Abstract
The literature on parent–adolescent attachment relationships has proliferated in recent years and has found associations between secure, positive attachment and lower mental health difficulties, more meaningful relationships, and increased career and educational success. In contrast, those adolescents who have failed to form meaningful attachments with caregivers appear to struggle in these areas. It is important for family counselors to understand the role that attachment plays across the life span, but particularly in adolescence, as new relationships develop and relationships change. In addition, family counselors may struggle with boundary issues in counseling situations where insecure attachments are of clinical concern. Thus, this article serves as a review of the most current theory and research in the area of parent–adolescent attachment, as well as implications for family counselors—specifically, incorporating attachment into their conceptualization of cases where the adolescent is the identified client and establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries with their adolescent clients.
Attachment has been conceptualized traditionally as a pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that results from a caregivers’ ability to meet infants’ need for closeness (Shirk, Karver, & Brown, 2011). Bowlby (1982) theorized that during early childhood, children utilize their relationships with caregivers to develop an internal working model that incorporates the beliefs that either (a) oneself is worthy of love and that the world is a predictable and positive place or (b) oneself is unlovable and exists in a world that is unpredictable and untrustworthy. These two sets of beliefs are defined as secure and insecure attachment relationships, respectively, and contain three components: proximity seeking, safe haven, and secure base. Proximity seeking refers to an individual’s seeking of physical closeness with the attachment figure; separation is resisted and distressing. Safe haven involves seeking an attachment figure for comfort and support during times of threat of fear and secure base refers to the stability an attachment figure provides for the individual to explore and take chances in the environment. These components also encompass the idea that parents are able to tolerate, or contain, their child’s intense emotional experiences until children become able to manage the experiences themselves (Briggs, 2003).
Counseling students typically learn these basic attachment concepts while covering infancy and early childhood chapters in life span development courses. However, the discussion is less frequently carried over into adolescence. Thus, it is likely that many family counselors leave their formal schooling lacking a clear understanding of the ways in which attachment relationships change over the life span and affect future psychosocial functioning. Studies examining adolescent attachment have important implications for any counselors wishing to work with adolescents and their families. Thus, the objectives of this article are (a) to describe attachment in parent–adolescent relationships; (b) to examine the relevance of attachment in terms of adol-escents’ success individually and interpersonally; and (c) to discuss the importance of family counselors incorporating attachment into case conceptualization and treatment plans when adolescents are the identified clients.
Attachment in Adolescence
Although negative life events can change the trajectory of attachment over the life span (e.g., Weinfeld, Sroufe, & Engeland, 2000), longitudinal studies support Bowlby’s notion that attachment representations are stable, even as they incorporate change and real-world experiences (e.g., Hamilton, 2000; Waters, Merrick, Treboux, Crowell, & Albersheim, 2000). Thus, theorists suggest that children’s progression into adolescence will be most successful if parents have been able to assist in the development of secure internal working models throughout the relationship. Ideally, adolescents develop a feeling of security and an understanding of how to seek help from others. This enables them to embrace their curiosity about the world while feeling protected from the dangers that they may encounter (Duchesne & Larose, 2007). Exploration is more likely to occur, and be successful, if adolescents view their parents as a readily available and responsive base from which they can receive ongoing support. In contrast, adolescents are more likely to fear seeking out meaningful peer relationships or feeling vulnerable in these relationships if they view their parents as an unsteady base from which to explore (Perl, 2008). Without a supportive base, adolescents may also fail to develop a positive sense of their self-worth or the world in which they exist (Duchesne & Larose, 2007).
The importance of viewing parents as a secure base in adolescence directly contrasts the traditional view of parent–adolescent relationships as more negative and adversarial than parent–child relationships (Fussner & Crenshaw, 2008). Causes for conflict may include the transformation from a relationship built on unilateral authority to one built on mutuality (Batgos & Leadbetter, 1994), adolescents’ increased risk taking, and the creation and enforcement of new rules as adolescents’ roles and expectations change (Boyer & Byrnes, 2009). Family counselors may hear parents and adolescents complain about their changing relationships, with parents commenting on the changing levels of respect and helpfulness, and adolescents complaining about their parents’ lack of understanding regarding social and academic pressures.
