Abstract
The article identifies subtle structural and socio-political issues behind kathoeys’ (Thai male-to-female transgender) migration decisions and categorizes the structural aspirations of their migrations to Europe and their goals to be in binational relationships in their search for a “better life.” The research was conducted in Thailand, Belgium, the Netherlands, the UK and Denmark. The article also reveals kathoeys’ irregular migration and outlines relevant literature in the light of gender, sexuality and migration, as well as their sentimental dynamic and feminine identity formation validated by their binational relationships under crypto-colonized cultural ideologies.
Introduction
In recent decades, the combination of capital flows, globalization, international socio-political changes, transnationalism and internet technologies has radicalized the ability of people from the Global North and Global South 1 to contact, interact and encounter each other. Such interactions often lead to transnational relationships, and even marriage, of people from different nationalities. The rapid growth of Thailand’s economy that began during the 1980s and early 1990s and the global queering movement that started at around the same time (see Altman, 1996) led to more contacts between kathoeys—Thai male-to-female transgender people—and European tourists, who acknowledged and supported kathoeys’ right to pursue their lifestyle. This acknowledgment fueled kathoeys’ romanticization of the European world and contributed substantially to the large flow of kathoey migrants to Europe. Furthermore, even though Thai society seems to be more tolerant and accepting of transgenderism compared to other societies worldwide, trans women in Thailand still experience prejudice on legal and social levels. They face state discrimination towards LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or gender non-conforming and other) people, including legal rights and governmental policies, and discrimination that affects their daily lives, safety, mental health and employment prospects. This socio-political reality has led many kathoeys to migrate. They have used a variety of strategies to get to Europe, including accepting low-skill labor work, performing transgender sex work and, in this modern time, finding Western partners and getting a spousal visa—which is considered the most convenient and effective way to migrate.
Previous research on Thai migration to the Western world (i.e., North America and Europe) has concentrated on economic theories that emphasize labor migration, suggesting that economic deprivation is the main factor that pushes Thai women to migrate for work—including sex work—or marriage in Europe (Plambech, 2010; Ruenkaew, 2003). Theoretical concepts of sexuality and gender as practiced in specific social and cultural contexts have been invoked in critiques of economic theories, as well as to directly analyze the social phenomenon of binational marriage. Suksomboon (2011) argues that ideologies and practices regarding gender and sexuality between Global North and Global South countries help explain such marriages, i.e., gender and sexuality are parts of mechanisms that may affect binational relationships, marriage, adaptability and prolonged partnerships. She also suggests that gender and sexuality should be critically examined to understand how and why European governments (in her case study, the Dutch government) intervene in the relationships and lives of cross-cultural partners. She argues that gender and sexuality have been used by the state to protect or prevent the residential statuses of Thai women who are partners of Western men.
This article examines the phenomenon of kathoey migration to Europe, including factors that motivate their migration and the reality of their binational partnerships with European men—all through participants’ own words. There is no statistical record of the number of kathoeys who migrate and live in Europe. Due to the Thai government’s policies, Thai transgender women’s official identity remains as male. Therefore, I have collected data about their migration experiences and opinions through field observation, critical ethnography and in-depth interviews. The data presented in this article are part of my doctoral research in Cultural Criminology (Pravattiyagul, 2018) which was conducted from an initial pool of 60 kathoey research participants, of whom 23 were interviewed in cities in Thailand, 11 in the UK, 14 in the Netherlands, six in Belgium and six in Denmark. The research proceeded intensively over the course of four years, from 2013 to 2017. The main specific areas for data collection, both in Europe and in Thailand, were Thai restaurants and bars, Thai temples, transgender nightclubs and parties, transgender sex parties, red-light districts, as well as places my respondents negotiated their daily lives, such as their apartments, salons, local bars and the like. My respondents from diverse backgrounds were interviewed with similar questions. I initially relied on snowball recruitment to identify and engage respondents throughout this research. Many participants introduced me to their kathoey friends and acquaintances, or gave advice about where or how I might approach kathoeys in Europe. This confidence was crucial, because access to this close-knit group in Europe—including sex workers, undocumented migrants or older kathoeys—could have been otherwise difficult. However, to collect data from diverse kathoey social groups, I conducted fieldwork in various settings, as mentioned earlier, to approach potential research participants. 2
This article is composed of four sub-topics: a review of the literature regarding international relationships and migration, particularly from Thailand to the Global North; an analysis of the seven main motivations for kathoey migration to Europe; irregular migration; and, to conclude, an analysis of kathoeys and their relationships with European men.
Binational relationships, gender and migration
A rich literature addresses many aspects of cross-cultural relationships and marriage. The earliest theories concentrated on micro-level economic motives, arguing that marriage results from individual rational choices, i.e., individuals calculate that marriage offers more profits and advantages than being single does (Becker, 1991; Gorny and Kepinska, 2004). This work has been criticized, not only because it starts with an assumption that individuals have more freedom to choose than they actually have, but also because these approaches overlook family members’ participation in decision-making about marriage and migration (Suksomboon, 2011).
