Echoes of Slavery: Reflections on Contemporary Racial Discrimination in Black Americans’ Romantic Relationships

Abstract

Informed by ecological and intersectional perspectives, this study examined how Black Americans’ reflections on the historical context of slavery and experiences with discrimination shaped their understandings of and experiences within their own relationships. In-depth semi-structured interviews were conducted with 14 individuals in romantic relationships. Findings of the thematic analysis covered five themes: comparing social climates, assumptions about Black relationships, the discrimination triad, an opportunity to respond, and valuing and celebrating Black love. Contemporary experiences of discrimination were a filter that echoed the historical devaluing and mistreatment of Black individuals and their relationships. Partners’ interactions around discrimination were critical opportunities to offer support to their romantic partner.

Keywords

Black Americans Black family Black marriage romantic relationships racial discrimination slavery police brutality

Black Americans’ romantic relationships: Reflections on the historical context of slavery and contemporary racial discrimination

The summer months of 2020 in the United States were marked by multiple protests in response to police racial bias. For many, these events reflected centuries of anti-Black racism rooted in the capture, enslavement, and harsh treatment of Black bodies that continued after emancipation (Matthews, 2020; Taylor, 2021). Racial discrimination is a chronic stressor for Black Americans that exacerbates responses to stress, accelerates aging, and undermines psychological and physical wellbeing (Chae et al., 2020; Pascoe & Smart Richman, 2009). Such external and chronic environmental stressors may have a substantial influence on relationship dynamics (Randall & Bodenmann, 2017). To date, most research on racial discrimination and Black Americans’ romantic relationships emphasizes the adverse influence of perceived discrimination on relationship quality (e.g., Lincoln & Chae, 2010). However, the ways that Black Americans are influenced by racial discrimination may partly rely on how they interpret contemporary discrimination relative to the sociohistorical context. Despite the theoretical significance of the socio-historical context undergirding contemporary instances of discrimination, researchers know less about how perceptions of historical context shape individuals’ understandings of and experiences within their relationships. Using ecological (Bronfenbrenner, 1994) and intersectional (Crenshaw, 1991) perspectives, the current study employs qualitative data to examine how individuals’ perception of the historical context of slavery contribute to experiences within their romantic relationships.

Conceptual frameworks

Ecological (Bronfenbrenner, 1994) and intersectional (Crenshaw, 1991; Few-Demo, 2014) perspectives underscore the importance of temporal context by arguing that historical events have reverberating influences on the contemporary social environment for individuals at various social positions. Employing intersectionality and ecological theories to examine Black Americans’ relationships from a socio-historical perspective emphasizes how the historically gendered experience of racism may manifest within romantic partnerships. Ecological perspectives argue that society is composed of embedded systems that operate in concert with one another to influence human development (Bronfenbrenner, 1994). As the smallest system, the microsystem references increasingly complex interactions within patterned activities and social roles such as romantic partners interactions. The macro- and chronosystems are the broadest and capture less tangible systemic influences. The macrosystem references broad patterns that communicate the culture of the environment, including the opportunity structures that shape individuals’ lives. The chronosystem refers to change or consistency in individuals’ social environments over time. Aspects of any given context and time may simultaneously impact how people interact. Patterned interactions between romantic partners may be shaped by events in the macrosystem and interpreted based on historic changes or consistencies in social policies. For example, romantic partners may engage in more or less supportive behaviors when race-related events (e.g., Black Lives Matter protests) permeate their environment which may be perceived as progress (or regressions and reflections) in the fight for basic civil rights.

Relatedly, intersectionality argues that the interlocking systems of oppression and privilege designated to social positions like race, class, gender, and sexuality, are inextricably rooted within a socio-historical context (Crenshaw, 1991; Few-Demo, 2014). Thus, racism cannot be disentangled from other forms of oppression nor from the historical events and institutions that uphold ongoing experiences of discrimination. Although Black men and Black women are exposed to racism, the interpretation and influence of a racist event may also be gendered. That is, Black men and women may differentially interpret the socio-historical context, experience ongoing discrimination, and be stereotyped in ways that shape relationship dynamics. Notably, a history of overt and covert racism can be a salient aspect of how people come to understand their Blackness. Representational intersectionality (Crenshaw, 1989) specifically captures how public perceptions and discourse of racial and ethnic minority groups inflict harm by, in part, presenting them as deficient and subordinate. Thus, representational intersectionality captures how, for example, Black men may be perceived as dangerous and Black women as angry during routine activities. These perceptions may contribute to whether and how individuals respond to racist events.

In the context of mixed-gender romantic relationships, partners may rely on one another when interpreting and responding to racial discrimination (i.e., the microsystem). The gendered oppression that partners experience reflects an intersectional macro- and chronosystem where Black men and Black women have experienced differential treatment and oppression over historic and contemporary time that may also manifest in partnered interactions. Based on ecological and intersectional frameworks, discrimination reflects a historical context that continues to affect individuals across intersecting social positions as well as their relationships.

