Mapping Mourning Among Muslims of Kashmir: Analysis of Religious Principles and Current Practices

Abstract

From the instance a person passes away, the funeral, mourning, and memorial ceremonies follow sets of religious principles and procedures in every society. However, at the same time, these ceremonies and practices are influenced by the cultural patterns that people endorse. Mourning practices among Muslims of Kashmir also derive from such a religious-cultural amalgamation. This study aims to highlight mourning practices from two standpoints: (a) the prerequisites of the Islamic tradition and (b) the way mourning is actually practiced in Kashmir. To compare the general mourning practices with the actual Kashmiri Muslim mourning practices, different secondary sources were used and in-depth interviews were conducted with 11 participants (6 women, 4 men, and 1 Islamic scholar). The study revealed that mourning practices followed by Muslims of Kashmir are influenced by traditions outside the religion of Islam.

Keywords

death mourning funeral Islamic traditions Kashmir

“Verily the death from which you flee will surely come to you (Quran 62:8).”

Human life revolves around a number of stages, including birth, initiation, marriage, and, finally, death (Hamid et al. 2019). These life stages are ritualized in all societies and cultures of the world. However, variations are to be found in performing these rituals based on race, ethnicity, gender, class, religion, and region. Death, as one such stage, is a universal and natural experience that is the final phase of living (Jacobsen, 2013). Death is an unavoidable and irrevocable phenomenon, with a range of dimensions. Death is not simply a biological experience. Rather, it is a multifaceted event with social, religious, cultural, and spiritual connotations (Mehta,1998–1999). Every society ritualizes death and a number of practices are linked with it. The passing of an individual is followed universally by traditional practices. At the same time, however, religious beliefs upheld by people also play a vast role in the performance of these ceremonies and practices (Mohanty, 2003). Different beliefs adjoining the notion of death mainly influence every aspect of death rites: the last moments of life, preparing the corpse for disposal, funeral practices, mourning, and the memorial ceremonies. As it is not possible to consider all belief systems in a single paper, we aim to familiarize the readers with the mourning practices set and accepted by Islam and compare such set mourning practices from the actual mourning practices followed by Muslims of Kashmir. In doing so, we anticipate to expose the societal, traditional, and religious frames that systematize loss in the target population.

In Islam, every person is given a fixed period of life at birth. When this fixed period is over, the angel of death takes the soul from the body (Veenat, 2017). Islam provides an assorted depiction of the phases of life, death, as well as life after death (Campo, 2006). The Islamic outlook to death is, thus, structured into a cluster of practices and norms that organize the preliminary reaction to death, the funeral, and the mourning periods (Yasien-Esmael & Rubin, 2005). In the monotheistic faith of Islam, eschatology instigates a rich drapery of practices woven of Quranic scriptures, sayings of the Prophet and the cultural outlooks of early Muslim societies that they represent (Smith & Haddad, 1975). Throughout the history of humankind and across the diversity of Islamic traditions, these religious practices have been reinforced, reinterpreted, and, at times, even forsaken (Greenberg, 2007).

Although Islam aims to exhibit practices and rituals of death in an unequivocal system, the fit of the religious frame to the individuals’ understanding of mourning and grief works on several aspects and dimensions (Giladi, 1993; Rubin et al., 2005). Ever since its origin, Islam has merged many groups and nationalities, and it has been modified to fit many social environments, geographical circumstances, and historical conditions. Still, Islamic principles and teachings have provided direction to the behavior of believers and communities. Among other benefits, Islam has determined the way the believers interpreted death and has led to conventional methods for how to handle the corpse. Among Muslims, religious rules and regulations continue to preside over death. However, there is much local variation in the expression of grief and mourning within practical Islam (Jonker, 1997). It is due to this blend of religious and cultural connotations that rituals and practices carried out by Muslims of Bosnia portray resemblance with, but also substantial deviation from, Muslims of Iran (Reimers, 1999).

Albayrak and Arici (2007) emphasized that in Elazig, Turkey, based on traditional Turkish beliefs, certain practices such as (a) keeping the lights on in the house of the deceased, (b) cooking Helva in the name of deceased person, and (c) throwing away the shoes of the deceased are done to avoid the evil part of the deceased from entering the house. During mourning period, bereaved do not get haircuts and they do not shave, wear fancy dresses, watch TV, talk loudly, or laugh. Wedding ceremonies, engagement ceremonies, and circumcision ceremonies are not held during the 40-day long mourning period. Min (1996) revealed that Muslim-Hui in the Shandong province, China, have integrated many Han Chinese practices that are not purely Islamic in nature. Due to the long communication with the Han Chinese Confucian tradition, the culture of the Muslim-Hui in China has been multiplex and regional, especially in aspects of dress and funeral structure, mourning period, and lamentation. Muslim-Hui also hold ceremonies on the 7th day, the 40th day, the 100th day, as well as the 1st, 3rd, 10th, and 30th anniversaries of the death, wherein they traditionally perform rituals for the deceased. Edalati and Abarkouhye (2012) argued that the Koran is read above the head of corpse during the whole night in the Iranian city of Abarkouh after ceremonial washing and shrouding. After burial, all family members dress in black clothes, and guests are served tea and dates. The bereaved family and the relatives visit the dead person’s grave on the third day and 2 weeks after their death. They take with them some eatables and other materials in odd numbers, not in even numbers, due to the belief that even numbers are signals for another death in the mourner’s house. Rubin and Yasien-Esmael (2004) highlighted that in a multicultural society like Israel, Muslims encounter members of Christian, Jewish, Druze, and other cultural-faith communities, which results in mutual influences arising from interactions with each other. In particular, the pronounced attention to memory and rituals at later periods among Jewish and Christian practices has given rise to Islamic practices in Israel that take place much later than the religiously sanctioned 3-day mourning period. Taha (2018) believed that despite the egalitarian nature of the Muslim burial rites, social differentiation based on socioeconomic position were evident in Palestine with respect to the presence or absence of a superstructure over the grave, the length of mourning periods, death meals, the number and the distance traveled by the people to attend the burial, and so on.