Later economic theories expanded their analysis at the macro-level. These studies suggested that economic demands and migration opportunities were the main factors that pushed people to have cross-cultural partnerships (Borjas, 1989; Lee, 1966; Todaro, 1969). These scholars further suggested that poverty in terms of education and financial status, especially for women, intensified the desire to migrate to more developed countries. However, transnational migration is expensive, and migration laws and legal labor controls in developed countries are very strict, particularly for low-skilled laborers from the third world. For these political-economic reasons, marriage or partnership with men from developed countries has become the most promising migration opportunity for women from the third world, and especially because marriage-based visas allow marriage migrants to work in the developed countries (Fan and Huang, 1998; Humbeck, 1996). However, recent studies indicate that migrant spouses’ access to the labor market is more complicated nowadays because destination countries regulate migratory flows through the marriage-based or spousal visa (see Fresnoza-Flot and Ricordeau, 2017; D'Aoust, 2013; Wang, 2017). Still, the focus on economic motivations offers a one-dimensional or even stereotypical presentation of what constitutes women’s experiences.
Further studies have added new insights regarding migration, cross-cultural partnership and marriage in relation to economic and geographical variables. These theories explore how men from developed and rich countries become more attractive to women from the third world, compared with men from marginalized areas or poorer countries (Lavely, 1991; Li and William, 1995). Cross-cultural marriage is analyzed within the framework of “spatial hypergamy.” The anthropological notion of hypergamy, which represents the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class, becomes part of an explanation of how marriage opens doors of opportunity for women and their families to climb up the social ladder. Lavely (1991) and Constable (2005a) developed the concept of spatial hypergamy to explain the cross-cultural marriage of women from third world countries, proposing that, in addition to marrying up (social and financial mobility), cross-cultural marriage/relationships provide improved geographical mobility. Earlier scholarship on cross-cultural marriage has been criticized as “masculinistic” (Constable, 2005a; Piper, 2005 cited in King et al., 2006: 411) because it neglected social-contextual variables such as gender, class, race and citizenship. These variables are defined and interpreted differently in each society, and together they comprise powerful mechanisms that strongly shape and govern cross-cultural marriage/relationship patterns and migration of women from the third world countries (Suksomboon, 2011).
The concept of gender is also used to explain the phenomenon of binational marriage or cohabitation with European men. Gender, a much used and often abused concept, has been defined in mutually incompatible ways by scholars from a wide range of disciplines. Gender is a state of sexual mutability that flows through individuals’ contextual existence. Generally, mainstream genders are constructed and disciplined through social categorization of sexual identities. Femininity and masculinity are connected to socially constructed female and male gender roles (Fresnoza-Flot and Shinozaki, 2017). Moreover, gender is a dynamic sexual state that influences the distribution of power in class systems, ethnicities and other disparities under a range of political, economic, social, cultural and historical conditions; all of which influences organization and access to social power and resources in each period of time (Fresnoza-Flot and Shinozaki, 2017; Beasley, 2005). The studies that apply gender notions tend to argue that social roles, women’s designated family responsibilities (which differ from men’s), social pressures upon women, such as motherhood, daughterhood or experiences related to divorce, all influence the decisions of women from poorer countries to consider cross-cultural marriage and migration (Fresnoza-Flot and Shinozaki, 2017; Harzig, 2001; Sharpe, 2001). These studies emphasize women’s agency and negotiation power in which marriage and migration are acts of resistance against sexual oppression, or an escape from social and family control in their homeland (Ortiz, 1996; Pedraza, 1991). Moreover, women should not be regarded as a homogeneous group, and economic and social disparities among them help to explain the variation in women’s migration and cross-cultural marriage experiences (Fresnoza-Flot and Ricordeau, 2017; Alicea, 1997; Moore, 1988).
Social research has tended to pay more attention to the connection between gender and sexuality. On a fundamental level, the concept of sexualities encompasses all practices that relate to sexual desires. An individual’s sexual desires are not “natural” in any meaningful sense, but rather a social interpretation; sexual desire is a target of political and social control, and a space of submission and struggle on both the individual and the social level (Suksomboon, 2011). Sexualities in different cultures are complex. They are comprised of an individual’s and cultural beliefs, values about sex, feelings, sexual desires, sexual contentment, sexual identities, genders, sexual orientations, sexual binary relations, definitions of sexual relations and sexual practices (Duangwises and Jackson, 2013).
