetero-sexual people planning weddings.

Several recent studies have sought to identify characteristics of better and worse attempts at support provision; however, there has been little explicit theoretical attention to the ways in which recipients evaluate enacted support. We developed a multidimensional scale to measure these evaluations. Study 1 asked 122 adults to interpret the meaning of three adjectives (helpful, supportive, sensitive) used in previous research. Although the meanings of these terms overlap, respondents associated helpful with problem-solving utility, supportive with relational assurance, and sensitivity with emotional awareness. Study 2 asked 396 students to rate a recalled conversation on 30 semantic-differential-type scales derived from Study 1. These ratings provided a basis for selecting 12 items to form valid and reliable scales of problem-solving utility, relational assurance, and emotional awareness. Study 3 provides independent validation of factor structure, scale reliability and validity, and conceptual distinctiveness. We discuss a variety of research questions for which this multidimensional scale may be a useful tool.

Why is it that some hurtful messages have a greater impact on relationships than others? Theorists suggest that the way people interpret another individual's negative behavior can influence how close or distant they feel from that person, as well as the emotions they experience. The first study reported in this article was conducted to examine how judgments of intent affect individuals' tendency to distance themselves from someone who hurt them and how such judgments impact people's experience of hurt. Results indicated that people who judged something an individual said to them as intentionally hurtful felt the comment had more of a distancing effect on their relationship with the individual than did those who perceived the message as unintentionally hurtful. Furthermore, those who viewed the comment as intentionally hurtful tended to be less satisfied with the relationship they had with the person who hurt them and felt less close to the person than did those who saw it as unintentional. The findings also revealed that people's perceptions of messages they saw as unintentionally hurtful varied in theoretically important ways. To follow-up on the notion that there are qualities of messages viewed as unintentionally hurtful that contribute to relational distancing and hurt feelings, a second study was conducted. Findings indicated that the perception of messages as part of an ongoing pattern of hurtful communication - as relatively frequent and as part of a general tendency to hurt others was associated with relational distancing. Also, people's tendency to feel disregarded by the individual who hurt them was linked with relational distancing and hurt feelings.

This article explores the potential relevance of chaos theory in understanding development and change in romantic relationships. Chaos theory implies that relationship development may not be linear, that relationships may quickly and spontaneously shift to different states and relational patterns, and that predicting their future state may be problematic. Furthermore, chaos theory generates several methodological and statistical issues for relationship studies. The application of chaos theory may increase the understanding of relation- ships as it stimulates a renewed emphasis on relationships as process, a moving from concern with predictability to emerging patterns, seeing variability as normal, and the recognition of the need for multiple perspectives and methods in studying relational development.

Relatively little is known about the relationships between exromantic partners. For example, is it possible for them to have a platonic friendship? The present study addresses this question by surveying both males and females who report having a cross-sex friend who was once a romantic partner and a cross-sex friend with whom there was never any romantic involvement. Both types of friendship are compared using rules of friendship, costs and benefits of friendship, romantic desires, and overall quality of the relationship. The results indicate a significant difference in the feelings towards each type of friend with more positive qualities associated with the platonic friend and more negative qualities, in addition to more romantic desires, associated with the ex-romantic partner friend. It is suggested that the relationship between ex- romantic partners is qualitatively different from a platonic cross-sex friendship.