Recent studies, including a longitudinal study conducted by the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (see Moore, Guzman, Hair, Lippman, & Garrett, 2004 for a review), have revealed that teens typically view their relationships with parents positively and that conflict does yield in favor of a more equitable relationship over time (van Doorn, Branje, & Meeus, 2011). Zimmermann, Mohr, and Spangler (2009) even suggest that conflict can serve a positive role in promoting ego development if resolved within a secure and supportive parent–teen dyad. Indeed, many family counselors working with adolescents consider improving relationships with parents and others to be a significant goal in treatment.
Cultural Influences on Attachments of Adolescents
The importance of the parent–teen relationship also conflicts with individuality as a core, Western culture ideal (Silverstein, 1995; Silverstein & Rashbaum, 1994). Over the past several decades, family counselors have embraced adolescents’ separating from parents, or individuation, as an important goal for both youth and parents and a hallmark of maturation (Silverstein, 1995). While this viewpoint meets the cultural expectations of youth, there is a failure in some counseling approaches to recognize the vital importance of connection to family, friends, and community at this developmental stage. Even young adults who are in the process of launching their own lives need support and emotional connection from loved ones, although their attachment will likely evolve. The pain of disconnection from loved ones can lead to high-risk behaviors, such as substance abuse, gang involvement, or hypersexuality (Crenshaw & Garbarino, 2007; Sklarew, Krupnick, Ward-Zimmer, & Napoli, 2002). Additionally, the fast pace reflected in White American contemporary life may interfere with satisfying human relationships, including attachments between parents and their children (Whybrow, 2005). Finally, one would expect the process of individuation to be different for members across cultures. For example, a family might struggle with viewing individuation as positive if their culture focuses on group harmony rather than individual achievement (e.g., Kwan, Bond, Boucher, Maslach, & Gan, 2002). Determining an appropriate level of individuation on a case-by-case basis is an important consideration for any family counselor working with teens and their families.
The differences between attachment relationships in different socioeconomic classes in Western culture are also evident (Hardy & Laszloffy, 2005). Adolescents raised in affluent families are often seen in clinical settings enraged because they feel emotionally deprived and cut off from connections with parents who are either physically or emotionally unavailable (Crenshaw, 2008). Conversely, adolescents who live in low-income families may be more focused on survival versus satisfying relationships (Hardy & Laszloffy, 2005) or coping with devaluing experiences involving discrimination or class bias that can lead an adolescent to feel unimportant.
In addressing cultural influences on adolescent attachments, however, it is crucial not to overlook strengths in youth and their families. Spirituality and religion are examples of sources of strength for many adolescents and families (Lee, 2010; Vera & Shin, 2006) and have been linked with secure attachment styles (see Reinert, Edwards, & Hendrix, 2009). For example, spirituality serves important functions among Korean youth, family, and community by providing fellowship, a sense of belonging, and a place to maintain cultural traditions and rituals (Lee, 2010; Lee, Change, & Miller, 2006; Min, 1992). Likewise, close ties and attachments with family and extended kin are an important source of strength for many minority families (Harrison-Hale, McLoyd, & Smedley, 2004; Lee, 2010; Vera & Shin, 2006).
Attachment and Adolescent Outcomes
Secure and insecure attachments, as well as the three aforementioned components of proximity seeking, safe haven, and secure base, have been linked with a number of psychosocial outcomes across the life span. As these are common reasons for treatment seeking, family counselors may take note of attachment issues that present themselves during the initial interview and early treatment sessions. Once the counselor has an attachment context from which to understand the presenting issues, it may be easier to determine both the parents’ and the counselor’s role in treatment.
Internalizing behaviors
Attachment is thought to play a role in the development and maintenance of internalizing symptoms, common among both clinical and nonclinical adolescents (Gren-Landell, Tillfors, Bohlin, Andersson, & Svedin, 2009). Studies have consistently found that teens reported a stable, inverse relationship between attachment and internalizing problems (Buist, Dekovic, Meeus, & van Aken, 2004; Laible, Carlo, & Raffaelli, 2000; Liu, 2007, 2008; Vivona, 2000). Those with higher attachment to their parents report less depressive symptoms and decreased suicidal ideation (DiFilippo & Overholser, 2000; Vivona, 2000). Other research has demonstrated a relationship between attachment security and ability to view the past positively, interpret present events accurately both cognitively and affectively, and expect positive outcomes in the future (Laghi, D’Alessio, Pallini, & Baiocco, 2009).