While some scholars have attempted to apply gender theories to explore women’s binational partnership and migration, several studies have investigated the connection between sexuality involving binational partnership and migration. For instance, Constable’s (2005b) study of marriage between Chinese and Filipino women and their American husbands describes the courtship process through kinship, matching agencies or dating websites. Asian-womanhood is presented as gentle, sweet and sexually arousing, and the victimization of such women—in the forms of poverty and underdevelopment—is presented as constructed stereotypes that affect interactions, expectations and marriage of cross-cultural partners. However, in the Thai context, literature is limited to discussions of Thai women and Western partners (Fresnoza-Flot and Merla, 2018; Fresnoza-Flot, 2017; Chantavanich et al., 2001), and other possible gender combinations are ignored. A particular strand of research examines relationships that began in the context of sex work (see Roux, 2011), wherein underprivileged women from rural Thailand encounter Western customers with whom a relationship may develop into marriage, partnership and migration to the Western world (Lisborg, 2002; Mix, 2002). Often, studies in this field overlook cross-border relationships built through the internet (see Angeles and Sunanta, 2007) and other social networks (such as through family members or friends), the experience of cross-cultural relationships, and gender and sexuality dynamics as related to highly educated or well-off Thai women who are married to Western men. With the exception of Suksomboon’s (2011) study, most research on Thai women does not examine how cross-cultural partners are constructed and how individuals are taught to think and practice sex in certain ways—for example, in areas like sexual intercourse, married life, or the cultural difference of “good-women” values. There is a concomitant paucity of research that analyzes disparities in understandings of “manhood” between the two countries and how these shape Thai women’s cognition, experience and interpretation, all of which influence their decision to seek a cross-border partnership (see Suksomboon, 2011). Above all, there is virtually nothing specifically on kathoey international partnerships and migration to Europe. Thus, this research can provide new information to advance Thai kathoey migration and binational relationships studies.
In Thailand, the country’s views on LGBTQ+ in the 21st century are more liberal than in the past. Despite the large number of kathoeys and gender diversity in the population, the Thai government remains less than fully committed to contributing to equality and providing legal protection against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. The many forms of discrimination experienced by kathoeys are an important factor that motivates their migration to Europe.
Kathoeys’ motivations to migrate to Europe
Compared to the migration of other Asians (such as the Chinese, Indonesian, Vietnamese and Indian), Thai migration to Europe is a relatively recent phenomenon. It was first visible in the 1970s (Chantavanich et al., 2001) and most of the people who migrated were women. These women were mostly uneducated and came from the rural areas in Thailand, especially from the northeast region. Even today, compared with other immigrant ethnic groups, Thai immigrants in Europe are still mostly women, but their points of origin within Thailand are now more widely dispersed. Also, some of these migrants are more highly educated and richer than previous generations, and have met European partners through tourism, the internet and other social networks. However, even though there are no statistical data on the kathoey population in Europe, it is well known within Thai communities in Europe that many kathoeys have migrated and continued to live in Europe to seek “better societies” and opportunities to have so-called “normal” and “equal” lives, and to do transgender sex work to earn much more money.
From my data analysis, I have identified subtle structural and socio-political issues behind kathoeys’ migration decisions. I categorize the structural aspirations of kathoey migrations to Europe into seven main groups: (1) economic reasons; (2) state discrimination in Thailand; (3) employment issues in Thailand; (4) street discrimination in Thailand; (5) a romanticized vision of life in Europe; (6) desires for “normal” lives and romantic relationships; and (7) desires to increase social status in Thailand. Here, I elaborate each of these rationales for migration by using my research participants’ words and narratives, which reflect the phenomenon most precisely.
First, economic motivation plays an important role for all research respondents. Many explained that they are from rural areas and working-class backgrounds, and many of them saw themselves as underprivileged when they were in Thailand. Life in Thailand was a financial struggle for them and their families, and being a kathoey magnified these struggles, especially when compared to opportunities available to cis-gendered
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people. They came to Europe to work and now earn more money. Some of them receive a monthly allowance from their European partners, some of which they send as remittances to support their families in Thailand—who continue to be economically disadvantaged and in need of financial help. These motivations are explained below: I come from Isan [an agricultural region in Thailand] and have only a 6th grade education. My parents were farmers, and we did not have enough money. I moved to Pattaya to do sex work. I still remember my first customer. He was a white guy who tipped me THB [Thai baht] 1000 [approximately EUR 30.] Have you ever felt like this? […] when you are so excited and overwhelmingly glad in your heart that it makes your hands shake? It happened to me when I first touched that THB 1000 baht for the first time. After that I set an aim in my mind. I will have to find a farang (white Westerner) partner and move to Europe. (Gai, 36 years old, Copenhagen, Denmark)
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We [her family] did not even have enough money to buy food to eat. I had to come to the UK to work so I can send money to my siblings so that they can go to school. (Nee, 42 years old, London, UK) I remember I was so poor that sometimes I ate fish sauce with rice. Our roof had some holes and when it rained some nights we [she and her family] were wet […] The only way to have better lives was to move to richer countries to work or to find farang men. (Thida, 38 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands)
However, although the economic rationale seems to be a dominant push factor, the quotes above show that economics are linked to other motivations. Capitalism’s domination of the global ideological spectrum seems to construct participants’ romantic vision about the “superiority” and “high culture” of Europe and European men. Kathoeys who come from underprivileged backgrounds believe that finding “rich and superior” farang partners is the most effective way to achieve their goal of escaping poverty. Kathoeys’ economic reasons for migrating are also related to participants’ (5) romanticized vision of life in Europe, and (7) desires to increase their social status in Thailand. However, since political-economic reasons pose barriers to migration, binational relationship or marriage with European men offers the best channel for participants to secure a visa to a European country.