Kashmir Society: An Introduction

Kashmir is one of the three divisions of the state of Jammu and Kashmir (in India). Jammu and Kashmir is situated between the 32°17′ and 36°58′ north latitudes and the 73°06′ and 80°30′ east longitudes. The state is spread out in a geographical area of 222,236 km² (Jahangir & Shafi, 2013). With a population of 6,888,475, Kashmir is one of the most prominent Muslim majority areas in South Asia with not less than 96.4% of the Muslim population, according to the 2011 census. In addition, Kashmir has a rich and vast cultural heritage and traditions. The history of the culture and tradition of Kashmir is not the creation of a single nation, tribe, or grouping. Rather, diverse nations, groups, and tribes have contributed to its formation. It is a fact that numerous civilizations have, from time to time, come in contact with Kashmir and they have left their imprint on its culture. The rich cultural heritage of Kashmir society is depicted by the absolute variety of craft, and architecture, the richness of ancient literature, music, fairs and festivals, rites and rituals, seers and sagas, and languages that thrive among the unparalleled cultural cohesion, which is exemplary.

Kashmiri culture is a composite culture consisting of elements and influences, mainly from India, Iran, and Central Asia. Its richness also owes to the fact that it has assimilated elements from some major world religions like Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism (Ahmad & Saklani, 2016). It was in the 12th century that Kashmir was predominantly a Hindu society. The earliest Hindu religious cult, the snake-cult or Naga worshippers, seems to have been established in the valley from a remote period, and it is one of the earliest religions of the land (Madan, 2008). In the third-century BC, Buddhism came to Kashmir. Even after the influence of Buddhism, Kashmir was a glorious Hindu kingdom known for serving as a seat of learning Hinduism. After the 13th-century AD, Hinduism and Buddhism encountered Islam and many Hindus and Buddhists converted to it (Ahmad & Saklani, 2016). At the turn of the 16th century, Islam started replacing Hinduism as the major religion of the Kashmir. This remarkable change in the religious demography of Kashmir occurred during the 14th, 15th, and 16th centuries following mass conversion to Islam (Wani, 2004). Furthermore, Kashmir was a hub for trade between the East and the West (the trade was primarily associated with the Silk Road), as well as a destination for many missionaries, scholars, and travelers who also affected Kashmiri culture. The interactions of the distinct cultures and religions with Islam completely changed the cultural dynamics of the Kashmir region (Kuszewska, 2015).Such religious and cultural encounters created a new culture as Kashmir assimilated various ethno-religious traditions and beliefs that were shared among the different communities.

Sufism is a division of Islam that does not preach strict orthodox values and it facilitated the cultural assimilation. Therefore, the Islam practiced by the people of Kashmir has been predominantly Sufi in nature rather than orthodox, which led to the development of the composite culture in which people were acutely aware of their religiosity, but they never let such awareness come between their relationships with each other (Ahmad & Saklani, 2016). This assimilation can be interpreted as the Islamization process of Kashmir as well as the Kashmirization of Islam. Therefore, just as Webb states, the resultant syncretic Hindu-Muslim culture did not exclude the presence and influence of other religions. Rather, this culture led to the development of indigenous philosophies, practices, and traditions of Hinduism and Islam that differentiated both religious communities from their counterparts elsewhere (Webb, 2012). All the aforementioned elements contributed to shape the uniqueness of Kashmiri culture as well as its religious syncretism. The conversion to Islam also led to the cleavage between the foreign culture and indigenous culture of Kashmir, wherein newly converted people exploited the elements of external stimulus to evolve a new pattern of life essentially from within the foundations of the local culture.

Objectives of the Study

This study aimed to (a) highlight the mourning practices as required by Islamic religious tradition and (b) explore the mourning practices as practiced by Muslims of Kashmir. These objectives guide the discussion on the comparison between the prescribed mourning practices and the actual mourning practices.

Universe, Sample, and Procedure

This study was carried out in the Budgam district of the Kashmir division. In Kashmir, Muslims do not form a homogenous community. Rather, they belong to a number of sects that share beliefs and practices specific to them. In this context, this study is purposively done on Muslims of the Sunni sect, as the majority of the Muslim population in Kashmir, as well as in Budgam, belongs to this very sect.