On the other hand, adolescents who do not perceive a secure relationship with their parents report higher levels of internal distress (Berger, Jodl, Allen, McElhaney, & Kuperminc, 2005), an increased fear of future, unknown events (e.g., personal death), and feelings that their parents consider them expendable (Lyon et al., 2000). Taken together, these studies suggest that the positive self-image and confidence in coping abilities that develops as a result of closeness and trust within the parent–teen relationship can protect against feelings of worry, hopelessness, and inadequacy (Caffery & Erdman, 2000).
Externalizing behaviors
Externalizing behaviors can be very disruptive for the parent–teen relationship. Many parents and teens find it difficult to maintain a positive relationship when interactions regularly include arguments and punishments. However, the attachment literature has also conceptualized externalizing behaviors as a result of insecure attachment, rather than simply a cause of it. Theorists suggest that caregivers teach adolescents social skills; therefore, those parents who have harsh and rejecting styles of parenting may be both negatively impacting their teens’ attachment to them while also modeling negative methods of affect tolerance and regulation (Thompson & Gullone, 2008).
Caffery and Erdman (2000) also suggest that adolescents act recklessly in an effort to engage the parent in caregiving or as a result of perceived lack of security from parents. For example, teenagers who believe that their parents are not interested may attempt to elicit desired caregiving responses by putting themselves in harm’s way. If their parents do not respond, the behavior may escalate in risk or severity. Other theorists agree, suggesting that parents who are unresponsive to adolescents’ needs, except when the requests are extreme or dangerous, and who then still respond ineffectively, put their teens in a situation where they must aggressively attempt to force their parents to meet their needs (Moretti, Holland, & Peterson, 1994). As with internalizing behaviors, externalizing behaviors and negative avoidance are lower in adolescents with a high perceived attachment to parents (e.g., Buist et al., 2004; Howard & Medway, 2004; Laible et al., 2000). In other studies, anger and hostility were associated with insecure attachment (e.g., Muris, Meesters, Morren, & Moorman, 2004; Smallbone & Dadds, 2001) and early substance use was associated with lower quality of parent–teen relationship in adolescents cross-culturally (Shelton & van den Bree, 2010; van der Vorst, Engels, Meeus, Devokic, & Vermulst, 2006).
Peer and romantic relationships
One of the most well-known changes that occurs in adolescence is the increased reliance on and interest in peer relationships. Hazan and Zeifman (1994) suggested that peers operate in an attachment hierarchy for adolescents, where parents are not rejected as attachment figures but instead, move down the attachment hierarchy until replaced by a romantic partner in adulthood (Furman & Wehner, 1994). Others maintain that as a crucial aspect of individuation, adolescents shift their emotional attachment from parents to peers, and finally to romantic partners (Grotevant, 1998). Early in adolescence, increases in peer relationships seem to coexist with decreasing trust and communication in relationships with parents (Nickerson & Nagle, 2005). Peer relationships generally have a stronger influence over adolescents’ emotional stability, psychological health, feelings of inclusiveness, and confidence than parental relationships (Hay & Ashman, 2003). Nevertheless, research suggests that it is the security experienced in the parental relationship that allows secure adolescents to extend themselves and seek intimacy in these new relationships (Furman, Simon, Shaffer, & Bouchey, 2002).
As teenagers progress through adolescence, they may begin to replace best friends with romantic partners to fulfill sexual and attachment needs (Furman & Wehner, 1994; Markiewicz, Lawford, Doyle, & Haggart, 2006). Attachment style lends itself to the quality of romantic relationships. One study suggested that securely attached adolescents experienced less stress and greater utilization of effective coping skills than insecure adolescents in relationships with romantic partners (Seiffge-Krenke, 2006). Related to this, research has also demonstrated a link between insecure attachment and physical violence in adolescent and young adult relationships (Henderson, Bartholemew, Trink, & Kwong, 2005). Some research has even noted the increased potential for intimate partner violence when both partners are insecurely attached (Daly & Mallinckrodt, 2009). These teens may reexperience and reenact their early, insecure attachment patterns (Orcutt, Garcia, Pickett, 2005), although some theorists suggest these insecurely attached teens may seek new relationships as a way to feel security and comfort in a meaningful relationship (Furman et al., 2002).