Second, state discrimination in Thailand, including lack of transgender protection law and other structural issues, pushes kathoeys to find “better” lives and opportunities to experience equal human rights. They expect to find such opportunities in Europe. My middle-class kathoey participants demonstrated a greater awareness of the lack of legal protection for Thai transgender people: Money is not a problem for me. I am just so sick of how things work in Thailand. Where do we start? There is no democracy and of course no basic human rights whatsoever, […] I still have to carry the goddamned male ID card everywhere. I feel so embarrassed when I travel abroad, and I’ve been locked up so many times at the airport migration because I look like this [she pointed at herself] but the documents still say I am a Mister. It feels like I am vilified every time I have to use my ID. I cannot apply for any private insurance company because I am a kathoey. They don’t accept kathoeys. Funny, right? We are not good enough to be insured in Thailand. I really hope I will be lucky enough one day to move to a developed country. (Jibby, 37 years old, Bangkok, Thailand) On my Sor.Dor 43 [the Thai military discharge paper], it is written that I do not have to practice in the military because I am “mentally sick and cannot be treated within 30 days. Having female breasts and is a second-type person.” And I used this paper to apply for jobs in different firms. Did not get any. I had to work as a make-up artist instead before I moved to London. So nice we don’t have to have problems like this in the UK. (Bell, 34 years old, London, UK) My partner and I have lived together for 18 years, but we have no right to benefit from each other. There is no same-sex marriage or civil partnership in Thailand. So, let’s say if I die tomorrow, by law, he can’t benefit anything from my pension or inheritance. Or let’s say he has a car accident tomorrow, the hospital will have to ask permission from his family for any treatment he will need, but he hasn’t talked to his family for many years. I will have no rights to claim anything as a lifetime partner. This is how it is in Thailand […] Trans-paradise reputation? It is absurd! My sister has a Thai takeaway restaurant in Frankfurt, we talk about moving there and working with her after our early-retirement. I’m so fed up with this country, I can’t wait to move. (Preeraya, 52 years old, Pattaya, Thailand) I’m so jealous of kathoeys living in Europe, they get to change their initials [from Mr. to Mrs.] and to have legal rights. I hope I can live there some day. It seems like a much more relaxed life. (Wanda, 21 years old, Nakhon Pathom, Thailand)
Thailand has been governed intermittently by the military junta since 1932. During these periods, including the most recent in 2014, the risks associated with political opposition are greater for some respondents. This makes remaining in Thailand even more uncomfortable for kathoey respondents who are sensitive to the government’s role in the social challenges they face. These are also the respondents who most resent the denial of their political voice. Nonetheless, even these kathoeys mention additional factors that support their migration decision, most notably the chance to find a man who will love them and the chance to find a better job.
Third, employment issues in Thailand are described by all research participants as one of the most important reasons that push or continue to push them to migrate. The participants narrated their experiences about kathoey employment discrimination in Thailand, which seem to transcend their widely varying intersectional identities, social classes or education levels. All of them believe that Europe offers better employment opportunities for transgender people, and that they can earn much more money working in Europe than in Thailand. Thus, Europe became their dream destination to live, and where they could earn money and send remittances back home. Many participants reported that their life goal is to earn money from working in Europe and then move back and retire in Thailand once they are wealthy enough to buy a decent house and provide for their families. Most participants regularly send money to their families back home. Working in Europe dramatically improves their and their family’s lives. The following extracts from the interviews focus on how employment issues in Thailand push kathoeys to migrate to Europe: I have a bachelor’s degree from Thailand, and I do sex work. When I was a teenager, kathoeys could not find any work. I studied economics but could not find a job. And forget about governmental jobs! They’ll never accept a kathoey application. The private sector rejected me, too. The only choices for kathoeys back then were to be make-up artists, stylists, drag queens or selling yourself [sex work]. While I studied, I worked part-time at a bar in Patpong [a sex tourism area in Bangkok] and joined a kathoey cabaret show. I loved it. It was the only place where we could express our kathoey identity. We really couldn’t be open about who we were in public back then. But you earn almost nothing working in Thailand, so, I found my way to come to Germany and lived with my cousin first. Then a kathoey friend in Amsterdam invited me to work with her as a chef in a Thai restaurant for five years. Then I started to do sex work here […] I have worked in the red-light district for more than 10 years now, I think. (Jessy, 53 years old, a kathoey sex worker in Amsterdam, Netherlands) It’s so hard to find any job because I’m a kathoey. I want to live in Europe like my aunt, so I can work and make lots of money to support my parents. (Wai, 24 years old, Chumphon, Thailand)
Some educated kathoeys say that they decided to engage in sex work in Thailand and Europe because discrimination kept them from their preferred employment. Despite their claim, my in-depth data analysis 5 suggests clearly that their choice to work in the sex industry is not purely based on employment issues in Thailand or due to kathoeys’ desperation finding jobs in other economic sectors. There is a complexity and ambiguity when it comes to analyzing kathoeys’ decisions to migrate to join transnational sex work.