The study is qualitative in nature, and the empirical data were collected from both primary and secondary sources. To gather knowledge about the mourning customs as required by Islamic religious tradition, different religious sources, such as the Quran, the books of Fiqh, Hadith and Sunnah, as well as other relevant books, research papers, and articles were used. To determine the Muslim mourning practices in Kashmir, in-depth interviews were carried out with research participants who had attended funerals and participated in mourning so that they could provide a thorough description of the concerned rituals and practices.

A purposive sampling technique was employed by the researchers to derive the sample, and, finally, interviews were conducted with 11 participants in total, which consisted of 6 women, 4 men, and 1 male Islamic scholar. Data collection was done between November and December 2018. Permission was collected from all the participants, and they were also informed that participation was voluntary. Some of the interviews were topical, associated with a scrupulous event or observance researchers had observed. Other interviews were conducted with surveys. Given that only few participants were acquainted with English language, interviews were conducted in the local language.

The order of questions, which were intentionally kept very simple and free of technical terms, was often altered following the course of the discussion. All the interviews were recorded with the permission of the participants, and later responses were first transcribed and then translated in English by the researchers during analysis. During the investigation, the researchers encountered the death of an old man, so death practices including mourning were observed first hand. However, researchers did not attend predeath or near-death practices in the course of the fieldwork nor did they conduct interviews with recently bereaved persons. Our main aim was to gain a picture of people’s beliefs and interpretations as well as their understanding and ritualizing of mourning.

Findings of the Study

Mourning Customs Required by Islamic Religious Tradition

One reality of humankind is that every person has to face death.Allah in the Holy Qur’an has stated, “Every soul shall taste death” (Al-Imran: 185) and Allah further said, “Death will overtake you wherever you be, even in the mightiest of the towers” (An-Nisaa: 78). Since death is definite, a Muslim is obliged to follow the guidelines set by Allah and the traditions of the Prophet at this very important stage. Islam has elaborated on the way the dying person and the deceased should be treated, and a comprehensive set of directives has also been bestowed for individuals who are present at the moment of death. Islam requires believers to demonstrate endurance and recognition of Allah’s will whenever they face the tragedy of the death of a loved one.

“When a Muslim hears about loss, he is supposed to express gratitude to God for what has occurred and to utter the expression that, “indeed, we are from God, and we shall go back to him. God, I seek for myself the suitable reward for this calamity and leave for me just the goodness from what has happened.” (Muslim, 1994)

Similarly, every Muslim should take the death (of a family member or an associate) uncomplainingly, showing their recognition of Allah’s decision. For the Prophet has said, “The actual patience is at the earliest blow of tragedy” (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1302). The Prophet has further said, “When you visit the ailing or the dead, plead good for yourself as angels pronounce ‘Aameen’ to whatever you speak” (Abu Dawud, 887).

Umm Salama narrated that when Abu Salama expired, I went to the Messenger of Allah and whispered: O Apostle of Allah, Abu Salama has expired. He advised me to declaim: “O Almighty! Pardon me and him and bestow me a better alternate than him.” So, I said (this), and Allah granted me Muhammad who is better for me than Abu Salama. (Al-Tirmidhi, 1998, Hadith Number 899).

Relatives of the deceased are obliged to be patient, practice self-restraint, and gratefully accept Allah’s decree since Allah has already promised mankind that he would test them on the earth in any of the ways he wishes. In the Qur’an, Allah has mentioned, “Surely, we shall test you with fear, and hunger, and loss of wealth, and life and the fruits of your labor; but give tidings of happiness to those who have patience” (Al-Baqarah: 155). Among the glad tidings for individuals who are patient when loved ones are lost is a home in paradise (Al-Tirmidhi, 1998).

Mourning the death of a loved one and shedding tears are normal. However, Islam forbids believers who sincerely fear God and the Day of Judgment from all actions and sayings that show their dissatisfaction and disappointment with Allah’s will, like wailing, howling, slapping, beating the chest, tearing ones clothes, saying bad things about oneself, demanding death for themselves in trade for the deceased, and saying things demonstrating loss of trust in Allah. For the Prophet separated from Islam, those individuals who moan or lament, rip out their hair, or tear their clothes and refer them to the people of jahiliyah. It is mentioned that the Prophet has said, “One who smacks his face, rips his clothes and follows the manner and customs of the days of ignorance is not among us” (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1294). In another instance, the Prophet has stated, “Amongst my people there are four characteristics belonging to pre−Islamic era, which they do not dispose of: boasting of high position, reviling other’s genealogies, asking for rain from stars, and wailing.” And he (further) said: “If the woman who wails does not ask forgiveness before her death, she will be made to stand on the Day of judgment wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange” (Muslim, 1994, Hadith Number 2033).