Historical context of slavery and Black Americans’ romantic relationships

African Americans maintain a unique social history within the United States as enslaved involuntary migrants. Enslaved Black individuals were forced to marry and have children only to face separation when slave owners opted to sale one or both partners (Hunter, 2017). In addition to fearing forced separation would disrupt their relationships, enslaved individuals witnessed their partners’ beatings and worried for the safety of partners sold to places known for particularly harsh treatment (Guttman, 1976; West, 2004). Despite concerns about togetherness and safety, partners risked physical harm in efforts to maintain their relationships (West, 2004). Although the racial trauma of enslaved Black people is argued to have multigenerational consequences on all life domains (Pinderhughes, 2002), white slave owners and those in power enforced sanctions (restrictions on whether people could marry, consequences for Black men financially supporting – and failing to support – multiple children) that undergird the framing of Black families and relationships as dysfunctional (Hunter, 2017). For example, the Moynihan report advanced negative narratives around single Black mothers and absent Black fathers that persist (U.S. Department of Labor, 1965). In addition, Jim Crow laws – which effectively rescinded any semblance of Black civil rights – and ongoing racial inequities in aggressive policing and incarceration perpetuate narratives around Black people being inferior, Black men being unfit partners, and Black women being undesirable. The historic mistreatment and persistent stereotyping of Black individuals and families may present as barriers for romantic partners that obstruct the quality of partners interactions.

Black partners’ highlight the importance of having a shared understanding of the historical context of slavery and its influence on family life (Awosan & Hardy, 2017; Nightingale et al., 2019). In a qualitative assessment of relationship maintenance among Black couples, partners pointed to the history of slavery and ongoing experiences of racial discrimination (Dainton, 2017). Couples describe themselves as determined to support one another, especially in the face of race-related stress, given the negative influence of slavery on Black family dynamics. In addition, couples felt they had to work harder than non-Black couples to maintain their relationship and unearth negative stereotypes about African Americans’ relationships. Similarly, Awosan and Hardy (2017) found that partners viewed the challenges in their relationships through the lens of historic and ongoing racial oppression. This initial evidence of the lingering effects of slavery on Black romantic partners’ interactions highlight the need to explicitly attend to historical context when assessing discrimination.

Racial discrimination and Black Americans’ romantic relationships

Racial discrimination is an anticipated chronic stressor for Black Americans who may either respond with action by, for example, addressing the stressor or inaction by accepting discrimination as normal (Peters & Massey, 1983). An established body of literature indicates that discrimination negatively affects Black Americans’ physical and psychological wellbeing (e.g., Williams et al., 1997; Williams et al., 2019) and a growing body of literature highlights how discrimination can infiltrate romantic relationships (Bryant et al., 2010; Barr et al., 2022). For example, cross-sectional studies indicate that racial discrimination is associated with greater observer- and partner-reported support (Clavél et al., 2017), greater spousal strain (Priest et al., 2020), and poorer relationship quality (Murry et al., 2008). However, some longitudinal assessments suggest no association between discrimination and relationship processes like communication and satisfaction (Barton et al., 2018).

The mixed findings around racial discrimination and relationship processes may related to the intersectional experience of discrimination. For example, Black men and women having a shared understanding of race-related issues, including the historic context of slavery, and important in romantic relationships (Awosan & Hardy, 2017; Nightingale et al., 2019). However, Black men’s experiences of discrimination may be viewed with more salience than Black women’s experiences (Awosan & Hardy, 2017). In a recent study Black male partners reported more discrimination than their Black wives (McNeil Smith et al., 2020). However, only Black husbands were protected from the adverse influence of discrimination when they perceived racism-specific support from their partner. In fact, Black wives reported poorer mental health when their husbands perceived them as providing more racism-specific support (McNeil Smith et al., 2020). Moreover, when husbands report more discrimination, their depressive symptoms were associated with poorer marital satisfaction for wives (Jenkins et al., 2020). These findings support the idea that partners’ experiences of racial oppression across ecological systems in gendered ways.

Current study

Instances of and responses to discrimination partly depend on an individuals’ perceptions of the historical context surrounding the stressor and have adverse implications for family relationships (McNeil Smith & Landor, 2018). Despite the conceptual nods to historical context and growing body of work on discrimination and relationship processes, little research has taken a focused historical perspective on Black American’s romantic relationships. In line with descriptions of qualitative approaches as enhancing understanding of intricate concepts by focusing on peoples’ realities and frames of reference, (Creswell, 2007; Taylor et al., 2015), this study employed qualitative methods to gain a descriptive understanding of a complex phenomenon (i.e., the lingering effects of slavery) and to assess the attributions individuals attached to this phenomenon in the context of their romantic relationships. Given that racial discrimination has been associated with relationship processes and has historical roots in the US enslavement of Black people, the current study examines the research question: How do reflections on the historical context of slavery and contemporary experiences of discrimination contribute to Black Americans’ romantic relationships?

Method

Sample and procedure

The present study used purposive sampling to recruit Black American individuals in romantic relationships between 2020 and 2021. Following approval from the institutional review board, participants were recruited by electronically distributing fliers and recruitment text describing the study to community centers (e.g., YMCA), service providers (e.g., counseling centers), and on social media. Eligible participants must have self-identified as African American or Black American, heterosexual, at least 18 years old, and as being in an intra-racial, romantic relationship for at least 1 year.¹ The final sample included 14 individuals. Eight of the individuals’ partners were also participants (n = 6 individuals and 4 dyads). Participants were between 24 and 33 years old (M = 28.5) and had been in their relationships for an average of 4.02 years (Range: 1.5–10 years). Two participants reported having had prior marriages and four were parents. Additional demographics are provided in Table 1.

Table 1.

Participant demographics.