Fourth, street discrimination in Thailand is another reason why kathoeys desire a life in Europe. Kathoey respondents indicate that they experienced verbal abuse regarding their kathoey identity on a daily basis in Thailand. It sometimes comes in the form of “Thai jokes” that most Thai people, including many kathoeys, will not take as “serious offense.” Many participants explained how they have adopted a Buddhist culture of tolerance to deal with mockery or bullying in schools, workplaces, other public places and even in their families. Moreover, participants asserted that they are unsatisfied with how the Thai media regularly portrays them as sources of amusement or as goofballs. These kathoey images shape the way society sees them or even the way kathoeys see themselves. These media representations influence how some kathoeys act to live up to the goofball stereotype as they try to find their rightful space in society. Moreover, beyond social prejudice and transphobia, the hierarchy within the kathoey sub-culture—including pressures of social/class status, the seniority system, competitiveness or the beauty hierarchy—also push kathoeys to move to Europe. Frustration over lack of social acceptance in Thailand leads kathoeys to search for opportunities to migrate to countries where they believe they can find societies with less transgender discrimination: I felt so uncomfortable when I lived in Thailand. People looked at me and gossiped. They looked at me like I’m a clown […] I still feel paranoid when I visit Thailand because it feels like people judge and look down on me all the time when they look at me. I never feel that in Denmark. If you are a beautiful kathoey in Europe, then farangs can’t tell that you’re a kathoey. Even though you have sex with them, they still think you’re a real woman. That’s why they are less prejudiced, because they can’t tell [if she is a kathoey]. But Thais can. I won’t move back to Thailand for sure. Too much social pressure. (Pok, 34 years old, Copenhagen, Denmark) If you are not a beautiful kathoey, you will feel more alienated from the Thai society. I feel like I am not valuable here […] like there is no social space for me. I want to migrate to Europe so that I can have more acceptance from society. Also, if I get to live abroad, people in Thailand will look up to me. (Da, 21 years old, Nakhon Pathom, Thailand)
Fifth, my questions regarding their European dream yielded some very interesting insights. Participants clearly demonstrated the range of ways in which they held romantic and idealistic notions of European men and life in Europe. They had many ideas about how they could fulfill their lives and dreams due to their contact with Europe, and with European men. In their view, European men are the best, and offer the easiest and least expensive path toward successful migration and realization of their life goals: My self-esteem was boosted when I dated a farang, because people with dark skin and ethnic face like me are considered ugly in Thailand. But farangs think this kind of look [tanned skin and “Asian eyes” and other features] is attractive. Before I immigrated to Germany, the word “Europe” gave me dreamy imagination. The whole thing about Europe seemed so classy and luxurious. I imagined life in Europe must be perfect; people have nice houses, big cars, […] wear fashionable clothes, eat fancy food, just like what I saw on TV. I thought, farangs look so beautiful; their blue eyes, white and healthy skin, high noses and tall height. They might make me feel like I’m inferior because I’m short, dark, having flat nose and ugly. After that, I felt that Thai men were so ugly, short and dirty. (Saifan, 20 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands) I learnt farang culture from Pattaya by communicating with lots of them. Farangs accept trans identity much better than Thais because they are so open-minded, civilized, free, and accepting of people’s opinions and differences. Life is easier, and life quality is much better than in Thailand. People with low education have better life opportunities in Europe. (Jessy, 53 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands) Not only because of their fair mentality, I also like farangs because they could give me better life and opportunity. You know, I have lots of family members to take care of. The best way to migrate to Europe is to get a local [European] man to guarantee your spousal visa. (Pok, 32 years old, Copenhagen, Denmark) I moved to Germany when I was 12 years old to live with my aunt, who has a farang husband. So I got to grow up in Germany and Holland. It's true that Europe has more legal protection for kathoeys but it does not really work. Because I can tell you that I was bullied much more in German than in Thai schools. Thai kids just mocked me about how feminine I was, many times in a merciful way. But in German and Dutch schools, some of my classmates were seriously disgusted by how I looked or how I was. Nobody wanted to be friends with me and, several times, I was violently beaten up on the street on the way home. And no teachers in the schools took any action. I lived in small towns before. The reality for kathoeys here [in Europe] is rather depressing. I have learned this over the time that I have lived here. It is totally different from what I dreamed of before I moved here. It's not easy. The language, the food, the weather, and when you have problems, people here won't get involved to help you. They don't have a collective society like in Thailand. It's an individualistic society here. Also, people here are not chill; you have to be punctual all the time, people are stressed out all the time. In Thailand, you can have a much more relaxed and easier life. You can harvest stuff and eat from your own farm or neighborhood. […] Importantly, I strongly believe that street abuse and social harm towards transgender in Europe is harsher than in Thailand, if they can tell you're a kathoey. Most of the kathoeys would say there's less social discrimination here because Europeans can't tell who's a kathoey. But they can easily differentiate me from biological women, and they do. I'm not a beautiful one. (Saifan, 20 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands) European men fulfill my happiness about idealized romance; they kiss and hold me on the street. They treat kathoeys like real women and take me more seriously. They are more gentle and sweeter than Thai men. Thai men are more conservative because Thai society pressures them; they would never do that with a kathoey in public. Thai men are never serious with kathoeys. To have a Thai boyfriend, kathoeys have to be sugar mommies. (Kao, 27 years old, London, UK)