One can sob silently at the loss as there is no opposition to this practice in Islam. The Prophet acted similarly when his son died. The subsequent reference brings the impression of self-control in the time of such crisis into the center. When Ibrahim, the Prophet’s son, died, the Prophet wept. Somebody asked him, “O Apostle of Allah, did you not prohibit weeping?” He responded,

I prohibited upraising one’s voice in two cases, both evenly idiotic and sinful: a voice elevated in a situation of joy, which gets manifested in festivals, entertainment, and devilish chanting, and a voice raised in state of disaster articulated in scratching and slapping one’s face, ripping off clothes and a satanic mourning howl. My tears convey my kindness. Whosoever has no kindness for others; there will be no kindness for him. (Ibn S'ad,1905–1918)

In another hadith, it is mentioned that when Ibrahim was in his final breath, the eyes of the Prophet began dropping tears. So, Abdur Rahman bin Auf said, “O Allah’s Messenger, even you are weeping!” He replied, “O Ibn Auf, this is compassion.” Then he sobbed more and said, “The eyes are shedding tear, and the heart is distressed, and we will not speak except for what satisfies our lord, and O Ibrahim! Certainly, we are grieved by your parting” (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1303). The religious belief accentuates recognition of God’s will and it is built on the religious books that exhibit the necessity for control, whereas, at the same time, they leave space for expressions of emotion. The silent sobbing of the Prophet at the death of Ibrahim communicates both the pain and the managing of that pain in an ideal reaction to loss.

Likewise, it is not allowed to romanticize the deceased, as such behavior fetches punishment for those individuals who do it. It is believed that weeping and howling cause the deceased to be castigated in the hereafter. For the Prophet has said,

Allah does not give punishment for shedding tears or for the sorrow of the heart, but he reprimands because of his tongue. The deceased is penalized for the weeping over him, and when Umar used to see it, he used to hit with his stick, hurl stones and put sand on the faces of those individuals who used to weep over the deceased. (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1304)

Ta’ziyah (consoling the bereaved) and showing care and concern for individuals who are suffering pain are regarded as one of the essential duties of brotherhood in Islam. The purpose of consolation is to help the bereaved overcome their grief and to ease their burden during the time of calamity. The Prophet said, “Muslims in their mutual affection and mercy for one another are like a single body; if one part is afflicted, the rest of the body also feels the pain” (Muslim, 1994, Hadith Number 6261). Comforting and consoling an afflicted person and advising him to be patient are acts of great reward. Condolences are desirable even if the deceased was a nonbeliever. Ibn Majah and Al-Baihaqi reported that the Prophet said, “Every believer who consoles his brother in distress will be dressed by Allah in an apparel of honor on the Day of Resurrection” (Sabeq,1988–1989).During the proffering of condolence, it is regarded appropriate to talk about the matters implicated in the death. It is not considered proper to carry on with or to talk about day-to-day affairs. People are supposed to speak well about the deceased and refrain from uttering comments that may increase the pain of the bereaved. It is mentioned that the Prophet said, “Cite good things about your dead and refrain from mentioning their evil” (Al-Tirmidhi, 1998, Hadith Number 1019). The individual offering condolence is believed to provide support and reminisce about the bereaved of things that might alleviate the soreness of loss, and let them to not remember the pain, and avoid talking about the occurrences that may increase their pain and grief. Solace is to be articulated that can facilitate the bereaved. Sabeq (1988–1989, p. 479) provides the subsequent illustrations in this regard: “To God is what has been taken, and not what He has given. He has set time for everything before, so be tolerant and have faith in God.” Another common expression is, “God will raise your prize and bless you with comfort and have compassion on the dear one you lost” (Sabeq,1988–1989, p. 480).

So far as the period of mourning is concerned, Islam establishes a specific time during which the bereaved may grieve. Normally, this period occurs 3 days from the declaration of the death. During this time, one is permitted to mourn but within the limits of Islamic principles and guidelines. This vision is based upon and supported by elucidations that emphasize a speedy return from the grief by accepting the loss as God’s will. Even though, the prohibition against mourning the dead for more than 3 days (except that for a widow) is not mentioned in the Qur’an. However, its mention is found in the valid and established Sunnah of the Prophet and the hadith. The Prophet’s saying on the period of mourning is epitomized in the following hadith. Um Habibah, the spouse of the Prophet, has said,

I heard the Prophet saying, it is not permissible for a woman who has belief in Allah and the Day of Judgment to mourn for any deceased after 3 days apart from for her husband, for whom she is supposed to mourn for four months and ten days. (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1281)

The Quran allows widows to mourn and not to engage themselves for 4-lunar months and 10 days, after the death of their husbands. Allah has mentioned in the Qur’an,

And those of you who die and leave widows behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for 4 months and 10 days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you about what they do with themselves by the norms (of society). And Allah is well acquainted with what you do … (An-Nisaa: 234–235)

Mourning on the 15th, 40th, or for a whole year is a reprehensible act that is not permissible in Islam. These practices are regarded to have advanced from the sources that are outside the religion and are not acknowledged by Islam. Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked: What is the declaration on observing the 40th day after death, during which time the Qur’an is recited and people meet to offer condolences. He replied:

This is one of the novelties that are accomplished by some people. When forty days have passed since the demise, people arrange a condolence gathering at the house of the deceased, and read the Qur’an and illuminate in the place. This comes under the heading of renewing grief, which is forbidden in Islam (Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, p. 9/2).