Pseudonym (partner)	Gender	Age	Relationship status	Cohabiting	Relationship length	Education level	Geographic region	Parent	Interview format	Length, min
Individuals
Ariel	Female	27	Exclusively dating	No	3 years	NA	Florida	Yes	Zoom	56
Elizabeth	Female	24	Exclusively dating	No	5 years	Masters	Indiana	No	Zoom	81
Sam	Female	30	Engaged	Yes	2.5 years	NA	Texas	NA	Zoom	70
Shae	Female	28	Exclusively dating	No	1.5 Years	Masters	Florida	No	Zoom	60
^aSnow	Female	33	Exclusively dating	No	4.5 years	NA	Iowa	^bYes	Zoom	81
^aWade	Male	33	Married	Yes	4 years	Technical college	Alabama	No	Telephone	58
Couples
Martin	Male	30	Engaged	Yes	10 years	Associate	Texas	Yes	Zoom	64
Gina	Female	33	Engaged	Yes	10 years	Associate degree	Texas	^bYes	Zoom	76
Kingmaker	Male	27	Engaged	No	5.5 years	Masters	New York	No	Zoom	80
Stella Ann	Female	27	Engaged	No	5.5 years	Masters	Alabama	No	Zoom	79
Preston	Male	31	Exclusively dating	Yes	2 years	NA	North Carolina	No	Zoom	63
Tasha	Female	26	Exclusively dating	Yes	2 years	NA	North Carolina	No	Zoom	60
Vivian	Female	25	Exclusively dating	No	2.5 years	Master’s	Alabama	No	Zoom	73
Phil	Male	25	Exclusively dating	No	2.5 years	Master’s	Alabama	No	Zoom	41

^aIn or entering second marriage.

^bat least 1 child from prior relationship.

Participants individually completed semi-structured interviews (M = 67.29 minutes) that addressed three broad areas. First, participants were asked about perceptions of African Americans’ romantic relationships. These questions were intended to uncover implicit and explicit stereotypes about African Americans’ romantic relationships. For example, participants were asked to complete the sentence, “Black couples are…” The next set of questions prompted interviewees to reflect on their experiences of racial discrimination and were intended to generate initial reflections on historical context. For example, participants were asked “Can you tell me about a time where you and your partner were together when a discriminatory experience happened?” The final set of questions focused on historical context to provide detailed accounts on how beliefs and perceptions about the historical context of slavery for Black Americans in the US influenced perceptions, expectations, and interactions within African Americans romantic relationships. An example question is, “What conversations have you had with your partner about the historical context of slavery?” Interviews concluded with participants sharing additional topics relevant to Black romantic relationships and reflecting on positive memories with their partner. Participants were assigned pseudonyms and all interviews were transcribed and uploaded in NVivo.

Data analysis

Data were analyzed at the individual level using thematic analysis which accommodates inductive and deductive reasoning in the analysis process (Braun & Clarke, 2006, 2012). Audio and transcripts of the interviews were listened to and read repeatedly for data familiarization ahead of initial coding. Initial in-vivo codes were developed based on the data of the first two women’s and two men’s transcripts. These four transcripts were coded in their entirety with line-by-line coding to identify preliminary in-vivo codes. Four undergraduate research team members were trained as second coders and included in the coding process. Each transcript was independently coded by the author and at least one other research team member. Initial codes were discussed among the research team and revised, collapsed, deleted, and expanded throughout the analytic process. Accordingly, the codebook was continually refined throughout the coding process. Codes were compared and discrepancies were discussed until consensus was reached.

To identify themes, the coded data were sorted and compared within and across codes and across participants. Themes were refined by reviewing all data under a particular code for patterns. This process included identifying potential subthemes within the data. For example, the codes being overlooked, ending up murdered, and seeing discrimination, were combined under the theme discriminatory event, and later revised to discrimination triad to capture the subthemes. The research team also employed memoing as empirical and reflexive spaces for documenting research decisions, ideas, and emergent data patterns throughout the process. Memos provided space for the constant comparison of codes and themes for refinement. Themes were also discussed during research team meetings.

Managing data quality

Data quality was enhanced through four strategies: member checks, peer debriefing, negative case analysis, and maintenance of an audit trail (Lincoln & Guba, 1985; Taylor et al., 2015). First, I employed member checking during the interview via question-answer validity. This process involved paraphrasing participants’ responses to clarify or check that my interpretations aligned with the participant’s intended message. Participants were also given the opportunity to assess whether findings adequately reflected their realities. Peer debriefing involved consultations with colleagues and research team members to evaluate interpretations of data. After each transcript was independently coded, the research team met to discuss and resolve discrepancies in the coding and the meanings of themes. Negative cases were identified within the data and explored in analysis. After analysis, it was determined that data saturation was reached by the 11^th interview. Finally, I maintained detailed notes via memos to form an audit trail which included documenting revisions to the interview protocol and codebook.

Findings

Five themes were identified relating to the historical context of slavery, contemporary discrimination, and participants’ romantic relationships: comparing social climates, assumptions about Black relationships, a discrimination triad, an opportunity to respond, and valuing and celebrating Black love. Descriptions of each theme and subtheme are summarized in Table 2. Data displays for each theme are provided in the Supplemental files.

Table 2.

Summary of Study Findings.

Theme subthemes	Description	n (%)
Comparing social climates	Parallels between life for Black couples during the historical context of slavery and life for Black couples now	14 (100%)
Comparing the social climate around discrimination	The recency of slavery replicated in modern society	10 (71%)
Family separation and the will to stay together	The separation of Black couples and families during slavery and in modern society	9 (64%)
Gender and power dynamics	Emasculation of Black men during slavery and contemporary gender dynamics in relationships	7 (50%)
Assumptions about Black relationships	Assumptions participants heard about Black partnerships	14 (100%)
Black couples and families	Messages about the Black relationships being susceptible to dissolution	13 (93%)
Black women	Messages about Black women's fitness as romantic partners	12 (86%)
Black men	Messages about Black men's fitness as romantic partners	11 (79%)
Strengths in Black relationships	Identifying the positive messages about Black partnerships	11 (79%)
A discrimination triad	Individuals’ experiences with, exposure to, and expectations of discrimination	14 (100%)
Experiences	Experiences of discrimination, including undesired attention and being overlooked	13 (93%)
Exposures	Exposures to discrimination, including hearing about or observing discrimination that someone other than their partner experienced	13 (93%)
Expections	Expectations of discrimination, including hyperawareness, concerns about physical or psychological safety, and attempts to evade discrimination	13 (93%)
An opportunity to respond	Responses in discussions about discrimination	14 (100%)
Affirming and encouraging	Being and perceiving affirmation and encouragement	13 (93%)
Challenges in understanding	Anticipating and lacking understanding	4 (29%)
Valuing and celebrating black love	Highlighting the value and importance of black couples	14 (100%)