Seventh, kathoeys desire to move out from a marginalized social class situation or position by being with a farang. Because of capitalist expectations and social oppression that are part of Thai culture (see Esterik, 2000), they believe that living in Europe and having European partners will raise their and their families’ social class position in Thailand. Participants reasoned that Thai people perceive those who have a European life experience as successful and socially superior to other Thais. As they said: I thought that if I move to live in Germany, it will enhance my family’s reputation among neighbors in the village. And it’s true, they [her family] feel more superior than any neighbors because I moved to Germany. Everyone in my village thinks that life in Europe or America is like a dream, they think everyone must be rich and having a good life. (Saifan, 20 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands) [Having a] pua-farang [white-Western husband] elevates the lives of grassroots kathoey. They give kathoeys higher social status. Kathoeys who are with farangs seem higher class and more civilized because they have better life stability, they can speak English, have more money and have better jobs in Europe. (Muk, 52 years old, Chumphon, Thailand) I know an older kathoey from my junior high school who lives in France with her farang boyfriend. [My kathoey friends and I] are so jealous of her. We stalk her on facebook every day. She lives a dream life, traveling to beautiful places in Europe with her hot hubby all the time, wearing gorgeous expensive clothes. She is our idol. If you ask me how I wish my life to be, I want to be like her, a successful kathoey who gets to live in the West so that nobody in Thailand can disparage me anymore. (Baitong, 26 years old, Nakhon Pathom, Thailand)
However, kathoeys’ actual experiences in Europe were not always as rosy as they had imagined they would be (Pravattiyagul, 2018). Thirty-seven kathoey respondents who lived in Europe have reported stories of experiencing discrimination in Europe, including verbal abuse, physical abuse and violence on the streets, bullying at school, discrimination during job applications, racism and social exclusion.
Irregular migration: Sham marriage, identity fraud and fake passports
Some participants spoke openly about their personal history as unauthorized migrants. Some of them came to Europe on a tourist visa, then remained and worked in Thai restaurants, or engaged in sex work and other kinds of so-called “black money” jobs. Some of their kathoey friends were caught and deported by the European authorities.
Interestingly, many older participants shared similar histories about sham marriage, identity fraud and fake passports. For example, several participants corroborated each other’s past stories about a fake passport agency in Pratunam, Bangkok. Today, kathoeys mostly enter Europe on a partnership, student or working visa, unlike the older generation who had fraudulent documents when they migrated to Europe between the 1970s and early 1990s. Many paid local Europeans to marry them, some had purchased fake (female) identity documents, and many held fake passports for many years until they were granted citizenship in a European country. I have selected two narratives from participants of the unauthorized migration generation: First, I visited my cousin in Germany many times. She was married to a German and I wanted to live in Europe like her. So, I hired a German woman to marry me. At that time, all my documents said I am male and there was no same-sex marriage in Germany yet. I contacted the fraud marriage agency and we got married in Denmark because it has a reputation for giving visas easily. Afterward, the German government found out that the fake-wife also had a real-husband and they wanted to deport me, so I fled to Amsterdam. That’s where I met Yai (her kathoey friend living in Amsterdam). I went back to Thailand and made a new passport. A fake one. At that time, there was no computer data for Thai passports and no identity bio-scanning machines. I spelled my name just few letters differently and then I got a new passport with new identity. Then I married Yai, my good friend, so that I could move to Amsterdam. (Jessy, 53 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands) In the past, there were a few agencies bringing Thai women from Pattaya to do sex work in Europe. These women and some kathoeys came with tourist visas and stayed illegally after the visa expired. Some hired locals to marry them to stay in Europe. These women and kathoey worked in red light districts in Utrecht, Den Haag and Amsterdam. When I was younger, lots of Thais did sex work in Dubai, Saudi Arabia and Europe because of the economy. The first generation of kathoeys in Europe, especially Germany, was mostly through fake personal documents. Many kathoeys had to go to a fake passport agency located in Pratunam […] Many kathoeys got a fake passport indicating female identity and these passports allowed them to later marry European men. Back then, same-sex marriage was not legalized like today. Me and my friends got our passports with our female pictures, fake female names and other female details. Back then, online visa system did not exist and finger scanning was not available. It was easy to do identity fraud and we can use these passports and identity forever. And once we got Dutch passports, all the problems were solved. But these days, there is no such thing like this anymore. From what I see, kathoey in this generation come to Europe with their farang partners or through tourist visa. Then they overstay to work. It is much easier now. (Sunee, 64 years old, Amsterdam, Netherlands)
Discussion and conclusion
As legal discrimination and social prejudices against transgender people continue in Thailand and Europe, kathoey respondents have limited opportunities in the job market, and their basic human rights are incessantly threatened. Nevertheless, the feminine aesthetic can offer an outlet. Some kathoeys focus on making themselves beautiful and earn money by participating in pageants, becoming actresses or finding European men. Research participants believed that they would gain social acceptance, self-value and life success by striving for perfect femininity and beauty, and by having a white, Western partner. They explained that kathoeys uphold their identity through transitioning their bodies and conforming to ideologies of femininity. They also reaffirm kathoey identity through expressions of hyper-femininity, subscribing to the beauty myth and, sometimes, engaging in sex work.