Transition to college and career
Central attachment themes highlight how successfully young adults are able to navigate this developmental task, including the ability to explore on their own, to experience separation as nonthreatening, and to rely on others for comfort and help when needed (Grossmann, Grossmann, & Zimmermann, 1999; Scharf, 2001). Those who have insecure attachments may find that closeness comes at the expense of individuality and independence, or may individuate themselves in a way that dismisses the importance of others in their lives.
The movement from high school to higher education is an exciting, and yet intimidating experience for many adolescents. Attachment relationships are particularly important during this time, as security in relationships with parents or other significant relationships with prominent adults can help with the management of anxiety as it arises (Larose & Boivin, 1998; Learner & Kruger, 1997). Securely attached Israeli men transitioning from high school to mandatory military service were perceived by peers to cope better during training than those with insecure attachment. The men also perceived higher responsiveness and support from their parents (Scharf, Mayseless, & Kivenson-Baron, 2004). An insecure attachment pattern, alternatively, could leave young adults at risk of higher levels of stress and loneliness when attempting such a transition (e.g., Larose & Bernier, 2001; Vivona, 2000), even after controlling for self-attributes such as self-esteem and personal control (Scharf et al., 2004).
During this time of transition, thinking about a career path is also involved for many adolescents. Being undecided about a career is common and can be a source of distress for many teens, even though it is not necessarily developmentally inappropriate (Gaffner & Hazler, 2002; Multon, Heppner, Gysbers, Xook, & Ellis-Kalton, 2001). The emotional support and security provided by positive attachments with parents affects the amount of anxiety with which adolescents meet this stressor, with higher attachment buffering the anxiety and increasing environmental exploration more than lower attachment in career decision (Schultheiss, Kress, Manzi, & Glasscock, 2001; Vignoli, Croity-Belz, Chapeland, de Fillipis, & Garcia, 2005). Research in this area is still in its infancy, with few published studies that have directly examined the relationship between career indecision and attachment (Downing & Nauta, 2010; Tokar, Withrow, Hall & Moradi, 2003).
Contextualizing Attachment When Generating Treatment Plans
One way that family counselors can utilize early treatment is to assess the possible attachment issues underlying problematic behaviors or ineffective views of relationships with others. Being able to directly observe adolescents’ attachment relationships with parents in session as well as inquire about parents’ and teens’ views of trust, security, and communication in their current relationship may give the counselor an impression of the quality of the attachment from both perspectives. In this way, parents can be used as both consultants and co-clients in the treatment process (Barmish & Kendall, 2000). Furthermore, family counselors can also benefit from incorporating knowledge about parents’ attachment patterns with their own parents into the plan for treatment. Research has found that parenting styles and subsequent attachment patterns can be transmitted across generations (e.g., Brook, Richter, & Whiteman, 2000). The Adult Attachment Inventory (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1996) is a frequently used, semistructured interview that assesses childhood attachment in adults.
Understanding the role that others play in teenagers’ lives is inherently important when determining the most effective treatment approach and the goals of counseling. Insecure attachment can manifest itself in a number of ways, ranging from an overreliance in relationships or unhealthy development of friendships and romantic partners, to a “loner” stance, where attachment relationships are minimized and reliance on others avoided. If the information gathered from the parent–teen dyad suggests an unhealthy attachment that is affecting the adolescent’s internal or external world, the counselor may choose to work directly with this dynamic, or refer for family counseling.
Implications for Family Counselors
In addition to the important information family counselors can glean from witnessing and understanding the adolescents’ attachment relationships, the counseling relationship itself is crucial. As mentioned previously, the shift from parental relationships to extrafamilial attachment relationships is profound during this developmental period. Therefore, the relationship between a counselor and adolescent is an important one, especially because such attachment dynamics are triggered when an individual experiences distress or fear (Bowlby, 1982). A counseling relationship can act, in and of itself, as an important precursor for change. Furthermore, family counselors benefit when they understand the ways in which their own attachment styles impact the adolescent counseling relationship. In sum-mary, the limited research in this area demonstrates (a) counselors with higher ratings of secure attachment form strong working alliances with adolescents (Dunkle & Friedlander, 1996), (b) those counselors with dismissing attachment styles experience hostile countertransference (Mohr, Gelso, & Hill, 2005), and (c) and that in some cases, counselor attachment styles do not have a significant relationship to counseling alliance or treatment outcome (Crook Lyon, Gelso, Fischer, & Silva, 2007).