Comparing social climates

Comparing social climates captured three parallels between the lives of modern Black couples and the lives of Black couples during slavery. These similarities centered on the social climate around discrimination, the ways Black families face involuntary separation, and on how partners’ interactions were partly influenced by gendered power dynamics.

Comparing the social climate around discrimination

Comparisons between the historical and contemporary social climates around racial discrimination centered on the recency of slavery and how it has been repackaged in modern society. For example, Ariel described how “the historical illness of slavery isn’t really that historical to me, it’s still here. It’s very present in our everyday lives.” Similarly, Phil shared:

Racial discrimination is built into society in America - just because the legacy of slavery, the legacy of reconstruction, the legacy of Jim Crow, and the legacy of hyper policing… we have a long legacy of systems in our society that tell us that Black people are lesser, and they don't deserve to be fully human in our society.

Like Phil, other participants specifically referenced incarceration or intersections with law enforcement as a reflection of what life was like for enslaved individuals. Gina, who previously worked at a jail described it as “the new age slavery” for Black Americans. Thus, individuals not only identified social ills within the historical context of slavery, but also directly compared them to modern social ills that Black Americans faced. Participants often expressed disappointment with social change, noting a lack of progress as well as feelings of anger and frustration. Although Elizabeth perceived social progress she ultimately felt that “a lot has not changed” and shared that she and her partner frequently reflected on “being Black in America… being Black, being safe.” These general experiences of unfair treatment were perceived as cycling through generations and acted as a lens through which individuals interpreted contemporary couple and family dynamics in relation to being Black in America.

Family separation and the will to stay together

Participants also identified family separation as an event that not only happened during slavery, but also was a collateral consequence of ongoing discrimination rooted in the historical context of slavery. Snow described slavery as “the root of breaking the Black household,” that inflicted unhealed trauma and was also reflected through mass incarceration. Stella Ann and Preston echoed these sentiments and emphasized the role of slavery and modern incarceration in Black men being perceived as absent family members. Reflections on the prison system as a modern representation of slavery and active force in the continued separation of families was met with lamentations of it being “too late for many people and many families that have already been ripped apart” (Snow).

In the face of separation, participants reflected on historic and contemporary efforts of couples to stay together. Enslaved couples were perceived as determined to stay together despite the challenges they were facing. For example, Tasha and Sam described enslaved couples as needing to have “the will to stay together” and “sticking things out.” Gina described these efforts were as valuable and potentially essential for survival because “during slavery times…they were all [each other] had” (Gina). She describes her and her partner, as making the same effort to stick together through challenges in their efforts to maintain their relationships.

Importantly, historic and contemporary efforts to stay together were not always viewed as beneficial. Participants noted how, historically, “Black families weren’t able to stay together during slavery” (Ariel). As a result, staying in relationships “regardless of if it’s toxic or not” (Elizabeth) was viewed as a contemporary reflection of resisting historic family separation. Similarly, Shae stated:

The idea has been if you get the chance to be together and stay together, it doesn't matter what else is happening in between… to be together is enough. You don’t have to have any of the other good or healthy things. But just being together is an accomplishment in and of itself.

Thus, participants identified a sense of family separation and potentially unhealthy dynamics when partners did stay together as lingering effects of the historical context of slavery.

Gender and power dynamics

Participants also made comparisons in how gender and power dynamics during slavery played a role in the lives of Black couples today. Black men were viewed as being emasculated by slave owners and society during slavery. For example, Kingmaker described how enslaved Black men would be publicly raped and Preston and Martin reflected on the sense of defenselessness and helplessness men might have felt as when their wives were raped by slave owners. Black women viewed the historic emasculation of Black men as cultivating an expectation for Black women to “submit” to their male partners in order to avoid mimicking and to counteract the lack of power Black men had in society. As a result, Black women felt an emotional burden and a duty to ensure their Black male partners felt power within the romantic relationship in order to “recreate that power structure that they are not really able to engage in in other ways” (Shae). Indeed, Preston described the importance of having a supportive partner given “everything that a Black male would go through in today’s world.” Thus, participants identified modern gender and power dynamics as adaptations to the circumstances of Black Americans’ enslavement.

Assumptions about Black relationships

Assumptions about Black relationships captured messages participants had heard about Black partnerships. Most often, these messages took the form of negative stereotypes about Black relationships and were attributed broadly to the media (e.g., music, television, social media). Participants explicitly attributed these assumptions to the historical context of slavery, noting that sometimes stereotypes were “comin’ from a real place” (Martin), and that their own experiences sometimes stood in “juxtaposition” (Ariel) to these messages. Assumptions about Black relationships centered around four subthemes: Black couples and families, Black women as romantic partners, Black men as romantic partners, and strengths in Black relationships.