During the period of mourning, food should be arranged for the bereaved people. Islam recommends that friends and relatives should relieve the family of the burden of cooking for a brief period. Abdullah bin Ja’far said, “When the news of the death of Ja’far came,” the Prophet said, “prepare some food for the family of Ja’far, for indeed something has happened to them that will keep them busy” (Al-Tirmidhi, 1998, Hadith Number 998). This narration proves that it is an obligation upon neighbors or friends to prepare food for the bereaved family because they are unable to cook food for themselves and others due to their own perplexed and unavoidable situation. The Prophet recommended this practice, for it is an act of virtue and kindness and brings friends and neighbors close to each other. All the schools of Islamic law disapprove of the deceased’s family preparing food for people coming to pay condolences, for it adds to their grief and further encumbers them unnecessarily, and such a practice would also resemble the custom of Arabs before Islam. Referencing this practice, Jarir says, “In those days we considered it part of mourning to assemble at the deceased’s house and prepare food after burial for those gathered there.” Some scholars consider this practice as prohibited (Sabeq, 1988–1989).

In the post-mourning period, the bereaved may execute several actions to augment the rewards of the deceased person. It is considered proper to ask Allah to pardon the departed soul. The Prophet said,

A dead person in the grave is like a drowning man looking for help from others and waiting for a prayer from his father, mother, brother or a friend. When it reaches the deceased person, he (the one who prays) becomes dearer to him than this whole world, and that is in it. Certainly, Almighty Allah bestows rewards like mountains for the inmates of the graves out of the invocation of inmates of the world, and verily the gift of the living to the deceased is seeking forgiveness for him. (Kazi, 1992, p. 209)

Giving donations on behalf of the departed is considered a valuable action. Again, fasting, performing the pilgrimage, offering prayers, and reciting the Holy Qur’an in the name of the deceased also bestow advantage on him or her.The Prophet has said, “An individual who has departed and that 100 Muslim fellows plead for him—they succor as recommendations for that person” (Muslim, 1994, Hadith Number 2071). In another instance, it is narrated that a man said to the Prophet, “My mother died suddenly, and I thought that, if she would have been able to talk one last time, she would have asked me to give alms. So, if I give alms now on her behalf, will she get the reward?” the prophet replied in the affirmative (Al-Bukhari, 1985, Hadith Number 1305).

Mourning Customs Practiced by Muslims of Kashmir

In Kashmir, when a Muslim is close to death, those individuals around him or her provide consolation and remind him or her of God’s clemency. The dying person is laid in the direction of Qiblah with his or her arms and legs straightened. Water (either plain water or Zamzam) or honey is put into the mouth of dying person, and he or she is encouraged to say the shahadah (there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his servant and Messenger). Surah Yasin is recited from the Qur’an, and supplications are made to ease the suffering of a dying person. At the same time, crying is also witnessed as the separation is near. When death occurs, the eyes and the mouth of the deceased person are immediately closed, and their toes are tied. People come to know about a death by hearing women's elongated and shuddering wail, followed by the announcement at the mosque. Soon after a person dies, various behaviors are apparent. Based on the relation with the deceased, gender, and the level of religious and traditional observances by the bereaved, differences and variations in such behaviors become apparent.

Women and men from the neighborhood, relatives, friends, and people from the village and other localities come to proffer condolences and wait for the funeral. Although wailing is prohibited in Islam, it is practiced in Kashmir. Wailing is normally the work of women, especially the close relatives of the deceased person. In any case, wailing is not done only by female relatives of the departed but also by women from the locality who have come to take part in mourning. The practice of wailing in collection as well as the self-punishment behaviors are widespread expressions of intense grief wherein women throw themselves on the ground, bang the ground, throw their headscarves away, pull their hair out, bang their chest and scrape, and smack their faces. However, few mourning women remain poised and attempt to handle women who are more expressive by referencing the Qur’an and the Prophet’s sayings. Women believe that wailing is an ideal way to demonstrate their feelings and support the bereaved family. At some moments, the wailing and howling by women become louder (e.g., when the corpse is carried into the house, or when it is taken for washing or burial). While women wail and lament, men are witnessed to be much more controlled. Men are sometimes sternly quiet, silently crying, and incessantly invoking Allah’s name. At the same time, men appeal for forgiveness for themselves and the departed person and start preparations for washing and burial.

Afterward, the corpse is attended repeatedly from the instant of the declaration of demise until the burial. As the corpse is being washed for the burial, men and women sit disjointedly and read out the verses from the holy Qur’an. However, women continue to wail. As soon as the corpse is taken out from the washing area, the face is uncovered for a last gaze at the deceased. At this moment, a pointed rise in the crying and lamenting is heard from the womenfolk, which incorporates emotions of panic, anguish, anger, and resentment. As men start to take the coffin to the burial ground, the women try to grasp it. Finally, men haul up the coffin and go along with it in a procession to the mosque for funeral prayer, wherefrom it is then taken to the burial ground. In the background, women are usually heard weeping as the body has been taken away from the home. Sometimes, burial is delayed as people wait for relatives of the deceased to come and get a final view of him or her. After the funeral, men and women sit separately in the house of the deceased or a tent, and people come to offer support and condolences. The women, especially from the immediate family (mother, wife, sisters, aunts, and daughters), take different places in the house or the tent, and other women touch their hands, kiss them, cry, and proffer expressions of sympathy. Those individuals who come to offer condolences usually bring eatables like fruits, juice, eggs, and bread for the bereaved, which are later on distributed among people or sent to any mosque or Darasgah.

