Abstract
By Sue Morris. New York: Basic Books, 2008, 293 pages, $14.95.
Overcoming Grief: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques is written from the perspective of a clinical psychologist. This book is one of a series of twelve self-help books originated by Peter Cooper, Professor of Psychology at Reading University and formerly a research fellow at the University of Cambridge. The Overcoming series is designed to empower individuals to embark on a path of recovery using cognitive behavioral techniques.
Overcoming Grief begins with an obligatory caution encouraging readers to seek professional help if they are experiencing any of the 14 warning signs listed. Throughout the majority of the book, key points summarize each section within the chapter to ensure reader understanding. Ten chapters and three appendices organize and identify information for easy accessibility. Chapters are brief, concise, and can be easily understood by the lay person. This book is helpful because the author includes situations from everyday life and then applies a framework of exercises to generate successful outcomes.
The book begins by defining grief and its uniqueness from one person to another. The process of grief is described by listing the normal physical and emotional reactions a grieving person experiences after the death of a loved one. Realistic beliefs about grief and the bereaved are demonstrated through illustrations and figures. These illustrations show grief as a wavelike pattern with ups and downs, and they demonstrate how these patterns are affected by positive or negative triggers. These illustrations provide the reader with a clearer understanding of the intensity and variations in the grief process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and the expression of grief varies. Individuals should be encouraged to express their feelings in their own way. However, while the author encourages the expression of feelings, she also suggests that the bereaved become an active participant in his or her own healing by gaining control over grief through the process of challenging unhelpful thoughts.
Along with grief, the death of a loved one brings additional stressors such as financial worries, distributing belongings and personal property, legal issues, and guardian responsibilities. The author describes a helpful way to handle these types of problems. For example, she recommends techniques such as separating each stressor into an imaginary box and generating a daily to-do list. This compartmentalization enables the bereaved to identify, organize, and prioritize worries during an overwhelming and confusing time. In addition, the author provides tools to establish a daily routine to gradually face difficult situations and includes a framework to practice making difficult decisions. Finally, the book includes suggestions for healthy diet habits, exercise routines, and sleep.
The scope of Overcoming Grief is broad and includes an approach to difficult conversations with different age groups, including children. Clear guidelines are given on how to talk to children about death and this approach enables the reader to better understand the child's concept of death. Suggestions are given for behavioral techniques that can be utilized to maintain connection with loved ones, such as creating a memory book, a CD of favorite songs, or a special album with favorite photos. Others who are grieving have found it therapeutic to make a memory book that tells their loved one's story.
The author recommends behavioral approaches for facing difficult times like first holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. This approach includes four components: anticipating the first special event, planning ahead, developing realistic expectations, and reminiscing. Also mentioned is the importance of starting a new path and tips for keeping expectations realistic while creating a support system.
The last chapter focuses on how friends and family can support the bereaved. This chapter goes into depth on how to speak with and treat a grieving person using examples from commonly encountered scenarios. I found it fascinating that the author included the impact that surrounding people have on a grieving person. A grieving person is not going through hard times in isolation, and the support and love of friends and family is essential.
Overcoming Grief has impacted me as a health care provider by offering me a better understanding about how to utilize cognitive behavioral techniques in my clinical practice. This book is also an important resource for patients as they try to cope with the death of a loved one and begin to move forward to managing their grief and establishing positive routines. The frameworks and practice exercises enable the reader to fully engage with the material and provide powerful tools for overcoming grief. I recommend this book to clinicians looking for basic knowledge in dealing with grief and to the grieving individual, friends, and family to help empower themselves on the road to recovery.