Black couples and families

Participants identified general assumptions about Black couples and families. On one hand, Black relationships were seen as unstable and susceptible to falling apart. For example, Ariel described how people are “fed an idea that Black families don’t stay together,” and Wade noted that others view Black couples as being characterized by “infidelity.” On the other hand, when Black partners stayed together the relationships were stereotyped as being “toxic or unhealthy” (Vivian). For example, when Black couples get married, they may be viewed as unhappy, unhealthy, or unlikely to stay together. Elizabeth shared in this sentiment, noting that Black relationships were thought of as “strife” involving “a lot of disagreement and discontent.” Similarly, Wade shared that Black couples may engage in more negative interactions, such as disrespectful communication, as their relationships progress. Notably, Black couples may be presented as either “very aggressive” or “very sweet,” ignoring the spectrum of potential relationship quality (Tasha). Relatedly, Sam noted that while successful and healthy Black relationships exist, “society tends to put more emphasis on the failures of Black relationships.”

Black women as romantic partners

Both men and women in the sample described assumptions about the desirability Black women as romantic partners. In Elizabeth’s early dating experiences, she felt that “nobody wants to date the Black girl.” Black women were described as having an “independent mindset” that communicated they did not need or value Black men (Gina). Moreover, Black women were described as having bad attitudes, being unable to keep men, and as treating men poorly. Shae faced these assumptions even when there was “no evidence” to suggest she had treated her partner poorly. Participants also identified assumptions about Black women’s temperament as “aggressive” relationship partners who are expected to forgive their partners relationship transgressions with ease.

Black men as romantic partners

Participants also identified assumptions about the suitability of Black men as romantic partners and Black men’s lack of desire for Black women. Kingmaker viewed this assumption as “false,” stating that the many Black men he knew of were in intraracial partnerships. Black men were also described as unlovable or unfit for monogamous relationships. For example, Martin, Preston, and Phil identified assumptions that “Black men are pimps, Black men must have multiple women, and Black men don’t treat women right” (Phil). Preston noted that he made intentional efforts avoid confirming that stereotype. In addition to being viewed as non-committal, Vivian shared that Black men may be viewed as less affectionate saying that Black men are “not supposed to be soft, you’re not supposed to be affectionate, not in public. Be affectionate at home, don’t be affectionate in public.” Kingmaker echoed this sentiment and, like Preston, made intentional efforts not to be stereotyped as unaffectionate by regularly engaging in public displays of affection with his partner.

Strengths in Black relationships

In addition to stereotypic assumptions about Black partners and partnerships, participants noted the strengths of Black couples. Gina described Black couples as “…so unique. It’s crazy. We go through so much, and we still fight through it.” Martin, Gina’s fiancé, also noted strengths of Black couples by emphasizing the “endurance to stay together and stick with it.” Like Martin and Gina, Sam described Black couples as “toughing it out” and “work[ing] through the good and the bad.” Additionally, Ariel noted that stereotypes cultivate fear or avoidance of family structures that were not necessarily problematic.

A discrimination triad – experienced, exposed, and expected

Participants identified the historical context of slavery as contributing to the contemporary social climate around race and their experiences of racial discrimination. They discussed they ways themselves and their partners had experienced, been exposed to, or were expecting discrimination a daily basis due to prior experiences and stimuli in their environments.

Experiences with discrimination

Experiences of discrimination ranged from microaggressions to more overt experiences and were generally described as instances where participants were either overlooked or received undesired attention. When describing how she experienced discrimination on a daily basis, Gina let out an exhausted “same old shit, different toilet.” Participants described experiencing discrimination while out on dates or during daily activities. For example, many participants described being overlooked at restaurants. When experienced individually, participants often told their partners about the discrimination. For example, Stella Ann described immediately going to her partner after being told she would be unable to graduate if she did not change her hairstyle. After hearing about their partners, experience of discrimination individuals sometimes felt helpless – especially when discrimination occurred in a professional context. For example, Preston described feeling angry and powerless after his partner shared that she was spit on at work. Thus, participants described varying ways that they experienced subtle and overt discrimination individually as well as alongside their partners.

Exposures to discrimination

Exposure to discrimination occurred when participants witnessed or heard about the discriminatory experiences of someone other than their romantic partner, often through media. These exposures became a part of couples’ communication and future planning. For example, participants referenced their and their partners’ reactions to the murder of George Floyd and other instances of police brutality including Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and Keith Lamont Scott. There were also instances where participants acknowledged the discrimination they had been exposed to, but chose not have an explicit discussion with their partners. Elizabeth shared that after seeing videos depicting police brutality against Black Americans, she would often be “bedridden for a couple of days.” She explained that her partner knew that she needed “time to just be and process” and would check in by saying “Okay, if you don’t want to talk, I’m here when you do.” Notably, partners may have desired to communicate but opted out of doing so due to a sense of helplessness. For example, after exposure to the murders of multiple Black people at the hands of police in the summer of 2020, Kingmaker wanted to talk with his partner but experienced four depressive spells and lamented, “what could she really say to encourage me?”

Expectations of discrimination

Expectations of discrimination involved vigilance as individuals anticipated ways that they or their partner might experience discrimination, even it never manifested. These expectations were often linked to prior personal experience with or exposure to discrimination. For example, Martin described his own experiences of discrimination as dating back to his youth. His partner, Gina, described Martin as “automatically expecting [discrimination].” In expecting discrimination, participants were hyperaware of their environments and attended to issues of safety. For example, Kingmaker also had extensive experiences of racial discrimination – including racial slurs, threats of violence, and having eggs thrown at him – that dated back to adolescence and primed him to “always be cognizant of if there’s danger out here.”