A 3-day long formal mourning period is observed wherein the comforters come to offer condolences and sit for a brief period. Generally, the individuals who had come to offer condolences enquire about the way death took place, and these individuals also share their experience of the way they received the news and their response to it. The bereaved continuously narrate the same story to diverse groupings of people proffering condolences. Sometimes, a religious person visits several times throughout the mourning period to perform Fatihah and to nudge the audience about the connotations of death and loss as well as the significance of endurance at such situations. However, our study highlighted that this practice is more prevalent among men than women. Furthermore, men do not spend much time near the bereaved, and they do not talk about death because it reminds the bereaved of their loss and deepens the sense of bereavement and anguish. Rather, topics that provide comfort to the bereaved are discussed. However, women sit for longer periods than men, and they recurrently ask the bereaved about the loss.

This study reveals that, though lamenting is regarded as a sin in Islam, this tradition continues in Kashmir. Women lament and recite poetic statements for their feelings of loss. Lamentation is carried out in a random way wherein well-selected statements and meaningful rhythms are used. The following statement, as observed by the researchers at the death of an older person, is the instance of lamentation by his married daughter.

Oh, my father! My affectionate father!

You used to visit me every morning. Now, who will visit me, oh my father!

To whom shall I complain, oh my father!

Who will guide me, oh my father!

Who will take care of me, oh my father!

Why have you left me alone, oh my father!

You used to say you can’t live without your children. Now how will you live without us, oh my father!

Take me with you, oh my affectionate father!

I can’t bear this Separation, oh my father!

At the level of substance, these statements are characterized by their powerful emotional aspect. They are spontaneous and communicate the intricacy of getting separated from the deceased. The statements also address the deceased and state their qualities. The degree of closeness is also reflected through wailing and lamentation. When women come to offer condolences, the women already there, and mostly the bereaved women, start crying in much louder voices and call out the name of the deceased as if conversing with him or her. It was further observed by the researchers that, against the Islamic teachings, women sometimes go to the extent of questioning the will of Allah and they show their anger and also seek bad things and even death for themselves. They utter painful shrieks like the following and so on:

O Allah what misfortune and disaster you have inflicted on us. O Allah what have you done to us; did not you pity us. O Allah why did you take him or her and leave us here? O Allah take me as well as I do not want to live anymore.

In some cases, crying and wailing at the funeral and mourning do not essentially reflect any love for the deceased. Sometimes, women who barely even know the deceased attend the funeral and wail for some time and then leave. One of the participants who participated in the mourning of her recently deceased relative said, “It doesn’t necessarily mean that one weeps because of sadness. Sometimes women who take part in wailing and cry don’t know the deceased personally. However, you cry simply because you need to behave as per the situation.” Another respondent argues, “A woman does not wail all the time for the deceased person; however, while wailing, some women bring to mind their own experiences and cry for their own dead relatives.” Rooted in these statements is the fact that wailing is not always a result of grief. Rather, wailing is a ritual obligation. As a sign of showing both sadness and solidarity with the bereaved women, the women who come to offer condolences are supposed to weep for the deceased person. Therefore, wailing is more or less a form of social current or what Emile Durkheim called nonmaterial social fact. Another interesting point revealed through the study is that wailing is performed mostly by old and illiterate women. This fact can be explained by citing the evidence that young Kashmiri women are more conscious of religious teachings and principles in the course of their education, and hence, they behave accordingly. A young woman stated, “There is no mischief in shedding tears of loss, but wailing is not allowed in Islam.” A similar view was expressed by another young woman. She strongly argued, “Women should not wail and lament in funerals, this is not allowed in Islam. Women in al-jahiliya used to do so.” However, many women and especially older ones were found to be hesitant about abandoning these actions. Commenting on this state, an old woman said that

The deceased’s family members, particularly women, are supposed to keep crying and wailing especially whenever a new guest arrives. If you don’t cry and lament for the deceased, people might understand that you are not saddened by his or her death.

During the 3-day mourning period, food is normally not cooked by the bereaved but brought by their friends and neighbors. Traditionally, it was prepared and brought by close neighborhood families and friends. However, in contemporary times, food is usually brought by Mohalla-based committees, which collect money from its members on monthly basis and after anybody’s death within the committee, they handle all the work including the making of food and tea. Normally, food is served 2 times per day in which three or four dishes are prepared that are served with rice. However, tea is served continuously throughout the day. It fosters the familial and neighborhood relations and provides space for the bereaved to complete their grief process. The process of bringing food for the bereaved also provides employment opportunities for some groups of people, as people who are supposed to cook for the bereaved, hire expert cooks locally called Wazaa’s. Apart from Wazaa’s, there are other people who are associated with the whole process of mourning and who derive their livelihood from it, such as individuals who make and sell shrouds, Ghusaal (those who give funeral bath to the deceased person), Gourkan (those who dig graves), and so on. Each morning, the close male acquaintance of the deceased make visits to the deceased person's grave in a tradition to pray for him or her.

Furthermore, men recite the whole Qur’an in the name of the departed person almost continuously for these 3 days. At the end of the mourning phase, the mourners take showers, and women clean up the whole house, and life returns visibly to its regular path. Sometime later, a large-sized photograph of the departed is suspended on the wall within the house, and close relatives and friends take belongings of the deceased as memories. After the formal mourning period, just comforters who were not able to offer condolence earlier visit the bereaved. However, some close relatives live with the bereaved family for days together, and others also visit the bereaved and offer support.