The desire to improve living conditions can serve as an umbrella over the many illustrated economic, social, romantic and legal pressures that motivate kathoeys to find European partners and migrate to Europe. However, differences in gender and sexuality ideologies, as well as different interpretation, are also essential to specific kathoey constructions of their recognition and experience of binational relationships, and shape the decisions of many kathoeys to be in a cross-border relationship with European men and to move and live with them in Europe.
It is also important to bring into the discussion the perceptions of European men in their binational relationships with their Thai partners. The literature on European men–Thai women relationships suggests that European men perceive their Thai wives through the lens of gendered stereotypes of “Asian women.” Thai women are often orientalized and perceived by European men as gentle, sweet, submissive and easy to control (Lapanun, 2013). Thai gender roles and characteristics are seen as different from Western women. Moreover, the European beauty ideology defines tanned skin, feminine and “exotic” Asian bodies as sexually desirable, which makes Thai women appear as somewhat exciting, exotic and attractive for some European men. Previous research showed that these men develop the desire to have Thai wives who can fulfill their relationship needs as Western women may not (see Lapanun, 2013; Sunanta, 2009; Tyldum and Tveit, 2008; Suksomboon, 2011). Sometimes, the European media—TV shows, news and a wide range of internet platforms—presents stereotypical and prejudiced images of Thai women and kathoeys, portraying them as sexually mysterious and exotic and, occasionally, as products Western men can purchase. Thai women and kathoeys are often portrayed as victims of poverty and impoverishment, which has pushed some of them to do sex work; or they are chosen by Western men who have an “inferiority” complex (such as men who are elderly or poorly educated or have physical or mental issues) and who cannot find partners in their own countries (see Suksomboon, 2011). The rhetoric and biases in the Western media show that experiences of Thai women are perceived (not only in academia, but on a day-to-day basis) by the Western world and Western media through colonialist ideologies that distinguish between civilized and uncivilized societies (Suksomboon, 2011). Thai women, including kathoeys, are often presented as victims not only of their own societies, but of Western men (Tyldum and Tveit, 2008).
Gender inequality pragmatism exists not only within male–female relationships, but also within kathoey groups. Kathoeys are viewed as stereotypically “Asian women” in the context of traditional society. European men, therefore, expect their kathoey partners to be somewhat submissive, gentle and interested in playing a caretaker role in the family. By contrast, European women are understood as stereotypical “Western women” who are equal to men or, at least, insist on being treated as if they are equal. The stereotypes of “Asian women” and “Western women” can be seen in the ways European men treat Thai and Western partners differently, and the men’s tendency to believe that they have more power over Thai partners (Suksomboon, 2011).
Moreover, the stereotypes that portray Thai women as victims and sexual objects that European men can purchase via the internet are related to the notion of “mail-order brides” (Suksomboon, 2011). This notion overlooks the agency and sentimental dynamics of women from the third world. Similar to Suksomboon’s (2011) findings about Thai women, my research data reveal kathoeys’ awareness of how the media influences some Western men to hold negative stereotypes about them. At the same time, kathoeys’ own imagination and sense of romance lead them to construct stereotypical images of the European men they hope to marry. Kathoeys also understand themselves to have started the internet relationship, mostly through dating applications or websites, to be in control of their virtual relationships, to have voices and to be the ones who proactively decide on an internet-based or physical relationship with Western men. Differences between gender and sexuality ideologies between Thai and European societies, as well as different senses of pragmatism, could hardly be more dramatic.
The internet gives kathoeys and their European partners a comfortable and safe space in which to learn, interact, negotiate, reproduce and/or redefine gender and sexuality ideologies and practices as applied to them as individuals. This study has found that many European men realize later that the stereotypes are unreal, and that kathoeys are not as submissive or as personally and economically dependent as they had believed. Some kathoeys take full advantage of the “Asian women” gendered stereotypes. Many of my respondents are in healthy relationships with European partners, and frequently explained that they are in these relationships because of love. However, they often use the gendered stereotypes as tools to maintain relationships (and residency) in Europe. Even though such practices do not lead to the construction of gender-equal power relations, they do reflect negotiation and manipulation, as well as kathoey agency, as practiced consciously and unconsciously. The migration laws of the Netherlands, the UK, Denmark and Belgium stipulate that their citizens’ partners coming from other countries cannot apply for resident permits independently. By law, kathoeys are dependents of their European partners for the first few years after migration. With the limitations regarding the social and legal issues towards kathoeys in Thailand, kathoeys thus have to play the traditional and “good woman” role in their relationship to retain their husband’s fondness for them, to sustain their good relationship, and to secure their residency in Europe.