Black women specifically expected their Black male partners to face discrimination that compromised men’s physical safety and lives. As a result, Black women described checking-in or taking specific actions to confirm their partner was safe. When describing why she tells her partner to “be careful” at the end of their date nights, Vivian shared:

Right down the street from where he lives there is a police department that is well known for being very discriminatory, not treating Black men fairly. Not treating Black people fairly, but particularly Black men. They’ve had some shootings in the past. So for me, it's always telling him be careful. Yeah, be careful with the car you're driving, there could be deer out, yada, yada, yada. But also, be careful because there are people out there who literally want to do you harm because of how you look. And he’ll say the same for me.

When learning that her partner had been stopped by the police, Snow responded by checking her partner’s location. Similarly, Elizabeth explained how she and her partner share their locations with one another, saying: “We are super cognizant of where each other is. With our discussions around Breonna [Taylor], we are trying to be really hyper concerned about the safety of one another. I think is a really big layer of our relationship.” Gina shared in these sentiments, emphasizing the importance of knowing her partner’s location and saying that she gets “scared” and “worried.” Gina explained how she reacted when it took Martin too long to return a phone call after learning he had been stopped by the police:

I'm hoppin’ in my car and I'm coming to where [Martin is] at the gas station. Because my heart is like, it’s scary… Sometimes I get to the point where I get so nervous, I make sure – I have a good friend of mine. She's a cop. – I’m like, okay, let me call a few of my friends to make sure they ain’t got no call or nothin’ on the radio about somebody gettin’ shot or somethin’. If it takes him too long to call me back. Yeah, I get worried….I search Facebook to see if it’s some breaking news. I know, folks think is extra, but I just get so scared. I get paranoid.

Participants also took steps to evade discrimination all together. For example, Wade described the importance of being a “goody two shoes” to avoid discrimination in the military and at work. Ariel described how her partner was concerned about how people perceived him because his hair was loc’d and hoped to evade discrimination by monitoring his appearance. Put differently, Elizabeth shared how she and her partner were hyperaware of how “the world and others” perceived them took intentional steps, like staying together when in stores to avoid be followed, to evaded potential discrimination. These expectations of discrimination and concerns about safety were viewed as reflections of the historical context of slavery. As Elizabeth shared, “thinking of how to be safe in the future is a big part of our relationships, that was a big part of relationships of folks who were enslaved.”

An opportunity to respond supportively

Discussing experiences of, exposures to, and expectations of racial discrimination partners emphasized the idea that racial discrimination was a shared experience and provided opportunities for partners to respond supportively. On one hand, partners readily responded with encouragement and support. However, despite the shared understanding of the history of slavery and contemporary racial discrimination, some partners perceived themselves or their partners as providing inadequate support.

Affirming and encouraging responses

Participants described how they and/or their partners were supportive in discussions about racial discrimination. One way that partners offered support was by affirming one another’s experiences. After separating briefly at a department store, Vivian describes how she responded when Phil told her about someone using a racial slur: “He’s like, ‘Hey, can you believe that this happened to me?’ And I’m like, ‘I absolutely can. This is not surprising to me.” Like Phil, Tasha and Snow turned to their partners for affirmation in the face of discrimination. Tasha described turning to her partner after being overlooked at a restaurant, saying: “I’ll be like, ‘Babe am I trippin’? It’ll start with a question, just to make sure we’re not taking – internalizing things personally, opposed to like something really happening.” Snow expressed the importance of this affirmation saying, “it’s the moment that we both recognize it. That’s how we know, without either of us saying something, we both saw whatever that was that made us feel uncomfortable enough to look at each other like ‘am I trippin'? Did you see that too?’” These types of supportive responses were important in helping participants feel “like, okay, I’m not insane” (Shae).

Another way that partners were supportive was by offering encouragement and alternatives. Sam described how expecting to face discrimination was an impetus for her and her partner to regularly affirm one another, saying, “we’re constantly giving each other validation at home, so that we’re not seeking in the workforce. We’re not seeking it when we go out from somebody else.” Elizbeth said that her partner was one of the first people she turned to when she experienced discrimination because of his empathetic and encouraging response:

He hears me out.…he’s always like, “You’re worthy. They’re feeling intimidated by you. You got this.” He’ll let me vent, and then he’ll be like, “Yeah, they were definitely out of line.” And then he’ll provide some encouragement, or he’ll encourage me to be like, “Yeah, like, pop off!” I come up with my comeback hours after the situation happened. I’ll be also like, “I should have said, XYZ in response to this thing.” And so I’ll tell him. “next time, I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind!” He’ll be like, “Yeah! I support you in that!” So he’s a very like, do what you need to do type person.

When Black women experienced racial discrimination at work, their Black male partners specifically supported and encouraged a change of environment. For example, after facing discrimination at work Shae’s partner encouraged her to “tell that man to kiss your tail” and affirming “if you need a new job, let’s start looking for one.” Similarly, Gina described Martin as encouraging her to leave environments where she faced repeated instances of discrimination. Martin shared in this sentiment, stating that he tries “to give a positive feedback. If that job don’t want you because you look like that, that job’s not for you.” Preston felt that being supportive and encouraged a change of work environments was his only course of action: “It’s kind of hard. I can only really offer her words of support, encouragement, and just reassurance that like if you decide to leave that job, I got you, like we good, we gonna be fine.” Black men’s encouragement to change work environments was well received by their partners. For example, Stella Ann described Kingmaker as “very, very supportive” after he encouraged her by saying “find a new job if you need one. Because we can move today.”

Challenges in understanding between partners

Most participants were comfortable talking with their partners about their experiences with, exposures to, and expectations of discrimination. However, not all discussions about discrimination generated feelings of support, affirmation, and understanding. There were instances where participants’ partners did not provide affirmations or where they anticipated that their partners would not understand their experiences. Although she described herself as supportive, Ariel shared that her partner “likes to play the devil’s advocate” and he would often respond with questions like “maybe it's not [racism], you never know. It could be something else” and “Do you know that it's necessarily because you’re Black?” She expressed a desire for her partner to “be on my side more” and shared that “I know that he’s not actually attacking me. But emotionally, it sometimes feels like he is.” Gina also described herself as struggling in her efforts to be understanding of Martin’s constant expectation of discrimination.