After the 3-day formal mourning period is over, Rasm-e-Chahrum, a fourth-day ritual is observed by Muslims of Kashmir. On this day, people again visit the bereaved in large numbers to offer condolences and the bereaved themselves cook Wazwan (traditional Kashmiri food) or make tea, which is served to the guests for the whole day. This custom is rooted in the idea that the individuals who eat do so in the name of the dead person and the deceased person senses what is happening and is contented to receive the good wishes and prayers from the gathering. Pirs (people who are well versed in Qur’an) or children from local Madrassa/Darasgah (school of Islamic education) are invited by the bereaved to perform Khatam (recitation of the whole Qur’an) and to invoke Allah for the forgiveness and betterment of the deceased, and, finally, food is served to them. On the first Friday, the male family members of the deceased take juice or babri tresh (drink made by mixing water, milk, sugar and basil seeds) to the mosque and distribute it among individuals who had come for prayer. Again, on the first Monday, after the demise, people and mostly women come together again in the deceased’s house; by now, the atmosphere is soothed to a greater degree than the previous one. However, women continue to wail and lament. A memorial ceremony is also held on the first Friday, on the 15th and 40th days after the death as well as on the first shab-i-mehraj and first Eid. Another memorial ritual is then held 1 year after the person’s death. However, unlike the ceremony of fourth day after death, these affairs are somewhat private, wherein only close relatives and neighbors come to meet the bereaved family. In all memorial rituals, food and tea are served to the guests, while prayers and blessings are sent to the deceased person. The bereaved also invite some religious persons on these memorial days to recite Qur’anic Verses in favor of the deceased and at last food is served to them. “Reciting Qur’an after the death of a person is accepted in Islam. However, limiting this practice to certain days, such as the 4th, 15th, and 40th days after death are customary practices not connected with Islam.” This was revealed by the Islamic scholar. Sometimes, deceased persons themselves state in their will that their Rasm-e-Chahrum or other memorial ceremonies shall be observed.

Apart from these commemorative memorials, visits are also made to the grave mostly by men on some fixed days like Friday or at the eve of religious festivals, and Qur’anic verses are read, and prayers and blessings are sent to the deceased person. Some people also make niyaz (sacrifice) of animals in the name of deceased and distribute the meat of the sacrificed animal among relatives, neighbors, and friends. Donations are also given in the name of the deceased to the poor and needy. Tehri (a local dish made of rice) is distributed frequently among people in the name of deceased and those individuals who eat it are requested to pray for the departed soul. Widows try to remain inside their house and refrain from meeting strangers for a 4-month and 10-day mourning period. The bereaved, throughout the mourning period, experience certain taboos, such as not wearing fancy clothes, refraining from entertainment activities, and they even stop taking part in functions. Sometimes, for months, marriage does not take place in the deceased’s family. After a few days or months, close relatives of the bereaved visit them as per a local custom known as “Doukh tulun,” wherein they bring eatables, money, gifts in the form of clothes, and even gold and other items. The bereaved are then also invited by close relatives to have food, and this custom in Kashmir is known as “Doukh-e-saal.”

Discussion

The study demonstrated how belief structure, Islamic mourning practices, and the influence of loss generate a blend that is not write conventional in nature. The results of this study resembled the results of previous studies showing that religious and cultural practices coexist in every society and guide people throughout life (Bahar et al., 2012; Campo, 2006; Gardner, 1998; Hussein & Oyebode, 2009; Jonker, 1997; Rubin & Yasien-Esmael, 2004; Suhail et al., 2011). Our study also revealed more or less the same results. Even though it is not easy to separate the influence of religion and culture on customs and rituals encompassing death, each factor influences death customs and rituals distinctly. In Kashmir, we found that Muslims adhere to the principles of Islam. However, they have also adopted several practices not prescribed to them by Islam. Mourning over a deceased person is allowed in Islam, but we observed great differences between practices allowed by Islam and the actual practices of Kashmiri Muslims. So far as similarities are concerned, Muslims in Kashmir at the anticipation of death take good care of a dying person, face him or her in the direction of Qibla, recite the Qur’anic verses, make supplication, and encourage the dying person to pronounce shahadah. The body is then washed, shrouded, prayed upon, and buried as per Islamic norms. After burial, people visit the bereaved to offer condolences and provide support. A 3-day mourning period is held, and, in these 3 days, food is not cooked by the bereaved, which falls in line with the Islamic recommendations. Bereaved family continuously help the deceased person by sending supplications and making donations.