First, just as in most counseling relationships, a healthy counselor–adolescent client relationship is characterized by mutual trust and respect between both individuals (Eliot, 2009). Research on counseling relationships suggests that the emotional bond between adolescent and counselor is a core component of the alliance (Shirk et al., 2011). By framing the session within specific limits and boundaries, family counselors help adolescents learn that the counseling dyad is a psychologically safe environment to express and direct raw, honest affect. The unconditional acceptance gleaned from such an experience may be different from what adolescents experience in their peer or parental relationships (Castro-Blanco & Karver, 2010). Further, this acceptance allows the working alliance to grow and enables adolescents to actively address the emotional, career, or academic issues that have brought them into treatment. Supervisors may also wish to incorporate the research that supports that counseling gains made early on in counseling are based upon the contribution of a strong counseling alliance (Reyes, Shirk, Labouliere, & Karver, 2010; Shirk et al., 2011). This finding has even been supported in adolescent samples where treatment was mandated instead of sought out willingly (MacLeod, 2011). Forming alliances in adolescent treatment can be challenging for family counselors who are also trying to formulate a positive, working relationship with parents as well as the adolescent. Supervisors can assist family counselors with this delicate process by conceptualizing the strengthening of the alliance as a recurrent task of counseling, much as the maintenance of a secure attachment requires ongoing attention.
Second, adolescents strive to develop awareness of their inner life in relation to their most significant relationships, including the counselor. The adolescent’s growth is contingent upon close relationships, which many at-risk adolescents lack (Perl, 2008; Black, Grenard, Sussman, & Rohrback, 2010). Adolescents in nurturing families experience opportunities to help other family members, developing emotional intimacy, adjustment and valuable life skills in the process. However, many adolescents today live in families and communities that expect little of them in terms of social interest. They are not mentored by caring, competent adults and have an incongruent sense of personal responsibility to their family, neighbors, and social networks (Green, Schweiker, Kolos & Keith, 2009). These affected adolescents are often times unsure of their place and value to society and may thrive with the support of caring adults to help them overcome obstacles, solve problems, take responsibility, and make a meaningful contribution to their school and home communities. Thus, they respond positively to family counselors who actively and nonjudgmentally listen to them and provide supportive and creative ways to help them understand themselves, particularly if this role is otherwise unfulfilled in their lives.
Finally, the counseling relationship may offer adolescents a corrective attachment (or emotional) experience (Black et al., 2010), particularly when adolescents’ experiences have included loss, trauma, broken or inconsistent relationships, and a lack of stable attachment. Although there are no quick fixes, attachment research has demonstrated that subsequent relationships with a securely attached significant adult can enable an adolescent to become more securely attached (Siegel, 1999).
Finally, understanding one’s own reaction to a client can be insightful from both an individual and a family systems perspective. For example, interactions with an anxious adolescent may trigger feelings of frustration or boredom in the counselor. This client may struggle or resist doing anything alone, regardless of ability, resulting in feelings of resentment by the counselor. Alternatively, because of their evasion of close relationships, avoidant adolescents may activate feelings of inadequacy or discouragement in their family counselors (Daly & Mallinckrodt, 2009). Reframing mistrust and insecurity in sessions with adolescents as manifestations of insecure attachment rather than resistance or neediness can lead to more productive counseling efforts and a more positive counseling outcome for both the adolescent and other family members.
Because of the unique developmental needs inherent in adolescent growth and development, family counselors working with familial systems comprising adolescents strengthen the possibility for successful treatment by familiarizing themselves with current, research-based foundations in adolescent and parent attachment. This article provided a current and comprehensive overview of adolescent attachment styles and suggested way to incorporate this research in treatment. After a careful distillation of the most current literature, family counselors may glean that strong, secure attachments when parenting young children often lead to later development in adolescence hallmarked by feelings of safety, security, and stability. Competent family counselors working with diverse systems must incorporate the knowledge and skills for identifying and facilitating secure attachment styles in their own psychotherapy practice, as well as coaching parents to recover and provide a corrective emotional experience from historical psychological assaults to the child’s ego. This practice is primarily facilitated, a “positive potential future,” through consistent, structured, and authentic acceptance of adolescents’ strengths and a firm commitment to remediate deficits in the insecure/unhealthy parenting and familial forms of attachment.
Footnotes
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.