Black men specifically hesitated to discuss discrimination with their partners whom they anticipated would not understand their experience. Rather than talking to their partners about their own experiences with, exposures to, and expectations of discrimination, Preston and Wade preferred talking to other Black men. Wade described Black women as having more privilege than Black men and believed that led to Black men experiencing more discrimination than Black women. Wade felt that he could talk to his partner and “she can agree with me on how I feel but I think the ultimate agreement would be with a Black man.” Wade also described himself as struggling to be understanding when his partner disclosed her experiences of discrimination and credited this to his prior experiences in law enforcement. He describes himself as listening when to his partners’ disclosures but shared that he was “still trying to piece together what was the discrimination.” For Wade and his partner, discussions about discrimination were a source of negative feelings. Like Wade, Preston shared that his “challenge is understanding.” Speaking about a men’s group that was (by happenstance) solely composed of Black men, Preston shared that Black men spoke more freely about discrimination in homogenous groups:

If there was people who didn’t look like them in that group, or their spouse or women, the dialogue wouldn’t be as raw and uncut as it was… some things you just share with your brothers because they get it.

Thus, participants generally felt they could share their experiences with their partners based on a shared understanding of discrimination but were sometimes met with expected and unexpected challenges in doing so.

Valuing and celebrating Black love

In face of discrimination that echoed the historical context of slavery, participants described valuing and celebrating Black relationships as well as a sense of unity centered on shared experiences. Shae said, “it’s a source of joy and pride for me to be a part of a Black couple” and to have someone who “understands our history, struggles, [and] how we engage with the world every day.” Participants described Black romantic partnerships as “beautiful” in light of the historical separation that Black families faced (Phil). For example, Kingmaker described the beauty of Black couples as embodied in

…everything that those two individuals carry together in order to form a new bond…. It’s a beautiful thing because I think about what obstacles and challenges they had to overcome and how both of them are working together to fight together these same obstacles, potentially obstacles that they didn’t know existed. So working on that, that’s how I define beautiful.

The value of Black relationships was not confined to perceptions of Black couples overcoming obstacles or achieving goals. A carefree existence was also seen as an important value. Vivian shared the impact of Black couples existing joyfully:

To see a Black man and a Black woman together, out in public, having fun, being themselves, like not really worried well, seemingly not worried about, you know, other things that are going on in the world. It’s really heartwarming for me.

This sentiment was shared by Shae who felt that “because of slavery, we’ve never been able to move beyond work or moving toward goals. And instead have never allowed ourselves to just enjoy the breadth of the human experience.” Additionally, Tasha expressed a sense of comfort that came with having a Black partner, which Kingmaker described as being understood on “the deepest levels because of assumingly shared experiences.” The shared history of slavery and expectation of common understanding in the face of discrimination made led Elizabeth to describe “Black love” as “a safe space to be yourself… But also on a more historical, cultural level, understanding what it means to be Black in America – the stresses of police brutality and being able to talk about it with somebody who understands.” Thus, participants noted the significance of Black couples’ shared history, resilience in the face of obstacles, and experiences of comfort and joy with one another valuable aspects of the relationship.

Discussion

The purpose this study was to examine how individuals’ reflections on the historical context of slavery and experiences with discrimination manifested within their romantic relationships. Overall, participants connected the historical context of slavery to contemporary experiences with racial discrimination that they navigate with their partners. The study identified five themes capturing partners’ reflections and experiences navigating a discriminatory social climate and supporting one another in the face of racial discrimination. The findings suggest similarities in the historic and modern social climate around racial discrimination, family separation, and gender and power within romantic relationships. Reflecting the historical context of slavery, gendered experiences with, exposures to, and expectations of racial discrimination sculpted experiences, expectations, and understandings within Black individuals’ romantic relationships.

Reflecting the embedded nature of the societal systems, the theme comparing social climates captured how discrimination characterized the modern social environment of romantic partners as well as they ways that discrimination had changed and stayed the same over the course of history. There was a juxtaposition where progress in the social climate (i.e., better treatment of Black Americans) was met with a lack of progress – instead interpreted as a modern experience of the same social ills. For example, reflecting prior research on imposed family separation (Hunter, 2017; West, 2004) modern mass incarceration and historic enslavement of Black individuals – and Black men in particular – was viewed as separating Black couples and “breaking the Black household.” Thus, individuals described how Black relationships were treated as if they had little value. Moreover, the focus on family structure reflects the far-reaching implications of federal narratives around Black family structure and social class – despite research highlighting that family structure does not account for racial inequality (Williams & Baker., 2021).

Similarly, historic and contemporary romantic relationships were viewed as being valuable and potentially unhealthy. That is, enslaved Black partners were sometimes perceived as stay together in an effort to resist separation rather than for mutually beneficial reasons. As such, contemporary Black couples were sometimes viewed as staying in potentially unhealthy relationships just for the sake of staying together. These findings were echoed in the theme, assumptions about Black relationships which captured stereotypic assumptions about the suitability and desirability of Black men and women as romantic partners, as well as the instability of their relationships. These negative assumptions may have cultivated a value in Black couples staying together. Consistent with prior work on the strengths of Black relationships (Marks et al., 2008), individuals emphasized the willingness to stay in a relationship and work through challenges as a positive characteristic of Black romantic relationships.