However, apart from these similarities, there are inherent differences between Islamic prescriptions and the actual practices in Kashmir. The bereaved are obliged to accept the loss gracefully so that it becomes a source of reward and blessing for them on the Day of Judgement. However, it was observed that bereaved, especially women, show disbelief in the will of Allah and they start crying, waling, lamenting, and scratching after the death of their loved one. It is recommended that Muslims should not delay the burial in order for the maximum number of relatives to see the deceased. However, waiting and delaying has become a common practice in Kashmir. People wait for the relatives who live in faraway places to come and have a final look at the deceased person. Paying the debt of the deceased person is an important task, which must be done as soon as possible. However, in reality, the bereaved become so busy in their grief that they do not pay attention to paying the debt. As per Islamic principles, food is brought by others for the first 3 days after death. However, it was revealed that some categories of people (from high-income groups) take it as a shame. So, they themselves cook food and serve it to the guests. Also, the food brought to the bereaved and the guests is not simple but include a number of dishes, which denote a kind of celebration, not mourning. Furthermore, Islam has recommended that the bereaved wear simple clothes during the period of mourning. However, women (both the bereaved and those who come to offer condolences) wear fancy dresses, use perfumes, adorn themselves, and wear a great deal of jewelry. People who come to offer condolences regularly ask the bereaved about the death and sit for long periods of time, and they continue talking about the routine affairs, which is totally forbidden in Islam.

Islam has also recommended that people must control individuals who are expressive. However, in Kashmir, those women who come to offer condolences join the bereaved women in wailing and lamenting. Wailing becomes very expressive if the deceased is young or if the person dies suddenly. Sometimes, the bereaved goes to the extent of questioning the will of Allah. Faith includes the belief that Allah is the source of all good and that all of His actions are wise. Proper faith would never allow those individuals who possess it to commit such acts of ignorance. Furthermore, Muslims in Kashmir mourn beyond the 3-day recommended mourning period. They hold ceremonies on the 4th day, the first Monday, the first Friday, the 15th day, the 40th day, after 1 year, and also on the first Eid, which is prohibited in Islam, because such practices are regarded as the source of renewing grief. However, the society’s cultural idea is that long-lasting grief and mourning help in a rapid return to normal life. On all these days, people who are well versed in reading Qur’an are invited to perform khatam for the benefit of the deceased, which is also regarded to be an innovation to the normal Islamic practices. Visiting graves of the deceased on the anniversary of a person’s death, at the time of annual festivals, or on fixed days is forbidden. However, the results indicated that close relatives of the deceased visit the grave of the deceased person on fixed days and pray for the deceased person and recite Qur’anic verses. Bereaved family also make animal sacrifices and distribute Tehri among the poor in the name of deceased. All these actions exist outside the context of Islam with no basis on the religious edicts. The mourners also stop coming out of their homes, do not marry for months, stop attending functions, stop cooking some foods, and even pickles are not made for months at the deceased person’s house. All these activities are regarded as inauspicious by people. However, such acts are forbidden in Islam.

The results of this study suggested that people generally abide by the religious practices prescribed by Islam. However, they normally go beyond these fundamental teachings while negotiating with the cultural rituals and practices guaranteed by their respective societies. The traditions and the elements of Islamic culture are transmitted across generations despite minor individual variations and modifications. Religion and cultural practices together are the basic prerequisites of any society to sustain its moral fabric after any loss. Such practices help to generate the positive mental health and relief for the family and friends of deceased persons.

Limitations and Scope for Further Research

Death-related practices vary across societies and even in different parts of the same society. This study cannot be generalized to the whole population of Kashmir as the study was carried out in a specific part of Kashmir. In Kashmir, people belong to different sects, regions, communities, and classes. More importantly, Kashmir has witnessed armed conflict for 30 years, which has also influenced mourning as these deaths are considerably different from the normal deaths. Apart from these limitations, however, the study opens new dimensions for future research. Future studies can address the above-reflected issues in order to gain insights on the subject and to enrich academic circles.

Conclusions

The results of the study revealed that bereavement and mourning commonly follow the demise of an individual. However, they differ in duration and degree across individuals and cultures. Kashmiri Muslim society has a distinctive culture with long-lasting customs, traditions, and ideals, along with a strong religious faith. As in other spheres and phases of life, amalgamations of these traditional and religious convictions also affect death ceremonies, mourning, and grief responses. The Islamic tradition guides the bereaved family along with the bereaved community from the early announcement of death through the postmourning period. Islam holds life as holy and the property to God, and it states that all creatures will pass away one day. In this regard, Islam has set definite prescriptions and proscriptions on the ways to mourn death. Islam considers the reverential concern of the departed soul, the aid for the bereaved family, and it provides guidelines for a shared rejoinder as well. Eventually, in every community, the level to which religious belief is fundamental to one’s life is moderated by local culture and traditions, which shape the process of mourning. On the basis of the results, it can be concluded that Muslims of Kashmir generally abide by the religious teachings of Islam, but cultural practices preside over religious teachings most of the times creating diverse experiences.

Footnotes

Author Biographies

Mohmad S. Jahangir senior assistant professor (Sociology) has been working in the Department of Sociology, University of Kashmir since 2008. Interested in the field of Globalization and Marxism, he has a book to his credit besides many research papers published in various reputed journals. Moreover being Macie Curie fellow for the year 2014 at University of Macerata in Italy, he has also been to University of Szczecin, Poland in 2015 under 7 Framework Programme, Marie Curie Actions, People, International Research Staff Exchange Scheme.

Wasia Hamid is presently perusing PhD from the Department of Sociology, University of Kashmir under the Supervision of Dr Mohmad Saleem Jahangir. She is working on the topic entitled “Death related rituals and practices among Muslims of Kashmir: A Case Study of Srinagar City.” She has completed her Masters in Sociology from University of Kashmir in the year 2016.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Wasia Hamid

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