Previous scholarly works (see Sunanta, 2009; Lapanun, 2013; Suksomboon, 2011) have discussed how the ideology of the “good Thai woman” affects Thai women’s decisions in cross-cultural relationships in Europe. This ideology informs Thai women’s sexual pragmatism and how they tolerate a patriarchal social structure in Thailand that includes expectations regarding the social stigma of divorce, virginity, sexuality and gender roles. Some of these studies also investigated how Thai women migrants have constructed their understanding of transnationalism—that is, how they recognize and integrate within European culture after they immigrate to Europe—and how their mixed identities are interpreted on global and local levels. Women make adjustments because European societies are more individualistic and liberated than Thailand’s, in terms of sexuality, body politics, relationships and family life. In addition, the cultural notion of Thai patriarchy affects Thai women’s decisions to be in relationships with European men and their migration to Europe (Suksomboon, 2011). The European norm of monogamy and its more equal cultural notion of gender in Europe both reinforce Thai women’s interest in pursuing cross-cultural partnerships with European men. This analysis of Thai women in cross-cultural relationships in Europe is somewhat different from my research data on kathoey binational relationships with European men. My analysis hews closer to the study of Fresnoza-Flot and Merla’s (2018) European men–Thai women relationships.
Kathoeys are expected to fill the roles of and act as “good Thai wives” in their relationships with European men—they take care of housework, they cook, they attend to their farang partners, and they are expected to use charm to win their partner’s heart. But kathoeys have very different cultural and identity backgrounds from Thai women, even though they see themselves as women. Kathoeys do not share the same ideologies about marriage, monogamy, sexuality, virginity or divorce as Thai women, and they are generally less submissive in cross-cultural relationships. Many of the participants explain that they have agreed to “open relationships” with their European partners because they assert that relationships between kathoey and European men are no different from farang–Thai wife relationships, but only more open/liberal sexually. For instance, many European men–kathoey couples can have one-night stands or casual affairs with other people while they are in a committed relationship or marriage. Interestingly, participants emphasize how relationships with European men, accompanied with their ideologies of beauty, ensure and accentuate their kathoey feminine identity. The ways they are treated by European men enhance kathoeys’ self-esteem and empower and validate their gender and sexuality as “valued women.” Participants’ romantic vision of European men and life in Europe, as their structural aspiration to migrate, illustrates a post-colonialism ideology (see Herzfeld, 2002; Bhabha, 1994). As Herzfeld (2002) explained, Thai citizens are proud to say that their national sovereignty has not only withstood but indeed overwhelmed efforts at colonization. However, even though Thailand has never been formally and militarily colonized by the West, Thai people and culture have been “crypto-colonized,” resulting in an inferiority complex toward the West, as well as viewing Westerners as racialized sexual objects of desire for some Thais.
In my participants’ words, farang men and Europe are seen as high-class and superior. They continue to believe that Thai men cannot fulfill this desire based on Thai men’s very different behavior with kathoey lovers. Many respondents said that relationships with European men fulfill their soul, make them happier and make them feel more like they are “real women” who deserve to be loved. Only a minority of participants are financially dependent upon their European partners. Most kathoey respondents in Europe have careers and are economically independent. Participants with a higher education tend to have more deeply held expectations of gender equality in relationships, and also tend to demonstrate much more agency and voice than those with less education. While some participants’ European partners never tell their family or friends that their spouse is kathoey, others are open about it. Overall, all participants are satisfied with their relationships and they have no regrets over their migration.
Class, gender, political economy and hypergamy have been applied to existing studies of binational couples and migration of Thai women to the Western world, as well as to the reverse migration of their pua-farang (Western husband) to Thailand. My research findings show that the migration aspirations of kathoeys differ from those of Thai women migrants because of the kathoeys’ experience of different kinds of pressure, discrimination and social stigma. Belonging to gender minorities is a significant factor in their migration. Kathoeys struggle daily with structural and legal impediments and resist social and employment discrimination. Gendered morality, class, ethnicity and romantic visions of the West all affect their ability to negotiate life in their new environment. Their internal struggles in Thailand motivated kathoeys to migrate to Europe, legally and illegally, and also help to explain the upsurge of the kathoeys/pua-farang binational couples’ phenomenon in the transnational context.
Footnotes
Declaration of conflicting interests
The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
1
The terms “Global North” and “Global South” represent economic production at their base. The Global North is economically well-off; the Global South is economically disadvantaged. The terms are also parts of a constructed social imaginary that facilitates the continuation of race-based domination and social hierarchy.
2
3
Cis-gender defines a person who has gender identity identical to their sex assigned at birth.
4
This study’s participants have shared immensely sensitive information, including their trauma, illegal acts, undocumented immigrant status, sex work, unfaithful practices in their partnership and more. To protect their privacy, the participants’ names have been changed and only details about age, and country of residence (at the time of the interview) are provided in this article.