Linkages were also drawn between historic and contemporary gender and power dynamics. In both historic and contemporary reflections, Black women were expected to cultivate the Black male’s enactment of power within their romantic relationship by being submissive and supportive. This gendered dynamic was also reflected in the themes a discrimination triad and an opportunity to respond. Contemporary experiences of discrimination were viewed as reflections of the historic mistreatment of Black individuals. Just as enslaved Black partners navigated concerns around physical safety, these findings suggest that modern Black couples also make relationship decisions with their physical safety in mind (e.g., where to live). This finding is important given increasing public attention to the life-threatening consequences of police brutality. Chronic concerns around safe interactions with law enforcement may have consequences for mental health and race-based conversations in Black families (Miller & Vittrup, 2020). Engaging in collaborative and strategic decision making around where to live and how to interact with safety in mind may be a unique way that Black partners mitigate the threats of racism and racial discrimination on their relationships (Bryant et al., 2010).

Although Black men and women describe how they experienced, were exposed to, and expected racial discrimination, only women in the sample described attending to the physical safety of their partners by, for example, checking the geographic locations. This finding is notable given prior research suggesting that Black men’s experiences of discrimination receive more attention than Black women’s experiences (Awosan & Hardy, 2017) and that when women support their male partners, they experience poorer mental health outcomes (McNeil et al., 2014; McNeil Smith et al., 2020). Taken together, these findings highlight how the macro and chronosystem are embedded, interactive, and intersectional. That is, perceptions of Black romantic partners’ interactions within the current social climate were shaped by perceptions of changes (or lack of changes) in the historic mistreatment and devaluation of Black individuals (specifically Black men and their perceptions of how Black female partners were mistreated) and their relationships.

Finally, the study found that the sociohistorical context of slavery acted as a reference point that cultivated a valuing and celebration of Black romantic relationships. Simply observing Black partners interact was viewed as joyful and beautiful because of the historic mistreatment and devaluation of Black individuals and their relationships. When Black romantic partners have a shared understanding of the historic context of slavery the relationship operates as a space of liberation and solitude – allowing partners to interact authentically in ways they may not be able to do so outside of their relationships. This finding echoes prior research emphasizing the importance of a shared cultural understanding for Black partners (Awosan & Hardy, 2017; Nightingale et al., 2019). The value of this shared understanding was also reflected in the theme an opportunity to respond, as most individuals swiftly encouraged and affirmed their partners in the face of discrimination. This finding highlights how, for Black individuals, relationships may offer a sense community and space of restoration in the face of race-related stress (hooks, 2000). However, there were instances where partners perceived inadequate support and expressed a lack of understanding. Although speculative, interactions around racial discrimination may challenge or reinforce assumptions about Black relationships. Negative assumptions about Black relationships may be challenged when individuals perceive affirmation and encouragement from their partners in the face of discrimination. For example, the message that Black men are inadequate partners may be challenged when Black men lend sufficient support to their partners in the face of racial discrimination. Alternatively, positive assumptions and values held about Black relationships may be challenged when individuals perceive inadequate affirmation and encouragement from their partners in the face of discrimination. Such experiences may challenge assumptions and values centered on the ways that Black couples overcome societal stressors and relational difficulties.

Limitations and future directions

These findings should be considered in light of some limitations. First, the participants were all in heterosexual and in mixed-gender relationships. A more diverse sample would allow researchers to better flesh out how matrices of oppression and privilege contribute to partners navigating historical context and racial discrimination. Heterosexism, classis, and colorism, for example, also occur within a sociohistorical context and are theorized to have implications for Black families and relationships (Landor & McNeil Smith, 2019; McNeil Smith & Landor, 2018). Additionally, data were analyzed on the individual-level. A dyadic analysis may generate findings that better speak to how perceptions of the historical context of slavery and contemporary experiences, exposures, and expectations of racial discrimination may infiltrate romantic relationship dynamics.

Despite these limitations, the findings of this study provide useful insights about the long-lasting impacts of slavery for Black Americans current experiences navigating discrimination with their romantic partners. The study addresses a critical gap in the literature by identifying contemporary experiences of discrimination as a filter for ongoing historical trauma and potential relational consequences of how partners interact in the face of racial discrimination. Furthermore, gendered expectations of and experiences with discrimination highlight the relevance examining within-group intersections among Black Americans. Identifying how the lingering effects of slavery and ongoing racial discrimination affect Black romantic partners and ways to facilitate racism-specific support among Black romantic partners remain important areas for future research.

Supplemental Material

Supplemental Material - Echoes of slavery: Reflections on contemporary racial discrimination in Black Americans’ romantic relationships

Supplemental Material for Echoes of slavery: Reflections on contemporary racial discrimination in Black Americans’ romantic relationships by TeKisha M Rice in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships

Footnotes

Acknowledgement

The author would like to acknowledge Taylor Vaca, Molly Devereaux, Hanna You, Jacqueline Lee, Katie Malcharek, Maddie Yoo, Briana Vargas-Gonzalez, Eddy Mondesir, and Brandon Narcisse for their assistance in data collection and analysis.

Declaration of conflicting interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This research was completed as a part of the author’s dissertation, funded by the National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship Program (Grant No. DGE - 1144245), and the International Association for Relationship Research Steve Duck New Scholars Award. Portions of the findings have been presented at the National Council on Family Relations and the International Association for Relationship Research.

ORCID iD

TeKisha M. Rice

Open research statement

As part of IARR’s encouragement of open research practices, the author(s) have provided the following information: This research was not pre-registered. The data used in the research are not available. The materials used in the research are available. The materials can be obtained by emailing the author at tmrice@vt.edu.

Supplemental Material

Supplementary material for this article is available on the online.

Note

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